Speaker 1: Yeah. Thirteen Days of Halloween, Devil's Night, a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart three D Audio Blumhouse Television and Grimm and
Speaker 1: Mild from Aaron Mackey. Headphones recommended. Listener discretion advised. Okay, Carol,
Speaker 1: I think we lost him. How where did we run?
Speaker 1: I don't know where we are. I see lights over
Speaker 1: the hill. Okay, buddy, let's go What he's that sounds
Speaker 1: like the end of the world. Well, we can't go
Speaker 1: back the other way. Come on, hey, buddy, it's a
Speaker 1: fair all right. This is the fair grounds. I think
Speaker 1: that means we're south of town opposite. Oh so Max,
Speaker 1: mirror Max. Well, I'll be Jim chimped Nex. It is you.
Speaker 1: You remember me? Dorothy? Yeah, Dorothy Dupunt. Hey, Archie, I
Speaker 1: know this kid. He does work for my pop sometimes.
Speaker 1: Pop calls and mirror Max because he gets the Lincoln
Speaker 1: so shiny you could shave in your reflection. Max. This
Speaker 1: is our cheap loor. He's my guy. Now you're doing sport. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm glad to run into you. I need Helsey just
Speaker 1: can't get good health these days with this kid. He's
Speaker 1: a regular gas piston and Archie. You wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: I heard him say the sweetest thing. It was one
Speaker 1: Saturday a few months ago. He spends all days chauvelin
Speaker 1: mud in the back acre, out in the sun. It's
Speaker 1: hot as helen out there. At quitting time. Here comes
Speaker 1: our made Clara to offer him some cold roast be
Speaker 1: for supper, and he says, no thanks. My mom's making
Speaker 1: navy being soup tonight, and it'll sure hurt her feelings
Speaker 1: if I don't come home hungry. What the hell's a navy?
Speaker 1: Isn't that the most darling thing you ever heard? Easy
Speaker 1: on the sugar doll, you're gonna run away with this
Speaker 1: piste ripple, Archie, don't be coarse. I'm just playing Dorothy.
Speaker 1: I need help, ye my dogging me. We're stuck on
Speaker 1: the wrong side of town and I don't have a
Speaker 1: way to get home. Oh well, archiese, Papa sending a
Speaker 1: car to pick us up later. I suppose we could
Speaker 1: give you a ride. Really well, golly, I mean we could,
Speaker 1: but don't beat around the bush doll. Look, we could
Speaker 1: give you a ride, but we're in a jam too,
Speaker 1: So how about you do us a favorite first? What
Speaker 1: is it? Well, earlier tonight I lost something something real important. See,
Speaker 1: I borrowed a tennis bracelet from Archiese mother, robably worth
Speaker 1: more than your house diamonds out the don't be course.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be just for tonight, but she
Speaker 1: doesn't know I took it. That bracelet means everything to her,
Speaker 1: and I lost it in there at the fair Do
Speaker 1: you think you could go in and find it for us?
Speaker 1: Why can't you go back yourself? Oh, I'll tell you why,
Speaker 1: tight ass brother, fucking Carnie trash Archie. See, Archie caused
Speaker 1: a bit of a stir inside and we got thrown out.
Speaker 1: Jake leg imbeciles French. Hold on, Archie. We were in
Speaker 1: Quiet Cows. Have you been there? No, it's a check
Speaker 1: full of rotten mummies and pickled whale job. It's called
Speaker 1: Quiet Cow's House of Wonders. It's on the far side
Speaker 1: of the fairgrounds, sort of a cookie museum stuff from
Speaker 1: all heck knows where it belongs to this weird old
Speaker 1: woman who calls herself Quiet Cow, nasty old bet out
Speaker 1: of her mind. So we were inside looking at the
Speaker 1: mummies and whatnots, and Archie pipes up, say what's behind
Speaker 1: the secret door? Yeah, you gotta wonder big door just
Speaker 1: says keep out. My friend Frankie says he heard old
Speaker 1: quiet cow runs a gin bar on the sly back there,
Speaker 1: cold booze fan dancers with ditties out to hear. Well,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, she wouldn't open it up for us,
Speaker 1: and Archie lost as town. I said, after everything my
Speaker 1: pops does for this town, you're gonna treat me like smut.
