Speaker 1: Yo, I don't just live with one of my in laws.
Speaker 1: I live with both of my in laws. Laugh at that,
Speaker 1: And it's funny because no matter how much space we
Speaker 1: thought we had in this house, when you live with
Speaker 1: your parents, there's not enough space. Dead As. Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: Cadine and we're the ellis Is. You may know us
Speaker 1: from posting funny videos with our boys and reading each
Speaker 1: other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make
Speaker 1: you need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important
Speaker 1: thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created this
Speaker 1: podcast to open dialogue about some of the live's most
Speaker 1: taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Do the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead As
Speaker 1: is the turn that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about
Speaker 1: to take pillow talk to a whole new level. Dead
Speaker 1: Ass starts right now. So story time, we have stories
Speaker 1: for days, Stories for days. Days gonna be like a
Speaker 1: whole big story Time episode. Right this story takes me
Speaker 1: back to last week. All right, your pops, I love him.
Speaker 1: It's my guy Joe makes me the rum punch, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, always checks on the pool. I
Speaker 1: need him check on the pool garbage, takes the garbage.
Speaker 1: Like he's just my guy, right, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: ever have to worry about certain things because he, as
Speaker 1: the other man in the house, takes care of it.
Speaker 1: But the other day I went to get my Nike
Speaker 1: flip flops the cloth joints with the memory fold insoles,
Speaker 1: and your father had my Nike flip flops on and
Speaker 1: he was barefoot right walking around the house. Now you
Speaker 1: know your pops feet. It's a tragedy, broo, tragedies my
Speaker 1: father's feet alone. And he walked right he walked right
Speaker 1: by me with my flip flops on, and I just
Speaker 1: looked at him, like and he looked at me, and
Speaker 1: he looked down and he's like, I just trow these on,
Speaker 1: you know, because I had to go outside and take
Speaker 1: out the trash, so you was doing manual, sweaty labor activity.
Speaker 1: In my memory, that's not what those are. Four Those
Speaker 1: are my comfort flip flops. And he's like, no, man,
Speaker 1: there's nothing worried about this, nothing wrong with them. No,
Speaker 1: those are yours. Now those are no longer my flip flops.
Speaker 1: Those are your flip flops. I will get me another
Speaker 1: pair of flip flop. But that's the price that comes
Speaker 1: with having help that lives here in the house. You're
Speaker 1: randomly just see somebody that it's not you, walked by
Speaker 1: you wearing some of your ship like your pops, Like
Speaker 1: your mom's used to wear my forty nine slippers and
Speaker 1: be stomping around the apartment. Something about my parents and
Speaker 1: y'all see a slippers. It could just because y'all are
Speaker 1: all the same size. Yeah. The fact that your mom's
Speaker 1: wear the same size to me, and she said her
Speaker 1: feet grew aside with every child, got me looking at
Speaker 1: your feet, now, what is happening. I might I might
Speaker 1: have a little weight, my famie. My feet might be
Speaker 1: a little swollen still, But that's it because I dedicated
Speaker 1: story time to your pops. This song always reminds me
Speaker 1: of your pops because when I first started coming around
Speaker 1: you guys, this was his favorite song. Yeah, he used
Speaker 1: to play on his CD or he had a cassette
Speaker 1: at the time in his life. It was an old car.
Speaker 1: He still had a cassette and he would play that
Speaker 1: cassette tape all the time, and this was definitely a
Speaker 1: song that was always playing in it, and he played
Speaker 1: it so much that it didn't even sound like the
Speaker 1: song no more, because you know, after a while it
Speaker 1: is rubbed out. Ready, Tell I try your best, just
Speaker 1: to make it quick. Do do do do. Woman tended
Speaker 1: this sick because there must be something she can do.
Speaker 1: This heart is broken into Tell her it's a case
Speaker 1: of emergency. There's a patient by that Amo Gregory eight
Speaker 1: mm hmmm, Ninness, do doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
Speaker 1: Only you alone can quench the satters. H m m my, Ninness,
Speaker 1: Oh god, old and pain is getting worse. I know
Speaker 1: that was his song too, because he married a nurse,
Speaker 1: and it was just like perfect that that might have
Speaker 1: been a thing, and I always thought it was just
Speaker 1: it was just like dope. He used to, you know,
Speaker 1: sing that song and your mom was a nurse. I
Speaker 1: was like, right, And then now if I want to
Speaker 1: play a night nurse, I can't even be that because
Speaker 1: somebody might bust through the door, bust through the hallway.
Speaker 1: So we had to tread lightly. Well, let's get a
Speaker 1: little quick break yeah, we wanna take a quick break
Speaker 1: and won't come back into some story times and let
Speaker 1: y'all know about what it's like living with your parents.
Speaker 1: All right, So we're back, and um, let's preface this
Speaker 1: conversation with saying that it was your choice and your
Speaker 1: desire to help me out by having someone else here
Speaker 1: in the house that we trust to be able to
Speaker 1: assist with the kids and you know, our day to
Speaker 1: day and all that stuff. And with both my parents
Speaker 1: being retired, they were the ones that were better equipped
Speaker 1: in this moment to be able to do that for us.
Speaker 1: Dud ask me all the time, how can you live
Speaker 1: with your mother in law? This is the first thing, right.
Speaker 1: My mother in law is not a traditional mother in
Speaker 1: law in the sense that people tend to not like
Speaker 1: their mother in law or they don't get along with
Speaker 1: their mother in law because their mother in law is
Speaker 1: overbearing or pushy. One thing about Mimi is Mimi knows
Speaker 1: like the boundaries, and Mimi knows that this is what
Speaker 1: I want to be to my family to help my
Speaker 1: grandkids and my daughter. So with that comes her having
Speaker 1: a responsibility to understand that we need our privacy and
Speaker 1: we need our space. The first thing is it's not
Speaker 1: hard for me to live with my mother in law
Speaker 1: because we have an understanding, and that understanding came with conversation.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, in open lines of communication.
Speaker 1: So for for all of the guys who are asked me, like, YO,
Speaker 1: how is it living with your mother? That's the first thing.
