WEBVTT - 9 Oddball Comic Book Characters (Who Won't Be Getting Their Own Movie) 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.200 Welcome to Part Time Genius, the production of I Heart Radio. 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.560 I guess what, Mango? What's that? Well? All right, So 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.880 one thing I love about comics is all the captains. 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:20.280 What do you mean captain's you know, like Captain America, 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.840 Captain Marvel, Captain Planet, And of course I have to 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:28.080 save the best for last, Captain Caveman of Captain Caveman. 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:30.160 But this week I came across one that I bet 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:33.680 you've actually never heard of, Captain Tutsie. If you heard 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.200 of Captain Tutsie before, I have no idea who Captain 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:39.440 Tutsi is. Alright, So Captain Tutsie was a superhero debuted 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:42.640 in nineteen forty three during what's known as the Golden 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:46.159 Age of comics. But Captain Tutsie does not feel like 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:49.080 he should have come from this Golden age. Actually, why 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.280 is that? Well? For starters, Captain Tutsie was created explicitly 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:55.520 to sell Tutsie rolls. So chances are if you bought 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.240 a comic between nineteen forty three and the early nineteen fifties, 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:02.400 it probably included a one page comic ad in which 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:06.160 Captain Tutsie would perform all kinds of daring deeds like 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:09.640 rescuing a pilot of a crashing plane or taking down 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:12.040 a bear with a sniper rifle, you know, all those 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:16.120 amazing things. But the Captain didn't go on these missions alone. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.760 He always brought his secret legion with him. So who's 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.400 in the secret legion? You know, it's it's an intimidating crew. 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.840 It's three eight year old boys named Rollo, fats So, 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:31.240 and Fisty, and all of them ate a lot of 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.360 Tutsie rolls, you know, to kind of help them get 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:36.560 the job done. It just makes sense, and so anytime 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:39.080 danger reared its ugly head, the Captain would just reach 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:42.080 into his bag, pull out some energy packed tutsie rolls, 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.800 and they'd all power up for the challenge, you know, 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:48.120 which sounds like a delicious way to deal with the situation. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.600 So what happened to Captain Tutsie Well, I mean, I 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.480 know what you're thinking. You would you would imagine that 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:56.200 this sugar fueled bear fighting superhero would just stick around 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.400 for ages. But by nineteen fifty, for some reason, the 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:01.800 company this idea he should hang up his shoulder bag 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:05.200 of candy for good. And by that time, other genres 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:08.200 like science fiction and Western's had all really taken off. 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.560 So I love the idea that people used to love 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:13.079 to read about adults fighting crime with eight year olds. 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:16.679 But then, but then science fiction put that genre out 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:19.720 of business. Yeah, it's it's weird, but if nothing else, 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.679 the Captain is a good reminder that not all superheroes 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.840 are created equal. There are plenty of duds in the mix, 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:27.880 and those are the ones we want to shine a 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.960 spotlight on today. All the characters who have been saddled 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:36.280 with useless superpowers silly motivations are just unfortunate fashion choices 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:39.560 over the years. In other words, nine oddball comic book 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:42.919 characters they'll probably never make a movie about, So let's 0:02:42.960 --> 0:03:07.760 dive ina. Hey there, podcast listeners, Welcome to Part Time Genius. 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.040 I'm Will Pearson, and as always I'm joined by my 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.560 good friend Manges Ticketer and on the other side of 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:16.239 the soundproof glass delicately working the knobs with these giant 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.240 green whole cans. It's been a while since I've seen 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:22.400 these things, but our producer Lowell has dusted them off 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.760 and he is going at it. I imagine it's kind 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:26.639 of hard to get the volumes just right when you're 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.320 smashing the boards with those whole cans. But we do 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:32.840 appreciate the effort Lole, you know. And after a long hiatus, 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:36.720 joining us once again on the phone, our researcher Gabe Bluesier. Hey, 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.320 they're Gabe. Hey, guys, it's great to be back behind 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:42.120 the mike. Thanks for having me, Gab. I'm so excited 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:43.760 to have you here because I know it is your 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.880 birthday this weekend. So normally when I washed my hands 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:49.400 now for twenty seconds, I I sing that outcast song 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:52.240 I'm Sorry Miss Jackson to myself, just the chorus. If 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.160 you do it twice, you're good. But this weekend I 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.720 sang just for you, happy birthday to Gabe when I 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:01.120 was washing my hands, So I like you should feel honored. