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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and klick

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air. Suck. We're going to read that one

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Speaker 1: right now. Buckle, lapot, hold on tight. We got it

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Speaker 1: for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you

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Speaker 1: enough you subject. If my wife hates her, I have

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Speaker 1: to hate her too, Dear Stephen Shirley, my wife had

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Speaker 1: a friend that she was friends with for many years,

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Speaker 1: and she stopped being her friend because a non credible

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Speaker 1: person told my wife that her friend was talking about her.

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Speaker 1: My wife fell out with her friend, and since then

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Speaker 1: she talks bad about the friend and she gets mad

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Speaker 1: if I tell her what she's saying is not true.

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Speaker 1: I learned quickly to take my wife's side, and I

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Speaker 1: even added a few choice words about the old friend,

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Speaker 1: so my wife would think I was on her side,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't. And I'm sick of having to take

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Speaker 1: sides whenever my wife gets something twisted up and starts

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Speaker 1: hating on somebody. I don't want to create a conflict

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Speaker 1: in our marriage or with my wife's family, because they

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Speaker 1: have convinced my wife that is, if she hates someone,

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Speaker 1: I should hate that person too. This happens a lot

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Speaker 1: with my wife. She and another young lady exchange words,

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Speaker 1: and yet again my wife was wrong. As usual, I

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Speaker 1: took her side because she is my wife. Now I

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Speaker 1: can't associate with a young lady or her husband. I

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Speaker 1: had to text the young lady's husband and tell him

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Speaker 1: that I'm just trying to keep the peace in my house,

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Speaker 1: and he understood. My wife and her family believe that

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Speaker 1: if I go against her, even when she is wrong,

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Speaker 1: then I'm not being faithful. There have been a few

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Speaker 1: more instances of her ignorant ways. I am thirty two

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Speaker 1: and my wife is twenty nine, and I told her

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Speaker 1: that she is too old to be acting like this.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I have been married for two years,

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Speaker 1: but she was not like this at first. I'm tired

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Speaker 1: of taking her side when I know she's wrong, and

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Speaker 1: I'm fed up with the daily conversation about who she

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Speaker 1: doesn't like and who she stops speaking to. I need

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Speaker 1: your advice on how to fix this. Okay, listen, listen, listen. Okay,

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Speaker 1: You cannot go against your wife. You can't do that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: right now, you're doing the right thing. You're doing the

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Speaker 1: right thing. You tried that one time and it didn't

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Speaker 1: work out to you. You have to present a united front,

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Speaker 1: you know, with WIFEE. You have to do that. Otherwise

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Speaker 1: you're gonna sound like you're on the other woman's side,

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Speaker 1: and that's a no no. In a marriage. You have

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Speaker 1: to be supportive because, like you say, you're trying to

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Speaker 1: keep peace in your house. Okay, peace is priceless. I

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Speaker 1: think we all know that. We're all old enough to

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Speaker 1: know that piece is priceless, especially in the home. That's

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Speaker 1: where you go to get away from all the drama

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Speaker 1: and all the negativity and everything. You go to the

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Speaker 1: solace and comfort and peace of your home. Nothing is

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Speaker 1: worth losing that, not anything, okay, And this is one

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Speaker 1: problem in your marriage. I think the other issue you

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Speaker 1: pointed out is that your wife sounds really negative. She

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Speaker 1: sounds petty, she sounds gossipy when she's just you know,

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Speaker 1: around the house talking about everyone, and that's what's getting

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Speaker 1: on your nerve. You don't like that. So unless you

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Speaker 1: guys can fix this, your marriage is going to be

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Speaker 1: in trouble your two year marriage. You guys have to

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Speaker 1: have a conversation. You know, you can do these things

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Speaker 1: in your house behind closed doors with your wife when

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Speaker 1: you're not in front of other people, But when you're

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Speaker 1: in front of people, you got to present yourselves as

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Speaker 1: one behind closed doors. Like I said, you have to

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Speaker 1: be able to communicate. You gotta let her know what

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Speaker 1: you're thinking. You know, you got to do it in

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Speaker 1: a nice way, though, so she won't go in on you,

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Speaker 1: because she will if she thinks you're against her and

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Speaker 1: not supportive of her. So you know, that's when you know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you other than try

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Speaker 1: it at home when you guys are by yourself, husband

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Speaker 1: and wife. Okay, not in front of other people, not

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Speaker 1: in front of the family, but in front of people.

