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Speaker 1: Second dat up date. I don't know much about the
Speaker 1: guy who's on the phone for a second date update today,
Speaker 1: but I do know this. He's definitely white. Okay, you
Speaker 1: went to a farmer's market on his first date, so
Speaker 1: that's I'm assuming, but I'm not really totally sure. His
Speaker 1: name is Jonas. What's up, Jonas? How are you? Hey?
Speaker 1: How's it going guys? Good? Are you white? That's not
Speaker 1: a question that we should be asking people. Yeah, I am, okay, okay, yeah, nice.
Speaker 1: Sorry to perpetuate the stereotype. But you did say you
Speaker 1: went to a farmer's market on your first date, so
Speaker 1: I just had to assume. How you doing, man? You know, honestly,
Speaker 1: I've been better. I'm a little bit confused about why
Speaker 1: I'm not hearing back from Mary and where'd you meet? Mary?
Speaker 1: Her mutual friends. She used to live here, she moved
Speaker 1: away for a job, and she recently returned, and so
Speaker 1: our mutual friends said, hey, you guys would be compatible.
Speaker 1: So she and I started exchanging messages. Everything was great,
Speaker 1: you know, like good chemistry via text message. I know
Speaker 1: that sounds kind of crazy, but you know, you can
Speaker 1: sort of tell if somebody is like, yeah, has a
Speaker 1: sense of humor all that time. It's important if you
Speaker 1: guys match well as far as texts go, because that's
Speaker 1: how people communicate nowadays. If you're with somebody who doesn't
Speaker 1: text you back or is awkward on text, it's a
Speaker 1: deal breaker for a lot of people. I think, not
Speaker 1: only that you don't want to date somebody that has
Speaker 1: like too many exclamation points and why are you always
Speaker 1: so excited one of those people? So tell us about
Speaker 1: the date you said you went to the farmers market.
Speaker 1: How is that? It was awesome? You know, we were
Speaker 1: walking around beating at the different stands. There's like a
Speaker 1: bluegrass band that plays, and so we stopped there and
Speaker 1: listen to that for a little bit. And then I
Speaker 1: guess we were sort of inspired by all the good
Speaker 1: food that we were looking at, and I said, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't live too far away, you know, why don't
Speaker 1: we pick up something here and take it back to
Speaker 1: my place and we can actually make a meal instead
Speaker 1: of just seeing these little bites. That's I think that's
Speaker 1: pretty romantic, you know, and a good segue. Did you
Speaker 1: plan that all along? To do the invite back? I
Speaker 1: wish I could take that credit. No, that was that
Speaker 1: was a spur of the moment thing. But it's actually
Speaker 1: when I thought of it, I was like, man, that's good. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: so many people are like Farmer's Market, back to my place, okay,
Speaker 1: taking notes? So what was on the menu. I'm guessing
Speaker 1: all organic ingredients, locally sourced. Uh. We decided to make
Speaker 1: an eggplant parmer gan, nice free range eggplant. Fancy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Are you a cook? Is that something that you're into? Well?
Speaker 1: I did not to admit to her something that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to admit once we got back to my place.
Speaker 1: What's it? What is it? Well, it's actually that I
Speaker 1: am a terrible cook, like I cannot look. So you
Speaker 1: you lied to her and told her that you could cook,
Speaker 1: and then you got back there with the ingredients and
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do. I technically never actually lied.
Speaker 1: I just did say there. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm really interested in eating this. Yeah, So she might
Speaker 1: have assumed I know how to cook this, which is
Speaker 1: in fact not the case, well, because it's romantic if
Speaker 1: you're going back and a man is cooking for you,
Speaker 1: not as romantic if you go back and you end
Speaker 1: up being the one that has to do all the
Speaker 1: actual work. Basically, you want to make me dinner. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: she said she likes to cook, so it didn't feel
Speaker 1: like I was imposing on her. But like we she
Speaker 1: got back to like she definitely proved that she knew
Speaker 1: all the technical terms, Like she was talking about broiling
Speaker 1: something in the oven and I'm like, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: your guess is as good as mine, but I think
Speaker 1: that's at the bottom of the ovens, just the top. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know what a broil is either. She was
Speaker 1: a wish. She was like, oh, I'm gonna chop this
Speaker 1: and mince that. And I was like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if there's a difference between those two things. And she's
Speaker 1: like she said aside and like wine did it, but
Speaker 1: she would like give me or she was like, just
Speaker 1: put a pinch of salt and she was like no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, it's a dash and I was like, uh okay,
Speaker 1: And she said that they were like actual technical measurements
Speaker 1: of pinsion at dash but dash to me, is missus
Speaker 1: dash that? Yeah, exactly. That seemed to me. It sounds
Speaker 1: like she's like a really well trained chef almost. She
Speaker 1: definitely knew her way around the kitchen, and the food
Speaker 1: turned out great. So I thought we were having a
Speaker 1: great time. Okay, you thought you were having a great time,
Speaker 1: but I mean I was having a great time. No,
Speaker 1: she said she liked to cook, so I took her
Speaker 1: on her words. So, I mean, how did the actual
Speaker 1: meal go when you were eating it? The meal was awesome?
