Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer. Yes, here's NICKI Here. I am Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer, It's Nicki Glazer podcast. Hey. No, uh, hey,
Speaker 1: how are you going? Why do I feel like it's
Speaker 1: been so long since I've seen you? It feels like
Speaker 1: forever because it's been three weeks since yesterday morning? In
Speaker 1: my world is that when I saw you last was
Speaker 1: yesterday morning. Yeah, we did our pod after a day
Speaker 1: of not doing it and then a couple of days
Speaker 1: not having a pod together. Right that the the can
Speaker 1: I keep saying Cabo Cancoon trip was it was weird
Speaker 1: to not have you. It was um Yet somehow someone
Speaker 1: wrote me and said, oh, you know they were talking
Speaker 1: about the live podcast. No, No, you wrote me and
Speaker 1: said you listened to the I was like, who wrote me?
Speaker 1: I get best. He's confused with Violet Gitimate, people I
Speaker 1: know associate with the show. You had written me and
Speaker 1: said that you've listened to the Cancoon Show and that
Speaker 1: you enjoyed it so good. Oh good, I'm so glad
Speaker 1: to hear that, because, honestly, no clue what it was
Speaker 1: like from our end. Yeah, it's always different. I had
Speaker 1: fun experiencing it live from our perspective and then I actually,
Speaker 1: because I didn't attend, I had no idea what happened.
Speaker 1: I got to listen to it as a bestie would.
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to put this out. Okay, good,
Speaker 1: we'll look forward to that on Thanksgiving. That will be UM.
Speaker 1: The live episode we did from Cancun at the Just
Speaker 1: for Last Escapes weekend, which was just a bunch of
Speaker 1: tons of comedy fans got UM tickets like all inclusive
Speaker 1: resort and you just get to go see comedy shows
Speaker 1: all weekend. It was. It was really fun. I wish
Speaker 1: I would have been able to like have more fun fun,
Speaker 1: but it was a lot of work fun. I loved
Speaker 1: seeing all the besties tag you in their Instagram posts
Speaker 1: and the videos from the goddamn Comedy Jam was I mean,
Speaker 1: that was That was insane, dude, that was for you.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it was going to be the best
Speaker 1: feeling I've ever felt in my life. It was like, um,
Speaker 1: because the goddamn Comedy Jam is the thing that's been
Speaker 1: going on for ages. It was started by UH comedian
Speaker 1: josh Adam Myers, whose middle whose uh initials are Jam.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he knows that but he started
Speaker 1: the goddamn comedy jam, which is comedians do like a
Speaker 1: quick set, and then they performed with an amazing band
Speaker 1: of these really just you know l A musicians who
Speaker 1: are probably like studio musician guys that are just incredible
Speaker 1: live performers each just I was up there and got
Speaker 1: to like do the the last song with everyone, and
Speaker 1: that gave me the opportunity to kind of look around
Speaker 1: me and admire, like how great these guys are at
Speaker 1: playing music and um, and how just what great performers
Speaker 1: they are while they're shredding, which I didn't know if
Speaker 1: you could say shredding for a bass player, but you can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was given permission to say that he shredded totally
Speaker 1: and um. But yeah, I was like, I went to
Speaker 1: rehearsal right after the podcast and we were rehearsing this
Speaker 1: space and I sang I played guitar, and they had
Speaker 1: a guitar for me there, and I profusely apologized for
Speaker 1: my lack of skill. And they're all these guys. I've
Speaker 1: I've done Blank Space with them. I think it's like
Speaker 1: my fourth or fifth time singing it. They always do
Speaker 1: different comedy um festivals and They're always a fun show
Speaker 1: to jump on in addition to your stand up shows
Speaker 1: at night, and everyone parties and like the whole festival
Speaker 1: comes together for these shows, and it's so fun because
Speaker 1: whether or not you can sing, the band is so
Speaker 1: incredible that it makes you feel like a rock star
Speaker 1: and you sound like one too, and we I always
Speaker 1: sang blank space and I never really like um. I
Speaker 1: never played guitar, and I asked them if I could,
Speaker 1: and they were very gracious to let me and drown
Speaker 1: me out well enough that you couldn't hear anything. But
Speaker 1: I realized that if you have a big band with you,
Speaker 1: like you don't need to actually play. You can just
Speaker 1: like I almost air guitard it because people were like
Speaker 1: you seemed like you, like you sounded so good, and
Speaker 1: I'm like no, no, no, I every time I would
Speaker 1: funk up a chord like where my because I had
Speaker 1: I had um what are they called not gels but
Speaker 1: dips dip nails, you know, when you dip them in
Speaker 1: and their powder dip and they're just like little bubbly
Speaker 1: bubble like little um caps on your like Eminem's on
Speaker 1: your fingernails, like they have Like it's hard to play
Speaker 1: guitar with them, But they just dry faster than gels.
Speaker 1: They don't rip my fingernails apart as much as gels,
Speaker 1: and so well, gels dry the fastest because there's no
Speaker 1: dry but they just I just tend to get those instead,
Speaker 1: even though these times they truly rip my fingers apart
Speaker 1: and I lost a lair of fingernail. But um, I
Speaker 1: just my fingering on the neck of the guitar was
Speaker 1: kind of sloppy, and every time I knew it wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna be a good sounding chord, I would just like
Speaker 1: mute it with my palm so like I just would
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't make a bad note. I would just
Speaker 1: not play. And I realized I adapted in that moment,
Speaker 1: there was like there was it was the only time
Speaker 1: that I would ever have learned to do that, because
Speaker 1: generally when I played guitar live, there isn't a band
Speaker 1: to carry me if I want to just mute it
Speaker 1: and make it sound like non existent. Um. And it's
Speaker 1: almost like with the singer going like they don't want
Speaker 1: to hit a high note. They like put the microphone
Speaker 1: out to the crowd and have them hit it for them. Um.
Speaker 1: But I. I loved it so much. It was so
Speaker 1: funny because that was the night that I found out
Speaker 1: my aunt died, which is, um, thank you so much
Speaker 1: to everyone who wrote something to me, or wrote a
Speaker 1: comment or just even thought of me. That is so
Speaker 1: sweet because I mean, it's my aunt. It's not my mom,
Speaker 1: it's not my dad's, not my sister's, not my immediate family,
Speaker 1: but um, it was my aunt Lynn, And we found
Speaker 1: I found out like right after I had masturbated. I
Speaker 1: like put my phone back on, like not midnight mode,
Speaker 1: you know, a little moon that you put it on
Speaker 1: so you don't find out people die while you're mid
Speaker 1: jerk um from your dad. You don't get a text
Speaker 1: from your dad. That's generally why I don't do it.
Speaker 1: But I just like finished, and I'm still kind of
Speaker 1: in my own like computer open, slowly loading gifts of
Speaker 1: just just horrible things happening to women and a little
Speaker 1: did I know there was a horrible thing happening to
Speaker 1: a woman in Cincinnati because my aunt died and my dad.
Speaker 1: I'm like naked with my vibrators in bed, and I'm
Speaker 1: breed of texts that you know, Lynn passed away, And
Speaker 1: I was like oh God, and we we knew it
Speaker 1: was coming, and she was. She lost her son, her
Speaker 1: only son, Um j D, who was like my brother
Speaker 1: growing up. Um. He died at the age of thirty
Speaker 1: and like two thousand, I want to say, fourteen. And
Speaker 1: so it's been seven years of her just hating life
Speaker 1: because her son died. And so every time we would
Speaker 1: talk to her, I mean, she would have moments where
Speaker 1: her spirit was kind of did but she was just
Speaker 1: wanting to die really badly, which is so sad. Um.
Speaker 1: That's the reason I don't want to have kids is
Speaker 1: because if something happens to one of them, then you're
Speaker 1: dead or you just don't want to exist anymore. That
Speaker 1: doesn't have to happen that way, but generally, like you
Speaker 1: don't sometimes don't have a choice, and that's the way
Speaker 1: she was for like seven years, just didn't. She was
Speaker 1: a huge supporter of mine and would always write me
Speaker 1: really nice things, but it was very sad to see
Speaker 1: how much she missed my cousin j D and would
Speaker 1: like write to him on Facebook late at night and
Speaker 1: like you would just see her messages like appear on
Speaker 1: his wall of her like communicating with him, and honestly
Speaker 1: thank God for that. I think that sometimes people could
Speaker 1: roll their eyes about people posting about or either like
Speaker 1: two dead people like writing comments on their posts after
Speaker 1: they've died, or even writing a post about a person
Speaker 1: they lost and kind of writing to them in it.
Speaker 1: You can just go, oh, this person is straighting to
Speaker 1: get attention, like more like, don't put it, make it public.
Speaker 1: I don't know. The second I found out Lyndae, I
Speaker 1: was just like I need I don't She was so
Speaker 1: alone when she died, Like I just want other people
Speaker 1: to know she existed and was a person who lived
Speaker 1: that was like vibrant and amazing and just just helped me.
Speaker 1: I'm like very grateful that Instagram is out there, even
Speaker 1: though there's so much of it that sucks. And you
Speaker 1: can roll your eyes at people posting things like this
Speaker 1: because I'm like, Okay, if I post about my aunt,
Speaker 1: that means I have to post about my uncle. I
Speaker 1: have to, like, and that's not the rule or that people.
Speaker 1: I was like, people are gonna un follow me because
Speaker 1: if they see me posting about my aunt, they're gonna
Speaker 1: go like, okay, we have to every person Nickie's life
Speaker 1: who dies, we're gonna get like one of these sad
Speaker 1: posts and it's like maybe, but in that moment, it
Speaker 1: was just what I needed. Um two, it's just to
Speaker 1: write something about her and I feel like she her name,
Speaker 1: like like some other people knew of her, and like
Speaker 1: it was so nice to send that to my dad
Speaker 1: and who that's his his sister, his only sister, and
Speaker 1: for him to read all the things that you guys
Speaker 1: wrote underneath that, like I know, really touched him. And
Speaker 1: so it was just like it was just a nice
Speaker 1: way to like grieve. No what have you. I know
Speaker 1: you've taken to Instagram in the past for like when
Speaker 1: you lost Bruno, your dog, and just did it did
Speaker 1: help you to How did did you find yourself doing
Speaker 1: things that maybe are out of character? You did them?
Speaker 1: You yeah, yeah, yeah, that was very much out of character.
