Speaker 1: In the book, we say you're not behind, You're becoming.
Speaker 1: And I just love that sentiment and that phrase, because
Speaker 1: for so long I felt like I was behind. I
Speaker 1: wasn't married at the right time, I wasn't with kids
Speaker 1: at the right time, I wasn't making this amount of money,
Speaker 1: and I just had to go through everything I went
Speaker 1: through to become the woman I am today, which is
Speaker 1: a woman that I love and that I'm so proud
Speaker 1: to be. And so for anyone listening, just remembering that that,
Speaker 1: like every day, you're becoming.
Speaker 2: Today. We have the incredible Krista Williams and Lindsay Simmek.
Speaker 2: They are the co hosts of the Almost thirty podcast
Speaker 2: and now authors of their first book, Almost thirty, A
Speaker 2: Definitive Guide to a life you love for the next
Speaker 2: decade and beyond. They started out as two best friends
Speaker 2: recording their conversations sitting in their closet, and now nine
Speaker 2: years later, they've built a global community the whole space
Speaker 2: for everything from spiritual growth to career pivots and everything
Speaker 2: in between. I haven't anyone to talk about astrology on this,
Speaker 2: so let's go what is that in return?
Speaker 3: And we're not experts, but when we learned this.
Speaker 4: It was a complete unlocked It's a season of life
Speaker 4: that we were in, or for.
Speaker 1: Most people, their living life before that time just kind
Speaker 1: of programmed with what society tells them to do, what
Speaker 1: their parents want them to be, and they're living a
Speaker 1: life that may not be aligned to their soul but
Speaker 1: to external things.
Speaker 4: This period of your life is actually it feels like
Speaker 4: it's crumbling, but it is truly coming together for you.
Speaker 4: This is really an opportunity to get in right relationship
Speaker 4: with change, because you're going to change throughout your whole life.
Speaker 2: We only need like magic in our life. I feel
Speaker 2: like everything is so practical, so logical, so theoretical. Everyone's
Speaker 2: like one thing to another, and then you think, but
Speaker 2: where's the magic in life? I'm radi WKA and on
Speaker 2: my podcast a really good Cry. We embrace the messy
Speaker 2: and the beautiful, providing a space for raw, unfielded conversations
Speaker 2: that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn,
Speaker 2: connect and find comfort together. Yes, thank you so much
Speaker 2: for being here. I am so happy to have you
Speaker 2: both here. I feel like I've known you for I
Speaker 2: don't know how many years. How many years has it
Speaker 2: been since we first met.
Speaker 3: Oh, I think you yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2: It's been four years and I was in LA at
Speaker 2: the time. Yes, and you were one of the first
Speaker 2: podcasts that I actually came on. And you were both
Speaker 2: so gracious, so loving, so kind, and I felt such
Speaker 2: a great energy connection when we first met. So this
Speaker 2: is so exciting for me.
Speaker 3: It also feels so special.
Speaker 1: And I remember you were one of those people, same
Speaker 1: with Jay, that you meet in person and you're like
Speaker 1: just in awe that you are everything and more that
Speaker 1: people see. And I'll also never forget when you did
Speaker 1: camp for us, so we have a virtual event camp
Speaker 1: that you did and you were telling us. You're like,
Speaker 1: I'm so nervous. I'm like, how is she? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: always tell us it was literally the sweetest, most endearing love.
Speaker 3: I was like, she's even amazing when she's nervous. I'm like,
Speaker 3: what is going on?
Speaker 1: It was just such a It was such a thing.
Speaker 1: So it's been so beautiful to know you and see you,
Speaker 1: and we're very grateful to be here.
Speaker 2: You guys definitely help with my confidence, you know, coming
Speaker 2: on the show and then doing that, I felt like
Speaker 2: it boosted my confidence. The more I was doing something.
Speaker 2: So thank you guys for trusting me and having me on.
Speaker 2: I stop by asking because you both started recording your
Speaker 2: podcast in a closet, which I had no idea about,
Speaker 2: and now it's a top fifty podcast, which is absolutely insane.
Speaker 2: What was some of the pivotal moments that really helped
Speaker 2: to define where you are now? Like, tell me some
Speaker 2: of the moments through that journey.
Speaker 1: Lindsay and I started on our closet floors. Yes, so
Speaker 1: you can start anything at any place. We had no
Speaker 1: intention of almost thirty becoming anything.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I was in the corporate world. I was really struggling
Speaker 1: in my career and job. I wasn't happy, I didn't
Speaker 1: feel aligned or on purpose. And when we met each other,
Speaker 1: we were just having these really deep, meaningful conversations that
Speaker 1: felt exciting, that felt truthful, that felt authentic, and I
Speaker 1: feel like the way that I was living, I wasn't
Speaker 1: having that with anyone else, and so we were like,
Speaker 1: let's start a podcast, we guess and do it on
Speaker 1: our closet floors. It was twenty sixteen, so things weren't
Speaker 1: really happening then, But over the years, I think some
Speaker 1: of the pivotal moments for us of building Almost thirty
Speaker 1: and stepping out into our purpose of doing the podcast.
Speaker 3: I would say quitting my full.
Speaker 1: Time job, quitting our full time jobs was huge because
Speaker 1: we built Almost thirty as like a side hustle. You know,
Speaker 1: I was so you guys can hear the desperation. I
Speaker 1: was so desperate to get out of the corporate world
Speaker 1: that I really wanted it to work. And so that
Speaker 1: moment where I could put in my two weeks because
Speaker 1: we had built the business for two years, we had
Speaker 1: learned to monetize it, We learned to hire a team
Speaker 1: and go on tour and do all these things that
Speaker 1: I never dreamed of doing, felt really really special and
Speaker 1: I just felt so proud that we were able to
Speaker 1: monetize our gifts and monetize our service. So for me,
Speaker 1: for sure, quitting my full time job, I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: this is it.
Speaker 4: And then we were able to like really lean in
Speaker 4: one hundred percent, which I think really accelerated what we
Speaker 4: were doing. And I think the other differentiator in our
Speaker 4: growth was just creating community. I think when you host
Speaker 4: a podcast, it is it is really easy to be
Speaker 4: behind the mic and kind of have this really intimate
Speaker 4: feel and that is so special and I think people
Speaker 4: feel that. But we decided to really get out there
Speaker 4: in real life very early on. I remember in the
Speaker 4: early days, we hosted a soul cycle class for all of.
Speaker 3: Our listeners, thirty of them.
Speaker 4: It was sixty they showed up. But then, you know,
Speaker 4: two years in also we went on tour. No one
Speaker 4: asked us to go on tour, but we were like,
Speaker 4: we want.
Speaker 3: To meet everyone. Yeah, so we literally toured the world.
Speaker 4: We went to Sydney, Australia, we went to London, we
Speaker 4: went all over the US. It was incredible and I
Speaker 4: think that really it was different at the time. You know,
Speaker 4: people weren't going on tour for podcasting. They weren't meeting
Speaker 4: their listeners in person necessarily, and so I really feel
Speaker 4: like that boots on the ground, you know energy where
Speaker 4: people are like, oh wow, I met people in their community,
Speaker 4: I met them, I love listening to the show. It
Speaker 4: just it made it three D I think for people.
Speaker 4: So I think that was a huge part of our
Speaker 4: growth in the beginning too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'll just say last thing on this, I'll
Speaker 1: never forget. We were in Sydney for tour and there
Speaker 1: was a woman there that had a really rare brain
Speaker 1: cancer and she was telling her story to our community,
Speaker 1: and then there was another woman there that had something
Speaker 1: similar and just it really showed the power of connection
Speaker 1: and vulnerability and being in person. And We've had so
Speaker 1: many moments like that over the years where it doesn't
Speaker 1: really involve us per se, but it involves the space
Speaker 1: we created to allow women to show up. And those
Speaker 1: kind of moments of people connecting and authenticity and truth
Speaker 1: and finding healing together have been like the best.
Speaker 2: And how many years has it been now that you've
Speaker 2: been doing this together?
Speaker 3: Nine years?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so from when you started to now, what has
Speaker 2: changed for you both? Like in terms of one the
Speaker 2: way that you see the service that you have, has
Speaker 2: it changed it all? And two working together to work
Speaker 2: together with someone that you consider a close friend or
Speaker 2: a best friend and to navigate that and for you
Speaker 2: to be successful for nine years, because I've had stories
Speaker 2: of people trying to do that. How has that been
Speaker 2: and how did you make it through? That would have
Speaker 2: been some of the challenges.
Speaker 1: Yeah, think the number one reason why businesses fail is
Speaker 1: because entrepreneurs or co founders don't work. So it's actually
Speaker 1: like statistically proven that most entrepreneurs and co founders don't work,
Speaker 1: so especially as women, it can be hard to maintain
Speaker 1: long term friendships. I'd love to hear you know your
Speaker 1: friendship view right now, But I'm someone that struggled with
Speaker 1: female friendships my whole life. Like I'm just a very
Speaker 1: deep feeler and I probably was a toxic one. I
Speaker 1: was probably with toxic people, you know, kind of did
Speaker 1: that dance the whole time.
