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Speaker 1: My wife cheated and had four affair babies. She coerced

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Speaker 1: me into raising is my own kids. Now I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get sweet revenge?

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Speaker 2: Is he gonna get revenge on the affair babies too?

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Speaker 2: Are they they in the mix?

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Speaker 1: You know sometimes when when you're just shooting shrapnel, srapnel

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Speaker 1: gets sounds like the affair babies are going to have

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Speaker 1: a tough life. It sounds also a fair babies is

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Speaker 1: such a sad name for children. So some background. I

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Speaker 1: met my wife when we were in high school and

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Speaker 1: we married in college. We have five beautiful children together,

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Speaker 1: and really I consider them total blessings, regardless of what

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Speaker 1: I'm about to bring up.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, which ones are the affair babies? Which ones

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Speaker 2: get less of his love?

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Speaker 1: And up until a couple of weeks ago, I thought

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Speaker 1: that we had the perfect marriage. We were typical high

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Speaker 1: school sweethearts. We go out together, we never fight, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've done everything a loving husband should do.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying this to make myself out as

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Speaker 1: like the perfect husband. For example, my work has always

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Speaker 1: meant I work long hours, and maybe I haven't always

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Speaker 1: been there when she needed me.

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Speaker 3: But I want to stress that I've never felt.

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Speaker 1: That our marriage was in trouble, and never in a

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Speaker 1: million years would I have ever suspected my wife of

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Speaker 1: being disloyal. She's always done everything she could to support

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Speaker 1: me and take care of our children. Man, this is

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Speaker 1: a great relationship.

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Speaker 2: Going going to the south here like like when it's

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Speaker 2: set up like that, Man, Man's about to be totally

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Speaker 2: blindsided big time.

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Speaker 1: Now, my eldest daughter recently had an ancestry test done.

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Speaker 3: Oh, we all know how those end.

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Speaker 2: The ancestry tests never end well. Ancestry dot com has

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Speaker 2: been responsible for like or like twenty three and meters

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Speaker 2: those companies, They've been responsible for so many just like

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Speaker 2: obliterated family.

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Speaker 3: I needed.

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Speaker 1: I want to I want a track record of like

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Speaker 1: the popularity of ancestry tests and a divorce rate and

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Speaker 1: like just see this one day together. And the results

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Speaker 1: of the ancestry test strongly suggested that I was not

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Speaker 1: her father.

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Speaker 3: Fuck not good.

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Speaker 4: Not good.

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Speaker 1: She confided this to me privately, showing the results, and

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Speaker 1: I could tell that she was visibly upset by this.

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Speaker 1: Of course, the first thing I did was reassure her

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Speaker 1: that no matter what, she is always my daughter and

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Speaker 1: I will always love her unconditionally.

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Speaker 4: Wow, it's a lot, all right, at least at least

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Speaker 4: at least we have that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it seems like he wants he wants to remain

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Speaker 1: their father.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 1: But secondly, the two of us decided to get an

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Speaker 1: official paternity test since the ancestry tests are not completely reliable.

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Speaker 1: It comes back and I am indeed not her biological father.

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Speaker 1: You are not the father I told you.

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Speaker 3: This news really broke me.

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Speaker 1: I'm ashamed to say that I broke down into tears

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Speaker 1: and front of my daughter.

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Speaker 4: Ude, don't be ashamed. That's hard. I know.

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Speaker 3: I know, like you should be allowed to.

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Speaker 4: Every right to feel that way.

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Speaker 3: Every right.

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Speaker 1: The combination of finding out about my wife's infidelity and

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Speaker 1: how upset I was making my daughter by how I

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Speaker 1: was reacting was really hard. I really wish I had

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Speaker 1: kept it in for her sake, but I didn't. Don't

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Speaker 1: beat yourself up, man, That's that's a lot to go

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Speaker 1: through God. Following this, I asked my other children except

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Speaker 1: my youngest, to come and see me. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: know the extent of my wife's infidelity.

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Speaker 2: Oh geez, I like, now it's like going through each kid.

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Speaker 2: It's like, all right, which ones look similar?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Which one looks similar to the first one?

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Speaker 3: Are you my son? Are you my daughter?

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Speaker 4: My daddy?

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Speaker 1: Now, if this was a one off, I could maybe

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Speaker 1: work past it, especially.

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Speaker 3: Given how long ago it would be.

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Speaker 1: However, I didn't want to tell my youngest as she's

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Speaker 1: still in school. She's just a teenager, and really I

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Speaker 1: didn't think it was appropriate to tell her just yet,

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Speaker 1: fair makes sense to protect the kids. We tell the

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Speaker 1: other three what happened. I reassure them that I love

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Speaker 1: them unconditionally and that I will always be their dad.

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Speaker 3: But I need to know how long this has been

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Speaker 3: going on.

