1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Yo, I don't just live with one of my in laws. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: I live with both of my in laws. Laugh at that, 3 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: And it's funny because no matter how much space we 4 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,240 Speaker 1: thought we had in this house, when you live with 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:32,279 Speaker 1: your parents, there's not enough space. Dead As. Hey, I'm 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: Cadine and we're the ellis Is. You may know us 7 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: from posting funny videos with our boys and reading each 8 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 1: other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make 9 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: you need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important 10 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,919 Speaker 1: thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created this 11 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: podcast to open dialogue about some of the live's most 12 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about. 13 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: Do the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead As 14 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: is the turn that we say every day. So when 15 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, 16 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about 17 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: to take pillow talk to a whole new level. Dead 18 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: Ass starts right now. So story time, we have stories 19 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: for days, Stories for days. Days gonna be like a 20 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: whole big story Time episode. Right this story takes me 21 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: back to last week. All right, your pops, I love him. 22 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 1: It's my guy Joe makes me the rum punch, you 23 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, always checks on the pool. I 24 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: need him check on the pool garbage, takes the garbage. 25 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: Like he's just my guy, right, I don't I don't 26 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,559 Speaker 1: ever have to worry about certain things because he, as 27 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: the other man in the house, takes care of it. 28 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: But the other day I went to get my Nike 29 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: flip flops the cloth joints with the memory fold insoles, 30 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,920 Speaker 1: and your father had my Nike flip flops on and 31 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: he was barefoot right walking around the house. Now you 32 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: know your pops feet. It's a tragedy, broo, tragedies my 33 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: father's feet alone. And he walked right he walked right 34 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: by me with my flip flops on, and I just 35 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: looked at him, like and he looked at me, and 36 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: he looked down and he's like, I just trow these on, 37 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: you know, because I had to go outside and take 38 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:44,959 Speaker 1: out the trash, so you was doing manual, sweaty labor activity. 39 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: In my memory, that's not what those are. Four Those 40 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: are my comfort flip flops. And he's like, no, man, 41 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: there's nothing worried about this, nothing wrong with them. No, 42 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: those are yours. Now those are no longer my flip flops. 43 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: Those are your flip flops. I will get me another 44 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: pair of flip flop. But that's the price that comes 45 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: with having help that lives here in the house. You're 46 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: randomly just see somebody that it's not you, walked by 47 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: you wearing some of your ship like your pops, Like 48 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: your mom's used to wear my forty nine slippers and 49 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: be stomping around the apartment. Something about my parents and 50 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: y'all see a slippers. It could just because y'all are 51 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: all the same size. Yeah. The fact that your mom's 52 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: wear the same size to me, and she said her 53 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: feet grew aside with every child, got me looking at 54 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: your feet, now, what is happening. I might I might 55 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: have a little weight, my famie. My feet might be 56 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 1: a little swollen still, But that's it because I dedicated 57 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: story time to your pops. This song always reminds me 58 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: of your pops because when I first started coming around 59 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: you guys, this was his favorite song. Yeah, he used 60 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: to play on his CD or he had a cassette 61 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: at the time in his life. It was an old car. 62 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: He still had a cassette and he would play that 63 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: cassette tape all the time, and this was definitely a 64 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: song that was always playing in it, and he played 65 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: it so much that it didn't even sound like the 66 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: song no more, because you know, after a while it 67 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: is rubbed out. Ready, Tell I try your best, just 68 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 1: to make it quick. Do do do do. Woman tended 69 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: this sick because there must be something she can do. 70 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:32,119 Speaker 1: This heart is broken into Tell her it's a case 71 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: of emergency. There's a patient by that Amo Gregory eight 72 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: mm hmmm, Ninness, do doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. 73 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: Only you alone can quench the satters. H m m my, Ninness, 74 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: Oh god, old and pain is getting worse. I know 75 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: that was his song too, because he married a nurse, 76 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: and it was just like perfect that that might have 77 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: been a thing, and I always thought it was just 78 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: it was just like dope. He used to, you know, 79 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: sing that song and your mom was a nurse. I 80 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: was like, right, And then now if I want to 81 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: play a night nurse, I can't even be that because 82 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: somebody might bust through the door, bust through the hallway. 83 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: So we had to tread lightly. Well, let's get a 84 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: little quick break yeah, we wanna take a quick break 85 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: and won't come back into some story times and let 86 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: y'all know about what it's like living with your parents. 87 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: All right, So we're back, and um, let's preface this 88 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: conversation with saying that it was your choice and your 89 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: desire to help me out by having someone else here 90 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: in the house that we trust to be able to 91 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: assist with the kids and you know, our day to 92 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: day and all that stuff. And with both my parents 93 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: being retired, they were the ones that were better equipped 94 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: in this moment to be able to do that for us. 95 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 1: Dud ask me all the time, how can you live 96 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: with your mother in law? This is the first thing, right. 97 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 1: My mother in law is not a traditional mother in 98 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:23,280 Speaker 1: law in the sense that people tend to not like 99 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: their mother in law or they don't get along with 100 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 1: their mother in law because their mother in law is 101 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: overbearing or pushy. One thing about Mimi is Mimi knows 102 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: like the boundaries, and Mimi knows that this is what 103 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: I want to be to my family to help my 104 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: grandkids and my daughter. So with that comes her having 105 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: a responsibility to understand that we need our privacy and 106 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: we need our space. The first thing is it's not 107 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: hard for me to live with my mother in law 108 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: because we have an understanding, and that understanding came with conversation. 109 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, in open lines of communication. 110 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: So for for all of the guys who are asked me, like, YO, 111 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: how is it living with your mother? That's the first thing. 