Speaker 1: Hey, and welcome to the short Stuff. I'm Josh, and
Speaker 1: there's Chuck and Dave's here in spirit, so it's short stuff.
Speaker 1: Let's get it started. I know we've talked about whether
Speaker 1: or not you have skied, divn doved, dived, Yes, all
Speaker 1: of them, and I think that you have right. Didn't
Speaker 1: you do a tandem? John? I did one time, and uh,
Speaker 1: it was I think I said before, and I'll say
Speaker 1: it again, I blacked out at first, like second or
Speaker 1: two out of just yes, I've never blacked out from
Speaker 1: terror before, but I did that time. Uh. And overall,
Speaker 1: you did it and you were okay with it? Or
Speaker 1: were you When you got to the bottom you were
Speaker 1: like that was actually all oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes absolutely,
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't do it again. There was a period
Speaker 1: where I would have and then you was like, no,
Speaker 1: I've done it too. We've both done it. Let's just
Speaker 1: leave it at that and not breasts our luck. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I still have not, and I was thinking about it
Speaker 1: today and I'm not scared too or anything. I don't
Speaker 1: have a problem with heights. I think it could be fun.
Speaker 1: But I'm also just kind of like, now if I
Speaker 1: bother there's a lot at stake. Now, well, yeah, that's yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one of those like early twentysomething thing that's when
Speaker 1: it's best to do. But then there's plenty of people
Speaker 1: who are like, I'm a middle aged guy, I'd ever
Speaker 1: been doing it forever. The key is to never jump
Speaker 1: one thousand times. You just need to jump nine times
Speaker 1: and just stop right there. Apparently, yeah, because if you
Speaker 1: ask Ron Bell, who is a certified usp A United
Speaker 1: States Parachute Association member, I guess I don't know what
Speaker 1: they're called. Dude, Uh, do your jumper. He's made thirteen
Speaker 1: thousand jumps and had fourteen mouth functions, and he said
Speaker 1: that's about on target, about one in a thousand jumps.
Speaker 1: Something could go wrong. But part of the reason for
Speaker 1: this episode is that doesn't mean certain death just because
Speaker 1: there is a malfunction. No, there's a lot of ways
Speaker 1: that your parent shoot malfunction um, and it basically has
Speaker 1: everything to do with your shoot not deploying correctly, which
Speaker 1: the appropriate, appropriate thing to say when your shoot doesn't
Speaker 1: come out is shoot, oh shoot, you know, terrible, thanks.
Speaker 1: But the problem, so you're going about a hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty miles an hour just to put this into perspective.
Speaker 1: By the way, it's terminal velocity after falling for twelve seconds.
Speaker 1: A human being won't travel faster than that, no matter
Speaker 1: how far they're falling. Charlie Cheen taught us all that
Speaker 1: totally did back in the nineties. So you imagine how
Speaker 1: much cocaine he was on when he was filming that movie.
Speaker 1: It must have been like literally mind boggling. So you're
Speaker 1: traveling a hundred twenty miles an hour straight towards the
Speaker 1: Earth and your shoot doesn't go out as it should,
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of different things that can happen
Speaker 1: with a what's called a partial mauthfunction, and a partial
Speaker 1: malfunction means the shoot tries to deploy, but something happens
Speaker 1: to keep it from deploying correctly. Absolutely so, Um, there's
Speaker 1: typically like something like your line getting messed up, where
Speaker 1: the shoot comes out okay, but the two sets of
Speaker 1: lines on either side of the shoot, UM might get
Speaker 1: kind of wound up. Kind of like how when you
Speaker 1: were a kid and you spun around on a swing
Speaker 1: set that chained would would twist up ahead of you
Speaker 1: above you. That same thing frequently can happen when you're parachuting. Um. Fortunately,
Speaker 1: it's kind of easy to do. You just kind of
Speaker 1: twist the other way and it'll untwist, just like with
Speaker 1: the the swing set. The key though, is to not
Speaker 1: go out of your mind with fear and forget how
Speaker 1: to turn one way or the other. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: don't panic is the number one role of all of
Speaker 1: the stuff. Was that a hitchhiker's guide reference, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: plus general life. As long as it was in there somewhere,
Speaker 1: it's good. Yes, that's called the line twist. The other
Speaker 1: partial malfunction is known as a line over, which means
Speaker 1: that your shoot tries to deploy, it maybe does deploy,
Speaker 1: but one of the lines has crossed over where the
Speaker 1: shoot is, and so the shoot is sort of you know,
Speaker 1: if you can imagine a parachute with one of the
Speaker 1: lines kind of running through it instead of where it
Speaker 1: should be, which is dangling down from it, then you've
Speaker 1: got a parachute that's sort of working but not like
Speaker 1: it should now. And that can be a real problem
Speaker 1: when your main shoot doesn't open. But luckily people who
Speaker 1: jumped out of planes plenty of times have figured out
Speaker 1: that it might help if you have a second shoot
Speaker 1: and we're gonna talk all about that second shoot and
Speaker 1: how it probably will save your life after this message.
