WEBVTT - Short Stuff: Parachute Emergency!

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, and welcome to the short Stuff. I'm Josh, and

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<v Speaker 1>there's Chuck and Dave's here in spirit, so it's short stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get it started. I know we've talked about whether

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<v Speaker 1>or not you have skied, divn doved, dived, Yes, all

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<v Speaker 1>of them, and I think that you have right. Didn't

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<v Speaker 1>you do a tandem? John? I did one time, and uh,

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<v Speaker 1>it was I think I said before, and I'll say

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<v Speaker 1>it again, I blacked out at first, like second or

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<v Speaker 1>two out of just yes, I've never blacked out from

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<v Speaker 1>terror before, but I did that time. Uh. And overall,

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<v Speaker 1>you did it and you were okay with it? Or

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<v Speaker 1>were you When you got to the bottom you were

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<v Speaker 1>like that was actually all oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes absolutely,

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<v Speaker 1>But I wouldn't do it again. There was a period

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<v Speaker 1>where I would have and then you was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I've done it too. We've both done it. Let's just

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<v Speaker 1>leave it at that and not breasts our luck. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I still have not, and I was thinking about it

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<v Speaker 1>today and I'm not scared too or anything. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have a problem with heights. I think it could be fun.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm also just kind of like, now if I

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<v Speaker 1>bother there's a lot at stake. Now, well, yeah, that's yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's one of those like early twentysomething thing that's when

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<v Speaker 1>it's best to do. But then there's plenty of people

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<v Speaker 1>who are like, I'm a middle aged guy, I'd ever

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<v Speaker 1>been doing it forever. The key is to never jump

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<v Speaker 1>one thousand times. You just need to jump nine times

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<v Speaker 1>and just stop right there. Apparently, yeah, because if you

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<v Speaker 1>ask Ron Bell, who is a certified usp A United

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<v Speaker 1>States Parachute Association member, I guess I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>they're called. Dude, Uh, do your jumper. He's made thirteen

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<v Speaker 1>thousand jumps and had fourteen mouth functions, and he said

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<v Speaker 1>that's about on target, about one in a thousand jumps.

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<v Speaker 1>Something could go wrong. But part of the reason for

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<v Speaker 1>this episode is that doesn't mean certain death just because

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<v Speaker 1>there is a malfunction. No, there's a lot of ways

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<v Speaker 1>that your parent shoot malfunction um, and it basically has

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<v Speaker 1>everything to do with your shoot not deploying correctly, which

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<v Speaker 1>the appropriate, appropriate thing to say when your shoot doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>come out is shoot, oh shoot, you know, terrible, thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>But the problem, so you're going about a hundred and

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<v Speaker 1>twenty miles an hour just to put this into perspective.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, it's terminal velocity after falling for twelve seconds.

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<v Speaker 1>A human being won't travel faster than that, no matter

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<v Speaker 1>how far they're falling. Charlie Cheen taught us all that

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<v Speaker 1>totally did back in the nineties. So you imagine how

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<v Speaker 1>much cocaine he was on when he was filming that movie.

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<v Speaker 1>It must have been like literally mind boggling. So you're

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<v Speaker 1>traveling a hundred twenty miles an hour straight towards the

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<v Speaker 1>Earth and your shoot doesn't go out as it should,

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<v Speaker 1>and there's a lot of different things that can happen

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<v Speaker 1>with a what's called a partial mauthfunction, and a partial

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<v Speaker 1>malfunction means the shoot tries to deploy, but something happens

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<v Speaker 1>to keep it from deploying correctly. Absolutely so, Um, there's

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<v Speaker 1>typically like something like your line getting messed up, where

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<v Speaker 1>the shoot comes out okay, but the two sets of

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<v Speaker 1>lines on either side of the shoot, UM might get

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<v Speaker 1>kind of wound up. Kind of like how when you

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<v Speaker 1>were a kid and you spun around on a swing

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<v Speaker 1>set that chained would would twist up ahead of you

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<v Speaker 1>above you. That same thing frequently can happen when you're parachuting. Um. Fortunately,

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<v Speaker 1>it's kind of easy to do. You just kind of

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<v Speaker 1>twist the other way and it'll untwist, just like with

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<v Speaker 1>the the swing set. The key though, is to not

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<v Speaker 1>go out of your mind with fear and forget how

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<v Speaker 1>to turn one way or the other. Yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 1>don't panic is the number one role of all of

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<v Speaker 1>the stuff. Was that a hitchhiker's guide reference, I mean, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>plus general life. As long as it was in there somewhere,

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<v Speaker 1>it's good. Yes, that's called the line twist. The other

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<v Speaker 1>partial malfunction is known as a line over, which means