112 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: The second thing is my life became exponentially better when 113 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: I became open to having someone in the house to 114 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: help Codeine with the children, because it started with Cairo 115 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: with Jackson, we Codeine and I balanced. I was our 116 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: only child. We balanced. We do back and forth. But 117 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: even then your mom used to come by after work 118 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: and helping nights and stuff like that. But we had 119 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: no one living with us when it came to Cairo, 120 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: and then kas Grandma came and stayed with us. And 121 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: this brings me to another story. Codeine and I had 122 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: an argument because she was supposed to bring the car 123 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: back we only have one car. At the time, I 124 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: was supposed to go to work. She told me she 125 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: was going to be back in a little while. Forty 126 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: five minutes turned into three hours. I was calling her, 127 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: she didn't answer her phone. Finally she comes back in 128 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: and we have an argument, full blown argument in front 129 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: of Grandma and everything as in the other room. Grandma 130 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: was in the other room, but she could obviously hear. 131 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: We're in the apartment at this point. Yeah, after the argument, 132 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: it's always that feeling like shoot, because Nina said to me, 133 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: you know, you haven't argument Grandma's day. Grandma's almost like, man, 134 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: grandma been living here, did you hear what goes on? 135 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: The next day, Grandma comes to me. She said this 136 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: to me. She said, you know, baby, I'm here, but 137 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm not here. And she looked right at me like 138 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: I'm here, but I'm not here. And I knew what 139 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 1: she meant, and I appreciated that. And there was no judgment, 140 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 1: There was no nothing. It was as if the argument 141 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: never happens, as if she heard nothing because she says 142 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 1: she's here, but she's not here. So one thing I 143 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: know that my mom or my grandmother or my father 144 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 1: won't do is insert themselves into and if they do 145 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: over here something because like it's impossible for me. I'm 146 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: always just like, well about we arguing, but like, can 147 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: we argue in the privacy of our room versus arguing 148 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,439 Speaker 1: and then your voice carrying through the entire house. Um, 149 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,599 Speaker 1: you know, because that's just something I'm mindful of with 150 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,439 Speaker 1: anybody who's around. UM, because you're also just fearful of 151 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: people being in your business, and usually we want to 152 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: keep those things internal, but it's hard when you have 153 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: somebody living in your home and then you know that's 154 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: just what it is. UM. But yeah, Grandma was good 155 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: for that to the times that she had come to stay. 156 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: But I appreciated you, um, having the foresight to see 157 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: our Kidian is probably gonna need some help. So for example, 158 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: when we moved from the apartment in New York to California, 159 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: we were moving to an area where we had no 160 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: one in terms of like no village, no family, no friends. 161 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: This was just like a clean move. So I had 162 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: tons of anxiety just with the thought of moving with 163 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: At that point, we had three children, two of whom 164 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: were two under two, and I was like, what is 165 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: that gonna look like for us, especially to knowing that 166 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 1: we were going to l A with the hopes of 167 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 1: expanding careers, making connections and relationships and going to events 168 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: and stuff. And of course this was pre COVID, so 169 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: UM Devil was like, yo, you know your mom just 170 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: left her job. You know, she's about to retire and 171 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: whatnot what about it. She comes along with us, and 172 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 1: we felt like it was also doing some good for 173 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,319 Speaker 1: her to to kind of have a change of scenery. 174 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: She was working so many years in the same place, 175 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: very stressful job, UM working as a director of nursing, 176 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,079 Speaker 1: very thankless job. So we felt like it was a 177 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: good time to maybe give her a break and change 178 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: of scenery and also to one thing my mother lives 179 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: for is her grandchildren. So she wanted to be where 180 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: she can be close and be of help to us 181 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: and be you know, very staple in the children's life. 182 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: Because all she could envision was her being in New 183 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: York and her grandchildren being cross country. She didn't want 184 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: that at all. So it was like a win win 185 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,559 Speaker 1: for everyone, and she came with us UM, which ended 186 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: up being perfect because you ended up filming Tyler Perry's 187 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: first season or second season was yeah, when we were 188 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: actually doing the move from Brooklyn across country to California, 189 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,559 Speaker 1: and then again the move from California to Georgia. You 190 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: just happened to be which I think he really like, 191 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: is in with TP to make sure that he's filming 192 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: and can't help with the move. Nobody does likely story, 193 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: likely story. So um, so yeah, that was something that 194 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,319 Speaker 1: I appreciated that you even had the foresight because not 195 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: everybody has. Everyone has the idea of living with a 196 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: parents or living with an in law, and that can 197 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 1: definitely be a negative situation if you let it. See, 198 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: this is my thing, man, I'm I'm I'm a man 199 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: of this is my house. So I feel like it's 200 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: my responsibility to make sure that everyone in my house 201 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 1: exists in the sense in the space of peace. Right, 202 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 1: not just you, but the kids, your mom, your dad. 203 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: For me having your mom and then eventually your dad 204 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: comes stay with us, was about giving you a space 205 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:48,959 Speaker 1: to be comfortable and not feel overwhelmed. Right. Um. A 206 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: lot of times I feel like people feel like stay 207 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: at home mom is an easy job until you've had 208 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: to take care of a child or children at home 209 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 1: for hours at a time, you don't realize with that 210 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: entails me being selfish, you know, it's being selfish. Was like, 211 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,559 Speaker 1: I want to be able to spend time with my wife. 212 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: I want my wife to at least have energy to 213 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: be able to engage in the stuff that we've accustomed 214 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: to since we were eighteen, like randomly on a Tuesday 215 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: going bowling, right when Friday Date nights, having on Friday 216 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: Date nights, you know, stuff that we always did from 217 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 1: the time we were eighteen, all the way through college, 218 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: the NFL, and before we had kids. Now we're in 219 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: the space where we don't work nine to fives, and 220 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: we we've built our empire to where we have autonomy 221 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,559 Speaker 1: over our time. I don't want to then have to 222 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 1: dedicate time to just being here for my kids if 223 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily have to be here. I also wanted 224 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,719 Speaker 1: to be a husband and I want my wife to 225 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: be able to be a wife. So for me, it 226 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 1: was like, it's Tuesday, it's eight o'clock. If we could 227 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 1: just pick up and go bowling for a couple of 228 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: hours and come back, the only way that's gonna happen 229 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 1: is if someone was here with the kids that I trusted. 230 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,839 Speaker 1: So for me, it was your mom. On top of that, 231 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,719 Speaker 1: she cooks, she cleans, she does laundry like she's a 232 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: a full participant and making the house go around. So 233 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 1: it's not stuck on you all the time. It's not 234 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: stuck on me when you have to work. You know, 235 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: we all pitch in around here and it makes the 236 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: workload a lot smaller for all of us, so we 237 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,959 Speaker 1: can all exist in a sense of peace exactly. And 238 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: one thing that was important for me, as much as 239 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 1: my mother is here to help, we also insisted that 240 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: she take up something that she likes and like she 241 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,319 Speaker 1: always wanted to do. So whereas she's a great help 242 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: to us and she does things with us around the house. 