1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Okay, so I have to start this week because this 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 1: is a success story. Is this an a casual success 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: we had? Is that like the opposite of acting casual 4 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: like we're acting like solving crimes all day? Is what 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: it feels like? And is it actually? Is it? Um? 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: We keep saying a success? Is it a sex sex? 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: A sex sense? If you was a sex success? This 8 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: is from last week. We read a story from a 9 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: girl named Molly, A lady named Molly, sorry for calling 10 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: you a girl. Um, she was struggling in a relationship. 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: She was hooking up with and um, chef. It was 12 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: in an ex though, but he was kind of an 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: X then he was like he basically the only god, 14 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: she said she's ever been in love with. And um, 15 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 1: he was engaged maybe married, I can't even remember. She 16 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: tells us in this thing also had knocked up the 17 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: girl and Molly was still hooking up with him, feeling 18 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: very guilty about it, and so she asked for our advice. 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: We gave it, and we told Molly she has stopped. 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: She had to stop because she deserved more, not because 21 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: she was doing something wrong, Because she deserved I mean right, 22 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: She knew she was doing something right. Now, So we 23 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 1: didn't even We weren't telling that, we weren't judging her, 24 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: We were saying that she deserves you deserve more, Molly. 25 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: So she actually wrote us back this week, and I 26 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: wanted to share with everyone how Molly is doing. Hi, Kelly, 27 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: just wanted to give you an update. When I heard 28 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 1: that that I was on the podcast last week, I 29 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: was mortified and absolutely sick to my stomach. Actually can't 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: believe I have left him to do this and let 31 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: left him, let him do this and let it get 32 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: this bad. A lot has changed over the weekend and 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: I had to come a come to Jesus moment. I 34 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: have since told him that we are done. Go Molly. 35 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: He agreed that things needed to change, but I had 36 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: to be firm and strong in my words. He knows 37 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,639 Speaker 1: I meant business. I've deleted and blocked him from my phone, 38 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: social media and have no way to contact him. No 39 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: more a hookups ever in all caps. He needs to 40 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: be at home with his wife. He actually had gotten married. Um, 41 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: I just didn't know and soon to be sun next month. 42 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: That poor girl back at home. Molly's a liar, This 43 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: guy's a douche. No more eating in his restaurant and 44 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: no more contact, and I just like that girl at home. 45 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: I feel terrible for her. Molly. I'm like happy for 46 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 1: you that you got away from this dude, and I don't. 47 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I don't feel terrible for her 48 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: because of Molly. I feel terrible she married. Yes, she said, 49 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: you guys are right. I need someone to treat me 50 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: like a queen. It's not fair to me or to 51 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: his family. I really think I just needed to blurt 52 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: it out and get it off my chest. Thanks for 53 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: allowing me to do it. The girls at the hospital 54 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: I work at have been telling me for months that 55 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: I deserve more, but I just always sold myself short. 56 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: I guess I just needed to humiliate myself in order 57 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: to make it right. This Spokane girl is going to 58 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: hold her head up high. Maybe if I'm away from 59 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,399 Speaker 1: that nonsense, I'll be able to find someone who actually 60 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: loves me. I just thought you needed an update because 61 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 1: Friday's episode sent me into a deep, dark spiral. Hate 62 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: that part of this, but this weekend was a nightmare 63 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,119 Speaker 1: of emotions. Hopefully my story can be made for good, 64 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 1: not evil, and who knows, maybe there's someone else out there. 65 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: Who just needs to look themselves in the mirror and 66 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: believe that they are worthy. I hope you had a 67 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: happy birthday. Cheers to the best year yet. I am 68 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: proud of Molly. I'm so proud of Molly. I'm so 69 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: proud of us. I'm just kidding success, but no, honestly, Molly, 70 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: I'm so proud and I'm so glad that we could 71 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: help you at all. The biggest message in all of 72 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: this is that you deserve more, and um, you deserve 73 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: to be with a guy who's gonna love you and 74 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: make you his girl and make you his priority, Like 75 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: I don't need to be second back. I love what 76 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: she's The analogy that she said about like holding her 77 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: head high, yes, because whether or not she probably realized it, 78 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: she probably was like looking down. She was feeling down 79 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: about herself. She's going to I mean, if bars are 80 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: ever open again, but she's gonna be able to walk 81 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: into bars and restaurants like tit's up, shoulders back, head 82 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: held high, and some dude's gonna see her and she's 83 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: she's going to find the right guy. I believe in that. 84 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: Good job, Molly. That's our sixth seccess story of the week. 85 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: We need to trademark that. I'm gonna verbally trademark um. 86 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: Maybe that's our next T shirt. Our merch is so good, 87 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: it's hand of cleeved. What was the other one? Try anal? 88 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: Tried to anal? Question mark like got milk? That's right? 89 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: Tried anal? All right, I'm a little out of it today. 