Speaker 1: But it was so helpful to me because some of
Speaker 1: the messages that I got were so simple but very heartfelt,
Speaker 1: and it was just something that really helped me. And
Speaker 1: I was I was really surprised by how much a
Speaker 1: stranger's comfort helped me, like in that moment, and I
Speaker 1: think that you were going through the same thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: that was it. It was like even like heart emojis
Speaker 1: from someone I've never heard of, like the fact that
Speaker 1: someone took the time to go heart like with their
Speaker 1: thumb boom boom boom boom send, Like that was effort
Speaker 1: put towards me to make me feel special and loved
Speaker 1: and supported, and even that little second like matters and um,
Speaker 1: all those comments like really touched me. And then it
Speaker 1: was kind of embarrassing because like I posted about it,
Speaker 1: I did the podcast in the morning, met everyone at
Speaker 1: the festival, like I was having so much fun, and
Speaker 1: then went to go take a nap masturbate get ready
Speaker 1: for the show that night. And then I went back
Speaker 1: out and everyone had read my post and I was
Speaker 1: and everyone's just like Nikki, I'm so sorry, and I
Speaker 1: hate like too much, like Nikki, I'm so sorry. Like
Speaker 1: I didn't want I didn't even I didn't think I
Speaker 1: wanted that, And in person, it's just it's almost too
Speaker 1: much for me. And I don't think I would have
Speaker 1: told anyone if I didn't have Instagram, um, or maybe
Speaker 1: just fewer people, but a lot of people came up
Speaker 1: to me and it was just like so sweet that
Speaker 1: people say kind things when you lose someone. It's just
Speaker 1: humans can be so caught, like just make you feel
Speaker 1: so good. And I performed that night and I did
Speaker 1: a show and I didn't think it was affecting me.
Speaker 1: I truly was just like you know what, I've known
Speaker 1: Lynn was going to die for a while. I was
Speaker 1: ready for this. She can't live forever. She's wanted to
Speaker 1: die for seven years. She wasn't doing well, but there
Speaker 1: was like almost speculation that she might have taken her life.
Speaker 1: And my dad was like, it's not confirmed yet whether
Speaker 1: or not. And although the Corners report says it was
Speaker 1: natural causes, like you know, we we don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of times suicide is just
Speaker 1: listed as like they just you know, he's like the talks,
Speaker 1: you know, they ruled out drugs, And I'm like, why
Speaker 1: does Britney Murphy's toxicology results take two months? Yet my
Speaker 1: aunts took two hours? Like, I don't think they did
Speaker 1: all the tests that they could do. Like whenever celebrity dies,
Speaker 1: I remember Anthony Bourdaine's his toxicology results took months to
Speaker 1: get back what was in his system. So how can
Speaker 1: you rule out what was in my aunt's system? Um?
Speaker 1: And natural causes? What does that even mean anymore. Like
Speaker 1: she smoked cigarettes forever, she drank a ton. She was
Speaker 1: such a fun wild wolf, like she was so opinionated,
Speaker 1: so sassy and brassy. Used to be like, Nikki, you
Speaker 1: are never going to find a man to love you
Speaker 1: with the way you eat. No, she'd go, you're never
Speaker 1: gonna get dates. And I used to be like, I
Speaker 1: don't want dates, like I didn't like boys when I
Speaker 1: was a kid. So I would be like, fine, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna keep eating with my mouth open. And she used
Speaker 1: to say, but she was the first person I've told
Speaker 1: this before who was like, Nikki just said the funniest thing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, get in here, because she was she
Speaker 1: was aunt line to me, and she hates the bug ants.
Speaker 1: She's always hated ants and terrified of them. And I
Speaker 1: was like, but you're an aunt and she was like,
Speaker 1: that is the funniest goddamn thing I have. Get out
Speaker 1: of here, Dick. Let's do what Nicky just said. One time.
Speaker 1: I used to go to Catholic school when I was
Speaker 1: kindergarten first grade, or I didn't go to kindergard but no,
Speaker 1: I didn't go I didn't go pre school, kindergarten, first grade.
Speaker 1: I went to Catholic school and then I transferred to
Speaker 1: public once I moved to St. Louis Um and I
Speaker 1: remember my aunt Lynn asked me, like what my parents
Speaker 1: religion was, or maybe she overheard me telling one of
Speaker 1: the kids that we were playing with. They were like,
Speaker 1: I just knew that when I went to Catholic school,
Speaker 1: I was Catholic. So I was like, oh, my parents
Speaker 1: were public. Now I thought that was a religion, and
Speaker 1: she goes, that is not funniest goddamn. And I once
Speaker 1: saw her. She was the first person I ever I'll
Speaker 1: put a tamp on in. It was on a speedboat
Speaker 1: in Michigan. She just pulled her suit to the side
Speaker 1: and shoved one up in front of everyone. She was gorgeous.
Speaker 1: She always took credit credit for everything, everything good about me.
Speaker 1: She would take credit for my Mom always says that
Speaker 1: Lynn would be like, Nikki has my legs, Nikki's got
Speaker 1: my sense of humor. You know she got that from me.
Speaker 1: Nikki got her hair from me. Nikki like anytime anything
Speaker 1: was good about me, it was. Which isn't possible to
Speaker 1: get any trait from your aunt. It's like an offshoot
Speaker 1: that you literally can't get anything from because I mean
Speaker 1: maybe I got it from the same place she got it,
Speaker 1: which was my grandma Grandpa. But I don't get anything
Speaker 1: from my aunt But my mom used to just sit
Speaker 1: there like what it. I contributed nothing to this child.
Speaker 1: And then Um. The most famous story of my aunt Land,
Speaker 1: and this is funny but also kind of tragic, was
Speaker 1: she's a big drinker and my parents used to like
Speaker 1: leave us. J D was like my best friend growing up.
Speaker 1: He died when he was thirty from alcohol related um
Speaker 1: stuff and again inconclusive if he took his own life
Speaker 1: or not, but you know whether or not, he was
Speaker 1: just you know, uh, just scacame to anxiety and depression
Speaker 1: and alcohol and super tragic. But he was just like
Speaker 1: the nicest guy. And I always tell Andrew that he
Speaker 1: really reminds me of j D. Like the way that
Speaker 1: we get along was the way that j j D
Speaker 1: and I got along, except that j D was like
Speaker 1: an older brother to me. Looked up to him a lot,
Speaker 1: and we just hung out my whole childhood. He was
Speaker 1: like my he was my brother. Um, and we used
Speaker 1: to go over to my aunt Land's house and we
Speaker 1: used to quote unquote stay up all night that was
Speaker 1: our thing. We would wake up in the middle of
Speaker 1: we'd get up in the middle of the night, which
Speaker 1: was probably and we'd like go out and watch TV
Speaker 1: and watch Pavis and butt Head and singled out and
Speaker 1: like just you know MTV whatever it was on, or
Speaker 1: Comedy Central. Um, what's the one where they make fun
Speaker 1: of they sit in the chairs and then you see
Speaker 1: their silhouettes and they make fun. Uh no, it's um man,
Speaker 1: I know, Mstery Science Theater. Throstery Science Theater. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: So we used to watch that, and but we used
Speaker 1: to always go over to my Antlands and my aunt
Speaker 1: would just like drink a lot and be on the
Speaker 1: phone with her friends and then like pass out drunk,
Speaker 1: like in a room. And then we were just like
Speaker 1: eating candy and hanging out and having so much fun.
Speaker 1: And one night there was a tornado in Cincinnati and
Speaker 1: the sky got really it got really bright outside all
Speaker 1: of a sudden nighttime it was like even five, and
Speaker 1: it became like daytime and the sky was green and
Speaker 1: it was spooky, and then sirens started going off and
Speaker 1: we were like what the fuck, And so we ran
Speaker 1: into my Lyn's room and she's and we're like Lynn,
Speaker 1: like like shaking or like what do we do there's
Speaker 1: a tornado and she just kept going it all pass,
Speaker 1: it all pass, and we were just like what the
Speaker 1: funk like laying on her stomach in this water bed,
Speaker 1: just like it all passed. And I remember the next
Speaker 1: day telling my parents about that, and they thought it
Speaker 1: was so funny because I mean, it's just like the
Speaker 1: most like you're on your own, it'll pass, and like, yes,
Speaker 1: it will like over us, like it will pass. She's
Speaker 1: not wrong. But in the end, I just realized, like
Speaker 1: I guess I could have given her the same advice
Speaker 1: of like the pain she felt about my cousin, like
Speaker 1: it will pass. And now she's like she's out of pain.
Speaker 1: We're all we all feel like a sense of relief
Speaker 1: that she's out of the misery she was in after
Speaker 1: he passed away. But I will say that doing the
Speaker 1: cut goddamn comedy jam being on stage that night was
Speaker 1: not the best thing for me because being able to talk,
Speaker 1: I just like went to some dark places and I
Speaker 1: was realized I was a lot sadder and like angry
Speaker 1: and just like bummed out. I was talking about how
Speaker 1: like in my family, I feel like sometimes week wek
Speaker 1: if it's suicide in my like or mental illness in
Speaker 1: the past, especially like with my dad's dad, and like
Speaker 1: just deaths that were kind of like that happened pretty young.
Speaker 1: Was that really just like a heart attack? Or like
Speaker 1: what was that pills? Was that an overdose? Like was
Speaker 1: that suicide? I would like to know about mental illness
Speaker 1: in my family so that when I have weird thoughts
Speaker 1: or have my own struggles that I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this isn't my fault. This is a thing, this is
Speaker 1: an illness, and it it makes it so I can
Speaker 1: I don't feel it would just be like a load
Speaker 1: off to know that this is just not my fault,
Speaker 1: you know. And so I think, uh, I was kind
Speaker 1: of thinking I was just sad that my aunt probably
Speaker 1: had something to do with her own death. She definitely did,
Speaker 1: because she was such an addict and her health was
Speaker 1: just terrible and she wanted to go. But like I was,
Speaker 1: I was trying trying kind of haphazardly to make a
Speaker 1: joke about like it's as if someone having the same
Speaker 1: brain as my aunt and being like, no, she just
Speaker 1: tried of natural causes, don't look into it. It's the
Speaker 1: same as like having a car that has an engine
Speaker 1: that explodes. Eventually you recall the car and you contact
Speaker 1: people that have the same car, and you go, hey,
Speaker 1: by the way, your engine might explode, do you want
Speaker 1: to like take extra precaution, you don't go. It was
Speaker 1: that was just like because that car drove in that
Speaker 1: area that you don't even go to, so don't worry
Speaker 1: about it. Like I want to make sure my brain
Speaker 1: doesn't fucking explode someday. It's nice to have these things
Speaker 1: and to talk about the root causes so that you
Speaker 1: can prevent it. But I will say that going on
Speaker 1: stage at night after I had a set that was
Speaker 1: like a little erratic, but for good reason. I performed
Speaker 1: the goddamn comedy jam and Andrew was filming me during
Speaker 1: it and he said he's never seen me look so happy,
Speaker 1: And that's what so many people wrote me, were like,
Speaker 1: you were just like the happiest we've ever seen you.
Speaker 1: And I truly like I what I love singing and
Speaker 1: perform and playing guitar at the same time with a
Speaker 1: band and having a crowd sing the lyrics to to
Speaker 1: blank Space. It was the best feeling I've ever felt.
Speaker 1: It was like it truly was as someone who's performed
Speaker 1: in every single way possible, being on stage with other
Speaker 1: people and having the audience also like participating. It was
Speaker 1: just it was just transcendent. It was awesome. It's like
Speaker 1: it taught me something about myself. I need more of it.