Speaker 1: Like I went back to get seconds and thirds, and like,
Speaker 1: I know, she has done a lot of work to
Speaker 1: make the meal, So I didn't like ask her to
Speaker 1: go and get these seconds or thirds or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Why didn't even cross your mind? Of course, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get your own damn food. Yeah, I mean, and she
Speaker 1: made the whole meal, so it's like she's been on
Speaker 1: our feet preparing it. I just didn't want her to
Speaker 1: have to get back and get a second and a
Speaker 1: third for me, So I wanted to help her out
Speaker 1: that way. That's nice of you. How did everything is
Speaker 1: so much civil? You know, things were going so well
Speaker 1: that I asked her she wanted to stay and watch
Speaker 1: a movie and chill. She said she had plans that afternoon,
Speaker 1: and so I respected that as she answered any of
Speaker 1: your phone calls or text messages. No, And that's weird
Speaker 1: because when we were first texting, when our friends linked
Speaker 1: us up like that, there was never a period in
Speaker 1: which she took more than like three hours to respond.
Speaker 1: Now it's been it's been a while, which is confusing.
Speaker 1: It definitely is bawing you often. You ask the vibe
Speaker 1: I'm getting, but it doesn't make sense to me. You
Speaker 1: can't think of anything that happened during the date that
Speaker 1: would make her not want to talk to you. The
Speaker 1: only thing that I can think of is that she
Speaker 1: might have been turned off by the fact that I
Speaker 1: made her cook everything. But you know, she did say
Speaker 1: she likes to cook. The the option seemed pretty clear
Speaker 1: at that point. You know what I'm saying. All Right, well,
Speaker 1: we'll play a song and then come back and call
Speaker 1: her and get your second date update. Okay, okay, thank you,
Speaker 1: all right, man, hang up. Looking jubil in the morning, seate,
Speaker 1: if you're just tuning in for today's second date update.
Speaker 1: Jonas is on the phone and he wants to call Mary.
Speaker 1: They got set up through mutual friends, went to a
Speaker 1: farmer's market, bought a bunch of food, went back to
Speaker 1: his place because he said, let's cook this stuff. But
Speaker 1: then she found out that he can't cook, so she
Speaker 1: cooked the meal herself. Basically, he said that everything went great.
Speaker 1: The only reason he thinks he's not getting a call
Speaker 1: back is because she had to cook all the food
Speaker 1: and maybe she feels like he lied to her and
Speaker 1: try to act like he knows how to cook when
Speaker 1: he doesn't. And you know what I think the problem is, Jonas,
Speaker 1: after she did all that work, you didn't tip her.
Speaker 1: You should have at least given her a tip, right
Speaker 1: you know? Yeah? Is that like something I should have
Speaker 1: actually done. No, that would probably be definitely the reason
Speaker 1: you're not getting a call back of you a tipter.
Speaker 1: But it does break up a good point, Jonas. Did
Speaker 1: you thank her profusely for making the meal? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: totally and throughout as well. Yeah, well, and you got
Speaker 1: second and thirds and whatever, so that also shows that
Speaker 1: you liked it, right absolutely. I mean I even gave
Speaker 1: her a high five because the eggplant, it was like
Speaker 1: perfectly cooked. And I have no idea how you would
Speaker 1: even begin to perfectly cook an eggplane. That's well, it's
Speaker 1: easy to get a spongey egg plant if you do
Speaker 1: it wrong. Yeah. I honestly I wouldn't know about that either.