90 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I will tell you I've just been struggling 91 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: a bit lately. Corona Coaster. Does it hit you? God? 92 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I don't even know what day it is. Well, 93 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: it's Thursday. I would have said tuesday if you asked me, 94 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: right exactly. I still feel like I keep feeling this, 95 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna get REVVD up, I'm gonna get going. 96 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: Life is going back to normal. And then you know, 97 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: like I have work that gets booked and then it's 98 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: like in one day ship just like goes away again, 99 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 1: and it's like, no, we need to retract backed phases 100 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,479 Speaker 1: and everyone. It's like when I'll watch the numbers, I 101 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: get I can get kind of dark because it just like, 102 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: where is there an end in sight with this? I 103 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 1: think it's gonna take moving to another country. Oh my god, 104 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna move to New York if they'll let me in. 105 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 1: He's the only one who I think is doing it right. 106 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: That that's another story anyway. UM, Yeah, it's just I've 107 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: just been on a little bit of a Corona coaster. 108 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: But we did want to go ahead and get to 109 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: the topics that we had mentioned a couple of weeks ago. 110 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: Um I had talked about this on my Instagram and 111 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: I asked four different questions I'm pretty sure, which then 112 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: ended up being very overwhelming in my d m s. 113 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: But we have a lot of different thoughts about aging 114 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: and dating, and some of that was the questions, some 115 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: of that some of that questions. Some of those questions 116 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: included sex and sex and aging and like does it 117 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: get better and does it get better when you've been 118 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: in a relationship along time or does it get worse? 119 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: And I got mixed messages, and honestly, some of the 120 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: answers I was shocked by. But we're gonna do that 121 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 1: in a different podcast this week. We wanted to start 122 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: with the topic of do you guys feel pressured to 123 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: be married or settled by a certain age? And you 124 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 1: and I have talked about this a lot because as 125 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: a boy it's very different than what a girl might feel, 126 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:33,799 Speaker 1: and those pressures seem extremely different. I wonder do boys 127 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: even feel it at all? Um, I don't think so. 128 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: I mean I certainly haven't. I mean, the whole biological 129 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 1: clock thing is, I don't think it really exists for guys. Um. 130 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: And you know I've I've said this before too. I 131 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: think geographically, the you know, the needs change. Like I 132 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: think that when you live in a smaller town or 133 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: smaller city or whatever, you feel there is a pressure 134 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: to probably be married soon. But I don't know that 135 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 1: it's because you have this drive to have kids and 136 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: some of the same sort of things that women are 137 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: dealing with, because our bodies changes, would get older. Um. 138 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: But honestly, I feel like most guys, if they could, 139 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: would get married right, would just do that single life thing. 140 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: You know. That doesn't mean I think they're Look, it's 141 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: I think I can't make a blanket statement about it 142 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: because I'm sure there are plenty of doing and actually 143 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: really just got me anxious. My stomach is, like, um, no, 144 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: I think that. Look, I think that there's definitely guys 145 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: out there that want kids. It's like kids are fun, 146 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: you know, But as an uncle kind. Yeah, I mean you. No, 147 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: I don't think that guys don't want to have wives. 148 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: It's like, look, I see when I see people that 149 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: are in great relationships, like they are best friends, you know, like, 150 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: and who doesn't who doesn't want that? You know? I 151 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: think that the the the desire to know, more like 152 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: the need to put a timeline on it, I think 153 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: is what causes people to funk up and not find 154 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: their best friend and then do it right. I think 155 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: if the goal were to find your best friend and 156 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: then get married when you found your best friend, then 157 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: we would the divorce rate would probably be a little 158 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: bit lower. Yeah, it's like I mean, I think I 159 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 1: kind of went on a ring about this a couple 160 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: of weeks ago, and again as I listened to you talk, like, 161 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: oh my god, God, I wish I had a dick. 162 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: It would be so freaking easy, you guys. It's just like, 163 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I'm like miss female empowerment and stuff. 164 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,199 Speaker 1: But I try not to be like super like hated 165 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: to guys. I have a difficult time because I just 166 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: this isn't fair. But this is how it feels. I'm 167 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: just gonna say it. I just don't feel like you 168 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,559 Speaker 1: guys have to face so many of the pressure that 169 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: we face on a day to day and then like 170 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: we still show up and like do all these things. 171 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: Let's this is well. I always say, like women are 172 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: fucking superheroes are superheroes. Um. Look, I've often thought about 173 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: the fact that, like with the advent of sperm banks, 174 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: the world doesn't need men anymore. Oh I've said the 175 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: same thing. Wish that I was a lesbian. They are necessary. 