Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Welcome to Creature feature, where we look at
Speaker 1: all the crazy creatures in nature. I'm your teacher, Katie Golden.
Speaker 1: I studies evolutionary biology and psychology, and once I tried
Speaker 1: cat food just to see what all of fuss was about.
Speaker 1: On the show, we like to dive into the world
Speaker 1: of humans and animals and look at that slice in
Speaker 1: the venn diagram where our world's intersect. Today we'll be
Speaker 1: talking about you want you're a boy, and you will
Speaker 1: who will kill? Cute? And tween who want to murder
Speaker 1: you to death. We're talking the most surprisingly scary animals
Speaker 1: you should be afraid of. Discover this more as we
Speaker 1: answer the age old question what the heck is catfish noodling?
Speaker 1: So first let's talk venom, and I don't mean Tom
Speaker 1: Hardy being sexy having weird intimate relationships with alien goo.
Speaker 1: Venom Use is a predatory and defensive strategy in the
Speaker 1: animal kingdom, and it's one of the various weapons animals
Speaker 1: can wield against humans. Animal venom and toxins have different
Speaker 1: methods of action. Some like that of the Russell's viper,
Speaker 1: contain coagulants blood thickeners that induce thrombosis, which means clotting,
Speaker 1: and it's really nasty and the very gross. If you've
Speaker 1: seen videos. Sometimes you can mix snake venom with just
Speaker 1: a cut of blood and it turns into like jello,
Speaker 1: so Rattlesnake venom contains hemotoxins that destroy tissue causing necrosis
Speaker 1: and stops the blood from coagulating. Kind of the opposite problem.
Speaker 1: The threat of venom isn't overblown. Four million people worldwide
Speaker 1: are victims of envenomation and nine die. When you think
Speaker 1: of deadly venom, you probably imagine snakes and spiders, maybe
Speaker 1: a scorpion or two, but there are many other animals
Speaker 1: that are surprisingly deadly, innocent looking creatures you'd never think
Speaker 1: to be scared of until their venom is coursing through
Speaker 1: your veins and destroying your body from the inside, eyed out.
Speaker 1: Joining me today is comedy writer, Comedy Central featured stand
Speaker 1: up comedian, and co host of the podcast Private Parts Unknown,
Speaker 1: Sofia Alexandra. Welcome, Hi, thanks for having me. You're so welcome.
Speaker 1: You told me before the show that you have a
Speaker 1: fun animal story. Yeah, and I also want to say
Speaker 1: in your intro you say that you tried cad food
Speaker 1: just to see what all the past is about. Um,
Speaker 1: I've I've eaten doggy ice cream and more than once
Speaker 1: because it is really good. Oh, they actually have it
Speaker 1: like they they make special ice cream for dogs. It's
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like space ice cream. It's like,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? It's kind of a
Speaker 1: dry ice cream and it is so fucking good. I
Speaker 1: got my dog these cookies once that were like, um,
Speaker 1: they smelled super good. They were designed four dogs, but
Speaker 1: they're like vanilla. They kind of look like vanilla oreos
Speaker 1: um and they had it smelled heavenly and they were
Speaker 1: made out of duck renderings or something like rendered duck fat.
Speaker 1: And I try a little bit. It was not good. Um,
Speaker 1: not good in the mouth. But this is like sweet.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but it's delicious cream anyway, And
Speaker 1: my fun animal story is okay. So I grew up
Speaker 1: in um, the Soviet Union. I grew up in Odessa,
Speaker 1: then it became you know, Ukraine. And when I was
Speaker 1: growing up, we lived in a communal apartment, which means
Speaker 1: it's a lot of people sharing a very small space.
Speaker 1: So it would be like my mom and I were
Speaker 1: in one room and this like sixty five year old
Speaker 1: alcoholic man was in another, and we like shared the
Speaker 1: kitchen in the bathroom. Um. Anyway, just to give you
Speaker 1: an idea of what the place was, my mom and
Speaker 1: I went to a market and there was a whole
Speaker 1: truck of baby chicks and I like lost my ship.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is the best thing I've ever
Speaker 1: and I couldn't walk away from there, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I need chicks. I need that up some chicks, and
Speaker 1: my mom, bless her, bought me two chicks to bring
Speaker 1: into the living situation. So we had them for a
Speaker 1: while until they kind of started becoming teenagers and then
Speaker 1: they got like a chicken pox. I don't know, Uh,
Speaker 1: chickens can't get chicken fox, but it's some kind of
Speaker 1: mit thing, something weird where they started losing their feathers.
Speaker 1: And then my mom was like, we can't keep them here.
Speaker 1: We have to give them to a farm. So I
Speaker 1: really hope that they actually went to own a farm
Speaker 1: instead of to unquote farm, you know, because I didn't
Speaker 1: know farm was code then, but are the sixty year
Speaker 1: old alcoholic was from like a farm from this village,
Speaker 1: and that's where he took them, so maybe they really did.
Speaker 1: They did go to a farm, and the farm isn't
Speaker 1: just a euphemism for a big old boot exactly. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my funny animal story. Well that's so that's adorable.
Speaker 1: Now we're going to talk about stuff that's not as adorable.
Speaker 1: What kind of animals are you afraid of? H I
Speaker 1: don't like it when bugs have too many legs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like situation, Like, I just think that's fucked up. That's
Speaker 1: too many legs. When I was a little kid, of
Speaker 1: milkpede crawled up my leg and I looked down. I
Speaker 1: just like ran into the house, stripping off clothes and
Speaker 1: jumped into the shower. Yeah. Yeah, that that freaks me
Speaker 1: the funk out. Um, I'm okay with Like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess most stuff because how often are you encountering
Speaker 1: like animals in the city that you need to be afraid.
Speaker 1: I've seen coyotes in the city. Yeah, and if you're
Speaker 1: if you're human, charoites aren't too dangerous as long as
Speaker 1: you're not right. Not a chihuahua, not a sweet little
Speaker 1: in a juicy, juicy baby. Yeah. Um, so I want
Speaker 1: to take you in this show we like to go
Speaker 1: to imagination station all aboard the brain train. Uh. So,
Speaker 1: imagine you're on a lovely beach, the waves coming in
Speaker 1: and out. Just close your eyes, even if you're driving,
Speaker 1: close your eyes. Don't do that, please, And you see
Speaker 1: on the sand as the water kind of wraps around
Speaker 1: your legs, it reveals a beautiful ornate conical shell with
Speaker 1: all sorts of vibrant colors and patterns. You pick it
Speaker 1: up to examine it further, uh, and to marvel at
Speaker 1: its beauty, and it shines in the sun. And suddenly
Speaker 1: you feel as sharp, pricking as if someone's just stabbed
Speaker 1: you in the face with a needle. Then your entire
Speaker 1: body is racked with an unbearable pain. You start to
Speaker 1: sweat uncontrollably, your knees buckle from under you, and you
Speaker 1: collapse completely, unable to move in paralyzed. Your vision starts
Speaker 1: to swim, but you can make out blurally the cone
Speaker 1: snail in your hand and a kind of tendril attached
Speaker 1: to your face like a miniature taser. Damn. Okay, because
Speaker 1: before you started saying that, I was like, Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: afraid of things wrapping around my legs like in the
Speaker 1: sea like nicles. And then you were like a tonicle
Speaker 1: comes out and attaches to your face and I was like,
Speaker 1: how did you know? Um? So, this is a real
Speaker 1: animal called the cone snail, and it's one of the
Speaker 1: most deadly venomous sea creatures in the world. Um. They
Speaker 1: their venom contains something called Cono toxins, which is actually
Speaker 1: named after the snail. Very inventive. So I was gonna say, oh,
Speaker 1: cone is great. Yeah, Cono toxins. Uh. And they have
Speaker 1: a fun variety of neuromuscular effects, including respiratory and cardiovascular toxicity. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's got such a varied method of action. It
Speaker 1: combined to so many molecules and you know, fox with
Speaker 1: your inside in so many different ways that it's almost
Speaker 1: impossible to create an effective anti venom. Wow, that's beautiful. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's fucked up and beautiful. Respect cone snail. Yeah. They
Speaker 1: they're they're jack of all trades, and their trades are
Speaker 1: the Renaissance. Yes, exactly, murder. They're like the Hugh Jackman
Speaker 1: of murder. They can sing, dance, They got an egot.
Speaker 1: Buddy's getting only toxins. Yes. Um. So some of the
Speaker 1: side effects of getting stung by a cone snail, are
Speaker 1: bleeding under the skin, cardiac dilation, which is basically when
Speaker 1: the chambers of the heart like blow up, cerebral edema,
Speaker 1: which is when fluids built up around the brain, which
Speaker 1: can cause intracranial pressure, which can cut off blood supply
Speaker 1: and cause death. Man, So I bet you're wondering, Hey,
Speaker 1: can I can I be treated for this? Like? Is it? Actually?
Speaker 1: I was wondering, are there any cone snails nearby? Because
Speaker 1: in the office, no, I just mean like in California,
Speaker 1: in the ocean, I mean, you're unlikely to run across one,
Speaker 1: to be fair, But they are found all over the world.
Speaker 1: So they're in the Indian and Pacific Oceans, the Caribbean
Speaker 1: and Red Seas, along the coast of floor or to um.
Speaker 1: But you're unlikely to just kind of happen upon one
Speaker 1: walking across the shore. It's usually encounters are when you're
Speaker 1: diving in the ocean, and you like, if you see
Speaker 1: one in you're diving, you shouldn't don't don't pick it up.
Speaker 1: But like snorkeling or like deep sea diving, I think
Speaker 1: mostly like like you'd actually be scuba diving. I don't
Speaker 1: think you think, okay, I'm not. That's fine, Okay, I
Speaker 1: feel a lot better. You should also not touch things
Speaker 1: though when you're snarkling, so because you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things there's like a lion fish when you're snarkling.
Speaker 1: Not I don't think they're in a San Diego, but
Speaker 1: I think in Australia, you don't. You don't want to
Speaker 1: mess with them trying to tell me not to touch
Speaker 1: it in the ocean. I'm just out there, arms out.
Speaker 1: Who was that a tampon? To touch anything? I'll touch
Speaker 1: anything in the ocean. Um. So uh, you can't actually
Speaker 1: be treated for it if you get to a hospital
Speaker 1: like immediately, not long. Like I would say, you've got
Speaker 1: to start getting to the hospital within I didn't really
Speaker 1: see any great estimates, but I would say within you know,
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of being damn uh injected at the ballpark.
Speaker 1: That um that is. But yeah, I mean you're not
Speaker 1: you know, it's like you if without treatment, it's got
Speaker 1: like a mortality rate of around se um. So uh.
Speaker 1: They basically at the hospital, since there's no anti venom,
Speaker 1: they just try to help support your body as you
Speaker 1: work through the toxins. So um, they support your breathing
Speaker 1: and circulation and just kind of hope you ride out
Speaker 1: the venom and they they'll give you some pain killers
Speaker 1: because it's extremely excruciatingly painful. Um. It does not seem
Speaker 1: like we can do ship with this, you mean, like medically,
Speaker 1: and it seems like when we are not really we've
Speaker 1: not solved this. Well, it's to be fair, it's extremely rare,
Speaker 1: so it's helping someone write it out, is not really
Speaker 1: a treatment. Well. Another another thing they try to do
Speaker 1: is compression bandages, like on the way to the hospital
Speaker 1: and the ambulance um to kind of try to slow
Speaker 1: the circulation of the toxin um. But too much compression
Speaker 1: can cut off circulation and that can to tissue necrosis,
Speaker 1: which is basically your tissue dying, and you don't want that.