Speaker 1: The second thing is my life became exponentially better when
Speaker 1: I became open to having someone in the house to
Speaker 1: help Codeine with the children, because it started with Cairo
Speaker 1: with Jackson, we Codeine and I balanced. I was our
Speaker 1: only child. We balanced. We do back and forth. But
Speaker 1: even then your mom used to come by after work
Speaker 1: and helping nights and stuff like that. But we had
Speaker 1: no one living with us when it came to Cairo,
Speaker 1: and then kas Grandma came and stayed with us. And
Speaker 1: this brings me to another story. Codeine and I had
Speaker 1: an argument because she was supposed to bring the car
Speaker 1: back we only have one car. At the time, I
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to work. She told me she
Speaker 1: was going to be back in a little while. Forty
Speaker 1: five minutes turned into three hours. I was calling her,
Speaker 1: she didn't answer her phone. Finally she comes back in
Speaker 1: and we have an argument, full blown argument in front
Speaker 1: of Grandma and everything as in the other room. Grandma
Speaker 1: was in the other room, but she could obviously hear.
Speaker 1: We're in the apartment at this point. Yeah, after the argument,
Speaker 1: it's always that feeling like shoot, because Nina said to me,
Speaker 1: you know, you haven't argument Grandma's day. Grandma's almost like, man,
Speaker 1: grandma been living here, did you hear what goes on?
Speaker 1: The next day, Grandma comes to me. She said this
Speaker 1: to me. She said, you know, baby, I'm here, but
Speaker 1: I'm not here. And she looked right at me like
Speaker 1: I'm here, but I'm not here. And I knew what
Speaker 1: she meant, and I appreciated that. And there was no judgment,
Speaker 1: There was no nothing. It was as if the argument
Speaker 1: never happens, as if she heard nothing because she says
Speaker 1: she's here, but she's not here. So one thing I
Speaker 1: know that my mom or my grandmother or my father
Speaker 1: won't do is insert themselves into and if they do
Speaker 1: over here something because like it's impossible for me. I'm
Speaker 1: always just like, well about we arguing, but like, can
Speaker 1: we argue in the privacy of our room versus arguing
Speaker 1: and then your voice carrying through the entire house. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's just something I'm mindful of with
Speaker 1: anybody who's around. UM, because you're also just fearful of
Speaker 1: people being in your business, and usually we want to
Speaker 1: keep those things internal, but it's hard when you have
Speaker 1: somebody living in your home and then you know that's
Speaker 1: just what it is. UM. But yeah, Grandma was good
Speaker 1: for that to the times that she had come to stay.
Speaker 1: But I appreciated you, um, having the foresight to see
Speaker 1: our Kidian is probably gonna need some help. So for example,
Speaker 1: when we moved from the apartment in New York to California,
Speaker 1: we were moving to an area where we had no
Speaker 1: one in terms of like no village, no family, no friends.
Speaker 1: This was just like a clean move. So I had
Speaker 1: tons of anxiety just with the thought of moving with
Speaker 1: At that point, we had three children, two of whom
Speaker 1: were two under two, and I was like, what is
Speaker 1: that gonna look like for us, especially to knowing that
Speaker 1: we were going to l A with the hopes of
Speaker 1: expanding careers, making connections and relationships and going to events
Speaker 1: and stuff. And of course this was pre COVID, so
Speaker 1: UM Devil was like, yo, you know your mom just
Speaker 1: left her job. You know, she's about to retire and
Speaker 1: whatnot what about it. She comes along with us, and
Speaker 1: we felt like it was also doing some good for
Speaker 1: her to to kind of have a change of scenery.
Speaker 1: She was working so many years in the same place,
Speaker 1: very stressful job, UM working as a director of nursing,
Speaker 1: very thankless job. So we felt like it was a
Speaker 1: good time to maybe give her a break and change
Speaker 1: of scenery and also to one thing my mother lives
Speaker 1: for is her grandchildren. So she wanted to be where
Speaker 1: she can be close and be of help to us
Speaker 1: and be you know, very staple in the children's life.
Speaker 1: Because all she could envision was her being in New
Speaker 1: York and her grandchildren being cross country. She didn't want
Speaker 1: that at all. So it was like a win win
Speaker 1: for everyone, and she came with us UM, which ended
Speaker 1: up being perfect because you ended up filming Tyler Perry's
Speaker 1: first season or second season was yeah, when we were
Speaker 1: actually doing the move from Brooklyn across country to California,
Speaker 1: and then again the move from California to Georgia. You
Speaker 1: just happened to be which I think he really like,
Speaker 1: is in with TP to make sure that he's filming
Speaker 1: and can't help with the move. Nobody does likely story,
Speaker 1: likely story. So um, so yeah, that was something that
Speaker 1: I appreciated that you even had the foresight because not
Speaker 1: everybody has. Everyone has the idea of living with a
Speaker 1: parents or living with an in law, and that can
Speaker 1: definitely be a negative situation if you let it. See,
Speaker 1: this is my thing, man, I'm I'm I'm a man
Speaker 1: of this is my house. So I feel like it's
Speaker 1: my responsibility to make sure that everyone in my house
Speaker 1: exists in the sense in the space of peace. Right,
Speaker 1: not just you, but the kids, your mom, your dad.
Speaker 1: For me having your mom and then eventually your dad
Speaker 1: comes stay with us, was about giving you a space
Speaker 1: to be comfortable and not feel overwhelmed. Right. Um. A
Speaker 1: lot of times I feel like people feel like stay
Speaker 1: at home mom is an easy job until you've had
Speaker 1: to take care of a child or children at home
Speaker 1: for hours at a time, you don't realize with that
Speaker 1: entails me being selfish, you know, it's being selfish. Was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be able to spend time with my wife.
Speaker 1: I want my wife to at least have energy to
Speaker 1: be able to engage in the stuff that we've accustomed
Speaker 1: to since we were eighteen, like randomly on a Tuesday
Speaker 1: going bowling, right when Friday Date nights, having on Friday
Speaker 1: Date nights, you know, stuff that we always did from
Speaker 1: the time we were eighteen, all the way through college,
Speaker 1: the NFL, and before we had kids. Now we're in
Speaker 1: the space where we don't work nine to fives, and
Speaker 1: we we've built our empire to where we have autonomy
Speaker 1: over our time. I don't want to then have to
Speaker 1: dedicate time to just being here for my kids if
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily have to be here. I also wanted
Speaker 1: to be a husband and I want my wife to
Speaker 1: be able to be a wife. So for me, it
Speaker 1: was like, it's Tuesday, it's eight o'clock. If we could
Speaker 1: just pick up and go bowling for a couple of
Speaker 1: hours and come back, the only way that's gonna happen
Speaker 1: is if someone was here with the kids that I trusted.