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Speaker 1: Do not forever let your wife think you're going against

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Speaker 1: her and supporting someone else. Steve, I agree with Shirley

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Speaker 1: about this letter in terms of not disagreeing with your

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Speaker 1: wife in front of other people, But the rest of

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Speaker 1: it I completely disagree with because this is no way

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Speaker 1: for this man to have to live. This is an

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable way to live. Man, walking around your own house

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Speaker 1: on eggshells if you don't agree with your spouse, so

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Speaker 1: now you have to in order to get along. You

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Speaker 1: got to go alone. Even if it's something you completely

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Speaker 1: disagree agree with, you got to go along with that. Ah,

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Speaker 1: it's not a fun existence. Man. You might as well

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Speaker 1: get ready. You ain't gonna have no damn friends who

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Speaker 1: First of all, your wife is a negative person. Negative

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Speaker 1: people attract negative comments. That's why everybody come to her.

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Speaker 1: So the first thing that broke her and her girlfriend

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Speaker 1: up in the first place was an unreliable source came

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Speaker 1: to her with some negative about her girl, some negative

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Speaker 1: now without researching it, checking it out. Negative people attract

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Speaker 1: negative thoughts. Negative people whoever it is, brought this to

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Speaker 1: your wife. She accepted it, not you and your girl. Lad.

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Speaker 1: Now you had to call the dude who you cool

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Speaker 1: wouldn't go Hey, man, I'm just trying to keep peace

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Speaker 1: in my house. And he understood rule as a man

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Speaker 1: who's married, don't start no fires in your own house. House.

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Speaker 1: And what I really hate is when another dude try

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Speaker 1: to come in my space and create a fire at

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Speaker 1: my house. What you over in striking matching full pardner

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Speaker 1: And you know he didn't have to learn to take

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Speaker 1: his wife's side, which I understand, and Shirley's right, you

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Speaker 1: gotta take your wife's side or be no peace in

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Speaker 1: the house. But I got news for you. In front

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Speaker 1: of him. It's not no peace in his house anyway,

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Speaker 1: even when he go along with hub it's no peace.

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Speaker 1: You know why? Hang on, Steve, negative person, Yeah, hang on,

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Speaker 1: hang on. We'll get part two of your response coming

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Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Subject of

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter, if my wife hates her, I have

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Speaker 1: to hate her too. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters subject if my wife hates her,

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Speaker 1: I have to hate her too. This dude is in

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Speaker 1: a horrible position, man, because he's married to a negative

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Speaker 1: woman who falls out all the time with a lot

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Speaker 1: of people. And if he hates a woman, if she

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Speaker 1: hates a woman, he requires this she does. He said.

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Speaker 1: He quickly learned to take his wife's side, and then

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Speaker 1: even when the unreliable source told his wife that her

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Speaker 1: best friend was talking about her, and she believed it.

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Speaker 1: Because negative people go along with anything that's negative. They

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Speaker 1: feed off of him. So you didn't add a few

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Speaker 1: quick choice words about the old friend. So your wife

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Speaker 1: would thank you on her side, but he ain't, and

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Speaker 1: he said he's sick of having to take sides. Whatever

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Speaker 1: my wife gets something twisted up and starts hating on somebody. Now,

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Speaker 1: he don't want to create the conflict in the marriage

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Speaker 1: with the wife or the family. Now check this out.

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Speaker 1: The girl's family then told her that if she hates somebody,

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Speaker 1: her husband got to go along with it too. And

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Speaker 1: then he said that this happens a lot with my wife.

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Speaker 1: So now let's go over this. Every time there's a

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Speaker 1: negative happening or a negative story, the one person that's

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Speaker 1: always involved in it is your wife. What all the time?

