Speaker 1: So look at this as I had a great relationship.
Speaker 1: I had some great times with her. We're now going
Speaker 1: to go and go our separate ways, and it's gonna
Speaker 1: be hard. It's gonna be hard to you. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be hard for her too, but you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to let her go. What's up, everybody, Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thanks for watching and listening. Wherever you're coming from, I
Speaker 1: appreciate you. I love this podcast. I love answering your questions,
Speaker 1: walking through them like we're sitting around a campfire. If
Speaker 1: you have a question for me, email Granger Smith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We'll put it in the queue.
Speaker 1: I have no notes. I only have my phone where
Speaker 1: I am reading your emails. That's all I'm doing. So
Speaker 1: you could take this with a grain of salt. I'm
Speaker 1: not always right on these and they're about all different subjects,
Speaker 1: but you could take it as if you're sitting around
Speaker 1: with a friend and I'm just telling you, at first
Speaker 1: glance of your question, how I would walk through it
Speaker 1: with you like we're friends. And I feel like we are.
Speaker 1: So let's jump into this. I'm just gonna randomly hit
Speaker 1: some of these emails this one says subject line overthinking.
Speaker 1: Hey Gringer, my name is Ashton. I'm fifteen years old.
Speaker 1: I live in Massachusetts. Lately, I've been overthinking a lot
Speaker 1: of things that seem relatively easy for other people. I've
Speaker 1: also been constantly thinking about the future more than I
Speaker 1: have been living my own life in the current moment.
Speaker 1: So here's my question. Do you have any advice on
Speaker 1: how to help with this process and how to make
Speaker 1: me better? Thanks? I love your music. It comes from Ashton, Massachusetts,
Speaker 1: fifteen years old. Great question, man, You are worrying about
Speaker 1: the future. First of all, don't You're fifteen. But you're
Speaker 1: not going to take my advice because that's impossible. But
Speaker 1: I'm telling you from my chair looking at you and
Speaker 1: having been a fifteen year old, you have nothing to
Speaker 1: worry about. You have only your life ahead of you, brother,
Speaker 1: So try to live life in the presence. So then
Speaker 1: you think, well, how do I do that? Because I've
Speaker 1: got all this stuff I'm worried about, I'm constantly thinking
Speaker 1: and I'm overthinking. How do I how do I be present? Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, be careful that device, that screen that
Speaker 1: you're on, because that constantly makes you unconscious. The more
Speaker 1: you're flipping through a screen, the more unconscious you are
Speaker 1: to the present moment, because that's putting you in a
Speaker 1: place where you're looking at other things, you're looking at
Speaker 1: other people, and then you're comparing yourself to those other people.
Speaker 1: That's what social media does. So avoid that when you can.
Speaker 1: It's impossible to completely avoid it. I understand that's part
Speaker 1: of our it's integrated into our lives right now. But
Speaker 1: realize that when you go on there, you need to
Speaker 1: have a purpose. You're going on social media for a
Speaker 1: certain reason. You're going on there to look at something,
Speaker 1: or to post something, or to check something out. But
Speaker 1: then be aware that you're gonna fall unconscious to it,
Speaker 1: and ten minutes could go by quickly and then you go,
Speaker 1: where did those ten minutes go? That's because I was
Speaker 1: scrolling through other stuff, right, So be careful of that.
Speaker 1: The other thing is to concentrate on the present. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to do things to make you feel present.
Speaker 1: What are those things, Well, I'll tell you what. A
Speaker 1: cold shower is something anything that gives your body out
Speaker 1: of the sense of its normal environment. So a cold
Speaker 1: shower will shock your body into a fight or flight,
Speaker 1: getting into an ice bath is the ultimate way. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you right now. It's the quickest, most efficient, cheapest
Speaker 1: way right now for you to be present with yourself
Speaker 1: and to practice being in the present moment. That's taking
Speaker 1: an ice bath. I'm talking. Go to the gas station
Speaker 1: and get you three bags of ice. Dump it into
Speaker 1: your bathtub and fill the bathtub up. Get ready for
Speaker 1: a shock to your whole system. And if you want
Speaker 1: to get fun with it, you could do this. If
Speaker 1: you want to get fun with it, get a timer.
Speaker 1: You should do this anyway. Get a timer and make
Speaker 1: sure you go thirty seconds at least in this ice
Speaker 1: right you're thinking I'm crazy. Right now, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: answer your question in a unique way, and I've done
Speaker 1: this many times time yourself. Thirty seconds. Get in the ice,
Speaker 1: and at first you just feel this complete shock. It
Speaker 1: feels terrible, It feels like needles are all over and
Speaker 1: you feel in pain. But when you wait thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: that's about the number that I've calculated with my personal experience.
