WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: How to Stop Projecting Problems onto Your Partner, Supporting Johnny’s Coming Out and Practicing Patience While Manifesting

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, now go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beef.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello beautiful, this is Jackie.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to start off by saying thank you so

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<v Speaker 3>much for creating the safe Space and just being so vulnerable,

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<v Speaker 3>open and honest with your podcast. You hit home on

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<v Speaker 3>so many levels and a lot of the times I'm

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<v Speaker 3>literally in tears listening to your words and just the

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<v Speaker 3>amount of ways that I can relate to you.

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<v Speaker 4>It's out of this world.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I've literally thought, like I wish I could call

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<v Speaker 3>her up and like just you know, lay it all

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<v Speaker 3>out and have a moment of vent, you know, with

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<v Speaker 3>someone that I feel can relate and you've done that now,

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<v Speaker 3>Like you literally gave me the space to be able

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<v Speaker 3>to leave you a voicemail which I'm so happy and

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<v Speaker 3>congratulations on your engagement. I am so happy for all

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<v Speaker 3>the new changes coming in your life. You diserve them

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<v Speaker 3>and embrace them. You're so beautiful and with your last episode,

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<v Speaker 3>I just wanted to ask. I know you know therapy

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<v Speaker 3>is really important, which I have requested, but any more

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<v Speaker 3>tips you can give on not projecting your current or

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<v Speaker 3>your past PTSD traumas to your partner. Anything you can

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<v Speaker 3>give me an advice would help. I appreciate you and

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<v Speaker 3>take care and hopefully we can meet soon.

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<v Speaker 1>Jack You just made me smile so much. You guys

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<v Speaker 1>make me so freaking happy. Like you have no idea,

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<v Speaker 1>So Jackie, thank you, thank you for listening, thank you

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<v Speaker 1>for your words. Just thank you. My eyes are watery. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So that's good that you are looking for therapy for counseling,

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<v Speaker 1>that's awesome. Any advice that I can give you, well,

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<v Speaker 1>let me tell you. I have things and yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>guess you could say PTSD from like past relationships that

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<v Speaker 1>I have been so intentional with not bringing them into

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<v Speaker 1>my current relationship. But by the way, thank you so

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<v Speaker 1>much for congratulating me on my engagement. The best advice

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<v Speaker 1>I can give you is just being aware is like

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<v Speaker 1>the first and the most important step, and stopping yourself

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<v Speaker 1>in your tracks, like when you are about to say

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<v Speaker 1>something or act a certain way because of your past traumas,

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<v Speaker 1>for you to just literally stop yourself in your tracks

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<v Speaker 1>and be like, wait, hold on, let me change what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, let me start over, apologize, always being vulnerable

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<v Speaker 1>and open and willing to just say, hey, I'm so sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>And that's what I've done, because there are times when

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<v Speaker 1>with Emilio, I will do something and I'm not proud

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<v Speaker 1>of it, but in the moment, it's like the ego

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<v Speaker 1>wants to take over. So I'll just step away and

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<v Speaker 1>then I'll come back and I'll just say, Emilio, I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have acted that way,

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<v Speaker 1>because honestly, like as much work as we do every

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<v Speaker 1>single day, like some things are just gonna happen, but

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<v Speaker 1>you have to be aware of it and be humble

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<v Speaker 1>enough to apologize and excuse yourself. So don't beat yourself

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<v Speaker 1>up about it either. I think your partner will really

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<v Speaker 1>appreciate that. And another thing Jackie is knowing that not

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<v Speaker 1>every person that we encounter is the same and shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be the same person with every person you encounter. If

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<v Speaker 1>that makes sense, like you should come in and say

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to start with a clean slate and it's okay,

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<v Speaker 1>like to even be in a relationship for a year

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<v Speaker 1>and just tell your partner, you know what, we have

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<v Speaker 1>both made mistakes, we have both heard each other's feelings.

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<v Speaker 1>Can we just start on a clean slate again. I've

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<v Speaker 1>done that where it's like, okay, you know what, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to bring anything up that happened in the

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<v Speaker 1>past or what you did to me or anything. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>just start over. And that always helps as well. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of like a reset sort of thing. So

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<v Speaker 1>that's another thing as well. Therapy is definitely going to help.

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<v Speaker 1>So I can't wait for you to start that. But

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<v Speaker 1>that is the best advice I can give you now.

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<v Speaker 1>And of course, like reading books on healing you know yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I always said, meditation and prayer because when I

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<v Speaker 1>meditate and start my day with prayer, I just feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm in a better mood. Like, I just am

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<v Speaker 1>more at peace and I don't bark as much for

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<v Speaker 1>the lack of a better word. But I hope that helps, Jackie.

