1
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 1: Welcome to Part Time Genius, the production of I Heart Radio.

2
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: I guess what, Mango? What's that? Well? All right, So

3
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,880
Speaker 1: one thing I love about comics is all the captains.

4
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,280
Speaker 1: What do you mean captain's you know, like Captain America,

5
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,840
Speaker 1: Captain Marvel, Captain Planet, And of course I have to

6
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:28,080
Speaker 1: save the best for last, Captain Caveman of Captain Caveman.

7
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,160
Speaker 1: But this week I came across one that I bet

8
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 1: you've actually never heard of, Captain Tutsie. If you heard

9
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,200
Speaker 1: of Captain Tutsie before, I have no idea who Captain

10
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 1: Tutsi is. Alright, So Captain Tutsie was a superhero debuted

11
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: in nineteen forty three during what's known as the Golden

12
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,159
Speaker 1: Age of comics. But Captain Tutsie does not feel like

13
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,080
Speaker 1: he should have come from this Golden age. Actually, why

14
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,280
Speaker 1: is that? Well? For starters, Captain Tutsie was created explicitly

15
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,520
Speaker 1: to sell Tutsie rolls. So chances are if you bought

16
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,240
Speaker 1: a comic between nineteen forty three and the early nineteen fifties,

17
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,400
Speaker 1: it probably included a one page comic ad in which

18
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,160
Speaker 1: Captain Tutsie would perform all kinds of daring deeds like

19
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,640
Speaker 1: rescuing a pilot of a crashing plane or taking down

20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,040
Speaker 1: a bear with a sniper rifle, you know, all those

21
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:16,120
Speaker 1: amazing things. But the Captain didn't go on these missions alone.

22
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,760
Speaker 1: He always brought his secret legion with him. So who's

23
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,400
Speaker 1: in the secret legion? You know, it's it's an intimidating crew.

24
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,840
Speaker 1: It's three eight year old boys named Rollo, fats So,

25
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:31,240
Speaker 1: and Fisty, and all of them ate a lot of

26
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,360
Speaker 1: Tutsie rolls, you know, to kind of help them get

27
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,560
Speaker 1: the job done. It just makes sense, and so anytime

28
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 1: danger reared its ugly head, the Captain would just reach

29
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 1: into his bag, pull out some energy packed tutsie rolls,

30
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,800
Speaker 1: and they'd all power up for the challenge, you know,

31
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,120
Speaker 1: which sounds like a delicious way to deal with the situation.

32
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,600
Speaker 1: So what happened to Captain Tutsie Well, I mean, I

33
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,480
Speaker 1: know what you're thinking. You would you would imagine that

34
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,200
Speaker 1: this sugar fueled bear fighting superhero would just stick around

35
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,400
Speaker 1: for ages. But by nineteen fifty, for some reason, the

36
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,800
Speaker 1: company this idea he should hang up his shoulder bag

37
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,200
Speaker 1: of candy for good. And by that time, other genres

38
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,200
Speaker 1: like science fiction and Western's had all really taken off.

39
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,560
Speaker 1: So I love the idea that people used to love

40
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,079
Speaker 1: to read about adults fighting crime with eight year olds.

41
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,679
Speaker 1: But then, but then science fiction put that genre out

42
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 1: of business. Yeah, it's it's weird, but if nothing else,

43
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,679
Speaker 1: the Captain is a good reminder that not all superheroes

44
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,840
Speaker 1: are created equal. There are plenty of duds in the mix,

45
00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:27,880
Speaker 1: and those are the ones we want to shine a

46
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,960
Speaker 1: spotlight on today. All the characters who have been saddled

47
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 1: with useless superpowers silly motivations are just unfortunate fashion choices

48
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,560
Speaker 1: over the years. In other words, nine oddball comic book

49
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 1: characters they'll probably never make a movie about, So let's

50
00:02:42,960 --> 00:03:07,760
Speaker 1: dive ina. Hey there, podcast listeners, Welcome to Part Time Genius.