Speaker 1: After thirty seconds, you start going numb and all the
Speaker 1: blood in your extremities rushes to your core because it
Speaker 1: thinks we're dying right now, we're dying and we need
Speaker 1: blood to keep us warmth. So all the blood rushes
Speaker 1: from your extremities to your core. And when it hits
Speaker 1: your core and all the blood goes into the center
Speaker 1: of your body, you feel a calmness, a piece a euphoria.
Speaker 1: You could relax at that point. Now, don't go more
Speaker 1: than three minutes at the beginning. The first time you
Speaker 1: ever do it, I wouldn't go over three minutes, and
Speaker 1: I could tell you why on a different story. I've
Speaker 1: tried this many times. But after three minutes, get out,
Speaker 1: dry off, and you're gonna notice. Then start your timer again. Okay,
Speaker 1: so watch the timer again, and about three it takes
Speaker 1: about the equal time that you were in the ice,
Speaker 1: which is if you're doing it for three minutes, about
Speaker 1: three minutes later, the blood your body goes Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna die. I thought it was gonna die. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna die. So it's time to circulate the blood again.
Speaker 1: So the blood goes then from your core back out
Speaker 1: to your extremities, and when it goes back out, it's
Speaker 1: cold blood, and you could feel it in your fingertips
Speaker 1: and your feet and your legs and your elbows. You
Speaker 1: could feel this cold flush go through you and it's
Speaker 1: all fresh, so your blood has recirculated your entire system
Speaker 1: and it's really good for you. It's good to do this,
Speaker 1: and one of the benefits, one of the many benefits
Speaker 1: from this is you are present. I promise you, Ashton,
Speaker 1: if you try this, when you're in that water for
Speaker 1: those three minutes, when you're watching your time or you're
Speaker 1: literally watching seconds go by your life, precious seconds that
Speaker 1: you can't get back, that's a good thing. And as
Speaker 1: you feel that and you're in that ice, you're not
Speaker 1: thinking about the future or things that you did in
Speaker 1: the past, or what you're gonna do tomorrow at school.
Speaker 1: You're only focused on those seconds as they tick by slowly.
Speaker 1: This is one of the many things you could do
Speaker 1: to practice being present in the moment, seiling yourself in
Speaker 1: that moment. Try this, Okay, get back to me, let
Speaker 1: me know what happens. Next question, says subject line a
Speaker 1: struggling mom. Hey, Granger, I have a seventeen year old
Speaker 1: son who in the last year and a half has
Speaker 1: changed completely. He and I have always been close, but
Speaker 1: now he wants it's nothing to do with me. He says,
Speaker 1: he hates me. I'm not a mother to him, and
Speaker 1: he even left home for nine days. I caught him
Speaker 1: vaping and he thinks there's nothing wrong with it. I've
Speaker 1: tried to talk to him about it, but all I
Speaker 1: get is leave me alone. He was raised in church,
Speaker 1: but he's fallen away and does not want any part
Speaker 1: of it. He has a girlfriend who's very verbally and
Speaker 1: physically abusive to him. She's even touched him in the face,
Speaker 1: but he keeps going back. Please help a desperate mother
Speaker 1: who's in need of advice, She says parentheses. I do
Speaker 1: have him in counseling. Thank you, Donna from Missouri. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Missouri Donna, thank you for emailing. That's a
Speaker 1: great question, and I'm sorry for the struggle that you're
Speaker 1: in right now. I've been seventeen, We've all been seventeen.
Speaker 1: You've been seventeen. Where to go from here? Okay, you're right.
Speaker 1: I want to validate your feelings that you're worried. You
Speaker 1: love him, you're worried about him. You care about his
Speaker 1: well being, you care about a girlfriend that is physically
Speaker 1: and verbally abusing him, You care about his health because
Speaker 1: he's vaping, and you just want your son back, right,
Speaker 1: And we're gonna go through this with our kids one day.
Speaker 1: Everyone that has teenagers eventually goes through this where you
Speaker 1: feel like you've lost the little boy that you once had,
Speaker 1: the little boy that you cuddled with and read storybooks too,
Speaker 1: and he asked you for advice, and he listened to you,
Speaker 1: and he called mommy, and you made him snacks. You
Speaker 1: miss that little boy. But as you know, Donna, he's
Speaker 1: gone and he's becoming a man. This is his transition
Speaker 1: into becoming a man, and he is experimenting with a
Speaker 1: lot of things that you don't agree with. While you're
Speaker 1: encouraging him to stop these things that you don't agree with,
Speaker 1: be careful in this encouragement that you are also praising
Speaker 1: him for what he's doing. Right. He needs that. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, let's say he gets up and he makes
Speaker 1: his bed one day. Maybe maybe he does it. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's pushing it. Say he makes his bed one day,
Speaker 1: you gotta come in and you gotta go. I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of the man that you're becoming and
Speaker 1: the responsibility that you're taking. I'm so proud at the
Speaker 1: boy that I've raised, it's now becoming a man. Make
Speaker 1: sure that you get to say those words to him.
