1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: Today on the bright Side, we're kicking off with a 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: legendary goalkeeper, World Cup champion, and a woman who inspires 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: us all to live more unapologetically. Ashland Harris is here, y'all, 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: and she's opening up about the beauty of embracing the 5 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: soft life, the true cost of pursuing greatness, plus the 6 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: best gift she's ever received from her partner, Sophia Bush. 7 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 2: I think the bright side is really living life again 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 2: and understanding who I am in this new journey, and 9 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,880 Speaker 2: learning that I don't have to suffer like I don't 10 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 2: have to put myself in pain to feel alive. 11 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: I'm simoone voice, and this is the bright side from 12 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 1: Hell of Sunshine. Let's get into today's guest. Ashland Harris 13 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: is a force. You know her as the former goalkeeper 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: for the US women's national team, a two time World 15 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: Cup champion, an Olympian, and a Cocoa Beach, Florida native 16 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: who played one of the most pressurized positions in all 17 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: of sports. Now, I've dealt with pressure in my own work, 18 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: but not like that. So heading into this conversation, I 19 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: was really curious what drives someone like that, What makes 20 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: a finely tuned machine like Ashland Harris tick. But to 21 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: be honest, I quickly realized this wasn't going to be 22 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: the conversation that I expected. Ashland is in the middle 23 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: of a huge transformation. She is letting go of this 24 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: identity that she built up over the course of many 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: years as an athlete on the world stage. The confidence, 26 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: the swagger, the pursuit of greatness, that's all still there. 27 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: Her mindset and priorities have shifted, though, and they're still shifting, 28 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: so I had to shift too. You're about to hear 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: the contrast between who Ashland used to be and who 30 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: she's becoming. These days. She's all about connection, presence, and peace, 31 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: lots of peace, and that piece is even more precious 32 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: now after becoming the subject of intense tabloid scrutiny during 33 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 1: a highly publicized divorce. She's a mom of two who 34 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: plays hard, a girl after my own heart in that respect. 35 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: She's head over heels for her partner, Sophia Bush, and 36 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: she's living a life that looks very different from the 37 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: one that initially made her famous. But one thing that 38 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: hasn't changed is her heart for justice. Ashland is still 39 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: showing up for LGBTQ plus rights for mental health and 40 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: for equal pay in women's sports, and that unfiltered, soul 41 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: led energy is at the heart of her new podcast, 42 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: Wide Open. So in sports, that term being wide open 43 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: means you're ready for anything. It's literally a chance to 44 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: change the game. And that's exactly what she's doing. Through honest, 45 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: unfiltered conversations with heavy hitters across sports, fashion, music, entertainment, 46 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: Ashland is helping all of us redefine what it means 47 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: to win and wherever you are on your own reinvention journey, 48 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: I think the lessons she's learning now are things we 49 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: can all take with us in our own lives. Ashland, 50 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 1: Welcome to the bright Side. 51 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. It's good to be here. 52 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: Well, it's so good to have you. You know. I've 53 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: run into you a couple of times, both at our 54 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: podcast studios and then at events. I don't know if 55 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: you remember this, but I remember a conversation that we 56 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: had in the bathroom at a Laurel Award show, and 57 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: you are wearing this incredible suit and tie and we 58 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: kind of got talking about how powerful it feels to 59 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: wear suits. 60 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: Power suits are everything for me. 61 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: They really are what is it for you? Like, what 62 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: is the feeling about wearing a suit and tie that 63 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: just like does it for you? 64 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: Well, I would never be caught in address, so we'll 65 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 2: start there, or maybe I would. I don't know. I'm 66 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 2: very open these days for whatever is fashion forward and cheap. 67 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 2: But I just like I feel good in a suit. 68 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 2: I feel comfortable and it's where I feel at my 69 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: best to move in the spaces I need to move. 70 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 2: And for me, if I feel good, then I'm like 71 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 2: in a good place to operate as like my full self. 72 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: I feel you on that. I feel so much safer 73 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: in a suit and so much more comfortable whether it's 74 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: suit or pants. But I don't know, it's just it's 75 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: like you were saying, like I feel like I can 76 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: move around in it a bit better. But for me personally, 77 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 1: when I started wearing ties with a suit, that like 78 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: unlocked a new level of confidence for me, and I 79 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: was like, Oh, this is what it feels like to 80 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,799 Speaker 1: be a powerful man. 81 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 2: And a lot more comfortable. Can you imagine that? Yes? 82 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 1: Exactly. And also what I've realized with ties and suits 83 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: is you have so many more possibilities you can mix 84 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 1: and match if you just have the blazer and the 85 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: pants and the button down shirt underneath, and then different 86 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: ties you can switch them up. I'm like, this is 87 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: how men have been dressing for all of eternity. This 88 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: is so much easier. 