Speaker 1: So for me, it was your mom. On top of that,
Speaker 1: she cooks, she cleans, she does laundry like she's a
Speaker 1: a full participant and making the house go around. So
Speaker 1: it's not stuck on you all the time. It's not
Speaker 1: stuck on me when you have to work. You know,
Speaker 1: we all pitch in around here and it makes the
Speaker 1: workload a lot smaller for all of us, so we
Speaker 1: can all exist in a sense of peace exactly. And
Speaker 1: one thing that was important for me, as much as
Speaker 1: my mother is here to help, we also insisted that
Speaker 1: she take up something that she likes and like she
Speaker 1: always wanted to do. So whereas she's a great help
Speaker 1: to us and she does things with us around the house.
Speaker 1: Or when I had my date nights with the boys
Speaker 1: when you were away filming and I was able to
Speaker 1: take one child out at a time for even they
Speaker 1: just to spend time with them, and she stayed back
Speaker 1: with the other ones. That was helpful. But I encouraged
Speaker 1: her to say, Mom, like you have dedicated your entire
Speaker 1: life to building a life for myself, my brother, and
Speaker 1: my sister. I want you to now be able to
Speaker 1: do something that you've always wanted to do, or just
Speaker 1: take some time to yourself during the week, because she
Speaker 1: was literally here with us, just you know, at home
Speaker 1: with the kids and stuff. So now that we've been
Speaker 1: in Georgia, I'm like, you've always wanted to play tennis. Mom.
Speaker 1: You love to exercise and you like to work out
Speaker 1: and stay healthy. Why not pick up tennis lessons? And
Speaker 1: she was like, you know what, you're right. So twice
Speaker 1: a week now she goes. She goes to her a
Speaker 1: tennis lesson and she enjoys. She thinks she's Serena Williams
Speaker 1: and I'm here for it. I am here for it.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget when she called us. One thing that's
Speaker 1: her name is Sami Williams. I'll never forget that one
Speaker 1: morning that she called. She had a little accident on
Speaker 1: the tennis court and she called me because she's just like,
Speaker 1: I just got hit in the eye with the tennis ball.
Speaker 1: Somebody come pick me up. I can't And she's like
Speaker 1: hut on the phone. So I'm like, oh my god, mom,
Speaker 1: it's an emergency. And um, there's lots of funny moments
Speaker 1: in that because in her having that moment where she
Speaker 1: was just so distraught over her accident and she was
Speaker 1: concerned about her face being bruised, Devil was able to
Speaker 1: find the humor in that. And then when we got
Speaker 1: back home, he's standing there with a garbage bag of
Speaker 1: ice for her eye. To make light of the situation.
Speaker 1: She look like, you know what, you're so dramatic Develo.
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's too dramatic that to we out together,
Speaker 1: forget it. Forget it. It was funny. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're able to provide a space where
Speaker 1: I feel like everyone kind of is able to win
Speaker 1: in the circumstance we get. The help the children was
Speaker 1: also very important for me. Um now having left New York,
Speaker 1: where we have our home base. I mean, we have
Speaker 1: your parents, your brother, your sister, their cousins, my brother
Speaker 1: and my sister. We were literally uprooting from their again,
Speaker 1: moving to an area where we've had minimal friends, a
Speaker 1: lot more in Georgia than we did in California. But
Speaker 1: now I'm grateful that my children are able to bond
Speaker 1: and grow with their grandparents in the house to an extent,
Speaker 1: because for me, it now allows them the opportunity to
Speaker 1: have those memories like I remember the time that I
Speaker 1: spent with my grandparents the same way you did. And
Speaker 1: I know both of our parents were very mindful and
Speaker 1: purposeful about us spending time with our grandparents. So we
Speaker 1: have those memories and we have those relationships. So Um,
Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're able to provide that for the
Speaker 1: kids now where they have me, me and Papa in
Speaker 1: the house with them, and a lot of their reason
Speaker 1: stories they're probably gonna tell because our kids are little
Speaker 1: comedians too, and I'm sure they're going to have their
Speaker 1: little stories and they had their inside jokes right now
Speaker 1: when they, you know, make fun of their grandparents the
Speaker 1: same way I did with my brother. I'm happy that
Speaker 1: they have that um but but with all that, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but I do think it's a point for people to understand,
Speaker 1: like how much of a benefit it is, because you know,
Speaker 1: we're gonna make jokes and tell stories about living with
Speaker 1: our parents, but just really understanding when as as a husband,
Speaker 1: when you can see that your wife needs a break
Speaker 1: and be able to just say, Yogo, get dressed, let's
Speaker 1: go out, and know that there's an adult or adults
Speaker 1: here who can manage your family of four boys is
Speaker 1: a really good feeling I have. And not just someone
Speaker 1: who can manage, but love your children absolutely. I always say,
Speaker 1: if it can't be me, and if it can't be you,
Speaker 1: it's going to have to be our parents. And you
Speaker 1: know your mom wakes up. I grew up very independent.
Speaker 1: I grew up in the morning since the time I
Speaker 1: was eight years old and we moved to CANARSI I
Speaker 1: got up, I got my own breakfast ready, I made
Speaker 1: my own sandwich. I got my brother. We walked to
Speaker 1: school by ourselves. After school, I got my brother, we
Speaker 1: walked back home. I made us I'll snack after school.
Speaker 1: I helped a homework like I did all of that myself.
Speaker 1: And I remember saying when I get older, I want
Speaker 1: to have the type of life where there will be
Speaker 1: someone to wake up with my children, take them to school,
Speaker 1: and and be there to receive them when they come home.
Speaker 1: Because my brother and I spent hours at home by
Speaker 1: ourselves where things happen, and when you spent of time
Speaker 1: by yourselves. So and kudos to my parents and your
Speaker 1: parents for doing what they had to do in their
Speaker 1: time and to be able to raise successful uh humans
Speaker 1: while both of my parents working and not having their
Speaker 1: parents be able to come and live with them like
Speaker 1: we have. My parents used to send me to Tennessee
Speaker 1: every summer eight weeks to ten weeks. Um I used
Speaker 1: when I was younger. I used to go to my
Speaker 1: own weezy's house after school, so I felt I spent
Speaker 1: time with a lot of family, being able to create
Speaker 1: this space where I could buy a house big enough
Speaker 1: where we could house your your parents, and have my
Speaker 1: parents and have the kids here. It's just a huge blessing.
Speaker 1: You know. The jokes are going to be the jokes,
Speaker 1: but people really need to understand the blessing of being
Speaker 1: up late at night it's four or five in the morning,
Speaker 1: your wife is sleep deprived, your sleep deprived, and be
Speaker 1: able to just take the baby to someone to say.
Speaker 1: When we talked about outsourcing back in another episode, and
Speaker 1: like you know, for example, having the night nurse or
Speaker 1: the night doula who comes into help with the baby
Speaker 1: or something. It's almost as if I'm having a DLA
Speaker 1: can present itself in many different forms in this circumstance.
