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Speaker 1: He's a sexy sexy man, sexy sexy plan because he

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Speaker 1: ain't no stuck us looking so funny. You try like

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Speaker 1: a drucker, clean like a plank, you the solid jucker

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Speaker 1: fool wheel, try so we never get a guy right

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Speaker 1: so far to get up a lot of band wins.

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Speaker 1: And he's a god y he ain't no stand and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't have chs on a nighttime stand, which because

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Speaker 1: everybody knows he's the Fergens. He banded The Ron Burgundy

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Speaker 1: Podcast Live from Lago and Holley Rod, California. Put your

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Speaker 1: hat chuck out of a round fag. Thank you, thank you. Wait,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, wow that is ah. That is like

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Speaker 1: rocket fuel for me. I haven't been around people for

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Speaker 1: a long time. Thank you for coming out. It's just

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Speaker 1: amazing to be here and you're all masked up and

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Speaker 1: we really appreciate it. I can still see your beautiful eyes.

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Speaker 1: I mentioned this the other night. I prefer it. I

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Speaker 1: don't need to know what's below here. All I need

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Speaker 1: just give me those peoples. Carolina, you look so lovely tonight.

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Speaker 1: You really do. I notice you really up your game

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Speaker 1: once we're get in front of people. No, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean it that. I mean yeah, I'm I

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Speaker 1: just put makeup because we're doing a show. That's okay? Yes,

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Speaker 1: is that a new week? No? This is my hand,

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Speaker 1: that's your real hair. Yeah. We've known each other for

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Speaker 1: how long now? And I always thought you were a wig.

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Speaker 1: You learned something new every day, don't you. I just

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Speaker 1: want to thank everyone for coming out. The ticket sales

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Speaker 1: um are raising money for International Rescue Committee, which is

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Speaker 1: helping families in the Ukraine. So don't worry. I'll get

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Speaker 1: my take somehow. No, it's old Ronnie always needs to

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Speaker 1: dip his beak, and uh it will get dipped. Some

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Speaker 1: of the proceeds are going over to the Gentleman's Club

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Speaker 1: Sin across the street. Um, let's let's not leave that out.

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Speaker 1: How often you got to send? Um? Well, I'll be

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Speaker 1: there right after the show tonight, and I'm only there

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Speaker 1: four days a week, and I take a lot of

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Speaker 1: lunch meetings, so ours probably out of we'll have multiple

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Speaker 1: lunche meetings. Yes, three hour block. Have my table right

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Speaker 1: over in the corner, and uh order the prime rib

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Speaker 1: h horshish, dream spinach. You gotta have dream spinach. Um, Oh,

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Speaker 1: what are what are the puffy potatoes? Um, yes, thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's why she always looks at me so weird. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: give me a puffy potato with chives and sour cream.

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Speaker 1: It's a fake baked potato. And it's called that because

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Speaker 1: they put it in the oven. They bake it right,

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Speaker 1: baked potato. I might do a baked potato at home

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Speaker 1: one of these days. You you should, so you just

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Speaker 1: jam your oven full of potatoes. No, no, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to like, don't. Probably should pack as many potatoes

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Speaker 1: as you can get in there, because then you're done

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Speaker 1: for like a month. Or would that be considered a

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Speaker 1: fire ahead Arson? Yeah? Maybe we don't know. That's you

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Speaker 1: know what, that's what's fascinating. I'm I'm I was about

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Speaker 1: to say, I'm really intrigued by people who can study Arson.

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Speaker 1: You know, Arson is is where where it came. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not in favor of. But when there is a

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Speaker 1: fire somewhere in the fire department shows up and they

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Speaker 1: have like the friends like Specialist who are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: someone made this fire. Nine times out of ten, it's

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Speaker 1: an oven jammed with baked potatoes. Arsonist signature. That's a

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Speaker 1: signature move they open up oven. But Arson, it was Arson.

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Speaker 1: It is good to be It's really great to be

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Speaker 1: here in a theater in front of people, and I'm just, uh,

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Speaker 1: does it feel all right to be in a group? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I was thinking maybe we could do some icebreakers, just

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Speaker 1: in case. You know, you're you're feeling strange sitting next

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Speaker 1: to each other. So raise your hand if you've okay,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter. Most of you are shrouded in darkness,

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Speaker 1: so it's not just just have fun. Play a look, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: raise your hand if you've if you've ever cheated on

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Speaker 1: a test, yeah, great school. Whoa a bunch of dirty cheaters?

