WEBVTT - Ep. 159 — So, About That Guy Who Scammed Tiffany Out of $25,000... 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:21.880 Hey, hey, hey, we're black, we're black, We're brown. 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:25.880 It's Tiffany, except y'all it's Mandy. 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:28.520 Yes, I've got some shady news, mandra. 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:31.480 Oh please share. Let's kick it off with shade. 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.760 Yes, because you know, but it's like good shade, you know, 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:37.479 when bad things happen to bad people. I mean, I'm sorry, Jesus, 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:39.640 just take a moment. Just give me a moment, so 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:42.159 if you might, you might know if you follow the 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:43.479 budgetista that. 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:47.280 Haven't heard of her, have no idea what you're talking about. 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:50.960 Well, the infamous start of the brand was like a 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:56.280 really bad time. So right before the recession, young vigeanista myself, 0:00:56.480 --> 0:01:00.200 I made the extremely poor choice to trust who was 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:03.280 a friend of mine with like how do you invest? 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:05.119 Because back then, you know, when you're like in your 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:07.759 early twenties, you think that if someone has a nice car, 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:09.240 in a nice apartment and all, like. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:10.800 Really not like Ferrari all that stuff. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.679 I really thought that that meant he actually had money. 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:15.440 You know, he was like in his thirties and I 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.640 was in my early twenties. I was like, Wow, he's 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:22.480 got money. Let's call him Bob. Bob's got money, you know, 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:26.120 and so I'd bought. I just bought a house, and 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:28.200 I was saving. I was doing all the right things, 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:29.720 and I said, I want to learn how to invest 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:32.240 outside of I had money in my retirement account. I 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.399 was setting outside that, but I had excess money, and 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.560 I was like, what do I do with this excess money? 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.720 I want to learn how to invest. You know who's 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.160 independently wealthy, Bob. So I reached out to Bob and 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.120 I had sucker written all over my face. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:45.399 Oh man, you went to him. 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.240 Yes, So long story, very very very short. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.960 I ended up in twenty five thousand, no, twenty five 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:57.480 to thirty thousand, well, twenty five thousand dollars in debt. 0:01:58.200 --> 0:01:59.840 I took money off of a credit card because we 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:01.840 were invested, and put it back. I mean, I didn't 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:03.360 even know you could take money off a credit card, 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:05.360 so he convinced me to do so. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:08.040 Meanwhile, back then I had no credit card debt. 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.080 I used to use like one card to like pay 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.520 for gas and just paid off three month, so I 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:15.600 wasn't even familiar. And by then too, I had paid 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.840 off my my undergrad student loan debt because it wasn't much. 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.600 I commuted from home. And my parents helped out. 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:23.880 And so maybe I had like five thousand dollars an 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.399 undergrad debt, so I paid that off, and I think 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.280 I was still in grad school, so I didn't have 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.640 I was accumulating my master's debt, but I didn't like 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.040 have it have it yet. So anyway, I was basically, 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.160 you know, pretty good. I had a home, and so 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:39.320 we did this thing and took the money off the card. 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:40.639 He promptly ran away with it. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:45.480 But before I realized he ran away with it, I 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:48.560 bought I bought a online to. 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:51.360 See this is I was stuper on top of stupid, so. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:55.440 I bought an online course from like a well known 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.239 like financial expert that we all kind of know now. 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.280 I think it was like something crazy. 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:03.600 It was definitely over five thousand dollars because I wanted 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:05.119 to learn how to start a business. And I was like, look, 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:08.720 I'm about to be rich, Mandy, Manny, don't don't you gas, Mandy. 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:10.760 I know how it ends, and I'm still just like 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.959 on the ende of my seat. 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:14.240 I'm about to be rich. 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.480 I mean, according to Bob, we're about to take this 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:19.560 money and it's gonna the money's then you'll be twenty 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.440 one hundred dollars a week, Mandy for two years. You 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:25.840 do the math, Mandy, sounds about right, right, I was like, 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:27.720 sounds about foolish. And I said sure, and I'm not 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:31.120 gonna tell nobody because they're just gonna ran on my parade. 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.160 I'll let them, I'll let it rain on them and 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.280 then they'll see that I was right. So this was, 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:37.560 you know, twenty three, twenty four year old tipany thinking. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:41.480 So yeah, I, I, you know, gave Bob the money 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.040 he but I didn't know he ran away with that 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:45.040 at first because he said I won't I won't get 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.440 my money like the first month. It'll start coming in 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:50.840 after that. And then yeah, so then I ended up. 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:52.680 I didn't even use the car to like buy clothes 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:54.160 and notything like that. I literally bought. 