Speaker 1: That's no good. What about icing the body? I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's an interesting idea because you know that's what they do.
Speaker 1: I used to have breast cancer and chemotherapy and did
Speaker 1: a cold cap and they do that so that like
Speaker 1: the blood with the chemo in it doesn't circulate as
Speaker 1: much so that you can keep your hair. That's also
Speaker 1: been used extremely rarely. There aren't that many case studies
Speaker 1: of this, but like with um rabies to try to
Speaker 1: help slow down the body processes just so um you know,
Speaker 1: the sort of lowering the temperature of the body um
Speaker 1: to help kind of amiliorate some of the effects. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's interesting. I don't think I think it's like so,
Speaker 1: it's not treated that often, and I think mostly just
Speaker 1: supporting the like like helping to manually help someone breathe
Speaker 1: and supporting the circulatory system and treating the symptoms as
Speaker 1: they come along seems to be the most successful. But
Speaker 1: that's a good that's a good point. I wonder if
Speaker 1: they try that. Um uh so, statistically speaking, you actually
Speaker 1: have nothing to worry about, like only thirty six people
Speaker 1: have died in the past basically hundred years. Um. But
Speaker 1: it's still just doesn't sound like a good time to me.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a real bumber. It sounds like a real bummer.
Speaker 1: Such a horrible way to go that I feel like
Speaker 1: it just can really ruin your day. Yeah, just like
Speaker 1: getting harpooned by little Pretty seashell. It also sounds like
Speaker 1: alien or something. It doesn't sound yeah like where it's
Speaker 1: so yeah, and it looks like it too. So it's
Speaker 1: like they have this harpoon that comes out of the proboscus,
Speaker 1: this little tentacle, it's not really tentacal, but it's just
Speaker 1: the words boscus um and it hangs out of their
Speaker 1: shell um. And so the harpoon really does look like
Speaker 1: a harpoon when you look at it under the microscope
Speaker 1: or or a hypodermic needle. It's hollow so that the
Speaker 1: venom can flow through it directly into your face. Um.
Speaker 1: It's it's actually a customized radula. So radula is the
Speaker 1: name for basically the mollusk equivalent of teeth um. And
Speaker 1: evolution has shaped these into almost these perfect harpoon shapes.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of neat that it's a harpoon shape
Speaker 1: because that means it like it's stuck, because that's the
Speaker 1: point that's like the harpoon isn't just like a It
Speaker 1: has that little little hook that's like that little extra
Speaker 1: screw you that lodges it into you. UM. And so
Speaker 1: the proboscus hangs out lures in unsuspecting fish, and then
Speaker 1: when the fish or other prey item gets close enough,
Speaker 1: they shoot them with a harpoon like a taser um.
Speaker 1: And then the venom goes into the fish, paralyzes it,
Speaker 1: kills it typically um, and then it can just you know,
Speaker 1: suck in the prey through its proboscis. Respect ah. And
Speaker 1: some larger cone snails have harpoons that are big enough
Speaker 1: to pierce a wetsuit. What just to make you feel
Speaker 1: extra safe, um, cone snail venom is one of the
Speaker 1: most potent venoms in the world. It's more deadly per
Speaker 1: unit than that of the king cobra. Um. King cobra
Speaker 1: does kill more people, but it's venom. It actually is
Speaker 1: able to pump in more. First of all, you're more
Speaker 1: likely to come across I was just gonna say, it's
Speaker 1: not as rare as a cone snail, right, and then
Speaker 1: it's they're more. They're more You're just more likely to
Speaker 1: accidentally piss off a cobra. Uh. And then it's also
Speaker 1: they pump in more venom than a cone snailed. But
Speaker 1: per unit, it's a lot more powerful than that of
Speaker 1: the king cobra. It's also constantly regrowing it's harpoon, so
Speaker 1: it's always got a ready arsenal to continue murdering. Again. Wow,
Speaker 1: just a commitment to murder is just unparalleled, right, it's
Speaker 1: like one of these kind of like someone who's unhealthily
Speaker 1: obsessed with guns and just has this huge collection of guns.
Speaker 1: It's like, what are you planning on doing? Like you're
Speaker 1: like put that gun away, and they're like okay, and
Speaker 1: then they take out another gun, right, and they have
Speaker 1: like several more guns on them. It's like like I'll
Speaker 1: need you to, like, you know, put your put your
Speaker 1: gun on the table. And they just like take out
Speaker 1: an entire arsenal and like you're like is that all
Speaker 1: of them? And they're like no, yeah, just like a
Speaker 1: they like take out a huge like bazooka and all
Speaker 1: these other things and grenades and so never give up,
Speaker 1: never surrender when it comes to murder. Love the cone snail.
Speaker 1: So a weird thing about them is that some Kune
Speaker 1: snail species, venom, has a component to it which, when isolated,
Speaker 1: can be used as a pain killer that can be
Speaker 1: could potentially be a thousand times more potent than that
Speaker 1: of morphine and potentially less addictive. Potentially potentially I just
Speaker 1: like to imagine. I like that. They're like it could
Speaker 1: be great, or you will be the new the new drug.
Speaker 1: Just people going around finding kune snails getting shot in
Speaker 1: the face like it hurts, but it feels so good. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then I want to talk about another cute little
Speaker 1: sea creature that doesn't seem very dangerous. So these a
Speaker 1: little tike, cute little jellyfish. Don't trust those, but there's
Speaker 1: these ones are called the could Dangi jellyfish. Uh. Actually
Speaker 1: I think I pronounced that wrong. I think it's kanji. Yes,
Speaker 1: that sounds right. Uh. And they're about the size of
Speaker 1: your thumbnail. They're teeny tiny, dude, you know, kitty like
Speaker 1: you know. And those are the ones that sting me
Speaker 1: when I when I go to Mexico. The Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: not the same clue, yeah, yeah, but these staying a
Speaker 1: lot and they're little and you don't see what they happen.
Speaker 1: It's like in Finding Nemo where Dori finds the keels
Speaker 1: jellyfish and it's stings aer um. But they're they're the
Speaker 1: one of the smallest jellyfish in the world, and they're
Speaker 1: also one of the most venomous um. Like the kumb snail.
Speaker 1: They will fire their stingers into their victims, and the
Speaker 1: effects of their sting is known as the Urukanji syndrome,
Speaker 1: and it includes symptoms such as excruciating muscle cramps, severe
Speaker 1: kidney pain, burning sensation in the skin, headaches, sweating, nausea, vomiting,
Speaker 1: increased heart rate and blood pressure. Psychological phenomena of a
Speaker 1: feeling of impending doom caused by the release of uh
Speaker 1: some kind of neurotransmitter that the jellyfish also has. So
Speaker 1: it's not only destroying your body, but destroying your mind.
Speaker 1: I mean, I respect a multitasker physical and psychological torture.
Speaker 1: That's really that jellyfish. Jellyfish is a real hater. It is.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a professional hater. Uh So the sting
Speaker 1: is just moderately irritating. Um, and that's kind of what
Speaker 1: I guess, thank you you will at first, and then
Speaker 1: about thirty minutes after being stung, here in for a
Speaker 1: bad time. I mean, yeah, I heard what you just read.
Speaker 1: So the effects of the sting it's not immediate, like
Speaker 1: so for sure, it's like, oh little, it's fine, just
Speaker 1: a little a little a little bit of an irritation.
Speaker 1: It's not so bad. And then thirty minutes later you're
Speaker 1: just your your body is dying in your brain is
Speaker 1: tricked into thinking there's impending doom, except there also is.
Speaker 1: So it's like, uh, um and the sting is a
Speaker 1: hundred times as potent as a cobra and a thousand
Speaker 1: times as potent as venomous tarantula. I like that we
Speaker 1: keep comparing the everything to King Cobra or like, yeah, Bucky,
Speaker 1: you're not as bad as you think. I know, Cobra,
Speaker 1: you think you're a badass, You're really not. Nope, Uh
Speaker 1: it's uh, it's a real I like, I like doing
Speaker 1: sick burns on cobras. Yeah, I mean somewhere out there,
Speaker 1: they're like plotting a revenge against against you, right, I
Speaker 1: mean also, cobras just seemed like the jocks of the
Speaker 1: snake world there. They liked aupper body, Yeah, just like
Speaker 1: flex and all the time. And I mean completely skipping
Speaker 1: leg day obviously. Um yeah, we're those calves bro Uh
Speaker 1: so they the one of the ways that these jellyfish
Speaker 1: can kill you is fatal brain hemorrhage. Cool, So I'd
Speaker 1: like to know what that looks like. Is at an
Speaker 1: internal situation, so your brain bleeds to death? No, but
Speaker 1: like would any of the blood come out of your
Speaker 1: nose or your ears or anything? But I don't think
Speaker 1: so I mean, you might be just bleeding around anyways
Speaker 1: because you're you get um a lot of muscle cramps
Speaker 1: and such. But I think it's mostly just internal. I
Speaker 1: don't think the blood is like splurting out of your eyeballs.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: it's you're going to do this go all the way
Speaker 1: like a tent on deadliness, but a zero on presentation. Seriously,
Speaker 1: all about the presentation. I was expecting, like a movie,
Speaker 1: bleeding out of the mouth and blurting blood everywhere, crying
Speaker 1: tears blood would be amazing. Anything like that I was
Speaker 1: looking for. We have talked on the show about them.
Speaker 1: It's the horn toad. It's actually a lizard and it uh,
Speaker 1: it does squirt blood out of its size, but on
Speaker 1: purpose as a defense strategy. It's pretty cool. Is the
Speaker 1: blood poisonous? It's distasteful. It doesn't taste good. So it's
Speaker 1: like if they gets tasteful, Yeah, if it gets in
Speaker 1: niciotes mouth, They're they're like, oh, I'm not gonna eat you.
Speaker 1: You squirt stink blood at me. That's not good. Amazing. Um,
Speaker 1: So where would you suppose these jellyfish live? Just just
Speaker 1: guessing Australia. Yes, correct, most deadly shit is from there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's always Australia. People are always telling me to go there.
Speaker 1: I was like, there's a lot of other places that
Speaker 1: are not. They also box jellyfish. They also have like
Speaker 1: the blue ring doctpus. I'm pretty sure we have all
Speaker 1: those spiders that are poisonous too. Yeah. Yeah, although as
Speaker 1: well discuss later, you shouldn't be as afraid of spiders
Speaker 1: as these other animals, so I didn't even put them
Speaker 1: on my list. So these jellyfish send almost a hundred
Speaker 1: people to the hospital a year, so that's not great.
Speaker 1: Um do most people survive? What's this? Well, if you
Speaker 1: go Yeah, if you go to the hospital, you can
Speaker 1: successfully be treated generally, but if you don't get to
Speaker 1: you would have before you start dying. I think it's
Speaker 1: so there aren't that many case studies because like as
Speaker 1: soon as someone gets stung, they just like sent them out.
