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Speaker 1: Need Lasic trust the experienced team at the Lasic Center

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Speaker 1: at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits.

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Speaker 1: What will you do Lasik at Evergreen dot com rooking Jewels?

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Speaker 1: Second dat up date. I don't know much about the

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Speaker 1: guy who's on the phone for a second date update today,

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Speaker 1: but I do know this. He's definitely white. Okay, you

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Speaker 1: went to a farmer's market on his first date, so

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Speaker 1: that's I'm assuming, but I'm not really totally sure. His

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Speaker 1: name is Jonas. What's up, Jonas? How are you? Hey?

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Speaker 1: How's it going guys? Good? Are you white? That's not

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Speaker 1: a question that we should be asking people. Yeah, I am, okay, okay, yeah, nice.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to perpetuate the stereotype. But you did say you

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Speaker 1: went to a farmer's market on your first date, so

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Speaker 1: I just had to assume. How you doing, man? You know, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I've been better. I'm a little bit confused about why

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Speaker 1: I'm not hearing back from Mary and where'd you meet? Mary?

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Speaker 1: Her mutual friends. She used to live here, she moved

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Speaker 1: away for a job, and she recently returned, and so

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Speaker 1: our mutual friends said, hey, you guys would be compatible.

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Speaker 1: So she and I started exchanging messages. Everything was great,

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Speaker 1: you know, like good chemistry via text message. I know

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Speaker 1: that sounds kind of crazy, but you know, you can

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Speaker 1: sort of tell if somebody is like, yeah, has a

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Speaker 1: sense of humor all that time. It's important if you

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Speaker 1: guys match well as far as texts go, because that's

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Speaker 1: how people communicate nowadays. If you're with somebody who doesn't

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Speaker 1: text you back or is awkward on text, it's a

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Speaker 1: deal breaker for a lot of people. I think, not

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Speaker 1: only that you don't want to date somebody that has

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Speaker 1: like too many exclamation points and why are you always

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Speaker 1: so excited one of those people? So tell us about

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Speaker 1: the date you said you went to the farmers market.

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Speaker 1: How is that? It was awesome? You know, we were

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Speaker 1: walking around beating at the different stands. There's like a

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Speaker 1: bluegrass band that plays, and so we stopped there and

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Speaker 1: listen to that for a little bit. And then I

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Speaker 1: guess we were sort of inspired by all the good

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Speaker 1: food that we were looking at, and I said, hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't live too far away, you know, why don't

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Speaker 1: we pick up something here and take it back to

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Speaker 1: my place and we can actually make a meal instead

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Speaker 1: of just seeing these little bites. That's I think that's

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Speaker 1: pretty romantic, you know, and a good segue. Did you

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Speaker 1: plan that all along? To do the invite back? I

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Speaker 1: wish I could take that credit. No, that was that

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Speaker 1: was a spur of the moment thing. But it's actually

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Speaker 1: when I thought of it, I was like, man, that's good. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: so many people are like Farmer's Market, back to my place, okay,

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Speaker 1: taking notes? So what was on the menu. I'm guessing

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Speaker 1: all organic ingredients, locally sourced. Uh. We decided to make

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Speaker 1: an eggplant parmer gan, nice free range eggplant. Fancy? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Are you a cook? Is that something that you're into? Well?

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Speaker 1: I did not to admit to her something that I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to admit once we got back to my place.

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Speaker 1: What's it? What is it? Well, it's actually that I

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Speaker 1: am a terrible cook, like I cannot look. So you

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Speaker 1: you lied to her and told her that you could cook,

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Speaker 1: and then you got back there with the ingredients and

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Speaker 1: didn't know what to do. I technically never actually lied.

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Speaker 1: I just did say there. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm really interested in eating this. Yeah, So she might

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Speaker 1: have assumed I know how to cook this, which is

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Speaker 1: in fact not the case, well, because it's romantic if

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Speaker 1: you're going back and a man is cooking for you,

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Speaker 1: not as romantic if you go back and you end

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Speaker 1: up being the one that has to do all the

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Speaker 1: actual work. Basically, you want to make me dinner. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: she said she likes to cook, so it didn't feel

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Speaker 1: like I was imposing on her. But like we she

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Speaker 1: got back to like she definitely proved that she knew

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Speaker 1: all the technical terms, Like she was talking about broiling

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Speaker 1: something in the oven and I'm like, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: your guess is as good as mine, but I think