Speaker 1: It's my mom, and it's my dad, you know. My
Speaker 1: dad also to helping with cooking and things like that.
Speaker 1: So we are very fortunate to be able to have that,
Speaker 1: and it's definitely a blessing. Like you said, um, you know,
Speaker 1: and then with it being a blessing, there's also those
Speaker 1: moments where you're just like, yes, okay, how much longer
Speaker 1: are they going to be in here full time? You know? Um?
Speaker 1: And I just say that you know because yes, it's
Speaker 1: my mom and my dad, your mother in law, your
Speaker 1: father in law, it's me, me and Papa. But it's
Speaker 1: also for adults for existing in the house together. But
Speaker 1: I will say, which can happens moments you don't be
Speaker 1: having no issues the two people that we have issues. Okay,
Speaker 1: if we be honest and you come by the middle
Speaker 1: of the day, you know, say you want to drink,
Speaker 1: Let me buy you a drink. Let you make me
Speaker 1: a drink, because you know I'll be stressed out about drinks.
Speaker 1: We talk about life, we talk about stuff. I teach
Speaker 1: him how to play pool, he cheats. It's like, it's
Speaker 1: just what it is, like, that's our relationship, you and
Speaker 1: your mom is you know, there was a saying, you know,
Speaker 1: two of mine can't live in the same home. Yep, yep,
Speaker 1: to exactly. So yeah, so that has it definitely has
Speaker 1: this moment sometimes. And while I know, as my mom
Speaker 1: would like to say, it's coming from a good place,
Speaker 1: it's coming from a good place trying to help um,
Speaker 1: it can be overbearing sometimes for me because it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes there's a moment where I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did forget such and such and it's a great reminder.
Speaker 1: And then there's other moments where it's just like I
Speaker 1: got it under control. For example, when uh Dakota was
Speaker 1: forced born, it was maybe a couple of weeks old
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, so I had him in the
Speaker 1: little sling, you know, baby carrier and whatnot. And despite
Speaker 1: the fact that my parents are here, I still acknowledge
Speaker 1: that I'm mom, Like that's my sole responsibility and my
Speaker 1: main role is to be mom and to still mother
Speaker 1: while my parents are here. So I was mombing because
Speaker 1: at the same time too, I want my parents to
Speaker 1: have a little break, like, I don't expect you to
Speaker 1: be running out of my kids. Seven, go downstairs, take
Speaker 1: a nap, do what you gotta do, go to play tennis.
Speaker 1: Come back. It's good. So I'm getting Cayro Jackson a
Speaker 1: cast situated for dinner. I'm in the middle of making dinner.
Speaker 1: I have the baby, you know, on my arm, kind
Speaker 1: of strapped into the sling kind of halfway and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm doing something on the stove, and then I put
Speaker 1: that down and I'm like looking at my phone. So
Speaker 1: I'm doing a couple of the multitasking as far as
Speaker 1: I'm concerned. I got it under control. So then my
Speaker 1: mom swoops in and she's like going to pull the
Speaker 1: baby from my arms, and I'm just like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? And she's like, you're cooking with the baby
Speaker 1: near the stool, and I'm just like, yes, as I've
Speaker 1: done with Kaz, as I've done with Cairo and Jackson,
Speaker 1: i think I'm equipped, and I understand that there's a
Speaker 1: hot stove here and there's a child, and I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm okay. So it looked like she got a little
Speaker 1: like taken aback in that moment, but I'm just like, sis, like,
Speaker 1: I got it under control, you know, because no mother
Speaker 1: can mother like the mother that is mothering in that moment.
Speaker 1: So your mom thinks she's the best mother to have
Speaker 1: a mother ever, if you think you're the best mother
Speaker 1: to have a mother, ever, that's how most mothers are.
Speaker 1: So when you have two mothers and mothering at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's gonna be a motherfucking problem. And that's
Speaker 1: just what simultaneous mothering sometimes can just get to be
Speaker 1: a bit much. So it's funny because our midwife had,
Speaker 1: as we all know, moved in here for like three
Speaker 1: weeks to be able to be here for Dakota's birth,
Speaker 1: and after speaking to her, being here, she's she she
Speaker 1: pretty much observed our family dynamic for three weeks un censored,
Speaker 1: like she just got everybody for who they are, and
Speaker 1: in talking to her after and it's kind of joking
Speaker 1: about like everything that had happened and funny moments because
Speaker 1: we literally were like one big, happy family when she
Speaker 1: was here. She was able to pick up on like
Speaker 1: is ums that like my mom had, my dad had that,
Speaker 1: I had devout head And I'm like, wait a second,
Speaker 1: do you double as a therapist? Girl? Because at the
Speaker 1: same time you were having this you're helping me have
Speaker 1: this baby, but you were also being like girl. I
Speaker 1: noticed this that in the third after I had asked her,
Speaker 1: like what did you think about certain situations? And it's
Speaker 1: funny because it's some of the same things that I've
Speaker 1: felt or I've said or I vocalized. And sometimes when
Speaker 1: you vocalize that to your parents as the child, they
Speaker 1: take it as an attack or disrespect, like how how
Speaker 1: can you say that about me? But I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I learned to give my parents a
Speaker 1: grace because they're also he in beings and they also
Speaker 1: you know they have there is um the same way
Speaker 1: I do, the same way you say to me, Cadine,
Speaker 1: you didn't say something the way you thought you said it.
Speaker 1: You said it in a very snappy manner. I didn't
Speaker 1: snap the value can interject, I see you going off
Speaker 1: on your mom. No, no, I'm not going on at her.
Speaker 1: And I'm just saying what people are feelings. Codeine, my
Speaker 1: wife and I love so much, has about her mom
Speaker 1: be the same feelings I'll be having about Codine. Yeah? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: Where did I get it from? Recognize what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And I watch her go at it with her mom
Speaker 1: and say the same thing to her mom that I'll
Speaker 1: be saying to her, and I'll just be looking at
Speaker 1: her like a far from the tree. And then it's
Speaker 1: triggering for me because then I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I am becoming my mom. But then again, if you
Speaker 1: talk about attachment styles, you talk about the way you're
Speaker 1: parented and the way that then manifests itself in relationships
Speaker 1: and whatnot, I can totally see it. I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not a stranger to that. I'm not going to deny
Speaker 1: it either, But sometimes you need that. But you used
Speaker 1: to deny it before. There's a lot of times I
Speaker 1: didn't have to say I didn't want to definitely acting
Speaker 1: like your mom and used to be like and I
Speaker 1: used to be like, I'm I'm just saying like the
Speaker 1: same things that you said that bother you about your
Speaker 1: mom and what she does. You you're doing that to
Speaker 1: our kids. You're doing that to us as helpful for
Speaker 1: me to know, so I can stop doing that because
Speaker 1: something I don't want to be the annoying mom either.