243 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: Or when I had my date nights with the boys 244 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: when you were away filming and I was able to 245 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: take one child out at a time for even they 246 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: just to spend time with them, and she stayed back 247 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: with the other ones. That was helpful. But I encouraged 248 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: her to say, Mom, like you have dedicated your entire 249 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,719 Speaker 1: life to building a life for myself, my brother, and 250 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: my sister. I want you to now be able to 251 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: do something that you've always wanted to do, or just 252 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,959 Speaker 1: take some time to yourself during the week, because she 253 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: was literally here with us, just you know, at home 254 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: with the kids and stuff. So now that we've been 255 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 1: in Georgia, I'm like, you've always wanted to play tennis. Mom. 256 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: You love to exercise and you like to work out 257 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: and stay healthy. Why not pick up tennis lessons? And 258 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,079 Speaker 1: she was like, you know what, you're right. So twice 259 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,599 Speaker 1: a week now she goes. She goes to her a 260 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: tennis lesson and she enjoys. She thinks she's Serena Williams 261 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 1: and I'm here for it. I am here for it. 262 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,559 Speaker 1: I'll never forget when she called us. One thing that's 263 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: her name is Sami Williams. I'll never forget that one 264 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 1: morning that she called. She had a little accident on 265 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: the tennis court and she called me because she's just like, 266 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: I just got hit in the eye with the tennis ball. 267 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: Somebody come pick me up. I can't And she's like 268 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: hut on the phone. So I'm like, oh my god, mom, 269 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: it's an emergency. And um, there's lots of funny moments 270 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: in that because in her having that moment where she 271 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: was just so distraught over her accident and she was 272 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: concerned about her face being bruised, Devil was able to 273 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: find the humor in that. And then when we got 274 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: back home, he's standing there with a garbage bag of 275 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: ice for her eye. To make light of the situation. 276 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: She look like, you know what, you're so dramatic Develo. 277 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, he's too dramatic that to we out together, 278 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 1: forget it. Forget it. It was funny. But you know, 279 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're able to provide a space where 280 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: I feel like everyone kind of is able to win 281 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: in the circumstance we get. The help the children was 282 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: also very important for me. Um now having left New York, 283 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: where we have our home base. I mean, we have 284 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: your parents, your brother, your sister, their cousins, my brother 285 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: and my sister. We were literally uprooting from their again, 286 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: moving to an area where we've had minimal friends, a 287 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: lot more in Georgia than we did in California. But 288 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: now I'm grateful that my children are able to bond 289 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: and grow with their grandparents in the house to an extent, 290 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: because for me, it now allows them the opportunity to 291 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: have those memories like I remember the time that I 292 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: spent with my grandparents the same way you did. And 293 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: I know both of our parents were very mindful and 294 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: purposeful about us spending time with our grandparents. So we 295 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: have those memories and we have those relationships. So Um, 296 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're able to provide that for the 297 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: kids now where they have me, me and Papa in 298 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: the house with them, and a lot of their reason 299 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: stories they're probably gonna tell because our kids are little 300 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: comedians too, and I'm sure they're going to have their 301 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: little stories and they had their inside jokes right now 302 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: when they, you know, make fun of their grandparents the 303 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: same way I did with my brother. I'm happy that 304 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: they have that um but but with all that, I'm sorry, 305 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: but I do think it's a point for people to understand, 306 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: like how much of a benefit it is, because you know, 307 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: we're gonna make jokes and tell stories about living with 308 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: our parents, but just really understanding when as as a husband, 309 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: when you can see that your wife needs a break 310 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: and be able to just say, Yogo, get dressed, let's 311 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: go out, and know that there's an adult or adults 312 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: here who can manage your family of four boys is 313 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: a really good feeling I have. And not just someone 314 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: who can manage, but love your children absolutely. I always say, 315 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: if it can't be me, and if it can't be you, 316 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: it's going to have to be our parents. And you 317 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: know your mom wakes up. I grew up very independent. 318 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 1: I grew up in the morning since the time I 319 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: was eight years old and we moved to CANARSI I 320 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: got up, I got my own breakfast ready, I made 321 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: my own sandwich. I got my brother. We walked to 322 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: school by ourselves. After school, I got my brother, we 323 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: walked back home. I made us I'll snack after school. 324 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: I helped a homework like I did all of that myself. 325 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: And I remember saying when I get older, I want 326 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: to have the type of life where there will be 327 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: someone to wake up with my children, take them to school, 328 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: and and be there to receive them when they come home. 329 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: Because my brother and I spent hours at home by 330 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: ourselves where things happen, and when you spent of time 331 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: by yourselves. So and kudos to my parents and your 332 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,399 Speaker 1: parents for doing what they had to do in their 333 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: time and to be able to raise successful uh humans 334 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 1: while both of my parents working and not having their 335 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: parents be able to come and live with them like 336 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: we have. My parents used to send me to Tennessee 337 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: every summer eight weeks to ten weeks. Um I used 338 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: when I was younger. I used to go to my 339 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 1: own weezy's house after school, so I felt I spent 340 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: time with a lot of family, being able to create 341 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 1: this space where I could buy a house big enough 342 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 1: where we could house your your parents, and have my 343 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 1: parents and have the kids here. It's just a huge blessing. 344 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,119 Speaker 1: You know. The jokes are going to be the jokes, 345 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,880 Speaker 1: but people really need to understand the blessing of being 346 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: up late at night it's four or five in the morning, 347 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: your wife is sleep deprived, your sleep deprived, and be 348 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: able to just take the baby to someone to say. 349 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: When we talked about outsourcing back in another episode, and 350 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: like you know, for example, having the night nurse or 351 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 1: the night doula who comes into help with the baby 352 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: or something. It's almost as if I'm having a DLA 353 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: can present itself in many different forms in this circumstance. 