Speaker 1: So let's get Andrew in here to hear his perspective. Andrew,
Speaker 1: What up? Drew? I was just talking about goddamn comedy
Speaker 1: jam and um how fun it was. And you you
Speaker 1: you got me to stick around later too, because I
Speaker 1: was going to go back after because Andrew Tantino went
Speaker 1: to bed after Uh. I went up first, and he
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna go back, and I'm like, I'll
Speaker 1: go back to and then you were like I'm gonna stay,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm gonna stay, and thank god we
Speaker 1: did because we got to go up at the end
Speaker 1: and sing together. I did not expect to go up
Speaker 1: in this basis or basis or no. No. The keyboard
Speaker 1: is started yelling. He goes, get to get up there,
Speaker 1: and I go, no, I'm good, dude, this is her thing.
Speaker 1: He goes, get the fuck up. Everyone is Jeffrey's a
Speaker 1: j farroh. Every comedian that had done a set at
Speaker 1: the end, goes up on stage with Josh ad of
Speaker 1: Meyers in the band and we sing um guns and roses.
Speaker 1: What was the song, saying she's got a smile that
Speaker 1: it seems that Michelle what I think it's called My Michelle?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, No, no, no, Sweet out of Mine? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: sweet child of Mine? Okay, yeah, My Michelle was like
Speaker 1: a French Michelle my belt. I could see that. I
Speaker 1: almost let it slide because I go, I don't know
Speaker 1: the name. Sometimes you ever know when's songs like I Know,
Speaker 1: but that's so far from the song we Will Rock You,
Speaker 1: or like I'm Blue it and it's like it's like
Speaker 1: Addison's Lie, and you're like, why would it be called
Speaker 1: Addison's Lie? Just call it blue abadid abada. There's plenty
Speaker 1: of songs, so I just go, guess that's Michelle's song
Speaker 1: or whatever she said they have a song called My Michelle.
Speaker 1: I'm not crazy. You're not crazy. I didn't think you
Speaker 1: were sorry and reacted, but did you You wanted to
Speaker 1: stage dive and I was like, no, no, no, well
Speaker 1: josh I ad Admires staged over, and then Jim Jeffries,
Speaker 1: who I gotta say it was one of before I
Speaker 1: started stand up. I was probably the biggest fan of his,
Speaker 1: and it was funny. I told him. I was like,
Speaker 1: I saw you had the four larder improv like twelve
Speaker 1: years ago. He's like, that's probably when I just moved here,
Speaker 1: and I was like all right, and I was like
Speaker 1: the whole conversation like I wasn't. I was like trying
Speaker 1: to like navigate it where I was in fan boy
Speaker 1: boy yeah, but like wow, being like I actually like, really,
Speaker 1: you know you were a comic. I guess yes, yes,
Speaker 1: because I was introduced earlier in the day, but uh yeah, anyhow,
Speaker 1: but yeah, So it was pretty surreal just dancing singing
Speaker 1: the guns next to Jim Jeffreys. Jim and I was like,
Speaker 1: we jump in and he's like, he puts the he
Speaker 1: was like putting the mic. Dude, Jim's jumping, I'm jumping
Speaker 1: and then he's like, no, I'll break my fucking neck.
Speaker 1: He told me afterwards it was like I think I
Speaker 1: might have thought I was going to because I moved
Speaker 1: my phone to my back pocket or like he was like,
Speaker 1: I definitely considered it, because he then asked me, are
Speaker 1: you going to do it? And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to kick anyone in the foot
Speaker 1: in the head with my shoe. Plus he would have
Speaker 1: got groped, Let's be honest, it would have enjoyed a
Speaker 1: little bit of touching in that moment. But I did
Speaker 1: just go to the front row and just hug a
Speaker 1: bunch of girls that were there, and that was my
Speaker 1: version of that. It was so sweet, but I didn't
Speaker 1: want to. I was so worried that josh admires stupid
Speaker 1: shoes going to kick people in the face. I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing. Don't don't crowd surf because some
Speaker 1: people aren't paying attention, they're drunk, and you got a
Speaker 1: shoe in the head and he wears a boot that
Speaker 1: is made for kicking people in the face. It's like
Speaker 1: American history X. Yeah, it's like found underneath the floor
Speaker 1: at CBGB. Like it just reminds me of like the
Speaker 1: he's so rugged. Even his stories are down here. He's
Speaker 1: like I was doing cocade in Mexico and a donkey
Speaker 1: ate my ass, and then I went up there and
Speaker 1: not saying Frank Sinatra is my way and his voice
Speaker 1: is insane, like how low it is, and he's not.
Speaker 1: He's a really nice guy. I'm so funny that someone
Speaker 1: in the band was wearing a shirt with his face
Speaker 1: on it and it looks like a memorial shirt, Like
Speaker 1: it looked like the shirt he would make after he died.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, just keep it because it's a matter
Speaker 1: of time. A shirt of Josh adamyre. Did you see it?
Speaker 1: It looked like this. It was like this. Um. You
Speaker 1: know there's pictures where there's there's shirts where it has
Speaker 1: one's face on it. I even have one. And there's
Speaker 1: ones that look like, oh, that's a cool shirt of
Speaker 1: like an artist, and there's ones that are like, that's
Speaker 1: we're celebrating that this person is no longer with us.
Speaker 1: And it looked like he should have the dates of
Speaker 1: when he lived above it. And I told the guy
Speaker 1: just keep that. I feel like you're to do the
Speaker 1: born date in a dash and we'll fill it in water,
Speaker 1: fill it in later, get some white out and write
Speaker 1: it in. No, Josh is doing quite well. He's you know,
Speaker 1: he's been through a lot and sober and gotten you know,
Speaker 1: he's clean now. But he looks like he's a guy
Speaker 1: that's lit let um illustrious life. Yes, but that was
Speaker 1: a that was a fun show and then he kills it.
Speaker 1: I mean, you had the band behind you, you have
Speaker 1: like the mannerisms. It's kind of like sometimes it's scary,
Speaker 1: like because you know, I watch you watch her, and
Speaker 1: then I see the practice. Then on stage you have
Speaker 1: this thing where you where you go, it's like this
Speaker 1: like almost robot try like like like if Taylor's went
Speaker 1: with the robot, no that's not no no no, But
Speaker 1: I'm telling I'm making fun fu n you know. But
Speaker 1: but there's just something to it, like where you're just
Speaker 1: like you just you take her in like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: embodied her up there. Like there are times when I
Speaker 1: can do I do impressions of people obviously without knowing it,
Speaker 1: and I can just like sometimes I can really nail
Speaker 1: how someone is and just being when you dress up
Speaker 1: like someone, it's much easier to do an impression of them. Um.
Speaker 1: And especially when you're standing playing guitar with a band,
Speaker 1: singing her song, um, wearing like an outfit that she
Speaker 1: would wear. It was very easy for me to embody
Speaker 1: her and just be like and just like doing the
Speaker 1: same things. But it actually came from a genuine place
Speaker 1: of like, oh, that's how I want to feel. And
Speaker 1: it got me. It wasn't me trying to be her.
Speaker 1: It was just like, oh, this feels natural right now
Speaker 1: to do these things. And you do have to put
Speaker 1: on a show in terms of with your face and
Speaker 1: like when you're singing, because a lot of times you
Speaker 1: can just look like oh like so much of like
Speaker 1: performing is your face, and with comedy or with singing
Speaker 1: in your body and in your face, and you totally
Speaker 1: forget writing jokes all day in your notebook. You don't
Speaker 1: write down what your face is gonna do or how
Speaker 1: you're the inflection you're gonna use. But like even her singing, like, um,
Speaker 1: got a long got a long list of ex lovers.
Speaker 1: They'll tell you I'm insane. She goes, I'm insane, And
Speaker 1: instead of saying and my dead always tells me, he goes,
Speaker 1: why do you say I am? And I'm like, because
Speaker 1: Taylor does. And I like that inflection because yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't nail it, and uh it was cool to see.
Speaker 1: Um we filmed it or I filmed it. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you post Oh yeah, you posted it somewhere.
Speaker 1: I posted all my stories and people were writing the
Speaker 1: nicest stuff. So that meant a lot to me. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just because it's not like I always love
Speaker 1: how like when you do, because like that that kind
Speaker 1: of for me, I would be like, what rock song,
Speaker 1: what's the fastest song's because I'd be so scared that
Speaker 1: the audience when it be But you just do you
Speaker 1: so much and that song is so well known and
Speaker 1: and I just know it's good and it's not that
Speaker 1: even if so many people were like forwards, like I
Speaker 1: don't like Taylor Swift except when you sing it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you do like Taylor. You just don't
Speaker 1: know it is there's it's not subjective objective. She's a
Speaker 1: good singer, songwriter. It's just there's no doubt about it anymore.
Speaker 1: It's not up for debate. It's like karaoke. You know,
Speaker 1: people will do like the slowest song that is so indulgent.
Speaker 1: I hate that if you but if you have a
Speaker 1: band and you know that you can do it. I've
Speaker 1: practiced a lot like I wouldn't do a song just
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, it's a good song and I
Speaker 1: can sing it. I think that song that Trip was
Speaker 1: awesome by the way that it was such it was
Speaker 1: so fast Nick. How much do we love Nick? And
Speaker 1: Nick and his girlfriend listened to the show Hey Necks
Speaker 1: girlfriend ham drip. What did she like? She likes something
Speaker 1: like that? Oh right Wednesdaysday. That he also told me
Speaker 1: some other thing that she told him to tell us
Speaker 1: that was like a very show thing. It was so cute.
Speaker 1: But I've known Nick for so long, Bruce, Oh so
Speaker 1: nice to just good people. Um, but Nick is a
Speaker 1: guy that works. Nick Brazao, he was a comedian and
Speaker 1: then he got you know, he started working with JFL
Speaker 1: which is in Montreal. It's just for last Comedy Festival,
Speaker 1: and you started working for um them, you know, probably
Speaker 1: lower level and now he's like, you know, then he
Speaker 1: quickly became the comedy booker. But he was a comedian first.
Speaker 1: And I was talking to him about it because I
Speaker 1: remember when I first met him, he had probably been
Speaker 1: like a year or so out of doing comedy and
Speaker 1: just now booking it. And I was like, how could
Speaker 1: you quit comedy like you were doing, you were getting gigs,
Speaker 1: you were working on how could you ever not do
Speaker 1: comedy and like also and work at it from this
Speaker 1: side of things? And I just never understood that, and
Speaker 1: I just told him the other night. I was like,
Speaker 1: I totally get it, Like I totally get being Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's his part point of view,
Speaker 1: but like secure enough, that's like I can let other
Speaker 1: people do it. I don't need to do it. But
Speaker 1: the thing I that is most important to me about
Speaker 1: stand up is that is the camaraderie and getting to
Speaker 1: hang out with the people that do it. Certain people,
Speaker 1: some are terrible, but like just being able to be
Speaker 1: backstage with Jim and Andrew and you and and the
Speaker 1: band and have an have those opportunities. Nick still gets those,
Speaker 1: and he he also is like the night, the night
Speaker 1: we got in, we're hanging out with Nick, uh, Andrew,
Speaker 1: me and you all in my room and shooting the
Speaker 1: ship and talking and Nick and I are really good friends.