Speaker 1: There's another dynamic though, right when you move a mom
Speaker 1: into the house to help, I will say it was
Speaker 1: more beneficial for us that it was your mom and
Speaker 1: not my mom, mainly because when it's the husband's mom, right,
Speaker 1: my mom and you don't have that type of connection.
Speaker 1: And it's a house, so it's your house. When it's
Speaker 1: your house, you feel more comfortable checking your mom. You
Speaker 1: feel she crossed the boundary. If it's my mom, now
Speaker 1: it's just like, how do I check his mom? Because
Speaker 1: then my my mom has that feeling of it's my
Speaker 1: son's house. You see what I'm saying. So when you
Speaker 1: think about which mom to move in, because my mom
Speaker 1: is the one that told me this we had this
Speaker 1: issue before where I felt like my my mom wasn't
Speaker 1: as involved as much as candiced mom and my mom
Speaker 1: and I had built resentment towards my mom because of that,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, you know, you don't come around,
Speaker 1: you don't do this, you don't ask about this. And
Speaker 1: she was like, well, you know, you have a wife,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I do have a wife,
Speaker 1: and my wife mom helps and she's like, because that's
Speaker 1: her daughter. I have a daughter, and when my daughter
Speaker 1: has her house, I'll be there to help her. But
Speaker 1: you have a wife, she has a mom. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be the overbearing mother in law. I'm not
Speaker 1: going And I didn't understand it until she explained it
Speaker 1: that way, and I was like, you know what, She's right,
Speaker 1: absolutely right. You have a relationship with your mom where
Speaker 1: y'all can do that. It's gonna cause contention if it's
Speaker 1: my mom and you, well think about it, because then
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen If I don't feel comforta speaking to
Speaker 1: your mom about it, who's going to be the conduit?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be talking to you, and if your mom
Speaker 1: has issues's gonna be talking to you. And then all
Speaker 1: the stress is gonna come on you, and that's something
Speaker 1: you're trying to avoid by having a parent president in
Speaker 1: the house to help. You want to alleviate the stress,
Speaker 1: not add to it. Now, your mom, I will say,
Speaker 1: when she comes here to visit, it's great. Nanna jumps in,
Speaker 1: she gets in, where she fits in. She's just like,
Speaker 1: where does where is the help needed in that moment.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do that. I have no problems and
Speaker 1: just one thing she's always said. She's like, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to impose myself, but if you ask and I
Speaker 1: can do it, I'm going to do it. So that's
Speaker 1: that's the kind of relationship we have. I'm like, yo, Mom, listen,
Speaker 1: everybody's coming. I know y'all got everybody coming to town.
Speaker 1: Do you mind running to the supermarkets? Here's the list.
Speaker 1: And she'd be like, no problems, she was on and
Speaker 1: she goes. So I let that be a message or
Speaker 1: something to think about. Gentlemen, you're looking to bring one
Speaker 1: of the moms and to help your wife because she
Speaker 1: needs some reprieve. You want to get your wife back,
Speaker 1: the kids need someone there. Think about which mom you're
Speaker 1: gonna bring in, because if you bring your mom in
Speaker 1: and she come in with that this is my son's
Speaker 1: house attitude, And I'm gonna run this the way I
Speaker 1: ran my house. Your wife ain't going like that. Who
Speaker 1: was it in your family that you said? Was it
Speaker 1: your grandmother that used to move your mom's furniture around
Speaker 1: or something? Yes? So so my So there's another thing
Speaker 1: I learned. My mom learned not to be an overbearing
Speaker 1: mother in law because her mother in law was overbearing.
Speaker 1: My nanna, my beautiful nanna, who watched this every every
Speaker 1: summer for about fifteen years, used to come to our
Speaker 1: house for Christmas, right and when they stayed with my parents.
Speaker 1: My parents would be at work, Me and Brian would
Speaker 1: be home first, of course, because we got home first.
Speaker 1: My grandparents would come by like two or three o'clock,
Speaker 1: so we let them in the house by the time
Speaker 1: my mom got home. My grandmother then moved all the
Speaker 1: furniture in the living room. She didn't move all the pots,
Speaker 1: she moved all the seasoning and everything that my mom
Speaker 1: had did. I don't know mine money would put this hand?
Speaker 1: Why would sit here when you can sit there here
Speaker 1: this tree over here, why don't you? Why would you
Speaker 1: do the head come help me. So now me and
Speaker 1: my brother moving all of the stuff. While you're moving
Speaker 1: it where you're worried like, oh, Mommy's gonna be pissed.
Speaker 1: Me and my brother knew, like we just knew, like
Speaker 1: you're as soon as mommy come home, she's gonna come
Speaker 1: in and take a deep breath and go well, seeing
Speaker 1: we had a moving company here. So and my mom
Speaker 1: is the sweetest person. Never made a big stink because
Speaker 1: my mother just like, she only gonna be here for
Speaker 1: two weeks. After the two weeks she come over, you
Speaker 1: and your brother put all this back. It was like
Speaker 1: a thing. It was like a thing, and she knew
Speaker 1: that she didn't want to be that for you, so
Speaker 1: she said, I appreciate that, and I'll wait until I'm
Speaker 1: asked for the assistance. And in the minute you asked
Speaker 1: you exactly. So that came with a little bit of
Speaker 1: contention in the beginning because we're just we're like, well,
Speaker 1: why is she still happening? Why she still asking? But
Speaker 1: now that we know, we're able to ask, and that
Speaker 1: goes back to just communicating, which is something that we
Speaker 1: have to do in this household as well too, because
Speaker 1: with my mom and dad here like my mom. One
Speaker 1: thing that I I found myself doing or was just
Speaker 1: was afraid of doing, was being too lax in my
Speaker 1: parenting because my mom is here to help. Because she
Speaker 1: is so helpful. Sometimes it's like the kids will just
Speaker 1: run to meet me for something, to run to Papa
Speaker 1: for something, where I want to make sure that I'm
Speaker 1: on my p's and q's as a parent as well too,
Speaker 1: because it's different when the children are parented and disciplined
Speaker 1: in this house with you and I and then go
Speaker 1: to Mimi and Papa's house or go to Nana and
Speaker 1: Papa Scoop's house, and they can do all the spoiling
Speaker 1: they want there and all that, but we know that's
Speaker 1: going to be at Nana and Papa's house or at
Speaker 1: Mimi and Papa's house and they're coming back home. It's
Speaker 1: a little more difficult, which we've learned recently, when we're
Speaker 1: trying to discipline in a certain way, or we just
Speaker 1: have the children doing certain routines and things, and then
Speaker 1: it's not being upheld by my parents my kids, which
Speaker 1: I know my mom tries to do, but sometimes Dad's
Speaker 1: the one that's the dad push over when he's ready
Speaker 1: to our kids. They know if to me, and they'd
Speaker 1: be like, daddy can have an icy, No, you already
Speaker 1: had icy today. Let me find mimia proper. They already know.