Speaker 1: Keep me out of your ditty joint. How about I
Speaker 1: give it back to you? How would I smash your
Speaker 1: dirty fucking mummies? You had too much to drink, doll face,
Speaker 1: I'm just getting started. Well, I went, Frankie and Bertram
Speaker 1: get here. We ought to go back and burn the
Speaker 1: whole damn. Anyway, Archie made a terrible mess and they
Speaker 1: chased us out into the woods. But then I noticed
Speaker 1: the bracelet was gone. It must have fallen off inside cows.
Speaker 1: If you can find it in there, it would mean
Speaker 1: the world to me. And of course we'd give you
Speaker 1: a ride home. Here, take my ticket, you can get
Speaker 1: in with that. Well, you really are a sweetheart, See
Speaker 1: you soon. Okay, buddy, just got to find this place.
Speaker 1: I think it's this way to come free. Nick West,
Speaker 1: the whims and tips, the store, blood run, hot up,
Speaker 1: stick plunge. Are you a regular matter? A bag of
Speaker 1: wax limps? The old way to know it's as say
Speaker 1: they're cool. Why not give it a goal at the
Speaker 1: knife toss sink the blade and the yellow cork in
Speaker 1: the prize. The only way to lose is to walk away. Sorry,
Speaker 1: Mr I'm in a hurry, so you're in the wrong
Speaker 1: place from her wrong fil bashable Welcome, Welcome to Quiet
Speaker 1: Kyle's House of Wonders, home of the world renowned Hall
Speaker 1: of Mummyosity. I am your hostess. That is my name
Speaker 1: in the marquis. Ladies and gentlemen. We had a bit
Speaker 1: of a bug tustle earlier this evening, and we are
Speaker 1: getting everything cleaned up as I speak. The tour will
Speaker 1: begin in just a moment, and in the meantime, Delbert,
Speaker 1: you may commence with that horrible instrument if you must
Speaker 1: blee madam now has my galic assistant attempts to torture
Speaker 1: melody from that satanic contraption. I would be happy to
Speaker 1: answer any questions you have. Hey, I heard you had
Speaker 1: a two from a man eating tree in there. True,
Speaker 1: you will see it with your own eyes. Yeah, standing barrack.
Speaker 1: Now to that one, I say cock and bull. Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, The tea in my total is a capital one,
Speaker 1: I assure you. And the only spirits with which I
Speaker 1: associate are those who reach out through the venerable right sales. Well,
Speaker 1: there it is, ladies and gentlemen. If you haven't a
Speaker 1: ticket yet, you may purchase over yonder if you have
Speaker 1: one in hand, right this way, Come tell there see
Speaker 1: here the gunpowder God. Many years ago my late husband
Speaker 1: and I were crossing the plateaus of the Great Altai
Speaker 1: when we came upon a tribe of ox herds, after
Speaker 1: trading for a few bubbles and a kind of sardines,
Speaker 1: said they would take us to see their god in
Speaker 1: the flesh. And what do you know, but when we
Speaker 1: came to it, this idol was no less than an
Speaker 1: unblasted howitzer shell, dressed in garlands of lilac. And the people,
Speaker 1: one by one pressed their lips upon it like it
Speaker 1: was the pissine ring of the pope. This is their god?
Speaker 1: How did that happen? Here? That is a secret of
Speaker 1: the trade. What's this? That is my taxidermy of the
Speaker 1: dreaditor at bear of Patagonia. The beast never grows larger
Speaker 1: than a pumpkin. Yet a single one of these rodents
Speaker 1: could eat a man hole, though often enough they will
Speaker 1: settle for biting off the exposed genitals of one who
Speaker 1: steps away from the group to make water while on
Speaker 1: a hunt. Looks like a stuffed rabbit. Yeah, with assholes,
Speaker 1: fry laugh. Are you like the Philistines? We will take
Speaker 1: your money all the same. Now onto the Hall of Mummiosity. This,
Speaker 1: I believe, I can say with confidence, is the largest
Speaker 1: private collection of mummies on Earth. We have long mummies,
Speaker 1: shot mummies, old mummies, young mummies, Linen's age to find
Speaker 1: hues of emmy, slate and rose, noble mummies, humble mummies,
Speaker 1: kings eternal and children of the past. My late husband
Speaker 1: than I spent the better part of our lives collecting
Speaker 1: these beautiful specimens from every corner of the globe. We
Speaker 1: have not only the refined, stately mummies of Egypt, but
Speaker 1: the creatures of the Jutland bog, curled and cured in
Speaker 1: blankets of Pete, the gorgeous desiccated guardians of the scrubland,
Speaker 1: and the Plane. Our mummies come from every continent, every
Speaker 1: corner of the map. Admire their elegance at your leisure,
Speaker 1: but I must stress, do not touch it was behind
Speaker 1: this door. Stop that now, ship, this is the secret
Speaker 1: room you got that booze all back here? Don't you
Speaker 1: out out dull there? Hey, you can't expect that. Apologies
Speaker 1: for the scene, ladies and gentlemen's hum Fools cannot be
Speaker 1: saved even by education. Enjoy the exhibits. Excuse me, ma'am,
Speaker 1: And who are you? My name is Max. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to bother you, but I'm looking for something. A friend
Speaker 1: of mine lost his special Barrie slet in here, and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help her find it. I looked all
Speaker 1: over the floor already. Do you have Boston found? Young man?