Speaker 1: All right, well, you gotta learn your way around an
Speaker 1: eggplant a little better. It will help you out with
Speaker 1: a lot of things. All right, Oh my god, where
Speaker 1: have we gone? I'm dialing her phone number right now, Jonas,
Speaker 1: Here we go? Oh all right, I just hope she
Speaker 1: actually answers. Hello. All is this Mary? Yes? Hey, what's up? Mary?
Speaker 1: How are you? This is Jewel from brook and Jewel
Speaker 1: in the Morning. Um, I'm okay. Are you familiar with
Speaker 1: the show at all? You guys are like a radio
Speaker 1: show or something. Yeah, it is. Yeah. So have you
Speaker 1: ever listened to us or no? Now okay, just heard
Speaker 1: of us? Yeah, Mary, I'm calling you today because we
Speaker 1: actually got an email about you from somebody who does
Speaker 1: listen to the show. His name is Jonas. Oh Jonas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you guys went to a farmer's market a little
Speaker 1: while ago and you made him dinner, even though that
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily probably in your plans? Yeah, yeah, but why
Speaker 1: did he contact you? I'm I'm pretty confused here, well,
Speaker 1: because we do a segment on our show it's called
Speaker 1: the second Date Update. So Jonas is confused because he
Speaker 1: thought you guys had a great time, but now it's
Speaker 1: pretty obvious that you're blowing him off. Is he right
Speaker 1: about that? Yeah, he thought that maybe you were put
Speaker 1: off because you ended up having to cook for him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a little annoying, But like, how much did
Speaker 1: he tell you? That's that's definitely not the worst of it.
Speaker 1: He said, your your eggplant parmesan was amazing. Weird. You're
Speaker 1: a great cook. Yeah, that's nice, But like, did you
Speaker 1: tell you about his pets? Is? What is pets? No,
Speaker 1: no mention of any pets. You alergic to cats or something? Uh? Listen,
Speaker 1: if it was cats, he would have heard back from me. Um,
Speaker 1: snakes is a snake, dude. Listen. The guy feeds wild
Speaker 1: raccoons in his neighborhood. What wait, those aren't pets, those
Speaker 1: are wild animals. Yeah. Yeah, see, I'm on that same page,
Speaker 1: but I don't think he is. Explain a little more. Okay,
Speaker 1: I walk in and the first thing I see is
Speaker 1: this wall of photos of raccoons, like artistic photos of
Speaker 1: raccoons or like some Yeah, a few of them were
Speaker 1: like really well done. So I was like, oh, maybe
Speaker 1: he's like photography. He went to the zoo or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I would have left right there
Speaker 1: because raccoons scare me, no matter, I would have run
Speaker 1: out screaming. No. I mean I think they're they're totally
Speaker 1: interesting animals, but they're wild animals, you know. And then
Speaker 1: I like mentioned like, oh, that's a really cool photo.
Speaker 1: I like that, and he starts talking about these raccoons,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure that he's like, you know, on
Speaker 1: a Friday, popping his beer after work, like sitting on
Speaker 1: the porch with the raccoons. Why do you why do
Speaker 1: you think that? Just I mean, like, obviously he has
Speaker 1: a love for him, but why would you think that
Speaker 1: they're his pets? Did he tell you let me let
Speaker 1: me paint you a picture of the backyard. There's a
Speaker 1: hole in the fence so that they can have easy access. Oh,
Speaker 1: there are cat toys in the yard and no, he
Speaker 1: does not have cats. There's also cat food on the
Speaker 1: porch and a little kiddie pool for them to swim it.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, so this dude actually invites raccoons into his life. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: straight up, I just I mean, super weird. I get it.