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:04.920 But but how is your quarantine going? So far? So good? 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.080 You know, staying indoors quite a lot. I'm thankful for 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.600 this opportunity to talk to people outside of the house 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.520 for a change. And well, how's life in in Birmingham. 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.600 You know, we're we're hanging in there day week two 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:21.960 of of home schooling slash trying to get some work done. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.240 But yeah, it is, like Gabe said, it's really nice 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:28.080 to connect with the outside world. And since Gabe is 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:31.120 the guest and it was his birthday, I feel like 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:34.240 he should kick this off. And and actually, Gabe, you 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:37.120 actually know a lot about comics. No, no offense, Mango, 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.200 but I feel like we're just kind of kind of 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.440 pretending here. Absolutely all right, So here's my first pick. 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.800 I want to talk about a nineteen forties crime fighter 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.840 known as the Red Bee. So the Red b is 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:53.359 actually don't tell anyone, but his secret identity is Rick Raley. 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:57.400 He's an assistant district attorney who kind of got tired 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.599 of seeing criminals, you know, set free on technic plities, 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.280 so he decided to take justice into his own hands. 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.000 Of course, the way he chose to do this is 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.080 a little bit strange. He put on a yellow and 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.120 red stripey costume, of course, and he charged into battle 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:18.800 with an actual b as his side. And I mean, 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.120 you you gotta remember this was back in the early 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:25.039 days of superhero comics. The characters they, you know, mostly 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:28.120 took the form of kind of like pulp vigilantes, like 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:31.120 the Shadow or something like that. So they may have 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:34.880 worn colorful costumes, but they fought largely with their wits 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.880 and their fists, and uh, you know, they only had 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:41.560 a slight edge over the mob bosses and the crooked 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:44.159 politicians that they were squaring off against. There were no 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:48.520 you know, superpowered supervillains. And in the Red Bees case, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:54.080 his special edge was Michael. And Michael was a trained 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:57.640 be that lived in a secret compartment inside of his 0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:00.120 owner's belt buckle, and uh, you know, he could be 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:04.000 unleashed on unsuspecting foes, you know, whenever he was needed. 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:06.400 So first off, I just love that this killer bee 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.000 is named Michael, Like it is so vanilla and killer 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:12.559 Mike was right there for the taking. But also bees 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:15.080 can only sting once before they die, right, so Michael 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.000 can't be that much of a help. Well to that, 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:21.720 I say, how dare you? You have obviously never met 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.520 a b like Michael, because unlike your average be, Michael 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:28.640 could sting really as much as he wanted without dying. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:30.560 But that said, you know, you're right, a single bee 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.080 isn't all that much of a threat, even one that 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.640 can kind of sting with impunity. That is, you know, 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:38.920 unless the criminal is allergic to be stings. But uh, 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.479 in later stories the Red Bee he actually upped his 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:46.040 game by stuffing an entire swarm of specially trained bees 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.000 into his belt buckle to kind of keep Michael company. 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:50.560 And I don't know about you, guys, but that's my 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.440 kind of hero. I love that. It's so ridiculous. So 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.599 there have been a few different superheroes named Black Condor 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:00.800 over the years, but the original character from is the best, 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.040 and it's all because of his backstory. So here's how 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.240 it goes. Uh, there's this archaeologist named Richard Gray. He 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:10.800 goes on this dangerous expedition to Mongolia, and uh he 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:13.840 decides to bring his wife an infant along, and sometime later, 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.720 tragedy strikes. The couple is attacked and killed by a 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:20.240 group of raiders. Uh and the baby, Richard Gray Jr. Survives, 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.440 but he obviously has no way offending for himself. But 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:27.120 as luck would have it, a flock of highly intelligent 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.160 Condors comes along at just the right time, and they 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.360 take pity on the boy and decide to adopt him 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.800 and raise him as one of their own. So, you know, 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:38.200 Gray doesn't fit nicely into this avian family at first, 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.880 but over the years, he actually teaches himself to fly 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:44.160 like the condors who raised him, and that's the origin. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.200 But what's weird about it is he doesn't get packed 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:49.160 by a magic condor. He he isn't struck by a meteor. Right, 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.800 He doesn't do anything supernatural. He doesn't wear a jet 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.400 pack or a wingsuit. He just straight up flies around 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.600 like a bird. And it's all because he just decides 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.800 to And that I think what makes this so stupid. 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:07.160 As the first issue explains, like, he simply quote puts 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.560 his keen mind to the task of studying the movements 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.080 of wings, the body motions, air currents, balance, and levitation, 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:17.560 and after some studying, quote, his determination was rewarded by success. 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.360 So he's probably wondering, like, how does an orphan who 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:23.480 learns to fly from condors get the name Black Condor? Right, 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.240 human who later takes him in He teaches him to 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:28.960 become human and read and speak and all that, and 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:30.800 he gives him the name Condor because he was raised 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:35.120 by birds and Black Condor because he has black hair. Okay, 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.320 that's not quite where I thought that was going. But also, 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.840 I mean, does this guy even count as a superhero? 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:44.880 Like it sounds like he's just flying around doing bird stuff. 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:49.280 Once Black Condor gets up to speed, like on the 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:52.400 human world. He eventually migrates to America, where I guess 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.040 all the crime is assumes the identity of a U. S. 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:59.720 Senator who has just died, which is such an elaborate story. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:02.160 But from that point on he starts leading a new 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:05.800 double life politician by day and bird vigilante by night, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.880 which is pretty great. God, that's just so so amazing. 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.000 All right, Well, here's another weird Golden Age comic character. 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:16.280 This is Victoria Murdoch. But unlike the Red Bee and 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:20.520 the Black Condor whatever, Victoria was a supervillain who went 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:24.319 by the name Asbestos Lady, and that just sounds so scary. 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.480 But Victoria was a brilliant chemist gone mad, and she 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:31.080 used her knowledge of asbestos to create this fireproof suit 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:33.520 for herself, which she then used to carry out a 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.040 series of arson based robberies. I mean, it's a dated 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:40.640 idea now, because asbestos will get you crazy sick, obviously, 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.360 but her m O was to use a flamethrower to 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.600 create this wall of fire around the bank, and then 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:48.800 with the police held at bay, she would rob the 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:53.360 place inside her asbestos lined suit. So she eventually became 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.720 a recurring arch nemesis for the human Torch, whom she 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.719 fought using the special asbestos bullets that she designed just 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.920 for him. I mean, she must have been like super smart, 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:04.760 knowing how to do all this stuff. But of course, 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:07.640 if you know anything about asbestos, you know that draping 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:11.760 your body and the stuff is not particularly safe. But 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:15.920 in ninety seven, asbestos was viewed as this miracle material 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:19.360 and it was the go to choice for fireproofing, popping 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:23.240 up in everything from roof insilation to firefighter uniforms. So 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:27.120 Victoria Murdoch spent nearly two decades in this asbestos suit 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:30.560 when weirdly, science caught up with the storyline, and it 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:33.080 is sad to say that it's a case of art 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:36.240 mirroring science. It was later revealed that she had succumbed 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:43.920 to mesothelioma. Dark dark, Oh my gosh. All right, well, 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.280 here's something I never would have guessed before this week. 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:50.320 The first ever cross dressing superhero was a character named 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:54.480 Madam Fatal, and they were created way back in ninett 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.920 of course, you know that said the depiction is about 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.679 his nuanced and thoughtful, as you might expect given that era, 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:04.120 and you know, the character was never meant to explore 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:08.040 gender expression or anything weighty like that, but it's it's 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:10.560 still pretty amazing that this happened at all, right, Like 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.080 I mean, for all kinds of reasons. And you know, 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.000 once I explained this, you're you're gonna see what I mean. 