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Speaker 1: And raise your hand. If you've ever played hooky? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, little blue flue for some of the cops

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Speaker 1: in here, right, we usually have of our audience are

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Speaker 1: our officers of the LAWE Okay, here's a here's a

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Speaker 1: spicy one. Rais ahead. I have you ever made out

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Speaker 1: in a movie theater? Okay, you're gissing your hand. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's okay. Now raise your hand. If you've ever given uh,

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Speaker 1: some clean urine to your friend for a drug test? Anyone,

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Speaker 1: raise us show of hands. A couple over there. Okay, um, okay,

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Speaker 1: well look, just a suggestion. I'm gonna leave the Scotch

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Speaker 1: classed right here on the end of my table here,

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Speaker 1: And if anyone is full of urine in the next hour,

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Speaker 1: and it happens to be clean and you're feels so inspired,

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Speaker 1: just wander up onto the stage, grab the glass and

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Speaker 1: have at it. Uh if you if you feel like

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Speaker 1: it for no reason, well, I'm so sorry. What I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do when they pee in your glass, well they'll

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Speaker 1: just leave it with Flann again, the owner of this stag, Flann,

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Speaker 1: Are you good with that? And and and and I'm

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Speaker 1: so say, why do you need clean urine so badly?

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Speaker 1: Aren't you drug tested? I am, but I I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing any illegal drugs. Are you doing any illegal drugs?

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Speaker 1: I'm not. No, I'm not doing. Don't you This feels weird,

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Speaker 1: It feels awkward, but you're making it all because it was.

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Speaker 1: It was so fine. And all I did. We were

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Speaker 1: playing a fun game. It was called Icebreakers, and I

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Speaker 1: just happened to land on my last one. They're all

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Speaker 1: randomly selected randomly, and I just said, here's a fun

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Speaker 1: one off the top of my head. That I wrote

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Speaker 1: down on a card. Uh, does anyone want a peanut

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Speaker 1: glass and call her today and we'll just keep it

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Speaker 1: up by the bar and we'll just you know, we'll market.

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Speaker 1: But the Scotch tape this says clean urine. Please save

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Speaker 1: for someone who was involved in tonight's show initials r B.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing going on. You just don't know when you

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Speaker 1: might need a small supply of clean urine. Case closed.

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Speaker 1: I'm you know what, we don't have to worry about it.

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Speaker 1: By the way, with the new travel regulations, they're they're

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Speaker 1: checking you have to wear a mask to fly a

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Speaker 1: prison vaccination and you have to have a small amount

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Speaker 1: of clean earine. So I'm just I'm going to Bermuda

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Speaker 1: next week and I just want to have enough clean eurine.

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Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with that, I guess. Well. We actually, before

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Speaker 1: we get on the their show, we have some listeners

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Speaker 1: who wrote in these beautiful letters. And actually one of

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Speaker 1: them comes from this young sweet boy named Nathaniel, and

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Speaker 1: he wrote in the cutest letter about how he looked

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Speaker 1: you're joining yourself. Yeah, okay, right, you don't have to,

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Speaker 1: don't have to. Don't put it close to if I

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Speaker 1: get doesn't sound good, okay enough, And I've been so sorry.

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. This is beautiful, this is incredible. Who

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Speaker 1: booked the mariachi band? I think you guys are in

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Speaker 1: the wrong place. I'm so sorry because that was amazing.

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Speaker 1: That was amazing. Who booked a mariachi That's so weird

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Speaker 1: because we had a breakdown of the show that was

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Speaker 1: time to the minute, and I said, I know who

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Speaker 1: booked a mariachi band? Who would have done that? I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know either. I didn't, did you know?

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Speaker 1: I didn't. It was so week. Maybe you ran up

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Speaker 1: there grabbed at trump Well, no, I was kind of

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Speaker 1: panicked because I've always heard if you're ever in this

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Speaker 1: same public space with a mariachi band and there is

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Speaker 1: a trumpet or some sort of woodwind instrument close by,

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Speaker 1: grab it and start playing, just to be a part

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Speaker 1: of the group. Contain. Contain who saw that flugel horn

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Speaker 1: over there right beautiful? That centuries horn, antique, Civil War gorgeous?

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Speaker 1: And I tried to I tried. You played your heart out.

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Speaker 1: I played my heart out. Not a lot of sound

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Speaker 1: came out of the horn. A lot of sound came

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Speaker 1: out like right here, and was like air and I've

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Speaker 1: never played it before. Sorry, I don't know. I assumed

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Speaker 1: you would. You guys, we have phrases of the day

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Speaker 1: here and if anything else like that happens, I just

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Speaker 1: hope you guys can join me and just saying we've

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Speaker 1: spent three hours on what did you just say? What? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Cool it, bro? Maybe a little more like confrontational cool bro?