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Speaker 1: Also, This is so crazy because it's like, not only

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Speaker 1: was she cheating, she was cheating having someone else's children

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Speaker 1: and passing them off as his own kids. Like that

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Speaker 1: is there's something evil, Like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Like are they not wearing protection or anything? Like, it's

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Speaker 2: so fucked God. If you're gonna cheat, rap it, man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. God.

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Speaker 1: I cannot begin to explain how touching their reaction was.

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Speaker 1: They didn't care that I wasn't their biological father. They

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Speaker 1: were just upset about how heartbroken I was. I'm heartbroken,

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Speaker 1: good fing This is insane I feel like I feel

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Speaker 1: like the only thing that has kept me going these

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Speaker 1: last couple of weeks is their unwavering support.

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Speaker 3: So we have paternity tests for each of the three done.

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Speaker 1: Not only are none of them my biological children, none

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Speaker 1: of them zero no, but together four of my children

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Speaker 1: have three different fathers. So she had four kids with

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Speaker 1: three other guys and never never told.

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Speaker 4: No, never told you. I mean, how do they not

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Speaker 4: look different? Though?

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Speaker 3: I get I don't. I don't. That's a good question.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's just like it's enough to where they

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Speaker 1: look kind of like the mom, where it's like passable, like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: all your kids really take after after your mom, because

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Speaker 1: that's kind of normal, right, people like oh, people are like,

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Speaker 1: oh you take out your mom, you take after your dad, right,

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Speaker 1: So it's like, wow, they really just all take after

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Speaker 1: your mom, don't they don't they?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 1: God?

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Speaker 3: And this somehow made it worse. Uh? Yes, yes, that

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Speaker 3: would make it worse.

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Speaker 1: It's like she wasn't just having an ongoing affair, but

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Speaker 1: she was having multiple affairs. I can't explain how this

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Speaker 1: makes it worse, but it just does. O.

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Speaker 4: P No, it makes it worse. I understand, it makes

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Speaker 4: it worse.

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Speaker 3: She was running around on like multiple multiple people good

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Speaker 3: like good great lies, the lies.

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Speaker 1: So I confront my wife with us, expecting her to

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Speaker 1: confess and beg for forgiveness. But the thing is she

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Speaker 1: doesn't even confess what not, Only that she doesn't even

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Speaker 1: take it seriously.

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Speaker 3: She says that the tests must be flawed. All four.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, man, they're.

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Speaker 3: All flawed, Sam. All tests are wrong. Science is wrong, Sam.

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Speaker 4: The big lie, the big lie.

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Speaker 3: Has big over it.

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Speaker 1: How the heck am I supposed to take her seriously

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Speaker 1: with this? I keep bringing it up and she keeps

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Speaker 1: brushing it off, getting progressively more annoyed with me.

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Speaker 3: How how is she annoyed with you?

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Speaker 4: How?

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Speaker 2: Also, but props to her for being like so such

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Speaker 2: a stone cold liar bro that she like like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like that's nothing, that.

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Speaker 1: She is a world class life the world. She's like,

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Speaker 1: stop stop annoying me.

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Speaker 2: I mean, but honestly, like she she had three four

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Speaker 2: other affairs that we she had multiple like children affairs

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Speaker 2: from the children. Yeah, for the children, So there's probably more.

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Speaker 3: The fifth one didn't get tested because he didn't want

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Speaker 3: to be.

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Speaker 2: It could have been like it could have been Those

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Speaker 2: are the ones that ended up having kids. But like,

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Speaker 2: what if it's just like a new guy every day,

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Speaker 2: entirely possible that that there's more. Now when I bring

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Speaker 2: it up, she will try to guilt trip me. We've

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Speaker 2: been together since high school? Do you seriously not cross me?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 3: Putting it back?

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Speaker 4: God, this is the worst kind, worst kind of person.

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Speaker 1: But how am I supposed to just trust her in

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Speaker 1: the face of such overwhelming your.

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Speaker 4: Don't trust her?

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Speaker 1: She is lying to you. She is lying like pulsive liar.

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Speaker 1: You're right, the science is wrong. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 4: Science ain't wrong, and then you're wrong?

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Speaker 3: How how could you confront me like this? How could you?

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Speaker 3: How could you say these bull face lies? If she

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Speaker 3: would like full Karen with it so dumb? How dare you?

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Speaker 4: How dare you accuse me of cheating? Trust me?

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Speaker 1: Now that I've rambled, let me ask some quick questions

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Speaker 1: of advice. How can I assume this doesn't change anything

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Speaker 1: between my children? I feel like the way I've reacted

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Speaker 1: total breakdowns has made them second guests, despite how many

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Speaker 1: times I try to reassure them. How do I handle

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Speaker 1: this with my younger daughter? I feel like our marriage

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Speaker 1: is beyond saving and I will need to tell her something.

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Speaker 1: I don't want her to know the truth until she's older.

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Speaker 1: But I also don't want my wife lying and making

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Speaker 1: me out to be the villain. And then finally, is

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Speaker 1: there any way, any way at all you think that

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Speaker 1: I should be saving my marriage. I've been with my

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Speaker 1: wife my entire life, and it's impossible to see life

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Speaker 1: without her.