51
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,040
Speaker 1: I'm Will Pearson, and as always I'm joined by my

52
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,560
Speaker 1: good friend Manges Ticketer and on the other side of

53
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,239
Speaker 1: the soundproof glass delicately working the knobs with these giant

54
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,240
Speaker 1: green whole cans. It's been a while since I've seen

55
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,400
Speaker 1: these things, but our producer Lowell has dusted them off

56
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,760
Speaker 1: and he is going at it. I imagine it's kind

57
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,639
Speaker 1: of hard to get the volumes just right when you're

58
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,320
Speaker 1: smashing the boards with those whole cans. But we do

59
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,840
Speaker 1: appreciate the effort Lole, you know. And after a long hiatus,

60
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:36,720
Speaker 1: joining us once again on the phone, our researcher Gabe Bluesier. Hey,

61
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,320
Speaker 1: they're Gabe. Hey, guys, it's great to be back behind

62
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,120
Speaker 1: the mike. Thanks for having me, Gab. I'm so excited

63
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,760
Speaker 1: to have you here because I know it is your

64
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,880
Speaker 1: birthday this weekend. So normally when I washed my hands

65
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,400
Speaker 1: now for twenty seconds, I I sing that outcast song

66
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: I'm Sorry Miss Jackson to myself, just the chorus. If

67
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,160
Speaker 1: you do it twice, you're good. But this weekend I

68
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,720
Speaker 1: sang just for you, happy birthday to Gabe when I

69
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,120
Speaker 1: was washing my hands, So I like you should feel honored.

70
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 1: But but how is your quarantine going? So far? So good?

71
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 1: You know, staying indoors quite a lot. I'm thankful for

72
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,600
Speaker 1: this opportunity to talk to people outside of the house

73
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,520
Speaker 1: for a change. And well, how's life in in Birmingham.

74
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,600
Speaker 1: You know, we're we're hanging in there day week two

75
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,960
Speaker 1: of of home schooling slash trying to get some work done.

76
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,240
Speaker 1: But yeah, it is, like Gabe said, it's really nice

77
00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:28,080
Speaker 1: to connect with the outside world. And since Gabe is

78
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,120
Speaker 1: the guest and it was his birthday, I feel like

79
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,240
Speaker 1: he should kick this off. And and actually, Gabe, you

80
00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:37,120
Speaker 1: actually know a lot about comics. No, no offense, Mango,

81
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,200
Speaker 1: but I feel like we're just kind of kind of

82
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,440
Speaker 1: pretending here. Absolutely all right, So here's my first pick.

83
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,800
Speaker 1: I want to talk about a nineteen forties crime fighter

84
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,840
Speaker 1: known as the Red Bee. So the Red b is

85
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,359
Speaker 1: actually don't tell anyone, but his secret identity is Rick Raley.

86
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,400
Speaker 1: He's an assistant district attorney who kind of got tired

87
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,599
Speaker 1: of seeing criminals, you know, set free on technic plities,

88
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,280
Speaker 1: so he decided to take justice into his own hands.

89
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 1: Of course, the way he chose to do this is

90
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,080
Speaker 1: a little bit strange. He put on a yellow and

91
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,120
Speaker 1: red stripey costume, of course, and he charged into battle

92
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 1: with an actual b as his side. And I mean,

93
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,120
Speaker 1: you you gotta remember this was back in the early

94
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,039
Speaker 1: days of superhero comics. The characters they, you know, mostly

95
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,120
Speaker 1: took the form of kind of like pulp vigilantes, like

96
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,120
Speaker 1: the Shadow or something like that. So they may have

97
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 1: worn colorful costumes, but they fought largely with their wits

98
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 1: and their fists, and uh, you know, they only had

99
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,560
Speaker 1: a slight edge over the mob bosses and the crooked

100
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,159
Speaker 1: politicians that they were squaring off against. There were no

101
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:48,520
Speaker 1: you know, superpowered supervillains. And in the Red Bees case,

102
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 1: his special edge was Michael. And Michael was a trained

103
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,640
Speaker 1: be that lived in a secret compartment inside of his

104
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,120
Speaker 1: owner's belt buckle, and uh, you know, he could be

105
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,000
Speaker 1: unleashed on unsuspecting foes, you know, whenever he was needed.

106
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,400
Speaker 1: So first off, I just love that this killer bee

107
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 1: is named Michael, Like it is so vanilla and killer

108
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,559
Speaker 1: Mike was right there for the taking. But also bees

109
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,080
Speaker 1: can only sting once before they die, right, so Michael

110
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,000
Speaker 1: can't be that much of a help. Well to that,

111
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,720
Speaker 1: I say, how dare you? You have obviously never met

112
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,520
Speaker 1: a b like Michael, because unlike your average be, Michael

113
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,640
Speaker 1: could sting really as much as he wanted without dying.