Speaker 1: But you definitely have a good thirty minutes before you
Speaker 1: start showing any symptoms. So um, yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: if you can get to the hospital within an hour,
Speaker 1: you'll probably'll be okay. I don't know, don't don't quote
Speaker 1: me on that don't like get stung by one and
Speaker 1: then like ites, fine, well she so I don't ever
Speaker 1: know or get a massive lawsuit. Yeah so catfish. Did
Speaker 1: you know catfish can sting? I didn't know. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: thought they. I thought they were kind of adorable with
Speaker 1: their like mustaches. Yeah, just like like harmless big mouth
Speaker 1: mustachio dudes. Yeah. I mean in my mind, they're like
Speaker 1: wearing a top hat essentially. I don't know how they
Speaker 1: have like a French like a French accent. They're like
Speaker 1: oh she um. So they have dorsal and pectoral spines
Speaker 1: that can inject you with venom. The venom isn't deadly,
Speaker 1: but it can cause severe tissue necrosis, which is like
Speaker 1: I explained tissue dying off. Don't google it, don't do it.
Speaker 1: I'll let me describe it. Let me paint a mental
Speaker 1: picture so you're not tempted to google it. What tissue
Speaker 1: necrosis looks like is you know, like the burnt part
Speaker 1: of a pizza, um like that, but like on your skin.
Speaker 1: And it's not that it's burning, it's that it's dying flesh.
Speaker 1: It's just straight on black and creepy. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: black and blue and green and like your poles and
Speaker 1: just yeah, it looks like it looks like a little
Speaker 1: chunk of your body has been turned into a zombie.
Speaker 1: It's it's pretty gross and not good for you to
Speaker 1: to have on. Oh oh my goodness. Um, have you
Speaker 1: heard about catfish noodle? Uh? Yeah, I feel like I
Speaker 1: have what comes to mind? Isn't that a sport? Maybe
Speaker 1: I like pull catfish out? Okay, yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's a I don't. I didn't realize it was
Speaker 1: like a sport. I'm not sure if it's like ah,
Speaker 1: I thought, maybe they do. Maybe I just made that
Speaker 1: be a thing, and I hope it's a thing. I
Speaker 1: kind of don't because you shouldn't harass catfish because you
Speaker 1: can both get hurt. But it is pretty funny. Um.
Speaker 1: So newling is when people go into swamps and then
Speaker 1: they put their fists into or it doesn't necessarily have
Speaker 1: to be swamps anywhere where catfish roam, and they find
Speaker 1: like a catfish burrow, um, and then like they stick
Speaker 1: their whole arm down into the burrow and the catfish
Speaker 1: will freak out and like bite your arm and then
Speaker 1: pull your arm, pull your arm out and the whole
Speaker 1: huge catfish is on your arm. Um. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say on the record, I don't recommend it. Um. I
Speaker 1: suppose unless you're a professional catfish noodler, because catfish is heavy,
Speaker 1: and we don't we're not super buoyant. So if you're
Speaker 1: like swimming down and you get bitten by a catfish
Speaker 1: and then you can't swim back up, you could drown.
Speaker 1: They're also also what an undignified way die? Right, yeah,
Speaker 1: like like imagine catfishing. Yeah, you're acking loved ones. Writing
Speaker 1: the obituary, I mean to be like, I guess we
Speaker 1: have to put catfish noodling in this. He died as
Speaker 1: he lived, sticking things sticking in his sucking hands where
Speaker 1: they don't belong. Fuck you, Kevin deep throating catfish with
Speaker 1: his arm, as as he he he would have wanted
Speaker 1: to die this way. We don't even miss him, We don't.
Speaker 1: What a dumbass, What a douche bag? Um. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: also you know, because they have those spines that can
Speaker 1: inject you with venom that are very painful. I just wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't noodle a catfish personally. Apparently I
Speaker 1: was reading about catfish noodling, and people do them in
Speaker 1: pairs as a sport because like it's too dangerous to
Speaker 1: do it alone, so you have to have a spotter,
Speaker 1: a catfish noodle or spot um. And so I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess if you if you feel it's also illegal
Speaker 1: in a lot of places because it's dangerous and pointless.
Speaker 1: Uh so, uh if you must catfish noodle, noodle with
Speaker 1: a buddy, p s a. Never noodle alone, Never noodle alone.
Speaker 1: Let people know when you like, have a noodle itinerary
Speaker 1: where it's like at eight am, I'm going to such
Speaker 1: and such swamp and I'm going to catfish noodle with
Speaker 1: this friend and alert, I mean you will you probably
Speaker 1: at that point you'd probably interrested because it's legal a
Speaker 1: lot of places. I apologize to everyone who practices catfish noodling.
Speaker 1: I may be missing out on They're very angry right now,
Speaker 1: right like it may be a real important tradition in places.
Speaker 1: But um, I I think it's fine if you know
Speaker 1: what you're doing. But if you're listening to this podcast
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, is catfish noodling right, maybe I would
Speaker 1: say no, I would say don't unless just don't don't noodle,
Speaker 1: stay stay in scoodle. Don't noodle, please, someone make this merge.
Speaker 1: Stay in scoodle. Don't you noodle? Can you become immune
Speaker 1: to venom? So right up top, I'm gonna say, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: don't try it, be cool, stay in school, and don't
Speaker 1: inject yourself with deadly snake venom. That said, my p
Speaker 1: s A didn't reach the ears of rock Senior Steve Ludwin,
Speaker 1: who has been injecting himself with snake venom for over
Speaker 1: thirty years. He's in punk bands and he likes to
Speaker 1: shoot up with snake venom that he's collected. So why
Speaker 1: is it? Because it's just super punk to do. But
Speaker 1: it goes beyond that. Ludwin is an animal lover, and hey,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm an animal lover too, But I don't
Speaker 1: inject snake venom into my veins like hardly about But
Speaker 1: to little one, it's an intimate experience. He says, quote,
Speaker 1: snakes are fucking everywhere. The symbol for medicine is two snakes.
Speaker 1: They're ingrained in our brain and our DNA unquote. I
Speaker 1: can't actually verify any of that. Uh. He has another
Speaker 1: motivation for like the voice, Hey man, snakes. They're fuck neverwhere, man,
Speaker 1: They're in our d n a. Uh So he probably
Speaker 1: doesn't sound anything like that. So he's got you're dead
Speaker 1: on Yeah it's and now you're right. Uh So, he
Speaker 1: actually has another motivation for injecting himself. He wants to
Speaker 1: quote build up an immunity. So here's another quote for him.
Speaker 1: But you know, I've always loved snakes, and I had
Speaker 1: no idea what it would do to me. But I
Speaker 1: knew it'd been done before, and I was curious to
Speaker 1: see if it was possible to become immune to snake venom.
Speaker 1: So again, I think it's good to point out that
Speaker 1: typically the best thing you can hope for after injecting
Speaker 1: yourself a snake venom is a trip to the hospital
Speaker 1: and maybe he'll survive without too many amputations. Uh So,
Speaker 1: for an example of the dangers once blood win quote
Speaker 1: overdosed on venom. Uh he didn't want to go to
Speaker 1: the hospital, despite the fact that his hand blew up
Speaker 1: to the size of a baseballment, because he was afraid
Speaker 1: his snakes would be confiscated from him. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: he owns the snakes, yes, yes, he milks them and
Speaker 1: then injects himself with their venom. Okay, you missed telling
Speaker 1: me that I buried the lead on that one. That
Speaker 1: is fun. He's like got a snake farm essentially, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to inject himself and you're not supposed to get high
Speaker 1: off your own supply. Yeah. So to pass the time,
Speaker 1: he watched David Attenborough series about reptiles as his arm
Speaker 1: just started to get bigger and bigger, and he finally
Speaker 1: decided to go after the go to the hospital once
Speaker 1: his entire arms swell up and uh. He described his
Speaker 1: arm as something out of the Evil Dead Um. So
Speaker 1: he somehow survived and his complete insanity might benefit us
Speaker 1: all somehow. Researchers at the University of Copenhagen are trying
Speaker 1: to develop the first human derived anti venom using Ludwe's antibodies.
Speaker 1: So typically anti venom is developed by injecting domesticated animals
Speaker 1: with small amounts of snake venom and collecting their antibodies.
Speaker 1: The University of Copenhagen's Ludwin Library of Human Derived anti
Speaker 1: venom maybe a godsen for those who reject anti venom
Speaker 1: derived from animals. As Ludwin puts it, quote, those scientists
Speaker 1: win the noble prize for medicine and I get recognition.
Speaker 1: That would be pretty sweet. I can't believe this idiot
Speaker 1: is going to benefit. He may save us all. So
Speaker 1: when we come back, I'll discuss a couple more surprisingly
Speaker 1: venomous animals as well as some sweet cute little babies
Speaker 1: who can jet your ship right up. So animals often
Speaker 1: take advantage of us by being cute. We've talked about
Speaker 1: this before. Are on the show where any animal who
Speaker 1: fits into our baby's schema, having big foreheads, big eyes,
Speaker 1: adorable baby like proportions, to que you, woody flies, bigugi,
Speaker 1: want to love and cudoyam foebo. In fact, there's a
Speaker 1: research study that found viewing cute images increases behavioral carefulness,
Speaker 1: and this may be the cutest behavioral study I've ever
Speaker 1: heard of. Participants were exposed to pictures of dogs and cats,
Speaker 1: either as puppies and kittens or as adults. Those who
Speaker 1: saw the pictures of the cute little puppies and kitties
Speaker 1: performed better on what the researchers called a quote fine
Speaker 1: motor dexterity task a k a. The Hasbro game operation.
Speaker 1: Researchers think the effect of cuteness goes beyond your aptitude
Speaker 1: at pulling butterflies out of cavity Sam's stomach. They think
Speaker 1: that by seeing something cute, we go into a hyper
Speaker 1: careful mode, perhaps which is helpful and child wearing. But
Speaker 1: there may be another reason to be extra careful. Joe,
Speaker 1: I'm cute things want to kill us and we can't
Speaker 1: be beguiled by their adorable puppy is waits at being
Speaker 1: really careful? Is what makes you good at operation? I
Speaker 1: guess so. I thought it was steady hands brought on
Speaker 1: by exan X. Yeah, just just like getting a xan
Speaker 1: X prescription, just to be good at those study hand games. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like adderall and focus. Yeah yeah, mix zanex and aderal.
Speaker 1: Don't do that, you'll die or something bad. I'm sure
Speaker 1: something that. Don't. Don't don't mix. Don't don't mix medications
Speaker 1: without a doctor, especially not to get good at operations.
Speaker 1: It's really not worth it. No, it's not. So. Have
Speaker 1: you ever seen those like viral videos of the slow
Speaker 1: loris Have you seen those before? I don't know what.
Speaker 1: Let me show you and I don't know if I haven't.
Speaker 1: And it's acute, e Woodey, look at the cute. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is adorable, adorable. It's got these big brown eyes.
Speaker 1: It's got like it's like a long pain almost yes, slail,
Speaker 1: it's like a long miniature panda. Um. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: you may have seen like those videos of that that
Speaker 1: little slow lorist getting little tummy scratchy use and its
Speaker 1: arm lifting up and it's so cute, but it's actually
Speaker 1: very sinister in many ways, as we will discuss. So
Speaker 1: no one can see this, but my eyes are widened
Speaker 1: with just like just like a slow loris. So say
Speaker 1: you come across a slow lorist in the wild. Uh.