89 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: Imagine that the hacks we're not meant for us. 90 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: Seriously, but I'm now we're claiming them as are own. 91 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 2: Yes we are. I've been in suits for a very 92 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 2: long time. I actually just got another three to the 93 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 2: house today, a custom suit. Chess kiss, chess kiss. When 94 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: you saw me, that was an oversized look for me. 95 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,119 Speaker 2: I usually when I'm working, I'm like, you could peel 96 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 2: them off my body. But when I'm like chic elegant mode, 97 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 2: I'm okay with like a baggy fun moment. But not 98 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 2: when I work. When I work, I am like tailored 99 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 2: to a. 100 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: T dandy baby, gotta keep a dandy. I know that 101 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: you're always telling a story through your fashion choices. What 102 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: do you think is the story that you're telling through 103 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: your fashion these days? 104 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 2: I think we all should get to a point where 105 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 2: self ex expression is so important and valuable to us individually, 106 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 2: because when you show up to the spaces you want 107 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 2: to show up. It really tells a story about who 108 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 2: you are and why you move the way you do. 109 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 2: So for me be an authentic You know, I really 110 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 2: dress based on my mood for the day. There's not 111 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 2: a real rhyme or reason, and it's just like, if 112 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 2: I'm feeling viby and I'm feeling vibrant, I will be 113 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 2: a lot more colorful. And I think what people neglect 114 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 2: to realize is the way you show up tells a 115 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 2: lot about who you are, whether I'm in front of 116 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 2: the camera or behind it. I dress a certain way 117 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 2: based on how I want people to take me seriously, 118 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 2: and that really matters to me. I'm a very very 119 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 2: professional dresser. I go over the top, but that's just 120 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 2: who I am, And I know we live in a 121 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 2: world where the first thing people are gonna check is 122 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 2: my appearance. So I make sure like I'm very comfortable 123 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: and I'm purposeful and all of these things matter because 124 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 2: I walk into important rooms and I want the respect 125 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,239 Speaker 2: like I deserve. 126 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: So does Ashlyn Harris own a pair of sweatpants? Is 127 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: this the thing? 128 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 2: Listen? I could put sweatpants on and have a suit jacket, yeah, 129 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 2: and a button up shirt and a tie with a 130 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: pair of like nice penny loafers, and we keep it pushing, 131 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 2: like even now, there's no reason why I need have 132 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: dress pants on, dress socks on, and nice shoes you'll 133 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 2: never see them. 134 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: This is how I took my kids to school. Wow, Okay, 135 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: so clearly I'm a type B mom. You're type A 136 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: mom because what I wear to what I wear to 137 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: school drop off could best be described as like goblin 138 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: mode goes outside. I do have my moments where I 139 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: can I can dress it up a little bit, but 140 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: mad respect, mad respect dashlyn. 141 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's a thing. And you know what, like 142 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 2: I dress my kids up for school, and I do 143 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 2: their hair every day, and I do my son's hair, 144 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 2: and like I not that I want them to be superficial, 145 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 2: but like I want them to feel good going to school. 146 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 2: And like, you know, I grew up having hand me 147 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 2: down a lot from my brother, or shopping secondhand or 148 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 2: getting shoes at payless. Yeah, and like I know the 149 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 2: toll it takes on young kids, the bullying when you 150 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 2: come into school. And my clothes were oversized because my 151 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 2: brother was much bigger than I was, And like I 152 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 2: know the toll that took on my self confidence so like, 153 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,959 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's more for me and healing 154 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 2: my pain from my childhood, or like, I just don't 155 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 2: want my kids to go through that, and I want 156 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: them to, like, you know, feel good when they go 157 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 2: to school and feel that. You know, today my daughter 158 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 2: picked out a beautiful little pink, purple, sparkly dress, and 159 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 2: I have her in some Jordan dunks, or I have 160 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 2: her in some crisp white Chucks, like I just you know, 161 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 2: and I get her a little side, little Hello Kitty 162 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 2: bag that pulls it all together, and it's like it's 163 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 2: fun for us. And I'll do her makeup. I'll do 164 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 2: my son's makeup. They have these little Hello Kitty makeup things, 165 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 2: and I'll paint their nails. 