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<v Speaker 1>that your shoot tries to deploy, it maybe does deploy,

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<v Speaker 1>but one of the lines has crossed over where the

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<v Speaker 1>shoot is, and so the shoot is sort of you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if you can imagine a parachute with one of the

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<v Speaker 1>lines kind of running through it instead of where it

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<v Speaker 1>should be, which is dangling down from it, then you've

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<v Speaker 1>got a parachute that's sort of working but not like

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<v Speaker 1>it should now. And that can be a real problem

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<v Speaker 1>when your main shoot doesn't open. But luckily people who

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<v Speaker 1>jumped out of planes plenty of times have figured out

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<v Speaker 1>that it might help if you have a second shoot

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<v Speaker 1>and we're gonna talk all about that second shoot and

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<v Speaker 1>how it probably will save your life after this message.

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<v Speaker 1>Wit you think it sounds great, Well, now we're on

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<v Speaker 1>the road, driving in your truck. Want to learn a

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<v Speaker 1>thing or two from Josh can Chuck. It's stuff you

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<v Speaker 1>should know, all right, Okay, Charles? So, Um, your main

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<v Speaker 1>shoot is deployed and not functioning. Either you've got a

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<v Speaker 1>line cross that won't undo, you've got a line over,

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<v Speaker 1>or in some cases, your shoot just hasn't deployed at all.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you do, big shot? What do you do? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>that's called a total malfunction. If your shoot just doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>come out or doesn't open at all, it's a complete failure. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you have a reserve shoot. You've always got another one

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<v Speaker 1>in there. And the good news is that any old

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<v Speaker 1>well I don't know any old because I'm sure they

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<v Speaker 1>make sure the most experienced parachuters pack that main shoot

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you're going. But you do not have to be

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<v Speaker 1>a certified f a A operator to pack that main shoot.

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<v Speaker 1>You do have to be that to pack that reserve

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<v Speaker 1>shoot though, right, which is like an extra level of

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<v Speaker 1>protection because those people are very sober, they know what

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<v Speaker 1>they're doing no nonsense. Crew cuts, every last one of them,

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<v Speaker 1>and they they will pack your reserve shoot very very well.

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<v Speaker 1>The thing is, if your reserve shoot doesn't open, this

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<v Speaker 1>article points it out pretty plainly. God wanted you dead.

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<v Speaker 1>Your number was Yeah, I mean, reserves are not supposed

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<v Speaker 1>to fail because they are the redundancy. But um, it

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<v Speaker 1>can be a manufacturing mistake. Um. Whereas the chances of

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<v Speaker 1>the reality is when your other, your main shoot fails,

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<v Speaker 1>it could just be that it was packed wrong, or

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<v Speaker 1>that you came out of the plane funny in your

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<v Speaker 1>body is at a weird angle, and it sounds kind

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<v Speaker 1>of funny to say, but if you are going to

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<v Speaker 1>have a parachute malfunction rather than a line over a

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<v Speaker 1>lying cross, you are actually better off if your main

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<v Speaker 1>shoot doesn't deploy at all, because that cuts down on

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<v Speaker 1>the chance of your reserve shoot getting tangled with your

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<v Speaker 1>main and shoot. So if you're gonna have to use

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<v Speaker 1>your reserve shoot, it's better if the main shoot isn't deployed.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you're worried or whatever and your main shoot

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<v Speaker 1>is not working, don't hesitate to deploy that reserve shoot.

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<v Speaker 1>Just go ahead and use it. That's what it's there for.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. In this house stuff Works article, Bell is

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<v Speaker 1>quoted as saying, when in doubt, whip it out. That

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<v Speaker 1>is so Bell. That is so Bell, So ted nugent too.

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<v Speaker 1>We Um. We had a guy put in floors at

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<v Speaker 1>our house once and he was a naked skuy diver.

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<v Speaker 1>And he said, and he said one time he got

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<v Speaker 1>blown off course. And this guy was not There was

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<v Speaker 1>nothing that about him that made you say, like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I bet you were a pretty handsome naked

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<v Speaker 1>guy diver like he was. Whatever. The point is. The

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<v Speaker 1>point is, um, he was blown off course once and

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<v Speaker 1>he had to hitch a ride back naked except for

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<v Speaker 1>his parachute. What's the point. I don't I don't get

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<v Speaker 1>the naked sky up. He said, it was very Um,

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<v Speaker 1>it was a very freeing sensation. You can imagine. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what they say about being naked doing anything right.