Speaker 3: But meeting Lindsay and having a.
Speaker 1: Greater purpose that we were serving through almost thirty really
Speaker 1: helped us to prioritize like what we were doing and
Speaker 1: who we were. So over the years of building the business,
Speaker 1: we've changed completely. Like I started, I was in a
Speaker 1: long term relationship that turned marriage. You were single. Now
Speaker 1: she's married with a baby. I'm single on the street.
Speaker 1: So we've changed a lot. But what I think has
Speaker 1: made our relationship so strong is having values, having similar values,
Speaker 1: and then doing things like clearing conversations, you know, which
Speaker 1: Lindsay's so powerful to speak to, But we always make
Speaker 1: sure that we're going to show up authentically and truthfully
Speaker 1: and make sure we prioritize the right thing, which is
Speaker 1: our relationship.
Speaker 3: Over the business. Yeah, those clearing conversations.
Speaker 4: I'll just break down for a hot second, because I
Speaker 4: think any friendship, any business partnership, any marriage can benefit
Speaker 4: from them. A clearing conversation, the intention is just a
Speaker 4: clear distortion in your relationship field. And we all know
Speaker 4: what that feels like. You know, it's a just a
Speaker 4: you know that not in your stomach, and it's that
Speaker 4: psychic sense that a lot is being said but not
Speaker 4: actually being said out loud. And the clearing conversation is really,
Speaker 4: you know, an intentional meeting between two people where you
Speaker 4: can come with truth, honesty, respect and love and be
Speaker 4: a really great listener and a really great communicator. And
Speaker 4: Kristin and I often do these on walks. You know,
Speaker 4: it's proven that, you know, moving your body while you're
Speaker 4: having a conversation actually allows you to speak more of
Speaker 4: your truth and also staring ahead and not I to eye.
Speaker 4: It's a very primal thing to be eye to eye
Speaker 4: with someone and feel like you're in fight or flight
Speaker 4: if it is a hard conversation. And so that really
Speaker 4: helps the body to relax, the minds relax, and you know,
Speaker 4: our intention when we do these things is just to
Speaker 4: be really honest and we know that coming into it, Yes,
Speaker 4: you know, so it's not it's like I know that
Speaker 4: Christa is coming with her heart leading rather than you know,
Speaker 4: her dumping just a ton of stuff in my lap
Speaker 4: and blaming me. We use a lot of eye statements
Speaker 4: that it could sound like, you know, the story I've
Speaker 4: been telling myself is that you know, I'm not valuable
Speaker 4: in this partnership, and I just feel like I'm I'm
Speaker 4: kind of not helping you. I feel like you're round
Speaker 4: of doing the most, which is the story I've told
Speaker 4: myself before. And then we're able to take responsibility and
Speaker 4: then also hear their own story, so they're just the best.
Speaker 3: Because you leave.
Speaker 4: Feeling heard, you leave feeling just lighter, you know. And
Speaker 4: this is normal in relationship for the fuel to get
Speaker 4: a little fuzzy, for the ebb and flow. It's not
Speaker 4: always going to be perfect, but if you allow for
Speaker 4: that and make room to clear, your relationships are going
Speaker 4: to be ten times healthier.
Speaker 2: I love that so much. I feel like growing up
Speaker 2: in well one, I was thinking about clearing conversation I
Speaker 2: need to have with someone.
Speaker 3: Else, like story of my crying, I mean, like.
Speaker 2: Thinking about doing it for a while, and it just
Speaker 2: keeps getting put off, keeps getting put off. But it
Speaker 2: was something where I was like, I'm just going to
Speaker 2: leave it. It doesn't need to be said. But then it's
Speaker 2: like stopping me from seeing the person. It's stopping me
Speaker 2: from actually having a relationship with them, because there's you know,
Speaker 2: it's almost like it may not be a physical barrier,
Speaker 2: but it might as well be, because it becomes like that,
Speaker 2: doesn't it. The longer you leave something, the bigger it gets,
Speaker 2: and it calcifies and it's harder to work your way
Speaker 2: through it. But I also think I was thinking about
Speaker 2: my family, and you know, many families have had I
Speaker 2: don't know a family that hasn't. We've had so many
Speaker 2: ups and downs to our extended family, and I would
Speaker 2: always say, why can't we all just sit together and
Speaker 2: talk about it? And everyone thinks that's the more complicated option,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, how is that the more complicated option?
Speaker 2: This is the more complicated option.
Speaker 1: It's sitting in the suffering of this, just the looping,
Speaker 1: you know, of the stories, the conversation, and it is
Speaker 1: it's like getting up the courage to say the thing,
Speaker 1: and then once it's over, you're.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm free, I'm liberated. Like it feels so much better, and.
Speaker 2: It's so beautiful that you both both work in the
Speaker 2: same way. Your mind and heart are working in the
Speaker 2: same way, where you actually, you know, sometimes we jeopardize
Speaker 2: ourselves or we are self sabotage by not having those conversations. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because it allows us to be the victim. And you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be the victim. This makes me feel
Speaker 2: so much better. That person must be wrong and therefore,
Speaker 2: in some way, we make ourselves feel superior, whereas when
Speaker 2: you end up clearing, you're both on a level playing field.
Speaker 2: How beautiful that you've been able to do that for
Speaker 2: nine years. You guys should be so proud of yourself
Speaker 2: with that.
Speaker 3: We can work. Though we can work. Oh, I remember
Speaker 3: the very first one that I had.
Speaker 1: It was like it was like probably a year in
Speaker 1: and it had built up so much and I was like,
Speaker 1: this isn't.
Speaker 3: Working, you know.
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, it was like messy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this isn't working. And I was probably only doing you
Speaker 1: statements and I was probably so unregulated and it was
Speaker 1: just a mess. But like we committed to growth and
Speaker 1: coming back towards one another, and also therapy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like they so hopeful. Lindsay went to
Speaker 3: therapy first. I was like, oh, I can't. I don't
Speaker 3: trust anybody. I'm not going to Thank god you led
Speaker 3: the way.
Speaker 1: But therapy also helps so that we can kind of
Speaker 1: process the messiness of it all and kind of get
Speaker 1: clear with that, so that anything that would be hurtful
Speaker 1: that we would potentially say to one another, we're kind
Speaker 1: of clearing with our therapist. So it's like there is
Speaker 1: availability and room for messy. There is availability in room
Speaker 1: to you know, not be perfectly polished and posed every
Speaker 1: time you speak, and therapy allows you to do that,
Speaker 1: so I can come to her as loving as possible.
Speaker 1: My therapist will also be like, hm, this seems like
Speaker 1: a pattern that you're in, or this seems like you
Speaker 1: know something's going on.
Speaker 2: It's also unrealistic to think that any relationship wouldn't have
Speaker 2: those problems, wouldn't have some sort of resistance. It's just
Speaker 2: whether it's the things that we experience outside of those
Speaker 2: relationships that end up seeping into them, or whether it's
Speaker 2: the conversations or lack of understanding of tone, or you know,
Speaker 2: I think tone plays such a big part if you
Speaker 2: haven't If you may say something in one way, the
Speaker 2: person receives it in another way. And so I just
Speaker 2: I love that. I think clearing conversations need to be
Speaker 2: done with everyone.
Speaker 4: And you're like.
Speaker 3: Talking to yourself. Yes, I'm gonna text you to be like, girl,
Speaker 3: did you do that? Clear?
Speaker 2: Has your definition of success changed from when you started
Speaker 2: or would you say it stayed the same? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think that's something we're still kind
Speaker 4: of redefining as we go along these nine years. I
Speaker 4: think for me in the beginning, success was very very
Speaker 4: goal oriented, rather than really defining success as enjoyment and
Speaker 4: presence in the process. I think when you're starting a
Speaker 4: creative project, you know, especially a podcast, a lot of
Speaker 4: things can roll in, like the expectations of downloads, numbers,
Speaker 4: who's listening, who's not, what guests do we have on
Speaker 4: the show. Just lots of metrics that can distort the
Speaker 4: true feeling of success. And I've had to go that
Speaker 4: far and kind of get overwhelmed by that and then
Speaker 4: come back more recently, like we wrote our book and
Speaker 4: the other day I was just like, girl, you wrote
Speaker 4: a book that is that is the successful part of
Speaker 4: this process what happens after? You know, I want it
Speaker 4: to be in as many hands as possible. I want
Speaker 4: people to be impacted all over the world. But that
Speaker 4: is not a metric that is a part of my
Speaker 4: true success around this book. So I've just got had
Speaker 4: to get clear every step of the way because we're human,
Speaker 4: you know, Like I'll let those things kind of seep in.
Speaker 4: But I've really become obsessed with am I enjoying the process?
Speaker 4: Am I myself in this process? And am I present here?