166 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 1: It's also just. 167 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: Like time to be with my children and show up totally. 168 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: And I think instilling that sense of self expression in 169 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: them is so important. I heard somewhere that a mom 170 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: telling their daughter that they look beautiful, or telling their 171 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: son that they look handsome, or just just gassing up 172 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: your kids in that way is so important for them 173 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: and it really sticks with them. 174 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, i think it's important for them to love themselves 175 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 2: first and foremost, you know, It's like I have a 176 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 2: mirror that's like right in the doorway in the entryway 177 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: and almost like slow and go, look how beautiful you look. 178 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 2: And she's like, oh my god, my hair, my skin. 179 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 2: And now my kids are like on this obsessive they 180 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: want tattoos. So I do the little fake tattoos on them, 181 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: and we just like we love doing the most. We 182 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 2: definitely don't do the least. 183 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: What's your policy on tattoos? When is the age when 184 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: you'll give them the green light? 185 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: I know what I was like, and I told my 186 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 2: mother at seventeen, you have two options. You can take 187 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 2: me to the tattoo place and sign off on it, 188 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 2: or I'll do it in a garage at a friend's house, 189 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 2: very low sanitary, and I don't know how this is 190 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 2: gonna end up. So we have we can fluctuate because 191 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 2: either way I'm doing it. And that's just kind of 192 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 2: like the mentality I had. I was like, I'm gonna 193 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 2: be real honest with you, Mom. We can either do 194 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 2: this like really professionally or not from then on out. 195 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 2: I am not kidding you. My mom, for every hull, 196 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 2: every birthday, anything was like a gift certificate to my 197 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 2: favorite tattoo shop when I grew up, which was called 198 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 2: against the grain in my town. And she just knew. 199 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,680 Speaker 2: She was like, I'm this kid is so wild and reckless, 200 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 2: Like I do not need her getting like prison tattoos. 201 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: Like just go here, here's a gift card two hundred bucks. 202 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 2: It'll start you out just fine, Ashland. 203 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: This story reaffirms to me that you did not have 204 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: a black mom growing up, because if you had a 205 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: black mom like I did, and you gave her those 206 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,719 Speaker 1: two options, Mom, you can either drive me to the 207 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: tattoo place or I'm gonna go get a tattooed myself. 208 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: Do you know I would have gotten my ass whoa whoa. 209 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 2: My mom, Listen, she she knows I don't mess around, 210 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 2: and she I grew up playing in boys sports and 211 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 2: no one respected or took me seriously. 212 00:11:54,400 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: We'll be back with more after this quick break, and 213 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 1: we're back. So fast forward a few years. You become 214 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: a professional soccer player, and I know that the wages 215 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,320 Speaker 1: for women, for female athletes aren't anywhere near where they 216 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: should be, but I imagine that you started to get 217 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: a taste of like what getting money for the first 218 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: time could look like. You know like what financial freedom 219 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: could possibly look like. So coming from that background, what 220 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: was that feeling like of having money for the first time. 221 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: Well, I didn't at the beginning of my career. We 222 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 2: just weren't paid very well. And what I knew more 223 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 2: than anyone was to make the most of the situation. 224 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 2: And I hustled. And I learned to hustle at a 225 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 2: very very early age. I mean I remember in middle 226 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 2: school and high school. I used to shoot dice all 227 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 2: the time in school to take people's like lunch money, 228 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 2: And I mean I could get like twenty five bucks 229 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 2: a day just cooking people and shooting dice. So to 230 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 2: give you perspective, I signed my first contract, I think 231 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 2: it was two thousand and nine, was my first professional contract, 232 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 2: and I believe I made twenty thousand dollars or twenty 233 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 2: five thousand dollars for the season. And I was already 234 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 2: playing for the Like I was on the US team. 235 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 2: I was four time All American in high school, like 236 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 2: went to University of North Carolina, won three national championships. 237 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 2: Like I was doing all right. But what I learned 238 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 2: from my background and my upbringing is how to hustle. 