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Speaker 1: Then dog gets her? All right? She and another lady

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Speaker 1: exchange words, and yet again your wife was wrong. Then

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Speaker 1: you took her side because she your girl. Now you

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Speaker 1: can't assocated with a lady or her husband. My wife,

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Speaker 1: your his wife family believes that if he goes against

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Speaker 1: her when she's wrong, then I'm not being faithful. All right,

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Speaker 1: young man, let me say something to you. I was

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Speaker 1: talking with Tommy Nelm off the air. You have to

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Speaker 1: say something about this because this is gonna get out

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Speaker 1: of hand, man, And I'm gonna tell you, bro, just

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Speaker 1: ain't no way to live. It's hard for a man

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Speaker 1: to walk around into his house living on eggshells, to

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Speaker 1: keep peace in a place that ain't peaceful. Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: piece are you keeping? I mean? She mad anyway, And

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Speaker 1: if you ain't mad, you come over where you don't

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Speaker 1: even want to be mad. She always got it in

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Speaker 1: for somebody. Man. Today, Man, that's crazy, y'all be mad

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Speaker 1: two years she wasn't like this at first. I'm tired

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Speaker 1: of taking her side when I know she wrong, and

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Speaker 1: I'm fed up with the daily conversation about who she

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Speaker 1: don't like and who she to stop speaking to. That's crazy, man.

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Speaker 1: I need your advice on how to fix this. The

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Speaker 1: only fix is to set her down and tell her

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Speaker 1: she wrong and get her to understand her ways. Now,

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Speaker 1: what's gonna happen? Is she gonna snap on you? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna go through this phase. If my family was right,

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Speaker 1: they told me you ain't faithful because you don't take

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Speaker 1: my side. Surely even said you got to take her side.

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Speaker 1: But it's hard to take somebody side that's wrong all

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Speaker 1: the time. Damn, I just meant in front of people,

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Speaker 1: not at the house. Well, well you didn't say that.

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Speaker 1: She did say in front of people. So I think

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Speaker 1: the general consistency is you're gonna have to get her

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Speaker 1: off to the side and you got to say, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: just ain't working, or you got to get a mediate

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Speaker 1: or something. This marriage ain't gonna work. Man. Don't nobody

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Speaker 1: want to come home with this negativity every day? Nobody?

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Speaker 1: Hey man, let me tell you something. Man, I know

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Speaker 1: I've been in that before and that that's not a

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Speaker 1: fun way to live. Brother, right, yeah, Man, when you

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Speaker 1: don't have peace in the house, brother, the Bible saying

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Speaker 1: it is better to live on the corner of a

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Speaker 1: roof of the house than the inside with the crawl

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Speaker 1: some woman. That's a scripture. Man, Hey man, when your

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Speaker 1: wife ain't happy, it's a hard house to live in. Man,

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Speaker 1: make us happy, keep us No, no, no, no, you've

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Speaker 1: been on the roof of your house. Man, Jesus knew,

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Speaker 1: and he wouldn't even married. He knew. He knew. Man,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you something. Tell me I would have

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Speaker 1: been on the roof of the house, in the garage

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Speaker 1: parked outside. I would sometimes I wouldn't even come up

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Speaker 1: in the yard. I ain't even want to see my

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Speaker 1: car pull up. Yeah, because the house is where you

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Speaker 1: go to get peace, man, to lock out the world.

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Speaker 1: Surely when you go home and there is no peace

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Speaker 1: and you've been out here at war all day long. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's an ugly ass house to go into a home

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Speaker 1: no more? Yeah, yeah it is now. Hey man, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you what I used to do. Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: would come into town when I was married before, I

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Speaker 1: just go get a hotel room and say I was

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Speaker 1: coming in tomorrow and just go sit in the hotel room.

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Speaker 1: Hey dog, watch TV, take a shine room service, Just

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Speaker 1: get myself a day to get ready for I go

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Speaker 1: around the corner. Piece is priceless. It's priceless. Yeah, you would.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't done something. I wouldn't leave it before I

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Speaker 1: would have to leave. I would leave it before I

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Speaker 1: would have to leave a little three days early. Baby,

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Speaker 1: gotta gotta go. Sit up, mama. I had a line

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Speaker 1: to said, I got a comedy show. You're dropped off

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Speaker 1: at the airport. He pull off and I get picked

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Speaker 1: up in baggage. Claim. I'm not going nowhere. I just

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Speaker 1: want to be out that house. But if it's like that,

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Speaker 1: those people just aren't happy, it's nothing you can do

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Speaker 1: to make it. Well, it's not And you're right, and

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Speaker 1: and you can't make a person happy, and it's not

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Speaker 1: your job, and if you try to make it your job,

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Speaker 1: you're in for a big disappointment. Yeah right, Steve, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget to check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up

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Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour. It's that time again.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Junior has a new poem and we'll hear

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Speaker 1: it right after this. Wow, you're listening to this Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show