Speaker 1: Wit you think it sounds great, Well, now we're on
Speaker 1: the road, driving in your truck. Want to learn a
Speaker 1: thing or two from Josh can Chuck. It's stuff you
Speaker 1: should know, all right, Okay, Charles? So, Um, your main
Speaker 1: shoot is deployed and not functioning. Either you've got a
Speaker 1: line cross that won't undo, you've got a line over,
Speaker 1: or in some cases, your shoot just hasn't deployed at all.
Speaker 1: What do you do, big shot? What do you do? Well,
Speaker 1: that's called a total malfunction. If your shoot just doesn't
Speaker 1: come out or doesn't open at all, it's a complete failure. Uh,
Speaker 1: you have a reserve shoot. You've always got another one
Speaker 1: in there. And the good news is that any old
Speaker 1: well I don't know any old because I'm sure they
Speaker 1: make sure the most experienced parachuters pack that main shoot
Speaker 1: wherever you're going. But you do not have to be
Speaker 1: a certified f a A operator to pack that main shoot.
Speaker 1: You do have to be that to pack that reserve
Speaker 1: shoot though, right, which is like an extra level of
Speaker 1: protection because those people are very sober, they know what
Speaker 1: they're doing no nonsense. Crew cuts, every last one of them,
Speaker 1: and they they will pack your reserve shoot very very well.
Speaker 1: The thing is, if your reserve shoot doesn't open, this
Speaker 1: article points it out pretty plainly. God wanted you dead.
Speaker 1: Your number was Yeah, I mean, reserves are not supposed
Speaker 1: to fail because they are the redundancy. But um, it
Speaker 1: can be a manufacturing mistake. Um. Whereas the chances of
Speaker 1: the reality is when your other, your main shoot fails,
Speaker 1: it could just be that it was packed wrong, or
Speaker 1: that you came out of the plane funny in your
Speaker 1: body is at a weird angle, and it sounds kind
Speaker 1: of funny to say, but if you are going to
Speaker 1: have a parachute malfunction rather than a line over a
Speaker 1: lying cross, you are actually better off if your main
Speaker 1: shoot doesn't deploy at all, because that cuts down on
Speaker 1: the chance of your reserve shoot getting tangled with your
Speaker 1: main and shoot. So if you're gonna have to use
Speaker 1: your reserve shoot, it's better if the main shoot isn't deployed.
Speaker 1: But if you're worried or whatever and your main shoot
Speaker 1: is not working, don't hesitate to deploy that reserve shoot.
Speaker 1: Just go ahead and use it. That's what it's there for.
Speaker 1: That's right. In this house stuff Works article, Bell is
Speaker 1: quoted as saying, when in doubt, whip it out. That
Speaker 1: is so Bell. That is so Bell, So ted nugent too.
Speaker 1: We Um. We had a guy put in floors at
Speaker 1: our house once and he was a naked skuy diver.
Speaker 1: And he said, and he said one time he got
Speaker 1: blown off course. And this guy was not There was
Speaker 1: nothing that about him that made you say, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I bet you were a pretty handsome naked
Speaker 1: guy diver like he was. Whatever. The point is. The
Speaker 1: point is, um, he was blown off course once and
Speaker 1: he had to hitch a ride back naked except for
Speaker 1: his parachute. What's the point. I don't I don't get
Speaker 1: the naked sky up. He said, it was very Um,
Speaker 1: it was a very freeing sensation. You can imagine. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's what they say about being naked doing anything right.