114
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,560
Speaker 1: But that said, you know, you're right, a single bee

115
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,080
Speaker 1: isn't all that much of a threat, even one that

116
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,640
Speaker 1: can kind of sting with impunity. That is, you know,

117
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,920
Speaker 1: unless the criminal is allergic to be stings. But uh,

118
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,479
Speaker 1: in later stories the Red Bee he actually upped his

119
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,040
Speaker 1: game by stuffing an entire swarm of specially trained bees

120
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,000
Speaker 1: into his belt buckle to kind of keep Michael company.

121
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,560
Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, guys, but that's my

122
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,440
Speaker 1: kind of hero. I love that. It's so ridiculous. So

123
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,599
Speaker 1: there have been a few different superheroes named Black Condor

124
00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,800
Speaker 1: over the years, but the original character from is the best,

125
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,040
Speaker 1: and it's all because of his backstory. So here's how

126
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,240
Speaker 1: it goes. Uh, there's this archaeologist named Richard Gray. He

127
00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:10,800
Speaker 1: goes on this dangerous expedition to Mongolia, and uh he

128
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,840
Speaker 1: decides to bring his wife an infant along, and sometime later,

129
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,720
Speaker 1: tragedy strikes. The couple is attacked and killed by a

130
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,240
Speaker 1: group of raiders. Uh and the baby, Richard Gray Jr. Survives,

131
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 1: but he obviously has no way offending for himself. But

132
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,120
Speaker 1: as luck would have it, a flock of highly intelligent

133
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,160
Speaker 1: Condors comes along at just the right time, and they

134
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,360
Speaker 1: take pity on the boy and decide to adopt him

135
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,800
Speaker 1: and raise him as one of their own. So, you know,

136
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,200
Speaker 1: Gray doesn't fit nicely into this avian family at first,

137
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,880
Speaker 1: but over the years, he actually teaches himself to fly

138
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,160
Speaker 1: like the condors who raised him, and that's the origin.

139
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,200
Speaker 1: But what's weird about it is he doesn't get packed

140
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,160
Speaker 1: by a magic condor. He he isn't struck by a meteor. Right,

141
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,800
Speaker 1: He doesn't do anything supernatural. He doesn't wear a jet

142
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 1: pack or a wingsuit. He just straight up flies around

143
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 1: like a bird. And it's all because he just decides

144
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,800
Speaker 1: to And that I think what makes this so stupid.

145
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 1: As the first issue explains, like, he simply quote puts

146
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,560
Speaker 1: his keen mind to the task of studying the movements

147
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,080
Speaker 1: of wings, the body motions, air currents, balance, and levitation,

148
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,560
Speaker 1: and after some studying, quote, his determination was rewarded by success.

149
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,360
Speaker 1: So he's probably wondering, like, how does an orphan who

150
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,480
Speaker 1: learns to fly from condors get the name Black Condor? Right,

151
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,240
Speaker 1: human who later takes him in He teaches him to

152
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 1: become human and read and speak and all that, and

153
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,800
Speaker 1: he gives him the name Condor because he was raised

154
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:35,120
Speaker 1: by birds and Black Condor because he has black hair. Okay,

155
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,320
Speaker 1: that's not quite where I thought that was going. But also,

156
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,840
Speaker 1: I mean, does this guy even count as a superhero?

157
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,880
Speaker 1: Like it sounds like he's just flying around doing bird stuff.

158
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,280
Speaker 1: Once Black Condor gets up to speed, like on the

159
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: human world. He eventually migrates to America, where I guess

160
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,040
Speaker 1: all the crime is assumes the identity of a U. S.

161
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:59,720
Speaker 1: Senator who has just died, which is such an elaborate story.

162
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 1: But from that point on he starts leading a new

163
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 1: double life politician by day and bird vigilante by night,

164
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,880
Speaker 1: which is pretty great. God, that's just so so amazing.

165
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 1: All right, Well, here's another weird Golden Age comic character.