Speaker 1: So the next day we were talking about like um
Speaker 1: our social anxiety. That night, like I was worried that
Speaker 1: he wanted to go to bed because I had texted
Speaker 1: him on the way that we got there at like
Speaker 1: ten o'clock to the resort or maybe later. We landed
Speaker 1: at ten, so we got there at like eleven thirty,
Speaker 1: and Nick was like, I'm going to bed. I'll just
Speaker 1: come down the lobby and say hi, and then we
Speaker 1: pull Then he ends up in my room and we're
Speaker 1: there for like two hours talking. You made a panini
Speaker 1: um And I told Nick the next day, I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you so tired? Like I know you're trying to
Speaker 1: go to bed. He was like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: That was honestly, that was like one of the best
Speaker 1: times I've had in so long because it was just
Speaker 1: a good hang. And I go, that's why I you
Speaker 1: just said it to like, you just made me realize it.
Speaker 1: I left comedy for the hangs. That's why I love comedy.
Speaker 1: I like shooting the ship, talking ship, being real, talking
Speaker 1: about literally any subject is is on limits. No, there's
Speaker 1: no gross level of like disgusting anyone or just everything.
Speaker 1: And everyone's emotionally kind of more um open now. And
Speaker 1: I said to him, I was like, I kept checking
Speaker 1: on you to be like, oh, he's being quiet right now,
Speaker 1: like he's probably really bored wants to leave. And he
Speaker 1: was like, I was checking on you because we were
Speaker 1: in your room and I didn't want you to feel
Speaker 1: like we had to stay. He was like, and then
Speaker 1: I was worried that I wasn't chiming in enough, and
Speaker 1: that you guys were gonna think I wasn't funny, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I love how we're like both obsessing
Speaker 1: in our heads and trying to take care of each other. Um.
Speaker 1: But I just loved hearing how much he like enjoyed that,
Speaker 1: because so did I. I think you know, as you
Speaker 1: come up as a comic, if you're trying to do
Speaker 1: comedy and you moved to New York or any any
Speaker 1: city you're in the main booker, whoever that is, whatever
Speaker 1: town you're in, they get a lot of like they
Speaker 1: get a little bit of an ego because they're choosing
Speaker 1: who lives and who dies. They're kind of king job
Speaker 1: freeing it. And you could feel it in the right
Speaker 1: comments like this is who I liked or this is
Speaker 1: who killed and you know that they they know that,
Speaker 1: and you don't feel it. Maybe if you're I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't feel it, maybe because I'm like connected through you,
Speaker 1: But I honestly feel like you would never feel it
Speaker 1: with him. No, he has no ego. It's almost like
Speaker 1: he should get one. He's yeah, what a loser. No,
Speaker 1: he's like Noah, like he can hang you know, like
Speaker 1: there's he's in he's not a comedian but where he
Speaker 1: was but and it's very very funny, but there's no
Speaker 1: part about him where you're like, this is an outsider
Speaker 1: like in getting into the business so that they can
Speaker 1: just get it on her hands and they didn't earn it,
Speaker 1: like he belongs there. But there's definitely like there's definitely bookers, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there's definitely bookers that were comedians that that don't
Speaker 1: belong there and that end up like they're just so
Speaker 1: power hungry. It just fucking makes me angry. And if
Speaker 1: you're listening out there, they eventually kind of it found
Speaker 1: out for me and just like in it for the
Speaker 1: wrong reasons. But you know that's there are so many
Speaker 1: people that find weasel ways in to hang out and
Speaker 1: to have I was talking to my manager about how
Speaker 1: some people are so slow, like on calls and like
Speaker 1: we were talking about the other day, like meetings just tedious.
Speaker 1: And I was talking to him about how much I
Speaker 1: value when we talk on the phone because it's just
Speaker 1: like in and out and it's like it's as quick
Speaker 1: as the text exchange for conversations. And I was asking him,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you talked on the phone all day long.
Speaker 1: Do people in this business show business last? If they're
Speaker 1: those long winded people that like have to say hello
Speaker 1: and then tell the start like have all of like
Speaker 1: and just are so like they talk ultimately, don't get business.
Speaker 1: If you talk too long, they go ultimately. I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: it's like, what the funk are you get jumped to?
Speaker 1: It pales ultimately over the details that everyone is very
Speaker 1: clear on. They have to then go over them again.
Speaker 1: It's just like, oh God. But I said, do those
Speaker 1: people last? You do you? Do you see those people
Speaker 1: fall away that are too because this industry is so
Speaker 1: like that? And he said, no, they end up at
Speaker 1: the top because no one can tell them to shut up.
Speaker 1: So they just work their way to the top where
Speaker 1: they can get away with that and no one can
Speaker 1: take it from them. I mean, there's something to speaking
Speaker 1: slowly where I I don't see you going to them.
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of people, including myself, if I'm
Speaker 1: talking to someone and they and I feel like they
Speaker 1: have a little bit of power and they start so
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, and I'd be like, what are you Try
Speaker 1: to start meditating because I'm like, I need to calm
Speaker 1: down and get my heart right down and get on
Speaker 1: their level because they have mine. I've never spoke to
Speaker 1: someone as fast as you, as you think and you speak,
Speaker 1: it took me a while to like catch up. I
Speaker 1: think I'm still catching up. Yeah. Last night, my uh,
Speaker 1: the guy I'm dating was just like you are just
Speaker 1: on a different aren't level in terms of how quickly
Speaker 1: your brain works? Not like it's like he was not.
Speaker 1: I'm not patting myself on the braack like I'm brilliant,
Speaker 1: but like I just move really really fast, and I
Speaker 1: don't realize that other people. I just want other people
Speaker 1: like just just walk faster, you know, like I know
Speaker 1: you can just do it, but some people's brains they can't.
Speaker 1: It's not that they're dumb, they just need a second
Speaker 1: and I don't. I Um, I just learned some things
Speaker 1: about myself last night through talking to the guy I'm
Speaker 1: dating and him bringing some things about my personality to
Speaker 1: light that are not that great that I, you know,
Speaker 1: normally would never want to hear and would want to
Speaker 1: like never read those YouTube comments. But he, you know,
Speaker 1: he behaved in a way that I was like, I
Speaker 1: didn't like how you did this, and he goes, well,
Speaker 1: it was I'm not making excuses, but I can't. It's
Speaker 1: hard to for me to be loving towards you when
Speaker 1: you do this and this and this, And I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I did do all of those things. And I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to be loving towards me either, Like
Speaker 1: that's not how I want to talk to you, not
Speaker 1: only you. But he was like, you can't talk to
Speaker 1: me like you talk to people that you that work
Speaker 1: for you. And I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk to anyone that way, Like I shouldn't be talking
Speaker 1: to people I work for and he goes, maybe you
Speaker 1: have to do He was like, I think you're right.
Speaker 1: You should probably assess the way you talk to people
Speaker 1: and ask for things, because it just sounded like my
Speaker 1: mom being like Aja, get me that, Nick, get me that,
Speaker 1: and it's just like just say please and thank you.
Speaker 1: And I know you've brought it to my attention before,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, you're just being sensitive. But the
Speaker 1: way when he said it and was like, I do
Speaker 1: not like for you to talk to me that way,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to talk to you
Speaker 1: that way or anyone like it just and I go
Speaker 1: and I'm not the type of person that's rude. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful when people grab me things or get me things,
Speaker 1: And so why am I shouting at people to get
Speaker 1: things like I don't. That's just not who I I
Speaker 1: really don't think that's who I am. So I'm misrepresenting
Speaker 1: myself when because I'll just be like, oh, I want
Speaker 1: that thing, my foot's in the foot massage, Hey can
Speaker 1: you give me that thing? And it's like just say, hey,
Speaker 1: would your mind giving like just the way you can
Speaker 1: say it is, But I just go, fuck tone, I
Speaker 1: want to speed this up, like just I'm I'm up
Speaker 1: to I'm a little bit spectrum me about it. It's like,
Speaker 1: why do I have to change my tone? But now
Speaker 1: I realize I really have to realize I'm not I
Speaker 1: have to be more empathetic. I think that I have
Speaker 1: a grasp on it, and then I get kind of
Speaker 1: hit over the head with seeing myself. I think, what
Speaker 1: happens with you if I could just like I think,
Speaker 1: whenever you like do something where like you're the star
Speaker 1: of the show, like where it's like outsiders that are
Speaker 1: like literally they'll they'll do whatever you want. I mean essentially,
Speaker 1: like I'm not saying that that's a like like you
Speaker 1: take advantage of it, but like like like f Boy
Speaker 1: Island or something where like you're the star, like it's
Speaker 1: hard to I'm sure it's hard with you to go
Speaker 1: from that to just regular life. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that it's a bad like I get it, like I
Speaker 1: empathize with it, Like I can't imagine like being like
Speaker 1: what do you need? What do you want? What do
Speaker 1: you need? And then going to life and being like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I'm not gonna get you that ship, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And then you're gonna be like wait,
Speaker 1: like it probably takes a few days to be like okay.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it
Speaker 1: just that would make sense to me. Yes, I and
Speaker 1: I think that I do that. I have trouble um
Speaker 1: vascillating between those two worlds where people are their job
Speaker 1: is to just grab things for me and get them
Speaker 1: so that I don't have to walk across the room
Speaker 1: literally because I have to be in a chair getting
Speaker 1: may makeup done or whatever is. You have to be yes,
Speaker 1: And I get it, you know, ask and and and
Speaker 1: and like when when it comes between you and me
Speaker 1: and like you doing things for me, Like it's a
Speaker 1: blurred line of like, Okay, are you being paid for this?
Speaker 1: Are you just doing this out of kindness? And I
Speaker 1: think that sometimes I think that you were just going
Speaker 1: to do something out of kindness and you're thinking that
Speaker 1: you're being bossed around by someone who you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: not on the clock. But it's like, but when you're
Speaker 1: off the clock, I just want you to do something
Speaker 1: out of kindness, and you're like, well, when I'm off
Speaker 1: the clock, I don't want to do anything for you
Speaker 1: because when I'm on the clock, so I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: do things for my boss out of kindness. And that's
Speaker 1: where I get like, Okay, I can't have my friends
Speaker 1: work for me then, because I want my friends to
Speaker 1: be doing friendly things for me without me having to
Speaker 1: go like please, like I I have to, I have
Speaker 1: to give all these reasons why I can't. Now, will
Speaker 1: you do it? As opposed to like this would really
Speaker 1: make my life easy? Can you do this? Or like
Speaker 1: you know that. That's where it gets blored, is like
Speaker 1: I'm sure when you're off the clock, you don't want
Speaker 1: to take out an order from me, but sometimes as
Speaker 1: your roommate, I need you to fulfill an order because
Speaker 1: my day has no room for me to like get
Speaker 1: something that I need to get or something, and I
Speaker 1: know your day does and and I want to be
Speaker 1: able to do those things for you too, because that's
Speaker 1: what friends do. I know. I think we always just
Speaker 1: keep circling back to the same kind of thing, and
Speaker 1: I think we have a better grasp on it with
Speaker 1: like where each other's coming from with that stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: I think you know obviously yesterday was, but like my
Speaker 1: thing is is like if if I'm not working for you,
Speaker 1: and let's say my day is open in your eyes, right,
Speaker 1: that's still my day, right, So my time is just
Speaker 1: as important as your time. You're choosing to work, you're
Speaker 1: choosing to go to these things, that's your time. My time.