176 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: I mean, men aren't necessary for the continuation of the world, um, 177 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: in terms of reproduction, because maybe we'll just things get dicey. Um. Well, 178 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: And it's kind of like what we talked about last week. 179 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: We were talking about vibrators. I mean, you guys are 180 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: like a losing out there to technology. But no. But 181 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: the thing is too is I think that in the 182 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: in the same way like a woman should not just 183 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: get married because she wants to have a kid either. 184 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: It's like find your best friend, Like, because the idea 185 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: of marriage is that it's forever, and you want that's 186 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: what you want, is that forever sort of relationship thing. 187 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 1: But you all have that biological thing that's inside me 188 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: that I can't wrap my head around literally crying. I've 189 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: just made Kelly cry. You guys, I guess I didn't talk. 190 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: So I mean what I'm saying though, is my perspective 191 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,079 Speaker 1: is a little different because I don't have that thing 192 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:37,679 Speaker 1: inside me that is pushing me to do that. Right, well, 193 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,839 Speaker 1: I think the deal is, like it's not seriously about 194 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 1: crying and act casual like that's happening right now. I'm 195 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: not even be a messing. And that's the worst part 196 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: about Um. This topic is very for me. But yeah, 197 00:10:54,520 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: fu nine um. But I think it's like really frustrating 198 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: because you know, I've talked about this a lot on 199 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 1: this podcast, but there's like the impertility struggles and also 200 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: feeling like, you know, I had a career, I was 201 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: chasing and wanting a relationship and wanting in that kind 202 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: of thing, but like not finding the person to do 203 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 1: that with. And I mean I've been I'm kind of 204 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: like a serial monogamoust. I would say, like I've pretty 205 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: consistently been in relationship, like long term relationships in my life, 206 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: but I cannot there is something in my wiring that 207 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: if it is not right, I will not get married, 208 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,959 Speaker 1: and like that sucks in some ways. Because like you know, 209 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: now I'm facing the struggle of just I want a 210 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: kid and I want kids, and is that even going 211 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: to be an option? And like there's a high likelihood no. 212 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: But then like you don't want to force a relationship 213 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: like you're saying, and this pressure of just like I 214 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: have to make a decision sort of now about this stuff. 215 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:00,080 Speaker 1: And I've never imagined myself doing it by myself, Like 216 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: it's not something you want to do by yourself. Like 217 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 1: I think that people get strong enough and they do 218 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: it by themselves. But then you can find ways to 219 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: be empowered in that. But you want a partner in that, 220 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: and like not only because that's what we're raised in, 221 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,079 Speaker 1: but it just makes everything way easier. I think you 222 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: have a supportive partner and a buddy in that, Like 223 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 1: you're saying, find your best friend, like you want your 224 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: support system, and like even if you have a really 225 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: supportive friend group, no one's actually in it with you 226 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: if they're not your partner, even as an uncle, I'm not, like, right, 227 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 1: you can leave whenever you want, but like the diaper's 228 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: got to be clean when you know, schedule it out 229 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 1: so there's no popes them. Yeah, and like that's something 230 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: I'm facing at this point in my life majorly. And like, 231 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: you know, I've talked a lot about like being in 232 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 1: a relationship with a guy with two kids, and that's 233 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: been awesome and it's filled a hole for me and 234 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: all this stuff, but like we've kind of come to 235 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: like a thing with like is he gonna want more kids? 236 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: And like he's that's just like not where he thought 237 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: he would be in his life, and that sucks because 238 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: I love him so much. So like, how do you 239 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: make these decisions? You know? Yeah, I mean, look, I 240 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: think that, um, trying to paint the picture of your 241 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: life how it looks in the future, it's a really 242 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 1: like it can be a dangerous thing to do because 243 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: all we have is today. You know, Like if we're 244 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: if we're constantly living for like this idea of what 245 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: we want tomorrow to look like we're gonna be, We're 246 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: gonna often feel really disappointed because today doesn't always serve tomorrow. Um. 247 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: And I think that's painting it kind of with a 248 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: broad brushstrokes. But I do think that, like, look, there 249 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: are lots of ways to have children. You know, you've 250 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: tried fertility stuff. Everyone knows that sort of saga of 251 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: your life. There's adoption, there are these girls that are 252 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: already in your life, like you're ways to sort of 253 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: fill that void and um and get you what you 254 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: ultimately want at the end of the day. It's like 255 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: when you when you arrive at having children in your life, 256 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: it can look different and then you'll check that box. 257 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: It'll be like, whit, this is what I wanted and 258 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: now I have it. You just have this idea of 259 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: how you want to arrive at it that makes it 260 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 1: really difficult. And that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have 261 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 1: dreams and you shouldn't try and make it your reality. 