Speaker 1: This is like wind whipping past your gentalia. Your gentalia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like s'mores. It's a contraction. Uh So. The other
Speaker 1: good thing about um the fail safe these days is
Speaker 1: that if you, let's say, you go out of like
Speaker 1: you blacked out Let's say you didn't regain consciousness and
Speaker 1: you weren't doing a tandem jump, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: Josh Clark is just hurtling to the ground passed out. UM,
Speaker 1: you will probably still be okay because these days they
Speaker 1: have UM these modern devices called automatic activation devices a
Speaker 1: A d S, and they use computerized sensors that basically say, hey,
Speaker 1: if you're falling below one thousand feet and you're going
Speaker 1: at least seventy eight miles per hour, then something's wrong
Speaker 1: and we're gonna we're gonna automatically deploy the backup parachute,
Speaker 1: this little computerized thing. So it's like you said, there,
Speaker 1: there's like, it's not a death sentence. If your shoot
Speaker 1: doesn't open. There's a lot of ways that you can
Speaker 1: resolve this. But there are some instances where your shoot
Speaker 1: just doesn't open. UM. What's crazy is is that people
Speaker 1: die from those very infrequently, UM or I should say,
Speaker 1: taking into account all jumps, there are very few people
Speaker 1: who die parachuting. UM. I think in two thousand, UM
Speaker 1: thirty two people died out of two point seven million
Speaker 1: skydive jumps, and then in just eleven out of two
Speaker 1: point eight million died, and that's not taking into account
Speaker 1: people who actually have survived these things where the their
Speaker 1: parachutes just didn't deploy and they hit the ground and
Speaker 1: they actually live, which does happen from time to time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I guess just some back of the envelope math
Speaker 1: which I'll probably get wrong if Bell is correct, and
Speaker 1: that about one in a thousand have some sort of
Speaker 1: partial malfunction at least, that would mean out of those
Speaker 1: two point eight million total jumps, there were about hundred
Speaker 1: mouth functions and only eleven deaths. Still, Yeah, so if
Speaker 1: you had, if you had, I think you're right, you
Speaker 1: know me and math too, So that's that was impressive.
Speaker 1: Now that one's pretty straightforward, I think. So out of
Speaker 1: there ish malfunctions, there were only eleven death so your
Speaker 1: chances of surviving a malfunction are still really really great. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there were a couple of people um that kind
Speaker 1: of famously survived. There was a woman named Victoria's Sillers
Speaker 1: whose nefarious evil husband tampered with her parachute to kill her,
Speaker 1: and she survived a drop from four thousand feet. A
Speaker 1: few years what happened to him? He went to prison.
Speaker 1: A guy named Michael Holmes jumped to two miles three
Speaker 1: point two kilometers. That's how far he dropped to the
Speaker 1: earth without his shote deploying. But he happened to land
Speaker 1: in some BlackBerry bushes and he lived. Um, are you
Speaker 1: do feel bad for the BlackBerry bushes? No? I thought
Speaker 1: that was a very sweet nice And I'm just picturing
Speaker 1: this person landing and reaching over and picking a BlackBerry.
Speaker 1: And for some reason that all sounded like you were sympathizing,
Speaker 1: like what the BlackBerry bushes? Do you deserve that? And now,
Speaker 1: of course this guy is probably listening. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: ad a BlackBerry with my stomach collapse. Right. But then
Speaker 1: the queen of all this chuck, the Queen Champion, was
Speaker 1: a woman named Vesna Vulovich, who in nineteen seventy two
Speaker 1: was a flight attendant on board the Yugoslav air flight
Speaker 1: that they suspect had a bomb. At any case, it
Speaker 1: came apart at thirty three thousand feet and she kept
Speaker 1: in the tail pinned between the wall or the back
Speaker 1: of the tail or the back of the plane and
Speaker 1: a service cart, dropped thirty three thousand feet out of
Speaker 1: the air and survived. Wow, isn't that crazy. Wow, that
Speaker 1: is Yeah, that's startling. Can you imagine like her just shakily,
Speaker 1: like putting a cigarette in her mouth and like walking
Speaker 1: away from the landing. Because this was Yugoslavi in n
Speaker 1: there's a hundred and ten percent chance that she smoked cigarettes. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course, unfiltered. You've got anything else, man, I got
Speaker 1: nothing else to pull that shoot, whip it out and
Speaker 1: when it doesn't work for sure to say shoot, well
Speaker 1: that's it for short stuff every pay we're out. Stuff
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