354 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: It's my mom, and it's my dad, you know. My 355 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: dad also to helping with cooking and things like that. 356 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: So we are very fortunate to be able to have that, 357 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: and it's definitely a blessing. Like you said, um, you know, 358 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: and then with it being a blessing, there's also those 359 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 1: moments where you're just like, yes, okay, how much longer 360 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 1: are they going to be in here full time? You know? Um? 361 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: And I just say that you know because yes, it's 362 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,679 Speaker 1: my mom and my dad, your mother in law, your 363 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: father in law, it's me, me and Papa. But it's 364 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: also for adults for existing in the house together. But 365 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: I will say, which can happens moments you don't be 366 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 1: having no issues the two people that we have issues. Okay, 367 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: if we be honest and you come by the middle 368 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 1: of the day, you know, say you want to drink, 369 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: Let me buy you a drink. Let you make me 370 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 1: a drink, because you know I'll be stressed out about drinks. 371 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,880 Speaker 1: We talk about life, we talk about stuff. I teach 372 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: him how to play pool, he cheats. It's like, it's 373 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 1: just what it is, like, that's our relationship, you and 374 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: your mom is you know, there was a saying, you know, 375 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 1: two of mine can't live in the same home. Yep, yep, 376 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 1: to exactly. So yeah, so that has it definitely has 377 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 1: this moment sometimes. And while I know, as my mom 378 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: would like to say, it's coming from a good place, 379 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: it's coming from a good place trying to help um, 380 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 1: it can be overbearing sometimes for me because it's like, 381 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes there's a moment where I'm like, oh, yeah, 382 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: I did forget such and such and it's a great reminder. 383 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: And then there's other moments where it's just like I 384 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: got it under control. For example, when uh Dakota was 385 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 1: forced born, it was maybe a couple of weeks old 386 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, so I had him in the 387 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 1: little sling, you know, baby carrier and whatnot. And despite 388 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: the fact that my parents are here, I still acknowledge 389 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: that I'm mom, Like that's my sole responsibility and my 390 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 1: main role is to be mom and to still mother 391 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: while my parents are here. So I was mombing because 392 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 1: at the same time too, I want my parents to 393 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: have a little break, like, I don't expect you to 394 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: be running out of my kids. Seven, go downstairs, take 395 00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:41,119 Speaker 1: a nap, do what you gotta do, go to play tennis. 396 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: Come back. It's good. So I'm getting Cayro Jackson a 397 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 1: cast situated for dinner. I'm in the middle of making dinner. 398 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 1: I have the baby, you know, on my arm, kind 399 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: of strapped into the sling kind of halfway and you know, 400 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 1: I'm doing something on the stove, and then I put 401 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: that down and I'm like looking at my phone. So 402 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: I'm doing a couple of the multitasking as far as 403 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: I'm concerned. I got it under control. So then my 404 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 1: mom swoops in and she's like going to pull the 405 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 1: baby from my arms, and I'm just like, what are 406 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: you doing? And she's like, you're cooking with the baby 407 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,840 Speaker 1: near the stool, and I'm just like, yes, as I've 408 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: done with Kaz, as I've done with Cairo and Jackson, 409 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: i think I'm equipped, and I understand that there's a 410 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 1: hot stove here and there's a child, and I'm good, 411 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: I'm okay. So it looked like she got a little 412 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: like taken aback in that moment, but I'm just like, sis, like, 413 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 1: I got it under control, you know, because no mother 414 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: can mother like the mother that is mothering in that moment. 415 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 1: So your mom thinks she's the best mother to have 416 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: a mother ever, if you think you're the best mother 417 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 1: to have a mother, ever, that's how most mothers are. 418 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,119 Speaker 1: So when you have two mothers and mothering at the 419 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: same time, it's gonna be a motherfucking problem. And that's 420 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: just what simultaneous mothering sometimes can just get to be 421 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 1: a bit much. So it's funny because our midwife had, 422 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: as we all know, moved in here for like three 423 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 1: weeks to be able to be here for Dakota's birth, 424 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: and after speaking to her, being here, she's she she 425 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: pretty much observed our family dynamic for three weeks un censored, 426 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: like she just got everybody for who they are, and 427 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: in talking to her after and it's kind of joking 428 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 1: about like everything that had happened and funny moments because 429 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: we literally were like one big, happy family when she 430 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: was here. She was able to pick up on like 431 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: is ums that like my mom had, my dad had that, 432 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: I had devout head And I'm like, wait a second, 433 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 1: do you double as a therapist? Girl? Because at the 434 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: same time you were having this you're helping me have 435 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: this baby, but you were also being like girl. I 436 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: noticed this that in the third after I had asked her, 437 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 1: like what did you think about certain situations? And it's 438 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,640 Speaker 1: funny because it's some of the same things that I've 439 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: felt or I've said or I vocalized. And sometimes when 440 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 1: you vocalize that to your parents as the child, they 441 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: take it as an attack or disrespect, like how how 442 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: can you say that about me? But I'm just like, 443 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,119 Speaker 1: you know what, I learned to give my parents a 444 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: grace because they're also he in beings and they also 445 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: you know they have there is um the same way 446 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: I do, the same way you say to me, Cadine, 447 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: you didn't say something the way you thought you said it. 448 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: You said it in a very snappy manner. I didn't 449 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,199 Speaker 1: snap the value can interject, I see you going off 450 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,239 Speaker 1: on your mom. No, no, I'm not going on at her. 451 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 1: And I'm just saying what people are feelings. Codeine, my 452 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: wife and I love so much, has about her mom 453 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 1: be the same feelings I'll be having about Codine. Yeah? Absolutely, 454 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 1: Where did I get it from? Recognize what I'm saying. 455 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: And I watch her go at it with her mom 456 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 1: and say the same thing to her mom that I'll 457 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: be saying to her, and I'll just be looking at 458 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 1: her like a far from the tree. And then it's 459 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: triggering for me because then I'm like, oh my god, 460 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 1: I am becoming my mom. But then again, if you 461 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: talk about attachment styles, you talk about the way you're 462 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 1: parented and the way that then manifests itself in relationships 463 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 1: and whatnot, I can totally see it. I'm not I'm 464 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: not a stranger to that. I'm not going to deny 465 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: it either, But sometimes you need that. But you used 466 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 1: to deny it before. There's a lot of times I 467 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: didn't have to say I didn't want to definitely acting 468 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 1: like your mom and used to be like and I 469 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: used to be like, I'm I'm just saying like the 470 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: same things that you said that bother you about your 471 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: mom and what she does. You you're doing that to 472 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: our kids. You're doing that to us as helpful for 473 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: me to know, so I can stop doing that because 474 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,200 Speaker 1: something I don't want to be the annoying mom either. 475 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,120 Speaker 1: There's another dynamic though, right when you move a mom 476 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: into the house to help, I will say it was 477 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: more beneficial for us that it was your mom and 478 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: not my mom, mainly because when it's the husband's mom, right, 479 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,880 Speaker 1: my mom and you don't have that type of connection. 