Speaker 1: This is important even if just drop my choice. Sometimes
Speaker 1: all the things that I'm ount in my day, I
Speaker 1: literally don't have even a minute to feed myself to
Speaker 1: do that while I'm driving to It's not though, because
Speaker 1: there are people, there's money and productions. It all lines up.
Speaker 1: So it's a day like it would be the same
Speaker 1: as if you you know, you having a mom who
Speaker 1: might be sick and you have to go visit her.
Speaker 1: Is well, it's your choice. You have a mom. Like
Speaker 1: I have a job. Sometimes I agree to a job
Speaker 1: not knowing that all of the jobs are gonna I
Speaker 1: can't see the future that much. Where a day where
Speaker 1: I've literally no time to go to the grocery store
Speaker 1: and I and I desperately want an order to be
Speaker 1: picked up and I need food in my house, that
Speaker 1: is the kind of that's not me being like I
Speaker 1: just feel like I need a frame from Target and
Speaker 1: or you're not doing anything today, get me a frame.
Speaker 1: It's like, this is a necessity and I truly have
Speaker 1: not a single window to do it. Could you do it? Yes? Yes?
Speaker 1: My thing is is that, like I if I look
Speaker 1: back at our friendship and when you've asked me to
Speaker 1: do something, even off the clock, I think I've rarely
Speaker 1: I I can't even remember a time I've ever flat
Speaker 1: out said no to you. So my thing is is
Speaker 1: that because if I do say no, I feel like
Speaker 1: you're gonna go, well you have in your mind, You're
Speaker 1: gonna start thinking, well, you have this open today. I
Speaker 1: have work you don't have, So me's even thinking of
Speaker 1: saying no. I'm thinking, okay, Well, now if I say no,
Speaker 1: she's gonna judge me and be upset because she assumes
Speaker 1: that I have a free day or whatever. So then
Speaker 1: I'm in a position where I can't. I don't feel
Speaker 1: comfortable saying no because I don't want to feel the
Speaker 1: anger from you. But if you say no, I would
Speaker 1: just say, like if you said I can't today, I'd say,
Speaker 1: I literally have note, and then that would open up
Speaker 1: a discussion of why can't you? I know, but I
Speaker 1: don't even want I don't even want to have to
Speaker 1: answer that. That's the difference, like like I don't think
Speaker 1: you understand, Like I don't think you understand helping friends
Speaker 1: when there's nothing in it for you. But that's that's
Speaker 1: that's what I don't think you understand. That's kind of
Speaker 1: that's before we even before you even asked me to
Speaker 1: do anything. I walk Luigi, I got Starbucks, and I
Speaker 1: got Zevia for us yesterday. The Zevia thing you got
Speaker 1: on your own. I didn't ask that, and I was
Speaker 1: appreciative of it, but that was yours too, And I
Speaker 1: asked you to walk Luigi for me, and I said please,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you don't have time and I and
Speaker 1: I bought my own service. You picked it up, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but I bet I get you Starbucks
Speaker 1: I've spent if I ended up all the money I've
Speaker 1: spent on Starbucks, I'm not comparing it, but it's truly Andrew,
Speaker 1: like I I think of you when you don't ask
Speaker 1: me to think of you and think of what could
Speaker 1: make his life better and easier, what could nurture him
Speaker 1: and make him feel good when you don't ask for it.
Speaker 1: And I don't feel that from you as much. And
Speaker 1: so when I have something that I'm just like, God,
Speaker 1: I don't want to ask him to do this, I
Speaker 1: really don't, and I do it, and it's met with
Speaker 1: I guess. And it's just it's not even going to
Speaker 1: the grocery store and going through the aisles. It's picking
Speaker 1: up bags that would be pre already loaded and you
Speaker 1: just have to go in and get the bags and
Speaker 1: bring them to your car. And I would be so grateful.
Speaker 1: You saying I guess is like just not, I just
Speaker 1: don't feel like that. I I okay, I hear you,
Speaker 1: but I just feel like when you say that, I
Speaker 1: don't think of you, or if I don't do things
Speaker 1: for you, and that's like a blanket statement that just
Speaker 1: like it just when I can literally like go through
Speaker 1: like I don't, it's like on a pissing contest, but
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like you do. I know you
Speaker 1: do for me all the time. The other day you
Speaker 1: offered to go over my set for that Bruce Springsteen show.
Speaker 1: You were like, you can send me it and I'll
Speaker 1: help you with it. That was something I didn't ask
Speaker 1: for that you offered. That was just going to take
Speaker 1: your time and was only for me. That I can
Speaker 1: think of examples like that. But yesterday with the groceries,
Speaker 1: I just I was just like I have ever said no.
Speaker 1: But the thing is you should be able to say
Speaker 1: no to me. It's just in those moments. I but
Speaker 1: do you understand like why I can't because you say
Speaker 1: to me that I don't think of you and I
Speaker 1: don't do things for you. That's what you just said.
Speaker 1: But you're allowed to say no to me, it's just
Speaker 1: and I'm allowed to say, listen, I know that you
Speaker 1: don't want to do this today. I really need you
Speaker 1: please and have that discourse instead of I guess how
Speaker 1: many times have I done. I guess like that yesterday.
Speaker 1: I know, but that's one time out of a million
Speaker 1: times you've asked me to do something. That's the first time.
Speaker 1: But it was but it was just that was just
Speaker 1: talking about that isolated it. But then you go, what
Speaker 1: do you mean. I guess that's what you said, because
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean? I guess it's
Speaker 1: like both of you, both of you are asking kind
Speaker 1: of the same thing when it comes to tone. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean, yeah, it is. I
Speaker 1: just tone is everything. I'm just like struggling with being
Speaker 1: seen as a boss or a friend and having like
Speaker 1: those that that I'm just thinking, now, Oh, people are
Speaker 1: only nice to me because I pay them, and they
Speaker 1: don't do anything for me unless they're on the clock,
Speaker 1: and they don't even and they are they roll their
Speaker 1: eyes and resented if they're off the clock to do
Speaker 1: something nice for me, And so all the nice things
Speaker 1: you do for me, I'm like, oh wait, I like
Speaker 1: have a momento moment where I go back and I
Speaker 1: see all the times, all of our good times, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, he's just doing that because I pay
Speaker 1: him and I've given him affordab him opportunities and the
Speaker 1: day he has a free day where he can sacrifice
Speaker 1: some of his free time to make my day a
Speaker 1: little better and I'm going to pay him for it.
Speaker 1: It's just is it's it's I guess, and it's like
Speaker 1: I don't know how. But my point is is that, yeah,
Speaker 1: you it's just hard because I feel like I think
Speaker 1: you stop asking for things from you and get an assistant.
Speaker 1: First I did that and then she she didn't do anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she wasn't able to do it. Um, but I just
Speaker 1: need to do that and like not ask things from
Speaker 1: you that you can't give me, give me support in
Speaker 1: ways that other people don't like. I think it's just
Speaker 1: an issue of wanting someone to be like to to
Speaker 1: you know, well I do that, so you should do that.
Speaker 1: And it's like we don't operate. We don't. I'll show
Speaker 1: our love and our friendship in the same way and
Speaker 1: that I have friends who would do that for me.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean you have to. But I feel
Speaker 1: like I do a lot of things like that. But
Speaker 1: I think it's because I pay you know, you don't
Speaker 1: how many times I don't think I'm like that dude.
Speaker 1: That's like I don't. I mean, if that's how you
Speaker 1: view it, that's like I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't even realize it's why. What ultimately
Speaker 1: you're looking for and maybe something for you to focus
Speaker 1: on when all these jobs and stuff are done, is
Speaker 1: partnership is just a good who Well, that's where I
Speaker 1: thought roommates are that are sharing a refrigerator and food,
Speaker 1: and that was the groceries to me, was a thing
Speaker 1: that roommates tackled together. Um and but it's not. And
Speaker 1: that's why I think we just I've decided yesterday like
Speaker 1: separate groceries, never gonna get something for you again. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that like I'm not doing anything, Like
Speaker 1: I don't need to think about your food needs. You've
Speaker 1: already asked me not to. I you stay out of
Speaker 1: my food, I stay to yours. I don't need to
Speaker 1: get you things at the grocery store unless you ask
Speaker 1: for them. You don't need to get me things at
Speaker 1: the grocery store unless I ask for them. And that
Speaker 1: is the way it goes. So there's not this like imbalance. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm with that. I mean, that's fine with me.
Speaker 1: And I got a label maker. So I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: it to good use. You're gonna label Yeah, I will.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news. I think, sorry for both
Speaker 1: of us. I guess whatever, I'm sorry. What do you
Speaker 1: mean you guess I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude, I don't
Speaker 1: have my own. Um, okay, I hope you're having all
Speaker 1: the swells out there. And uh, today's Wednesday. You know
Speaker 1: what that means, Nick, It's Thursday. No, it's Wednesday. Damn it.
Speaker 1: I always I almost got it, alright. Student athletes from
Speaker 1: Cambridge University compiled a racy calendar where they pose naked
Speaker 1: to raise money for health awareness. So these people that
Speaker 1: are athletes at Cambridge, which I think is a pretty Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's one of those Ivy Oxford kind of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's Oxford, Harvard, Cambridge, Yale. I mean, here's the thing
Speaker 1: a little bit right. You're an athlete, you've got a
Speaker 1: great body, you want to show it off, and then
Speaker 1: you go, hey, this is for charity, which is a
Speaker 1: bigger cause. I don't want to hate it. I don't
Speaker 1: hate it. Anything that anything charitable. If you're naked for it, good.
Speaker 1: If you're not, fine, like we can look at this
Speaker 1: stuff all day long and go, oh, it's just people,
Speaker 1: you know, me performing with Bruce Springsteen and John Stewart.
Speaker 1: Every I'm on this red carpet and I keep getting asked,
Speaker 1: what why is tonight so important for you? Because it's
Speaker 1: it's an event for the troops, for veterans, injured veterans
Speaker 1: and their families. I had did I did? You know?
Speaker 1: I had to actually dig deep and go why is
Speaker 1: this important to be other than this lineup is insane?