Speaker 1: And then they know not like I'll see them watching me,
Speaker 1: and they'll be watching me. And in the minute I
Speaker 1: leave the room, I hear the refrigerator opened and it's
Speaker 1: kaz Or, it's Cairo, and they're smart. They don't even ask.
Speaker 1: They go open a freezer, get the icy and just
Speaker 1: take it your parents. And then that person just cut it.
Speaker 1: And then they they and I'm like, did not tell you? Know?
Speaker 1: Then I just see their eyes open up and then
Speaker 1: they're going. That is one of the things that you
Speaker 1: and I have learned when your your in laws live
Speaker 1: with you. Different grandparents don't want to be disciplinarians and
Speaker 1: they shouldn't have to be. But Kadeem made a very
Speaker 1: important observation. She said, Mom, if you're gonna live here
Speaker 1: with us, right, you can't take on the role as
Speaker 1: the spoiler because you don't ever leave. You're the spoiler
Speaker 1: that lives here. So every day you're teaching bad habits.
Speaker 1: And maybe she was like, well, I'm me. I just
Speaker 1: want to be me me, And this is where we
Speaker 1: were like, well, if you're gonna be mee me, we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to discuss this arrangement because if you're gonna
Speaker 1: be here full time, you're gonna have to be a disciplinarian.
Speaker 1: Your pops love him to death. He ain't never been
Speaker 1: a disciplinarian. He ain't disciplinarian. I don't expect him to
Speaker 1: be a disciplinarian with the little ones. So it's just
Speaker 1: going behind and if he loves us, he loves them
Speaker 1: kids and ensure that the things that we want to
Speaker 1: instill in our children are pressed through the grandparents, you know,
Speaker 1: and making sure that they're constantly going behind and reiterating
Speaker 1: what we're trying to teach them. No, for sure, Ayeah.
Speaker 1: Those are things that we just check ourselves constantly as
Speaker 1: parents to say, Okay, where is this child going awry?
Speaker 1: Or you know, is this one getting away with too
Speaker 1: much or this one testing the waters a little bit
Speaker 1: too much, because we definitely don't want to have that
Speaker 1: confusion when it comes to the kids learning how to
Speaker 1: deal with us in this space. Um. But people always
Speaker 1: like when it comes to living with your in laws,
Speaker 1: people always think about the worst, And I really can't
Speaker 1: think about how like the worst, because there's so many
Speaker 1: positives to having someone here with them, Like there's so
Speaker 1: many last minute things that somebody needs to get picked up,
Speaker 1: and your pops will be like, I'll go get them.
Speaker 1: I don't have to think about that, like I can.
Speaker 1: I can focus my mind on things that's going to
Speaker 1: help create more content to bring in more revenue. Um.
Speaker 1: I can't say enough how much having them here has
Speaker 1: helped our relationship because it's it's funny, but it's almost
Speaker 1: like it becomes a war of attrition, right, and it's
Speaker 1: like this is my teammate, so it will be us
Speaker 1: against the kids, and then it will be us against
Speaker 1: your parents. But it's like we have this teammate thing
Speaker 1: here where sometimes when it's just YouTube and there's no
Speaker 1: one you know, it's it's always like it was me
Speaker 1: versus her. Yeah, if there's no one to to, it's
Speaker 1: like yeah, and I'm and you miss your spouse sometimes
Speaker 1: because you get caught up in life and when you
Speaker 1: have four kids, somebody has a practice or rehearsal or
Speaker 1: coding class or open school, like someone always has that,
Speaker 1: and it seems like one of us is always out
Speaker 1: running there, but when you have someone there, or even
Speaker 1: if we're out running, then we come home and it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what's for dinner? And then I look
Speaker 1: over my dad made a pot of soup or pillow,
Speaker 1: as we all know, he might have made pillow for
Speaker 1: the Actually, I think he's got the memo because we
Speaker 1: haven't had pillow in a minute. Um, he's gonna sup
Speaker 1: us to death. But at least it's something hot and
Speaker 1: home cooked that's here. And I just feel like my
Speaker 1: parents are comfortable here. I've always wanted to create a
Speaker 1: lifestyle where my parents could be comfortable, because that's your
Speaker 1: dream as a kid. I know you dream and for
Speaker 1: the moment that you can be able to reciprocate the
Speaker 1: sacrifice and reciprocate the gifts that your parents have given you,
Speaker 1: um growing up. So I feel great that we're in
Speaker 1: a position now where we can do that, where our
Speaker 1: parents are comfortable. You know, your parents are still working
Speaker 1: and then they're the workforce and they're you know, content
Speaker 1: doing that until they don't have to anymore. But we
Speaker 1: do have a plan. But there's a plan. This is
Speaker 1: not a permanent situation. Yes, this situation was to help
Speaker 1: us with you wanted to we have another child. So
Speaker 1: now we have an uh infant living with us. But
Speaker 1: our plan, ultimately and your God blessed us with an
Speaker 1: abundance and the things we can do, but to buy
Speaker 1: our parents at home near us so that they can
Speaker 1: be the spoiled grandparents over there, over there, over there
Speaker 1: to your grandparents, or Mommy and Daddy have to run out.
Speaker 1: We're gonna drop you by Grandma Grandma and we'll pick
Speaker 1: you up on our way. Grandma Grandma can pick you up,
Speaker 1: drop you home, stay for a little bit, and then
Speaker 1: go at night, so that way Daddy can't get his niceness.
Speaker 1: You see how I did that? Quench this yats. I
Speaker 1: don't want to see no doc, but you want to
Speaker 1: see Dick. I need to send my nurse around. All right, y'all,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and then we are going
Speaker 1: to come back with listener letters. Because did that looky
Speaker 1: that's become his every portion. He likes style stories, he does.