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:18.320 So here's how the story went down. A young girl 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:22.000 in Manhattan gets kidnapped from her father, who's a wealthy 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:25.600 actor named Richard Stanton. Stanton decides to kind of put 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.959 his talents as an actor to use in order to 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.960 get his daughter back. So he goes undercover and he 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.319 infiltrates the gang that took her. But here's the thing. 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:38.560 Stanton decides that, for some unknown reason, the best way 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:42.360 for him to gain access to this shady criminal underworld 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.280 is by dressing up as an elderly woman with a 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:50.120 cane and introducing himself as Madam Fatal. It's, you know, 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:55.120 an unusual choice that's never really explained in the story. Um, 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.880 you know, Stanton is a good fighter, he's a master 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:01.080 of disguise, so it didn't really have to be the 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.360 old lady. You know, he didn't have to go that route. 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.320 But you know, whatever works, I guess, and h in 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.280 the end, it helped Stanton get his daughter back. So 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.920 you know, that basically means that Adam Fatal is kind 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:16.480 of like the Mrs doubt Fire of superheroes, and no question, 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:18.120 you can't beat that. So now I want to talk 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:22.160 about some characters with questionable superpowers, and uh, I'm gonna 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.720 do that with this DC character known as Matter Eater Lad. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:29.520 I've actually talked about matter Eater Lad before because he's 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.480 kind of a favorite of mine. And the thing he 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.600 does is eat matter, like that's all he does, but 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.600 it's all types of matter, and uh, you name it, 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.480 he can eat it, no problem. And while that ability 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:43.160 isn't all that helpful on the battlefield, it does come 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.760 in handy if he's trapped somewhere because he can just 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.560 eat his way out, or if he needs to dispose 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.480 of a dangerous object, again he can just eat it. 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:53.920 The last powers were deemed useful enough to earn him 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:56.200 a spot on the Legion of Superheroes, and this was 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.600 back in the nine sixties. I think the most modern 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.440 aspect of matter eat the Lad's powers is that he 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:04.760 is a supertaster, so not only can he eat anything, 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.040 but he can also analyze the composition of anything he 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.720 puts in his mouth, which makes me wonder if normal 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.720 supertasters don't like grapefruit or cilantro or super spicy foods. 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:18.360 I wonder if that's like his kryptonite could be. I 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.440 think the question it raises for me. The thing I'm 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.800 more confused about is why do they call him a 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:27.719 lad when he is clearly an adult man. That's a 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.240 good question. Maybe he's got like a growing boys appetite. 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:34.360 I have no idea, but we do have more characters 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:50.480 to dig into right after this break, Welcome back to 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.160 Part Time Genius. We're talking about the strangest characters in 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.600 comic book history. So just before the break, Mango introduced 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.720 us to maybe my favorite name of superheroes today, matter 0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:03.120 Eater Lad, which is such a weird name, and it's 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.280 something we're all very thankful for, I'm sure. And and 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.439 speaking of descriptively named superheroes with absurd powers, there's no 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.960 way to get through this episode without talking about the 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:17.199 next one. It's another classic DC hero arm fall off 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.280 boy that that is exactly what his name is. The 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.240 character made his debut in nineteen eighty nine, when he 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.200 auditioned for a spot on the Legion of Superheroes and 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.200 promptly got rejected for having a power that was even 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:32.960 weirder and less useful than Matter Eater Lad, whom you'll 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:36.080 recall did earn a spot on the team. So once again, 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.560 it's all right there in the name, arm fall Off 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.680 Boy has the ability to remove his arms without being harmed, so, 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.640 for instance, any issue where he tries out for the team, 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:48.760 he demonstrates his skill by pulling off his arm and 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:52.240 wielding it like a makeshift club. Now, needless