166
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,280
Speaker 1: This is Victoria Murdoch. But unlike the Red Bee and

167
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,520
Speaker 1: the Black Condor whatever, Victoria was a supervillain who went

168
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,319
Speaker 1: by the name Asbestos Lady, and that just sounds so scary.

169
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,480
Speaker 1: But Victoria was a brilliant chemist gone mad, and she

170
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,080
Speaker 1: used her knowledge of asbestos to create this fireproof suit

171
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,520
Speaker 1: for herself, which she then used to carry out a

172
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:37,040
Speaker 1: series of arson based robberies. I mean, it's a dated

173
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,640
Speaker 1: idea now, because asbestos will get you crazy sick, obviously,

174
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 1: but her m O was to use a flamethrower to

175
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,600
Speaker 1: create this wall of fire around the bank, and then

176
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,800
Speaker 1: with the police held at bay, she would rob the

177
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: place inside her asbestos lined suit. So she eventually became

178
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,720
Speaker 1: a recurring arch nemesis for the human Torch, whom she

179
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,719
Speaker 1: fought using the special asbestos bullets that she designed just

180
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,920
Speaker 1: for him. I mean, she must have been like super smart,

181
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,760
Speaker 1: knowing how to do all this stuff. But of course,

182
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 1: if you know anything about asbestos, you know that draping

183
00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:11,760
Speaker 1: your body and the stuff is not particularly safe. But

184
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,920
Speaker 1: in ninety seven, asbestos was viewed as this miracle material

185
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,360
Speaker 1: and it was the go to choice for fireproofing, popping

186
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,240
Speaker 1: up in everything from roof insilation to firefighter uniforms. So

187
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,120
Speaker 1: Victoria Murdoch spent nearly two decades in this asbestos suit

188
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,560
Speaker 1: when weirdly, science caught up with the storyline, and it

189
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,080
Speaker 1: is sad to say that it's a case of art

190
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,240
Speaker 1: mirroring science. It was later revealed that she had succumbed

191
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:43,920
Speaker 1: to mesothelioma. Dark dark, Oh my gosh. All right, well,

192
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,280
Speaker 1: here's something I never would have guessed before this week.

193
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:50,320
Speaker 1: The first ever cross dressing superhero was a character named

194
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:54,480
Speaker 1: Madam Fatal, and they were created way back in ninett

195
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,920
Speaker 1: of course, you know that said the depiction is about

196
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,679
Speaker 1: his nuanced and thoughtful, as you might expect given that era,

197
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 1: and you know, the character was never meant to explore

198
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,040
Speaker 1: gender expression or anything weighty like that, but it's it's

199
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,560
Speaker 1: still pretty amazing that this happened at all, right, Like

200
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,080
Speaker 1: I mean, for all kinds of reasons. And you know,

201
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 1: once I explained this, you're you're gonna see what I mean.

202
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,320
Speaker 1: So here's how the story went down. A young girl

203
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 1: in Manhattan gets kidnapped from her father, who's a wealthy

204
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,600
Speaker 1: actor named Richard Stanton. Stanton decides to kind of put

205
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,959
Speaker 1: his talents as an actor to use in order to

206
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,960
Speaker 1: get his daughter back. So he goes undercover and he

207
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,319
Speaker 1: infiltrates the gang that took her. But here's the thing.

208
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,560
Speaker 1: Stanton decides that, for some unknown reason, the best way

209
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,360
Speaker 1: for him to gain access to this shady criminal underworld

210
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,280
Speaker 1: is by dressing up as an elderly woman with a

211
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:50,120
Speaker 1: cane and introducing himself as Madam Fatal. It's, you know,

212
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 1: an unusual choice that's never really explained in the story. Um,

213
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,880
Speaker 1: you know, Stanton is a good fighter, he's a master

214
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,080
Speaker 1: of disguise, so it didn't really have to be the

215
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,360
Speaker 1: old lady. You know, he didn't have to go that route.

216
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,320
Speaker 1: But you know, whatever works, I guess, and h in

217
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 1: the end, it helped Stanton get his daughter back. So

218
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,920
Speaker 1: you know, that basically means that Adam Fatal is kind

219
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,480
Speaker 1: of like the Mrs doubt Fire of superheroes, and no question,

220
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,120
Speaker 1: you can't beat that. So now I want to talk

221
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:22,160
Speaker 1: about some characters with questionable superpowers, and uh, I'm gonna

222
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,720
Speaker 1: do that with this DC character known as Matter Eater Lad.