Speaker 1: This house, in its full is a lost and found.
Speaker 1: Oh but in the sense you mean, yes, I do, Darbert,
Speaker 1: step into my office. This boy here is in search
Speaker 1: of concert. You will have to excuse the mass. We
Speaker 1: suffered a frightful act of vandalism this evening. In a
Speaker 1: hurry to clean up. I fear that every single thing
Speaker 1: has been mislaid. Dalbert the Lost and Found. One moment,
Speaker 1: madame name, can I ask? Why are you called quiet? Cow? Well?
Speaker 1: Now that is on account of my contract with the
Speaker 1: Power Almighty. You see, one foul, foggy morning many years ago,
Speaker 1: my late husband Brad and I were chopping and whacking
Speaker 1: our way through the jungles of French into China, on
Speaker 1: the trail of a local sorcerer whom we had been
Speaker 1: led to believe possessed the bones of a winged gremlins or.
Speaker 1: And it was on that track that the Lord himself
Speaker 1: intervened to save me from certain death in a pitfall
Speaker 1: tiger trap. Hearing his stern voice call out, I hesitated
Speaker 1: to lay my foot on the forest floor. And I
Speaker 1: tell you, if I had taken one more step, I
Speaker 1: would have tumbled to a perforated and skewered like a
Speaker 1: sausage on stakes of bamboo. As was my poor husband,
Speaker 1: Oh clever he was, and handsome and dextrous. But since
Speaker 1: the Almighty saw fit to withhold me from such a
Speaker 1: piercing ingratitude, I undertook a vow of silence that I
Speaker 1: honor to this day. Does that mean you don't talk
Speaker 1: correct like you're talking right now, dear boy, This is
Speaker 1: not talk, this is discourse. I also keep a vow
Speaker 1: of chastity m by God, Albert, what is taking so long?
Speaker 1: My blood comes to a simmer as I watch you
Speaker 1: foots and fumble about. Max, my boy, behold a man
Speaker 1: so maladroit he'd need a stalking horse to approach a
Speaker 1: pot of beans. Do you hear me? Yes, madam, I
Speaker 1: believe it. It's just here somewhere. Why are you lumbering fangle?
Speaker 1: If I had any sense, I would turn your hide
Speaker 1: into a cover for the privy seat so it would
Speaker 1: not chill my haunches in the midnight hour. Are you
Speaker 1: still not finished? Ha? Ha ha? Good this yeah, that's
Speaker 1: got to be it. Give it here, Dabert. Now, Max,
Speaker 1: I'm not a fool. I know where and who this
Speaker 1: came from. I'll give you the bracelet, but in return
Speaker 1: you must give me her name. Think now, it's only justice.
Speaker 1: This girl and her rattle cap baw laid an absolutely
Speaker 1: senseless wallop on one of my most cherished mummies, the
Speaker 1: body of a holy child from the storm burned peaks
Speaker 1: of the Andes. Now, whatever you think of these withered rapplings,
Speaker 1: they are priceless to me. I travel the world to
Speaker 1: acquire them. There my life's work. You must understand when
Speaker 1: my life's work is stamped into the floorboards by a
Speaker 1: couple of soft boiled bambini on a Halloween lark. It
Speaker 1: is only fair that I would seek justice. I won't
Speaker 1: lock them in the iron maiden, though I do have
Speaker 1: one around here somewhere. I will be engaging the police,
Speaker 1: of course, there's no reason for them to find out
Speaker 1: it was you told so do we have a deal? Sorry, nam,
Speaker 1: I can't h so be it. I'm disappointed, But as
Speaker 1: much as I desire forthrightness, loyalty is a virtue with
Speaker 1: a luster of its own. Of course, this means I'll
Speaker 1: need to keep the bracelet as evidence. Now, run along
Speaker 1: and a merry Halloween to you. Are we gonna do now? Buddy? Now, folks,
Speaker 1: two passengers, Hi, your dirty cheek. That's a trick knife.