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<v Speaker 1>This is like wind whipping past your gentalia. Your gentalia. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like s'mores. It's a contraction. Uh So. The other

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<v Speaker 1>good thing about um the fail safe these days is

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<v Speaker 1>that if you, let's say, you go out of like

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<v Speaker 1>you blacked out Let's say you didn't regain consciousness and

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<v Speaker 1>you weren't doing a tandem jump, and all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 1>Josh Clark is just hurtling to the ground passed out. UM,

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<v Speaker 1>you will probably still be okay because these days they

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<v Speaker 1>have UM these modern devices called automatic activation devices a

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<v Speaker 1>A d S, and they use computerized sensors that basically say, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're falling below one thousand feet and you're going

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<v Speaker 1>at least seventy eight miles per hour, then something's wrong

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<v Speaker 1>and we're gonna we're gonna automatically deploy the backup parachute,

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<v Speaker 1>this little computerized thing. So it's like you said, there,

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<v Speaker 1>there's like, it's not a death sentence. If your shoot

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't open. There's a lot of ways that you can

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<v Speaker 1>resolve this. But there are some instances where your shoot

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<v Speaker 1>just doesn't open. UM. What's crazy is is that people

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<v Speaker 1>die from those very infrequently, UM or I should say,

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<v Speaker 1>taking into account all jumps, there are very few people

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<v Speaker 1>who die parachuting. UM. I think in two thousand, UM

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<v Speaker 1>thirty two people died out of two point seven million

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<v Speaker 1>skydive jumps, and then in just eleven out of two

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<v Speaker 1>point eight million died, and that's not taking into account

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<v Speaker 1>people who actually have survived these things where the their

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<v Speaker 1>parachutes just didn't deploy and they hit the ground and

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<v Speaker 1>they actually live, which does happen from time to time. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>And I guess just some back of the envelope math

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<v Speaker 1>which I'll probably get wrong if Bell is correct, and

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<v Speaker 1>that about one in a thousand have some sort of

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<v Speaker 1>partial malfunction at least, that would mean out of those

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<v Speaker 1>two point eight million total jumps, there were about hundred

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<v Speaker 1>mouth functions and only eleven deaths. Still, Yeah, so if

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<v Speaker 1>you had, if you had, I think you're right, you

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<v Speaker 1>know me and math too, So that's that was impressive.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that one's pretty straightforward, I think. So out of

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<v Speaker 1>there ish malfunctions, there were only eleven death so your

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<v Speaker 1>chances of surviving a malfunction are still really really great. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So there were a couple of people um that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of famously survived. There was a woman named Victoria's Sillers

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<v Speaker 1>whose nefarious evil husband tampered with her parachute to kill her,

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<v Speaker 1>and she survived a drop from four thousand feet. A

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<v Speaker 1>few years what happened to him? He went to prison.

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<v Speaker 1>A guy named Michael Holmes jumped to two miles three

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<v Speaker 1>point two kilometers. That's how far he dropped to the

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<v Speaker 1>earth without his shote deploying. But he happened to land

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<v Speaker 1>in some BlackBerry bushes and he lived. Um, are you

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<v Speaker 1>do feel bad for the BlackBerry bushes? No? I thought

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<v Speaker 1>that was a very sweet nice And I'm just picturing

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<v Speaker 1>this person landing and reaching over and picking a BlackBerry.

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<v Speaker 1>And for some reason that all sounded like you were sympathizing,

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<v Speaker 1>like what the BlackBerry bushes? Do you deserve that? And now,

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<v Speaker 1>of course this guy is probably listening. He's like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>ad a BlackBerry with my stomach collapse. Right. But then

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<v Speaker 1>the queen of all this chuck, the Queen Champion, was

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<v Speaker 1>a woman named Vesna Vulovich, who in nineteen seventy two

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<v Speaker 1>was a flight attendant on board the Yugoslav air flight

0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:38.280
<v Speaker 1>that they suspect had a bomb. At any case, it

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<v Speaker 1>came apart at thirty three thousand feet and she kept

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:46.000
<v Speaker 1>in the tail pinned between the wall or the back

0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:47.880
<v Speaker 1>of the tail or the back of the plane and

0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a service cart, dropped thirty three thousand feet out of

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<v Speaker 1>the air and survived. Wow, isn't that crazy. Wow, that

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<v Speaker 1>is Yeah, that's startling. Can you imagine like her just shakily,

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<v Speaker 1>like putting a cigarette in her mouth and like walking

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<v Speaker 1>away from the landing. Because this was Yugoslavi in n

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<v Speaker 1>there's a hundred and ten percent chance that she smoked cigarettes. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, unfiltered. You've got anything else, man, I got

0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:20.840
<v Speaker 1>nothing else to pull that shoot, whip it out and

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<v Speaker 1>when it doesn't work for sure to say shoot, well

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<v Speaker 1>that's it for short stuff every pay we're out. Stuff

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<v Speaker 1>you should know is a production of iHeart Radio. For

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.920
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