Speaker 1: And I wanted to be here and get wasted by
Speaker 1: h Bruce Springsteen, which is what my brother in law
Speaker 1: calls when a guy grabs your waist. He's like, I
Speaker 1: saw you get wasted by Bruce, And I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: so funny. W A I S T E D. So
Speaker 1: steal that and use that get waste. I got wasted
Speaker 1: by Bruce Springsteen. And you know, I could say all
Speaker 1: day I do this, because I really I took I
Speaker 1: took a flight to New York's City on my day
Speaker 1: off and uh flew here and add hair and makeup,
Speaker 1: done all this stuff so I could perform for the veterans. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad it's a good cause, but like whatever, But
Speaker 1: but but great, that's that's the type of the event
Speaker 1: that they throw to get big comedians, that will get
Speaker 1: big donors to show up and donate money. So whether
Speaker 1: or not I'm doing it for the right reasons, which
Speaker 1: I did end up really thinking about it and being like, oh,
Speaker 1: this foundation is fucking awesome. This is going to make
Speaker 1: me think more charitably and be in that mind. But whatever,
Speaker 1: my reason for being there was so what I didn't
Speaker 1: get paid. I was there giving something that earned money
Speaker 1: for veterans and their families. If you were doing something
Speaker 1: for charity like these college kids are, it's basically all
Speaker 1: the athletes stripped down naked and they pose for this
Speaker 1: calendar together. If you have to do something where you
Speaker 1: and Andrew, let's say, had to strip down naked, the
Speaker 1: thing is, no one makes you if you have to,
Speaker 1: that's a different story. But this is the idea, you know,
Speaker 1: Like if Andrew and I put out a calendar where
Speaker 1: we're naked calendar and it's all for charity, or I
Speaker 1: did an I was thinking of doing an only fans
Speaker 1: with feats or whatever, or just like hot pictures or
Speaker 1: like tippics whatever, and donating all the money people could
Speaker 1: still say I'm just doing it for the attention. I
Speaker 1: don't need the money. But is that does that mean
Speaker 1: it's not good if you make it artsy, it's different.
Speaker 1: What about FARTSI even better smelly? No, but you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, like there's something about like if
Speaker 1: you pose like this, if you're naked and there's just
Speaker 1: a little kit the picture, then it's suddenly art. And
Speaker 1: if you do it yeah, so if you did it selfe.
Speaker 1: So if you didn't do it on only fans, right,
Speaker 1: you set up your own charity page, you go here,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing only fans. I'm doing this very artistic.
Speaker 1: You get a very good photographer, but you show your tits,
Speaker 1: but they're like maybe they're covered in like a little
Speaker 1: bit of paint or something like the dog tags on
Speaker 1: my nipples veterans. Yeah, and you're getting well or yeah,
Speaker 1: or you're giving money to dogs that needs to be
Speaker 1: tagged or or whatever whatever it is. But you just
Speaker 1: make it a little classy. People will still call you out.
Speaker 1: People still say it's like you, I wouldn't do it
Speaker 1: just because it would make People would say Nikki just
Speaker 1: thinks she's hot and wants to like show off. I'd
Speaker 1: rather just do it and like what I gotta have
Speaker 1: to do? You know I used to do a joke
Speaker 1: about it. I should bring it back about Peter. When
Speaker 1: they asked me to do they wrote me, and we're like,
Speaker 1: I've always wanted Peter to acknowledge that I'm a vegan
Speaker 1: and like animal rights champion and that sounds like I
Speaker 1: have won something, But I just a champion animal rights.
Speaker 1: It's more of a verb than a noun. But um,
Speaker 1: but the fact that or I guess adjective if I'm
Speaker 1: a champion, but I don't know anymore. But anyway, um,
Speaker 1: I guess it's a noun. So um. When they asked me,
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to get to do one
Speaker 1: of those I wouldn't. I'd rather go naked than wear
Speaker 1: fur where you get to put with your tits out
Speaker 1: and and it's for the animals. I don't really want to,
Speaker 1: but this is like a campaign, like you have to
Speaker 1: do this. And instead they asked me if I wanted
Speaker 1: to do dress as a sheep where sheep costume like
Speaker 1: a big baggy sheep, a disheveled, grumpy sheep, and say, um,
Speaker 1: you know, don't you know your wool coat uses. It
Speaker 1: hurts me and I'm just like a bloody kind of
Speaker 1: disgruntled old sheep. And I literally when I got the email,
Speaker 1: was like here it comes ready, Like I started like
Speaker 1: sucking in and kind of sitting up straight and find
Speaker 1: the email. It's so upsetting. It reminds me of like
Speaker 1: when a hot reality guy asked you to do a
Speaker 1: podcast instead of fucking it gets the same kind. So
Speaker 1: many times this happens to me where I get asked
Speaker 1: where I think it's going to be. Something like when
Speaker 1: Gloves of Tanko I went to that I Heart Awards
Speaker 1: with him and he was like, Nikki, you know Atten
Speaker 1: was Stars coming back September. I was like yeah, and
Speaker 1: He's like, um, you know, uh, I talked to Uh.
Speaker 1: I talked what's her name? I talked to the booker
Speaker 1: of Dancing with Stars. You know what Nicky? You know
Speaker 1: she said she because I said, I told I told
Speaker 1: her I Dina, I'm going to I heard a words
Speaker 1: with Nikki Glazer and you know, she said to me,
Speaker 1: she said, you know, thinking about this next season you
Speaker 1: and Nikki. And I was like, what, no way, because
Speaker 1: Glove knows I want to go back. I go no way.
Speaker 1: He goes yes, Nikky, yes, and I was like shut
Speaker 1: up and he was like you. She said, you and
Speaker 1: Nikki look for your next partner at the wards. Maybe
Speaker 1: you find her. I I aged like seven years in
Speaker 1: that sense at by the end of that sent can
Speaker 1: I ask a question if you went back on Dancing
Speaker 1: with the Stars, would you feel more pressure or less?
Speaker 1: Because if you got voted off first again, it would
Speaker 1: be so funny. Now I'd feel less. I would feel
Speaker 1: so free. I would kill it whether I was on
Speaker 1: one episode or not, I would fucking kill it. It It
Speaker 1: would be amazing. This is what I got. We're big
Speaker 1: fans of yours and love everything you do to promote
Speaker 1: a vegan lifestyle. That, um, here's what we know. We'll
Speaker 1: get people's attention and really help this campaign. We want
Speaker 1: to dress you in a lazy slash funny sheep costume
Speaker 1: and have you talked? Have you talked to the camera,
Speaker 1: And it's very straightforward and dryway to tell people, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm a sheep and that we'll you're wearing is actually mine.
Speaker 1: We'll develop the script and work on it with you
Speaker 1: to tweak it so it's just right an on brand
Speaker 1: for you. Thanks and warms regards. Let me know what
Speaker 1: you think. Thanks and warms regards, Rachel Peter. Where you
Speaker 1: wrote back, I wrote back to my My agents gave
Speaker 1: it to me. I go, I don't love this creative,
Speaker 1: but I would love to work with them in another way.
Speaker 1: Winky and then and then never got anything back, like
Speaker 1: let me just hold them all t's in front of
Speaker 1: my vagina. They'd rather be not spread the word about
Speaker 1: how far is bad than joke? All right? Next story,
Speaker 1: um president, no, no, I'm sorry. And Amazon worker, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've seen this video. Uh. He went
Speaker 1: viral in October after a woman was filmed leaving the
Speaker 1: back of his truck. Said the attention to video received him.
Speaker 1: Whoa wait, So he was hooking up on the job
Speaker 1: and like in the neighborhood when he's delivering packages, and
Speaker 1: someone it and he got fired. That's what happened. My box? Well,
Speaker 1: he said, no boxes were missing from the truck, and
Speaker 1: then he got fired because the video went viral or
Speaker 1: the photo whatever. You shouldn't have stranger like people in
Speaker 1: your truck when they could take things put. Amazon will
Speaker 1: gladly just give you another one if like you don't
Speaker 1: get your box. Have you ever not gotten something from
Speaker 1: Amazon or had it been the wrong thing? You literally
Speaker 1: make a complaint and they're just it is cheap. They
Speaker 1: did a study, this is fucked up. They put sensors
Speaker 1: on things that were returned to Amazon, and the sensors
Speaker 1: all ended up in a landfill because it is more
Speaker 1: expensive for them to restock things than to just throw
Speaker 1: it in the trash. And so when you return something Amazon,
Speaker 1: it ends up in the trash. So how many of
Speaker 1: those Amazon workers are getting laid in their office? When
Speaker 1: you call them, you go, my package didn't arrive, They'll
Speaker 1: send you another that guy's office though, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, well, haven't you ever had sex? Sex? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Have I yeah? I mean I've masturbated at a dog
Speaker 1: owner's house. That's not really that's sexual. But you've had
Speaker 1: sex in an office? Right? Yes? And you risk everything
Speaker 1: of theirs because you hoste the show. They can't really
Speaker 1: get rid of you just getting but not um, just
Speaker 1: get get um. Yeah, I've I've had sex in office
Speaker 1: and in places. It's so fun. And I wouldn't do
Speaker 1: it now because I'm like an adult and I realized
Speaker 1: that that's that's I would do it again. That was
Speaker 1: a lie. I just lied to you guys. I would
Speaker 1: do it again my girlfriend, I would do that. Yes,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't even be a question. I'm so tired of
Speaker 1: people saying, like calling people out for things that they
Speaker 1: absolutely would do. And like that's what the guy was saying.
Speaker 1: He's like, I did what any American man would do.
Speaker 1: Like his girlfriend shows UP, lets her into the truck.
Speaker 1: Nothing went missing. All packages got when ups, UPS should
Speaker 1: come out and go, not only are we gonna hire you,
Speaker 1: We're going to give you a bed in our truck.
Speaker 1: And it would be such good promotion for them because
Speaker 1: because Amazon's kicking their ads right now. I'm sure, well
Speaker 1: I think um or maybe UPS delivered. I think I
Speaker 1: must bring your girlfriend to work your dick day at
Speaker 1: at Amazon. So I think he was actually following the
Speaker 1: UM yeah. I mean so many people are bringing their
Speaker 1: girlfriends to work, like I've done an ubers and there's
Speaker 1: been like friends in the front seat of the person driving.
Speaker 1: That's the best. What is the I do? And I
Speaker 1: go is this school and they're like yeah, And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I guess it is because you seem comfortable. Um, good
Speaker 1: for that guy. Man, if you need a job, I
Speaker 1: don't know anyone, but good luck. Let's take a break
Speaker 1: and come back with why do I care? Why do
Speaker 1: I care? Why do I care? Paul dh sexiest man alive? No, No,
Speaker 1: not that he needed to get a woman with his
Speaker 1: car yesterday, No anyone sexiest No, fifty two years old
Speaker 1: actor jokes. I'm going to lean into it hard. I'm
Speaker 1: going to own this. I'm not going to try to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm so he is. I mean it
Speaker 1: pays to be a family man and a nice looking
Speaker 1: guy that doesn't seem like you abuse women in Hollywood. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I learned something from Paul Rodd the other It's a
Speaker 1: camera trick that he did on the Graham Norton Show
Speaker 1: that was on Reddit. I don't want to see if
Speaker 1: I can do it? Are you photoing me? Yeah? Hold on?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, how did he do that? Now I'm looking
Speaker 1: at him like, how the fund did he do that? Oh?
Speaker 1: I think it's like that. Okay, Oh here we go. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: what is the trick? Wait? You'll see I'm taking so
Speaker 1: I'll tell you how to do it in a second.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to do it and a hat on.