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Speaker 1: You cool it all right? I said to me, Mark,

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Speaker 1: you love a tuss all. I still have long haul.

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Speaker 1: Um very forgetful. I literally forget moments like that. I

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Speaker 1: didn't remember in that split second that you would already

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Speaker 1: instructed the audience to say cool it, bro, And then

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Speaker 1: when you did it again, I thought they were they

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Speaker 1: were coming at me. Well we you said you had

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Speaker 1: some headlines. But you know what's cured long haul clean urine.

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Speaker 1: It's not real quick. I just want to circle. Um.

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Speaker 1: I found this great little gourmet restaurant. You're a big foodie,

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Speaker 1: aren't you. Do you have any foodies here? People love?

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Speaker 1: I mean, l A has become such a food scene, right.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you've heard of this place called

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Speaker 1: House of Pies. Oh you have, I didn't know. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's a little hole in the wall place. I just

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Speaker 1: stumbled across it, and they've got all these pies fresh

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Speaker 1: strawberry cream seasonal. It is, yes, sweet ripe strawberry covering

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Speaker 1: a creamy vanilla custard filling, topped with glaze and whipped cream.

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Speaker 1: You said that you were going to read the news

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Speaker 1: headlines key lime, a burst of flavor and every bite

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Speaker 1: in everybody, give me a break. How are you gonna get?

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Speaker 1: That makes me want to get key lime and just

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Speaker 1: have a bite and go. First bite, burst of flavor,

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Speaker 1: second bite, burst of flavor. Third not so much. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: not now. Southern peakcam uh large toasted peacons blended into

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Speaker 1: our signature peacampo filing a lemon leg o, your southern

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Speaker 1: Give me a little sweet tea. Went to house of pies.

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Speaker 1: You know, I started in a community theater. Tennessee, Williams.

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Speaker 1: Is your That was my Stanley Ducci? Is he here tonight?

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Speaker 1: If by any chance Stanley stand Kowalski, Yes, yes, I

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Speaker 1: was Stanley Kowalski's brother Dave. Very experimental version of Tennessee, Williams.

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Speaker 1: What do you do with your your shoulders? Again? Looks

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Speaker 1: because it's sultry. It's a soultial night. The whole play

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Speaker 1: takes place during a sultry night. It's too hot to sleep.

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Speaker 1: So Dave would always come in with a piece of

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Speaker 1: peak campie and I would say, anyone can have a

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Speaker 1: peak CAMPI and they'd say not now, Uncle David. How

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Speaker 1: many lines that you have in the play? I had

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Speaker 1: two lines, the same line, two full first act, second act.

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Speaker 1: Brother kept on coming in. Yeah, people would just say no,

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Speaker 1: they say no, They just say not now, Uncle Dave.

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Speaker 1: Because then I was like, God, let me, let me

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Speaker 1: deliver the peak can't die. Oh my god. Cream pies,

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Speaker 1: banana chocolate, German chocolate, Bavarian chocolate, Bavaria chocolate. But what

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Speaker 1: what's going on? Wait? So you went into the House

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Speaker 1: of Pies and and had such a good time you

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Speaker 1: took two pages from their menu and just left. That's

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Speaker 1: exactly what. Well. I went to House of Pies, uh,

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Speaker 1: looking for a good piece of fried chicken, And I said,

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Speaker 1: what else have you got? And You're like, well, mostly

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Speaker 1: we have pies. Well as much as we There were

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Speaker 1: also a lot of people working on math equations. Do

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Speaker 1: you know what the numeric value of pies? Let's go Malibu, Hi, right, here.

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Speaker 1: I'm I. I stumble off at three point one four

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Speaker 1: three point one four nine seven six eight four three

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Speaker 1: nine to zero zero one for seven asterisk. That was

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Speaker 1: pretty good. That has not left my brain. But what

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Speaker 1: left your brain was me telling the audience blackout. That

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Speaker 1: shook me to my core. We do have a fun gas,

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Speaker 1: We do have a great fun. I can't wait for

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Speaker 1: you guys to be fun. We bring out our fun guess. Okay,

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Speaker 1: don't don't do it. Don't do it, hey, guys, guys please, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. That was I don't know why you

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Speaker 1: keep coming out here. No one called you to come here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yees again. That will be a

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Speaker 1: mystery as to how they showed up here. We'll never

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Speaker 1: know who called them ever, because the documents were burned.