239 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 2: And when everyone was so focused on sports and the 240 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 2: game and this and that. I'm like, how am I 241 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: gonna make money? 242 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: Like? 243 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 2: I started hustling with coaching, and I would create like 244 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 2: six person coaching clinics and I would up social media, 245 00:13:56,720 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 2: came out, people liked the way I look, It mattered 246 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 2: what I said, and I was like, started cooking up 247 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,199 Speaker 2: how to be an influencer, how to get brand ambassador deals, 248 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,839 Speaker 2: and then I didn't have to rely on the money. 249 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 2: I wasn't clearly being paid and I just started making 250 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 2: a lot of money outside of it. 251 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 1: I know that you love fashion, So do you remember 252 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: what was the first big ticket item that you purchased 253 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: with your paycheck that you hustled for? Yeah? 254 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 2: And I still have it because it reminds me every 255 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 2: day of where I came from and where I want 256 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 2: to go. I didn't come from anything. I definitely my 257 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 2: parents were not shopping in department stores and didn't even 258 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 2: know what the hell a department store was. When I 259 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 2: showed up to college, I didn't know a lot of things. 260 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 2: I didn't know really nice brands because that's not the 261 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 2: way my family operated. And one of my roommates and 262 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 2: close teammates came from La. She showed up with these 263 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 2: chic like Chanelle glasses. I don't know what the hell 264 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 2: that was, and these really nice expensive jeens and really 265 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 2: put together and she you know, and a few of 266 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 2: my my teammates had these like nice Michelle watches, which 267 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 2: to me was like a Rolex because didn't even know 268 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 2: what the fucking role X was at the time. When 269 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,239 Speaker 2: I got my first paycheck, I went to like Nordstrum 270 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 2: and I bought a Michelle watch and that was It 271 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 2: was literally my entire month's salary and I. 272 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: Still have it. 273 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 2: It's like just a sweet reminder of the importance of 274 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: like I wanted to do that for myself because I 275 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 2: wanted to fit in, but also to show myself what 276 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 2: is possible. You know, if you work hard enough, you 277 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 2: can buy these things for yourself. And I didn't put 278 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 2: that much like value on it. Besides, it's a reminder 279 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 2: every day of why I do what I do. Yeah, 280 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 2: but it also reminds me of where I've come from 281 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: value it holds in my heart. It's bigger and better 282 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 2: than any watch I could ever buy at this point. 283 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: I love that I've talked to other olympians and athletes 284 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: about the symbolism of winning, So I'd love to ask 285 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: you about that. A track athlete once told me that 286 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: crossing the finish line there was there was some symbolism 287 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: behind that, and that she almost used it as a visualization, 288 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: like there was something or someone waiting for her on 289 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 1: the other side as she crossed that finish line. Was 290 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 1: there ever a deeper meaning behind winning for you? What 291 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: did winning symbolize for you as an athlete? 292 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 2: I think when we get too caught up in the 293 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: winning and the losing part of sports, and we measure 294 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 2: our success based on winning and losing, we're really failing 295 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 2: ourselves in terms of the journey it took to get there. 296 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 2: My worth is not wrapped up in how many things 297 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: I've won. Nothing in my house. If you walked into 298 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 2: my house, you would never know I live here. There's 299 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 2: not one jersey on a wall. I have one award 300 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 2: that's like a queer icon award that means the most 301 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:17,199 Speaker 2: to me of like standing up for my community. But 302 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 2: I don't put value on winning or losing, because what 303 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 2: I came to realize is I valued winning so much 304 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 2: that once I won my first World Cup, after it 305 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:32,680 Speaker 2: was over, I was like that's it. I get this little, dainty, 306 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 2: little gold metal that doesn't bring me any joy. It's 307 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 2: actually somewhere collecting dust in a ziploc bag and my closet. 308 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 2: It's just if you put too much into that, you 309 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 2: forget the process and journey that led you to the 310 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 2: moment of greatness. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness. 311 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 2: It's the journey. It's the people, it's the failures, it's 312 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 2: the heart, it's all the shit in between. It's the 313 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 2: little moments. It's not always the big moments that stick 314 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 2: with me the most. So I don't really put too 315 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 2: much hard concrete worth into winning. I think it's a 316 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 2: slippery slope and I know what it's like on the 317 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 2: other side, and like, I put so much into it, 318 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: and then once it was over, I got the blues 319 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 2: and I was like, this is it. It's a good 320 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 2: reality check. 