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Speaker 1: that's at the bottom of the ovens, just the top. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what a broil is either. She was

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Speaker 1: a wish. She was like, oh, I'm gonna chop this

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Speaker 1: and mince that. And I was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if there's a difference between those two things. And she's

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Speaker 1: like she said aside and like wine did it, but

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Speaker 1: she would like give me or she was like, just

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Speaker 1: put a pinch of salt and she was like no,

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Speaker 1: no, no no, it's a dash and I was like, uh okay,

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Speaker 1: And she said that they were like actual technical measurements

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Speaker 1: of pinsion at dash but dash to me, is missus

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Speaker 1: dash that? Yeah, exactly. That seemed to me. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like she's like a really well trained chef almost. She

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Speaker 1: definitely knew her way around the kitchen, and the food

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Speaker 1: turned out great. So I thought we were having a

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Speaker 1: great time. Okay, you thought you were having a great time,

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Speaker 1: but I mean I was having a great time. No,

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Speaker 1: she said she liked to cook, so I took her

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Speaker 1: on her words. So, I mean, how did the actual

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Speaker 1: meal go when you were eating it? The meal was awesome?

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Speaker 1: Like I went back to get seconds and thirds, and like,

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Speaker 1: I know, she has done a lot of work to

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Speaker 1: make the meal, So I didn't like ask her to

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Speaker 1: go and get these seconds or thirds or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't even cross your mind? Of course, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get your own damn food. Yeah, I mean, and she

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Speaker 1: made the whole meal, so it's like she's been on

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Speaker 1: our feet preparing it. I just didn't want her to

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Speaker 1: have to get back and get a second and a

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Speaker 1: third for me, So I wanted to help her out

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Speaker 1: that way. That's nice of you. How did everything is

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Speaker 1: so much civil? You know, things were going so well

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Speaker 1: that I asked her she wanted to stay and watch

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Speaker 1: a movie and chill. She said she had plans that afternoon,

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Speaker 1: and so I respected that as she answered any of

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Speaker 1: your phone calls or text messages. No, And that's weird

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Speaker 1: because when we were first texting, when our friends linked

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Speaker 1: us up like that, there was never a period in

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Speaker 1: which she took more than like three hours to respond.

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Speaker 1: Now it's been it's been a while, which is confusing.

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Speaker 1: It definitely is bawing you often. You ask the vibe

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Speaker 1: I'm getting, but it doesn't make sense to me. You

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Speaker 1: can't think of anything that happened during the date that

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Speaker 1: would make her not want to talk to you. The

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Speaker 1: only thing that I can think of is that she

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Speaker 1: might have been turned off by the fact that I

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Speaker 1: made her cook everything. But you know, she did say

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Speaker 1: she likes to cook. The the option seemed pretty clear

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Speaker 1: at that point. You know what I'm saying. All Right, well,

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Speaker 1: we'll play a song and then come back and call

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Speaker 1: her and get your second date update. Okay, okay, thank you,

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Speaker 1: all right, man, hang up. Looking jubil in the morning, seate,

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Speaker 1: if you're just tuning in for today's second date update.

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Speaker 1: Jonas is on the phone and he wants to call Mary.

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Speaker 1: They got set up through mutual friends, went to a

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Speaker 1: farmer's market, bought a bunch of food, went back to

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Speaker 1: his place because he said, let's cook this stuff. But

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Speaker 1: then she found out that he can't cook, so she

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Speaker 1: cooked the meal herself. Basically, he said that everything went great.

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Speaker 1: The only reason he thinks he's not getting a call

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Speaker 1: back is because she had to cook all the food

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Speaker 1: and maybe she feels like he lied to her and

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Speaker 1: try to act like he knows how to cook when

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Speaker 1: he doesn't. And you know what I think the problem is, Jonas,

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Speaker 1: after she did all that work, you didn't tip her.

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Speaker 1: You should have at least given her a tip, right

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Speaker 1: you know? Yeah? Is that like something I should have

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Speaker 1: actually done. No, that would probably be definitely the reason

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Speaker 1: you're not getting a call back of you a tipter.