Speaker 1: Find times during the day, watch him, study him. Find
Speaker 1: times during the day when you could you could pour
Speaker 1: that into him so that he's not only hearing the
Speaker 1: things that he does wrong. It's pushing him away. He's
Speaker 1: hearing nagging. He's hearing things he's doing wrong. He's hearing
Speaker 1: corrections constantly, and inside he's thinking, I guess I don't
Speaker 1: do anything right, so I'll just keep doing the wrong stuff.
Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. I just wash it
Speaker 1: off my back. All I hear is negative from mom.
Speaker 1: In fact, I don't even want to I want to
Speaker 1: leave the home right. I want to be gone for
Speaker 1: nine days because at least I'm not getting nagged. Donna.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're a nagging mother, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying I'm trying to give you suggestions of ways to
Speaker 1: poor love into him, give him positivity. Don't just tell
Speaker 1: him the things he's doing wrong, but tell him the
Speaker 1: things he's doing right. And if I were you, I
Speaker 1: would tell him equally or more times that he's doing
Speaker 1: right than the times you tell me he's doing wrong.
Speaker 1: Instead of correcting him all the time. Say you're talking
Speaker 1: about vaping, instead of saying that stuff's gonna kill you.
Speaker 1: Stop doing the vaping. I don't know why you do this.
Speaker 1: I raised you better than this. Instead of that, say
Speaker 1: I see you're vaping a lot. Yeah, what's it to you? Mom? Hum,
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about vaping. Can you tell
Speaker 1: me more about about what it is and why you
Speaker 1: like it so much? Can you tell me more about it?
Speaker 1: Open up a conversation so that he knows he has
Speaker 1: to explain it to you. Well, I don't know it.
Speaker 1: Relaxes me. I do it with my friends. Let him
Speaker 1: explain it to you. He knows you don't have to
Speaker 1: tell him. But open up the conversation so at least
Speaker 1: you're talking about it. Talk to him about his girlfriend
Speaker 1: in the same way. Say do you love her? Do
Speaker 1: you treat her well? Start with that. Do you treat
Speaker 1: her well? Yeah? OK? Yeah, I treat her well? Good?
Speaker 1: That's how I raised you. I raised you to treat
Speaker 1: women well. You know that, right? Yes? Does she treat
Speaker 1: you well well? I mean I mean sometimes a lot
Speaker 1: of most of the time she does. Watch him start
Speaker 1: stumbling through these words, But you're having a conversation. Let
Speaker 1: him answer it for you, ask her, ask him if
Speaker 1: she's if she's the best that he could do right now,
Speaker 1: she's the best girl that for you right now. Let
Speaker 1: him answer that, Let him give you the answer, Let
Speaker 1: him walk through instead of you correcting him, and make
Speaker 1: sure you're pouring positivity. Make sure you're pouring love into him.
Speaker 1: Tell him you love him, Tell him how much you're
Speaker 1: proud of him for who he's becoming. That kind of
Speaker 1: psychology that you're going to give him is going to
Speaker 1: show him, first of all, that you love him, you're
Speaker 1: there for him, you care for him, and also that
Speaker 1: you have an expectation and that you're watching. And he's
Speaker 1: not going to want to disappoint you. He's not going
Speaker 1: to want to disappoint that version of you, the other version,
Speaker 1: the nagging version, that's no big deal to him. He's
Speaker 1: used to it. He's numb to it. Now. Okay, see
Speaker 1: what that does for you. Scrolling through the next question. Subjecline,
Speaker 1: long distance anonymous. What's up, Granger. I'm about to graduate
Speaker 1: high school. I've been I have a pretty serious girlfriend.