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<v Speaker 1>And maybe you can send me another question regarding a

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<v Speaker 1>certain situation or a certain act, and then I can

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<v Speaker 1>give you more advice. But I hope that helps. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. The man Unava so a big, big,

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<v Speaker 1>big hug. Thank you. You made me really happy. The

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<v Speaker 1>next question comes from an anonymous listener.

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<v Speaker 4>Question is how did you deal with Johnny coming out?

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<v Speaker 4>I know that when I came out to my family,

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<v Speaker 4>they're very religious, and I know that you did talk

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<v Speaker 4>about your mom. You don't know if she would have

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<v Speaker 4>accepted it right away, but do you think that she

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<v Speaker 4>would agree with Johnny at the end? Like, do you

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<v Speaker 4>think that she would accept him?

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<v Speaker 2>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, it was very tough because my family had

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of opinions and a lot of things to

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<v Speaker 1>say about it. But I just knew that I had

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<v Speaker 1>to stand by Johnny and support him. We all had

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<v Speaker 1>gone through so much with like losing our mom, that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I have to have his back, and I

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<v Speaker 1>have also had my share of you know, I guess

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<v Speaker 1>you could say like experiences, you know, where I had

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<v Speaker 1>a girlfriend as well, and so I was very familiar

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<v Speaker 1>with that. So that's why I was so compassionate with Johnny.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I can't say that all my family members

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<v Speaker 1>except Johnny one hundred percent, But I think the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that I was there with him one hundred and ten percent,

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred and twenty percent, I think it's helped him

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<v Speaker 1>just live his true self. As far as my mom,

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<v Speaker 1>it's hard to say whether she would accept him or

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<v Speaker 1>not from what I know. You know, my mom would

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<v Speaker 1>have had a hard time with it, but eventually she

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<v Speaker 1>loved her kids so much that she would just she'd

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<v Speaker 1>be okay with it. Sometime would have to pass, and

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<v Speaker 1>then she would just say, you know what, if that's

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<v Speaker 1>what you want to do, if that's how you want

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<v Speaker 1>to live your life, then I love you and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to walk you through it, like I know my mother.

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<v Speaker 1>My mom would have been a little resistant in the beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>but just give you a little bit of time and

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<v Speaker 1>then she'd come around, because that's just what you do

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<v Speaker 1>when you love your kids. It's like you want the

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<v Speaker 1>best for them and you don't want to make their

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<v Speaker 1>life harder. Thank you for your question, by the way. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So the next question comes from Haiti.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a quick question.

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<v Speaker 5>I love you, by the way. So I recently started

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<v Speaker 5>a business. It's called Electric Smile. It's a teeth pointing

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<v Speaker 5>bit business. Sometimes I feel like so cringey when I

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<v Speaker 5>post or post about myself. I'm learning to accept that

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<v Speaker 5>that's what you have to do when you're starting a business.

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<v Speaker 5>But how do you get over that and how do

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<v Speaker 5>you get over the fear of just doubting yourself when

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<v Speaker 5>you start a business.

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<v Speaker 1>Haiti, what a great question, and look at you. I

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<v Speaker 1>love that starting your business. I love anything that's teeth

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<v Speaker 1>whiting girl. So if you want to send me one,

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<v Speaker 1>I got you. Okay. Well, it just takes time. I

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<v Speaker 1>think with social media and everyone having an opinion and

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<v Speaker 1>having something to say, and I get it, like it

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<v Speaker 1>causes a little bit of anxiety. Every time before I

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<v Speaker 1>post something, I'm like, okay, God give me the stream

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<v Speaker 1>that just let me speak from the heart. I pray

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<v Speaker 1>for everything. I'm always talking to God all day long. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's just a little suggestion, a little advice. But

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's just going to take time and for

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<v Speaker 1>you to really just say, you know what, like, I

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<v Speaker 1>have this platform, i have this business mind, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>grateful that God in the universe allowed me to do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Give yourself more grace, to be honest words, I just

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<v Speaker 1>give yourself more grace. It's gonna take a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of time and for you just you have to just

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<v Speaker 1>love yourself a little more. I get it. Sometimes I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like I see stuff or right hear myself and I'm like, damn,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do this better. But now I've learned. Instead

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<v Speaker 1>of just saying, oh my god, I hate this about

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<v Speaker 1>myself and I don't know how I sound, I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>next time, I'm gonna do this in a different way.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm giving myself constructive criticism. So I get it. But

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<v Speaker 1>give yourself more love, you know what I mean. Like,

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<v Speaker 1>it's gonna take some time and little by little you'll

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<v Speaker 1>get better and you'll feel more comfortable. But I am

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<v Speaker 1>very proud of you. That's awesome. I'm serious about. If

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<v Speaker 1>you want to send me a little you know, teeth whining, kit,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that that helps. Haiti the man, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>I love you too, Okay, okay. Our next question comes

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<v Speaker 1>from Janay ooh.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Cheeky's My question for you today is how do

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<v Speaker 2>you deal with not seeing your manifestations come true quick enough?