480 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: And it's a house, so it's your house. When it's 481 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: your house, you feel more comfortable checking your mom. You 482 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,919 Speaker 1: feel she crossed the boundary. If it's my mom, now 483 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: it's just like, how do I check his mom? Because 484 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: then my my mom has that feeling of it's my 485 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 1: son's house. You see what I'm saying. So when you 486 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: think about which mom to move in, because my mom 487 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: is the one that told me this we had this 488 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: issue before where I felt like my my mom wasn't 489 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: as involved as much as candiced mom and my mom 490 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 1: and I had built resentment towards my mom because of that, 491 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 1: and I was just like, you know, you don't come around, 492 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: you don't do this, you don't ask about this. And 493 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 1: she was like, well, you know, you have a wife, 494 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: and I was just like, I do have a wife, 495 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,680 Speaker 1: and my wife mom helps and she's like, because that's 496 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: her daughter. I have a daughter, and when my daughter 497 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: has her house, I'll be there to help her. But 498 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 1: you have a wife, she has a mom. I'm not 499 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: going to be the overbearing mother in law. I'm not 500 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: going And I didn't understand it until she explained it 501 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,439 Speaker 1: that way, and I was like, you know what, She's right, 502 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 1: absolutely right. You have a relationship with your mom where 503 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,880 Speaker 1: y'all can do that. It's gonna cause contention if it's 504 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: my mom and you, well think about it, because then 505 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 1: what's gonna happen If I don't feel comforta speaking to 506 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: your mom about it, who's going to be the conduit? 507 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,919 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be talking to you, and if your mom 508 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 1: has issues's gonna be talking to you. And then all 509 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: the stress is gonna come on you, and that's something 510 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: you're trying to avoid by having a parent president in 511 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: the house to help. You want to alleviate the stress, 512 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: not add to it. Now, your mom, I will say, 513 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 1: when she comes here to visit, it's great. Nanna jumps in, 514 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: she gets in, where she fits in. She's just like, 515 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 1: where does where is the help needed in that moment. 516 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do that. I have no problems and 517 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,159 Speaker 1: just one thing she's always said. She's like, I'm not 518 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: going to impose myself, but if you ask and I 519 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 1: can do it, I'm going to do it. So that's 520 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: that's the kind of relationship we have. I'm like, yo, Mom, listen, 521 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: everybody's coming. I know y'all got everybody coming to town. 522 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 1: Do you mind running to the supermarkets? Here's the list. 523 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,879 Speaker 1: And she'd be like, no problems, she was on and 524 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 1: she goes. So I let that be a message or 525 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,959 Speaker 1: something to think about. Gentlemen, you're looking to bring one 526 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: of the moms and to help your wife because she 527 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 1: needs some reprieve. You want to get your wife back, 528 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 1: the kids need someone there. Think about which mom you're 529 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 1: gonna bring in, because if you bring your mom in 530 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: and she come in with that this is my son's 531 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: house attitude, And I'm gonna run this the way I 532 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: ran my house. Your wife ain't going like that. Who 533 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: was it in your family that you said? Was it 534 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: your grandmother that used to move your mom's furniture around 535 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,359 Speaker 1: or something? Yes? So so my So there's another thing 536 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: I learned. My mom learned not to be an overbearing 537 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,440 Speaker 1: mother in law because her mother in law was overbearing. 538 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 1: My nanna, my beautiful nanna, who watched this every every 539 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,919 Speaker 1: summer for about fifteen years, used to come to our 540 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: house for Christmas, right and when they stayed with my parents. 541 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,440 Speaker 1: My parents would be at work, Me and Brian would 542 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: be home first, of course, because we got home first. 543 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,719 Speaker 1: My grandparents would come by like two or three o'clock, 544 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 1: so we let them in the house by the time 545 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: my mom got home. My grandmother then moved all the 546 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: furniture in the living room. She didn't move all the pots, 547 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: she moved all the seasoning and everything that my mom 548 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,440 Speaker 1: had did. I don't know mine money would put this hand? 549 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: Why would sit here when you can sit there here 550 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: this tree over here, why don't you? Why would you 551 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: do the head come help me. So now me and 552 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,920 Speaker 1: my brother moving all of the stuff. While you're moving 553 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: it where you're worried like, oh, Mommy's gonna be pissed. 554 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: Me and my brother knew, like we just knew, like 555 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: you're as soon as mommy come home, she's gonna come 556 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 1: in and take a deep breath and go well, seeing 557 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:23,120 Speaker 1: we had a moving company here. So and my mom 558 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: is the sweetest person. Never made a big stink because 559 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: my mother just like, she only gonna be here for 560 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 1: two weeks. After the two weeks she come over, you 561 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 1: and your brother put all this back. It was like 562 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,920 Speaker 1: a thing. It was like a thing, and she knew 563 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 1: that she didn't want to be that for you, so 564 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: she said, I appreciate that, and I'll wait until I'm 565 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: asked for the assistance. And in the minute you asked 566 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 1: you exactly. So that came with a little bit of 567 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 1: contention in the beginning because we're just we're like, well, 568 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: why is she still happening? Why she still asking? But 569 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: now that we know, we're able to ask, and that 570 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: goes back to just communicating, which is something that we 571 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: have to do in this household as well too, because 572 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: with my mom and dad here like my mom. One 573 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: thing that I I found myself doing or was just 574 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: was afraid of doing, was being too lax in my 575 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: parenting because my mom is here to help. Because she 576 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: is so helpful. Sometimes it's like the kids will just 577 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 1: run to meet me for something, to run to Papa 578 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,920 Speaker 1: for something, where I want to make sure that I'm 579 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: on my p's and q's as a parent as well too, 580 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: because it's different when the children are parented and disciplined 581 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: in this house with you and I and then go 582 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 1: to Mimi and Papa's house or go to Nana and 583 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: Papa Scoop's house, and they can do all the spoiling 584 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,719 Speaker 1: they want there and all that, but we know that's 585 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 1: going to be at Nana and Papa's house or at 586 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: Mimi and Papa's house and they're coming back home. It's 587 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: a little more difficult, which we've learned recently, when we're 588 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: trying to discipline in a certain way, or we just 589 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: have the children doing certain routines and things, and then 590 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 1: it's not being upheld by my parents my kids, which 591 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: I know my mom tries to do, but sometimes Dad's 592 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,200 Speaker 1: the one that's the dad push over when he's ready 593 00:29:55,240 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 1: to our kids. They know if to me, and they'd 594 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: be like, daddy can have an icy, No, you already 595 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: had icy today. Let me find mimia proper. They already know. 596 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: And then they know not like I'll see them watching me, 597 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: and they'll be watching me. And in the minute I 598 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: leave the room, I hear the refrigerator opened and it's 599 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: kaz Or, it's Cairo, and they're smart. They don't even ask. 600 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: They go open a freezer, get the icy and just 601 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: take it your parents. And then that person just cut it. 602 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: And then they they and I'm like, did not tell you? Know? 603 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: Then I just see their eyes open up and then 604 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: they're going. That is one of the things that you 605 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,560 Speaker 1: and I have learned when your your in laws live 606 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 1: with you. Different grandparents don't want to be disciplinarians and 607 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: they shouldn't have to be. But Kadeem made a very 608 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: important observation. She said, Mom, if you're gonna live here 609 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: with us, right, you can't take on the role as 610 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: the spoiler because you don't ever leave. You're the spoiler 611 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: that lives here. So every day you're teaching bad habits. 