223
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 1: I've actually talked about matter Eater Lad before because he's

224
00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 1: kind of a favorite of mine. And the thing he

225
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 1: does is eat matter, like that's all he does, but

226
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: it's all types of matter, and uh, you name it,

227
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,480
Speaker 1: he can eat it, no problem. And while that ability

228
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 1: isn't all that helpful on the battlefield, it does come

229
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,760
Speaker 1: in handy if he's trapped somewhere because he can just

230
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,560
Speaker 1: eat his way out, or if he needs to dispose

231
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,480
Speaker 1: of a dangerous object, again he can just eat it.

232
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,920
Speaker 1: The last powers were deemed useful enough to earn him

233
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,200
Speaker 1: a spot on the Legion of Superheroes, and this was

234
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,600
Speaker 1: back in the nine sixties. I think the most modern

235
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,440
Speaker 1: aspect of matter eat the Lad's powers is that he

236
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,760
Speaker 1: is a supertaster, so not only can he eat anything,

237
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,040
Speaker 1: but he can also analyze the composition of anything he

238
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,720
Speaker 1: puts in his mouth, which makes me wonder if normal

239
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,720
Speaker 1: supertasters don't like grapefruit or cilantro or super spicy foods.

240
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 1: I wonder if that's like his kryptonite could be. I

241
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,440
Speaker 1: think the question it raises for me. The thing I'm

242
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,800
Speaker 1: more confused about is why do they call him a

243
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:27,719
Speaker 1: lad when he is clearly an adult man. That's a

244
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,240
Speaker 1: good question. Maybe he's got like a growing boys appetite.

245
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but we do have more characters

246
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:50,480
Speaker 1: to dig into right after this break, Welcome back to

247
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,160
Speaker 1: Part Time Genius. We're talking about the strangest characters in

248
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,600
Speaker 1: comic book history. So just before the break, Mango introduced

249
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,720
Speaker 1: us to maybe my favorite name of superheroes today, matter

250
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,120
Speaker 1: Eater Lad, which is such a weird name, and it's

251
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,280
Speaker 1: something we're all very thankful for, I'm sure. And and

252
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,439
Speaker 1: speaking of descriptively named superheroes with absurd powers, there's no

253
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 1: way to get through this episode without talking about the

254
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,199
Speaker 1: next one. It's another classic DC hero arm fall off

255
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 1: boy that that is exactly what his name is. The

256
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 1: character made his debut in nineteen eighty nine, when he

257
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,200
Speaker 1: auditioned for a spot on the Legion of Superheroes and

258
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,200
Speaker 1: promptly got rejected for having a power that was even

259
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 1: weirder and less useful than Matter Eater Lad, whom you'll

260
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: recall did earn a spot on the team. So once again,

261
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,560
Speaker 1: it's all right there in the name, arm fall Off

262
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,680
Speaker 1: Boy has the ability to remove his arms without being harmed, so,

263
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,640
Speaker 1: for instance, any issue where he tries out for the team,

264
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,760
Speaker 1: he demonstrates his skill by pulling off his arm and

265
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 1: wielding it like a makeshift club. Now, needless to say,

266
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,240
Speaker 1: this fails to impress the legionnaires, who quickly brush him

267
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,720
Speaker 1: off with a polite no thank you. But apparently the

268
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,720
Speaker 1: arm fall Off Boy was deterred by the rejection because

269
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 1: he actually returns a few years later, this time going

270
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 1: by the decidedly cooler name Splitter. I don't know, I

271
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,040
Speaker 1: kind of like arm fall Off Boy, but unfortunately the

272
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,800
Speaker 1: Legions sees through the rebranding and rejects the poor guy

273
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 1: for a second time. Yeah, that's rough. I think we

274
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,120
Speaker 1: can all agree the new name was a big improvement, though, right,

275
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,280
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, I guess, if we're being honest,

276
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 1: it was just so stupid before that. It it almost

277
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,040
Speaker 1: seemed worth it, and arm fall off Boy is just

278
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,640
Speaker 1: inaccurate on all counts. I mean, first off, according to

279
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 1: the comic, all of his limbs can be removed, legs included. Secondly,

280
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 1: his limbs don't just fall off on their own. He

281
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 1: actually has to pull them off if he needs to

282
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 1: improvise a weapon. And Lastly, I mean, this is how

283
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 1: much I've analyzed this game. Judging from how beefy he

284
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: looks in the artwork, this guy is no more a

285
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,760
Speaker 1: boy than you know, Mad Eater Lad was a lad.