262 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 1: You absolutely should. I think it's sort of what you said, 263 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: he said earlier when we kind of touched on this 264 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: before we got into this podcast, and that really good. 265 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: A cried then, but you said, you know, it's that thing. 266 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: It's that feeling where you don't want to look back 267 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: on your life and not and feel like, I wonder 268 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: if that's always been my thing. It's like, you know, 269 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: there's a lot of grief that comes with being told 270 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: no in any aspect of your life, right, and like 271 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: especially this because there's genuinely not that much you can 272 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: do to control it. You can buy this stuff, you 273 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: can do all these shots, you can try all these 274 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: amazing procedures that we have available in these days. However, 275 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: if your body isn't going to work for that, like 276 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: doctors cannot force it to. It's just a fact. That's 277 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 1: what happened for me with the egg freezing. And um, 278 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: I think that that is a huge thing of like, 279 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, what if I don't actually try to 280 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 1: just get pregnant? And I mean that for me is 281 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: probably gonna involve like IVF and stuff like that. But like, 282 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: if I don't try, am I going to look back 283 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 1: when I'm hopefully eighty hopefully I'm like make it really 284 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: high like that. But like that, I go, God, I 285 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: wonder what that would I have ever gotten pregnant or 286 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: like what, you know, am I missing some part of 287 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: my life? Or am I alone at that part of 288 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: my life? And I was like, you know, like you 289 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: just think that way, And it's so hard because as women, 290 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: we actually do have to prepare. Guys can have kids 291 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 1: until the fucking day they die. Like literally a doctor 292 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: told me that y'all sperm just doesn't go bad, and 293 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: so it's it's a lot of pressure. And that was 294 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: when I started going through the messages. We've kind of 295 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: gotten off on a tangent. I'm sorry, this is such 296 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: an emotional topic for me because I mean, also, you know, 297 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: a couple of these messages were about very cavalry, which 298 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: I don't actually talk about a lot anymore, but yeah, 299 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: but this was I had to This was a topic 300 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: that we talked about on the second season of the show, 301 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: and really kind of what got me through, um a 302 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: lot of this stuff was connecting with other women about 303 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: this because it's such a hard topic and I think 304 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 1: as women, like I'm thirty eight now, and I think 305 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: that being single at this age, I mean, I have 306 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 1: a boyfriend, but like I'm not married. I've never been married, 307 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: i haven't had kids yet. It's a shame spiral for 308 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: a lot of women, and that sucks. Like I hate 309 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: that that we feel that way, you know, But I 310 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: don't also know how to not with the biological clock. Yeah, 311 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: but I wonder how my of that shame are you 312 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: thrusting upon yourself of it? Yeah, I mean the thing 313 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,880 Speaker 1: because the thing is their societal pressures. But you don't 314 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: have to pick up anything you don't want to write, 315 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 1: but it's like it is in our programming, especially if 316 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 1: you're from the South. It's also though, like if that 317 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 1: is a sensitive thing, are you for some reason feel 318 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: defective because of it? You really pick it up, you know, 319 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 1: like really really pick it up. Yeah, I mean, look, 320 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 1: it is part of your entire journey. So the questions 321 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: that I asked them to say, statements that I make 322 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 1: are never to diminish that. It's I say it more 323 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 1: is like to try and lift you up and like 324 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: see other sides of it, because when you're in that 325 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: hole looking up, all you see is the rim, you know, 326 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: and I'm standing on the other side being like, it's 327 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 1: really fun. It's really fun over here. I don't have kids, 328 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: and I don't I don't have the desire to have 329 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: I would love to have kids, but I don't have 330 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: that thing that's telling me I have to have kids. Yeah, 331 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: I mean you might one day. That's the thing. I 332 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: love kids. I would have them. Yeah, I can't accidentally 333 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: get pregnant, right. Another thing of that that's interesting, So 334 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: it's I'm just like trying to give a different perspective. Yeah, well, 335 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: speaking of different perspectives, this message actually came to me 336 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: from a guy named Matthew, and I thought this was 337 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 1: so interesting because I talked so much about the women 338 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: part of this, and I just think, oh, this only 339 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: relates to women. But Matthews thirty five, and this is 340 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: what he said. I said, my question to you guys was, 341 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: do you guys feel pressured to be married or settled 342 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: by a certain age? He said, yes, I really felt 343 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,360 Speaker 1: for you in very cavalarious in the whole dating thing 344 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 1: and feeling the pressure of needing a family in your thirties. 