612 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 1: And maybe she was like, well, I'm me. I just 613 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 1: want to be me me, And this is where we 614 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: were like, well, if you're gonna be mee me, we're 615 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: gonna have to discuss this arrangement because if you're gonna 616 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 1: be here full time, you're gonna have to be a disciplinarian. 617 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,719 Speaker 1: Your pops love him to death. He ain't never been 618 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: a disciplinarian. He ain't disciplinarian. I don't expect him to 619 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: be a disciplinarian with the little ones. So it's just 620 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: going behind and if he loves us, he loves them 621 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 1: kids and ensure that the things that we want to 622 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: instill in our children are pressed through the grandparents, you know, 623 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: and making sure that they're constantly going behind and reiterating 624 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 1: what we're trying to teach them. No, for sure, Ayeah. 625 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,840 Speaker 1: Those are things that we just check ourselves constantly as 626 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 1: parents to say, Okay, where is this child going awry? 627 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: Or you know, is this one getting away with too 628 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: much or this one testing the waters a little bit 629 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: too much, because we definitely don't want to have that 630 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: confusion when it comes to the kids learning how to 631 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 1: deal with us in this space. Um. But people always 632 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: like when it comes to living with your in laws, 633 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 1: people always think about the worst, And I really can't 634 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: think about how like the worst, because there's so many 635 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: positives to having someone here with them, Like there's so 636 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 1: many last minute things that somebody needs to get picked up, 637 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: and your pops will be like, I'll go get them. 638 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 1: I don't have to think about that, like I can. 639 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: I can focus my mind on things that's going to 640 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: help create more content to bring in more revenue. Um. 641 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: I can't say enough how much having them here has 642 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 1: helped our relationship because it's it's funny, but it's almost 643 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: like it becomes a war of attrition, right, and it's 644 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 1: like this is my teammate, so it will be us 645 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: against the kids, and then it will be us against 646 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,320 Speaker 1: your parents. But it's like we have this teammate thing 647 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,240 Speaker 1: here where sometimes when it's just YouTube and there's no 648 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 1: one you know, it's it's always like it was me 649 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 1: versus her. Yeah, if there's no one to to, it's 650 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 1: like yeah, and I'm and you miss your spouse sometimes 651 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 1: because you get caught up in life and when you 652 00:32:55,480 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 1: have four kids, somebody has a practice or rehearsal or 653 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: coding class or open school, like someone always has that, 654 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: and it seems like one of us is always out 655 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 1: running there, but when you have someone there, or even 656 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: if we're out running, then we come home and it's like, 657 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: oh my god, what's for dinner? And then I look 658 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,360 Speaker 1: over my dad made a pot of soup or pillow, 659 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: as we all know, he might have made pillow for 660 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: the Actually, I think he's got the memo because we 661 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: haven't had pillow in a minute. Um, he's gonna sup 662 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 1: us to death. But at least it's something hot and 663 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 1: home cooked that's here. And I just feel like my 664 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 1: parents are comfortable here. I've always wanted to create a 665 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: lifestyle where my parents could be comfortable, because that's your 666 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,360 Speaker 1: dream as a kid. I know you dream and for 667 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: the moment that you can be able to reciprocate the 668 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: sacrifice and reciprocate the gifts that your parents have given you, 669 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: um growing up. So I feel great that we're in 670 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: a position now where we can do that, where our 671 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: parents are comfortable. You know, your parents are still working 672 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 1: and then they're the workforce and they're you know, content 673 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: doing that until they don't have to anymore. But we 674 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: do have a plan. But there's a plan. This is 675 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 1: not a permanent situation. Yes, this situation was to help 676 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: us with you wanted to we have another child. So 677 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 1: now we have an uh infant living with us. But 678 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,359 Speaker 1: our plan, ultimately and your God blessed us with an 679 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:09,879 Speaker 1: abundance and the things we can do, but to buy 680 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 1: our parents at home near us so that they can 681 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,439 Speaker 1: be the spoiled grandparents over there, over there, over there 682 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 1: to your grandparents, or Mommy and Daddy have to run out. 683 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: We're gonna drop you by Grandma Grandma and we'll pick 684 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: you up on our way. Grandma Grandma can pick you up, 685 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 1: drop you home, stay for a little bit, and then 686 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:34,880 Speaker 1: go at night, so that way Daddy can't get his niceness. 687 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 1: You see how I did that? Quench this yats. I 688 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: don't want to see no doc, but you want to 689 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:53,839 Speaker 1: see Dick. I need to send my nurse around. All right, y'all, 690 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and then we are going 691 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 1: to come back with listener letters. Because did that looky 692 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:03,759 Speaker 1: that's become his every portion. He likes style stories, he does. 693 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,719 Speaker 1: All right, we're back. I'm gonna jump right in. I 694 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,320 Speaker 1: just want to start off by saying how much of 695 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 1: an inspiration you all have been to me. I'm twenty 696 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 1: three and I just recently moved to Colorado to be 697 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend and I've been in a long distan 698 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,360 Speaker 1: relationship from for seven years. Wow. So you've been with 699 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: sixteen Wow. Yeah, that's a long time. Everything has been 700 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 1: going amazing, from the relationship to my personal and work life. 701 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:38,799 Speaker 1: The issue that I'm having now is that my mother, 702 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,719 Speaker 1: who happens to be white. I hope you don't mind 703 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: if this is a novel like Devil says, because I 704 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: want to give context. So it's been over a year 705 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 1: of this so called beef this woman has with me. 706 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 1: Before I moved to Colorado. There were they were they 707 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,800 Speaker 1: were staying in a hotel, and still is with her husband, 708 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,320 Speaker 1: kids and dogs. I'm not here to bad, sure, but 709 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 1: she is constantly disrespecting our relationship by completely ignoring the 710 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 1: fact that we live together. She talks about me to him. Recently, 711 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,800 