286
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 1: So it's a stunningly off based name. And now now

287
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,000
Speaker 1: I'm talking about this, I'm actually starting to get worked

288
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 1: up about his eye. Sound angry, Yeah, that's wrong. I

289
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,560
Speaker 1: mean the weirdest part to me is that the whole

290
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 1: limb removing power is just so underwhelming, right, Like, why

291
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 1: would you want that power at least with matterader Lad,

292
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,560
Speaker 1: Like maybe you can win the Coney Island Hot Dog

293
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,240
Speaker 1: Eating contest or you know, something like that, But if

294
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,080
Speaker 1: you're going to rip off your arm to use it

295
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,760
Speaker 1: like a club, why not just carry a club? Yet,

296
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 1: It's like this guy has absolutely no access to anything else,

297
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 1: and it's almost it's like would an arm really be

298
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 1: that great of a club to use, just like Fleshy

299
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 1: and everything, not even all that horror. But I guess

300
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 1: it sounds like we all agree the Legion of Superheroes

301
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 1: probably made the right call on rejecting him. Yeah both times. Actually,

302
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 1: all right, So my next pick is a Marvel character

303
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 1: from the nineteen seventies named three D Man, and he's

304
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 1: another case where the concept itself is interesting, like it's

305
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 1: pretty cool, but the usefulness of his powers, that's that's

306
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 1: the part that's lacking. So for starters, his powers really

307
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,120
Speaker 1: don't have anything to do with three D at all,

308
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,639
Speaker 1: which makes sense because you know humans already see in

309
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,880
Speaker 1: three D. Anyway, that part didn't stop the character from

310
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,040
Speaker 1: sporting a red and green costume, complete with his own

311
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 1: pair of three D glasses, which are actually very bad

312
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 1: for your eyes. And when it comes to his origin story, well,

313
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,159
Speaker 1: I mean, it's honestly just as out there as his

314
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 1: name in costume. So here's how it went down. Before

315
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:29,439
Speaker 1: becoming three D Man, Chuck Handler was a test pilot

316
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,440
Speaker 1: for NASA who was abducted by an alien race called

317
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 1: the Scrolls. And while Chuck did manage to escape his captors,

318
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: he was caught in an explosion in the process, and

319
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:44,360
Speaker 1: the resulting radiation vaporized him instantly. It sounds like that's

320
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,640
Speaker 1: the end of the story, but this is actually where

321
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: things get weird. Because Chuck's brother, How he watched this

322
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: whole event unfold and his Chuck was being vaporized, two

323
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:58,399
Speaker 1: images of him were imprinted on his brother's glasses, you

324
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 1: follow it. So, as it turned out, when How concentrated

325
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 1: really hard on those two D images of his brother,

326
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: he could trigger a dimensional shift that would cause How

327
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 1: to reappear as three D Manah, And that is, of

328
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 1: course a superhero with strength, speed, and reflexes equal to

329
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,639
Speaker 1: that of you guessed it, three human beings in peak

330
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 1: physical shape like the three of us basically. But there

331
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,600
Speaker 1: was a catch to all this. Whenever three D Man

332
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 1: was summoned, How Handler's body would just kind of slip

333
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,639
Speaker 1: into a comatose state, you know, even as his mind

334
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 1: remained aware of his brother's actions due to this uh

335
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 1: psychic link between them. So it was kind of a

336
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 1: raw deal for How He's just sort of laying there

337
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 1: on the ground while all this is happening. But I

338
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 1: guess at least he got to see his brother again,

339
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, so long as he never lost

340
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 1: those classes. I feel like I honestly heard everything you said,

341
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: and I have no idea how his words go together

342
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 1: to make a story. But uh, but I have a

343
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,440
Speaker 1: pretty good character to close this out. So first though,

344
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 1: I thought it might help to give our listeners a

345
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 1: quick refresher on the nature of superpowers. So in the