Speaker 1: These are some of the most adorable little primates you've
Speaker 1: ever seen. They're found in tropical and subcrit tropical Southeast Asia.
Speaker 1: Their nocturnal primates with huge adorable eyes. They're fluffy, they
Speaker 1: got cute little poopable noses, cute little hands. They kind
Speaker 1: of look like a cross between a porg and a monkey.
Speaker 1: They're so cute, cute sloth like features. Also, they just
Speaker 1: like it's just one of the most huggable looking animals.
Speaker 1: But you should not them. Do not do that because
Speaker 1: they have a vault to mimic a cobra's deadly bite. Um.
Speaker 1: They're actually yes. They are the only known venomous primate
Speaker 1: in the world. Wow, I didn't even know primates could
Speaker 1: be venomous. While most of them are, the only this one. Uh.
Speaker 1: They have a toxin and the crook of their inner arms,
Speaker 1: so when threatened, it will put its arms up over
Speaker 1: its head, exposing these toxic pits. Uh. Not not like
Speaker 1: when I raised my arms up and everybody has to
Speaker 1: smell my pits. Get it? Sometimes you know, it gets
Speaker 1: sweaty down there and I can't help it. Dude, it's
Speaker 1: the summer. It is the summer. But actually it's not
Speaker 1: their arm pits. It's the brachial gland on their upper
Speaker 1: arm um, and so it secretes a venom um. And
Speaker 1: it actually also mimics a cobra's general look with a
Speaker 1: posture and dark coloration that kind of looks like a
Speaker 1: cobra's hood. Uh. And it undulates from like a serpentine manner,
Speaker 1: like sexy like just like and then he hugs you
Speaker 1: to death. Uh. So it'll Actually the way it delivers
Speaker 1: this venom is it like sucks the venom from its
Speaker 1: arms with its mouth and then it bites. So it's
Speaker 1: like like liq li, like my arms, bite, bite, bite
Speaker 1: your butt. That's so weird. It looks it's like taking
Speaker 1: tequila shots. But but venom and then it all like
Speaker 1: once it bites, it doesn't like to let go because
Speaker 1: that it gets more venom in that way. Um, and
Speaker 1: this venom can actually cause anaphylactic shock in humans, and
Speaker 1: even there has been recorded cases of people dying from this.
Speaker 1: How do you get it to let go? You know
Speaker 1: how they say like bulls like hackle its arm. It's no, no, wait,
Speaker 1: there's more like you put a finger apparently up the
Speaker 1: butt of a pit bull. If it's not letting go.
Speaker 1: I don't know I've or that. I don't. I don't recommend.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you should put a finger up. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't think you should. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you should saying. What do you do? I wouldn't personally,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't recommend putting a finger up a slow lorises.
Speaker 1: But that's it's not saying how do you get it
Speaker 1: off of you? How do you get it off of you? Well?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think like, uh, by that point,
Speaker 1: you've already screwed up. It's too late. You just got
Speaker 1: to accept your fate because you missed with one of
Speaker 1: the cutest animals in the world. You've made it scared.
Speaker 1: This is your punishment. I love how fatalistic you are
Speaker 1: about it. You're like, no, you've sucked up. It's time
Speaker 1: to say because like it's so it's so cute, and
Speaker 1: you scared it and you kept molesting it until it
Speaker 1: bit you. So like you know, so question that video
Speaker 1: of the thing being tickled and exposing its pits, was
Speaker 1: it about to get violent? Um? It was definitely scared.
Speaker 1: So it was like, uh, it's lifting its arms up
Speaker 1: like that can be a sign that it's it feels threatened. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, if it was about to bite.
Speaker 1: In fact, I think that's with some of these uh
Speaker 1: the because there are actually one of the main threats
Speaker 1: to slow horses is there the wildlife trade. There's this
Speaker 1: illegal pet trade. And they are really not good pets.
Speaker 1: They're not domesticated, they're not meant to be pets. They
Speaker 1: you know, it's there. They have poisonous bites there for
Speaker 1: they have poisonous armpits. Um. I think sometimes they remove
Speaker 1: those glands so they won't be dangerous. I know, it's
Speaker 1: really mean um and uh so I just let the
Speaker 1: animal right an right. So so those videos of them
Speaker 1: getting tickled are really not necessarily that cute. I can't
Speaker 1: can't say for certain that the they're scared in the videos.
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard to know. Um. But like lifting
Speaker 1: their arms up like that is assigned posture. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be surprising to me if they were feeling threatened.
Speaker 1: But like they can't do anything about it. Um so, Uh,
Speaker 1: mommy lorises will rub toxins on their babies so to
Speaker 1: protect them. Yeah yeah, and partially that those toxins will
Speaker 1: protect them from parasites to um smart yeah. Um so. Actually,
Speaker 1: the way that their venom works is it triggers a
Speaker 1: severe allergy. Uh. It's similar to the molecular structure of
Speaker 1: the allergen and cat dander, just a lot more potent um.
Speaker 1: So that's why it causes anaphylactic shock in some people,
Speaker 1: because it's like this really severe. My husband would die
Speaker 1: in a seconds. Um. That's another reason not to keep
Speaker 1: them as pets. You will die, now, like the dance
Speaker 1: you did with you will die, You will die. Don't
Speaker 1: collect elite loris is. They will kill you with their
Speaker 1: own pets. Um So, like I said earlier, we're more
Speaker 1: of a danger to them than there to us. There
Speaker 1: in dangered because of deforestation and the illegal wildlife trade.
Speaker 1: So if you see one on like have you seen
Speaker 1: them on Craigslist listing, or you want to get one
Speaker 1: as a pet, you don't, like we have dogs and
Speaker 1: cats are great pets and dogs are They've evolved with
Speaker 1: us forever just to be our pets. And cats I
Speaker 1: mean obviously we're just slaves to cats. So like, either
Speaker 1: of those options are great to have us pets. Just
Speaker 1: don't slow lorises. Leave them alone. They'll they're not for you, man,
Speaker 1: They'll they'll kill you with their arm pits. Then around.
Speaker 1: Uh So, another another cuty, little little cute, little baby
Speaker 1: animal is a platypus. They're like the lovable goofballs of
Speaker 1: the animal kingdom because their whole structure is ridiculous. Their
Speaker 1: bodies like a jumble. Yeah, it's amazing. They look like
Speaker 1: a duck of evil and like a kidnah all mixed together.
Speaker 1: Great affinity for them, because when I look in the mirror,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, the snows was not supposed to be here.
Speaker 1: This went clearly to the much bigger person. It's like
Speaker 1: when you wake up in the morning, you're like, you
Speaker 1: look like a character generation generator that just got Like
Speaker 1: you click the randomizer button, you're like huh yeah, or
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, ship is not good when like
Speaker 1: your face idea doesn't recognize right, it's like, nah, Sophia
Speaker 1: and this is not it. And I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: well uh so yeah, these are actually their monotreams. Uh,
Speaker 1: the platypus so there is. That's why. That's why they're
Speaker 1: so like so jumbled. Uh. So they're like a very
Speaker 1: early form of mammal um. So they're actually kind of
Speaker 1: a cool look into our evolutionary past um because they
Speaker 1: lay eggs and they excrete milk, but they don't have nipples.
Speaker 1: They just kind of like it uses through their pores
Speaker 1: in their skin. Um. Yeah, so they're just getting milky
Speaker 1: all over. Well, I mean yeah, so there are actually
Speaker 1: these like grooves and their tummies that sort of like
Speaker 1: the milk coals is in and then the babies just
Speaker 1: look it up. Okay, so like milk folds. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: they're not nipples yet. They didn't have they haven't evolved
Speaker 1: it yet. Yeah. Um and uh they and that's that
Speaker 1: also explains like their bizarre appearance of having like bills
Speaker 1: and stuff. Um, they're just they're just super ancient forms
Speaker 1: of mammals. It's really cool. Um and uh guess where
Speaker 1: they are Australia. We've actually talked about them a little
Speaker 1: bit before. They use electrolocation, uh, which means they can
Speaker 1: detect very tiny electrical signals coming from prey like worms
Speaker 1: and stuff in the water. U. Um and but something
Speaker 1: that you know, they look really cute, just like lovable
Speaker 1: little goofballs. But male platypus have a spur on their
Speaker 1: feet that can deliver a powerful kick of venom. Just
Speaker 1: a spur, yes, just one. No, they got got them
Speaker 1: on both back and that makes sense. I was like,
Speaker 1: that'd be really weird if it's just one. Well, male
Speaker 1: male platypus can uh So, like even though it's not
Speaker 1: deadly to humans, it is super duper unpleasant and very painful. Um.
Speaker 1: It is deadly to smaller animals like dogs. Um. And
Speaker 1: it's so painful to humans that it can be incapacitating.
Speaker 1: Uh So it can also even like in the months
Speaker 1: following getting stung by platypus, you can have a hypersensitivity
Speaker 1: to pain. Ah, so it sucks you up for a while. Um.
Speaker 1: But they have those little duck feed What do you
Speaker 1: mean these things are poisonous? They look they look like
Speaker 1: they would just be like they're like, please, put me
Speaker 1: on your lap, Put me on your lap. Gab you
Speaker 1: I can't believe enjoy the pain for the coming months.
Speaker 1: Can you see the spurs? Yea, okay, females have the
Speaker 1: spurs too, but they actually aren't attached to like, they
Speaker 1: don't have the glands that produce the venom. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: so you can pick up a female on you Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I don't you said it? Don't don't just leave
Speaker 1: them alone. Leave them alone, God, but leave leave the
Speaker 1: platypus alone. Um. So why do they have these, Well,
Speaker 1: they are probably defensive weapons. They can also be weapons
Speaker 1: that are used between males to compete during mating season. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's likely that the venom was derived from what's
Speaker 1: called defense and like proteins, which is part of the
Speaker 1: immune system that kills off pathogens um and has been
Speaker 1: adapted into a defensive venom in the platypus. I had
Speaker 1: no idea. Yes, they they got all the girl one.
Speaker 1: I don't care, but then they're jealous. Boyfriends are going
Speaker 1: to come up and stab you with their pointy feet. Fuck.
Speaker 1: Good point. You know if they can pierce like shoes
Speaker 1: or something, I don't know, because if not, I got
Speaker 1: you don't just like hug them with your galoshes just
Speaker 1: wearing boots on the beach, I don't. They aren't really
Speaker 1: a beach. They're not. I mean, you know again, like
Speaker 1: unless you really like kind of frustrate a platinum for
Speaker 1: you're probably fine. Well they're in They're like in there
Speaker 1: in marshy like water, bodies of water like swampy. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: um so uh some cute animals can pack a punch
Speaker 1: even if they don't have venom. Um. So, do you
Speaker 1: know of leopard seals? No? Are they seals that are
Speaker 1: leopard printed? Yeah? Exactly. I'm down. I'm very down. I'm
Speaker 1: a big print, cute, cute little guy. Hello. They look
Speaker 1: like a little feep up. These they're so cute. I mean,
Speaker 1: they look pretty much like regular seals. They just have
Speaker 1: a little bit of spots. They got spots, and they
Speaker 1: kind of have this little smile like at that they smile.