321 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: I think that's such a refreshing reminder because even if 322 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: you're not a professional athlete, I've personally struggled with entangling 323 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 1: my identity with my work. And then when the work 324 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: goes away, or when you have kids, for example, and 325 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 1: you have to re examine your relationship with work. Then 326 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: it's like, oh, I can't rely on that source of 327 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: validation anymore. 328 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think you get to a point where 329 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,360 Speaker 2: you realize the more rooms you walk into, no one 330 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 2: gives a shit what you do. People care about how 331 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 2: you make them feel, eat them like. I'm not above anyone. 332 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 2: I'm not above the people that clean floors or serve 333 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 2: me food. Like how I treat people matters, and I'm 334 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 2: not above anyone based on some bullshit trophy of one 335 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 2: here or there. 336 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,960 Speaker 1: When you said pursuit of greatness, that made me think 337 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: about Timothy Chalomey's speech at the Sagawards, where he was 338 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 1: very candid about wanting to be one of the greats, 339 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:31,640 Speaker 1: and it really elicited mixed responses from people. Some people 340 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: said that he was too brash to do that, some 341 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: people celebrated it. Do you think that we should be 342 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: more open about our pursuit of greatness? What was your 343 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 1: reaction to his speech. 344 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's bravery. I think people are too 345 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 2: fearful to say the hard things in case they don't 346 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 2: live up to the expectation. That's the whole point of 347 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 2: the pursuit of greatness. Not everyone is going to make 348 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 2: it to the top. The air is then at the top, 349 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,440 Speaker 2: it's hard to survive. At the top, all eyes are 350 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 2: on you, there's more judgment. You know, everyone wants to 351 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 2: be rich and famous until you're famous, and you're like, 352 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: I don't want to be famous at all. It's like, 353 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:16,199 Speaker 2: it's an interesting complexity that you know, I respect. Listen, 354 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: you know you don't know until you try, and being 355 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 2: bold enough to say I'm on the pursuit of it 356 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 2: holds you accountable. You know, you can't cut corners, can't 357 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 2: expect things just to fall onto your lap. You have 358 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 2: to work for it. 359 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: You have to do the. 360 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: Shit other people aren't willing to do. There's no secret sauce. 361 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 2: Everyone is so fearful about failing. They push their own 362 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 2: judgment and own expectations on you. So don't you don't 363 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 2: chase the greatness. That's not my burden to carry. 364 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 1: It's so true. And I think those projections really come out. 365 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: I've really seen them come out whenever I'm making a 366 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: big life pivot, whenever I'm in the midst of reinvention. 367 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: And I'd love to hear from you, what's the pivot 368 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 1: you're most proud of. 369 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 2: I'm learning and evolving. Every day I'm constantly pivoting. I'm 370 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 2: I'm on this journey of self healing and self discovery 371 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,680 Speaker 2: and this like who am I outside of soccer? Who 372 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 2: am I outside of being a mom? And I think 373 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 2: it's such a beautiful, fun challenge. Like I'm so grateful 374 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 2: every day to wake up and be like, hey, I 375 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 2: have another shot at this, because like one thing money 376 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 2: can buy is time and health, and and the fact 377 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,640 Speaker 2: that I have that in this moment, I don't want 378 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 2: to waste it. So every day I'm real like I'm 379 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 2: rediscovering something beautiful and something unexpected from very small, minor 380 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 2: things that aren't mind changing, but for me, like I 381 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,679 Speaker 2: find beauty and like that's just simple normal things in 382 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 2: life because my life is so big and I'm able 383 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 2: to go to all of these events where we walk 384 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 2: into the bathroom and God knows who's at this lorial event, 385 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:11,360 Speaker 2: but for me and my beauty comes in like very normal, 386 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 2: minimal moments like I love cooking for my family. I 387 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 2: love the chaos of my children running around in the house. 388 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,640 Speaker 2: So are my four year old crawling into bed with 389 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 2: me this morning and like trying to peel open my eyes, 390 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 2: like those keep me wanting to be better, better version 391 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 2: of myself for them, for my partner, for my friends, 392 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 2: and for myself. I just hold tight on the things 393 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 2: that matter the most, and that's my partnership and my 394 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 2: children and my family and this life I'm building and 395 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,959 Speaker 2: every day it changes. 