345 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: It's constant from my friends and my family, more so 346 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: family and maybe a backhanded joke. I think that happens 347 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: a lot. But I come, but come on, don't these 348 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: people realize we'd be settled by now if we could 349 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: it or wanted to be. I mean, I turned thirty 350 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: five last month, and yeah, I definitely want to be 351 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: settled with a family. But I definitely wanted to be 352 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: settled with a family by now. But I think I 353 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: think if I think back to ten years ago, like anyway, 354 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: I think the point is is it happens to guys too. Totally. Yeah, 355 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,880 Speaker 1: where is he from? Can you click on this thing 356 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 1: to I just have a screenshot of his message. Sorry, Yeah, 357 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: I mean that's what I look back on some of 358 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 1: my friends and you know, people that I went to 359 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 1: high school with, and I see like the mistakes that 360 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: were made and getting married super early just because of 361 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: that pressure or the idea that you needed to be 362 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: married early. Absolutely, Actually I got a couple of the 363 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: distance from Jackie. She says, I felt pressured to be 364 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,640 Speaker 1: married by thirty. It was a mistake. I'm now happily 365 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: divorced for years, but I'm single at thirty nine. The 366 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: biggest difference is that I worked on my confidence and 367 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: I don't give a ship what society tells me, which 368 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 1: is exactly what we're just saying that you can either 369 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 1: pick up the shame or you don't have to. And 370 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: I think what Jackie is saying is actually brilliant, like 371 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,359 Speaker 1: do the work on yourself to where you're like and 372 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 1: also I think it's important to build the life that 373 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: you want, you know, like without a partner. And then 374 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: they always say, I mean, I hate saying they say, 375 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: but they say that that's when you actually find the 376 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 1: right person for you, is when you're already happy on 377 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 1: your own well, and the whole idea of societal pressure 378 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: and doing things the way that like everyone does them, Like, 379 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: come on, I'm going to call bullshit on it, like 380 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,679 Speaker 1: we are we are a planet made up of a 381 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: billions of individuals, Like why is there a way to 382 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 1: do it? Well? Also, I want to be like, who 383 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: made up these fucking rules? Because now that we're like 384 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: debating the Constitution and all this ship, shouldn't we talk 385 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: about this thing too? The only issue there goes back 386 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: to the way that women's bodies only work a certain way, 387 00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: like they don't. They just don't. It doesn't give us 388 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: much like there are many options, like you know, kind 389 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 1: of that's not true because there now there are a 390 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 1: lot of options, and you also you have to let 391 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: go of the idea of stuff, just like you were saying, Um, okay, 392 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna read another message, this one. Her screen name 393 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: is weird, so we're going to call her Carrie. I 394 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: don't I don't know, but she said, um, this is 395 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: about the do you feel pressure? She said, Oh my gosh, 396 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: I have so much to share anonymously. Sorry, we'll call 397 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: you Carrie, but we don't really know your name. Actually, 398 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: actually don't. Okay, I'm about to be thirty, and I 399 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: didn't lose my virginity until a year or two ago. 400 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: Your biological clock starts screaming at you, and it's so 401 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: much pressure because you're barely having experiences, And how do 402 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: you throw all the mistakes people have in their twenties 403 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,879 Speaker 1: and into your thirties and everyone around with the families 404 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: when you just crave that? That is to me, that's 405 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: like the hardest part. But how do you have But 406 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: how do you have that when it's also new to you? 407 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: Don't forget when your parents are craving grandchildren. It's so 408 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,400 Speaker 1: hard and even harder to talk about it because people 409 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: say it will happen when the time is right. That 410 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 1: is one thing that drives me crazy. Like we're just like, 411 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 1: just hold on, you know, when it's the right time, 412 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: it'll happen. I believe that, But like it's so fucking 413 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,719 Speaker 1: annoying when you're in this situation and you're like, you 414 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 1: really have this desire, you know, you're like, why the 415 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 1: fuck would the universe give me this desire if it's 416 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: not going to fucking fill it? Well, how about this 417 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 1: sort of um the dichotomy between like I mean, clearly 418 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: anyone who saved, like did not have sex until she 419 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 1: was thirty, was being fed a message from her family 420 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 1: like to hold on to her virginity or she just 421 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: like didn't meet any Maybe that maybe I would guess 422 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 1: that there was some external pressures that informed her that, like, 423 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: your virginity is sacred and you hold onto that. But like, 424 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: but now she's dealing with these issues because she didn't 425 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,919 Speaker 1: sell her wild o. It's in her twenties, and you 426 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 1: know what I mean, it's so, but then she's feeling 427 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,120 Speaker 1: the pressure of well, why aren't you married, why don't 428 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: you have kids? Because you told me not to funk anybody, right, 429 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: you know? Um. So again it's sort of I kind 430 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,320 Speaker 1: of like Fox the Cido pressure. Would your parents say, like, 431 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 1: this is your journey, you know? Um? And I think 432 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: that saving yourself that late can have these negative repercussions 433 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: because hey, you don't know what you really like. Yeah, 434 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if I could say I don't know 435 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: if I can fully