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Speaker 1: But it does break up a good point, Jonas. Did

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Speaker 1: you thank her profusely for making the meal? Oh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: totally and throughout as well. Yeah, well, and you got

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Speaker 1: second and thirds and whatever, so that also shows that

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Speaker 1: you liked it, right absolutely. I mean I even gave

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Speaker 1: her a high five because the eggplant, it was like

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Speaker 1: perfectly cooked. And I have no idea how you would

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Speaker 1: even begin to perfectly cook an eggplane. That's well, it's

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Speaker 1: easy to get a spongey egg plant if you do

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Speaker 1: it wrong. Yeah. I honestly I wouldn't know about that either.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, you gotta learn your way around an

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Speaker 1: eggplant a little better. It will help you out with

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Speaker 1: a lot of things. All right, Oh my god, where

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Speaker 1: have we gone? I'm dialing her phone number right now, Jonas,

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Speaker 1: Here we go? Oh all right, I just hope she

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Speaker 1: actually answers. Hello. All is this Mary? Yes? Hey, what's up? Mary?

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Speaker 1: How are you? This is Jewel from brook and Jewel

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Speaker 1: in the Morning. Um, I'm okay. Are you familiar with

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Speaker 1: the show at all? You guys are like a radio

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Speaker 1: show or something. Yeah, it is. Yeah. So have you

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Speaker 1: ever listened to us or no? Now okay, just heard

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Speaker 1: of us? Yeah, Mary, I'm calling you today because we

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Speaker 1: actually got an email about you from somebody who does

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Speaker 1: listen to the show. His name is Jonas. Oh Jonas. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you guys went to a farmer's market a little

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Speaker 1: while ago and you made him dinner, even though that

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Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily probably in your plans? Yeah, yeah, but why

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Speaker 1: did he contact you? I'm I'm pretty confused here, well,

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Speaker 1: because we do a segment on our show it's called

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Speaker 1: the second Date Update. So Jonas is confused because he

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Speaker 1: thought you guys had a great time, but now it's

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Speaker 1: pretty obvious that you're blowing him off. Is he right

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Speaker 1: about that? Yeah, he thought that maybe you were put

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Speaker 1: off because you ended up having to cook for him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was a little annoying, But like, how much did

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Speaker 1: he tell you? That's that's definitely not the worst of it.

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Speaker 1: He said, your your eggplant parmesan was amazing. Weird. You're

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Speaker 1: a great cook. Yeah, that's nice, But like, did you

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Speaker 1: tell you about his pets? Is? What is pets? No,

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Speaker 1: no mention of any pets. You alergic to cats or something? Uh? Listen,

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Speaker 1: if it was cats, he would have heard back from me. Um,

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Speaker 1: snakes is a snake, dude. Listen. The guy feeds wild

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Speaker 1: raccoons in his neighborhood. What wait, those aren't pets, those

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Speaker 1: are wild animals. Yeah. Yeah, see, I'm on that same page,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think he is. Explain a little more. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I walk in and the first thing I see is

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Speaker 1: this wall of photos of raccoons, like artistic photos of

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Speaker 1: raccoons or like some Yeah, a few of them were

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Speaker 1: like really well done. So I was like, oh, maybe

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Speaker 1: he's like photography. He went to the zoo or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I would have left right there

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Speaker 1: because raccoons scare me, no matter, I would have run

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Speaker 1: out screaming. No. I mean I think they're they're totally

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Speaker 1: interesting animals, but they're wild animals, you know. And then

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Speaker 1: I like mentioned like, oh, that's a really cool photo.

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Speaker 1: I like that, and he starts talking about these raccoons,

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Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure that he's like, you know, on

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Speaker 1: a Friday, popping his beer after work, like sitting on

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Speaker 1: the porch with the raccoons. Why do you why do

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Speaker 1: you think that? Just I mean, like, obviously he has

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Speaker 1: a love for him, but why would you think that

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Speaker 1: they're his pets? Did he tell you let me let

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Speaker 1: me paint you a picture of the backyard. There's a

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Speaker 1: hole in the fence so that they can have easy access. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there are cat toys in the yard and no, he

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Speaker 1: does not have cats. There's also cat food on the

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Speaker 1: porch and a little kiddie pool for them to swim it.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, so this dude actually invites raccoons into his life. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: straight up, I just I mean, super weird. I get it.