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:54.720 This one course. 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.040 So it took whatever it is it was in the 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.440 twenties that that I took off to give to Bob, 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:01.960 And it took me from that to thirty or thirty 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.480 five thousand dollars from no credit card deb to thirty 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:08.600 or thirty five thousand spent so long, and so here 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:11.800 I am taking this course which was like like it 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:14.440 was weak at best, but I'm like, you know, I 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.400 wanted to prepare for this new money that's coming in 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:19.440 that never came. And then after month one, Bob, were 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:22.640 you at calling, texting, crying. I mean, like, it took 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:25.600 me a long time to really understand that Bob took 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:26.760 my money because we signed a contract. 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.920 I'm like, well, I have a contract, so which. 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:33.719 Meant nothing because Bob, like you know, just ran away basically, 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.479 and I found that there was someone else that there was, 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:39.000 like a mutual friend that he'd introduced me to. 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:40.479 At some point I reached out to him and he 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:41.760 was like, bobst my money. 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.000 Too, and I was like wow, I said, well, I 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:45.560 don't know about you, but I'm getting my money back. 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:48.760 So for two years, really maybe like a year and 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.960 a half, I pursued Bob everywhere he went, everywhere. 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:54.000 I followed him on social media. I tried to do 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:55.640 pop ups. I'm like, oh, you want to be in Chicago. 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:57.840 I don't even have the money for Chicago, but I'm 0:04:57.839 --> 0:04:59.400 gonna see you one day, Bob. You gotta come by 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:01.800 New York and I'm gonn to you. And it never happened, 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.160 even though he was terrible, because this is what was 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.600 so bad about Bob is not that he wouldn't pick 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:10.400 up the phone, Mandy. Can you imagine Bob would pick 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.200 up the phone and be like, Oh, I'm sending you 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:12.920 the me tomorrow. 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:14.400 Pick up the phone. 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.200 Oh, you didn't get my wire transfer. It's in there, 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:21.479 and then had the nerve to ask me at one point, Oh, 0:05:21.560 --> 0:05:23.960 I got stuck in whatever country's in could you just 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.400 wire me like fifteen hundred dollars and as soon as 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:27.599 I get back, I'll have your money. 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:30.760 I said. So, I'm supposed to give you my fifteen 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.919 hundred dollars for my mortgage to you, Bob, and you 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.159 have not paid me the twenty five thousand that you 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.000 owe me. Wow. And he was just like, you know, 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:39.320 it's only because I'm stuck here. 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:41.080 I mean, if you want your money, I can't be 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.280 stuck in whatever country that he's supposedly stuck in. 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:45.600 Of course, Nee Lissa said, I did not give him 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.400 the fifteen hundred dollars. I was like, well, give me 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:47.800 my money. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.120 So that went on for like a year and a half. 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:52.400 I mean everything, it just was. I was hysterical at 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:52.880 one point. 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.800 Was he also one of the co founders of the 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:55.600 Fire festival. 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:57.560 You know, he mustn't. He must know that. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.000 But the thing is, I've been to his pen half, 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.839 like he's had a party at his penthouse suite in 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:03.320 New York. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:05.760 You know, I've seen him and it's his ferrari. So 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:06.919 I'm like, Bob's got money. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.040 Yes, that was the people's money, and so yeah, So 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:11.320 that went on for like a year and a half. 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.320 I never got my money, but it then there was 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.520 session hit then, I you know, so here I was 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.040 thirty five thousand dollars in credit card debt. My student 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:21.919 loans finally hit because I graduated until fifty something thousand, 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.800 and my condo I could no longer afford two hundred 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.960 and like twenty thousand. So I was like, you know, 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:32.200 over over three hundred thousand dollars in debt and no 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:35.279 income coming in, and it was just really devastating. I 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:38.000 moved back home, started the Budgetista. As I began to 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.320 rebuild my life, I realized I wasn't the only one 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.680 who needed rebuilding. And so, you know, because my father 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.760 was an accountant in the CFO, and he'd already sent 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:50.080 me to all of these classes, had all these like certifications, 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:53.760 Like when I was younger about how to manage our money. 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.039 And so the investment part is the only part that 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:59.159 we never really talked about. That's why I made that mistake. 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:01.359 But anyway, I dug myself out, and as I was 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:04.520 digging myself out, the teacher and me started helping my friends, 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.200 and then their friends and then their friends, and the 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.760 budgetista was born. Basically, so, I think last week we 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:11.880 talked about something and it made me google Bob. 