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Speaker 1: The document there was a document was that what that

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Speaker 1: small trash fire was outside the small That was a

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Speaker 1: small trash fire which was a combination of documents and

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Speaker 1: baked potatoes. Um, heck, let's do it. Let's bring out

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Speaker 1: our guest. I am so excited for this guest. How

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Speaker 1: many of you have ever been to the circus? Who? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like three people? Oh that was a double fist pump

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Speaker 1: right there. You're like Circus is in town. Yes, I

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Speaker 1: love the circus. That's my man right there. Well we

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Speaker 1: have and I am a fan of this art form.

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Speaker 1: I I gotta tell you it is. It is pure

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Speaker 1: as it's just. Oh, I get I get giddy what

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Speaker 1: I think about it. You didn't call me yesterday say

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Speaker 1: oh my god and hung up the phone. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: I thought I couldn't even finish my thoughts. It was,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. What I was saying is Carolina, guess

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Speaker 1: what I booked as our first guest. Please welcome Gilly

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Speaker 1: the clown. You can't sorry for those of you listening

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Speaker 1: at home, Gilly just tripped him sound really hard. I

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Speaker 1: thought it had coffee all over that. Now we just

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Speaker 1: threw a Starbucks cup looking fetty all over this lady.

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Speaker 1: And she's not happy. My bad. So I may make

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Speaker 1: you balloon real quick. He's doing balloon animals. Here you go.

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Speaker 1: This is what I do. You know by the ancient Greeks,

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Speaker 1: they're so sorry about that. That stuff will wash off

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Speaker 1: the blue one. Now he's doing a Greek He's combining

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Speaker 1: the two. Guess like a caterpillar floor. I want you

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Speaker 1: to have one too, Okay, here you go. Now it's

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Speaker 1: a sword, but I want you to have some two

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Speaker 1: since you're sitting right next to him. Okay, here you go.

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Speaker 1: This is another sword for you. Okay, had another sword? Yeah? Um,

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Speaker 1: would you come over here, sir, real quick? I know

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Speaker 1: someone else did like a sword. Keep doing your act,

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Speaker 1: Keep doing your acts. Okay, look, would you here you go?

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Speaker 1: This right here? Hold out your hand please, it's an earthworm.

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Speaker 1: Okay for you those listening at home, he didn't blow

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Speaker 1: it up any ended, he called, so without further ado,

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Speaker 1: I would like to hold a race. Is that? Okay?

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do? Well, I'm just gonna have

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Speaker 1: a race real quick. Okay, did no one moves? Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's like you're on break. Okay, here we go. So

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Speaker 1: here we go. I'm gonna go ahead and roll up

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Speaker 1: this sin and once I roll up this in, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna roll up to the other end and both ends

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Speaker 1: we rolled up. Oh sorry, what are you manipulating? Right?

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Speaker 1: Sorry about this? Yeah, you can't see. N roll up

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Speaker 1: this in like this so you can see. And then okay,

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Speaker 1: oh I gotta hold it. Kevin rolled this thing like this,

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Speaker 1: and we're roll up the smoll like this. So raise

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Speaker 1: your hand. If you think the big end is gonna

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Speaker 1: win the race, raise your hand. I think the big one. Okay,

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Speaker 1: raise your hand. If you think the little one's gonna Oh,

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Speaker 1: I changed my mind. I think one like the little

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Speaker 1: Raise your hand. If you don't care at all, completely apathetic,

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Speaker 1: that's cool. I like apathetic people fans. Ok, here we go.

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Speaker 1: I'm a cat to have three down to two down

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Speaker 1: in one cat with me? When more time raising for

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Speaker 1: the big end? Raine, you don't give you heay counting down?

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Speaker 1: Here we go, count with me, three two one. It's

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Speaker 1: a tie. It's a time classic play onwards. It always

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Speaker 1: was a tie, always works. I'm gonna steal that from you,

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Speaker 1: my friend. I hope you do. I hope you did.

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Speaker 1: Mr Burgundy, Oh, hold about this whole thing, Sorry about everybody, hopeful.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, Oh you've suffered so much already. I apologize.

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Speaker 1: That's been the good thing about the mask. And sneeze

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Speaker 1: right into him, you know, no one ever knows. Just

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Speaker 1: sneeze into hank. Sneeze right in here, just kind of

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Speaker 1: make you pay with your books. Torting the handkerchief in

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Speaker 1: a certain way. Do you ever feel like, Oh, the

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Speaker 1: handkerchief is coming to life. The books are attacking him.