to say, 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.240 this fails to impress the legionnaires, who quickly brush him 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:58.720 off with a polite no thank you. But apparently the 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.720 arm fall Off Boy was deterred by the rejection because 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:05.920 he actually returns a few years later, this time going 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.560 by the decidedly cooler name Splitter. I don't know, I 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.040 kind of like arm fall Off Boy, but unfortunately the 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.800 Legions sees through the rebranding and rejects the poor guy 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:19.680 for a second time. Yeah, that's rough. I think we 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.120 can all agree the new name was a big improvement, though, right, 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.280 I mean, I mean, I guess, if we're being honest, 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.760 it was just so stupid before that. It it almost 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:29.040 seemed worth it, and arm fall off Boy is just 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.640 inaccurate on all counts. I mean, first off, according to 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:37.320 the comic, all of his limbs can be removed, legs included. Secondly, 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.680 his limbs don't just fall off on their own. He 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.000 actually has to pull them off if he needs to 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:45.240 improvise a weapon. And Lastly, I mean, this is how 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:48.480 much I've analyzed this game. Judging from how beefy he 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.600 looks in the artwork, this guy is no more a 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.760 boy than you know, Mad Eater Lad was a lad. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.920 So it's a stunningly off based name. And now now 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.000 I'm talking about this, I'm actually starting to get worked 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:03.440 up about his eye. Sound angry, Yeah, that's wrong. I 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.560 mean the weirdest part to me is that the whole 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:10.200 limb removing power is just so underwhelming, right, Like, why 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.240 would you want that power at least with matterader Lad, 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.560 Like maybe you can win the Coney Island Hot Dog 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.240 Eating contest or you know, something like that, But if 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.080 you're going to rip off your arm to use it 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.760 like a club, why not just carry a club? Yet, 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:26.920 It's like this guy has absolutely no access to anything else, 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:30.280 and it's almost it's like would an arm really be 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.000 that great of a club to use, just like Fleshy 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.560 and everything, not even all that horror. But I guess 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:38.120 it sounds like we all agree the Legion of Superheroes 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:43.000 probably made the right call on rejecting him. Yeah both times. Actually, 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:46.160 all right, So my next pick is a Marvel character 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:50.280 from the nineteen seventies named three D Man, and he's 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.320 another case where the concept itself is interesting, like it's 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.280 pretty cool, but the usefulness of his powers, that's that's 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.400 the part that's lacking. So for starters, his powers really 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.120 don't have anything to do with three D at all, 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.639 which makes sense because you know humans already see in 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.880 three D. Anyway, that part didn't stop the character from 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:12.040 sporting a red and green costume, complete with his own 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.200 pair of three D glasses, which are actually very bad 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:19.919 for your eyes. And when it comes to his origin story, well, 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.159 I mean, it's honestly just as out there as his 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.040 name in costume. So here's how it went down. Before 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:29.439 becoming three D Man, Chuck Handler was a test pilot 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.440 for NASA who was abducted by an alien race called 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:37.040 the Scrolls. And while Chuck did manage to escape his captors, 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:40.080 he was caught in an explosion in the process, and 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:44.360 the resulting radiation vaporized him instantly. It sounds like that's 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:46.640 the end of the story, but this is actually where 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.160 things get weird. Because Chuck's brother, How he watched this 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.800 whole event unfold and his Chuck was being vaporized, two 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:58.399 images of him were imprinted on his brother's glasses, you 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:02.560 follow it. So, as it turned out, when How concentrated 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.560 really hard on those two D images of his brother, 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.560 he could trigger a dimensional shift that would cause How 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:14.560 to reappear as three D Manah, And that is, of 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:19.320 course a superhero with strength, speed, and reflexes equal to 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:23.639 that of you guessed it, three human beings in peak 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:29.720 physical shape like the three of us basically. But there 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:31.600 was a catch to all this. Whenever three D Man 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.439 was summoned, How Handler's