agree with that, because I think 436 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: and this is sort of like I've been a little 437 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,399 Speaker 1: Debbie Downer this whole time. I'm sorry, but I do 438 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: I forgot this is at Casual I was like this 439 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 1: is like let's talk about wow. So anyway, happy Friday off. 440 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: This is real life that happens here there, you know. No, 441 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,919 Speaker 1: no more tears. I'm only gonna laugh. I think the 442 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,080 Speaker 1: whole point of all of this. And like when I 443 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: read a couple of articles about this, that every Girl 444 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 1: has a really great article about the pressures that women feel. 445 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: If you guys are interested in going to read that, 446 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: it's the every Girl dot com. There's a great article 447 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 1: and they just talk about like it truly is. Everyone 448 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 1: has such a different journey, you know, Like, yes, a 449 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 1: lot of people have a lot of sex in their twenties, 450 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: but maybe that didn't work for our anonymous friend, you know, 451 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: and like maybe if she had done that, it would 452 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,400 Speaker 1: have really fucked her up. And like or we don't 453 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: even know what her deal was, but like general, yeah, 454 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 1: but I do it too, and it's just like and 455 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 1: that's what we're doing now to be like I want 456 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 1: to be married by a certain age, you know, Like 457 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: when I was in high school, Like I dated my 458 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: high school boyfriend for nine years. Okay, so obviously we 459 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 1: thought we were gonna get married. And then I got 460 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: into my twenties and I was just like I don't 461 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 1: even know who I am, Like I don't know what 462 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 1: I want to do with my life. I don't know 463 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: where I want to live. And now, like I mean, 464 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: I still like hear about him because I'm friends in 465 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: high school for years. Yeah, I don't know if you 466 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: guys me, I just took an extra long time. We 467 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,360 Speaker 1: did a through high school in college. We started dating 468 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 1: in high school and um, high school, college and into 469 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,639 Speaker 1: our twenties and that's a really long time and look 470 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: like you're not married to him. Yeah, Well it turns 471 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 1: out though, like now we're like such opposite people, Like 472 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: he's the best dude, and I have so much respect 473 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 1: for him and his wife and their kids, and I'm 474 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:31,959 Speaker 1: so happy for them. But um, we're so different circumstances. 475 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: But we were just young too, and we like went 476 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,640 Speaker 1: to the same school at that point. You know, we're 477 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: same schools and we just our bubble was a lot smaller, 478 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: so you sort of don't really know any different. And 479 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: then you like go, oh, shoot, there's a whole world 480 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: out there, and like what do I actually want? And 481 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 1: I couldn't say at that point. So anyway, the whole 482 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: point is everyone just has such a different journey, and 483 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 1: like I thought I would have been married to that guy, 484 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 1: and then I just wasn't say to get married, and 485 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: we've been together so long you kind of have to 486 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: go your other ways. And yeah, I wonder, I mean 487 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,640 Speaker 1: because I grew up in a really small town too, 488 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 1: and it's I wonder like if some of these people 489 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,719 Speaker 1: that were married and we're still together, like had they left, 490 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 1: would they have actually? So I read a lot of 491 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: messages from people saying like even this was mind boggling 492 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: to me, but like at twenty three and twenty four 493 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: feeling like, oh my god, like everyone around me is 494 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 1: married and having kids, Like I can't process that. That's like, 495 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 1: how the fuck do you know who you are? Four? 496 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: I would wake up in the morning and be like, 497 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 1: how did I get home last night? You know what 498 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: I mean? I'm like, thank God I got home. Then 499 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 1: you wake up and you're like, where the funk am 500 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: I not? Yeah, And so I mean, but that's great, 501 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: But I do think that's a big problem, like where 502 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: a midlife crisis comes from and stuff, because you never 503 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 1: spend the time to get to know what you actually 504 00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: want anyway. Okay, here's another another This is from Amber. 505 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,879 Speaker 1: She said, yes, I feel like I should be married now. 506 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: I'm almost thirty nine, single and no kids. I'm just 507 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: so picky and it's hard for me to put myself 508 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: out there. I feel like time is ticking. What do 509 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,359 Speaker 1: you think about the picky thing? Well, I mean, I 510 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 1: think picky is a really easy word to put on it, like, okay, 511 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,520 Speaker 1: but that's what I'm saying. Do you think there's more 512 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 1: to it? Well, I mean I think it's like, if 513 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: you haven't found your it's knowing what you're You're knowing 514 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 1: your own worth and what you want, and if you 515 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,919 Speaker 1: haven't found that person, then you shouldn't settle. Picky is 516 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 1: probably not the best way, Like I wouldn't. I don't 517 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 1: think that she's treating herself fairly to say I'm picky. 518 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: Maybe she's not putting in enough effort to find the person. 