Speaker 4: I don't want to look back and be like wow,
Speaker 4: like I didn't really enjoy creating this because I was
Speaker 4: so wrapped up in well, like what do people want
Speaker 4: from me, and just kind of like pulling out strings
Speaker 4: that I could be using to really create something great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this one is one of my struggles in life.
Speaker 1: You know. I think for me, success has always been
Speaker 1: that thing that I chase and that I desire. And
Speaker 1: what I realized oftentimes was that when I was chasing
Speaker 1: a number, I knew I was off track. If it
Speaker 1: was a number related to my weight, if it was
Speaker 1: number related to money, if it was a number related
Speaker 1: to followers, or likes or purchases or you know, all
Speaker 1: these things that were externally focused on something that could
Speaker 1: be deduced to another I'm off track because whether I
Speaker 1: weigh a certain amount, you know, whatever amount, it's like,
Speaker 1: how do I feel on my body if I'm impacting
Speaker 1: five million people or five Like, impacting one person's life
Speaker 1: positively is huge, And so I always kind of come
Speaker 1: back to like outside of numbers, like how do I
Speaker 1: feel like my success now? Is how much fun I'm having?
Speaker 1: I'm like, am I enjoying the process? And for writing
Speaker 1: the book? You know, the process of writing was so
Speaker 1: much fun, and we were just talking a little bit
Speaker 1: before and then you get to the part where you're
Speaker 1: like marketing it and selling it, which is so much
Speaker 1: fun in a dream. But for that perfectionist part of
Speaker 1: me and that part of me that feels like I'm
Speaker 1: never good enough, it's been just a challenge, you know,
Speaker 1: to show up. And so I've had to really come
Speaker 1: to like this is for me to enjoy, Like I
Speaker 1: am able to have fun, I'm able to enjoy the process,
Speaker 1: and being successful would be like loving what I'm doing
Speaker 1: and loving who I am. And so now it's so
Speaker 1: much more than a number or anything external.
Speaker 3: It's a feeling.
Speaker 2: And how have you guys moved from because I think,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm sure many people can relate to that.
Speaker 2: How have you moved from the mindset of numbers, whether
Speaker 2: it is on a scale, to do with your body
Speaker 2: or to do with your work, to how you are now?
Speaker 2: Do you have any practices or anything specific and tangible
Speaker 2: that people can do to allow themselves that journey.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is a simple one, but it's just kind
Speaker 4: of trained my mind to sync up with my heart.
Speaker 4: But I put an alarm on my phone to like
Speaker 4: check in during the day. Oftentimes I'm doing creative things
Speaker 4: or in our business in whatever way, and I can
Speaker 4: get very serious very quickly and then kind of wrapped
Speaker 4: up in what I haven't done yet, or you know, yeah,
Speaker 4: just kind of the lack and the alarm on my
Speaker 4: phone is there's various ones, but it's like check in.
Speaker 4: It's like checking in with the heart. So it's like,
Speaker 4: how are you really feeling in this moment, and how
Speaker 4: can you invite in more joys? And so it's a
Speaker 4: little corny, but it's actually trained me. I don't necessarily
Speaker 4: need the alarm now all the time. Because I can
Speaker 4: just really check in in those moments that I feel
Speaker 4: myself getting a little rigid, a little serious, a little
Speaker 4: wrapped up in the mind and what it's saying, how
Speaker 4: it's making meaning about what I'm doing, and really just
Speaker 4: dropping down into my heart and just being like, Okay,
Speaker 4: how does this feel? How can you invite in a
Speaker 4: little bit more joy to this? Because at the end
Speaker 4: of the day, and we talk about this in the book,
Speaker 4: like the soul of ours is just like having a blast,
Speaker 4: like this is an adventure, So how can we take
Speaker 4: on more of like how she's experiencing this rather than
Speaker 4: like this, you know, the mind's kind of like heaviness
Speaker 4: and trudging through everything.
Speaker 2: I love that that's so useful.
Speaker 1: I think for me whenever I have moments where I'm
Speaker 1: really feeling good or on purpose, I just like to
Speaker 1: double click on it and just pause, like I like
Speaker 1: to just feel it cellularly.
Speaker 3: In my body.
Speaker 1: And it's almost like I'll stretch time, Like I'll just
Speaker 1: have a moment and I'm like, ooh, I'm feeling good.
Speaker 1: How can I slow down? How can I stretch time?
Speaker 1: How can I just feel it what it feels like
Speaker 1: to feel good? Cellularly in my body. Like as an example,
Speaker 1: we did an event a few weeks ago with a
Speaker 1: friend and we didn't really share about it. We just
Speaker 1: kind of showed up and there was like ten people there,
Speaker 1: which is great, ten people, We love them. But of
Speaker 1: course old me would have been like, there's not two
Speaker 1: hundred people here, what's the point. But my friend's kids
Speaker 1: were there, and I got to be with my friend's
Speaker 1: kids and play with her kids and laugh with her kids,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is what this is about
Speaker 1: when I'm eighty. This is what I'm going to value
Speaker 1: when i'm older. This is what I'll value. And having
Speaker 1: moments of play and laughter felt like more worth it
Speaker 1: than if I.
Speaker 3: Was in front of two hundred people.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I'm just going to double
Speaker 1: click on this feeling of feeling good playing with my
Speaker 1: friends kids in this now moment because the guru part
Speaker 1: of me, the most spiritual aspect of me, knows that
Speaker 1: this is what it's for and not anything else.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love the idea of the bird's eye view. Yeah
Speaker 2: oh yeah, you know, so wrapped up in the moment
Speaker 2: and this present thing that's happening, and then as soon
Speaker 2: as if you have that opportunity to bird's eye view
Speaker 2: for a second, you're like, yeah, I was like, why
Speaker 2: am I? Why am I even thinking about this for
Speaker 2: more than an hour? Why am I even like letting
Speaker 2: this bother me at all? How is this going to
Speaker 2: affect me? Not even in just five years time, but
Speaker 2: like tomorrow or the next day. And so I think
Speaker 2: that they're really great tips. Actually, thank you for that.
Speaker 2: I would love to dig into the book because I
Speaker 2: actually didn't know much about Saturn returns. For anyone listening
Speaker 2: the book is I think it starts off with Saturn return,
Speaker 2: doesn't it. Yes, it starts off with your Saturn return.
Speaker 2: And I want to start off by asking what is
Speaker 2: Saturn return because I don't know whether everybody knows what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so okay, let's go on an astrological journey.
Speaker 2: Yes, I haven't anyone talk about astrology on this, so
Speaker 2: let's go.
Speaker 3: And we're not experts.
Speaker 4: But when we learned this, it was a complete unlocked
Speaker 4: to the season of life that we were in, and
Speaker 4: really any season of change. So your Saturn return is
Speaker 4: when Saturn the planet comes back to the place in
Speaker 4: the sky it was when you were born and this planet.
Speaker 4: Think of it like your cosmic dad. He's coming in
Speaker 4: very lovingly, but maybe a little more tough love, and
Speaker 4: is asking you to look at aspects of your life
Speaker 4: that are aligned and aspects that are not. And those
Speaker 4: misalignments are usually the ones that during this period of
Speaker 4: your life between twenty seven and twenty nine and a
Speaker 4: half almost thirty, that feel like they're falling apart. You know,
Speaker 4: it feels like you should be in a different place
Speaker 4: and things aren't just working or clicking. You might feel
Speaker 4: incredibly insecure or looking around feeling like everyone has it
Speaker 4: together and you do not. But man, you know, this
Speaker 4: period of your life is actually it feels like it's crumbling,
Speaker 4: but it is truly coming to get for you. And
Speaker 4: when we realized this, we had an astrologer on our
Speaker 4: show very early on and she said, you guys are
Speaker 4: in your Saturn return. We were like, oh my, Like
Speaker 4: it just changed everything. Like if you're not crazy, yeh,
Speaker 4: to know to no one, to understand on a cosmic level,
Speaker 4: you know, if you kind of bring that into the
Speaker 4: room was so liberating. We were like, oh, there's a
Speaker 4: purpose here and it made so much sense. So all
Speaker 4: that to say you know, this is really an opportunity
Speaker 4: to get get in right relationship with change because you're
Speaker 4: going to change throughout your whole life, and also see
Speaker 4: some of the themes that Saturn brings to you and
Speaker 4: brings up to you that might reoccur throughout your life,
Speaker 4: but this one is going to be the most intense
Speaker 4: this period, and then you'll be able to kind of understand, oh,
Speaker 4: this is what I'm working with in life, and this
Speaker 4: is what I can really meet and commit to grown
Speaker 4: through rather than avoiding and staying stock.
Speaker 2: And does does it any happen once in your life?
Speaker 4: No? So hopefully you know it could happen three times,
Speaker 4: So at twenty nine and a half or so, and
Speaker 4: then again around fifty eight, fifty nine, and then in
Speaker 4: your nineties for the third time.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, imagine your nineties being like why am
Speaker 2: I even here?
Speaker 3: Because it's lighter and lighter. That's when you're like, it's
Speaker 3: all good.