body would just kind of slip 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.639 into a comatose state, you know, even as his mind 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:42.040 remained aware of his brother's actions due to this uh 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.840 psychic link between them. So it was kind of a 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.160 raw deal for How He's just sort of laying there 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:49.520 on the ground while all this is happening. But I 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.240 guess at least he got to see his brother again, 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.680 you know, I mean, so long as he never lost 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:58.920 those classes. I feel like I honestly heard everything you said, 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:00.919 and I have no idea how his words go together 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:07.760 to make a story. But uh, but I have a 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.440 pretty good character to close this out. So first though, 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.800 I thought it might help to give our listeners a 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:16.199 quick refresher on the nature of superpowers. So in the 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.199 Marvel universe, for example, like superpowers can come from just 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:22.119 about anywhere, right Like, it could be like a spider bite, 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.679 a seramon lab, a gift from the gods, or, in 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:28.639 the case of the X Men, just this randomly occurring 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.080 genetic mutation. These mutations can manifest in all kinds of 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:35.200 different ways, you know. It could be like telekinesis, ice powers, 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.560 healing abilities, whatever, and no one really has a say 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.840 in what they get. So the best example of what 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:43.960 a crapshoot these mutant powers can be is this villainous 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.760 character known as I Scream, And that's spelled like I 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.040 as in the organ and scream like the sound. So 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:53.040 I'm kind of curious, like, what kind of mutant power 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:55.600 do you think I Scream wound up with? Yeah, I mean, 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:57.800 based on his name, maybe he can shoot like a 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:00.840 concussive sound waves from his eye is or something like that. 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:04.240 I'm imagining this is like this super intense there, like 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:07.400 he can stare so intensely that his foes just run 0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:10.879 away screaming and tear. That's got to be what it is, right, 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.600 So I didn't tell you there was gonna be a quiz. 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:16.040 I think you both provided excellent answers, but but you're 0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:19.320 both wrong. What this guy can actually do is turn 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:24.679 his body into ice cream. It honestly makes no sense because, 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.680 like I, Scream is a mutant who discovered an early 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:30.480 age that he was gifted with the power to turn 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.240 into any flavor of ice cream that he wanted. And 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.680 as you might imagine, that was pretty underwhelming, especially compared 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:38.480 to like all the things that other mutants could do. 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.800 So ice Cream kind of grew up with this chip 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:43.720 on his shoulder and and one day he wanted to 0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:46.640 get revenge on, you know, more of the high profile 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:49.399 show off mutants in the X Men world. So this 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:51.480 is what he did. He waited until one of the 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:53.679 X Men had a birthday, and then on the day 0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:55.479 of the party, he managed to sneak into the mansion 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:58.600 where they lived by disguising himself as a massive tub 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:02.200 of banana split ice scream. I mean, it's a truly 0:21:02.280 --> 0:21:06.080 full proof plan. I feel like, yeah, that's what That's 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:09.399 what ice Cream thought too, except that the X Men's 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:12.080 telepaths caught onto the scheme pretty quickly and the team 0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:14.000 was able to shut the intruder down without much of 0:21:14.000 --> 0:21:16.200 a fuss. And you might be wondering, like how they 0:21:16.240 --> 0:21:18.640 do it. They just lowered the temperature in the room 0:21:18.680 --> 0:21:20.920 where ice Cream was hiding, and pretty pretty soon the 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.560 villain was frozen into a solid block of ice cream 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:28.280 and couldn't change back into his human form. That seriously 0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:31.960 might be the most humiliating defeat in comic history. And 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:35.119 that's saying something. Yeah, I mean, the weird thing is 0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:38.200 like things actually get worse from for for ice cream 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.520 from there, like, the X Men hired a clown for 0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:43.720 the birthday party that day, and after helping the team 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:46.080 defeat their intruder, the clown actually got to keep the 0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:49.399 frozen ice cream as payment. And since ice Cream hasn't 0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:51.840 been seen or heard from since, you can probably imagine 0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:55.119 what happened to him next. Wow, this is kind of 0:21:55.119 --> 0:21:56.760 a hot take, but I'm just gonna say it. He 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:58.800