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:13.600 I said, let me see. 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:16.000 And meanwhile, so at one point I had to, like, 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:19.640 I had to release the expectation that I was ever 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.560 going to get my money back, like I had gone. 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.440 I got a friend of mine was a lawyer. She 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.120 looked over the contract. She said, Takes, did you read this? 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:27.640 I was like, now, she said, so apparently Bob is 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:30.560 a citizen of France. Although and so she was like, 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.160 so this says you can sue him in France. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.360 I was like, oh, well, clearly I didn't read it. 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.960 And so and by then too, I had already spoke 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:42.920 to Carlos, my accountant, and so what Carlos did was 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:44.760 he said, this, we can start to write this off 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.880 a year after year as a loss. So I already 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.640 you know I took the you know, my my taxes 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.600 reflected this this investment loss, and I said, okay. So 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:55.880 then I blocked Bob on everything because he was like weird. 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.200 He would call me and reach out and pretend like 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:00.240 he sends the money or he was sending it, and 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:02.360 it got to be honestly, it got to be a 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.880 lot on my spirit, you know, like like expect and 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:07.800 expecting like I was going to get the money didn't come. 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:10.040 So I blocked him on the phone. I blocked him everywhere. 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:12.160 But then like literally I haven't thought about him, like 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:13.880 I don't know the last six seven years. 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:17.160 And then I did something we spoke about last week, 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:20.160 maybe google him. So apparently Bob. 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:23.960 Has been scamming everywhere with Who's surprised. So Bob has 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:26.840 scammed in Florida, where I met him. He's on trial 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:29.200 for that, scammed in Georgia. But I remember he said 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.160 he like stayed a lot of time, like spent a 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:33.320 lot of time in Atlanta, and scammed in New York. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:36.199 But Pete this, I mean, I'm sure Bob scamed regular people. 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.080 But Bob, being the fool that he is, scammed the 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:45.440 United States government. There is literally a he's in federal 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:47.280 prison right now, which I'm like, oh, look at that, 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:48.280 just dessert. 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.520 So where did they prosecute him? Was it in the States? 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:56.320 Yeah, so apparently Bob so themly there's like a like 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.520 I was looking online and it says the United States 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:02.520 of America's versus Bob, not his name obviously, and apparently 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:07.360 what he tried to do is, Hey, they're prosecuting him 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:12.120 for aggravated identity theft. He tried to make false statements 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.240 on a US passport. So I don't know if he 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.240 had been kicked out and tried to come back, but 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.680 he tried to falsify and get like a fake passport, 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:22.480 which is not super smart, and so you're not gonna 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.280 win against the United States government. And so he's now 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.880 in federal prison because that is a federal you know, offense, 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.199 and like I'm just reading all this like how he's 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.280 fighting against it, saying he didn't know that he filled 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.360 it out incorrectly by a mistake, and they're like, you 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.240 travel to over thirty different countries and you're you know, 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.200 such as such a year's old forty seven years old, 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.520 that like that wasn't a mistake. You did it on purpose, 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.720 So yeah, it looks like and meanwhile, it's not just there. 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.840 Bob also has pending cases in Georgia and New York. 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:53.440 And I said, look hip, Bob, Well, scammers never see 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:54.920 so now I know what the blob up. 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.200 Because of the fire festival talk. It made me say, 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:58.760 let me see what my scammer's up to. 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.280 So yeah, I was running away and I'm in prison. 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:03.480 So hopefully, you know, he'll stay there for a long while. 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:05.840 And I know, like the people that he sold from 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.200 will never get their money back, but hopefully it didn't 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:09.720 set them. 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.000 Back in a way that they never recovered. 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.240 But hey, Bob, if they let you get rand Ambish 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.640 in jail, tell your bunk made. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.120 I said, hey, you know, let me stop. 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.200 But yeah, what it just shows though, is that, like 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.960 you know, eventually the things you do do catch up 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:25.600 to you. Even you might not reap what you sew, well, 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.720 you might not reap where you sew, like I you know, 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:29.720 wasn't able to do something to him, but you definitely 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:32.880 what you sew. So eventually his bad deeds caught up 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:34.720 with him in another space and place. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.679 Well, I mean, I know, not everyone has to endure 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.080 what you had to endure on that level. But I think, 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.640 I mean, don't feel bad obviously, I think the best 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.120 of us can get scammed by people who sound like 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.280 too good to be true. So at least he got 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:51.200 his come up. And how many years later has it been? 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:51.640 Ten years? 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:54.920 I know? Is that crazy? Yep? Ten years later? So yeah, 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:55.680 a belch. 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:58.120 But the lesson and all of that, honestly, like you 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.000 guys are always asking us questions and stuff like that, 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.280 and that's good. The lesson is to you know, not 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:06.080 take one person's word for anything. Is to do your 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:09.360 own research, you know, like a wealthy investor is an 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.119 educated investor, like, you know, do your own due diligence. 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:16.079 You know that, And there's no shortcut to growing wealth, 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.160 like you have to participate actively in it. 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.559 Yes, and ask your friends for advice, even if it's 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.760 not what you want to hear, because. 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.559 My friends would have been like, are you kidding? Yeah? Yeah. 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:31.000 So another disturbing news, did you see Jesse Smollett from 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:36.000 Empire got attacked apparently by two white men in a 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:40.600 subway like the restaurant what late at night in Chicago 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:43.280 of all places, like they were wearing they were allegedly 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:47.520 wearing make America Great Again hats and tied a rope 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.800 around his neck like a noose and beat him up 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.360 and poured bleach on him. And I'm like, were they 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.520 following him? Why did they just happen to walk into 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:59.199 a subway restaurant at two am with a lot of 0:11:59.240 --> 0:11:59.920 lebleach in a row? 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.320 Like what? So? Details? 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:05.160 Yeah, I'm sure more details will come out, but if 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.560 it's if it's all true, it's really really disturbing. There's 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:10.240 a picture of him and he looks really bad, like 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.080 his face is all swollen and stuff, and that's just 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.760 I mean, that's what that is the danger of all this, 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.800 Like you know, everyone asks, everyone thought that, you know, 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.560 Trump was so innocuous and just a side show, like 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:26.840 a publicity slide side show or you know, harmless, but 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.520 he really gave he really gave credence to the type 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.080 of behaviors and hate speech that we're seeing now, and 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.280 he kind of gave them permission, like these people permission 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:39.520 to be more forthcoming with their beliefs and to really 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.320 act on them, you know, because they probably see what 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:45.199 happened in places like Charlottesville, where he where our own 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.600 president didn't want to denounce you know, white supremacy and 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.280 the white supremacists who were, you know, at the forefront 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:53.360 of that and probably think that they can get away 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:55.800 with it now, like in the country that we're in now. 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:59.520 And that's what's like truly disturbing about something like this 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.080 happening twenty eighteen in Chicago. You wouldn't think that would 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.280 happen in Chicago. Yeah, I just wow, nineteen Sorry, I'm like, 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:07.000 what year is it? 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.120 Yeah? Wow, wow, wow, wow wow. 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.480 I don't even know what to say. That's insane. I 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.559 just can't even I just pray that he's going to 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.680 be okay. 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.800 Me too. I mean, I think I recently saw this play. 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:25.760 There's a new of course I did. I'm getting back 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.760 into my Broadway groove. But there's a new show a 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:33.080 new music hall called Choir Boy, which is about a 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.439 teenager a black So it's about an all black or 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:40.160 a majority black prep school for boys, and about a 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.800 graduating senior in the school who's in the choir and 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:47.400 he's gay, not openly gay, but he's himself and he 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.880 definitely presents as gay but hasn't come out and said it. 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.800 And it's kind of about how his other classmates interact 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:57.080 with him being openly but not openly gay, and I 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.080 thought it was such a beautiful show. And I saw 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:00.319 it with a good friend of mine and who I 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.120 won't call out, but it's a good friend of mine 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.840 who grew up in the South, just like me, being black, 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.480 and then you know, had to sort of discover his 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.720 sexuality over the years. And there's it's already hard enough 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.160 to be black, and then you throw in also being 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.160 gay on top of that, and the stigmas and the 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.760 stereotypes and you know what you have to endure not 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.680 just from just the general like homophobia that exists, but 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.000 also within the black community on top of that. It's 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.400 really hard. So like, on the one hand, I was 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.480 celebrating that play as, oh, this is a really you know, 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.120 this is the kind of musical I don't think could 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.360 have been made ten years ago. And look at the 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.520 time we're living in and you know, all happy with 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.600 my friend, and then for something like this to happen, 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:44.120 it's just sort of like, oh, okay, it's still it's 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:48.160 still not like you know, there's good with bad for 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:49.240 people in that situation. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:56.280 Yeah, it's just so much like, oh, you know, from yeah, 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.680 I just there's just so much. He didn't just feel 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.800 like I just can't like from R Kelly, you know 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:03.680 that you heard that Sundance and there's this like a 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:07.560 new movie about Michael Jackson kind of like yeah, and honestly, 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.520 I'm not Drina, y'all know, like my best friend but 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:12.280 also my puplicists at sun Dancing. 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:18.040 She was like the screening was like legacy shattering and 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.480 like it was really bad, like. 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:25.240 Seven year olds eight year olds, you know, and just 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:26.720 pay off. I have to pay off, have to pay off, 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.480 and it's like, what is happening? 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:29.800 You know? 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.680 Where there's smoke, there's fire, Yeah. 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:35.400 And it's justially continue to smoke over and over and over, 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.160 you know, Like I know people don't want to hear it, 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.440 they want to see it. It's just so much and 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:43.480 you're just like, what in the heck kind of world? 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:43.760 You know? 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.160 That's why when people used to say, you know, back 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:50.880 back in the day, but when when President Obama was 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.560 elected there's no more racism. I was like every black 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:57.240 bron person I know was like, what someone just called 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:58.080 me the M word yesterday? 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.840 What are you talking about? Just because people. 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:03.000 Are not overt with it, But now I feel like 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:05.800 so much stuff is coming to the light. Some people 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:10.400 are flaunting, they're they're just foolishness, and some people it's 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.240 just coming to the light because people finally are sharing 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:17.360 their stories of abuse, and it's like, oh, what is 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.440 everyone terrible? You know, when you look at the people, 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:21.880 you know, you're like, well, my husband's not terrible. 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.800 I hope. I mean, I don't think, you know, and. 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.960 I know, you know, you just I just feel like 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:32.040 I'm questioning everything. I mean, I don't question, but it's 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.160 just that there's just so much happening, Just like, how 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:37.200 do you process all of this dismantling of all that 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:38.040 you know, you know. 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.960 I think just talking about it honestly and not ignoring 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.960 it anymore and having they're really uncomfortable conversations, and I 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:45.560 feel like we've all been forced to have them over 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:47.840 the past, you know, a couple of years, and especially 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:50.360 with the Me Too movement and looking at what happened 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.720 with R. Kelly, Yeah, and whatever happens with Michael Jackson 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.920 and even you know, what happened with Kevin Hart and 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:59.040 the oscars, Like everybody is just on a high alert 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.760 and the and You're right, like, the more people talk 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:04.680 about it, the more we may have to look back 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:08.200 and face uncomfortable truths like Bill Cosby, that whole thing happening. 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:09.600 I think just. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:13.280 Talking through it and also giving yourself the like no 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.440 one has the answer, and I think, you know, there's 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.640 no black and white with people. You can have people 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.080 who do good things and then do really terrible things. 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:21.879 You know. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.320 I know there was an interview with Harvey Weinstein's wife, 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.280 you know, where she's talking about a great father he is. 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:28.960 I believe that he probably was a great father, but 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.200 also a sexual predator. Yeah, and that's where it's really 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:33.959 And if you if you haven't had someone in your 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:37.480 life who's really been you know, been one thing to 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:40.000 you that's very positive, and then to hear you know, 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.560 it's like when you I'm sure in every everyone's lives, 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.080 you've heard about a relative that you loved and like 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.640 you hear bad things about them after they passed away 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.480 at the funeral or something like that. You know, it's 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:54.280 maybe not to this degree, but people are, People have skeletons, 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.800 and yeah, we just have to be just I think 0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:59.680 it's it's almost good because we're kind of being taught 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.000 not to think about people critically and not to take 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.880 people like like your friend who you realized was a scammer. 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.160