Speaker 1: I want my bunny pat. It's truth, everybody tonight down,
Speaker 1: there's no trick. Shall show you something. You're too bit buzzy.
Speaker 1: Imagine the hot breath on your skin. I imagine the
Speaker 1: claws like a drag harro ricking your neck. I fought
Speaker 1: alone is enough to send you were me running from
Speaker 1: a hill. But it's all in the day's work for
Speaker 1: Abel Riggs, the astonishing Lady Lion Tamer. Get your tickets
Speaker 1: now for the last show of the evening, featuring Maybel
Speaker 1: Riggs and the fearsome King of the Pride Happy. How
Speaker 1: does she do it? They all want to know. Will
Speaker 1: this be the night Pappy prevails? Or well Maybel and
Speaker 1: her wit proof Brital enough for the man eating beast.
Speaker 1: The only way to see for yourself is to get
Speaker 1: your ticket now. How about it? Max? Is tap been
Speaker 1: for a lion show, stay boy eat him? Who else
Speaker 1: could it be? I don't know you, Mr. I don't
Speaker 1: want to know you. I don't want anything to do
Speaker 1: with you. Max. I understand you are afraid. You are
Speaker 1: lost and far from home, with no one to trust,
Speaker 1: no when you should trust. But you can tell by
Speaker 1: now that I am not going to hurt you. Quite
Speaker 1: the opposite. A wait for me. Let me walk home
Speaker 1: with you. That is all I ask. I will make
Speaker 1: sure that you get back to your mother and father
Speaker 1: in one piece, and then I will go on my way.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? Haven't you noticed tonight? Something
Speaker 1: is just not right with the world, mainly you, Max.
Speaker 1: Come with me. Do not run, Miss Cow, Miss Cow,
Speaker 1: you again, We're closed young man. Nope, I need help.
Speaker 1: What's the matter. I don't know what's going on, But
Speaker 1: there's a a madman chasing me all over the place.
Speaker 1: I keep seeing him everywhere. He's a murderer, all right now,
Speaker 1: I just saw him outside. I can't I can't lock
Speaker 1: the door. There, Come here, my boy. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do, my dog, And you're stuck out here
Speaker 1: on a wrong side of town, and everybody's going crazy
Speaker 1: to night. He nobody even knows I'm here. Nobody knows
Speaker 1: you're here. What about your father and mother? I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be home hours ago, but he got all
Speaker 1: turned around. Do you have a telephone? I could try
Speaker 1: to call them? Of course? Of course? Do you hear
Speaker 1: this stub bear, this little mopet wayfaring on the devil's night,
Speaker 1: and not even his mother knows where to find him. Come,
Speaker 1: let us find the telephone, the secret room. The phone's
Speaker 1: in there this way. This is what everybody wanted to see.
Speaker 1: What is all this bags of cement? Hey? Wait, my dog? Oh,
Speaker 1: he'll be all right out there. We have some business
Speaker 1: in here. Max. How tall are you? What? Small for
Speaker 1: your age? I judge why? I can see in my
Speaker 1: mind I know how the brawnier boys must subject you
Speaker 1: to terrible abuse. I know how boys can be each
Speaker 1: one a minor Attila. Do they spit on you, call
Speaker 1: you a molly cuddle, and pill for the change from
Speaker 1: your pockets? How would you like to be freed of
Speaker 1: these piddling ordeals? Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Max,
Speaker 1: How would you like to become a god? Dabert, Honey,
Speaker 1: go help? Hell? No one gaves near you in my
Speaker 1: little cabbage, and no one even knows you're here. No
Speaker 1: sense in screaming yourself, elf, horse, what do you want?
Speaker 1: Look at this? Look what they did to my brittle darling.
Speaker 1: You can barely see that it was once a slender
Speaker 1: boy like yourself. Bones crushed like eggshells, desecrated by the
Speaker 1: heel of a pagan loafer. Look how they ruined him. Well,
Speaker 1: if you won't give me justice, perhaps you can be
Speaker 1: my justice, Dalbert. How long did it take for this
Speaker 1: fine creature to attain his immortality? It seemed, yes, perhaps
Speaker 1: three years to slay the demon, another three to season
Speaker 1: his linens. To tell the truth, I forget where he
Speaker 1: came from, And yet he dried so exquisitely max I
Speaker 1: admit I fib dismission earlier about where most of our
Speaker 1: mummies come from. The truth is, the world has become
Speaker 1: such a treacherous place, and travel so expensive, it hardly
Speaker 1: makes tends to scour the lands of scorpions and bandits
Speaker 1: for a dwindling supply of antiques when the sacred rights
Speaker 1: themselves are at our fingertips. But never fear, you could
Speaker 1: ask no better a guide into your transcendence than myself.