Speaker 1: Well aligns to people's quarter life crisis, mid life crisis.
Speaker 1: It's kind of around that time period too, so much
Speaker 1: since and then around twenty seven to around twenty seven
Speaker 1: is when your prefrontal cortex comes online. So basically it's
Speaker 1: when you become conscious. So a lot of times for
Speaker 1: most or for most people, they're living life before that
Speaker 1: time just kind of programmed with what society tells them
Speaker 1: to do, what their parents want them to be, and
Speaker 1: they're living a life that may not be aligned to
Speaker 1: their soul but to external things. And so when your
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex comes online, it's like really that time where
Speaker 1: you're thinking existentially, You're like, what.
Speaker 3: Am I here to do? Who am I here to be?
Speaker 1: What is going on? And it can be really really
Speaker 1: it can be kind of scary for if you have
Speaker 1: it for the first time. And so for any way
Speaker 1: that we can help understand that period, whether it's astrology
Speaker 1: or whether it's you know, brain development, we wanted people
Speaker 1: to feel less alone and feeling like they were lost,
Speaker 1: or feeling like they were questioning what they knew, and
Speaker 1: that they wanted to live a better, more aligned life.
Speaker 2: I for sure went through that.
Speaker 1: Please, I was like, we need to hear from from Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Think it was. It was during the time when I
Speaker 2: moved to New York. So not only was I going
Speaker 2: through that, I then had extreme external change. So I
Speaker 2: honestly felt like I went through a mini breakdown when
Speaker 2: I moved to New York because all the things that
Speaker 2: I had valued or thought about myself had also come
Speaker 2: from external people. Because I was the youngest, I was
Speaker 2: a younger child. Everything was like fed to me, told
Speaker 2: to me. And then I moved to New York, which
Speaker 2: was an extreme external change for me. I never wanted
Speaker 2: to leave, and all of those things mixed together, new friends,
Speaker 2: new place, not being able to work there. Just everything
Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, this is what mid life
Speaker 2: crisis must feel like. But I'm not midlife yet. And
Speaker 2: it was the biggest growth phase I have ever been
Speaker 2: through my life, and it is what has shaped my
Speaker 2: ability to be able to move through resistance and to
Speaker 2: be able to do things that I would have normally
Speaker 2: said no to, to be able to say for my
Speaker 2: mind to know that even though this is hard, you've
Speaker 2: done it before, you could do it again. Because that
Speaker 2: was a really rough time. And so I actually now
Speaker 2: my mom says this all the time. She was like,
Speaker 2: she was there's a caterpillar butterfly thing, but if she
Speaker 2: really felt like she saw me go through that phase
Speaker 2: of my life where it was really rough, and she
Speaker 2: was like and suddenly then I just saw you seem
Speaker 2: so at ease and like bloom, And when I look
Speaker 2: back at it, I really do bird's eye view, I'm like, wow,
Speaker 2: that was such a transitional phase. But the biggest growth
Speaker 2: spat that I had way bigger than when I like
Speaker 2: hit puberty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you feel like?
Speaker 4: Was like the area or areas of your life that
Speaker 4: were being like kind of highlighted as like, hey, this
Speaker 4: is totally unaligned right now.
Speaker 3: You got to look at this worth.
Speaker 2: Wow, mine was fully work with worth. And you know,
Speaker 2: I was watching Jay at that time where he was
Speaker 2: fully in his purpose, like it was the beginning of
Speaker 2: him really being in it. And I was in this
Speaker 2: place where I was like, what am I even here for?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: What am I doing here? What is my role? What
Speaker 2: is my service? Why am i him? I'm meant to
Speaker 2: just be a wife. I want to be a wife,
Speaker 2: But am I just meant to be a wife? Like,
Speaker 2: because that's what it feels like right now? I've got
Speaker 2: nothing else going for me. And it was definitely self
Speaker 2: worth in realizing that, oh my gosh, I built all
Speaker 2: my self worth on other people's view of me. And
Speaker 2: then it was interesting because when I then flowed into
Speaker 2: being someone online. It was really tricky not making not
Speaker 2: transitioning that worth into online with but I think I
Speaker 2: luckily came into deeper spiritual practices during that time, and
Speaker 2: obviously you eb and flow through it, but it was
Speaker 2: definitely a self worth thing for me that really came
Speaker 2: to surface.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the deepening of the spiritual practices is
Speaker 1: what anchored and grounded us in such a way. And
Speaker 1: I know I had been a spiritual little being my
Speaker 1: whole life, but it was finding that true sense of
Speaker 1: spirituality in my own unique way, because your spirituality is
Speaker 1: different than mine and different than yours, and having that
Speaker 1: foundation and having that belief in a co collaboration was
Speaker 1: something bigger than me, and the trust and the knowing
Speaker 1: that if I believe that this is all on me,
Speaker 1: that that's when I know off the path. You know,
Speaker 1: of course, in Miracles talks about that. It talks about
Speaker 1: if we believe that it's all on us, then we
Speaker 1: already know that we're not there. That the fear really
Speaker 1: comes in when we believe that we have to shoulder
Speaker 1: it all. And so my belief in something greater, in
Speaker 1: a greater path, and my soul in a greater purpose
Speaker 1: was really the thing that sort of brought me out
Speaker 1: of it and brought me into a deeper sense of
Speaker 1: purpose and self that like became an anchor.
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. And when you think of yourself,
Speaker 2: when you think it's not just you, you believe so much
Speaker 2: more can happen. Yes, it's that thing of like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I know I'm limited in certain ways because yes, physically
Speaker 2: I can only run this far and mentally I can
Speaker 2: only do this much. But then when you add a
Speaker 2: sprinkle of something beyond you into it, you're like, oh, actually,
Speaker 2: I know, I kind of it, but.
Speaker 3: You leave room for so much.
Speaker 2: Divine might be able to do it. Together, we might
Speaker 2: be able to do it.
Speaker 1: Yes, there are no limits to divine, like there are
Speaker 1: no limits. And when I can get out of my
Speaker 1: limited mind of this is what I can do, this
Speaker 1: is what's possible, and just like surrendered till it's possible,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I only can taste how good it
Speaker 1: can get.
Speaker 2: We only need like magic in our life. I feel
Speaker 2: like everything is so practical, so logical, so theoretical. Everyone's
Speaker 2: like one thing to another, and then you think, but
Speaker 2: where's the magic in life? I know where do we
Speaker 2: where do we get this magic from? And you know,
Speaker 2: I guess we will feel that in our spiritual practices.
Speaker 2: But yeah, to anyone listening, like where do you get
Speaker 2: that magic from? Like where do you feel that extra
Speaker 2: spark of something beyond your physical self?
Speaker 3: We were driving here and there was an adopt the highway.
Speaker 4: It was like, wait, yes, atheist something some atheist united
Speaker 4: and respect and love. But also I just had that
Speaker 4: feeling of like, oh, it made me think of anyone
Speaker 4: who just shoulders life, just feeling like they have to
Speaker 4: figure it out themselves, you know, and how happy that
Speaker 4: can be.
Speaker 2: What are some of your daily spiritual practices that you
Speaker 2: find help you.
Speaker 1: I think for me prayer is just the best. And
Speaker 1: prayer can look different for everyone, but for me, prayer
Speaker 1: has all the benefits of meditation. It's that quiet time,
Speaker 1: it's that nervous system regulation, and it's really that conversation
Speaker 1: with my soul and my conversation with my guides or God.
Speaker 1: And it's really the moments when I just the most clear,
Speaker 1: I just get the most dialed and I can give
Speaker 1: whatever stress or anxiety up. One of my favorite practices
Speaker 1: and rituals to do at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: I'll pray in the morning, and I pray at night,
Speaker 1: and I praying throughout the day pretty much. But one
Speaker 1: of my favorite practices is to imagine myself walking up
Speaker 1: to an altar, Like in my mind's eye, I'll be
Speaker 1: walking up to this beautiful altar in the sky or
Speaker 1: nature wherever, and I'll just imagine myself giving up any stress,
Speaker 1: any anxiety, anything that I'm shouldering or holding in my
Speaker 1: life to this altar. So anything I'm ruminating on, like oh,
Speaker 1: I'm fearful of this, I'm scared of this, this clearing
Speaker 1: conversation I have to do. You know, this sickness that
Speaker 1: my dad has, all these things, I just put it
Speaker 1: on the altar and imagine it being taken care of
Speaker 1: in a greater way than I could have ever imagined.
Speaker 1: And I imagine it's cellularly leaving my body so that
Speaker 1: I can feel free.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: And you know that type of feeling of being taken
Speaker 1: care of, of possibility of stress, reduction of peace is
Speaker 1: so so nourishing and it's been so helpful for me.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful the altar in your heart.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can imagine you can sometimes my altar
Speaker 1: is like covered and leave. Sometimes it's like gemstones, it's
Speaker 1: like this decorated.
Speaker 3: It's just so beautiful.