Speaker 1: But all the seals smile. Yeah, but these ones are
Speaker 1: cute too. They're cute. They have like a little bit
Speaker 1: of like a Dalmatian situation going a little bit, but
Speaker 1: the spots aren't as big and uh they are found
Speaker 1: in the Antarctic. Uh. They're very cute until they open
Speaker 1: their huge, terrible mounts. Wow, that isn't unhinge the jaw
Speaker 1: and swallow a pain the whole situation. Their mounts are
Speaker 1: a whole of full of huge teeth and their jaws
Speaker 1: can open so wide they can chow down on an
Speaker 1: entire penguin. Yeah, that's what it looked like. You could
Speaker 1: just swallow the penguin. I think, I mean, I feel
Speaker 1: like that could fit my head in it. I have
Speaker 1: a small head, but I mean too um child side
Speaker 1: sunglasses for me. Ah Yeah, someone knitted a hat and
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this doesn't fit anyone because it's like
Speaker 1: sized for a child. And I put it on. It's
Speaker 1: like roomy yes, um signy head club. Yes, the heads
Speaker 1: that can fit right in a seal. Uh. So they've
Speaker 1: actually been known to attack and even drowned humans. Uh.
Speaker 1: They hate us, Well, I mean we do kind of.
Speaker 1: We just annoyed them. I mean we are destroying the
Speaker 1: planets so yeah, no, no, it's on us. You're right seals,
Speaker 1: you you are correct to harmless seals. But not really
Speaker 1: because like so there was a marine biologist too, was
Speaker 1: just innocently studying and he was killed after being dragged
Speaker 1: two feet below the water by a leopard seal, which
Speaker 1: is just a horrifying way to go. Dude, that is
Speaker 1: really far down. Yes, it's just so it's like just
Speaker 1: being dragged. That is the worst death, being dragged, and
Speaker 1: they're like feeling yourself drowned as you're being dragged. That's
Speaker 1: like I think that's sort of the basis of the
Speaker 1: I think it's called like lassophobia, where it's like that
Speaker 1: fear of the depths and just being dragged into the
Speaker 1: depths of the ocean. I totally get it. That's the
Speaker 1: so creepy quick question. Was the seal mad because he
Speaker 1: was not enjoying being studied That maybe it could have
Speaker 1: been like a situation where it's like like do they
Speaker 1: do that to swimmers? I mean, maybe the steal was
Speaker 1: just following stand your water ground like Kennel standard. There's
Speaker 1: standard laws, stand my water laws. Yes you're in my ocean.
Speaker 1: That's it. Got uh so cuter story. Is that the
Speaker 1: way question? Do they always drag their prey down? Oh?
Speaker 1: They mostly buy them real good. So he really was
Speaker 1: mad at the man. Yeah, I mean I don't know.
Speaker 1: It could be like he may have just been playing
Speaker 1: because they have been known they like they're kind of
Speaker 1: like cats, they like to play with their prey. So
Speaker 1: he may have just been sort of playing around, like oh,
Speaker 1: this is fun as the guys just like panicking and drowning.
Speaker 1: Because these are they're bird seals or psychopaths, they're the
Speaker 1: permanent teenagers. They're they're like the asshole They're like the
Speaker 1: asshole cats of the sea. Um, so this is a
Speaker 1: just a palate cleanser. This cute story. Female leopard seal
Speaker 1: found a wildlife photographer doing uh some photos and uh
Speaker 1: he like when he was fully aware of the dangers
Speaker 1: of leopard seals, so he was like really scared. But
Speaker 1: photographers are weird and that's somehow they can kind of
Speaker 1: dissociate themselves from their fear and just keep taking photos.
Speaker 1: Like I keep hearing this story over and over there,
Speaker 1: like oh this is really scary. IM I'm about to die.
Speaker 1: I better get a good shot, Like I gotta get
Speaker 1: a good frame. That's so crazy. Um, gotta get that
Speaker 1: good composition right before you die. So he was like crap.
Speaker 1: You know, he was pretty scared. But instead of like
Speaker 1: chomping on him or dragging him to his death, she
Speaker 1: kept trying to feed him. So she would take like
Speaker 1: half like these just like dead penguins and like throwing
Speaker 1: them at him, and like she would get increasingly frustrated
Speaker 1: because he kept refusing to eat it, and he thought
Speaker 1: that maybe it was like she thought he was either
Speaker 1: like a malnourished or like a baby seal or something,
Speaker 1: and she was like eat the food, eat the food
Speaker 1: kind of. She's the Jewish mom. Yes, so thin eats.
Speaker 1: Sit down, what are you doing? Where are you going? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my grandma would be like how you need to eat more,
Speaker 1: and then like and then or other times to be
Speaker 1: like oh you look so healthy and full. It's like
Speaker 1: just stop please. Yeah, you know, my family's will be like,
Speaker 1: oh you look fat. God. They didn't mean it in
Speaker 1: a negative way, but that like a positive way. They
Speaker 1: just I just think it's weird to like, uh, bee
Speaker 1: keeping track of my weight is publicly. Yeah, So it's
Speaker 1: not like I'm like mad, I'm just like it's weird
Speaker 1: that you're keeping track. It was I'm not out here
Speaker 1: being like, well, last time you were right at sixty
Speaker 1: two and today you're one. Yeah, it's super weird. And
Speaker 1: I really hate it when, like when my grandma used
Speaker 1: to just shove dead penguins down my mouth. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: it's such a common experience around the dish, Like, god, Grandma,
Speaker 1: I already told you only like the top half of
Speaker 1: the penguin. I do not like the feet. Get it
Speaker 1: away from me. Um. So that also reminds you of
Speaker 1: cats where it's like they give you they keep giving
Speaker 1: you half dead mines because they're trying to teach you.
Speaker 1: And you know seals will teach their young how to
Speaker 1: so it's it's it's pretty. It's a heartwarming story other
Speaker 1: than the times that the seals try to drown us
Speaker 1: and kill us. I like that you don't know if
Speaker 1: they're going to feed you or kill you. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: it's a gamble with seals real. Uh. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like like you could have a game show called make
Speaker 1: a Seal and you gotta make a deal and if
Speaker 1: you choose the wrong seal, you die. Starring Howie Mandel
Speaker 1: and there's no control whatsoever of which contestants could eaten.
Speaker 1: Just Howie Mandel like trying to fight off some seals.
Speaker 1: Watch that. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's a huge
Speaker 1: drummer phobe. So, um, I wonder what he would be
Speaker 1: like in the water. Is like or she was covered
Speaker 1: in a wetsuit and just like fighting seals with that?
Speaker 1: Is that your You've got drama right there. Yeah, Howie
Speaker 1: Mandel Seal Smasher Steal Fighter starring Howie Mandel and The
Speaker 1: Rock as the Seal, Vin Diesel as Elephant Seal one.
Speaker 1: That's like, that's like the that sided of the trifecta
Speaker 1: of like shiny headed boys, bald baldmin yeah, hot tough
Speaker 1: baldmin in club. Yeah. Um, gotta get swoll. You gotta
Speaker 1: lose your hair. You gotta gotta get you swoll if
Speaker 1: you want to be King of the shoal. So there's
Speaker 1: the Scottish Smith of Kelpies. Have you heard of these
Speaker 1: na So there's there's these beautiful shape shifting women who
Speaker 1: are sometimes horses. Um, this is like a Mermaid version. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the version of a Mermaid, Scottish version of the
Speaker 1: Mermaid where they're like horses. Um, so, I guess Scottish
Speaker 1: people kind of want to suck a horse. Well, I
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to suck a fish. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go on the record and say that, but
Speaker 1: you can. Uh so. Uh, these these beautiful creatures, uh
Speaker 1: want to kind of like mermaids and some versions of folklore.
Speaker 1: They want to seduce you, so you go to the
Speaker 1: water and then they grab onto you and drown you.
Speaker 1: Like the elephant seal. You mean, like the leopard seal. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you. Elephant seals are the ones with the big
Speaker 1: old floppity pro They're so fun. They're fun. Uh sorry,
Speaker 1: just took a detour, that's all right. The elephant seals
Speaker 1: always deserve a mention just for how great they are. Um,
Speaker 1: and the sounds they make. They do make good sounds.
Speaker 1: So the myth of the kelpie may have originated from
Speaker 1: just like explaining how otherwise capable, full grown men would
Speaker 1: drown in bodies of water. Um, because it's surprisingly easy
Speaker 1: to drown, especially undertow You can get caught in just
Speaker 1: like a sort of a current that like sucks you under.
Speaker 1: Like I went backpacking last weekend and I was like
Speaker 1: reading all about how the ways you can die and
Speaker 1: seemingly innocent looking streams, and like one way as you
Speaker 1: get like you get sucked through tree roots and then
Speaker 1: you get tangled and you drown. I would love to
Speaker 1: go hiking with you. I normally hate it, but yes,
Speaker 1: you're gonna tell me about all the ways I could
Speaker 1: die beforehand. I would Oh, I definitely google all the
Speaker 1: ways I can possibly die. It's a it's part of
Speaker 1: my anxiety anyways. UM One other explanation for how kelpie
Speaker 1: the myth of the kelpie originated was a weather phenomenon
Speaker 1: called water spouts, where it's like a sort of vortex
Speaker 1: of water that can look like like a living figure.
Speaker 1: I guess if you're drunk enough, maybe you're squinting and
Speaker 1: you haven't seen a woman in a really long right.
Speaker 1: If you're super Scottish, you're very drunk and you see
Speaker 1: like a like a water spout and it's like lassie,
Speaker 1: beautifuls I put my dick in that. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to just scot. I do want to talk about
Speaker 1: a real life kelpie, though, which is what is the
Speaker 1: beautiful and elegant swan? Um? So, swans are sexy. Swans
Speaker 1: are sexy. They're beautiful. They but they're super they are
Speaker 1: like super jock aggro. Like they're always like like you
Speaker 1: want to start some bra bra. They're mean, they're study yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: they're like the mean girls. They mean yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: girls and boys like the males are especially territorial and aggressive,
Speaker 1: especially when defending their nesting sites. So tell me about it.
Speaker 1: I do want to dispel one myth. They cannot typically
Speaker 1: break your legs with their necks or their wings. They
Speaker 1: are strong, They've got very strong nex Oh, I just
Speaker 1: it's just sort of a I think it's just sort
Speaker 1: of an urban legend. Think you made that up? No,
Speaker 1: I didn't. Well, because like my mom, I remember she
Speaker 1: told me the story about how she was at like
Speaker 1: a pond and there was a swan and the swans
Speaker 1: started chasing her, and like she was like running away
Speaker 1: and screaming, and like like bystanders were like laughing at her,
Speaker 1: and some guy was like, oh, it was a good
Speaker 1: thing you ran away from that swan because they can
Speaker 1: like break your legs. I think this is a personal
Speaker 1: urban myth that that man started for. I don't I think,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm pretty sure this is a let
Speaker 1: us know, let us the swan breaking tweet at how
Speaker 1: wrong Sophia is. That would be great. Yeah, please tweet
Speaker 1: at me with how right I am. That's I mean,
Speaker 1: you can do that if you're wrong, but if you're
Speaker 1: one of the smart people who are correct. Anyways, the
Speaker 1: point is they probably can't break your legs like Mafioso's,
Speaker 1: but they will his flat they will. And uh, they
Speaker 1: have drowned a person before, and they will try to
Speaker 1: what how do they drown a person? Well? Um, So
Speaker 1: there was a swan keeper in the plains Iowa sung
Speaker 1: gloss over what swankeeper? Apparently some people keep swans um
Speaker 1: any other bird they asked me to keep. I say
Speaker 1: it designed the swan keeper, the keep of the keys
Speaker 1: to the swans, show the swan, so I may keep them.