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<v Speaker 2>How do you stay motivated? How is it that you

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<v Speaker 2>don't get impatient or discouraged on your journey? What is

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<v Speaker 2>it that you do on the daily that really helps

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<v Speaker 2>you stay consistent with being motivated and being inspired? Thank

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<v Speaker 2>you so much, Tikis love.

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<v Speaker 1>You, Hi Janey. Okay, girl, let me just tell you.

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<v Speaker 1>I've talked about my vision boards and how I've been

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<v Speaker 1>like manifesting and envisioning my life for so long. Crazy enough, Johnny,

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<v Speaker 1>my brother is working at my mom's office, and he

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<v Speaker 1>found like a bunch of my personal stuff in the files.

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<v Speaker 1>And I had been writing a book okay on my computer,

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<v Speaker 1>like manifesting that I was going to write a book, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>way back in two thousand and seven, okay, And it

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<v Speaker 1>took till what twenty fourteen for it to manifest. Back

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<v Speaker 1>then in two thousand and seven, I didn't know what

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to write about. I had a whole title.

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<v Speaker 1>I just knew I wanted a book. So with that

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<v Speaker 1>being said, it took seven years for me to see

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<v Speaker 1>it come true. I think you just have to like

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<v Speaker 1>send out to the universe every single day. Literally, that's

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<v Speaker 1>why a vision board works because you look at it

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<v Speaker 1>every day and you're like, Okay, it's going to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>And of course it's not just like, oh, it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to magically fall out of the sky. Like you need

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<v Speaker 1>to do certain things on a daily basis to just

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<v Speaker 1>say and throw good energy towards your goal. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna take a while. Like I had on my vision

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<v Speaker 1>board that I wanted to be on the Latina magazine

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<v Speaker 1>cover for four years and it happened like four years later,

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<v Speaker 1>but it happened.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just like literally like it's gonna happen one way

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<v Speaker 1>or another. I don't know, but it's going to happen,

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<v Speaker 1>and God is going to place everything in the right

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<v Speaker 1>place and I'm going to go in like the right

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<v Speaker 1>path and everything's just gonna happen. Like it's literally believing

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<v Speaker 1>every single day and being patient, like and what you

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<v Speaker 1>could do every day is just tell yourself it's coming.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel it. It's almost there, and it's just like

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<v Speaker 1>it's an everyday thing and then before you know it,

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<v Speaker 1>it happens. I know it sounds like oh, That's a

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<v Speaker 1>lot easier said than done, but it works. Manifesting and

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<v Speaker 1>writing down your goals as much as you possibly can.

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<v Speaker 1>Like when you write them down, I don't know what.

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<v Speaker 1>There's so much power behind the pen and the pencil,

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<v Speaker 1>like with you seeing it and writing it and believing it,

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<v Speaker 1>it will happen, Jenney, So just be patient. I know

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<v Speaker 1>you probably have heard that and it's like annoying, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'm literally I'm telling you just be patient and believe

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<v Speaker 1>in yourself and in what you're manifesting. I believe in you,

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.640
<v Speaker 1>and I know whatever it is, it will happen. Because

0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:29.959
<v Speaker 1>your name is Jeanne, and we're like, we're sisters. We're

0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.760
<v Speaker 1>soul sisters apparently, so it's gonna happen. Girl, don't even trip. Okay, Jackie,

0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:37.480
<v Speaker 1>my lovely anonymous listener, Haiti and Jeannee, thank you so

0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.160
<v Speaker 1>much for submitting your questions. I love being a big

0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.200
<v Speaker 1>sister for you guys, and I really hope I helped

0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.000
<v Speaker 1>put things into perspective for you all and for the

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:48.240
<v Speaker 1>rest of my listeners. I'm happy to answer your questions

0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 1>about anything, whether you're struggling in a relationship, friendship, have

0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.520
<v Speaker 1>a question about health, beauty or romance. Leave your questions

0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.760
<v Speaker 1>for me at speakpipe dot com. Slash Cheeky's and Chill

0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:00.000
<v Speaker 1>podcast a celebrox.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a.

0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 1>Production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network. Follow us

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<v Speaker 1>on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's

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<v Speaker 1>c h i q u i s. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out

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<v Speaker 1>on YouTube.