Speaker 2: It's a really beautiful song in our practice, and it
Speaker 2: says mona mon there, and that's exactly what it means,
Speaker 2: creating an altar or temple in your heart. It's honestly
Speaker 2: why I got this tattoo recently. Actually it's a little
Speaker 2: temple and it's mana Mandere. I'll send it to you.
Speaker 2: It's in Sanskrit, but you'll feel it. You don't need
Speaker 2: to really know what it's saying. But it's all about
Speaker 2: creating this temple in your heart space and doing exactly
Speaker 2: what you said. And that's beautiful having that surrender. What
Speaker 2: about you?
Speaker 4: So as a new mom, to be honest, it's been
Speaker 4: I had my two hour routine in the morning before baby,
Speaker 4: and I would have all my practices I'll set and
Speaker 4: it's been really cool to kind of, you know, redefine
Speaker 4: like what those practices look like for me. How do
Speaker 4: I connect with God? How do I connect with my soul?
Speaker 4: And prayer is absolutely part of my practice, but I've
Speaker 4: also found just you know, where can I find beauty
Speaker 4: and reverence for my life in these like very mundane moments,
Speaker 4: you know. So my son will get up in the
Speaker 4: morning and I go in and you know, we have
Speaker 4: our time and our cozy chair and we just like
Speaker 4: are cheek to cheek looking out at Brooklyn and you know,
Speaker 4: just having that moment together and I just cherish that
Speaker 4: and I feel I feel God in that moment, and
Speaker 4: I feel just fully fully held and fully connected heart
Speaker 4: to heart with my son. And it's just in those
Speaker 4: mundane moments I've found the same feeling I desired before baby,
Speaker 4: you know, in those spiritual practices to be there as well.
Speaker 4: So if anyone is listening and they're feeling so busy
Speaker 4: right now, my life is just in flux.
Speaker 3: I whether you had a baby, or.
Speaker 4: Maybe you're moving, or maybe you're changing careers and you
Speaker 4: just feel like the thought of trying to incorporate a
Speaker 4: longer spiritual routine throughout your day feels too much. Just
Speaker 4: know that it can happen in an instant, you know,
Speaker 4: you can.
Speaker 3: You can pray in an instant.
Speaker 4: You can you know, just touch your heart in an
Speaker 4: instant and connect to your soul.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be you.
Speaker 4: Know, cross legged in the middle of a room with
Speaker 4: candles and all these things. I think we we kind
Speaker 4: of paint that picture, but it doesn't actually have to
Speaker 4: be that.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I really think motherhood is. I mean, even
Speaker 2: in our culture it says that your relationship being a
Speaker 2: mother is as close to a relationship as inhumanly possible
Speaker 2: that you can get your relationship with God because it
Speaker 2: is such a it's a relationship of service. And you know,
Speaker 2: up in for us we say your relationship to God
Speaker 2: is of service. And so when you have that child
Speaker 2: that is completely under your at your surrender, everything you
Speaker 2: do for it is what it receives or what the
Speaker 2: child receives. It's like that is the closest relationship to
Speaker 2: to serving the Divine that you get because you're in
Speaker 2: constant mode of service as a mother. Oh yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: what piece of advice have you been given over these
Speaker 2: past years or even while you were going through a
Speaker 2: safon in return that you feel has stayed with you,
Speaker 2: like a piece of advice you would give to someone
Speaker 2: else going through it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think for me as someone that was codependent, you know,
Speaker 1: so codependent and I'll never forget when Lindsay started going
Speaker 1: to therapy and Lindsay went first, like I said, and
Speaker 1: when she came, she's like, I'm working with my feelings
Speaker 1: of codependency and I'm working with this pattern of codependency.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, that.
Speaker 1: Sucks for her, like as someone that's incredibly independent, like
Speaker 1: that really sucks for her. I was like, interesting about
Speaker 1: empathize literally literally, I was like, keep me posted, girl,
Speaker 1: you know, realizing my codependency was so deep I didn't
Speaker 1: even see it and I couldn't even or standard or
Speaker 1: zom so having coaches and therapists and mentors that just
Speaker 1: simply ask you, but how do you feel? You know,
Speaker 1: it can be you receive a text message from someone
Speaker 1: and then you're sent, often to the story of they
Speaker 1: don't care about me, or they they think this, or
Speaker 1: they want me to you know. The stories just start
Speaker 1: when we receive emails, text messages, things on the phone, conversations,
Speaker 1: and it can just come back to like how do
Speaker 1: I feel? What do I want? How do I want
Speaker 1: to show up? And I think there's the turning inward
Speaker 1: to me and remembering that I'm a person, I am
Speaker 1: a form, I am a being that deserves an opinion,
Speaker 1: that deserves a perspective, that can be in the room
Speaker 1: and in this conversation, which just huge for me. So
Speaker 1: now with anything I always kind of turn in. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how are you doing, how are you feeling? What do
Speaker 1: you want? It's like bringing the I back in the
Speaker 1: conversation has just been worlds helpful in my romantic relationships,
Speaker 1: in my business, in my family relationships, and it just
Speaker 1: helps me to be more centered and more myself so
Speaker 1: I can be in true relationship with people out of
Speaker 1: love instead of out of any codependent fears or patterns.
Speaker 4: Shout out to our therapists who I feel like you
Speaker 4: probably quote on the regular and can't actually say their
Speaker 4: names because this one is also similar flavor. But my
Speaker 4: therapist would ask me, is this really? Is this you know?
Speaker 4: Is this your voice? Is this your desire? Is this
Speaker 4: what you really want to do? And it's just a
Speaker 4: great question we can ask ourselves because I'm someone who
Speaker 4: can easily take on the desires of other people or
Speaker 4: the dreams of other people that they have. For me,
Speaker 4: I was living an expired dream for a long time.
Speaker 4: I wanted to be an actress, which was my truth
Speaker 4: from a very young age. But there came a point
Speaker 4: where that dream was expired, and I was still like
Speaker 4: pushing for it because everyone expected me to, and you know,
Speaker 4: I had I remember having a conversation with my therapist
Speaker 4: about this a few of them, and she was just like,
Speaker 4: is this still your dream? You know, like who are
Speaker 4: you doing this for? And it was just such a
Speaker 4: powerful question that I still have to ask myself even
Speaker 4: as a mom now, you know, just kind of checking
Speaker 4: in as I navigate rearing a child. But it could
Speaker 4: just bring you right back to your center, and I
Speaker 4: think that's where when I make decisions, that's the best
Speaker 4: place I can be. You know, it doesn't have to
Speaker 4: be the right quote quote decision, it just has to
Speaker 4: be from that center.
Speaker 2: I love that the dream is expired, you know. I
Speaker 2: feel like your conzy told go for your dreams, like
Speaker 2: push for and of course you should. But I also
Speaker 2: love that side of the coin where you can say, actually, yes,
Speaker 2: that was my dream, but it doesn't need to be fulfilled.
Speaker 2: And I'm actually okay with that. And I think it's
Speaker 2: you know, seeing as expired rather than a failure is
Speaker 2: a complete shifted narrative for your own mind and for
Speaker 2: you to accept that it was, it's something you can accept,
Speaker 2: not something that you have to see as something that
Speaker 2: didn't work out. It wasn't failure. It's just not part
Speaker 2: of me anymore. It was then, not.
Speaker 4: Now, and we're constantly changing. So to like think that
Speaker 4: we will have the same dream for our entire lives,
Speaker 4: I'm sure that's possible, but like to have that expectation
Speaker 4: just feels a little unrealistic, so allowing it to change
Speaker 4: and evolve, Like acting was once my dream, but look
Speaker 4: at the skills and talents I have that I was
Speaker 4: kind of pushing into that dream that I'm actually expressing
Speaker 4: now on the podcast and will express in other ways
Speaker 4: throughout my life.
Speaker 3: So it's just so interesting to track.
Speaker 2: I remember I was talking about this recently. I can't
Speaker 2: remember where, but I had when I was really from
Speaker 2: a really young age, or I would have dolls and
Speaker 2: whenever I would draw myself, it would be with like
Speaker 2: all these five kids, and it was like I was
Speaker 2: always like pregnant. I was like a kid. I was
Speaker 2: always pregnant in my picture, like and I'm twenty here,
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, And I was literally like I would say,
Speaker 2: even when I was like ten, eleven, twelve, I would
Speaker 2: always be visualizing myself having waves. I loved children, whether
Speaker 2: I was working with children or playing with my little
Speaker 2: little or cousin when I was ten, doing her hair,
Speaker 2: whatever it was. And when I got to New York,
Speaker 2: and obviously I was already married, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I want to be a young mum and I want
Speaker 2: to like have kids really young, and I want like,
Speaker 2: however many of them. And I realized I was like
Speaker 2: carrying on this dream, but I wasn't ready for that dream,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't. I thought that's what I wanted, and
Speaker 2: so beautiful if it was what I wanted, But I
Speaker 2: realized I wasn't ready for that dream, and so I
Speaker 2: was like and then I remember thinking, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: am I like going against something that I should be
Speaker 2: doing because it's been in my mind for so long.