Speaker 1: she decided to post a personal sin uh whoa she 712 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 1: ties a post and personally send my boyfriend pictures of 713 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 1: him and his ex because it was a memory on 714 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 1: Facebook and she wanted him to see the beautiful smiles 715 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 1: and happiness even though they aren't together. What mind you? 716 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:27,680 Speaker 1: When they were together, she called her the devil and 717 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: their breakup was pretty nasty, so we both were confused 718 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,319 Speaker 1: on what she was trying to accomplish. As bad as 719 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: I wanted to pull up on her, I know I 720 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: could possibly lose everything I'm building with my boyfriend. It's 721 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: so this is his mom, Okay. It's taking a lot 722 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 1: out of me mentally to not beat her as because 723 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 1: I'm twenty three, because I'm trying to learn how to 724 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 1: give people grace for myself, I cannot continue in a 725 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: relationship with her. But it still bothers me because at 726 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,319 Speaker 1: the end of the day, she is still his mother, 727 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,719 Speaker 1: and even though they may fight, they forgive and move 728 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,040 Speaker 1: on and she continues the cycle at this point and 729 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,320 Speaker 1: he is numb to her bs. But I feel like 730 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,600 Speaker 1: I'm just getting started. Man. He says to me all 731 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: the time that I am his family now and he'll 732 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 1: do anything to make sure I'm happy. I just want 733 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: I just don't know how to move forward. So if 734 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,439 Speaker 1: you can give me some advice, that would be something 735 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 1: I can hold onto for the rest of my life. Wow, 736 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 1: we just talked about meddling. Mother in law's right. The 737 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: first thing is she's young. They've been together since it 738 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: was seven, His mom probably doesn't respect I was about 739 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:35,719 Speaker 1: to say, because your mom too. I mean not that 740 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 1: she didn't ever disrespect to me, but at eighteen when 741 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: we both were met, but we both met and we're 742 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: hot and heavy in this relationship even into our twenties, 743 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,800 Speaker 1: she was like, why don't you slow down? Like be 744 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 1: an individual, be independent? And those are all things that 745 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,760 Speaker 1: we said, and we've agreed that now they were completely 746 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: right about. So she may not, even, like you said, 747 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: acknowledge the fact that she's really a girlfriend, especially with 748 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 1: a long since relationship for seven years. She's probably just 749 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 1: like whatever, let's see. I too don't know what she 750 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: was trying to accomplish by posting that last girlfriend accomplished. 751 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: You don't want them together, She don't like them together. 752 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: You don't like like this. This is the truth, yo. 753 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 1: Mom's always feel like whoever the girl is is not 754 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,920 Speaker 1: good enough for their son, the same way your mom 755 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: felt like I wasn't good enough for you. She said, 756 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,880 Speaker 1: you could have walked in the house with Jesus himself 757 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: holding the cross and it wouldn't have been good enough 758 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 1: for my daughter. So I get it when you're a parent, 759 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 1: unless that person has proven to you or your child 760 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,200 Speaker 1: has proven to you the capacity to pick the right person. 761 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,759 Speaker 1: They always feel like that person is not good enough. 762 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 1: So that's really what she was doing. Like she's just 763 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,879 Speaker 1: a meddling mom. She can be immature in her own way. 764 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:47,839 Speaker 1: I wonder if he's an only child too, because sometimes 765 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 1: too if he's an owner boy. She said that she 766 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 1: lives in a hotel with her boyfriend. Oh yes, with 767 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,880 Speaker 1: her husband kids, and so she has some issues she 768 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,920 Speaker 1: needs to work out with herself. And her son is 769 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 1: her oldest son, maybe her you know, the apple of 770 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,359 Speaker 1: her eye. You know, she didn't say with her fault 771 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,279 Speaker 1: with with his father, her husband, which means this is 772 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 1: someone else and it could be his kids, Like you said, 773 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,560 Speaker 1: this could be her only child. So I think it's 774 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: the thing where separation. You see that your son is 775 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,400 Speaker 1: getting closer to someone, and let me see if I 776 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 1: could throw a little wrench here, because she may be 777 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 1: a little ratchet. His mom may be a little ratchet. 778 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,520 Speaker 1: So you know, if you love him, continue to happen 779 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 1: happen with his mother, who happens to be white. I 780 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,920 Speaker 1: don't know what that she's white, yeah, so I mean, 781 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:36,439 Speaker 1: you know she she could be white. And right, yeah, 782 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:43,800 Speaker 1: you know, but yeah, So my thing is, if you 783 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship with the person, you 784 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,520 Speaker 1: can't avoid their mom. There's a lot of conversations need 785 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 1: to be had. A lot of people like I don't 786 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,319 Speaker 1: want to talk. I don't have the conversations. You want 787 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,480 Speaker 1: to be in a relationship. Conversations need to be had. 788 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 1: Communication needs to happen. She may not like what you say, 789 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 1: you may not like what she says, but at least 790 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 1: if you guys have the conversation and there's an understanding, 791 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 1: there's no I don't know because right now, which is 792 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, you do know what 793 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 1: to do? Or I don't know why not like me? Right? 794 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 1: And then yeah, you never know something. There may be 795 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: something about you that's not Rubert ho the right way, 796 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,080 Speaker 1: and you won't know that until you investigate it. So 797 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: good luck to you on that, all right, Next one, 798 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: what up? How do you guys deal with people not 799 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 1: respecting your relationship boundaries? My boyfriend of three years has 800 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,640 Speaker 1: started a personal trainer business, and going into this, I 801 00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 1: knew women would flock and whatnot. I mentally prepared myself 802 00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,400 Speaker 1: for this because my father also had the same businesses. 803 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,520 Speaker 1: He has one one particular client that I can't seem 804 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,759 Speaker 1: to keep her flirting to herself and keep saying inappropriate 805 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: things to him. To him, it's harmless, mainly because he 806 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,480 Speaker 1: doesn't pay attention to the other women flirting, which flirting 807 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,000 Speaker 1: with him, which I love. I don't mind people flirting me. 808 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:56,799 Speaker 1: Sagittarius and him Gemini both are very protective of each other. 809 00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,120 Speaker 1: Although I know he's happy here, insecurities are eating me alive. 