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Speaker 1: He's getting emotional. As for those listening at home, you're

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Speaker 1: missing one of the most beautiful things I've seen in

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Speaker 1: my life. Now, I was just gonna kip him. He's

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Speaker 1: owing sweet nothings. Oh it just smacked the bookers. Just

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Speaker 1: smacked you in the face. Yeah, it happens. I would

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Speaker 1: like to do a final sort of thing if that's okay, Well, sure,

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Speaker 1: but you're not leaving us, are you know. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: juggle two chickens and a club who As far as

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Speaker 1: I know, it has never been done before. This is good.

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Speaker 1: Here we go, give me drummer on your legs please,

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Speaker 1: he's juggling. Yes, thank you very much. Thank you. I

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Speaker 1: really appreciate that. You guys are too much. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. He squeeze my chicken. No, don't

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Speaker 1: you can squeeze it though. There you go. It's mournful

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Speaker 1: gilly there. Yes, sir, there's a lot of law enforcement

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Speaker 1: in the audience, so just let's thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 1: That was fantastic. Oh wait, what's happening? What did you do?

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna sit on the edge are you comfortable?

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Speaker 1: There we go slide into it. I wish Micey did that.

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Speaker 1: Oh I have something for you, Carolina. Oh, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little scared. Oh my gosh, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Welcome Those aren't real, just gilly. Where do you hail from? Originally? Uh? Texas?

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Speaker 1: Originally like the state. Yeah, it's okay, you'll wake the others.

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Speaker 1: Have you? Let me ask you this question? Have you

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Speaker 1: ever killed a person with laughter? Because you almost killed me?

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Speaker 1: Great question? No, I don't think I have. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Did you always want to be a clown or did

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Speaker 1: your mother make you do it? Well? It was bad grades. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then uh my mother did play a part in it,

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Speaker 1: but she she bore me. Yeah yeah, no, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: would without not really. If my mom hears that, she'd

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Speaker 1: be really upset if I said that my mom is

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Speaker 1: actually very fun. No, I'm sure. I mean, well, do

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Speaker 1: you want to meet my mom? Don't look at me.

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Speaker 1: I don't never met her. I wouldn't know if she's

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Speaker 1: fun or not. But she'd assume she is. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're you're I think she is. You're a great fun

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Speaker 1: I mean you mean fun fun? Like what do you

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Speaker 1: mean fun? Fun? They went, No, I'm not suggesting anything.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I'm sure like you seem like a

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Speaker 1: lot of fun. I'm sure your mom is is a

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Speaker 1: barrel of laughs. And uh, you know, I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: guys just sit around making a balloon swords with each

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Speaker 1: other now. But that's great. This is a personal opinion

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Speaker 1: of mine and I feel very strongly. But people who

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Speaker 1: do stand up they seem like third rate clouds. It's

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Speaker 1: like the lower echelon of clowning. Have you ever seen

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Speaker 1: a funny stand up comedian. That's a trick question, right, No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, if you have, I'd love to I'd

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Speaker 1: love to know who they are. Uh. The Encyclopedia Britannic

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00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: a guy. That guy was pretty good. I'm not familiar,

336
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: not familiar. I don't follow The guy did the commercials

337
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: back in the eighties. Is he a stand up comedian?

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Speaker 1: He was fine. So you've answered my question. There's no

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00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: funny stand up comedians. Do you do you have a

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00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: big makeup deal with maybe Lene or fenty Beauty by Rihanna?

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Speaker 1: I mean you should. I mean you're out there all

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Speaker 1: the time with makeup and you're doing your thing and

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Speaker 1: has anyone ever approached you. I would be open to

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Speaker 1: that because I think that would be like Rihanna's fenty

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Speaker 1: line of clown makeup or just regular makeup. I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: open to whatever. So you're open to that partnership? Yeah? Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: I'm sad he is great. That's good to know. Let

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Speaker 1: me write that down. Open to the Rihanna partner ship.

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Speaker 1: Carolina has nightmares about clowns. What if you sat peacefully

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Speaker 1: in the corner of her room while she slept? Don't

351
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: you think that would help? Right? She'd have to pay me, Well,

352
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: I would pay for it. Sure, I'm game. And how

353
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Speaker 1: would do you think that would take a week, a month,

354
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: a year. Well, if you worked really hard at it,

355
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: we could probably get it done in a couple of weeks.