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Speaker 1: Put the picture of little raccoons swimming in a kiddie

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Speaker 1: pool is kind of adorable. I know that they probably

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Speaker 1: have rabies or something, but yeah, that's the thing. It's

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Speaker 1: cute from a distance. But like, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: wake up some day and have a raccoon on my chest, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can understand that raccoons are raccoons exactly. If he

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Speaker 1: loves animals so much, why doesn't he get like a

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Speaker 1: conventional pet. You know what, we didn't go that deep

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Speaker 1: into it because I was feeling kind of weird changing

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Speaker 1: the subject. You know, I just was trying to steer

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Speaker 1: the ship in another direction, just away from raccoons, Away

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Speaker 1: from raccoons. Okay, Well, even though it sounds like you're

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Speaker 1: really tired of talking about raccoons, we have to talk

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Speaker 1: a little bit more about them, because Jonas is actually

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Speaker 1: on the other line and wants to talk to you

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Speaker 1: about the date and probably more about raccoons too. Seriously,

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Speaker 1: who I don't understand who hates raccoons? Like they're the

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Speaker 1: most adorable animals around. How could you hate them? Wait?

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Speaker 1: Hold on, you're on did you just hear everything that

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Speaker 1: I just said. Yeah, and I don't understand because you

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Speaker 1: didn't express any sort of hatred for raccoons when we

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Speaker 1: were hanging out, and you actually said, oh, that's really

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Speaker 1: cute when you saw the kiddie pool. So oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you knock think that a raccoon is an

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Speaker 1: adorable animal. They are adorable animals, but they're also wild animals.

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Speaker 1: And you're like, you're acting like they're your pets. They

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Speaker 1: carry disease, are my pets? They are my pets. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't bring them into the house. They don't sleep

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Speaker 1: in my bed, but yeah, I can't hear of them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you give them like shots and like take them to

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Speaker 1: the bed and like no monitor where they don't. No,

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Speaker 1: I understand they're wild animals, but they sort of flocked

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Speaker 1: to me. It's a family. I take care of the

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Speaker 1: little bandits like they're all bandits. Oh man, completely contradicted

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Speaker 1: yourself that they are your pets and that they're wild animals.

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Speaker 1: They can't be both. That's the reality, my friend, Like serious,

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Speaker 1: they Yeah, I have a hole in my fence. They

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Speaker 1: come through that hole. I feed them. They're like they're

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Speaker 1: a loving family. And I see the new ones every year,

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Speaker 1: so it's like that's what it is, and I'm happy

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Speaker 1: to do it for them. And they're intensely loyal as well,

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Speaker 1: Like they are always coming back to my place because

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Speaker 1: you feed them. Yeah, because they recognize me, like they

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Speaker 1: can see my face and they do have facial recognition.

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Speaker 1: Like they're not idiot animals, Like they know what they're doing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they know who they want to murder. They're not murderers.

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Speaker 1: They're peaceful animals. I've been around my little bandits for

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Speaker 1: a number of years now and there has only been

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Speaker 1: one time in which I've gotten bitten by one of them.

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Speaker 1: That's enough. Please tell me you've been to the doctor.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, was but that wasn't even it was It

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Speaker 1: was not their fault. I was holding out an old egg,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't holding it properly, so when they get

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Speaker 1: went to take it out of my hands, tip bit

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Speaker 1: part of my finger. Yeah, I went to the doctor.

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Speaker 1: I was fun. They don't have babies. They're not just

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Speaker 1: like foaming at the mouth and crawling around my house.

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Speaker 1: I think that everybody can agree that people who love

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Speaker 1: animals are typically great people. However, I do think that

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Speaker 1: maybe your obsession with raccoons could be hurting your dating life.

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Speaker 1: I would call the love not an obsession first off.

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Speaker 1: And it's just like we ever had an issue before

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Speaker 1: with anyone disliking an animal, and that's basically what this

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Speaker 1: boils down to you. Listen, Jonathan, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: deep this goes. I feel like if I go in

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Speaker 1: your closet, am I going to see a costume, a

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Speaker 1: raccoon costume? You los guy? Then like hang out with

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Speaker 1: them d the day? I don't know. No, I do

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Speaker 1: not have a raccoon costume, but if I did at

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Speaker 1: one point half one and has since gotten rid of it,

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Speaker 1: I would know that the raccoons feel comfort when they

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Speaker 1: see another raccoons and a just sense of community. I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing anything strange, you know what, Jonas. I feel

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Speaker 1: comfort when I'm around humans that dress like humans and

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Speaker 1: not animals. So I have nothing wrong with you having

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Speaker 1: your friends, But I don't think it's going to sink

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Speaker 1: with me and my friends. Are you sure? Mary? Would

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Speaker 1: you like to go out on a second date with Jonas?