Speaker 1: Hold On, I guess, hold on, I'm putting my finger
Speaker 1: in front of hold on, how did he fucking do that? Okay,
Speaker 1: now I see Okay, so look look which way? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, so I'm gonna zoo. I'm gonna oh this sucks.
Speaker 1: Um he does he put his finger in front of
Speaker 1: the camera and it looks like whoever's like, it looks
Speaker 1: like you're about to blow someone. Okay, Look doesn't that
Speaker 1: look like an ass that you're about to go down on? Oh?
Speaker 1: I see above my head. Yeah, the ass is my finger? Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I had to crop it a little bit would have
Speaker 1: been funnier. Yes, But he didn't. He didn't. You gotta
Speaker 1: check Paul Paul run on the Graham Norton Show. He
Speaker 1: did this amazing iPhone trick. Or he puts his finger
Speaker 1: in front of the camera and it will make whoever
Speaker 1: you're taking picture of look like they're about to blow
Speaker 1: a guy with like a huge ass and a big,
Speaker 1: big gap. But he's so cool and like you know,
Speaker 1: obviously classically the the young. He never ages and all
Speaker 1: those things. He's so and he is sexy. Could win
Speaker 1: at two women a lot. I think they do it
Speaker 1: just to be like, you know, we're like we're honoring
Speaker 1: older women because we have to kind of thing legit sexy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like I I feel like, not that I've seen him
Speaker 1: a few times. Have you met him before? No, I haven't.
Speaker 1: You've seen him in person? Yeah, and in Tribeca, And
Speaker 1: I mean, he's just a He's a handsome guy. He
Speaker 1: just looks like the every day I was so cute
Speaker 1: and clueless we might get Marky Mark to plant the
Speaker 1: celebrity tree. When he says that on Clueless, that is
Speaker 1: the line where I was just like, God, he's so adorable.
Speaker 1: He tilts his head when he's driving, goes, yeah, I
Speaker 1: have a tree people meeting later and shares like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, what's your tree people meeting about? Or whatever,
Speaker 1: and he's like, we might get Marky Mark to plant
Speaker 1: the celebrity tree. And she's like, oh, Marky Mark taking
Speaker 1: time out of this pants dropping settle, not knowing that
Speaker 1: later on Mark Walbert's a huge star. But at the
Speaker 1: time Marky Mark was ridiculous. Um, he's so adorable. He
Speaker 1: was so even in UM. I was reminded of him
Speaker 1: his first up in Yeah, and then he was in
Speaker 1: Romeo and Juliet. He played uh the guy that was
Speaker 1: Juliet's parents trying to set her up with Paris. I
Speaker 1: think his name is but he he was in the
Speaker 1: Brittany Murphy documentary when they showed her bouncing around and
Speaker 1: clueless and all the roles she's had, and uh, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I that that documentary. Holy fucking shit. I
Speaker 1: loved it so much and I'm still thinking about it
Speaker 1: and haunted by it and her. Um. But yeah, Paul
Speaker 1: reads so key out and seems like a nice guy. Um.
Speaker 1: Sexiest Man Alive, Like, don't really care about who gets
Speaker 1: that doesn't really Sexiest Woman Alive. I don't even think
Speaker 1: they do it. Do they say most fifty most Beautiful People?
Speaker 1: They do that. They'll do Woman of the Year. That's
Speaker 1: Time magazine. But I don't think they do Sexiest Woman Alive.
Speaker 1: But maybe they do. Man. I was just on some
Speaker 1: account today that was like a deep dive of like
Speaker 1: Kylie Jenner and like what she looked like before and
Speaker 1: the hot deeds, like how they've changed. There's this thing
Speaker 1: you can get where you get threads like in your
Speaker 1: forehead and it pulls back your eyes so that you
Speaker 1: look like hot deeds, and I think that's what they do,
Speaker 1: is like the thread lifting. And I really I'm not
Speaker 1: opposed to doing some stuff. I was, you know, I
Speaker 1: had a good, good showing on the Red Carpet the
Speaker 1: other night, and I've looked at the pictures and I go, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting a little bit older. I can
Speaker 1: see it. I was watching Jennifer Aniston on the Morning
Speaker 1: Show the other day and I was like, I'm getting
Speaker 1: a kind of an ant fifty old Anniston vibe in
Speaker 1: my thirties. And that's fine, but like I can see things,
Speaker 1: things were falling. I'm okay with it, but it's definitely
Speaker 1: I definitely look different, like it's inevitable. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I keep thinking it's not. You know, we're going
Speaker 1: to age. I think happened. I like how I look
Speaker 1: now more than I do twenties. I gotta say that
Speaker 1: I feel like you look just I mean it sounds cheesy,
Speaker 1: but like just as good or younger than when I
Speaker 1: met you three years ago. Yes, I look back at
Speaker 1: pictures and stuff like I I feel fine about myself,
Speaker 1: and I think it really is as cheesy as it is.
Speaker 1: Its being like it's from within, and it's like I'm
Speaker 1: more comfortable with myself to it. Just I saw Kylie
Speaker 1: Jenner too before she got all the work done at
Speaker 1: no boo U, no yes, and no over lip. She
Speaker 1: had like she had like a skeleton like imo, Like
Speaker 1: she was black hair, she was insanely pale, she was tall,
Speaker 1: but she was For her to go from no lip
Speaker 1: to that lip, I'm like, anything could be done with
Speaker 1: your lip, Like I was just studying it today being like, God,
Speaker 1: I kind of want to try some stuff. I don't
Speaker 1: know she would she be would you be funny if
Speaker 1: you had these big duck lips? A funny looking And
Speaker 1: also I don't care about like I know, but what
Speaker 1: do you think it looks hot? I've seen it's not
Speaker 1: even like I want, Oh my god, more people will
Speaker 1: like me and I'll be more successful. It's just like
Speaker 1: a new haircut. No one gets mad when a girl
Speaker 1: does a new haircut to look better. Why do they
Speaker 1: get mad when she does lips to get better? No? Uh,
Speaker 1: did I just make a good point. Yeah, hair can
Speaker 1: be grown back, yeah, but lips can be shrunk back.
Speaker 1: That's the case. That's the thing, Like she must have
Speaker 1: to get it yeah, I just feel you're the thing.
Speaker 1: I do think, like there's certain surgeries that you can't
Speaker 1: come back from with with that, certain women have done,
Speaker 1: certain lives, certain face lives where there's like you buy
Speaker 1: a home, you can't come back from that. No one goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you bought this home, like that's a that's a life
Speaker 1: changing decision. Of course, yes you can sell it and
Speaker 1: you can move on, but like that could bankrupt you
Speaker 1: in a way, like that bankrupt your face. And people
Speaker 1: don't get mad at people for doing that. I'm not mad.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just fucking angry. No, I I honestly
Speaker 1: like I want I just it's not about mad. It's
Speaker 1: like I would feel hurt if you were hurt for
Speaker 1: making a decision like that. Yes, I would feel hurt too,
Speaker 1: and I would I would only do it if I
Speaker 1: knew how bad it could be, and like I'd be
Speaker 1: okay with the consequences, you know, like I could still
Speaker 1: love myself even if this went completely wrong, Like what
Speaker 1: if I did. I mean, if it if it's something
Speaker 1: that if it was like it's the same as buying shoes,
Speaker 1: like if you like a new pair of shoes, if
Speaker 1: that's what you want not what anyone wants to look like,
Speaker 1: but if that's what you want to look like, go
Speaker 1: ahead and be it. Okay, let's play Wild Card Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Are you just look like you're having an allergic reaction
Speaker 1: or crying and wiping your face? Yeah? Um, noah, what
Speaker 1: is the game we're playing today? Today? We're playing Finish
Speaker 1: my Sentence. Yes, that's where we try to finish each
Speaker 1: other's sentences, thinking of what we would say for this
Speaker 1: and what is the sentence that we're completing. Okay, I
Speaker 1: could talk for hours about and the disclaimer is you
Speaker 1: can't answer golf and you can't answer Taylor Swift. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do Noah first, I'm gonna be Noah. Oh
Speaker 1: I'm in this too. Yeah. You just got in. You
Speaker 1: just got you got you conducted into the Finish my
Speaker 1: Line Hall of Fame. Okay, Wait, I could talk. I
Speaker 1: could talk for hours about um well jiu jitsu, I think,
Speaker 1: but I could talk for hours about what what moving
Speaker 1: to Arizona has done for my life and what positive
Speaker 1: effects just doing the hard thing and standing up for
Speaker 1: myself has done for my life and like and by
Speaker 1: the way, that was sounded like me making fun of you.
Speaker 1: But no, I like talking about that stuff too, and
Speaker 1: I love that you can expound on those topics now,
Speaker 1: So m uh that seems mean. So anyways, I was, um,
Speaker 1: I don't really have many things to say. I'm a
Speaker 1: little nervous about this. But my house. I love talking
Speaker 1: about my house. I don't know. I never talked about
Speaker 1: my house. No, you don't say one thing about her house.
Speaker 1: She always says, I don't know what to do with
Speaker 1: the house. I own a house now and I don't
Speaker 1: name one detail of her house. She bought a house.
Speaker 1: I think you talk about your house. No, I could
Speaker 1: talk Okay, Andrew, Wait, there's no way. Yeah, so I lost.
Speaker 1: Nicky won that round. That's like totally thing I have
Speaker 1: to say. Okay, Andrew, do you want to do me? Um,
Speaker 1: you go first. I could talk for hour. I'm Andrew.
Speaker 1: I could talk for hours about people who do fucking
Speaker 1: ship that just like it's just like some people's like
Speaker 1: fucking they're fucking like the way they fucking say some
Speaker 1: stuff like sometimes like the way people fucking talk it
Speaker 1: just makes me want to fucking fucking kill them, and
Speaker 1: a fucking just like I hate the way people like,
Speaker 1: why do you have to be the fucking way that
Speaker 1: sometimes just like the way people fucking just talk. It's
Speaker 1: just like, that's that's what you can talk about. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what you're saying, but it's the way
Speaker 1: you fucking do this thing when they fucking do this,
Speaker 1: And I think that's a side maybe that people don't
Speaker 1: know of you, but like you can get pretty upset
Speaker 1: about this fucking posts that these guys do. I think
Speaker 1: they're so fucking cool. You can talk about guys, Yeah, people,
Speaker 1: You can talk a lot about people who think they're
Speaker 1: cool essentially. Yeah, kind of things you see on TikTok.
Speaker 1: All right, no, do you want to do me? Well?
Speaker 1: I was going to say stuff that you see people
Speaker 1: doing on your Instagram feed that annoys you, right, that
Speaker 1: annoys you or you like or just like just like
Speaker 1: what other people are doing on't you head of the
Speaker 1: like thing as it went to be winter Winter chicken dinner,
Speaker 1: um ship. I mean, I know that's the thing. It's
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to find something that's like you've enough
Speaker 1: to answer this. For some reason, I read the Hi
Speaker 1: I'm Niki. Hi, I'm Nikki, and I like to talk
Speaker 1: about Stocks. I love nas dec I lovedal love how
Speaker 1: it goes up and go down. It goes up and
Speaker 1: then it goes down, and then I think about how
Speaker 1: that affects my life and how what gave me a
Speaker 1: great line the other day about dal Jones down syndrome. Wait,
Speaker 1: wait down when it comes to stocks, you have down syndrome,
Speaker 1: down syndrome. Yes, guys, look for that line in my acts.