356
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Speaker 1: Are you up for that? I couldn't. I couldn't have

357
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Speaker 1: Gilly just he's just sitting staring at you. He's not

358
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Speaker 1: blinking the entire night. Yes, okay, thank you, that right there. No,

359
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: try to sleep right now, Okay, just relax and sleep

360
00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: drifting off all right, okay, I'm almost so I keep

361
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: a distance, like, yeah, I think I think we'd have

362
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 1: to rope off an area where you're not allowed to

363
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: step into. Make sense. Um, I can play far, I

364
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: can play far. I think that I think that as

365
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: a form of therapy would work. Um are rodeo clowns,

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Speaker 1: real clowns. Don't get me started with rodeo clowns, okay,

367
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: because they're not really they're not doing they don't bring

368
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: the act the way you do. They're just running around

369
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: trying to not kill be killed by a bull. Right. Well,

370
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 1: that's all clowns, oh, metaphorically speaking, Yeah, you're just avoiding death.

371
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: You know. It's not a little kid punching in the balls.

372
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: You know, you're just trying to avoid getting hit. You're

373
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Speaker 1: running from death every day. That's basically what a clown is.

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Speaker 1: That's what we all are though, if you think about it,

375
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: keep going, just running along, running from death, just trying

376
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: not to die, you know. And some of us have

377
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: our faces painted right, yeah, with sponsorships. If you're listening,

378
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: I've I've heard of clown schools, right and I'm not

379
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: talking about Arizona State University. Uh uh, I need that

380
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: just eventuate my jokes when people don't know that it's

381
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: a joke. Did you did you go to clown school. Uh,

382
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 1: to work on your training or is it? Are you

383
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: all self taught? It's all been on the job training. Yeah,

384
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: you say stuff like well I should have said that,

385
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: or there's a lot of suit or they tell you know, Yeah, yeah,

386
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 1: you learned the hard way. You learned the hard way

387
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: while you're perpetually running from the grim reaper. It's pretty

388
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: much it. Hospitals can be rough crowds. What do you

389
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: do if you're bombing? That's a tough one, you know,

390
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: I mean, you just I just I guess you you

391
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: just clock out, you know, you try again the next day.

392
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: Oh so you just leave the hospital. Yeah, it's like,

393
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: hey see you later, try better tomorrow. You're only human, right, Yeah, No,

394
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: we're not. We're flawed all over the place, and each

395
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: day moving closer to death. Squeeze. No, I can't jog

396
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: that from my memory. I wish I had long haul

397
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: COVID right now, because all I keep thinking about is

398
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: every day is a race against death. Thanks to Gilly

399
00:32:51,240 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: over here, you're right, the insane clown Posse was insane.

400
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: The joker was insane. Yeah, you don't seem insane. You're

401
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: quite funny. I mean, what do you think of media

402
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: representations of clowns? Thank you? How do you? Well? I mean,

403
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: if I can be a little serial for a minute,

404
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: you know, um, I do think that right now. Clowns

405
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: get a bit of a bad rap, you know, I think,

406
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: you know, Mime's kind of got it in the eighties

407
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: and the nineties, I got it bad. I was good

408
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: friends with I'm the godfather of shields and yardnails to child,

409
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,239
Speaker 1: so you know, you know I do. Yeah. They were

410
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: reduced to tears many occasions. What a baby like? Their

411
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: baby doesn't speak because they never spoke to it. So

412
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: I had to read bedtime stories to the baby and

413
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: how would it react? The baby was horrified because that

414
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: was the only voice that ever heard because the rest

415
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: of the time that was dinner time at their house.

416
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 1: That was what that was like. For those of you

417
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: listening on the podcast, we just a sandwich. We mind

418
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 1: eating a sandwich, and we shared it sharing and sharing

419
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: is caring. I'm not familiar with it. Long Hal, Long Hal,

420
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 1: How do you feel about the movie It? What is it? Well,

421
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: it's a very it's a it's a but it's called

422
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: what It's What is it? It is a horrifying clown

423
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: that lives in a neighborhoo it and lives underneath the

424
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:06,839
Speaker 1: street sewer change and chase his children and drags them

425
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: into the sewer. It's in a new movie. It's relatively new,

426
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: I would say, in the last fifteen years. It's scarier

427
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: that you haven't heard of it. But what is it called?

428
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: It's called it. That's is news to me. I haven't

429
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 1: do you worry that you scared too many people. Let's

430
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 1: say you were standing alone in the woods at night.

431
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: What about them? What about them? Is that? Is that

432
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: something you would do? Just scare the ship out of

433
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: people in the woods. It's possible. It's possible, but no,

434
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: but it's But it's possible for our listeners, Gilly just

435
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: mouth maybe to rock, but no, I wouldn't do it

436
00:35:54,560 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: in like, you know, for real, real right for our listeners.