Speaker 1: We've been dating for three years. It's been nothing but
Speaker 1: the best time of my life. We're going to different colleges,
Speaker 1: and we have been going back and forth on doing
Speaker 1: long distance. Her family likes me as an individual, but
Speaker 1: sees the importance of growing apart, picking up first, and
Speaker 1: possibly rekindling a flame somewhere down the road. I personally
Speaker 1: do not see this working out if that's the route
Speaker 1: we need to take. But I do see her family
Speaker 1: is respecting me a little bit more if I were
Speaker 1: to be more successful, and I'm not let me know
Speaker 1: your thoughts. Thanks Anonymous. This is one of these instances
Speaker 1: that I've talked about before where you're answering your own
Speaker 1: question to me and you're telling me your words. I
Speaker 1: personally do not see this working out if this is
Speaker 1: the route we need to take, and you also know,
Speaker 1: so you know two things here. You know that this
Speaker 1: is not going to work out, and you also know
Speaker 1: that this is the route you need to take because
Speaker 1: life has come to a crossroads and you're going to
Speaker 1: different colleges. You can't change colleges for her, she can't
Speaker 1: change colleges for you. You're still in high school. And
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna deny you the idea that this is
Speaker 1: some of the best times of your life with her.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. Good think of think of
Speaker 1: the blessing you have from having a girlfriend that you
Speaker 1: you had some great times with, as opposed to the opposite.
Speaker 1: I get a lot of emails that are that are
Speaker 1: the opposite. So look at this as I had a
Speaker 1: great relationship, I had some great times with her. We're
Speaker 1: now going to go and go our separate ways, and
Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard to you, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard for her too, But you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to let her go. This is a time when
Speaker 1: everyone listening can tell you they've been there, and you
Speaker 1: have to let her go. Go to her own college.
Speaker 1: You go to yours experience life. Don't get caught up
Speaker 1: talking to her late at night, over and over getting
Speaker 1: up early for a test the next day, failing the
Speaker 1: test because you stayed up till three am talking to
Speaker 1: her and missing her. Protect your protect your heart in
Speaker 1: this open up, because that's going to close you off
Speaker 1: to making new friends. And you will make new friends.
Speaker 1: She will too, That's probably what you're afraid of. But
Speaker 1: she will, and if it's meant to be, you'll get
Speaker 1: back together. Don't plan on it. Don't force that card
Speaker 1: to pop up and you play that hand. Don't do
Speaker 1: that right, go your separate ways. We have a sovereign
Speaker 1: God that has a plan for all of us, and
Speaker 1: if this is if this is meant to be, it'll happen.
Speaker 1: But you have to go through this heartbreak, you have
Speaker 1: to go through this separation, you have to go through
Speaker 1: the long distance, and don't push it. Let her go.
Speaker 1: Speaking of next question, subject line break up, Dear granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Connor. I'm eighteen. About six months ago,
Speaker 1: I went through a heartbreak with a girl that I've
Speaker 1: been with for about two years. We shared a lot
Speaker 1: of memories and first experiences together. I'll say that a
Speaker 1: huge part of why things ended was my own mistakes,
Speaker 1: my own actions that I made. She's now moved on.
Speaker 1: We have mutual friends, and it's like everywhere I look
Speaker 1: there's a reminder of us. Things have gotten better, but
Speaker 1: I still find myself not being able to sleep some
Speaker 1: nights because I'm wondering what she's doing and what I
Speaker 1: could have done differently. You need advice you might have
Speaker 1: would mean a lot, Connor. This is what nineties country
Speaker 1: music is all about. Brother. There have been so many
Speaker 1: songs written about your situation. You know what, that also
Speaker 1: proves that you're not the first, you're not the last,
Speaker 1: and you're not alone. Heartbreak, ma'n heartbreak. Things that you
Speaker 1: could have done differently, mistakes that you might have made
Speaker 1: that drove her away. Now you find yourself not being
Speaker 1: able to sleep some nights, wondering what she's doing. There's
Speaker 1: a Garth Brooks on called what She's doing Now. There's
Speaker 1: literally a song called what She's doing now? Because what
Speaker 1: she's doing now is tearing me apart, filling up my
Speaker 1: mind and empty in my heart. I can hear her
Speaker 1: call each night the cold wind blows, and I wonder
Speaker 1: if she knows what she's doing now. That's literally the
Speaker 1: heart and soul of all of nineteen nineties country music.
Speaker 1: So where do you go from here? You're eighteen, You
Speaker 1: have so much life ahead of you, and so does
Speaker 1: she understand first of all, that you're sick. You've got
Speaker 1: a heart that's broken and it's making you sick. But
Speaker 1: understanding that is a big part of your battle right now.
Speaker 1: Understanding you're not alone. Understanding this is a natural occurring
Speaker 1: event that happens to you. Heartbreak is natural, and your
Speaker 1: heartbroken because you had a good thing at one time
Speaker 1: and you feel like you messed it up. So there's
Speaker 1: good news now, you know. Now you get to to
Speaker 1: go back and think about those things. What did I do?
Speaker 1: What did I not say to her enough? What did
Speaker 1: I not do enough? What did I do too much of?