396 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 1: What's been the biggest learning for you on this healing journey, 397 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 1: in this journey of self discovery. 398 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 2: Probably just the swings of the good days and the 399 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,159 Speaker 2: bad days and finding beauty in both. I think at 400 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 2: the end of my care I was chasing like happiness 401 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 2: and joy, and now that I have tried that and 402 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 2: to reshift my life and my mindset, I am like, 403 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 2: I just want peace. And it's not a place of searching, 404 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 2: it's just a place of being and I just want 405 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: to be in peace. And then that started with me, 406 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 2: you know, buying a place in the woods and bringing 407 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 2: my kids and peeling everything away and just playing like 408 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 2: why as an adult, why can't we play. I'm on 409 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 2: that trampline with the kids. I'm rolling around in mud 410 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 2: pits with the kids. I'm making s'mores until my stomach 411 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 2: hurts and I'm bent over Like that to me is 412 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 2: joy and peace instead of chasing this pursuit of excellence 413 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 2: and money. And yeah, like I just I'm good. 414 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,399 Speaker 1: We've got to take a quick break, but we'll be 415 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:04,719 Speaker 1: right back. Welcome back to the show. I admire the 416 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 1: way that you show up in the world, Ashland. You 417 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 1: always show up with a sense of authenticity and vulnerability 418 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: that I think is inspiring to a lot of people. 419 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's why a lot of people are 420 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: attracted to you and what you have to say. I 421 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: also know that, and you've alluded to this, that you 422 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 1: know it is. It can be toxic being a public 423 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 1: figure right now, and everyone has a microphone, whether they 424 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: deserve it or not. And I'm curious if you've ever 425 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:39,159 Speaker 1: felt pressure to maintain a certain image while dealing with 426 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: your own humanity behind the scenes. 427 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 2: I don't even think about it, Honestly, I don't even 428 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 2: think about that. I'm living my life every day. I'm 429 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 2: just opening the doors for people to get ten percent 430 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 2: of it, and they think that they know ninety five 431 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 2: percent of it. I live my life to the fullest 432 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 2: through the lens that I think is the best to 433 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 2: help people, help people who struggle, help people who don't 434 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:14,439 Speaker 2: feel like they're valued, and seeing in their home. I 435 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: fight for queer rights, I fight for women's rights. I 436 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:22,680 Speaker 2: fight for the rights of women in sports because purpose 437 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 2: matters to me, and every day when I am thinking 438 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,399 Speaker 2: of what my why is, it's always to make this 439 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 2: world better for my kids and make sure people who 440 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 2: lived my life don't have to work as hard as 441 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,919 Speaker 2: I had to and just be great at their craft. 442 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 2: And that's paying women right, whether it's in sports or 443 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,880 Speaker 2: women in this culture period. 444 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: You mentioned your advocacy for female athletes. What do you 445 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: think is the next frontier in that conversation, because we've 446 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: seen an explosion in audience interest in females over the 447 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: last year and a half. But where do you want 448 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 1: to see the conversation go next in terms of how 449 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,160 Speaker 1: we advocate for these women. 450 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 2: Pay them what they're worth. You know, before we didn't 451 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 2: have the numbers, we didn't have the resources. We weren't 452 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 2: checking the typical marketing and media standards in terms of output. 453 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 2: How much do you make, how much our ticket sales, 454 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 2: how much our media rights? Now we are so now, 455 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 2: what's the excuse we're still not paying women? It's like 456 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 2: it makes no sense to me. Page backers is still 457 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 2: making eighty thousand dollars a season. What are we talking about? 458 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 2: Like people are like, yeah, the Kaylin Clark makes twenty 459 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 2: five million outside of the WNBA. What about that? Oh, 460 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 2: so we're now normalizing that they can't just be paid adequately. 461 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 2: That now they've got to go work ten other jobs 462 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 2: on the one day off. They have to check all 463 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 2: these sponsors. Most men aren't even rolling out of bed 464 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 2: unless it's a seven figure deal. 465 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: What needs to happen, Like who are the gatekeepers that 466 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: need that need to actually change? Like who can we 467 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: hold accountable? 