Speaker 1: Put the picture of little raccoons swimming in a kiddie
Speaker 1: pool is kind of adorable. I know that they probably
Speaker 1: have rabies or something, but yeah, that's the thing. It's
Speaker 1: cute from a distance. But like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: wake up some day and have a raccoon on my chest, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can understand that raccoons are raccoons exactly. If he
Speaker 1: loves animals so much, why doesn't he get like a
Speaker 1: conventional pet. You know what, we didn't go that deep
Speaker 1: into it because I was feeling kind of weird changing
Speaker 1: the subject. You know, I just was trying to steer
Speaker 1: the ship in another direction, just away from raccoons, Away
Speaker 1: from raccoons. Okay, Well, even though it sounds like you're
Speaker 1: really tired of talking about raccoons, we have to talk
Speaker 1: a little bit more about them, because Jonas is actually
Speaker 1: on the other line and wants to talk to you
Speaker 1: about the date and probably more about raccoons too. Seriously,
Speaker 1: who I don't understand who hates raccoons? Like they're the
Speaker 1: most adorable animals around. How could you hate them? Wait?
Speaker 1: Hold on, you're on did you just hear everything that
Speaker 1: I just said. Yeah, and I don't understand because you
Speaker 1: didn't express any sort of hatred for raccoons when we
Speaker 1: were hanging out, and you actually said, oh, that's really
Speaker 1: cute when you saw the kiddie pool. So oh my god,
Speaker 1: I mean, you knock think that a raccoon is an
Speaker 1: adorable animal. They are adorable animals, but they're also wild animals.
Speaker 1: And you're like, you're acting like they're your pets. They
Speaker 1: carry disease, are my pets? They are my pets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't bring them into the house. They don't sleep
Speaker 1: in my bed, but yeah, I can't hear of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you give them like shots and like take them to
Speaker 1: the bed and like no monitor where they don't. No,
Speaker 1: I understand they're wild animals, but they sort of flocked
Speaker 1: to me. It's a family. I take care of the
Speaker 1: little bandits like they're all bandits. Oh man, completely contradicted
Speaker 1: yourself that they are your pets and that they're wild animals.
Speaker 1: They can't be both. That's the reality, my friend, Like serious,
Speaker 1: they Yeah, I have a hole in my fence. They
Speaker 1: come through that hole. I feed them. They're like they're
Speaker 1: a loving family. And I see the new ones every year,
Speaker 1: so it's like that's what it is, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: to do it for them. And they're intensely loyal as well,
Speaker 1: Like they are always coming back to my place because
Speaker 1: you feed them. Yeah, because they recognize me, like they
Speaker 1: can see my face and they do have facial recognition.
Speaker 1: Like they're not idiot animals, Like they know what they're doing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they know who they want to murder. They're not murderers.
Speaker 1: They're peaceful animals. I've been around my little bandits for
Speaker 1: a number of years now and there has only been
Speaker 1: one time in which I've gotten bitten by one of them.
Speaker 1: That's enough. Please tell me you've been to the doctor.
Speaker 1: Oh god, was but that wasn't even it was It
Speaker 1: was not their fault. I was holding out an old egg,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't holding it properly, so when they get
Speaker 1: went to take it out of my hands, tip bit
Speaker 1: part of my finger. Yeah, I went to the doctor.
Speaker 1: I was fun. They don't have babies. They're not just
Speaker 1: like foaming at the mouth and crawling around my house.
Speaker 1: I think that everybody can agree that people who love
Speaker 1: animals are typically great people. However, I do think that
Speaker 1: maybe your obsession with raccoons could be hurting your dating life.
Speaker 1: I would call the love not an obsession first off.
Speaker 1: And it's just like we ever had an issue before
Speaker 1: with anyone disliking an animal, and that's basically what this
Speaker 1: boils down to you. Listen, Jonathan, I don't know how
Speaker 1: deep this goes. I feel like if I go in
Speaker 1: your closet, am I going to see a costume, a
Speaker 1: raccoon costume? You los guy? Then like hang out with
Speaker 1: them d the day? I don't know. No, I do
Speaker 1: not have a raccoon costume, but if I did at
Speaker 1: one point half one and has since gotten rid of it,
Speaker 1: I would know that the raccoons feel comfort when they
Speaker 1: see another raccoons and a just sense of community. I'm
Speaker 1: not doing anything strange, you know what, Jonas. I feel
Speaker 1: comfort when I'm around humans that dress like humans and
Speaker 1: not animals. So I have nothing wrong with you having
Speaker 1: your friends, But I don't think it's going to sink
Speaker 1: with me and my friends. Are you sure? Mary? Would
Speaker 1: you like to go out on a second date with Jonas?