Speaker 1: How did I neglect her in what ways? And then
Speaker 1: and then think to yourself, one day, when I meet
Speaker 1: a girl, and you will meet a girl one day
Speaker 1: when I have another relationship, I'm not gonna make those
Speaker 1: same mistakes. I've learned from those mistakes now, and the
Speaker 1: next girl is gonna benefit from that, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: have a better relationship because of it. And then one day,
Speaker 1: you do this a couple of times in a row,
Speaker 1: one day you're gonna meet a girl, and that says,
Speaker 1: where did you come from? You're the best guy ever,
Speaker 1: And you're gonna think I went through Helen back, and
Speaker 1: I learned, and I stayed up late nights and I
Speaker 1: cried and I and I wondered what I could have
Speaker 1: done differently, and then I correct it several times until
Speaker 1: I met you. You're not gonna tell her this, but
Speaker 1: and then I met you, and I'm better because of
Speaker 1: the track record I had. The mistakes that I made
Speaker 1: made me better now and I'm a better man, and
Speaker 1: I'm a better boyfriend and ultimately a better husband. That's
Speaker 1: a good thing. That's a good thing. You don't have
Speaker 1: to make that mistake with your wife. Things that you
Speaker 1: didn't say or did too much of, ways that you neglected.
Speaker 1: You learn the lesson now. That doesn't make this heartbreak
Speaker 1: easier for you, but you should know that you're not alone.
Speaker 1: A lot of people feel like this, So take some time,
Speaker 1: take some time, don't jump into another relationship, don't rebound.
Speaker 1: If I were you, I would use those sleepless nights
Speaker 1: to start talking to God. Hey God, it's me Connor.
Speaker 1: I'm broken and I'm going to read something Psalm twenty three.
Speaker 1: I'm going to read it God, because this comes from
Speaker 1: your own heart. This comes from David, a man of
Speaker 1: your your own heart. I'm gonna read this. The Lord
Speaker 1: is my shepherd. I shall not want start there. There's
Speaker 1: so many songs you can get into, but start there.
Speaker 1: You're walking through the valley of the shadow of death
Speaker 1: right now, right but you're gonna fear no evil. This
Speaker 1: is something you have to repeat to your heart. You're broken,
Speaker 1: but you're gonna be better and this will pass, and
Speaker 1: every day that goes by, it's going to get better.
Speaker 1: Don't stalk her on social media. That's only gonna restart
Speaker 1: the whole process again. Thanks for emailing brother. Next question
Speaker 1: says podcast question. Hey, I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: What camera do you use in your vlog? I love
Speaker 1: all your songs, and I just love watching the Smiths
Speaker 1: and your family channel, and I love you radio. This
Speaker 1: question comes from Lindsay and she's from Delaware. Lindsay, when
Speaker 1: I'm vlogging, I use Sony camera. I use an A
Speaker 1: seven three. The A seven three is this one I'm
Speaker 1: looking at straight ahead, so excuse me. The A seven
Speaker 1: C is what I'm looking at in the A seven
Speaker 1: three is the side angle right here. Then I use
Speaker 1: these Sony cameras a lot. They're great for vlogging. I
Speaker 1: also have Sony lenses on them. Okay, here's another question,
Speaker 1: says drastically changed. Now I'm lost a granteon. My name
Speaker 1: is Andrew, I'm twenty years old. I'm a college student.
Speaker 1: I found you through TikTok at a time when I
Speaker 1: was pretty low and you were talking about being single
Speaker 1: and content, and it was something I really needed to
Speaker 1: hear at the time. Shortly after that, I found Jesus,
Speaker 1: I started reading the Bible, started taking my faith seriously.
Speaker 1: This has resulted in good changes, such as overcoming physical
Speaker 1: addictions and blocking out lustful thoughts about women, which I've
Speaker 1: been struggling with in my life. This is called rebirth,
Speaker 1: by the way. However, some of these changes I'm realizing
Speaker 1: have been I've been parading around in a persona that
Speaker 1: isn't truly me before the rebirth. I'm starting to realize
Speaker 1: that my friends aren't really friends. I'm starting to realize
Speaker 1: that things that I once thought were fun, like having
Speaker 1: a high body county partying and hyper lustful relationship culture
Speaker 1: in college, are becoming disgusting to me. I was confident
Speaker 1: in my old body, but now that I have this
Speaker 1: mindset that's been changing drastically, I feel disconnected from myself
Speaker 1: and I'm going through the motions. I feel trapped by
Speaker 1: my life that the old me has set up for me.
Speaker 1: My confidence is really low, and I'm noticing myself becoming
Speaker 1: a lot more bitter and distant from others. The only
Speaker 1: things I find joy in now is my family. I
Speaker 1: don't see that much because I'm in school and the
Speaker 1: time it's been reading my Bible. I trust this is
Speaker 1: all part of God's plan for me, but it's really
Speaker 1: discouraging to feel so angry, lost and lacking confidence. Any thoughts,
Speaker 1: Thanks Granger, Love the show, Andrew, Andrew, thanks for emailing. Brother.