Speaker 1: Come HITHERN answer these questions through that so that you
Speaker 1: may see my swans. Um. I think some people like
Speaker 1: to have swans in ponds because they like chase off
Speaker 1: geese and stuff. So uh and swans, I guess we
Speaker 1: don't want geese. Yeah, I guess swans are prettier than geese.
Speaker 1: But swans fox with you just as much as geese.
Speaker 1: So I'm not really sure. It's just kind of treating
Speaker 1: morphine for method one over here, right. I guess Mute
Speaker 1: swans are quieter, but they're still extremely aggressive. Um so
Speaker 1: um uh. So there was a swan keeper who was
Speaker 1: drowned to death by a posse of angry swans. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. They didn't do it alone, swans. Uh. They
Speaker 1: capsized his kayak and they swimming in the vessel. He
Speaker 1: was in a kayak. They knocked him over and then
Speaker 1: they just kept him from swimming to shore and he drowned. Shut.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, and uh, actually Anna just texted me that
Speaker 1: a swan killed a dog as its owner watched on
Speaker 1: in horror as the bird quote beat down on it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Um oh yeah. And it's so it
Speaker 1: killed the dog with its wings, So that's what the fuck? Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're pretty, they're they're powerful animals. Wait, so, how so
Speaker 1: they can communicate their hate to each other to drown
Speaker 1: a person as a group with that's a lot with
Speaker 1: a lot of hissing and flapping. And I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like that's a lot, right that they all could
Speaker 1: like do that together. I mean, I think it's just
Speaker 1: can't get fucking three people to brunch. These fucking swans
Speaker 1: are getting posses to murder people. Just one of them's
Speaker 1: got a switchblade and one of them is just like
Speaker 1: smacking its fist and it's it's wing for real. These
Speaker 1: are some badass snapping their little wing fingers like the
Speaker 1: short side story. Um So, there was also an infamous
Speaker 1: swan in the UK who kept a king rowers and
Speaker 1: was named mr Asbo, which is apparently a word referring
Speaker 1: to the UK acronym quote anti social behavior orders, which
Speaker 1: I guess is from like the I guess it's like
Speaker 1: if someone if a kid is like misbehaving, they can
Speaker 1: send out an anti social behavior order, like stopping the
Speaker 1: kid from like doing that behavior. I'm I'm actually not sure,
Speaker 1: and I apologize that that word is like sort of
Speaker 1: derogatory or something. It's just like we just don't know
Speaker 1: anything about It's just like a British acronym. And so
Speaker 1: they named this swan mr Asbo because he kept attacking
Speaker 1: rowers and boats and trying to capsize boats. Insane. I
Speaker 1: love that instead of removing him, they were just like,
Speaker 1: let's name him. I'm keeping yeah, because if I'm if
Speaker 1: I'm correct, I think you should kill him, but maybe
Speaker 1: move him to where there's no They just like, well,
Speaker 1: let's just call him Mr. Asshole, and like would just
Speaker 1: keep it. I mean, they killed swan keepers, so what
Speaker 1: to the rest of us, Like, we don't stand a chance.
Speaker 1: Why are we eating for that swan to become a murderer.
Speaker 1: I mean it's it is guilty before proven in a sense.
Speaker 1: We're gonna move this swan to where he's not bothered
Speaker 1: by rowers, right, Um, I'm going to start a campaign.
Speaker 1: I mean, to be fair, I feel like the swan
Speaker 1: was there first, so maybe we should move out of that.
Speaker 1: Either of that, I'm just saying because I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that swan is gonna like any attempt to move that swan.
Speaker 1: If I've learned anything from Hot Fuzz, it's impossible. Well,
Speaker 1: I definitely think you have to drug the swan, right,
Speaker 1: and then he just makes up in a beautiful pond
Speaker 1: and there's no rowers. Have you seen Hot Fuzz? Yes,
Speaker 1: but not in the long last time. They like keep
Speaker 1: trying to chase find it swan and get it back
Speaker 1: like a swan that's like on the loose, and then
Speaker 1: like the whole danuma of the thing is when they
Speaker 1: realize it's not just one swan, and it's also not
Speaker 1: just one murderer. But if that, if that movie are
Speaker 1: more accurate, probably the swan would be the murderer the
Speaker 1: whole time. Oh man, that's ultimate twiz and that shan
Speaker 1: is gonna be good money about this. I mean to
Speaker 1: be fair. Statistically speaking, swans don't kill that many people, obviously,
Speaker 1: because it's super newsworthy when a person swans don't kill
Speaker 1: people swan's beaks and people with swans kill people people.
Speaker 1: So we've talked about cute things that can be aggressive,
Speaker 1: but what about cute aggression? So cute aggression is the
Speaker 1: feeling some of us get when we see something cute,
Speaker 1: like an unspeakably adorable puppy, where we get our teeth
Speaker 1: and clinch our fists and go, oh you you'll, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna smash you, want to eat you? So what's up
Speaker 1: with that? Though? The term cute aggression has only been
Speaker 1: popularized since there's a Filipino word called an excuse me
Speaker 1: pronunciation jagil that means quote, the gritting of teeth and
Speaker 1: the urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute.
Speaker 1: So this is called a dimorphous display, meaning there's a
Speaker 1: mismatch between a positive feeling and a typically negative expression,
Speaker 1: sort of like when you're so happy you cry yale.
Speaker 1: Researchers found that people were more likely to pop bubble
Speaker 1: wrap and make aggressive expressions when faced with really cute images.
Speaker 1: They theorize that when you get too overwhelmed by something cute,
Speaker 1: the intensity of the emotions and the strength of the
Speaker 1: caretaker signal short circuits your brain. Both aggression and hugging
Speaker 1: could be approach responses that may be connected in the brain.
Speaker 1: It's just that the cute wato face you have a
Speaker 1: baby puppy overload your brain and mixes up your approach
Speaker 1: signal to go from gently pet to crutching schmoosh. When
Speaker 1: we get back, we'll talk about some innocent looking animals
Speaker 1: that will most certainly crush and smush you. So do
Speaker 1: you have a zoophobia? It's very common a phobia of
Speaker 1: some kind of animal. One of the most common phobias
Speaker 1: is arachnophobia, a fear of spiders, but this may not
Speaker 1: actually be warranted. Only around seven people die a year
Speaker 1: in the US of spider bites, if any at all
Speaker 1: in any given year. So for comparisons, staircases kill over
Speaker 1: a thousand people a year. In fact, when you really
Speaker 1: look at the numbers, some of the animals we fear
Speaker 1: are far less frightening than some we may overlook. Let's
Speaker 1: compare the terrifying shark with the adorable cow. Well, sharks
Speaker 1: kill only about seven people globally a year, whereas cows
Speaker 1: in the US kill around twenty two people a year
Speaker 1: by either stomping or going. Of course, a cow isn't
Speaker 1: inherently more aggressive or dangerous than a shark. Just statistically speaking,
Speaker 1: you're more likely to encounter a murderous cow than a
Speaker 1: murderous shark. But sometimes unexpected animals aren't just statistically more
Speaker 1: likely to kill you, but definitely are gunning for you
Speaker 1: far more than their scarier counterparts. We're about to reveal
Speaker 1: how some animals do you think are dangerous matchup against
Speaker 1: their real unexpected harrors. So we're about to match up
Speaker 1: some animals, and I mean, I think I've probably spoiled
Speaker 1: it with the theme of the episode, But who would
Speaker 1: you think is more dangerous a bear or a moose? Moose,
Speaker 1: you're very You're you're catching onto my whole tricky theme here. Well,
Speaker 1: it's just that I've also seen a moose and it
Speaker 1: was so fucking scary and big I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's gonna funk up this car if it's like charges it.
Speaker 1: And so now I'm like, yeah, fuck a moose. Actually
Speaker 1: a lot of deaths regarding moose happened because they're in
Speaker 1: the road and it's a car accident, and it's just
Speaker 1: the moose is such a huge animal that the impact
Speaker 1: can kill the occupants of the vehicle. Yeah, and also
Speaker 1: the yeah yeah, So Actually, Jesse Coltrane, a wildlife biologists
Speaker 1: told CBS News, quote, assume every moose is a serial
Speaker 1: killer standing in the middle of the trail with a
Speaker 1: loaded gun, which basically describes how capable these animals are
Speaker 1: of killing you. Um. So they're actually not more aggressive
Speaker 1: than bears. Um, but they do outnumber them, so you're
Speaker 1: much more likely to encounter them. Uh. In Alaska, ten
Speaker 1: people are attacked by moose a year, which is more
Speaker 1: than grizzly and black bears attacks combined. Um. Moose are
Speaker 1: generally gentle creatures, but not when they're mad at you.
Speaker 1: Not if you like scare them and they're they're just
Speaker 1: freaking giants. I think if you haven't seen one in person,
Speaker 1: it's hard to even contemplate how big they are. Um,
Speaker 1: So here's some stats. They're heavier than a bear, they're
Speaker 1: taller than a horse, and they can run up to
Speaker 1: thirty five miles per hour. Uh So if you upset
Speaker 1: a moose, you're just not in good shapes over buddy.
Speaker 1: So they will attack when provoked, but also when they're hungry.
Speaker 1: So uh, I really identified with that. Yeah. You know,
Speaker 1: like those those like Snickers commercials were like you turn
Speaker 1: into lies a maneli when you don't eat your Snickers.
Speaker 1: It's like these moose are just always lies a Maneli's
Speaker 1: like going like, ha, I'm big and my god, big knees. No,
Speaker 1: I'm so hungry. It's not really hum liesa moli talks
Speaker 1: really good. Linili, I'm a moose. Can I still do
Speaker 1: a falsey nuck? So if you you should not feed moose,
Speaker 1: and here's one reason. If you feed them and then
Speaker 1: they return to that spot where you fed them and
Speaker 1: they find no more food, they'll be pretty pissed. They'll
Speaker 1: get cranky and aggressive. Um, and when they start licking
Speaker 1: their lips. Uh, that's when you know they're agitated. Um so,
Speaker 1: and it's time to get out of there. When they're gone,
Speaker 1: all cool ja right, And I don't. The main thing
Speaker 1: is like try not to upset a moose, try not
Speaker 1: to like get into a moose's own um. But some
Speaker 1: sources have read have said, like if a moose is
Speaker 1: like just like if you see a moose and it
Speaker 1: looks like, don't approach it and like try to get
Speaker 1: away from it. Um, you want to like leave its territory. Um,
Speaker 1: it's not a predator, so generally speaking, I don't think
Speaker 1: it's gonna necessarily chase you if you like, if you
Speaker 1: scram so like with with some predators, you have to
Speaker 1: be careful because if you like kind of get out
Speaker 1: of there quickly, they will chase you. They're like challenge accepted.