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Speaker 3: I know the answer should be a clear cut leave.

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Speaker 1: Her, but we have five kids together, and if there's

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Speaker 1: anything that can be done to save the marriage, I

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Speaker 1: want to consider it seriously.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, Well, in terms of saving the marriage, I

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Speaker 2: mean it's like it's kind of up to ope, right,

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Speaker 2: It's like, how much are you willing to accept to take? Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't think you can have like in terms of trust, Like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think you can trust her when it comes

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Speaker 2: to not cheating again like she has. She showed that

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Speaker 2: she's a compulsive liar. So if you're okay with her

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Speaker 2: lying and then going on like along with your like,

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Speaker 2: But the thing is like, maybe if that is like

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Speaker 2: it sounds like he was pretty happy beforehand. He's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like nothing was wrong. It was pretty happy. And so

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Speaker 2: if you're Okay with like living like this, you know,

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Speaker 2: happy go lucky life. Uh, but knowing that your wife

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Speaker 2: is getting railed by a thousand other guys and some

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Speaker 2: of those some of those railings are turning into children,

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Speaker 2: then then maybe your marriages can be saved.

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Speaker 1: This is a hard one to yeah, because it's like

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Speaker 1: he hasn't dated for basically his entire adult life. He

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Speaker 1: has five children, and it's like, how how is he

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Speaker 1: supposed to go out and learn how to find like

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Speaker 1: another person to spend his life with At this.

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Speaker 2: Point, you you know what you do, what you're going

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Speaker 2: to pick up? Becomes a pickup artist.

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Speaker 1: Nice?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And then and then he starts bagging all those chicks.

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Speaker 2: And then and then he'll come back to his wife

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Speaker 2: and see like, see now, now look what I've become.

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Speaker 2: I've become the ultimate ultimate suavenator. And then she'll be like,

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Speaker 2: is that really what he wanted all along? And he's like, no, really,

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Speaker 2: what I all I want wanted all along was you.

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Speaker 2: And then they get back together and then she cheats

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Speaker 2: on him again and then he kills himself.

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Speaker 1: That would have been that was very close to being

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Speaker 1: beautiful love story. I was thinking it could be he

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Speaker 1: could like try and sleep with and have his children

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Speaker 1: with as many women as possible and then raising angus

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Speaker 1: knit raise an army of children to murder her and

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Speaker 1: just go for it. Yeah yeah, gangus conn it, dude,

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Speaker 1: eighteen year long game plan or maybe like fifteen sixteen

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Speaker 1: seventy ones once they've garnered enough straight.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they liked like a sixteen year old's pretty leaf.

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Speaker 3: Could you imagine just surround the house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, children, we have all of these kids.

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Speaker 3: Get her out.

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Speaker 2: Apparently there was a doctor in some small town that

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Speaker 2: was a fertility doctor and he like gave his sperm

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Speaker 2: to like two thousand women and he has like two

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Speaker 2: thousand kids.

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Speaker 3: Is that the Netflix special?

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Speaker 1: I think so?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah that that is like here about that.

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Speaker 1: I saw the trailer for that, and I was like, like,

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Speaker 1: to all these people in the town, they don't know

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Speaker 1: if they're like dating their brother.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and a lot of them are, and like there's

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Speaker 2: a bunch of like birth defects and chip oh god,

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Speaker 2: what it's like super imbed.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But there is a quick update, oh shit from the

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Speaker 1: advice in r slash parenting. I've decided to do the

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Speaker 1: following get second tests just in case some freak accident

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Speaker 1: has occurred. If the ancestry and parental tests weren't enough,

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Speaker 1: we're going around three.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, like what if what if it was like some

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Speaker 2: freak accident, that would be four tests all being wrong

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Speaker 2: with But yeah, that would be crazy. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: confront my wife with all four children present. That's honestly

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Speaker 2: a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Wow, tell my youngest the situation, ask her if she

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Speaker 1: wants to have a paternity test, and let it be

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Speaker 1: entirely her decision. I'm one hundred percent going to get

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Speaker 1: some form of therapy. My mental state has really been deteriorators. Yeah, Jesus,

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Speaker 1: deteriorating over the last couple of weeks, and I owe

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Speaker 1: it to my kids to hold it together. Dude, give

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Speaker 1: you give yourself a break, like you you you deserve

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Speaker 1: a break, and you've been through a lot. Also, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like most of them are adults, so you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously it's good for you to be there for them,

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Speaker 1: but also you don't have to be there for them

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Speaker 1: at your own detriment and expense.

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Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, fill your own cup before you

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Speaker 4: can fill others. That's right.

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Speaker 1: And depending on whether my wife tells the truth and

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Speaker 1: what her explanation is, if any I have not ruled

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Speaker 1: out some form of counseling, but at the moment, I

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Speaker 1: think divorce is inevitable unless she changes her attitude drastically,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to contact a lawyer and prepare for

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Speaker 1: divorce if it comes to that,