Speaker 1: All right, we're back. I'm gonna jump right in. I
Speaker 1: just want to start off by saying how much of
Speaker 1: an inspiration you all have been to me. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: three and I just recently moved to Colorado to be
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend and I've been in a long distan
Speaker 1: relationship from for seven years. Wow. So you've been with
Speaker 1: sixteen Wow. Yeah, that's a long time. Everything has been
Speaker 1: going amazing, from the relationship to my personal and work life.
Speaker 1: The issue that I'm having now is that my mother,
Speaker 1: who happens to be white. I hope you don't mind
Speaker 1: if this is a novel like Devil says, because I
Speaker 1: want to give context. So it's been over a year
Speaker 1: of this so called beef this woman has with me.
Speaker 1: Before I moved to Colorado. There were they were they
Speaker 1: were staying in a hotel, and still is with her husband,
Speaker 1: kids and dogs. I'm not here to bad, sure, but
Speaker 1: she is constantly disrespecting our relationship by completely ignoring the
Speaker 1: fact that we live together. She talks about me to him. Recently,
Speaker 1: she decided to post a personal sin uh whoa she
Speaker 1: ties a post and personally send my boyfriend pictures of
Speaker 1: him and his ex because it was a memory on
Speaker 1: Facebook and she wanted him to see the beautiful smiles
Speaker 1: and happiness even though they aren't together. What mind you?
Speaker 1: When they were together, she called her the devil and
Speaker 1: their breakup was pretty nasty, so we both were confused
Speaker 1: on what she was trying to accomplish. As bad as
Speaker 1: I wanted to pull up on her, I know I
Speaker 1: could possibly lose everything I'm building with my boyfriend. It's
Speaker 1: so this is his mom, Okay. It's taking a lot
Speaker 1: out of me mentally to not beat her as because
Speaker 1: I'm twenty three, because I'm trying to learn how to
Speaker 1: give people grace for myself, I cannot continue in a
Speaker 1: relationship with her. But it still bothers me because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, she is still his mother,
Speaker 1: and even though they may fight, they forgive and move
Speaker 1: on and she continues the cycle at this point and
Speaker 1: he is numb to her bs. But I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm just getting started. Man. He says to me all
Speaker 1: the time that I am his family now and he'll
Speaker 1: do anything to make sure I'm happy. I just want
Speaker 1: I just don't know how to move forward. So if
Speaker 1: you can give me some advice, that would be something
Speaker 1: I can hold onto for the rest of my life. Wow,
Speaker 1: we just talked about meddling. Mother in law's right. The
Speaker 1: first thing is she's young. They've been together since it
Speaker 1: was seven, His mom probably doesn't respect I was about
Speaker 1: to say, because your mom too. I mean not that
Speaker 1: she didn't ever disrespect to me, but at eighteen when
Speaker 1: we both were met, but we both met and we're
Speaker 1: hot and heavy in this relationship even into our twenties,
Speaker 1: she was like, why don't you slow down? Like be
Speaker 1: an individual, be independent? And those are all things that
Speaker 1: we said, and we've agreed that now they were completely
Speaker 1: right about. So she may not, even, like you said,
Speaker 1: acknowledge the fact that she's really a girlfriend, especially with
Speaker 1: a long since relationship for seven years. She's probably just
Speaker 1: like whatever, let's see. I too don't know what she
Speaker 1: was trying to accomplish by posting that last girlfriend accomplished.
Speaker 1: You don't want them together, She don't like them together.
Speaker 1: You don't like like this. This is the truth, yo.
Speaker 1: Mom's always feel like whoever the girl is is not
Speaker 1: good enough for their son, the same way your mom
Speaker 1: felt like I wasn't good enough for you. She said,
Speaker 1: you could have walked in the house with Jesus himself
Speaker 1: holding the cross and it wouldn't have been good enough
Speaker 1: for my daughter. So I get it when you're a parent,
Speaker 1: unless that person has proven to you or your child
Speaker 1: has proven to you the capacity to pick the right person.
Speaker 1: They always feel like that person is not good enough.
Speaker 1: So that's really what she was doing. Like she's just
Speaker 1: a meddling mom. She can be immature in her own way.
Speaker 1: I wonder if he's an only child too, because sometimes
Speaker 1: too if he's an owner boy. She said that she
Speaker 1: lives in a hotel with her boyfriend. Oh yes, with
Speaker 1: her husband kids, and so she has some issues she
Speaker 1: needs to work out with herself. And her son is
Speaker 1: her oldest son, maybe her you know, the apple of
Speaker 1: her eye. You know, she didn't say with her fault
Speaker 1: with with his father, her husband, which means this is
Speaker 1: someone else and it could be his kids, Like you said,
Speaker 1: this could be her only child. So I think it's
Speaker 1: the thing where separation. You see that your son is
Speaker 1: getting closer to someone, and let me see if I
Speaker 1: could throw a little wrench here, because she may be
Speaker 1: a little ratchet. His mom may be a little ratchet.
Speaker 1: So you know, if you love him, continue to happen
Speaker 1: happen with his mother, who happens to be white. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that she's white, yeah, so I mean,
Speaker 1: you know she she could be white. And right, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, but yeah, So my thing is, if you
Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship with the person, you
Speaker 1: can't avoid their mom. There's a lot of conversations need
Speaker 1: to be had. A lot of people like I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk. I don't have the conversations. You want
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship. Conversations need to be had.
Speaker 1: Communication needs to happen. She may not like what you say,
Speaker 1: you may not like what she says, but at least
Speaker 1: if you guys have the conversation and there's an understanding,
Speaker 1: there's no I don't know because right now, which is
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, you do know what
Speaker 1: to do? Or I don't know why not like me? Right?
Speaker 1: And then yeah, you never know something. There may be
Speaker 1: something about you that's not Rubert ho the right way,
Speaker 1: and you won't know that until you investigate it. So
Speaker 1: good luck to you on that, all right, Next one,
Speaker 1: what up? How do you guys deal with people not
Speaker 1: respecting your relationship boundaries? My boyfriend of three years has
Speaker 1: started a personal trainer business, and going into this, I
Speaker 1: knew women would flock and whatnot. I mentally prepared myself
Speaker 1: for this because my father also had the same businesses.
Speaker 1: He has one one particular client that I can't seem
Speaker 1: to keep her flirting to herself and keep saying inappropriate
Speaker 1: things to him. To him, it's harmless, mainly because he
Speaker 1: doesn't pay attention to the other women flirting, which flirting
Speaker 1: with him, which I love. I don't mind people flirting me.
Speaker 1: Sagittarius and him Gemini both are very protective of each other.
Speaker 1: Although I know he's happy here, insecurities are eating me alive.