468 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 2: That's a great question. You know, visibility is there, which 469 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 2: it's never been. You turn on TV now you can 470 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 2: see women in sports. Now you're realizing, oh wow, everyone 471 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 2: is actually enjoying watching it. But these these TV rights 472 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,160 Speaker 2: they have to be substantial, they have to be easily 473 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 2: access because they want to make so much money in 474 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 2: the leagues, they're so fragmented. You know, back in the day, 475 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 2: it was like, oh, let's just sign this massive deal 476 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,119 Speaker 2: with T and T, and everyone knew where to find 477 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 2: and where to watch. You know, it really boils down 478 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 2: to streaming. The industry has changed so much it's really difficult. 479 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 2: So everyone kind of is on this roller coaster to 480 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 2: figure out, well, what does this mean and what do 481 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 2: we do next? 482 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,200 Speaker 1: Ashlyn and I want to end on a love note. 483 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 1: I want to talk about love. You mentioned that your 484 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: partnership with Sophia bush Is is very high priority in 485 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: your life. How are you two keeping things interesting? How 486 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: are you do you guys have regular date nights? This 487 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: is something me and my husband are always trying to 488 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: like nail down, like Okay, we got to do a 489 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: date night this week, and then life kind of like 490 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,920 Speaker 1: gets in the way. So are you too good about that? Yeah? 491 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 2: I think what makes us so great is we're so 492 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 2: vulnerable and open to conversation, Like when one of us 493 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,520 Speaker 2: definitely feels like okay, like I miss you, I'm with you, 494 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 2: but it's not like quality time. It's more so like 495 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,679 Speaker 2: flying here and schlepping here and events here. Like we 496 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 2: just have really really good communication where we're like, Okay, 497 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 2: let's clear the schedule, let's like have dinner, and even 498 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 2: last night we spoke about it. We're like, we've been 499 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 2: working a lot lately, traveling a lot. We need to 500 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 2: like spend a little bit more quality time doing the 501 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 2: things like we want to do and clear some hours 502 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 2: in the schedule to be spontaneous. Like I miss being 503 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 2: like really spontane. I miss just being like I'm gonna 504 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 2: get in the car and I'm gonna go, like go 505 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 2: here and go for a picnic or go check out 506 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 2: this place. Like I feel like as you get older, 507 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 2: you're so like scheduled and so routine, and I kind 508 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 2: of just want to be like, what about just like 509 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,960 Speaker 2: picking up and going somewhere. I do think the key 510 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 2: to us is being really locked and having really good 511 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 2: communication and finding and carving out time where we like 512 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 2: do fun things together, have date nights together, go on 513 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 2: a quick trip together, or like laugh our asses off, 514 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 2: or have a dance party. It doesn't have to be 515 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 2: so extravagant. It's just like a moment to reconnect, and 516 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 2: we value that. 517 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: What's your ideal date night or day date. 518 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 2: I really love cooking. I mean even tonight, I'm gonna 519 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,560 Speaker 2: grill some steaks and some chicken and have a glass 520 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 2: of wine and listen to music. And I just like 521 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 2: I love living the simple life because I just haven't 522 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 2: had that and life moves so quick and I really 523 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,719 Speaker 2: want to be and be present in these like sweet 524 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 2: little moments that you know, I get to have with 525 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 2: her and we get to watch like these young kids 526 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 2: grow up, and hearing the joy and their laughter and 527 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 2: having a really good time means the world to me. 528 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: Are you too a gift giving couple? Do you do 529 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 1: you give each other gifts on holidays and birthdays? Or 530 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,200 Speaker 1: gifts a big deal? 531 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 2: I'm an experienced person, Okay, is the best gift giver? 532 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 2: Like it actually stresses me out. 533 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: Oh So she's like so good that you feel the 534 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: pressure to kind of match her abilities. 535 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she's so thoughtful, she's so sweet. Like 536 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 2: she's one of those where she'll go, like I don't know, 537 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 2: wherever she needs to go for work or wherever for fun, 538 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: and then she's like, oh my god, this is the 539 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,720 Speaker 2: perfect gift for Tyler's birthday. And I'm like, awesome, when's 540 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 2: his birthday? Uh, like October? And she will hoard it 541 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 2: and hold it and package it until like each oh 542 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 2: this little clip is this money clip has an a 543 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 2: on it. It would be perfect for so and so, 544 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 2: And I'm just like, you're so thoughtful, Like I do 545 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 2: not think that way. When I'm like walking in and 546 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 2: I'm shopping, I'm like kids partner me. 547 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, So what's the best gift Sophia has ever gotten you? 548 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 2: Honestly, Like I know, it sounds so cheesy, but just 549 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 2: the way she shows up emotionally for me is honestly 550 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 2: the greatest gift. She is such a sweet, genuine soul. 551 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 2: She would like do anything for her people, and I 552 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 2: think that's so admirable for who she is and how 553 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 2: busy she is. She's so thoughtful and is always thinking 554 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 2: about other people, and I just think that's like a 555 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 2: beautiful gift and not many people have it. 556 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is okay. One last question for you, Ashlynn. 