Speaker 2: And then when I got to like three years after that,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, have I completely ruined
Speaker 2: my dream? Like it's my dream ruined that I didn't
Speaker 2: do this thing that I've been talking about or thinking
Speaker 2: about since I was ten years old or probably even younger.
Speaker 2: And then you realize that it's okay to grow and
Speaker 2: your mind shift can change because you experience different things.
Speaker 2: Your eyes open to so many different things. And it's
Speaker 2: not to say I don't want to be a mother,
Speaker 2: but it's saying that that dream wasn't for me at
Speaker 2: the time, and had I push myself into it, maybe
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been ready for that. And so it's
Speaker 2: so interesting because I think it's not expired, but it
Speaker 2: just wasn't there. It wasn't for me at that point,
Speaker 2: and the dream had to change a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I think now you know you can have
Speaker 3: it all.
Speaker 1: You can have that dream and you can have other dreams,
Speaker 1: and you can allow things to unfold. And I think
Speaker 1: in my life, my dreams were a little too small,
Speaker 1: right I was. I'm from a small town in Ohio,
Speaker 1: so not many people had big dreams where I grew up,
Speaker 1: and so the dreams that I did have were pretty
Speaker 1: like small, Like I think I wanted to be on
Speaker 1: a local news anchor, which is totally fine, but I
Speaker 1: just wanted to do something that I saw. Yes, And
Speaker 1: for a lot of us, we're just kind of contextualizing
Speaker 1: what dreams are possible based on who were around. So
Speaker 1: when you kind of see in life, if you move
Speaker 1: to Los ANGELESO you kind of see different opportunities and options.
Speaker 1: You're expanded into the possibility an idea of different dreams.
Speaker 2: That's so true, and.
Speaker 1: So it's beautiful to allow ourselves to kind of have,
Speaker 1: you know, this expansion of ideas and possibilities with our dreams.
Speaker 1: And I would say, now, I don't even know for
Speaker 1: I have any dreams. Yeah, I'm just like God, whatever
Speaker 1: you want for me, like, I just make it good.
Speaker 3: I'm not surprise me.
Speaker 2: God make it good. It's true that that really resonated
Speaker 2: with me because I started coming across all these My
Speaker 2: mum worked all her life, so did my dad. But
Speaker 2: I started seeing all these women who were like entrepreneurs,
Speaker 2: not in their nine to five roles that I was
Speaker 2: used to seeing and that I was in myself. And
Speaker 2: I felt really content when I was doing it. But
Speaker 2: then suddenly, once you see something, you can't unsee it,
Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, I didn't even know this was possible,
Speaker 2: or oh, yeah, maybe that's something I would like to explore.
Speaker 2: And so once your eyes open or you see something
Speaker 2: that's not part of your daily life or culture or
Speaker 2: something that you were used to before, it does shift
Speaker 2: and change you completely, or it opens you up to
Speaker 2: different possibilities that you were ever thinking about because you've
Speaker 2: never seen it.
Speaker 3: In the Internet.
Speaker 1: It's the best and worst place, you know, payful for it.
Speaker 1: But on the Internet you can find the expanders. You
Speaker 1: can find the ideas, the concepts, the people that show
Speaker 1: you what's possible. I'm so grateful for all the women
Speaker 1: in my life, all the women that were surrounded by
Speaker 1: and the most powerful women that are just doing these crazy,
Speaker 1: amazing things that we can be expanded by. But then
Speaker 1: it's also being mindful of where we're following someone else's
Speaker 1: blueprint and really allowing our own soul to lead the way.
Speaker 1: So just kind of doing the dance of Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to let this expand what's possible for me, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to make sure to follow my own blueprint.
Speaker 2: Throughout this journey. What have been some of the like
Speaker 2: quieter signs for you that you were healing, Like, what
Speaker 2: were the little things you were noticing in yourself that
Speaker 2: indicates you, you know what, I'm in the right direction.
Speaker 4: I think for me, I started to trust myself, you know,
Speaker 4: just in those small moments and in those big moments, and.
Speaker 3: No one would see that on the outside.
Speaker 4: You know, it's not an obvious thing, but I just
Speaker 4: allowed the like that inner voice to lead me a
Speaker 4: little bit more rather than what I thought I should do.
Speaker 4: And I really had to take inventory on the shoulds
Speaker 4: that were running in my life in order to get
Speaker 4: to that place that I really trusted myself. So just
Speaker 4: to quickly break that down, a lot of us are
Speaker 4: living a life where, you know, the subtext would be
Speaker 4: I should be married by twenty seven, I should have
Speaker 4: kids by thirty, I should buy a house, I should
Speaker 4: be in that place at that time. And you know,
Speaker 4: like we're saying, you know, life has bigger plans for us,
Speaker 4: you know, and the timeline is not always the one
Speaker 4: we imagine or other people imagine for us. So taking
Speaker 4: inventory of those shoulds and understanding where they came from.
Speaker 4: Are they from my parents? Are they from you know?
Speaker 4: Did I hear it in school? Did I see everyone
Speaker 4: around me do this thing? And then you know I
Speaker 4: started to try on almost like the inverse of the should.
Speaker 4: So if you know, my belief was that I was
Speaker 4: getting I should be married by twenty seven, twenty eight
Speaker 4: and have have my first kid by like twenty nine,
Speaker 4: and you know, I I was thrust into seven years
Speaker 4: of being single at like twenty six or so, twenty seven,
Speaker 4: and in the depths of that, you know, when I
Speaker 4: just felt like I was never going to find my person,
Speaker 4: I just tried on this belief. You know, I trust
Speaker 4: the timing of my life, and I know that understanding
Speaker 4: and knowing myself more deeply is going to attract someone
Speaker 4: who I will truly be in deep connection, in partnership with.
Speaker 4: And just like trying that on for a day, you know,
Speaker 4: walking around in my life truly believing that and seeing
Speaker 4: how that felt, and eventually that became my belief and
Speaker 4: it just it was great to strip it down, you
Speaker 4: know and kind of come back to what I what
Speaker 4: I actually actually believe. And from there I was able
Speaker 4: to trust myself and the small decisions that I was making.
Speaker 4: And then when I would you know, my husband came
Speaker 4: into my life, my now husband, I trusted myself implicitly
Speaker 4: to know that he was my person.
Speaker 1: There was no doubt. I love this question. I want
Speaker 1: to here yours so small signs of how I know
Speaker 1: I'm healing. I think something that I really work with
Speaker 1: is something called internal family systems parts work.
Speaker 3: Do you do that as well.
Speaker 2: Now, Gabby came on the show and she walked me
Speaker 2: through yeah a small like I guess, the small process
Speaker 2: of it, and it was really incredible.
Speaker 3: It's so powerful. It really was so in parts work.
Speaker 1: It's basically we love, honor and accept all parts, all thoughts,
Speaker 1: all feelings and beliefs. And I think before in life
Speaker 1: I would shame myself and be mad at myself if
Speaker 1: I didn't think perfectly act perfectly, like I almost had
Speaker 1: a censor in my own mind. And now I see
Speaker 1: such progress when I can invite in all of the thoughts,
Speaker 1: all of the beliefs, all of the parts of me,
Speaker 1: even the ones that are tired, that are complaining, that
Speaker 1: are sad, that are mean, that are bratty, Like I
Speaker 1: just say yes to all aspects of me, and that
Speaker 1: means I could go into a moment and you know,
Speaker 1: I could have a judger part of me that's like
Speaker 1: doing her thing, and I'm like, okay, I see you, girl,
Speaker 1: Like I know that you feel uncomfortable, we're a little nervous,
Speaker 1: we're trying to differentiate yourself, and I'll just kind of
Speaker 1: invite in all of the things I used to hate
Speaker 1: about myself. I'd be like, oh, I'm so judge, Magtile,
Speaker 1: I'm all these things. And now I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: hear you, I see you, and I love you, and
Speaker 1: you're a part of me. And the more I can
Speaker 1: turn to myself and the parts of me and love them,
Speaker 1: the more whole I am and the better I feel.
Speaker 2: I love both of those so beautiful. What was what
Speaker 2: would be mine? A big warning sign to myself, Actually
Speaker 2: I'll go the opposite way, a sign I was gonna say,
Speaker 2: a big warning sign that I'm not growing, but.
Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna go the other way.
Speaker 2: That I am is how much I criticize other people.
Speaker 1: And also I never see you criticizing anybody.
Speaker 2: So well, whether it's internally or externally. And then well,
Speaker 2: but you know what, who doesn't who doesn't have those
Speaker 2: moments where you're seeing them? And then also a big
Speaker 2: one for me is when I feeling other people's joy
Speaker 2: for them, Like that's a big one for me, Like
Speaker 2: do I actually am I actually really happy for you?