Speaker 1: That's really good. No. I was going to do it
Speaker 1: the other night and I forgot to do it, but
Speaker 1: that was such a good bit. It was about like
Speaker 1: certain apps on your phone that you will never get
Speaker 1: rid of, even because I'm just talking about like when
Speaker 1: you when you remove an app, they all are like,
Speaker 1: are you going to delete me? And you go, no,
Speaker 1: You're You're okay, Calculator, like you can't. I can't delete
Speaker 1: you Stocks, I can't delete you. Trying to think of
Speaker 1: what's a good example of an app that like you
Speaker 1: absolutely I feel like Starbucks will always be there for you.
Speaker 1: What's what can I look at your apps on your
Speaker 1: phone real quick when we move into final thought, Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, final thought, Here look at my app if
Speaker 1: you want to as well. Nothing really that great, though, wait,
Speaker 1: let me see yours. Oh you know what I might
Speaker 1: do this weekend? Well, so all too well, um or sorry.
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift is coming out with her red re release,
Speaker 1: and UM, I might do I might start a um
Speaker 1: YouTube page of me reacting to Taylor Swift things I've
Speaker 1: never done, like a reaction. But all you have to
Speaker 1: do is watch it and just say is ship. You
Speaker 1: know what you can do on TikTok You can do
Speaker 1: duets where it's like on the side. I yan yang,
Speaker 1: I might do that. What's beyond menu? I'm looking at
Speaker 1: your apps? Um, I don't know it, says b M.
Speaker 1: Is that just a way to log your ships a
Speaker 1: log log? Um? Okay, you have task Rabbit, which I'm
Speaker 1: guessing you have not used ever, how much do you
Speaker 1: use ESPN? I need a task rabbit to get my
Speaker 1: task rabbit? H Espn, I give that a decent amount.
Speaker 1: You have nothing really that crazy here? M flixter could
Speaker 1: go flickster, can go erase that bitch? Right now? I
Speaker 1: want to look at your activity? Can I see it?
Speaker 1: Because I told you to turn it on? S time? Okay? Okay,
Speaker 1: daily average you're doing eight hours twenty seven minutes. That um, Instagram.
Speaker 1: You're spending Oh god, I don't even want I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to day. I was on week. TikTok. You're on
Speaker 1: to wait on eight hours for a week. Uh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no day dude, today, let's go to days. That's yesterday.
Speaker 1: It was your day off, you know, ish right? Yeah? Um,
Speaker 1: yesterday you did eight hours and fifteen minutes on your phone.
Speaker 1: Do you go to mind? Yeah? So you have the
Speaker 1: you have Sephora, you have the Arch, the Arch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's some of the very morning. I mean you have
Speaker 1: a lot of smart things. You have like New York Times.
Speaker 1: Do you have the New York You have the New Yorker? Yea,
Speaker 1: all the New York the New York Post. Then we
Speaker 1: have like ninety airplanes, Airbnb, Car Gurus, car Guru, it's
Speaker 1: just a great car app when you're looking for a
Speaker 1: used car. What's so It's up? You know a clothing
Speaker 1: brand that I don't actually use that clue? Clue? Is um?
Speaker 1: A period tracker app? Yeah? I'm a higher fertility day.
Speaker 1: I had to take the morning what is it? Pet finer?
Speaker 1: Looking for a bird? Okay, that's like you know a
Speaker 1: dating app for birds. Letting go letting Go is a
Speaker 1: an app where you it's it's a it's alan On Literature,
Speaker 1: which is I'm not an alan On, but it's um.
Speaker 1: It's a great little daily reader, and so if you
Speaker 1: open it, it'll tell you, like today's lesson. It just
Speaker 1: teaches you about how like accept yourself and accept others.
Speaker 1: And some days I just like need it. And yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So your Instagram yesterday you were on, that was your
Speaker 1: most used one two hours and ten minutes. YouTube um
Speaker 1: an hour and for seven minutes, TikTok our nine minutes,
Speaker 1: Google Maps fifty eight minutes, so I'm guessing you were
Speaker 1: just had that up while that can count. And then
Speaker 1: messages thirty three minutes, Safari thirty one minutes, Gmail twenties
Speaker 1: two minutes. And then we go on and it gets
Speaker 1: you know, ESPN three minutes, um, strip chat dot com
Speaker 1: really five minutes. I wonder what that's from porn hub
Speaker 1: six minutes. That's exactly how long it takes me to come.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. Wait, go to minutes a day yesterday that
Speaker 1: it took me five minutes on strip chat. Strip chat
Speaker 1: came before first of all. Strip Chat. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: like I don't chat. It was at six am that
Speaker 1: came up. Probably was at six am. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: early riser. Wait, let me see wait where is yours?
Speaker 1: I'll find it. Oh my god, your phone is so tiny.
Speaker 1: I like it. Yeah, that's a cuteie. Okay, screen time, Um,
Speaker 1: you know what it is though, and I'm not just
Speaker 1: like saying strip check comes up when you put a
Speaker 1: porn hub. That makes sense. Okay, So it was six minutes. Um,
Speaker 1: I want to go to a day off. Um, so
Speaker 1: I have to go back to two thousand eight. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: because when um, no, I'll go to um. Yesterday I
Speaker 1: was ten hours and fifty eight minutes on my phone. Now,
Speaker 1: let me break that down for you, because that is
Speaker 1: not what you think it is. Most used messages was yeah, yeah, please,
Speaker 1: here we go. That doesn't Hold on, wait a second,
Speaker 1: this doesn't make sense for ten hours, I mean, what
Speaker 1: the funk was That doesn't make sense? Oh? This is
Speaker 1: doing show categories. Okay, wait what was my Instagram? Was that? Wait?
Speaker 1: More than two hours? Okay, hold on, but this is
Speaker 1: no Instagram was three hours and three up to This
Speaker 1: doesn't add up to ten hours. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what I was doing on Instagram. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: on TikTok wait more, maybe it does. No, this does
Speaker 1: not add up to ten hours. There's no way that
Speaker 1: this is ten hours. So I think all the extra
Speaker 1: time was my white app noise show today. Why is
Speaker 1: not that that could be it if you have your
Speaker 1: phone running overnight. Yes, that's that's why I have these
Speaker 1: kinds of numbers. Um for sure. But oh, I see
Speaker 1: because I was doing social All right, here we go,
Speaker 1: so today, then we're going to go yesterday ten hours
Speaker 1: and fifty eight minutes, um three four five. That's only
Speaker 1: five hours? What was the rest doing? This doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: But you can just read my times. It was not
Speaker 1: ten hours. You can read all my times there. All right,
Speaker 1: your top is Reddit an hour and ten minutes, now
Speaker 1: do you Okay? Go to bed Instagram fifty nine minutes.
Speaker 1: It's not bad at all. Ways. Is your thing camera
Speaker 1: thirty six minutes? That's surprising. I think I was editing.
Speaker 1: Um oh, I was getting photos from the Bruce Bruce
Speaker 1: Springsteen thing and I was like editing photos. And this
Speaker 1: is my favorite part so far. You got camera, You
Speaker 1: got a camera thirty six to four Safari twenty books.
Speaker 1: At least I read for a fifteen minutes yesterday. That's
Speaker 1: not bad. I know, it's just funny. It's just even
Speaker 1: you don't even know what well. I was on the
Speaker 1: plane and that's when I fell asleep. Was fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: of reading reading. I'm reading, um god, what was it?
Speaker 1: It was David Spate's book. I'm rereading What's r tr
Speaker 1: rent a runway? Okay? Snap seed? That's a photo editing.
Speaker 1: I mean other than that, you're not You didn't do
Speaker 1: any porn yesterday? No, no, no, I don't. I haven't
Speaker 1: had time to jerk off recently. But you're getting laid
Speaker 1: I am. It's pretty nice. I mean nothing now is
Speaker 1: really jumps out at me. Here note seventeen seconds, so
Speaker 1: you're writing a lot. I wrote down something I would
Speaker 1: love to see. What is I with? Seventeen seconds? Wrotes
Speaker 1: that's Nikki's writing process. That was from today. Oh it
Speaker 1: was a new word that I put in that I
Speaker 1: just learned in Susian. Oh. I like that. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: sounds like do you know what it means? Yeah? Um,
Speaker 1: neither do I. Um, I have to look it up.
Speaker 1: It says, showing a casual lack of concern said something
Speaker 1: fake because studio. The other day, my mom said, we
Speaker 1: have to go to aunt Lynd's house and we're going
Speaker 1: to go there and surmise the situation. She said, I
Speaker 1: let it go. The first time she goes, we just
Speaker 1: gotta go there and surmise the situation. And I go,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, that's not the right word. And she goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad, she's going to surmise situation. I go, no,
Speaker 1: it's not and he goes, uh, Sirie, give me the
Speaker 1: definition of surmise. And it was like to um, guess
Speaker 1: about something that you don't know. It's like I'm gonna guess,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna surve I'm going to guess. I will surmise
Speaker 1: that you are thinking that something I don't know. So
Speaker 1: for my mom to go walk into Len's place and surmise,
Speaker 1: so you mean assess and she goes yes. And so
Speaker 1: even today she goes, we're over here surmising. It sounds
Speaker 1: like she's like trying to figure like the detective work,
Speaker 1: I'm figure out how your aunt passed away. I just
Speaker 1: love when someone gets a new word that they're just
Speaker 1: they're a little trigger happy on I've never done I
Speaker 1: swear to god, I've never learned a new word and
Speaker 1: used it like daring conversation. Yeah, like where I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: look at this word. Maybe you seem like someone who
Speaker 1: would like new words. Erroneous, I like that word. You
Speaker 1: don't seem like someone at all, it was seriously, Andrew,
Speaker 1: you seem like someone who like has a just thirst
Speaker 1: and for new vocabulary and complex concepts. Al Right, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to the show. We
Speaker 1: gotta go. Oh my god, Luigi when we are wrapping
Speaker 1: things up. He's so cute. Guys, check out our video.
Speaker 1: If to watch Luigi, watch the podcast. Um It's on
Speaker 1: YouTube now. Please go watch and support us to get
Speaker 1: our numbers up on there. We would love it. Um
Speaker 1: rate and review us. Just subscribe over there. That would
Speaker 1: be awesome. And thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Thank you for being with us during our
Speaker 1: little argument today. It means so much to us that
Speaker 1: you still put up with us despite us being imperfect.
Speaker 1: And I feel the same way about you, guys. Um,
Speaker 1: I love you, Thank you, and we'll see tomorrow. Don't
Speaker 1: be kid and Jack the Snowman wait Jack Frost Jack
Speaker 1: name Jack or frosty talk sure,