519 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,719 Speaker 1: Like if if if you think it's just being picky, 520 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: that's I don't think that's really the cause. Like you 521 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:52,640 Speaker 1: have to switch something up. You know, people and wherever 522 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: you're going, the church, the hobbies, whatever you have that 523 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 1: you're socializing in, or if you're admit picking everything, like 524 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 1: I do think that there we have a couple of 525 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: friends who have had this conversation with because they'll go 526 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: on a bunch of dates, but there's always like the thing, 527 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 1: you know, and like I relate to that too, like 528 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 1: being single for a couple of a couple of years 529 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: in between each relationship or whatever, you're kind of like 530 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: until you find one that you're actually into. And I 531 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: think that's just dating. But like, but if it's like 532 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 1: the smallest, tiniest thing, it starts to make me be like, 533 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: are you really like turned off by that? Are you 534 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: just making excuses? Like is there a bigger issue here 535 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 1: of maybe you have commitment problems or you just are 536 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 1: not you know what I mean like something? So sometimes 537 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,719 Speaker 1: I might be like, maybe therapy is also a good idea, 538 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: like to just be like, what is this like? And 539 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: maybe you're right it's not meeting the right person or 540 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: maybe there is a deeper issue. It's an interesting thought. 541 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: Um well it's my place, lord, Okay, So that was 542 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: uh this girl I liked? She said, Lisa, I don't 543 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: feel pressure. It's just so hard to meet people to date. 544 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: Do you have you gone back on dating app ship yet? 545 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: Come on, now, tell me more. But it doesn't really 546 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: interest me. You know, it's what what did she say? 547 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: She said, I don't feel pressure. It's just so hard 548 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 1: to meet people to date. Yeah, I mean I kind 549 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 1: of feel that, like because when I do go on 550 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,840 Speaker 1: these apps, I'm like, these people aren't looking to date, 551 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: They're looking to fuck and or just waste my time, 552 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: not and not just my time, anybody's time that will 553 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: engage with them or steal my money, right you know, 554 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's so many just catfishes on 555 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: there now. But that's scary and it makes it hard. 556 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: But because I mean, especially in the world that we 557 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: live in now, where you can't just go out and 558 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: meet people at random. But like I that's not also 559 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: not like on a Friday or Saturday night, Like that's 560 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: not what I'm like. I can't wait for the work 561 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: day to be done so I can go out to 562 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: a bar to meet strangers. I'd much rather go hang 563 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: out with my friends, right, So, and that, you know, 564 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: because my interest lies there, it makes it harder to 565 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: meet go meet single people. And I've never, ever my 566 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: whole life, been the person that wants to go to 567 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 1: the bar by myself. Ever, Hell no, that's my thinking. 568 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 1: People love it like, that's where some people build their 569 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: community is at the bar. Have a hard time even 570 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: meeting people at the bar. I just end up talking 571 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 1: to my friends the whole time. I'm like, why are 572 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 1: you talking to me? And someone's talking to me. I 573 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: don't see him as hitting on me. I see them 574 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: as annoying. It's so true, right, So how are you 575 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: going to meet people? Though? I don't know? But why 576 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: are you not interested right now? Just because you're so 577 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 1: busy with work? I think it's work, yeah, and you 578 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: don't have a biological time. I'm not in a race. 579 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: Oh my god, do you have a vibrator there? I'm 580 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: just she's this is from Stephanie, and this is like 581 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: the same thing we were talking about. So much pressure. 582 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: I just turned thirty and I'm not married. I want 583 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 1: kids more than anything. Stuff girl, you got time, I 584 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 1: can stuff you fine, But I want to be happy 585 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,520 Speaker 1: with the person I'm with, and I don't want to 586 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 1: rush into anything scared because of the difficulty I've seen 587 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: with my friends. My friends go through with getting pregnant. Okay, 588 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 1: So I mean here's what I will applaud Stephanie on. 589 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,959 Speaker 1: She's being proactive and she's thinking and this is what 590 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: I've said in other podcasts, especially when I talk about 591 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: the egg freezing. It's just like start saving your money 592 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: and like, start a savings account right now, you're thirty. 593 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 1: This is perfect. Start a savings account, even if you're 594 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: putting five dollars in it or whatever. It is like, 595 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: start putting money away so that if you know, two 596 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: years goes by and you're like not meeting the right person, 597 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 1: you can go freeze your eggs and then that takes 598 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: off so much pressure because it's about quantity, right um, Yeah, 599 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 1: it's about quantity. I mean, you want high quality to 600 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,280 Speaker 1: but the younger you are, the better both are. So 601 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: the more you get, the better the chances of getting 602 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,920 Speaker 1: a lot of good ones. And yeah, but like if 603 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 1: you're thirty, like is no need to freak out yet, 604 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: And there's definitely no need to rush into a relationship 605 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: to have kids, Like we do have options now, which 606 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 1: is an amazing thing with technology. And props to her 607 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 1: for thinking about it at a young she's doing it 608 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 1: right to exactly. I mean, all in all, those are 609 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: the big ones. So I really think, like I just 610 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,600 Speaker 1: don't want to leave this negatively, and I think I'm 611 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 1: pretty emo about it, right, I just had a birthday too. 612 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: You know, it's like a combination of all these things. 