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, that's amazing. And inside I'm
Speaker 2: like wishing for their demise, not wishing for their demise,
Speaker 2: but sometimes like it's hard to feel joy for other
Speaker 2: people when you're not feeling good. And so I think
Speaker 2: a big indication for me of when I'm genuinely like
Speaker 2: doing better in myself or going through a period where
Speaker 2: my practices are on point and I'm doing the work
Speaker 2: and I'm recognizing what's happening is the initial reaction when
Speaker 2: someone has something good in their life and how am
Speaker 2: I feeling? And then when I notice that, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: thank god, I was actually happy, or sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, why did I feel like that about them?
Speaker 2: It's actually not about them, YEA, Like what was it about? Well, Okay,
Speaker 2: they got an award for something. Let's just say. I'm like,
Speaker 2: but is it the award or is it like, am
Speaker 2: I not feeling worthy?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: It really helps you to break down what you need
Speaker 2: to work on as soon as you realize your reaction
Speaker 2: to someone's joy has brought you not joy, like anything
Speaker 2: but joy.
Speaker 3: I think that's gross.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, because you're looking at the
Speaker 1: thing and you're seeing what it means about you and
Speaker 1: what's coming up for you. I had this thought the
Speaker 1: other day around people in the spirituality space, like being frauds.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, and then I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well if that's my thought, then where am I a fraud?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You always have to turn it around because like, what
Speaker 1: are you looking for in people? And that can and
Speaker 1: I think what people can be that can be scary
Speaker 1: for people to look at themselves. My hope is that
Speaker 1: people just create a soft internal landscape for themselves to
Speaker 1: explore the thoughts, explore the ideas, like to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe I am a fraud, maybe I'm not a fraud.
Speaker 3: Like it's safe in here.
Speaker 1: It's safe in my mind to have this exploration in
Speaker 1: this conversation. Because if we're not safe within ourselves to
Speaker 1: be messy, to be judgmental, to be catty, to not
Speaker 1: be happy for people, we're not safe anywhere. And so
Speaker 1: saying yes to all of the sticky thoughts and feelings,
Speaker 1: I think is such a beautiful practice and really is
Speaker 1: what helps us grow.
Speaker 2: I think about that even with online comments. It's like
Speaker 2: whenever there are somebody that will be said and I'm
Speaker 2: like whatever, whatever, and then there'll be one I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: when you get triggered, and then and then I have
Speaker 2: to think, why did that trigger me? And why am
Speaker 2: I sending them a voice back.
Speaker 3: Why did I send them a picture of this?
Speaker 2: Why did I send them an explanation? What am I
Speaker 2: trying to for all.
Speaker 1: That are like we love you, Roddy, we love you,
Speaker 1: and this person's like you suck and you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: let me talk to.
Speaker 3: You about that. Let's have a conversation about what you
Speaker 3: don't like about me?
Speaker 2: And it really is a mirror, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Like a I have a hot take that I think
Speaker 1: social media and the internet can be such a powerful
Speaker 1: mirror for us of that we need to grow. Where
Speaker 1: are you outsourcing your intuition and your power? What are
Speaker 1: the things that come up? Because I will notice that
Speaker 1: too when I have certain comments where I'm like, ooh,
Speaker 1: that one was for me to see to grow and
Speaker 1: integrate and like let go of because yeah I can.
Speaker 1: It's not my favorite thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it happens.
Speaker 2: For people who struggle. You said with the purpose, do
Speaker 2: you have like a framework of things that people can
Speaker 2: go through in their mind or writing down? For Okay,
Speaker 2: I actually don't know what I'm supposed to do here.
Speaker 2: What are the first like three steps I can take? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think the first thing for purpose and just to
Speaker 1: frame it, I was someone that wanted so desperately in
Speaker 1: my life to find purpose. I was so anxious and
Speaker 1: so depressed because I wanted to find my purpose and
Speaker 1: it was so hard for me, you know, in my mind,
Speaker 1: because I felt like I had to be doing something
Speaker 1: that was on purpose.
Speaker 3: I think the first thing is really thinking about what.
Speaker 1: You're naturally good at and if you need support in
Speaker 1: that and understanding what you're naturally good at. I love
Speaker 1: the practice of asking people that you love, your friends,
Speaker 1: your family to reflect back to you what you're naturally
Speaker 1: good at. So this can be like, hey, mom, where
Speaker 1: do you see me shining or thriving? Like where do
Speaker 1: you think I'm naturally good at things? This can be
Speaker 1: asking friends or family. I suggest asking the people that
Speaker 1: are the best speakers, communicators. You know, maybe not the
Speaker 1: friend that you kind of have an off feeling about,
Speaker 1: Like ask the people that you know are going to
Speaker 1: give you the right answer. They can help mirror back
Speaker 1: to you where you could use these natural skills, gifts,
Speaker 1: and abilities. I think as a second place, see where
Speaker 1: you feel and flow. So for me, as a podcast
Speaker 1: host and you know someone that teaches and speaks, I
Speaker 1: am most in flow when i'm teaching, I'm most in
Speaker 1: flow when I'm podcasting, and I didn't really know that
Speaker 1: until we got into it. But now I can see
Speaker 1: back in life that when I'm in conversation with people
Speaker 1: that feels deep, that's where.
Speaker 3: I'm in flow.
Speaker 1: And so notice where you're in flow, which is really
Speaker 1: really helpful. And then I think third, redefining purpose. I
Speaker 1: think people feel like their purpose is thing external, their
Speaker 1: purpose is something that makes the money, and their purpose
Speaker 1: is their job. If your purpose here as a soul
Speaker 1: was to experience and experiment in life, what would you
Speaker 1: do what with the joy that you would follow? What
Speaker 1: was the thing that you really just feel lit up
Speaker 1: by and excited by?
Speaker 3: And I think when we can kind of let.
Speaker 1: Go of the idea that purpose is this really big
Speaker 1: thing outside of us that means we have to be
Speaker 1: on stage in Madison Square Garden and do all these
Speaker 1: crazy things, it can get so much easier to remember that, like,
Speaker 1: our soul is here for purpose, the purpose of our
Speaker 1: existence is to be here now, and really just seeing
Speaker 1: that as less pressure.
Speaker 3: I was going to say that bird's eye view is
Speaker 3: just so helpful.
Speaker 4: I think purpose holds so much charge these days people
Speaker 4: feel like, well, if I am not on purpose, then
Speaker 4: you know, I must be off my path, you know.
Speaker 4: And I think we are the purpose, you know, and
Speaker 4: we are always on our path.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I think I got tripped up so much because I
Speaker 4: thought I wasn't on my path. But you know, whether
Speaker 4: it feels like a zig or zag, it's always the
Speaker 4: same path and providing lessons and support and guidance for
Speaker 4: more of becoming who you really are.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: How do you see purpose?
Speaker 2: How do I see purpose?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: I've watched so many people who I feel have lived
Speaker 2: their purpose. One of them is my spiritual teacher that's
Speaker 2: staying with me right now, has had been a month
Speaker 2: for fifty years, and his sole purpose has been to
Speaker 2: share God and goodness with the world. Like that you
Speaker 2: can really believe that goodness exists in the world, and
Speaker 2: not through speaking but through acting, not through like saying
Speaker 2: you should do something, but through literally being that person
Speaker 2: and allowing people to see it and want what you've got.
Speaker 2: Like whatever you're doing, I want to do. It is
Speaker 2: how I feel when I'm around him. I see purposes
Speaker 2: constantly being lost and found. That's been my experience of it.
Speaker 2: I was actually going to call this podcast lost and Found,
Speaker 2: because I really felt like feel like you expect once
Speaker 2: you're found, you're found, and once you've got it, you've
Speaker 2: got it. And this, as soon as I've grabbed it,
Speaker 2: this is it. It's gonna be like this, and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be holding it with like a torch above me
Speaker 2: all the time. And actually it's similar to what you
Speaker 2: were saying about Sassin return. I actually think the point
Speaker 2: of life is the lost in the found is just
Speaker 2: as much there as the lost, and both go together,
Speaker 2: and you will know what found is without being lost.
Speaker 2: And I don't think you have to see the loss
Speaker 2: as being a negative thing, because without without exploring different paths,
Speaker 2: which is what usually do when you're lost, without trying
Speaker 2: to look in the places which you wouldn't normally when
Speaker 2: you've lost something, you wouldn't actually be able to explore
Speaker 2: to figure out what found means. And so I struggle
Speaker 2: with this question because I feel like my purpose has
Speaker 2: changed through time, and I do think there's been periods
Speaker 2: of my life where my purpose has been to serve
Speaker 2: my family, and that has been so when I felt
Speaker 2: at home, and then there's been times when my grandma
Speaker 2: was in hospital like two years ago. I stayed with
Speaker 2: her and my purpose was solely to look after her
Speaker 2: and serve her, and that was like everything I wanted.
