WEBVTT - Embracing The Moment 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:14.200 Hi, everyone, Welcome to your favorite podcast, Cheeky's and Chill. 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:16.920 I hear a lot of great feedback from you guys, 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:19.079 so you are enjoying the podcast and that makes me 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:21.759 so happy. So thank you so much for letting me 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:24.360 in your life. And if you are going through something, 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:26.960 it could be anything, because I feel like we all 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:29.960 go through something. I definitely was last week. Don't worry, 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:34.199 hang in there, it will pass. Take deep breaths. You 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:39.360 got this, okay, we got this hashtag no to self Okay, guys. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:41.920 So today I wanted to talk to you guys about 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:46.400 comparison and not so much maybe a little bit comparing 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.640 yourself to other people, but more than anything, comparing yourself 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.400 to your younger self or to an old version of 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:56.160 yourself and the importance of not doing that and why. 0:00:56.360 --> 0:01:02.400 So let's start off with age. Okay, and I get it. 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.920 We get older, our bodies change, our skin changes. Especially 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:07.920 for women, I feel like we feel it a lot, 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:10.160 even men. I think just men don't talk about it 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:13.920 as much, but for women it is something. It was 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:18.039 something that affected me a little more saying, oh my gosh, 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:20.880 like you know, I don't know, my booty is not 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:22.759 as perky as it used to be. I don't know, 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.399 like things like that let us women go through. And 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:31.479 I think it's important to really embrace where you're at now, 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.200 you know, instead of thinking, oh, my body was this 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:37.880 or my face looked like that when I was twenty Like, 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:42.039 I'm sorry, but I really really feel that the thirties 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:43.520 are the new twenties. And I know it's like, oh, 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.080 it's so cliche, but it's seriously like, I feel better 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:49.840 than ever, although I do miss things for my twenties, like, 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.600 for instance, a lot I had thicker hair when I 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.280 was twenty five. In my twenties, I hadn't gotten so 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:58.800 many surgeries. Being under affects your hair growth so much, 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.480 you guys, and then just age and stress and hormones 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:04.040 and all that stuff. So my hair is not as 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:06.440 thick as these are extensions by the way, okay, but 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.000 my hair is not as thick as it used to be. 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.960 And I'll look at pictures and I'm like, oh, my gosh, 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.040 my hair was so long and it was my real hair, 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:14.920 and it makes me sad that I'm like, you know what, 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.359 who cares. I'm wiser now, you know, And I think 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:21.440 it's important for us to really just learn to embrace 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:26.000 where we're at now and stop thinking about the things 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:28.640 that we don't have or that we had before and 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.520 we no longer have. Like that steals so much joy, 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.679 you guys. And that's what this podcast, or should I 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.519 say this episode is all about, is like not allowing 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.120 our thoughts to steal our joy, our present joy because 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.520 we're so stuck in either the past or even sometimes 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.639 the future, because that happens a lot, at least to 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.919 me sometimes where I'm thinking of something that hasn't even 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:51.840 happened yet, and I'm like, why am I thinking about 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.920 next year? Like just focus on right now what's in 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.959 front of me. And honestly, guys, the truth is another 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.359 way to look at it is a lot of people 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.600 don't make it to their thirties or their forties, or 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.840 the fifties to their sixties. Like a lot of people 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.919 like unfortunately, for whatever it may be, like either illness 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:13.239 or or a tragic accident, don't don't make it to 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.840 like the next decade of their life. And it's like, 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.440 that's why we have to learn to be grateful and 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:22.720 to enjoy what we're living in the moment, you know, 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:25.880 and just to kind of a little bit more on 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.160 you know, the age thing. I think that we need 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:33.320 to focus on our self worth, you know, on our 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:39.880 self worth, who we are inside, what we bring to 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:44.600 other people's lives. Look at estabia and not just in 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.760 the world, but in people that are in our lives. 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:51.040 You know, our self worth, our value. It's not just 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:52.960 about a number. And it took me a while to 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:56.520 really understand that before. And I think it's because the 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.000 industry that I'm in, to be honest, like it's like, oh, 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:00.960 you know, don't don't talk at your age, just always 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:01.840 say early thirties. 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:03.280 And I'm like, wait a second. I started. 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:06.680 I had to stop and say, what's wrong with saying 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.200 my real age? You know, for a long time, my 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.240 management was like, no, no, to say it because it 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.920 ages you and this and that, Like I'm proud of 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:15.560 being in the industry for ten years. 