Speaker 1: Like with bears, you're so supposed to kind of back right, Well,
Speaker 1: not always. It depends on the kind of bear. Um,
Speaker 1: some of them you're supposed to. Like with some of
Speaker 1: the smaller bears, like you, I think playing dead is
Speaker 1: more successful. But like with grizzly bears, you're just like
Speaker 1: I think, or actually it might be don't listen to me,
Speaker 1: about bear safety. Just it's not a bear safety because
Speaker 1: it's not a safety podcast. But just like so, depending
Speaker 1: on the type of bear, you either want to back
Speaker 1: away or just ball up into a fetal position to
Speaker 1: protect yourself. And the same thing is true of moose.
Speaker 1: Like if a moose is stomping on you, you're supposed
Speaker 1: to like ball up into a fetal position and hope
Speaker 1: it stops. Um, but you know, John a sad plan.
Speaker 1: Don't take my word for it. Take a moose safety
Speaker 1: course before you tangle with a moose, which I co
Speaker 1: incidentally teach. Maybe that's why you've invited me on. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, your mooth safety court. Of course. It's like
Speaker 1: just like grab first of all, grab the moose by
Speaker 1: the testicles. I mean, um, like I said, it's a
Speaker 1: finger up the butt and fist up the butt for
Speaker 1: the moose because it's very big. Don't don't never listen
Speaker 1: to don't listen to either of us. I'm Smedian. I
Speaker 1: have nothing to offer. There is a value. Don't stick
Speaker 1: a finger up a moose's But I can't believe I
Speaker 1: have to say this again. Um, just don't mess with moose.
Speaker 1: They're very big and they're they're tanks, and they'll they'll
Speaker 1: they'll they'll will give you they'll deliver good ass. What
Speaker 1: unto you is that? Um? So we mentioned to rachnophobia. Um,
Speaker 1: what what sort of uh small what small creature uh
Speaker 1: do you think could be as like? What other insect
Speaker 1: whether they're small creature do you think could be as
Speaker 1: dangerous as a spider? I mean so many things bite right,
Speaker 1: like sucking red ants bite like so many little tiny
Speaker 1: things by things that fly, I don't know, wasps, different
Speaker 1: kinds of I mean, wasps and bees are actually more
Speaker 1: dangerous than spiders. Um. And there are some ants that,
Speaker 1: while they're not necessarily deadly, the bullet ant will deliver
Speaker 1: an extremely painful bite that is, as its name kind
Speaker 1: of implies, feels like a bullet um. But actually, uh,
Speaker 1: freshwater snails are far more dangerous than tarantula's other venomous
Speaker 1: spiders or even bees and wasps. Um. So, most spiders
Speaker 1: and tarantulas are pretty shy, and many of them are
Speaker 1: not even like, they don't even have a venom, and
Speaker 1: even those that do, most of them aren't deadly to humans. Um.
Speaker 1: So rarely do spider bites cause death? Um, some years
Speaker 1: there are just no recorded spider bite fatalities um fatality,
Speaker 1: even in Australia, home of like just every animal that
Speaker 1: wants to murder you. Uh, there hadn't been a recorded
Speaker 1: fatality from spider bites for like almost forty years until
Speaker 1: when someone was killed by a redback spider um. And
Speaker 1: the statistics on spider bites are kind of hard to
Speaker 1: come by because it's hard to like diagnose to spider bite.
Speaker 1: But suffice it to say, it's not like an epidemic.
Speaker 1: Fatalities are likely to be in the single digits in
Speaker 1: the US per year um, and some years there's just
Speaker 1: like no no fatalities at Also, it's like an average
Speaker 1: over years, and I think I mentioned before it's around
Speaker 1: like like six or seven a year, and then globally
Speaker 1: it's probably pretty similar. But freshwater snails can cause snail fever,
Speaker 1: which is also known as and here we go, just
Speaker 1: toso maassis. That sounds really good. I trust you more
Speaker 1: than me on that one. I just had confidence that
Speaker 1: was really misplaced about this. Let's call it snail fever.
Speaker 1: Snail fever. We got a case of snail faver. Uh.
Speaker 1: It's caused by a parasitic flatworm found inside the snails.
Speaker 1: Um So, I guess you could actually blame the flatworm.
Speaker 1: That's not right, it's sort of a nesting doll of
Speaker 1: bad um. Uh So. The World Health Organization estimates that
Speaker 1: more than two hundred thousand deaths UH per year are
Speaker 1: due to freshwater snails worldwide. UM. The diseases found in
Speaker 1: tropical countries in Africa, the Caribbean, South America, Southeast Asia,
Speaker 1: and the Middle East. Um and most of the deaths
Speaker 1: occur in continental Africa. Um. And it's just like like
Speaker 1: it's sort of back to the cone snail where it's
Speaker 1: just very innocent. You don't think of snails as deadly.
Speaker 1: Um and yet they are way just in terms of
Speaker 1: numbers of deaths, they're way more deadly than spiders. All
Speaker 1: I think about them when you say snail, I think
Speaker 1: about accidentally stepping on that. Yeah, I know why I
Speaker 1: didn't see you. Why would you be in my past?
Speaker 1: I know? I hate it. UM. I had Katie willert
Speaker 1: On and she's like she likes to rescue snails because
Speaker 1: she's just like, oh, imagine like you're so slow moving
Speaker 1: and then like God comes in and like picks you
Speaker 1: up and put you to safety. Um, but I I
Speaker 1: feel really guilty when I step on a snail. It's
Speaker 1: also not it's a hat gross, it's nasty. It makes
Speaker 1: me feel bad, which is like the worst sound I know.
Speaker 1: It's just like is that a fredo? Oh? No? And
Speaker 1: like I usually, you know, if you can see them,
Speaker 1: you're always like, oh, let me move you around right away, buddy.
Speaker 1: But they also don't like to be moved, and you
Speaker 1: like pull them and you're like, no, it's for good.
Speaker 1: I used to collect a bunch of snail, like when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I would like collect so many
Speaker 1: snails and then like but like they when you have
Speaker 1: too many snails, it just makes your hand smell gross.
Speaker 1: What do they smell like? Snails? Just gross? Just gross.
Speaker 1: They smell gross when there's too many of them and
Speaker 1: they're all pooping on you, it's not good. What's their poop? Like?
Speaker 1: It's a little little little black sort of like brownish
Speaker 1: little tiny a goo. It's kind of goo, I guess,
Speaker 1: like sort of just like a little strands. So no,
Speaker 1: it's more like fish pooh or it's just like a
Speaker 1: little strands because I don't know what pish fish pooze
Speaker 1: like at all strands of grossness. Also, when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I according to my mom, when I was
Speaker 1: like a toddler, I would eat raw snails from the
Speaker 1: garden to stick them in my mouth and eat them
Speaker 1: so uh and she knew because I had like snail
Speaker 1: shell all over my mouth when I would like, come
Speaker 1: o god. Um, so maybe this is payback for eating
Speaker 1: the eating snails, like some kind of karmic payback. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's it's a it's actually it's like a really
Speaker 1: serious uh disease that causes a lot of death. And
Speaker 1: it's interesting to me because we we have such a
Speaker 1: cultural fear of spiders, but we don't know as it's
Speaker 1: just there's not as much information that is in the
Speaker 1: popular media about things like deaths caused by these these
Speaker 1: parasitic flatworms found in these innocuous looking snails. Mild I know.
Speaker 1: So you know how the Lion King is out right now?
Speaker 1: I have I have to admit I have not seen
Speaker 1: the one yet. I have seen the old one. It's
Speaker 1: a delightful. It's a delightful romp that is super inaccurate. Um.
Speaker 1: So we're going to correct the record about some lion things.
Speaker 1: But first hippos versus lions, who do you think is
Speaker 1: the bigger badass hip size size wise, but also just
Speaker 1: attitude wise and everything wise. Really um so, uh, just
Speaker 1: some of the numbers that I could scraunge up between
Speaker 1: two thousand four UM on average, only around forty people
Speaker 1: were killed per year in uh Tanzania, UM, which is
Speaker 1: the country with one of the largest populations of lions. Um.
Speaker 1: And sort of I couldn't find really good statistics on this,
Speaker 1: but sort of the upper estimate that I found of
Speaker 1: total deaths per year of line from like line attacks
Speaker 1: is around two that's you know, that's actually that's a
Speaker 1: pretty good amount of lot. Yeah. Well, hippo's kill about
Speaker 1: five hundred people per year in Africa. They are just
Speaker 1: all about They are very intense type a personality. So
Speaker 1: historically the Zulu people of southern Africa have recognized the
Speaker 1: hippo's clear dominance over lions. Uh. There's an old folk
Speaker 1: song that goes, quote, he is a lion, yet he
Speaker 1: is better than a lion. He is a hippopotamus. Yes,
Speaker 1: And so they were savvy to how much better hippos
Speaker 1: were a just pure tank tank nitude. Um. So they're
Speaker 1: extremely aggressive towards humans. Um. They'll often capsize boats and bite, crush,
Speaker 1: or drown the humans in them. Uh. In two thousand fourteen,
Speaker 1: a hippo attacked a boat in Eastern I think it
Speaker 1: was so it was in a Niger and it killed
Speaker 1: thirteen people, which was almost everyone on board. Wow. Um.
Speaker 1: They'll also raid crops near their territory, and they'll kill
Speaker 1: humans who try to stop up them because I guess
Speaker 1: they love corn. It doesn't come to cook out hippos.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they actually what kind of crops
Speaker 1: they prefer, but I have seen them like just crush
Speaker 1: entire watermelons in their little mouths. They're so cute at
Speaker 1: the zoo too. They like they're like they're cute. They're
Speaker 1: just like these you imagine they're from the Disney like
Speaker 1: the you know that the Fantasia thing where they're all
Speaker 1: ballerinas and they're like dancing around and they're adorable. Uh.
Speaker 1: But you know, they weigh up to four thousand pounds,
Speaker 1: which is about as much as a large suv. Um.
Speaker 1: They can open their mouths at an hundred eighty degree
Speaker 1: angle and listen to this. It has a bite strength
Speaker 1: of two thousand pounds per square inch, So for comparison,
Speaker 1: lions only have about six hundred fifty pounds per square
Speaker 1: inch of jaw force. Um. And their teeth. The hippo's
Speaker 1: teeth can reach lengths of over a foot long, and
Speaker 1: they're purely they're for combat and sexual competition and defense. Um.
Speaker 1: They're not really used that much for eating. Um. Their
Speaker 1: back molars are what are used for that. So um.
Speaker 1: They also are we think of them as kind of blunt,
Speaker 1: like when you think of sort of the Disney cartoon.