Speaker 1: Help me before I start snatching wigs. This I understand
Speaker 1: we did from Dena. You know, it is not his
Speaker 1: job to make you feel secure. You have to figure
Speaker 1: that out on your own. And I'm interesting to know,
Speaker 1: interested to know if her issues with this comes from
Speaker 1: what she saw her father do or how her father
Speaker 1: dealt with these women. If her pops handled these women accordingly,
Speaker 1: she probably wouldn't be insecure. But if he didn't handle
Speaker 1: them properly, then it's like, yeah, I see what my
Speaker 1: pops did this thinking might do the same thing to
Speaker 1: right right right there, so she might have a little
Speaker 1: bit that she's taken from that previous relationship with her
Speaker 1: father and his businessess over here also too, he's a
Speaker 1: personal trainer, so I would assume that he's probably fit,
Speaker 1: in shape, good looking. Maybe you know the women are
Speaker 1: coming at him. However, do you trust absolutely? Get who?
Speaker 1: Look at who I am married to personal training? Now
Speaker 1: you're an actor, sex symbol, all that your star is
Speaker 1: only right, I think it's safe to say, especially I
Speaker 1: think the nail in the coffin for that was the
Speaker 1: the special shout out to the team and Dakota, who
Speaker 1: is the product of our own in home Blue Life special. However,
Speaker 1: but I'm you know, I know who I'm married, so
Speaker 1: I know that women are going to try. I know
Speaker 1: that women are going to flirt. I also know that
Speaker 1: I married someone who flirts. And it boils down to
Speaker 1: do I trust you? Do you trust your man? Sis?
Speaker 1: Because before you start snatching wigs and start being that girlfriend,
Speaker 1: I think there's more power in being the woman that
Speaker 1: just sits back and trusts her man and says, you
Speaker 1: know what, I don't have to necessarily snatch a wig
Speaker 1: because he knows what he got at home. He ain't
Speaker 1: concerned about you and you're flirting. But don't beat yourself
Speaker 1: up and give yourself grief grace. Please give yourself if
Speaker 1: you feel as if that might have bothered me because
Speaker 1: Conans dealt with Yes, absolutely, I've had had moments that
Speaker 1: bothered me. And sometimes the stuff that Devou has done
Speaker 1: or is something that actually, like another woman has done
Speaker 1: over the course of the years, and we talked about it.
Speaker 1: We talked about it. We have open comments. When something
Speaker 1: bothers her, she brings it right to me, and we
Speaker 1: have debates about if it even is valid. But that's
Speaker 1: not the point. The point is if it bothered you,
Speaker 1: we have to talk about it. So now I will
Speaker 1: say I don't necessarily always bring it to him the
Speaker 1: right way, you know what I mean. I will say that,
Speaker 1: you know, over the course of our relationship for twenty years,
Speaker 1: I've had my moments where I probably could have dealt
Speaker 1: with things better. And I try to admit that, and
Speaker 1: I try to see the fall in my actions and
Speaker 1: just say, you know what, I might have been flying
Speaker 1: off the handle in that moment, you know, But um,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have the conversation regardless, and at least you
Speaker 1: do engage me in those and you don't just completely
Speaker 1: make me feel like I'm crazy. But because it's not
Speaker 1: my job to make you feel secure, I want to
Speaker 1: assure you that I'm not going to disrespect our union
Speaker 1: and disrespect you. You know what I'm saying. So I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to do it to make you feel secure,
Speaker 1: but I want you to know like we're on the
Speaker 1: same page chair of what you want and what I want,
Speaker 1: and that's what's important. So I think she should do
Speaker 1: the same thing with her boyfriend. Like if this bothers you,
Speaker 1: say something, but don't expect to hear something from him
Speaker 1: that's gonna make you feel better, because until you make
Speaker 1: yourself feel better, you're still gonna feel the same way.
Speaker 1: That's a fact. All right, y'all. If you want to
Speaker 1: be featured as a listener letter, be sure to email
Speaker 1: us at dead Ask Advice at gmail dot com. That's
Speaker 1: D E A D A S S A D V
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, now,
Speaker 1: moment of truth time. It's very simple for me. The
Speaker 1: moment of truth is this, do what you need to
Speaker 1: create peace in your home. If that means moving in
Speaker 1: your in laws to help with certain things, do that.
Speaker 1: You know, it's been great for us. Um. Of course,
Speaker 1: there's some bumps in the road. People might wear your slippers. Um,
Speaker 1: you can't have the same loud, wild sex that you
Speaker 1: want to have. You can't walk around naked in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night when you want to go to
Speaker 1: the fridge. You know, you how to put clothes on.
Speaker 1: Somebody might be out there in your slippers, you know,
Speaker 1: or your your Nike uh slides. But that's part for
Speaker 1: the course, because I also have opportunities to go travel
Speaker 1: and do things with my beautiful partner in crime because
Speaker 1: her parents are here to help hold down the fort.
Speaker 1: So do what you can to create peace in your home.
Speaker 1: Understand that help is needed and everything that you hear
Speaker 1: about in laws is not always true. I love my
Speaker 1: in laws, you know, even though they wear my ship.
Speaker 1: We love them. We love him, and my parents love
Speaker 1: them just the same. I guess the moment of truth
Speaker 1: is um to aim to find a way to give
Speaker 1: grace to all the adults living in the house, because
Speaker 1: ultimately we're all adults. Yes, um, But I think once
Speaker 1: the level of respects stays there, you can still have
Speaker 1: the conversations with your parents, um with your spouse to
Speaker 1: say hey, I didn't like when you did this, or
Speaker 1: this is how we're going to be doing it in
Speaker 1: our host household with our children. So please respect that
Speaker 1: if you're going to be here like those are the
Speaker 1: kind of conversations that we needed to have, and I
Speaker 1: think they should be had, especially if someone's going to
Speaker 1: be full time in your house with you and your
Speaker 1: children until you know the other opportunity presents itself for
Speaker 1: them to have Mimi and Papa's house. And and just
Speaker 1: to add here, I find honor and pleasure in knowing
Speaker 1: that we were being We were able to create a lifestyle,
Speaker 1: to have a house big enough to house all of
Speaker 1: our kids and help that there's travel and that our
Speaker 1: kids can have a sense of normalcy, knowing that I
Speaker 1: always go home and I know where home is, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be people there to receive me when
Speaker 1: I get there and love me and love on me
Speaker 1: and spoil me. Alright, y'all, be sure to follow us
Speaker 1: on social media. Dead Ask the podcast and you can
Speaker 1: find me. I am and you know where to find me.
Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe Dead Ask Spolkes You.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast
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