Speaker 1: We will pay for it, just him we want. We
Speaker 1: can't pay for his whole raccoon family. That'd be an
Speaker 1: expensive bill, but we will pay for you to go
Speaker 1: out with Jonas again if you go on a second date.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're even asking me this question. No, No,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm sorry. I don't think there's enough room
Speaker 1: for me and all of Jonah's little bandits in. Mary.
Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, but I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: another option before you give me a final note. Here,
Speaker 1: it is you and I go back to the farmer's market,
Speaker 1: We get a meal. I will certainly do my research
Speaker 1: before him, so I can help you prepare it, and
Speaker 1: then afterwards we can go outside. I can introduce you.
Speaker 1: You can get to know them before you make a
Speaker 1: decision as to whether or not you want to be
Speaker 1: friends with them. I think you should know them second date.
Speaker 1: He already wants to introduce you to the family. Mary.
Speaker 1: Are you sure? Mary? I think that's a good proposition.
Speaker 1: I mean, what if the craziest thing happens and it's
Speaker 1: not as strange as we all think it is, or
Speaker 1: one of them could jump up and scratch my fast off.
Speaker 1: I think the likelihood is low, Mary, that's not gonna
Speaker 1: happen again. They've only bitten me once and that was
Speaker 1: because of a bad egg. Mary. Do you know what Jonas?
Speaker 1: I just don't think so, but thanks so much for
Speaker 1: the offer. Well, Mary, thank you for your time. And Jonas,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry it doesn't sound like you're getting another date. Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't want to date anyone who can't appreciate this friendship.
Speaker 1: So okay, Well text in at seven eight five nine two.
Speaker 1: Do you want to hang out with Jonas and his raccoons.
Speaker 1: We'll see if we can find you somebody. I'm sure
Speaker 1: there's somebody out there for Yeah, there probably is, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to meet him. Broken jubil in the
Speaker 1: morning text in at seven eight five to nine two
Speaker 1: and says she doesn't deserve a who loves animals like that.
Speaker 1: I'm glad they're not going out again. Not animals, they're raccoons.
Speaker 1: The animals. They are evil creatures. A lot of people
Speaker 1: love them. Ju boys, I know, but they shouldn't because
Speaker 1: raccoons don't love you. They will kill you. Talking about
Speaker 1: today's second date update if you missed it, Zoo, Jonas
Speaker 1: wanted to call a girl named Mary. They met at
Speaker 1: a farmer's market, and he thought the reason that she
Speaker 1: wasn't calling him back was because he said that he
Speaker 1: could cook, but they went back to his place and
Speaker 1: then he had to admit that he couldn't cook any
Speaker 1: food at all. So she pretty much made dinner. But
Speaker 1: when we got her on the phone, we found out
Speaker 1: the reason that she wasn't calling him back was because
Speaker 1: Jonas's best friends are a family of wild raccoons that
Speaker 1: he invites to come into his backyard. He feeds them,
Speaker 1: he leaves toys for them. He even has photos on
Speaker 1: his wall of the raccoons. He just loves this family
Speaker 1: of raccoons. And you know, it sounded strange at first,
Speaker 1: but we're getting so many text messages in of other
Speaker 1: people who feed raccoons and want to hang out with
Speaker 1: Jonas and his little band. Yeah, a lot of people
Speaker 1: are into it. Well, you shouldn't feed wild, wild animals.
Speaker 1: That's a whole other discussion. But you know, some people
Speaker 1: love raccoons. I've seen them as pets before. I don't
Speaker 1: understand it. Raccoons are scary to me. They lumber down
Speaker 1: city streets, they eat your garbage, and they wait, They
Speaker 1: wait for you to walk down the street late at
Speaker 1: night so they can bite your ankles and give you rabies,
Speaker 1: and that should be your type of animal. That's what
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you hate them so much. It's
Speaker 1: like you're describing what you would do if you were
Speaker 1: an animal. I don't know if i'd bite people, give
Speaker 1: you definitely lumber late at night and I would do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: See you look sketchy, many sketchy. You'd be all sketchy
Speaker 1: out there in a garbage can. Maybe I do like them. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Mary said no to a second date because she doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like there's enough room in his life for her
Speaker 1: and the raccoons, so they're not going out again. Remember,
Speaker 1: if you want to do a second date update, all
Speaker 1: you have to do is email the show and we
Speaker 1: will call the person who didn't call you back five