557 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 1: This is something that we ask all of our guests 558 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: here on the bright Side. Tell me about an area 559 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: of your life where you have found the bright side, 560 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: like an area that was maybe a challenge for you 561 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,120 Speaker 1: and recently you found the bright side of it, Or 562 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 1: tell me about an area of your life where you're 563 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,720 Speaker 1: currently searching for the bright side. 564 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,720 Speaker 2: That's a great question. It's interesting, right. I think for me, 565 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 2: I find as a professional athlete, I find so much 566 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:30,520 Speaker 2: that I'm very comfortable and chaos and I'm very comfortable 567 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 2: and suffering and darkness because you have to move differently 568 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 2: to live the life I lived as a professional athlete, 569 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 2: to choose to do it all over and over and 570 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 2: over and wake up every morning and do it again. 571 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 2: I'm learning now that life is so beautiful and life 572 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 2: is so colorful. I'm unlearning a lot of the things 573 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 2: in sport that made me great, but also has it 574 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 2: has made me a machee. And I think the bright 575 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 2: side is I'm experiencing life like truly for the first time. 576 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 2: I'm just like really experiencing life as a thirty nine 577 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 2: year old again. Like I get to go on trips, 578 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 2: I get to do things, and I get to like 579 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 2: be hungover. I mean, imagine that, wow, And like if 580 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: I don't want to work out, I don't have shame 581 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 2: and guilt. I don't punish myself. So I think the 582 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 2: bright side is really living life again and understanding who 583 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 2: I am in this new journey and learning that I 584 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 2: don't have to suffer, like I don't have to put 585 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,280 Speaker 2: myself in pain to feel alive. That like, there's so 586 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 2: much more beauty out there than how fast you can run, 587 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 2: how hard you can sweat, how sore you can feel. 588 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 2: Like I'm like I'm in a different place in my life. 589 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 2: I did that for far to too long, and I 590 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 2: know the toll it took on me and my mental 591 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 2: health and my body. And now I'm just being a 592 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 2: lot more gentle and kind and loving and moving through 593 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 2: the world with ease and light and really finding like 594 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 2: the bright side of what life can be outside of sport. 595 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: Is it fair to say Ashlyn Harris is embracing her 596 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 1: soft life era? Yeah? 597 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, I am such a sap. 598 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 599 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 2: I'm really into my feels. I'm having like great conversations. 600 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,879 Speaker 2: I'm starting this, you know, new podcast, Wide Open. It's 601 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 2: like I'm really in this gentle side of like connection. 602 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 2: I think with technology we've really lost a lot of 603 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,799 Speaker 2: the human element. And my like pursuit of greatness now 604 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:51,840 Speaker 2: is to really just reconnect with people. 605 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: Yes, soft life, no more suffering. We're not suffering no more. 606 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 2: Okay, no, no, no, no, no no, We're done with that. 607 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,880 Speaker 1: Yes, Thank you so much, Ashland, thanks for having me. 608 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: Ashlin Harris is the host of Wide Open with Ashland Harris. 609 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 1: You can subscribe and listen anywhere you get your podcasts. 610 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 1: Let's keep the conversation going on social media. You can 611 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: find us at Hello Sunshine on ig and hit me 612 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: up at Simone Voice. That's my handle on everything. Okay, 613 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,399 Speaker 1: listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, 614 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time, 615 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,439 Speaker 1: keep looking on the bright side, y'all. The bright Side 616 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 1: is a production of Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and 617 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Simone Boyce. 618 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 1: Production is by ACAST Creative Studios. Our producers are Taylor Williamson, 619 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: Adrian Bain, Abby Delk, and Darby Masters. Our production assistant 620 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 1: is Joya Putnoy. Acasts executive producers are Jenny Kaplan and 621 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,760 Speaker 1: Emily Rudder. Maureen Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the executive 622 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,920 Speaker 1: producers for Hello Sunshine. Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are 623 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 1: the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palazzola is our showrunner. 624 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: Our theme song is by Anna Stump and Hamilton Lighthouser.