Speaker 1: It was my dear poor Shrade who invented the process,
Speaker 1: rediscovered from the arts of a more civilized eon. But
Speaker 1: I am a faithful caretaker of the way and a
Speaker 1: steady hand to boot Dalbert the rights of everlasting life.
Speaker 1: What's that? Two humble grains of ancient pedigree in equal mixture,
Speaker 1: here salt and here sand, two granular gifts from a
Speaker 1: million years of wind and tide, working upon the rocks
Speaker 1: you see before you're clothed in the linens of heaven.
Speaker 1: You must be purchased as the great enemy of immortality,
Speaker 1: the demon, the demon of moisture. These grains will slay
Speaker 1: the demon and become your holy protectors. Except I must
Speaker 1: warn you of what may be a source of momentary discomfort,
Speaker 1: which bullsh rotten I discovered long ago. It really only
Speaker 1: works from the inside out. Now open your mouth, my boy,
Speaker 1: and you're a sacred journey begin. What's this? Who's there?
Speaker 1: Surprise your old bet? I told you I'll be back
Speaker 1: with my pals, Archie. It's me that rum having boys
Speaker 1: burn it all, burn all this, CARNI tread no, no, no,
Speaker 1: mindless physicot stop Albert, stop them, I get your gun.
Speaker 1: Where do you think you're going? Gold me, lady, Such disloyalty,
Speaker 1: such vicious contempt to tuck tail and run, for God's sake,
Speaker 1: show some dignity. Boy, you are to be one of
Speaker 1: the gods now. And if they burn you burn, let
Speaker 1: go of the boy. What by what right do you think? Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh my word, I'll look at you now, look you
Speaker 1: observe my luck to meet you only at the moment
Speaker 1: my museum is burning. Oh dear, I want you behind glass.
Speaker 1: What a clap of thunder you are? What a shocking angel? No,
Speaker 1: ma'am not an angel, but he's the die you swim.
Speaker 1: Tick your hands off of me. No, Max, run is
Speaker 1: for you, fariful extraordinary errow arrow, Hey Gerry Ward Buddy Gold.
Speaker 1: We're going to get out of here. The train, that's it.
Speaker 1: We'll have to hop it. Come on Colon Faster Boy,
Speaker 1: Thirteen Days of Halloween Devil's Night, starring Carter Rockwood and
Speaker 1: Clancy Brown. Episode three, The fair Grounds written by Joe McCormick,
Speaker 1: featuring the voices of Olivia Castineau, Vinnie balbo Ive, Gordon,
Speaker 1: Nicolas Takowski, Raphael Corkill, Gina Rikiki, and Jeffrey Kennedy. Edited
Speaker 1: by Zosha, Sound designed by Josh Thane, directed by Alexander Williams.
Speaker 1: Script supervision by Nicolas Takowski. Casting by Sunday Bowling c
Speaker 1: s A and Meg Mormon c s A. Production coordinator
Speaker 1: Wayna Calderon. Production assistants Zoe Shay and Amber Ferris. Animal
Speaker 1: recording by Ben James, closing theme by Rose Azerti. Loyalty
Speaker 1: Freak Music dot Com recorded at d G Entertainment in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, California. Engineered by Gary Forbes and Jody Abbott.
Speaker 1: Additional recording by SoundBite Inc. In Atlanta, Georgia. Engineered by
Speaker 1: Chase Nixon, studio manager Kathy Roberts. Executive producers Aaron Mankey,
Speaker 1: Noah Feinberg, Chris Dicky, Matt Frederick and Alexander Williams. Supervising
Speaker 1: producers Trevor Young and Josh Than, producers Jesse Funk and
Speaker 1: rima Il Kali. Thirteen Days of Halloween was created by
Speaker 1: Matt Frederick and Alexander Williams and is a production of
Speaker 1: iHeart three D Audio, Blumhouse Television, and Grim and Mild
Speaker 1: from Aaron Mankey. Learn more about the show at Grim
Speaker 1: and Mild dot com, slash thirteen Days and find more
Speaker 1: podcasts from I heart Radio by visiting the i Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows. Two