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.200 That doesn't shouldn't age me. 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:19.880 If anything, it's like, damn, I look back and I'm like, 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.880 thank God, I've accomplished so much at this age. You know, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.120 we have to look at it that way and not 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:30.880 let society rob us from what we've been able to 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:35.359 not only accomplish, but get through emotionally. We all go 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.799 through things, you know, and we're still here, Thank goodness, 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:42.000 we're still standing. We're doing our best in this very 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.200 sometimes cruel. 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:44.719 World, you know. 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:47.480 And it took me a while because I'm like, oh, 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.960 I used to think like, oh, I'm. 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:51.200 Getting too old for this or whatever. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:55.240 No, No, I want to be myself and that's okay. 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:58.520 Like my age is just my wisdom, you know, getting 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:01.320 an age wiser is would I say, you know, okay, 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.320 so okay, before I lost weight, I would even think about, 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:10.200 you know, there's this picture my very i think very 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:16.400 first red carpet and my legs look so nice and tone, 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:20.040 and I'd be like, damn, Like I just fixate on that, 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:23.200 and I'm like, yeah, maybe I'm not as lean, or 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.440 my boobies were so tiny, you know, and it's like 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:27.799 then I went over there and got some big tits 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.719 and then they're not in anymore, and I'm like, damn, 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.760 I miss my cute, little perky tits, you know, And 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:36.240 I'm like so hard on myself. Maybe yes, we're not 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.720 as lean, we're not as tight as when we were 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:40.360 when we were in our twenties, but. 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:41.360 Who freaking cares? 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:46.520 What about again, the wisdom, what we've learned, the maturity, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.120 Like I'm so proud of the woman I am today. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:50.840 There's no way. 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.760 That the way I've been able to handle certain things 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:57.240 and certain people in my life, I'd be able to 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.839 do that in my twenties. And that comes with age, 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:04.839 comes with growing through situations, and I think we need 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:10.440 to focus on that more than the physical aspect of aging. 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.400 You know, we can age gracefully. I mean, I tell you, guys, 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.320 I give botox, I do feelers here and there, like 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:17.080 I do my thing. 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:21.280 I want to. Good skincare is important, you know. 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.159 But at the end of the day, it always and 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:24.760 I know I tell you guys this all the time, 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:26.120 but it really is. 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:30.040 And I know it sounds so cliche, but like it is. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.920 The beauty is in your heart, in your mind and 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.400 what you speak about and what you share on social 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.200 media and what you're doing for the world, Like that 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:43.360 is beautiful and that is everlasting, that will always be 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:48.120 a part of you, your essence, your intentions in life. 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:51.719 You know, that is what I feel makes a person beautiful. 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:55.680 And again in my younger years, like, oh, I want 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.760 a certain type of guy and he needs to be 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.359 this hide and he all that is out of the 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.360 window when you get older and you're like, what is 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:06.680 really important? Their morals, their values, the way they treat 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:09.680 other people, all those things are so much more important 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.000 than if he's tall, dark and handsome, like. 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:16.880 That'll fade. It's his heart. 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:20.560 My therapist once told me, focus on the motor, not 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:24.640 the outside, the exterior of the car. The dude. You know, 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.760 maybe he's muscular, but his motor, that is what's going 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:29.800 to get you, guys. 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:30.440 Down the road. 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.160 And I was like, damn, always stuck with me. So hopefully, 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:45.160 you know, teach you a little some something. Okay, guys, 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.840 So while we're here, I also want to talk about 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:52.400 comparing ourselves to our past selves. Okay, whether it be 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:57.320 you know, you were an athlete before, or a CEO 0:07:57.600 --> 0:07:59.600 and you had to hire or a better position in 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:05.240 a company me or in my case, for a long time, 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:09.480 I was the only girl, you know, doing my thing. 