437
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: That's like it? That was it? Really? That did seem

438
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 1: like it? Oh you're talking about Pennywise. Yeah, that's my cousin.

439
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: He's gone Hollywood. No, that guys are really Oh you

440
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: guys don't speak huh oh he said, well, man, I speak.

441
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: He's a big shot now, he's a big shots of tesla.

442
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: That is the current sign of opulence, and your dodge

443
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,399
Speaker 1: run and you're at a red light. The person next

444
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: to you is in a nice blue tesla turns to you.

445
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: What do you do? Clean urine all down on the

446
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: front of my pants. I wet myself and then I

447
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: just throat and reverse because that's the move. Don't speed ahead.

448
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: They'll follow you anywise, we'll be following. Throw it into

449
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: reverse and ram your way out. We had a president

450
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: who was a clown. Um did all the clowns just

451
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: love that the representation in the White House? He obviously

452
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 1: did his own makeup to one shade, I believe it

453
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 1: or not. I I was one of the clowns against it,

454
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: against him. Yeah, in the minity, Yeah yeah, I guess so.

455
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: I guess so I started my own group clowns against Trump.

456
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: Didn't go to U right, small but vocal group, very vocal.

457
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 1: Laughter is the best medicine. I don't know if you've

458
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: ever heard that phrase. Do you think you're more qualified

459
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: to do open heart surgery than say, a surgeon on

460
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 1: the doctrine that laughter is no, no, but good question.

461
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 1: What about a witch doctor? What about Dr oz Well?

462
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: I think anybody could do what he does right that

463
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: it's so funny. I went in for I went in

464
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: for a small, uh minimally invasive procedure, caffeine plants. And

465
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: how much were those? By the way, Oh, way too much,

466
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 1: way too much? Well less than you would think, but

467
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: still a lot. So I would say, But guess who

468
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: my surgeon was, doctor Oz? Really? Yeah, I think so

469
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,800
Speaker 1: where did you meet him? Huh? Where did you find

470
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: your surgeon? Doctor Oz? I looked him up in the

471
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: Yellow Pages. I still get the Yellow Pages delivered to

472
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: me because I don't trust uh technology, that's not great.

473
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: Oh what's happening? Gilly skin all thirsty gillies, the biggest

474
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: straw world and it keeps growing and it keeps growing,

475
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: and and now he's do you want some? That's okay,

476
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 1: it's okay. Do you need this for your urine sample? Uh? Well,

477
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 1: it could come in handy. You never know. Um, once

478
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 1: you hold onto it, I'll put it right here. I

479
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: don't I know that. I did not wake up today

480
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: thinking I would receive a giant straw. There's no way

481
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: that I could have predicted this. But it's delight delightful.

482
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: It's hard to be casual. With a giant straw. I'm

483
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 1: not gonna lie to Okay, you're doing it? Hey, how

484
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 1: you doing? It's a giant straw. Take it with me

485
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: wherever I go. No, I can't share it. It's good

486
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: for the environment. I don't want to straw. Can you

487
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: place that Yeah? Can you place that latte about twenty

488
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: ft away from things? That's good. Yeah, let's get on you. Ryan.

489
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: You said you wanted to do something from your favorite show. Yes,

490
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:37,439
Speaker 1: I did, if you would indulge us. Thinking we could

491
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: do a little stage reading from an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

492
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: I love that show. Um, you'll play Derek, of course,

493
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play the part of Meredith. Um Interior Grace

494
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: Sloan Memorial Hospital night, Derek is in the scrub room

495
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: after surgery, way sushing his hands. Meredith storms in. I lied,

496
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 1: I'm not out of of this relationship. I'm in. I'm

497
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: so in. It's humiliating because here I am begging Meredith.

498
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:21,399
Speaker 1: Shut up, you say, Meredith, and I yell. Remember yeah.

499
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 1: Derek leans against the sink, listening. Okay, here, it is

500
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: your choice. It's simple. Meredith starts getting teary and emotional.

501
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: Her or me, and I'm sure she's really great. But Derek,

502
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: I love you in a really really big pretend to

503
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 1: like your taste in music. Let you eat the last

504
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: piece of cheesecake. Hold of radio over my head, outside

505
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 1: your window. I don't follow that, do you anyway? Classic show,

506
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you? No,

507
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,240
Speaker 1: pick me, choose me, love me. Derek looks at her lovingly.

508
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 1: He moves in to touch her. I'll be at Joe's tonite.