Speaker 1: They're just sort of like blunt cylinders, but that is
Speaker 1: not true. Um. They are self sharpening as they scrape
Speaker 1: against each other in their jaw. And so I have
Speaker 1: a creeure of a hippo skool, so you can see
Speaker 1: just how sharp they are. You can see, yeah, they
Speaker 1: come to points um and I'll probably post this picture
Speaker 1: up on our on our various sites. Are in the footnotes,
Speaker 1: but you can see it's like their their teeth are
Speaker 1: serious business. They are sharp. Um. Uh. So they are
Speaker 1: way more dangerous than lions. Uh, not just statistically, but
Speaker 1: also just like I mean, I would kind of rather
Speaker 1: fight a lion than a hippo. I think if you
Speaker 1: it's you versus hippo, there's no chance. If it's you
Speaker 1: versus lion, well there's still no chances. But I feel
Speaker 1: like maybe I could discourage the lion eventually, if I
Speaker 1: survived long enough, the lion might think it's not worth it.
Speaker 1: Maybe depends depends on how sweet or flesh is, right,
Speaker 1: And also like if I can do sort of a
Speaker 1: Liam Nissan thing, right, attach a bunch of like little
Speaker 1: broken like um sort of wine bottles like or not wine,
Speaker 1: you know those a little tiny those liquor bottles that
Speaker 1: you get the little the little uh like travel liquors
Speaker 1: or the like when the mini fridge. So if I
Speaker 1: had a mini fridge and I could just use the
Speaker 1: weapons that I can craft from a mini fridge with
Speaker 1: a little tiny Schmirnoff like things, I would love to
Speaker 1: know where you are that there's a lion and also
Speaker 1: a mini fridge full of obviously vegas. Yeah. Um, so,
Speaker 1: speaking of lions, I wanted to cap off this show
Speaker 1: to uh kind of correct the record about lions because
Speaker 1: like they're obviously one of the most fear animals or
Speaker 1: at least considered to be these very fearsome. Uh, and
Speaker 1: the lion king is spreading some mistruths about lions. Actually,
Speaker 1: since I haven't seen the new one, I don't know
Speaker 1: if they correct it, And this one I kind of
Speaker 1: doubt it. You know, I don't think anybody was screaming
Speaker 1: about the inaccuracy of the first one. I was my
Speaker 1: loan voice screaming out um. And I actually so I was.
Speaker 1: I was helping out the Bechtel cows with us too,
Speaker 1: because they wanted, uh, they wanted some hot tips about
Speaker 1: the lion king, so I gave them this. So you
Speaker 1: may have already heard, uh, some of these these really important,
Speaker 1: this very hot take I have on lions. If you
Speaker 1: listen to the test or yeah, if you or if
Speaker 1: you haven't listened to it yet, go listen to their
Speaker 1: their podcast. It's brilliant. Um. So, first of all, let's
Speaker 1: talk about lion king and gender dynamics. Yes, so prides
Speaker 1: are often thought to only contain one male in like
Speaker 1: a harem of females. But this isn't totally accurate. So
Speaker 1: there's a certain sort of subspecies of lions called savo lions,
Speaker 1: and they they do typically only contain a single adult
Speaker 1: male as a rule. Most other subspecies of a lions
Speaker 1: have prides uh, and there can be one male, but
Speaker 1: they can have up to four males and they're typically
Speaker 1: brothers UM. And typically there is one dominant male who
Speaker 1: is allowed to mate uh and then there's several females
Speaker 1: in their cubs. So another kind of thing. I think
Speaker 1: that the line king gives this impression that the male
Speaker 1: lions are in charge and they're sort of the political
Speaker 1: leaders of the pride, and that's just not true. So
Speaker 1: it's true that male lions are bigger and more powerful
Speaker 1: than their female counterparts, but female lions make up the
Speaker 1: core of a pride. UH. So males can come and
Speaker 1: go um a dominant alpha male and the pride will
Speaker 1: eventually be ousted by a younger, more fit male or
Speaker 1: males who will take a tenure at the pride. So
Speaker 1: it's just it's like a revolving door of male lions
Speaker 1: basically UM. And it's not nepotistic. So his son isn't
Speaker 1: going to take over like Simba in the Lion King UM. Instead,
Speaker 1: Simba would probably go off and try to find his
Speaker 1: own pride. He'd get like kicked out when he was
Speaker 1: a teenager and then go off, and it's hard to say,
Speaker 1: like who's in charge of a lion pride. Both females
Speaker 1: and males have roles, Like females do a lot of
Speaker 1: cub rearing and they do the majority of the hunting. Um. Which,
Speaker 1: like that's another thing I think in the Lion King
Speaker 1: to which is the one with have you did you
Speaker 1: see the other lion kings or just the one lion
Speaker 1: king the only one. There's like a couple of sequels
Speaker 1: less are now And there's one where it's like Simba's
Speaker 1: daughter like meets like this bad boy lion who's like
Speaker 1: scars sons as dumb. But you know, so like this
Speaker 1: this boy lion Covu teaches Simba's daughter how to hunt,
Speaker 1: and that just doesn't make any sense. Like females are
Speaker 1: way better at hunting than male even despite their smaller size.
Speaker 1: They're much more proficion in hunting. Um. Maybe because of
Speaker 1: their smaller size. I think it's also the social social
Speaker 1: they're much more social. There's a lot more sort of
Speaker 1: like learning from each other and working as a group.
Speaker 1: They're more um they have a lot more sort of
Speaker 1: communication building, team building. Yeah, um, and so much so
Speaker 1: that actually prize our thought of as being matriarchal societies
Speaker 1: because the permanent social structure is maintained by females, whereas
Speaker 1: the presence of any one male is temporary. UM. So
Speaker 1: another this is one you may have heard of, which
Speaker 1: uh is kind of gross, but in the Lion King UM,
Speaker 1: in the structure that they have set up, Nola and
Speaker 1: Simba would either be half siblings or cousins because as
Speaker 1: you notice, like there's Scar and Mufasa are the only
Speaker 1: lions UM and probably the way it works, like usually
Speaker 1: there's just one dominant male who will mate, so probably
Speaker 1: they would be half siblings um. And so it makes
Speaker 1: no sense for them to get together in the end
Speaker 1: um because like typically that genetic bottleneck of inbreeding is
Speaker 1: avoided by a dispersal where the male lions prefer to
Speaker 1: move away from their uh natal pride uh in order
Speaker 1: to seek a new prider territory. So the most accurate
Speaker 1: the movie got was when Simba like moved away from
Speaker 1: the pride. But and it's like if he never came back,
Speaker 1: like Scar had suggested, that would be way better because
Speaker 1: then he's not going to be in greening and yeah,
Speaker 1: and like dwindling the genetic pool to like, Yeah, it's nasty. Um. Also,
Speaker 1: females will gang up on intruder males who attempt to
Speaker 1: take control of a pride. So if Scarr tried to,
Speaker 1: you know, pull what he did, like, the female lines
Speaker 1: would probably kill him. And he's like kind of scrawny,
Speaker 1: so they probably could kill him. Um and uh so UM.
Speaker 1: Just a few more uh short notes about the lion
Speaker 1: king Raffii. It is called a baboon in the movie,
Speaker 1: He's not He's a mandril. Um. Mandrels were once thought
Speaker 1: to be baboons, but they now have their own genus,
Speaker 1: so that's wrong. Hyenas would never work with lions. Lions
Speaker 1: eat hyena cubs and sometimes vice versa, and lions will
Speaker 1: also steal hyena kills, so hyenas are not purely scavengers. Um. So.
Speaker 1: Sometimes hyenas will steal lion kills if they can get
Speaker 1: up on them, but often lions are the ones stealing
Speaker 1: hyena kills. Um. And hyenas are matriarchal uh so they're
Speaker 1: actually a lot more nepotistic than lions. Where Um, females
Speaker 1: uh daughter will take control, like we'll have dominance over
Speaker 1: the pack. Um so actually, if you were placed move faster,
Speaker 1: Simba and Scar with female hyenas, the movie would suddenly
Speaker 1: become way more accurate. Um right now, I know, like
Speaker 1: do a move on dot Org thing where the lion
Speaker 1: king is replaced with female hyenas. And in contrast, female
Speaker 1: lions are actually a lot more democratic and egalitarians, so
Speaker 1: it would not be a monarchy that doesn't make any sense. Uh,
Speaker 1: And real lions would eat fucking Zazoo like in the
Speaker 1: first It's just it's ridiculous, like that hornbill would be.
Speaker 1: It would be just like an order of Really, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even notice, just wouldn't even pay attention to that
Speaker 1: annoying British voice, just like, hey, Mr Kane, we we've
Speaker 1: got a problem. And you know, I'm such a worry
Speaker 1: what and they just eat them? I mean, I think
Speaker 1: Scar did try. Scars the real hero. He's really trying to, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, he's trying to feed the hyenas. He's trying
Speaker 1: to like get some equality with the hyenas, and he's
Speaker 1: trying to eat the hornbill is as God intended. I
Speaker 1: mean hashtag Scar did nothing wrong. Yeah, I didn't know
Speaker 1: I would come here and tried to keep Simba from
Speaker 1: inbreeding scars the real Tarro, I mean, and honestly, I
Speaker 1: just could never forgive him for mu Fosta's death. So
Speaker 1: I just feel like all of this is sacrilegious. I mean,
Speaker 1: but that's also very normal line behavior, like killing the
Speaker 1: alpha male. Look, I wish Mufossa was my dad. Okay,
Speaker 1: I wish the guy who voices Mufossa was my It's
Speaker 1: like my cool grandpa or my cool uncle. You know.
Speaker 1: James Earl Jones. Yea, his voice is amazing. It's it's
Speaker 1: like such a good voice. God if I if I like,
Speaker 1: I would love to grow up listening to that voice
Speaker 1: every night, going like like good night, Luke, um your
Speaker 1: He never actually says Luca, I am your father. He
Speaker 1: just says, no, Luke, I am your father. Because couple
Speaker 1: really always get it wrong. Yeah, because yeah, so you know,
Speaker 1: James Earl Jones, Is he a lion? Is he an
Speaker 1: actual lion? What James Earl Jones like real life? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not a man but a lion? Yeah, I believe it. Nice? Nice?
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? Uh? They can find me
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram. Um At the Sophia spelled s O,
Speaker 1: f I, y A and uh I co host a
Speaker 1: podcast about love and sexuality around the world with Nasty
Speaker 1: gross sorry who's it with Corty Kozak and it's called
Speaker 1: Private Parts amount gross, sick, disgusting. How dare you? So?
Speaker 1: You can find us on the internet at so there's
Speaker 1: Creature feature pod dot com. That's our website. Um. You
Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at Creature feet Pod and
Speaker 1: on Instagram at Creature Feature Pod. I'm Katie Golden. You
Speaker 1: can find me on Twitter at Katie Golden and also
Speaker 1: of Birds Times at Twitter. So pro bird rights, follow that,
Speaker 1: support avian rights and support the eventual takeover of the
Speaker 1: government five birds. Thank you so much for listening. If
Speaker 1: you're enjoying the show, please smash that like and subscribe.
Speaker 1: Wait that's isn't that's not that's not a podcast thing,
Speaker 1: but you know, r review it, subscribe it, smash it,
Speaker 1: uh and just like love your animals, Love animals, go
Speaker 1: to go to your natural history museum, support the Earth
Speaker 1: recycle reuse and do not inject yourself with cone snail venom.
Speaker 1: All right, bye, you guys, see you next Wednesday. And
Speaker 1: thanks to the Space Classics for their awesome song ex Alumina,