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:11.560 I was like the only girl on billboard, like charting 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:15.040 on Billboard, and then came a lot of other wonderful women, 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.600 you know, and for me, I'd be like, damn, like 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.840 I'm not charting the way I used to. But because 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:25.000 there's a lot of amazing women that are coming out, 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:28.880 a lot of very talented women, and that makes me 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:32.720 happy because there's more women in music. But for a 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.360 little bit there, I was like, damn, Like it does 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:37.679 it can mess with you a little, and that's normal, 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.360 you know, But I think it is important to just 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:42.680 really and I say this all the time because it's true, 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:44.720 you guys, like I think we've talked about it, like 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:48.720 what causes depression and what causes anxiety. Anxiety is a 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:51.720 lot of the time, every case is different, but when 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.040 we are thinking of something that hasn't even happened yet, 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:56.520 we start psyching ourselves out and causes anxiety and it 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:58.280 makes us feel a certain way and we just start 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.760 thinking of things that haven't even happened. Depression is being 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:03.400 stuck in the past. And I've been there where I'm 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:06.880 like thinking, damn, and I feel less then, or I 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.400 feel not as cool, or I think am I losing 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:12.000 my mojo? 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:13.400 And that's another thing. 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.240 You know, We're gonna talk about all kinds of things here, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:18.240 but you know, that's one of my affirmations. I am 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:21.360 timeless and I am youthful, and that's it, Like I 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:25.560 can't compare myself to the younger artists that are coming 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.079 out or what I was, or if I was charting, 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:29.840 or if I was the only one for a while, 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:33.120 Like that doesn't exist anymore. And it was causing me 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.439 depression and was causing me to shrink. And as soon 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.280 as I let that go, I was like, you know what, 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:41.160 I'm going to step into my power, my power of now, 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.280 the power of Now. If you haven't read that book, 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:47.959 read it. Amazing. Emilio has a tattooed on his right 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:49.880 here in his arm, the Power of Now. It's an 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:54.120 amazing book, and there is so much power in the now, 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.600 in the present. It is a present, it is it's 0:09:57.640 --> 0:10:00.520 a gift, you guys, And we need to learn to 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:04.440 just focus on that, because if not, we're not able 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:08.440 to enjoy again, enjoy what we have in front of 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:11.120 us instead of always trying to chase what we want 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:13.760 or what we had. And it's like, dude, right now 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.560 is the only thing that is real. Like, right now, 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.120 this moment here, me speaking to you guys, is the 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:20.679 only thing that is real. I don't know what's going 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.280 to happen in two hours. I can't go back and 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:26.160 think about what I could have done, I should have 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:27.160 done what it was? 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.040 What good does that give? 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:32.640 Like? What good does that do? None at all at all. 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.200 And it takes a while to really train your mind 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:41.080 to be in the present, to be mindful. Mindfulness means 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.800 being present, being here, being with the person in front 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.200 of you, you know what I mean. Like there's just 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:49.760 so much power in that. And I think that we 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:54.320 live in such a fast paced world, you know. I 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.840 feel like every year's going by faster and faster and faster. 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:58.840 I can't believe that we're almost like there's only a 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:02.720 couple months left in the year, Like it's insane, and 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.680 it's happening so fast that we get stuck in like, oh, 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:08.960 I just I want to hurry up and do that, 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:11.000 and I want to accomplish that, and I want that, 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:11.480 I want. 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.920 The next this or what this is all about being 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:15.360 stuck in. 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.400 The past, and that causes depression and it just does 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:21.040 not allow you to be your best self. 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:22.920 And I'm telling you all of this. 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:26.520 I never ever talk about anything that I haven't experienced firsthand. 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:29.559 And this is something that I think I was able 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.360 to conquer, to really just embrace who I am now 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:37.840 just a few years ago, like three macs, three years, 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.880 and it takes time, and it takes maturity. And now 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:47.400 I really do enjoy being my age and knowing everything 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:51.520 that I know and embracing other women wherever they're at, 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.960 even if they're younger, even if they're prettier. Like I'm 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.200 just like, you know what, whatever, We're all just trying 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:58.679 to do our best here, you know. And I can 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.960 look at a woman and give her props and say, dude, 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.439 she's beautiful, she's very intelligent, and use it as inspiration 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:08.880 versus making myself feel bad. 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:09.480 You know. 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:15.280 I get it more than anything I understand, especially being 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.280 a woman in the industry, Like in the pressure that 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.000 we get, not just me and my industry, I think 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.760 all of us, I mean even anywhere in our workplace. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.200 Like you feel a lot of pressure whether you're a 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.280 woman or a man, and it's always and it's the 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.280 world that we live in. But we can't allow that 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.680 pressure to shrink us and make us smaller. It's like 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.920 we got to break through it, you know, in every way, 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:41.640 like boom pierce through it. 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:57.160 It's a thing. It really I get it. I know. 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:00.400 I mentioned athletes a little bit earlier, and I want 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.600 to kind of talk about that. I mean, obviously I 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:07.920 wasn't an athlete. I wish, but I have seen it 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:15.200 with some people that I know that played sports in 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:20.600 high school and they were very I guess excited to 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:22.520 make it to the big leagues or something, or they 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:23.040 get hurt. 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:24.280 I've seen it. 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:29.200 I've experienced it with even family members that were very 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:34.600 dedicated to baseball and for whatever reason, life took a 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:38.240 turn or they got hurt and they weren't able to 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:42.000 make it. And for a long time, I saw how 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:46.440 it just put them in a very stagnant situation. They 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.000 were stagnant. They weren't moving forward or backward. They were 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:50.360 just like I can't believe, they were. 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:50.920 So just. 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:55.840 In a hole of just thinking what could have been. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:02.000 And that's why for me, because I've seen it even 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:06.000 with certain people again family members, I guess because in 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:10.960 the singing industry, you know, like it's that's just life. 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.400 And I've learned that you can be here on the 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:18.600 top of the top, and it's not how you get there. 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:28.280 It's sustaining yourself and also knowing when not to give up. 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:32.360 It's not giving up when to walk away. I guess 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.280 to say, I did what I had to do, and 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:39.080 it's going to be my choice. 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:39.800 To stay here. 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.840 Or even if you come a little you come down 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.920 a little bit, like it's life. They say, what goes 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.320 up must come down one way or another. Either you're 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:52.680 going to do it gracefully or I've seen situations where 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.280 people have been at the top of their career making 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.520 an amazing, crazy amount of money. I don't even know 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:01.320 if it's amazing, but I'm just saying a crazy amount 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:07.120 of money and they just made a mistake and they. 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:08.200 Weren't true to themselves. 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:10.520 And I just say that true to themselves or true 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:16.640 about their actions, they were honest, and life just took 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.880 it away and they did it. They were so stuck 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.160 in that moment that I felt like they never grew 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:26.000 out of it. They stayed stuck there. And we're not 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:29.080 meant to stay stuck anywhere. We're meant to evolve and 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:33.640 to grow. And even if for me, I've thought about 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.560 it like things are going amazing, Thank God, in my career. 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:39.160 I'm able to live where I live right now, and 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:44.080 I'm very happy, but I'm not stuck. If I'm not 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.200 stuck with Okay, this is my home and I have 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.560 to pay, Like if I can't pay it next here, 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.440 I want to be okay with saying okay, I'll downsize. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:56.160 It's okay with going back to basics. There's not people 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.040 see it as I'm going backwards. No, you're just adjusting 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.880 to what's happening your life now. If imagine if like 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:06.560 I just do anything and everything to just work work, work, work, work, 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:08.480 and I'm not enjoying anything that I'm doing just to 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.560 pay this house off, but I'm not enjoying my relationship 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.800 or I'm so stressed over money, then I'm like the 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:19.160 purpose of life, I'm losing out on it because of 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:22.920 my ego of like, no, I need to sustain this 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:29.280 type of you know, image, this lifestyle because of who 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:30.800 I am or who I was. 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:32.400 And I see that all the time. 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.240 It's like, No, we need to be so confident in 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:42.600 who we are that it doesn't matter a title. That 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:46.000 shouldn't determine who we are inside and where we're going 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:50.720 and what we can still do in the world for others, 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.680 whether we have a title or not, whether we are 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:56.480 on the top of our game or not. Like, and 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:59.080 I know it sounds crazy, but it's something that I 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:03.120 have seen I have grown up in a very successful family. 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:08.400 I've grown up around athletes, and I've seen how much 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:14.119 it's affected them because they make that their identity. And again, 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.960 I've done it with my past self, you know, and 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:21.080 it's like, no, it's okay. Before I was like, I 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.960 was so naive, you know, I was I believed everything 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:27.360 and the world was so much better when I was naive, 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.520 is what I thought. And I'm like, no, like, it's okay. 