Speaker 1: So what's happening to you is you were reborn, You
Speaker 1: found a new love, you found salvation in Jesus. You
Speaker 1: found out that you were now eternal minded. That you
Speaker 1: realize now that Jesus defeated your sin at the cross.
Speaker 1: A man came two thousand years ago, the son of God,
Speaker 1: and he was persecuted, and he was ridiculed, and he
Speaker 1: was killed. After living a perfect life and even performing
Speaker 1: many miracles, healing people, healing the sick, rebuking demons that
Speaker 1: were possessing people, he was ultimately killed in the worst
Speaker 1: way possible, crucifixion three days later, just as he predicted,
Speaker 1: just as he foretold, and just like so many prophets
Speaker 1: before him foretold, he was resurrected. He came back to
Speaker 1: life three days later. This happened in history with eyewitnesses,
Speaker 1: hundreds of eyewitnesses that wrote the story down that were
Speaker 1: inspired by God, that fulfilled ancient prophecy. And Jesus' message
Speaker 1: was that through dying he would defeat sin, which is
Speaker 1: the root problem within all of us. It's the problem
Speaker 1: that we all struggle with. It's the time that we
Speaker 1: all think there's something better for me, there's something wrong
Speaker 1: with me, and Jesus says, yes, it's sin, and I've
Speaker 1: defeated it for you. Believe, repent, and I'll forgive you,
Speaker 1: and with me you'll have rest and eternal life. That's
Speaker 1: the story of the Gospel. You were reborn through that story.
Speaker 1: Now what's happening to you is called sanctification. So now
Speaker 1: feeling you're feeling that the scales of your sin shedding
Speaker 1: off you. So the old life you died to yourself
Speaker 1: and now you're reborn. You have a new life, a
Speaker 1: new purpose, a new direction. But it doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: just lost the old skin. It's still on you. So
Speaker 1: that's what you're talking about, your old life that has
Speaker 1: set up right. So you're gonna it's not an instant
Speaker 1: process that doesn't just leave you don't just wake up
Speaker 1: and you have new everything. So you're slowly shedding this,
Speaker 1: these scales are falling off of you. And sometimes that
Speaker 1: process of sanctification is painful. It's painful in your case
Speaker 1: because you're losing friends, you're losing your confidence, you're losing
Speaker 1: the world that was set up around you. But it's
Speaker 1: a good thing because it's a good thing for many reasons. One,
Speaker 1: because you're saved. You're a Christian. Now you're a believer,
Speaker 1: you have a purpose. You believe in a God that
Speaker 1: has planned out your life for you, set apart good
Speaker 1: works for you before you're even born. And now you
Speaker 1: know that you're awake. Now you were asleep and now
Speaker 1: you're awake. But that process of shedding, which is a
Speaker 1: good thing, is going to lead you to new friends
Speaker 1: and new desires and new hobbies and a new purpose.
Speaker 1: And you're gonna find people around you that feel the
Speaker 1: same way and say, was it hard when you were reborn?
Speaker 1: Was it hard when you died to your old self?
Speaker 1: And you go, yes, it was. But then I met you, guys,
Speaker 1: and now you're my new friends, and we have so
Speaker 1: much in common. And you're gonna find a small group,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna find church and you're gonna go to
Speaker 1: the pastor at church. You're gonna go. My name is Connor,
Speaker 1: and I'm reborn, and I'm struggling a little bit with
Speaker 1: my confidence because I thought I was this person that
Speaker 1: was my identity. But now i have a new identity
Speaker 1: in Christ, and so I'm going this direction and it
Speaker 1: feels scary and it feels new, and the Pastor's gonna
Speaker 1: go yeah, yeah, exactly. I was there too. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the club. You have a whole life ahead of you,
Speaker 1: so this sanctification process will last your whole life in mine.
Speaker 1: But that's okay. Sometimes it's painful, but it's taking you
Speaker 1: in a great direction. I'm so happy for you. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take a break and be right back. Podcast today
Speaker 1: it's brought to you by Raycon. You know, Mother's Day's
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Speaker 1: speaking of Mother's Day, if you want to get a
Speaker 1: shout out from me personally a video message that you
Speaker 1: want to send to your mom or anyone else, Hey,
Speaker 1: go to Cameo dot com slash granger Smith you could
Speaker 1: find me there. You could also download the Cameo app.