509
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 1: I'll be at Joe's tonite. You got it, So if

510
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,919
Speaker 1: you do decide to sign the papers, meet me there.

511
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: Meredith ready to scrub in. I'm a nurse. Meredith walks out.

512
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 1: Derek looks distressed in size. Wow, you can't beat that, Gilly.

513
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hand you that back. Um. We can't thank

514
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: you enough for coming on. Thank you so much. You

515
00:42:43,719 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: are wonderfully jelly the cloud everyone well, no, no, no,

516
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: they're not supposed to be here. Mcketh coming back. Thank you.

517
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm

518
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: so sorry to do that again. Weird. I don't know

519
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: who invited. I don't stop coming out here. Thank you.

520
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: That was beautiful. Yet again and thank you, thank you

521
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 1: so much, thank you, Mr Burg And we appreciate all

522
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: the work you do in the clowning community. You do

523
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: a great job. I appreciate it. Thank you, sir. Wonderful

524
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:45,720
Speaker 1: Gilly the clown over, thank you. And now it's time

525
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,959
Speaker 1: we've come to a close. Here, it's time for a

526
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: little episode. I like to call my take. Let me

527
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: ask you a simple question. How many of you are

528
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: dog lovers out there? Um? Can we actually just for

529
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: I get a bunch of you doing fair enough? Sometimes

530
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: you do run into a random group of people on

531
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: a Wednesday night who happened to collectively hate dogs. It's

532
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 1: no secret that I love dogs, especially my very own Baxter. Heck,

533
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed to say he's my best friend. The

534
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: love and respect I have for Baxter is the cornerstone

535
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 1: of what is the greatest relationship I have ever known,

536
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 1: human or otherwise. And yet I do have to say

537
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: I think I might have a notion as to what's

538
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: contributing to people's hatred towards our canine friends. If you

539
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: happen to visit a dog park in the excoming days, weeks,

540
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:05,399
Speaker 1: or months, and I really suggest you do, you'll notice

541
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: a very strange phenomenon. Dog names are getting out of control.

542
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: I mean it. I come from an era when there

543
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 1: were only about five acceptable dog names Sparky, Skipper, Spot, Pepper,

544
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: and lady. I mean, and that's all you really needed.

545
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,439
Speaker 1: People were fine with it, in fact, that we happen

546
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: to lose your dog, all you had to do was

547
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: yell spark A, Skipper, Spot, Pepper, lady, and said dog

548
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: would come running home. But somewhere down the line, I

549
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 1: don't know when or where, but this would make a

550
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: fascinating research paper. People started playing around with different names,

551
00:45:54,800 --> 00:46:03,760
Speaker 1: pushing the limits with an occasional shadow or bingo or hello,

552
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: chats such a good boy. Heck, I remember getting a

553
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: few odd looks the first time I called out Baxter's name.

554
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 1: But now something is wrong with the matrix. I don't

555
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: know if it's the pandemic or the state of the

556
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: world right now, but trust me, next time you go

557
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: to a dog park, you will lose your mind. Nacho,

558
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: come here, Nacho, Cooper Ferrari Jazz. That's a good jazz.

559
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 1: Who's the best jazz? Surfer Boy, pork chop, pumpkin sugar sushi, Chase,

560
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: Adella flapjack, cutting board, Boeing seven four seven. What the

561
00:46:50,719 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 1: hell going on? I often scream at my fellow dog owners.

562
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: The other day, I kid you not, there was a

563
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 1: dog named power Aid and another named Direct TV. And

564
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking. They're dogs. It's just noises

565
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: to them. But I disagree. Show them some dignity and

566
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: some grace and they will pay it back tenfold. How

567
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. What I do know is that you

568
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: don't want to be lying on your deathbed staring up

569
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 1: at the big cheeseburger in the sky, thinking to yourself,

570
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: why did I name my dog? Jacob and ronni attorney

571
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 1: at law. Well, I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my take.

572
00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: Thank you everyone, You've been a wonderful audience. We appreciate it.

573
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming up, wonderful marrianties, big surprise. I

574
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: hired him. It was my idea of the whole God.

575
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 1: He's a sexy sexy man with a sexy sexy plan

576
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 1: because he ain't no sucker looking so flight. You could

577
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: drive like a trucker, clean like a plant. You can

578
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: solim younger, fool wheel dry, so we never get a duck.

579
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: He brace so much tacking up a lot of bandwids

580
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 1: and he's a god. Yeah, he ain't no standing, he

581
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 1: doesn't have He's on a nighttime Standwich because everybody knows

582
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 1: he's the surge he banded Ron Burgundy podcast