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.879 I'm meant to evolve, i am meant to grow, i 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.200 am meant to be better. I am meant to be different. 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.080 If people don't tell me, hey, you've changed, then I'm 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.320 not living. I'm not doing what a human is supposed 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.399 to do. I'm not supposed to be the same in 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.720 any way. And that's okay. It takes a while to 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.760 get there and to embrace that, but I finally got 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:51.800 a hold of it, and I'm like, Okay, it's fine 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:54.760 not to compare yourself with anyone else, not to compare 0:17:54.760 --> 0:18:00.240 yourself with who you were where you were, And it 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:03.520 just takes. It takes just knowing who you truly are 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:08.000 in the depths of your heart, and it takes time, 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:10.879 and it takes a lot of tears and accepting, but 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:15.600 it is possible. So all I can tell you, guys 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:18.720 is I feel you. I understand. 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:19.159 I know. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:22.159 We live in a world where there's a lot of 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:26.080 pressure and how we should look, where we should be, 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.360 you know, social media, and it's like, oh the cars 0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:34.639 that we drive, and it's like doesn't even matter, guys, 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:39.200 Like it really doesn't matter. Like sometimes when I'm having 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.240 a hard day, like it's been a couple times at lame, 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:45.000 I'm sitting there and I'm just like, okay, I have 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.320 to remind myself. I'm like, okay, this is my job. 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:51.480 This isn't who I am, you know, Like it's who 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:53.399 I am. But at the end of the day, there 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:57.200 are more important things than saying the right things. 0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:58.760 You know. Because I'm on live television and there's so 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.240 much fucking pressure. I'm just like, oh my god, And 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:02.000 I'm like, you know what. 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:03.480 Once I get that out of my head, I'm just like, 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:05.960 you know what, I am here, I am present, i 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:09.919 am in the now. I'm going to enjoy myself right now. 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:12.760 It completely changes everything. And I get out of my 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.399 head and I enjoy and I'm in my skin and 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:17.919 I'm in my flesh and I'm like in the present, 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:20.080 not thinking of did I say the right thing or 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:24.600 how do I look? Or it robs us of so 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:31.199 much joy in the present, guys. So anyways, I just 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.639 want to share with you, guys, because I think that 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:37.080 these are things that I think about, that I see, 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:41.960 that I observe, and you know, just like sharing it 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:43.560 all with you, guys, and I hope that it can 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.520 inspire you in some way and make you feel empowered 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:51.080 in yourself and where you are now so that you 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:54.320 can enjoy the now, the present, because again it is 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.000 a gift, so unwrap it, you know. And before I 0:19:58.080 --> 0:19:59.760 let you guys go, I do want to end on 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:02.919 this note. I think it's something that we are aware 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:11.320 of but we don't really appreciate, is time. And I 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.240 am telling you guys, is because after my mom passed 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:17.760 away and the way she passed away, it really put 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:20.480 things into perspective, especially when it has to do with 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:24.400 time and how that is something you can never get back. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:31.520 And from what I hear, especially with my mom. You know, 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:34.199 her and I weren't on speaking terms when she passed, 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:36.240 and she would say, I just need time. I need time. 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:40.840 And then time was taken from us and time did 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:43.119 what it was going to do. You know, we weren't 0:20:43.280 --> 0:20:45.840 ever able to speak. So I think it's it was 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:47.439 a learning lesson for me. And I don't know if 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:49.639 that resonates with some of you, but I think it 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:56.560 is important to appreciate the time again in the now. 0:20:57.160 --> 0:21:00.439 And yes, the years are going by faster, but we 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.360 have right now, We have the day, you know, and 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:10.000 sometimes we get so stuck in tomorrow that we don't 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:13.960 do what we need to do now right now. Anyways, 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:16.000 I'll leave you guys with that, so let's take advantage 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:17.120 of the time that we have now. 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:17.400 Guys. 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:19.600 That's it, and I love you guys, and I hope 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:22.520 that this episode can help you in one way or another. 0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:24.560 That is my goal, that is my mission in life 0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:29.359 with this podcast is to inspire you, to empower you 0:21:30.400 --> 0:21:34.920 to yes, inspire you to become the best version of yourself, 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:38.639 and not to beat yourself up if you fall off track, 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:42.399 let's get back on it. So I love you and 0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:46.560 thank you for listening to Cheeky's and Chill. Thank you 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:50.080