Speaker 1: It's super easy and I'll make a personalized video message
Speaker 1: from you and I'll read it however you want me
Speaker 1: to read it, So go to cameo dot com slash
Speaker 1: Granger Smith. Okay, diving into the next question. Here it
Speaker 1: says subject line question if you could answer it in
Speaker 1: your next email. Okay, here we go. You got it, buddy,
Speaker 1: Hey Granger Money, Edwin he Ginger. My name is Edwin.
Speaker 1: I'm seventeen years old and there's a girl that I
Speaker 1: know that I want to tell her how I feel,
Speaker 1: but I'm so scared of rejection and fear that my
Speaker 1: heart will be destroyed again, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel that pain again. People that have listened to this
Speaker 1: podcast for a long time know the many directions I
Speaker 1: can go with this. Like I could tell you, Edwin,
Speaker 1: I could tell you should never live a life being
Speaker 1: scared of the pain. You should take the dance every time.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't. You shouldn't be so guarded that you're you're
Speaker 1: scared to step out and try something new, because you're
Speaker 1: gonna miss out and you're going to live a very
Speaker 1: boring life if you never do that. You've also heard
Speaker 1: me tell the stories of building up confidence and being
Speaker 1: vulnerable to the girl walking up to her and say,
Speaker 1: I got to tell you. My name is Edwin, and
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous right now, being as vulnerable as possible.
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous right now. But I just think you're
Speaker 1: I think you're really beautiful and I've wanted to tell
Speaker 1: you that. And I'm sorry if I'm stuttering, but I
Speaker 1: see you every day and you make me nervous. But
Speaker 1: I wanted you to know. Okay, I've told this story before,
Speaker 1: but Edwin, I also want to tell you a story.
Speaker 1: I want to take you in another direction because there's
Speaker 1: something underlying here that you haven't mentioned. But you're saying,
Speaker 1: I fear that my heart will be destroyed again, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel that pain again, meaning probably
Speaker 1: recently you had a heartbreak and it crushed you. And
Speaker 1: so that's why I'm going to tell you right now, Edwin,
Speaker 1: it's too soon. It's too soon. This girl that you're seeing,
Speaker 1: you're seventeen. There's going to be another one. I promise you.
Speaker 1: There's three and a half billion girls on this planet.
Speaker 1: It's not the last time you're seventeen. It's not the
Speaker 1: last time you're going to see a girl and feel
Speaker 1: really attracted to her and really want to talk to her. Okay,
Speaker 1: the breaks, you're fresh out of something, You're fresh out
Speaker 1: of some kind of pain, and now is the time
Speaker 1: to be content with who you are, edwin, to be
Speaker 1: content in your singleness. Now, to hang with your guy friends,
Speaker 1: to lean into your hobbies. Don't get into this right now,
Speaker 1: it's too soon. That's the feeling I get. If we
Speaker 1: were sitting around a campfire, I think I could pull
Speaker 1: this out of you, and I think you could tell
Speaker 1: me that. You would probably say that four months ago
Speaker 1: you got out of a relationship and she crushed you.
Speaker 1: So then I would tell you, buddy, it's not the
Speaker 1: time to get set up to be crushed again. Now
Speaker 1: it's time to pump the brakes to be single and
Speaker 1: to find contentment in that. Okay, You're not going to
Speaker 1: let a girl define you. You don't need to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship to be whole or complete. That is
Speaker 1: a Hollywood lie. You are complete already the way you are.
Speaker 1: You have a full heart and every full organ, and
Speaker 1: you have two arms and two legs. You don't need
Speaker 1: a girl to complete who you are, so don't do
Speaker 1: it right now. It's not time. This feels like a rebound.
Speaker 1: It feels like it's too soon. I'm making some assumptions here,
Speaker 1: but that's what that's what I'm getting from this email. Okay,
Speaker 1: not now, not now. I should take some pressure off
Speaker 1: of you. Go back into the hobbies that you were doing.
Speaker 1: Flipping through here, that says advice for my brother. Hey,
Speaker 1: grangear'd like to stay anonymous. My brother twenty one and
Speaker 1: his girlfriend nineteen have been dating for a little over
Speaker 1: a year now, and they've been living together for the
Speaker 1: past four months. Since they've been living together, they've been
Speaker 1: fighting a lot more lately because she doesn't know, she
Speaker 1: doesn't help pay the bills, and she doesn't cook or
Speaker 1: clean even though she's home all day and she doesn't
Speaker 1: have a job. My brother works all day at our
Speaker 1: family farm, usually from nine am to seven to ten pm,
Speaker 1: sometimes earlier and later, so when he comes home he
Speaker 1: just wants to relax, but he has to clean and
Speaker 1: make food. I was wondering if there's any advice you
Speaker 1: can give me that I could tell him in this situation.