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Speaker 1: We will pay for it, just him we want. We

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Speaker 1: can't pay for his whole raccoon family. That'd be an

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Speaker 1: expensive bill, but we will pay for you to go

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Speaker 1: out with Jonas again if you go on a second date.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why you're even asking me this question. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I can't. I'm sorry. I don't think there's enough room

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Speaker 1: for me and all of Jonah's little bandits in. Mary.

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Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, but I'm gonna give you

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Speaker 1: another option before you give me a final note. Here,

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Speaker 1: it is you and I go back to the farmer's market,

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Speaker 1: We get a meal. I will certainly do my research

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Speaker 1: before him, so I can help you prepare it, and

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Speaker 1: then afterwards we can go outside. I can introduce you.

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Speaker 1: You can get to know them before you make a

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Speaker 1: decision as to whether or not you want to be

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Speaker 1: friends with them. I think you should know them second date.

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Speaker 1: He already wants to introduce you to the family. Mary.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure? Mary? I think that's a good proposition.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what if the craziest thing happens and it's

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Speaker 1: not as strange as we all think it is, or

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Speaker 1: one of them could jump up and scratch my fast off.

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Speaker 1: I think the likelihood is low, Mary, that's not gonna

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Speaker 1: happen again. They've only bitten me once and that was

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Speaker 1: because of a bad egg. Mary. Do you know what Jonas?

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Speaker 1: I just don't think so, but thanks so much for

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Speaker 1: the offer. Well, Mary, thank you for your time. And Jonas,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry it doesn't sound like you're getting another date. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to date anyone who can't appreciate this friendship.

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Speaker 1: So okay, Well text in at seven eight five nine two.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to hang out with Jonas and his raccoons.

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Speaker 1: We'll see if we can find you somebody. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: there's somebody out there for Yeah, there probably is, and

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Speaker 1: I don't want to meet him. Broken jubil in the

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Speaker 1: morning text in at seven eight five to nine two

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Speaker 1: and says she doesn't deserve a who loves animals like that.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad they're not going out again. Not animals, they're raccoons.

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Speaker 1: The animals. They are evil creatures. A lot of people

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Speaker 1: love them. Ju boys, I know, but they shouldn't because

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Speaker 1: raccoons don't love you. They will kill you. Talking about

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Speaker 1: today's second date update if you missed it, Zoo, Jonas

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Speaker 1: wanted to call a girl named Mary. They met at

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Speaker 1: a farmer's market, and he thought the reason that she

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Speaker 1: wasn't calling him back was because he said that he

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Speaker 1: could cook, but they went back to his place and

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Speaker 1: then he had to admit that he couldn't cook any

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Speaker 1: food at all. So she pretty much made dinner. But

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Speaker 1: when we got her on the phone, we found out

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Speaker 1: the reason that she wasn't calling him back was because

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Speaker 1: Jonas's best friends are a family of wild raccoons that

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Speaker 1: he invites to come into his backyard. He feeds them,

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Speaker 1: he leaves toys for them. He even has photos on

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Speaker 1: his wall of the raccoons. He just loves this family

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Speaker 1: of raccoons. And you know, it sounded strange at first,

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Speaker 1: but we're getting so many text messages in of other

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Speaker 1: people who feed raccoons and want to hang out with

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Speaker 1: Jonas and his little band. Yeah, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: are into it. Well, you shouldn't feed wild, wild animals.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole other discussion. But you know, some people

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Speaker 1: love raccoons. I've seen them as pets before. I don't

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Speaker 1: understand it. Raccoons are scary to me. They lumber down

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Speaker 1: city streets, they eat your garbage, and they wait, They

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Speaker 1: wait for you to walk down the street late at

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Speaker 1: night so they can bite your ankles and give you rabies,

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Speaker 1: and that should be your type of animal. That's what

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why you hate them so much. It's

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Speaker 1: like you're describing what you would do if you were

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Speaker 1: an animal. I don't know if i'd bite people, give

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Speaker 1: you definitely lumber late at night and I would do that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: See you look sketchy, many sketchy. You'd be all sketchy

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Speaker 1: out there in a garbage can. Maybe I do like them. Yeah. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: Mary said no to a second date because she doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel like there's enough room in his life for her

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Speaker 1: and the raccoons, so they're not going out again. Remember,

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Speaker 1: if you want to do a second date update, all

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Speaker 1: you have to do is email the show and we

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Speaker 1: will call the person who didn't call you back five