346
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,199
Speaker 1: Marvel universe, for example, like superpowers can come from just

347
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 1: about anywhere, right Like, it could be like a spider bite,

348
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 1: a seramon lab, a gift from the gods, or, in

349
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 1: the case of the X Men, just this randomly occurring

350
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: genetic mutation. These mutations can manifest in all kinds of

351
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 1: different ways, you know. It could be like telekinesis, ice powers,

352
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 1: healing abilities, whatever, and no one really has a say

353
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 1: in what they get. So the best example of what

354
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 1: a crapshoot these mutant powers can be is this villainous

355
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 1: character known as I Scream, And that's spelled like I

356
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 1: as in the organ and scream like the sound. So

357
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm kind of curious, like, what kind of mutant power

358
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: do you think I Scream wound up with? Yeah, I mean,

359
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 1: based on his name, maybe he can shoot like a

360
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 1: concussive sound waves from his eye is or something like that.

361
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: I'm imagining this is like this super intense there, like

362
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 1: he can stare so intensely that his foes just run

363
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 1: away screaming and tear. That's got to be what it is, right,

364
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: So I didn't tell you there was gonna be a quiz.

365
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: I think you both provided excellent answers, but but you're

366
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: both wrong. What this guy can actually do is turn

367
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:24,679
Speaker 1: his body into ice cream. It honestly makes no sense because,

368
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 1: like I, Scream is a mutant who discovered an early

369
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 1: age that he was gifted with the power to turn

370
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 1: into any flavor of ice cream that he wanted. And

371
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 1: as you might imagine, that was pretty underwhelming, especially compared

372
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: to like all the things that other mutants could do.

373
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: So ice Cream kind of grew up with this chip

374
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 1: on his shoulder and and one day he wanted to

375
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: get revenge on, you know, more of the high profile

376
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 1: show off mutants in the X Men world. So this

377
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: is what he did. He waited until one of the

378
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 1: X Men had a birthday, and then on the day

379
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,479
Speaker 1: of the party, he managed to sneak into the mansion

380
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: where they lived by disguising himself as a massive tub

381
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 1: of banana split ice scream. I mean, it's a truly

382
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 1: full proof plan. I feel like, yeah, that's what That's

383
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,399
Speaker 1: what ice Cream thought too, except that the X Men's

384
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: telepaths caught onto the scheme pretty quickly and the team

385
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: was able to shut the intruder down without much of

386
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 1: a fuss. And you might be wondering, like how they

387
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 1: do it. They just lowered the temperature in the room

388
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: where ice Cream was hiding, and pretty pretty soon the

389
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 1: villain was frozen into a solid block of ice cream

390
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: and couldn't change back into his human form. That seriously

391
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: might be the most humiliating defeat in comic history. And

392
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: that's saying something. Yeah, I mean, the weird thing is

393
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: like things actually get worse from for for ice cream

394
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 1: from there, like, the X Men hired a clown for

395
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: the birthday party that day, and after helping the team

396
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 1: defeat their intruder, the clown actually got to keep the

397
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 1: frozen ice cream as payment. And since ice Cream hasn't

398
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: been seen or heard from since, you can probably imagine

399
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 1: what happened to him next. Wow, this is kind of

400
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 1: a hot take, but I'm just gonna say it. He

401
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: had it coming, if for no other reason than he

402
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: spells his name in such deliberately misleading way. Being eaten

403
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 1: by a clown, it seems like a just punishment for that. Yeah,

404
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're not a judge, although I do

405
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 1: guess you have a say. And who wins the trophy today?

406
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: And and and I'm leaning towards Mango taking it? But

407
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 1: but what do you think, Gabe? Yeah, it's got to

408
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 1: be him. I mean, Black Condor, Matter Eater Lad and

409
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: now ice Cream. That that is a trifecta of truly

410
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: terrible superheroes. I badly want to see a team up

411
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: movie with those three, and for that, I think the

412
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: trophy is yours, Mango. I don't think anyone wants to

413
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: see a movie of the three. But thank you so much,

414
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: and it's an honor um I will say. That's it

415
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: for today's Part Time Genius from Will gave Lola myself.

416
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,479
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, and take care of

417
00:22:46,480 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 1: yourselves out there. M Part Time Genius is a production

418
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,

419
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

420
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite show h