613 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: Thank fucking God, the universe is chilling out a little bit, 614 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: Like I had my energy read and my tarot cards 615 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 1: read earlier this week, and the universe is about to 616 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: chill out a little bit, like I think we all 617 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 1: need a break. Hey, And I'll also say, my sister 618 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 1: had a baby at forty two, But did she have 619 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: any sort of fertility issues? Um, yeah, she had she 620 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: she had lost some babies. Yeah, I don't know that. 621 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 1: Like her fan account was ever low. Listen, Mary had 622 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: a baby, you know, Like I'm saying to Jesus, immaculate 623 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: conceptions can happen. And I do think it's about an energy. 624 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 1: Like I had a terrible year last year and I 625 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: was trying to do at and like my body was 626 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,880 Speaker 1: like what the funk are you? Yeah, Like are you 627 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: kidding me right now? Kelly, Like You're not in the 628 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 1: right place to even produce anything, Like I could barely 629 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: even function. So it probably was a terrible timing and 630 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 1: stuff like who knows, But yeah, I do think we 631 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: all have to put good vibes into the universe for 632 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: what you want, and then I think you have to 633 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: take the right action steps to really, Like, as a woman, 634 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: I think it's important to take the action steps to 635 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: align with your goals. Like I think men are so 636 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: much better at that than women, Like I think we 637 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: can go you know that guy is great at this, 638 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: he sucks at this part, but and we'll make all 639 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: these exceptions. I am so guilty of that, and then 640 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 1: you find yourself down the road and a bad relationship 641 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 1: and like in a place where it's like this isn't 642 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 1: gonna work, and you've wasted so much time because we 643 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: like make exceptions, whereas guys are like, yeah, this doesn't 644 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 1: seem like it's working, or this doesn't line up with 645 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: what I want, so I'm not going to do it. 646 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 1: So I think it's more about like knowing yourself, owning yourself, 647 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 1: not being so scared into our fear and our shame 648 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: about this topic, and just really deciding what you want 649 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,919 Speaker 1: and like going after it right and and understanding too 650 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 1: and accepting that there's never just a straight path to anything, 651 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 1: you know, leaning into the journey. Yeah, that is so 652 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: fucking hard, But there is a reason we're doing all 653 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 1: the things we're doing. Yeah, I mean you have to 654 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: sort of stop and ask yourself every day, like, what 655 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,799 Speaker 1: was the lesson in that? You know, I'm like and 656 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 1: it might not be obvious. Yeah, I'm also just like, 657 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if lessons yet you know what, Like 658 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,279 Speaker 1: you don't ever want to stop learning. I don't ever 659 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: want to stop learning, but I could use a hard break, right, 660 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 1: just like give me a pumped the breaks here? You know. 661 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,000 Speaker 1: I read something the other day on Instagram and I'm 662 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,320 Speaker 1: gonna I'm paraphrasing now, um, but someone it was actually 663 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,799 Speaker 1: like someone had put a photo on their story and 664 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 1: it was they had highlighted a page in a book 665 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 1: and it was said something if you need a good cry, like, 666 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,920 Speaker 1: write down a list of all the things amazing things 667 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 1: that you've accomplished in your life and then read them 668 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: out loud to yourself because we all we focus on 669 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 1: are the challenges. It's so true, especially right now with 670 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,840 Speaker 1: all the challenges just in the world in general. Yeah, wow, 671 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,600 Speaker 1: that's really good. Actually, yeah, is this even in a a 672 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,839 Speaker 1: casual topic, because I don't even know, can you met 673 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: casual about this? Well? I think yes, I mean I 674 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,560 Speaker 1: think sometimes it's like life isn't meant to be this 675 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: thing that we control. Sometimes you have to lean into 676 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: the casual side of it and just like except that 677 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,799 Speaker 1: it is life and lived day to day, one day 678 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,400 Speaker 1: at a time, one day at a time, and some 679 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: days it's fine to be hard in yourselves. Some days 680 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:48,880 Speaker 1: you just gotta at casual. Amen to that. I should 681 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 1: have just let it go on. Then it was such 682 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 1: a good sign last week. We always forgot to even 683 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 1: like always I'm like, wait, how do we get out 684 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: of this again? I'm supposed to say what a fuck? 685 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,880 Speaker 1: And if you, like, if we were actually videoing it, 686 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 1: like you'd see me kind of look at it. Are 687 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,320 Speaker 1: you gonna say it? Are you gonna say it? Or 688 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 1: do I just say it? Was like I just want 689 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:11,200 Speaker 1: to cry. Listen, I'm gonna go make a list of 690 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 1: all the things I've accomplished in this life and I'm 691 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: gonna sit on my front porch and you know what 692 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do, cry, No, you up? Now, I'm going 693 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 1: to act casual by