810 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 1: Help me before I start snatching wigs. This I understand 811 00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 1: we did from Dena. You know, it is not his 812 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,640 Speaker 1: job to make you feel secure. You have to figure 813 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 1: that out on your own. And I'm interesting to know, 814 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,799 Speaker 1: interested to know if her issues with this comes from 815 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,839 Speaker 1: what she saw her father do or how her father 816 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:31,879 Speaker 1: dealt with these women. If her pops handled these women accordingly, 817 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:37,680 Speaker 1: she probably wouldn't be insecure. But if he didn't handle 818 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,840 Speaker 1: them properly, then it's like, yeah, I see what my 819 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,800 Speaker 1: pops did this thinking might do the same thing to 820 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:44,839 Speaker 1: right right right there, so she might have a little 821 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,400 Speaker 1: bit that she's taken from that previous relationship with her 822 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 1: father and his businessess over here also too, he's a 823 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 1: personal trainer, so I would assume that he's probably fit, 824 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,879 Speaker 1: in shape, good looking. Maybe you know the women are 825 00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,359 Speaker 1: coming at him. However, do you trust absolutely? Get who? 826 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,279 Speaker 1: Look at who I am married to personal training? Now 827 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,520 Speaker 1: you're an actor, sex symbol, all that your star is 828 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,840 Speaker 1: only right, I think it's safe to say, especially I 829 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: think the nail in the coffin for that was the 830 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 1: the special shout out to the team and Dakota, who 831 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: is the product of our own in home Blue Life special. However, 832 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,719 Speaker 1: but I'm you know, I know who I'm married, so 833 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,000 Speaker 1: I know that women are going to try. I know 834 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,120 Speaker 1: that women are going to flirt. I also know that 835 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: I married someone who flirts. And it boils down to 836 00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,799 Speaker 1: do I trust you? Do you trust your man? Sis? 837 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 1: Because before you start snatching wigs and start being that girlfriend, 838 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 1: I think there's more power in being the woman that 839 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,800 Speaker 1: just sits back and trusts her man and says, you 840 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,839 Speaker 1: know what, I don't have to necessarily snatch a wig 841 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 1: because he knows what he got at home. He ain't 842 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,880 Speaker 1: concerned about you and you're flirting. But don't beat yourself 843 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,319 Speaker 1: up and give yourself grief grace. Please give yourself if 844 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: you feel as if that might have bothered me because 845 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,840 Speaker 1: Conans dealt with Yes, absolutely, I've had had moments that 846 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,359 Speaker 1: bothered me. And sometimes the stuff that Devou has done 847 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,080 Speaker 1: or is something that actually, like another woman has done 848 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,920 Speaker 1: over the course of the years, and we talked about it. 849 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,439 Speaker 1: We talked about it. We have open comments. When something 850 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: bothers her, she brings it right to me, and we 851 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,359 Speaker 1: have debates about if it even is valid. But that's 852 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 1: not the point. The point is if it bothered you, 853 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 1: we have to talk about it. So now I will 854 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,200 Speaker 1: say I don't necessarily always bring it to him the 855 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,360 Speaker 1: right way, you know what I mean. I will say that, 856 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,319 Speaker 1: you know, over the course of our relationship for twenty years, 857 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 1: I've had my moments where I probably could have dealt 858 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,279 Speaker 1: with things better. And I try to admit that, and 859 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,960 Speaker 1: I try to see the fall in my actions and 860 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:41,760 Speaker 1: just say, you know what, I might have been flying 861 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: off the handle in that moment, you know, But um, 862 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: we're gonna have the conversation regardless, and at least you 863 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,720 Speaker 1: do engage me in those and you don't just completely 864 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 1: make me feel like I'm crazy. But because it's not 865 00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,800 Speaker 1: my job to make you feel secure, I want to 866 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,560 Speaker 1: assure you that I'm not going to disrespect our union 867 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,480 Speaker 1: and disrespect you. You know what I'm saying. So I'm 868 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,080 Speaker 1: not trying to do it to make you feel secure, 869 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,239 Speaker 1: but I want you to know like we're on the 870 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,279 Speaker 1: same page chair of what you want and what I want, 871 00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 1: and that's what's important. So I think she should do 872 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:12,160 Speaker 1: the same thing with her boyfriend. Like if this bothers you, 873 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,920 Speaker 1: say something, but don't expect to hear something from him 874 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,200 Speaker 1: that's gonna make you feel better, because until you make 875 00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,640 Speaker 1: yourself feel better, you're still gonna feel the same way. 876 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,040 Speaker 1: That's a fact. All right, y'all. If you want to 877 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 1: be featured as a listener letter, be sure to email 878 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 1: us at dead Ask Advice at gmail dot com. That's 879 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 1: D E A D A S S A D V 880 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:35,400 Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, now, 881 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,000 Speaker 1: moment of truth time. It's very simple for me. The 882 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,800 Speaker 1: moment of truth is this, do what you need to 883 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,840 Speaker 1: create peace in your home. If that means moving in 884 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,840 Speaker 1: your in laws to help with certain things, do that. 885 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,839 Speaker 1: You know, it's been great for us. Um. Of course, 886 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: there's some bumps in the road. People might wear your slippers. Um, 887 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,120 Speaker 1: you can't have the same loud, wild sex that you 888 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:56,960 Speaker 1: want to have. You can't walk around naked in the 889 00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,400 Speaker 1: middle of the night when you want to go to 890 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,759 Speaker 1: the fridge. You know, you how to put clothes on. 891 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,800 Speaker 1: Somebody might be out there in your slippers, you know, 892 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:10,600 Speaker 1: or your your Nike uh slides. But that's part for 893 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,640 Speaker 1: the course, because I also have opportunities to go travel 894 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,280 Speaker 1: and do things with my beautiful partner in crime because 895 00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,759 Speaker 1: her parents are here to help hold down the fort. 896 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: So do what you can to create peace in your home. 897 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,719 Speaker 1: Understand that help is needed and everything that you hear 898 00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,480 Speaker 1: about in laws is not always true. I love my 899 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:30,399 Speaker 1: in laws, you know, even though they wear my ship. 900 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,680 Speaker 1: We love them. We love him, and my parents love 901 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:35,400 Speaker 1: them just the same. I guess the moment of truth 902 00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:39,040 Speaker 1: is um to aim to find a way to give 903 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,920 Speaker 1: grace to all the adults living in the house, because 904 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,799 Speaker 1: ultimately we're all adults. Yes, um, But I think once 905 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,080 Speaker 1: the level of respects stays there, you can still have 906 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,239 Speaker 1: the conversations with your parents, um with your spouse to 907 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,759 Speaker 1: say hey, I didn't like when you did this, or 908 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,239 Speaker 1: this is how we're going to be doing it in 909 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,759 Speaker 1: our host household with our children. So please respect that 910 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 1: if you're going to be here like those are the 911 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,880 Speaker 1: kind of conversations that we needed to have, and I 912 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:04,759 Speaker 1: think they should be had, especially if someone's going to 913 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,400 Speaker 1: be full time in your house with you and your 914 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: children until you know the other opportunity presents itself for 915 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,719 Speaker 1: them to have Mimi and Papa's house. And and just 916 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: to add here, I find honor and pleasure in knowing 917 00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:25,000 Speaker 1: that we were being We were able to create a lifestyle, 918 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: to have a house big enough to house all of 919 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,440 Speaker 1: our kids and help that there's travel and that our 920 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,719 Speaker 1: kids can have a sense of normalcy, knowing that I 921 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 1: always go home and I know where home is, and 922 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,759 Speaker 1: it's going to be people there to receive me when 923 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,719 Speaker 1: I get there and love me and love on me 924 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:46,640 Speaker 1: and spoil me. Alright, y'all, be sure to follow us 925 00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,719 Speaker 1: on social media. Dead Ask the podcast and you can 926 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,160 Speaker 1: find me. I am and you know where to find me. 927 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,680 Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, 928 00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:59,880 Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe Dead Ask Spolkes You. 929 00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,400 Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast 930 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,080 Speaker 1: network and is produced by Dinorapinia and triple follow the 931 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,880 Speaker 1: podcast on social media at dead as the Podcasts, and 932 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 1: never miss a thing