Speaker 2: Nothing else mattered in that moment. And then there's been
Speaker 2: times where I felt like, when I moved to New York,
Speaker 2: my purpose was to support Jay and support him through
Speaker 2: what he was going through and what I wanted at
Speaker 2: the time. Honestly, I didn't want it to matter, and
Speaker 2: it didn't because he wasn't expecting it. But I felt like,
Speaker 2: as a person, that's where I wanted to be. And
Speaker 2: now I feel like my purpose has been like, oh okay,
Speaker 2: I now feel I've learned so much along the way.
Speaker 2: Serving others has become that purpose, and I notice that
Speaker 2: it is what I'm supposed to be doing, because when
Speaker 2: i start doing things for another motive, or I'm doing
Speaker 2: partnerships that don't feel right, or I'm making money in
Speaker 2: ways that I actually feel a bit, I don't want
Speaker 2: to be sharing that with people. I know it's because
Speaker 2: the ultimate purpose for me is if I'm not serving
Speaker 2: them in the right way, it feels wrong. And that
Speaker 2: might change as time goes on, But yeah, I think
Speaker 2: I see purpose is something that for me changes. It
Speaker 2: may be the same for someone for the whole life.
Speaker 1: But that was stunning. Yeah, I loved Almah revd Up.
Speaker 1: But you know, and you were like following the call
Speaker 1: of your soul in each of these moments. You're like
Speaker 1: serving the moment. You're serving what your values, you're serving,
Speaker 1: what is meaningful and matters to you. And what you
Speaker 1: even said at the beginning about your teacher, like he
Speaker 1: serves God and goodness. Yeah, sounds like a great purpose
Speaker 1: to me. And it sounds like something too that anyone
Speaker 1: can do, you know. I like when people can kind
Speaker 1: of and even for myself, this is medicine. Like what
Speaker 1: could the purpose be that I could do every day?
Speaker 1: I can serve goodness in God, just like you said exactly.
Speaker 1: I can do this right now in this moment. I
Speaker 1: can do this with the barista. I can do this
Speaker 1: with the uber driver. I can do this with my family.
Speaker 1: You know, Like, what is the thing that you could
Speaker 1: truly do every day that's going to make your life
Speaker 1: better and make the world better. And it doesn't need
Speaker 1: to be big, it doesn't need to be grand. It
Speaker 1: can be simple and.
Speaker 2: It can look different every day, Like the way you
Speaker 2: do the way you live your purpose won't look the
Speaker 2: same every day externally or internally. And I think that
Speaker 2: that's really important too, because sometimes you think, okay, that
Speaker 2: means I, like me living in my purpose means I
Speaker 2: have to put out a video every single day or
Speaker 2: I'm not so.
Speaker 4: Otherwise when people get confused, like me, livery purpose seven
Speaker 4: tiktoxic day And there's.
Speaker 1: No shade to that because no, if that's in flow,
Speaker 1: if that feels aligned, if that's your values, it's all good.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's like, where does it come from?
Speaker 1: This thing that feels good and beautiful? And just like
Speaker 1: on that soul level to like the mind and the
Speaker 1: human that keeps us trapped and small.
Speaker 2: That was really lovely in the conversation, I was wondering
Speaker 2: whether there's a quote or any kind of message that
Speaker 2: has been in your heart or mind in the last
Speaker 2: couple of months or for your life that keeps coming back.
Speaker 2: I guess I like saying a mantra, but you know,
Speaker 2: it can be anything.
Speaker 1: In the book, we say you're not behind, You're becoming,
Speaker 1: And I just love that sentiment and that phrase because
Speaker 1: for so long I felt like I was behind. I
Speaker 1: wasn't married at the right time. I wasn't with kids
Speaker 1: at the right time, I wasn't making this amount of money,
Speaker 1: and I just had to go through everything I went
Speaker 1: through to become the woman I am today, which is
Speaker 1: a woman that I love and then I'm so proud
Speaker 1: to be And so for anyone listening, just remembering that
Speaker 1: that like every day you're becoming and it's the best
Speaker 1: part of the process.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 4: This one Chris has said many many times over the years,
Speaker 4: and it's just a constant reminder for me and really
Speaker 4: anyone moving through change. Knowing that you can take responsibility
Speaker 4: for everything you're bringing to a moment, and that is
Speaker 4: everywhere you go, there you are, which I know is
Speaker 4: not your.
Speaker 3: Quote, but you say it a lot.
Speaker 4: It's like it's a hard truth, but it's actually like
Speaker 4: a reassuring, liberating truth too, you know, to know that I,
Speaker 4: in every moment can take responsibility for what I'm bringing
Speaker 4: to this experience, whether.
Speaker 3: Good or not good.
Speaker 4: And you know, when I realized that through a lot
Speaker 4: of therapy, I was like, wow, girl, Okay, you know
Speaker 4: now you are in control quote quote quote control of
Speaker 4: your life in that way, you know, life is no
Speaker 4: longer happening to me. I can really see how it's
Speaker 4: happening for me and what I'm bringing to it as well.
Speaker 2: Everywhere you go there you will.
Speaker 1: I don't know who the original person is.
Speaker 3: I got to look that up.
Speaker 1: And when you said you're like, Chris did this quote,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what I know?
Speaker 3: I was so scared.
Speaker 1: I'm like, WHOA, I said, everything is. Yeah, honestly, thank
Speaker 1: you honey so much. Thank you for lost and found.
Speaker 4: Like I'm going to quote I think we should quote
Speaker 4: her as we talk about purpose on this journey because no,
Speaker 4: it's really.
Speaker 1: Now you're in You're in our book. In the Purpose
Speaker 1: chapter you talk about your journey.
Speaker 3: See that fall, I will show you. I can read it. Yes,
Speaker 3: can we read it?
Speaker 2: I love that? Wait, I really just like get through
Speaker 2: a lot of the book. I didn't see that.
Speaker 1: No, it's really far and it's like it's on the
Speaker 1: purpose part.
Speaker 2: I'm glad to go like the physical copy now, No,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: Same, it's the wrong cover, but you know it'll it'll
Speaker 3: it'll do. So I'll hear it is.
Speaker 2: I'm so honest.
Speaker 3: Okay, so god, Okay.
Speaker 4: In the book, we have passed the mics, which are
Speaker 4: just excerpts of wisdom from our podcast guests, and you
Speaker 4: were talking about purpose and just how you've explored it.
Speaker 3: So this is literally an excerpt from the conversation.
Speaker 4: Everything I've ended up doing has been a beautiful, magical,
Speaker 4: random interaction with someone that sparked something in me. I
Speaker 4: met an Ira, beta practitioner and chef, and was obsessed
Speaker 4: with this human. I was like, I need to study
Speaker 4: her and be around her. I became her assistant in
Speaker 4: cooking classes. I was just like, I just want to
Speaker 4: learn from you and absorb you in any way possible,
Speaker 4: So let me follow you around and shadow you. Helped
Speaker 4: her in her cooking classes, and then I went on
Speaker 4: to do a yoga teacher training, which had to do
Speaker 4: with me seeing that spark of joy and happiness and
Speaker 4: purpose and what they were doing. It's not that I
Speaker 4: want to be them, It's not that I want to
Speaker 4: have what they have. It's that I want to have
Speaker 4: that joy in myself, that contentment in what I have
Speaker 4: to be able to give to other people.
Speaker 3: It's such a beautiful.
Speaker 4: Feeling to know that for me, jealousy or dissatisfaction come
Speaker 4: when I don't understand who I am and I don't
Speaker 4: understand what I have to give to other people. Actually,
Speaker 4: we all just want to give to other people, and
Speaker 4: the problem is that when we don't know what we
Speaker 4: have to give, that's where the frustration came for me.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's probably for many people.
Speaker 3: Makes me want to cry. Oh, I go to make
Speaker 3: you want to cry thinking about.
Speaker 1: Little you just you know, shadowing the chef doing yoga
Speaker 1: teacher training.
Speaker 2: It was in New York, and it was amazing, what
Speaker 2: a momentous time it was for me, Like that was
Speaker 2: thank you for reading that. I actually forgot that we
Speaker 2: even had that conversation.
Speaker 3: Really really powerful, Like I just love that.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honey, this is so sweet. You're the best.
Speaker 2: I like wish you all the best with everything that
Speaker 2: you're doing. You guys have always been such a light
Speaker 2: on my Instagram feed every time I see you both,
Speaker 2: and I really feel like you're special in the sense
Speaker 2: that you really walk and you feel everything that you share.
Speaker 2: So thank you.
Speaker 3: That means so much. We love you. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's such an honor and to connect with your community
Speaker 1: and just in any way feels so good. And when
Speaker 1: we got this, we were like, yeah, you give you their girl.
Speaker 1: We're excited for them to get the book Almost Thirty,
Speaker 1: which is out. It's a definitive guide to a life
Speaker 1: you love for this next decade and beyond. So anything
Speaker 1: that we talked about today we have in the book,
Speaker 1: which you know, your amazing husband did a little blurb for.
Speaker 2: Please go out and get the book, like it's going
Speaker 2: to be not just for your almost thirties, but it's
Speaker 2: going to be a life guide for you also.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys, Thank you guys. The best. Bye,