Speaker 1: Thanks for your time, I love your podcast, Anonymous. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I could help you. Anonymous. Well, I wish, I wish
Speaker 1: I was talking to your brother. But twenty one, she's nineteen.
Speaker 1: This is not a good situation. Okay, you can't be
Speaker 1: living together, you can't be playing house right now. You're
Speaker 1: not married. If you were married, I would have a
Speaker 1: completely different set of advice for your brother, right this
Speaker 1: would be a completely different conversation. But he's talking about
Speaker 1: a girlfriend that doesn't have a ring on her finger,
Speaker 1: and there's no kids in the house, and he's already
Speaker 1: being bothered because she's not working and she's not cleaning.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying that this just does not
Speaker 1: make sense. You're asking me how to help fix their
Speaker 1: relationship when they're not married. They're going about this backwards.
Speaker 1: They're already playing house. It's time for him to move out,
Speaker 1: and he's probably not going to because I'm assuming he
Speaker 1: didn't email me. You did, because you see the problem
Speaker 1: more than he does, and he loves her. But he's
Speaker 1: got to move out, man, And this is for anyone
Speaker 1: else listening. It's not a time to be moving in.
Speaker 1: And he's working all these hours, and he's working fourteen
Speaker 1: hour days and comes home and his girlfriend hasn't done anything.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have a job, she's just mooching off this.
Speaker 1: It's time. She's nineteen. He needs to kick her out.
Speaker 1: She needs to get a job. And I'm not totally
Speaker 1: blaming her because he's allowing this to happen, but that's
Speaker 1: just not the way we're set up. Humans are not
Speaker 1: set up to do this. And we think that we
Speaker 1: think that we are, and we watch Hollywood movies and
Speaker 1: we think that this is this what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: But no, everybody at your family farm, I'm assuming your
Speaker 1: dad or your grandpa or other family members are involved
Speaker 1: here in this work need to get around him and say, man,
Speaker 1: it's time for her to move out. It's time. You
Speaker 1: could still date or you could still have a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: but it's time to move out. Is this is not
Speaker 1: the right situation, This is not the right environment to
Speaker 1: eventually decide you want to get married and then have
Speaker 1: kids and you're already seeing these red flags. No boom,
Speaker 1: that's an easy answers. That is the easiest answer. No
Speaker 1: move out. Flipping around here, subject client says, repairing relationship
Speaker 1: with Jesus and a new baby Hey, my name is Noah,
Speaker 1: and me and my girlfriend are expecting our first child together.
Speaker 1: I have no doubt that I want to spend the
Speaker 1: rest of my life with her. However, we aren't engaged
Speaker 1: because in preparing for the baby has become her main focus.
Speaker 1: I've had a difficult relationship with God in the past,
Speaker 1: but my eyes have been opened up recently. My only
Speaker 1: real struggle is going back to attending church with a
Speaker 1: pregnant girlfriend that I'm not married to. So I'm excited
Speaker 1: to be a dad and I love this baby more
Speaker 1: than I ever thought I could, and she's not even
Speaker 1: here yet. I'm just worried that having a baby out
Speaker 1: of wedlock could be a hurdle in our relationship with
Speaker 1: God and the church. She wants to go back to
Speaker 1: church as well, but she has similar reservations like me.
Speaker 1: Thank you for answering. We're a huge fan of your music.
Speaker 1: Dismissed on the podcast. Hmm, it's interesting, back to back questions.
Speaker 1: It's interesting. You know how I'm going to answer this, Noah,
Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, thank you for Thank you,
Speaker 1: dude for trusting me with this, and thanks for emailing,
Speaker 1: and thanks for listening and watching and I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you straight up, you already know my answer. You've if
Speaker 1: you've listened to my podcast, you already know my answer, right.
Speaker 1: And I appreciate you trusting me with this, But you
Speaker 1: also answered yourself. You here's what you said. Let me
Speaker 1: read your word. I'm just worried that having a baby
Speaker 1: out of wedlock could put a could be a hurdle
Speaker 1: in my relationship with God and the church. Why do
Speaker 1: you think that? Maybe because that's what God says in
Speaker 1: his word. See, God sets this up right. We have
Speaker 1: the Bible as a roadmap for us, and it's set
Speaker 1: up not to be a hindrance to us or a
Speaker 1: problem for us. Because he's putting restrictions. He's putting handcuffs
Speaker 1: on a fun life, on a good life. God is
Speaker 1: not putting handcuffs on our life. He's setting these these
Speaker 1: standards for us to follow so that we have a
Speaker 1: better life. Why how does he know that? Because he
Speaker 1: created us. It's like you buy a truck from Ford,
Speaker 1: and Ford says, here's your truck. This is a gas
Speaker 1: powered F one fifty. By the way, don't put diesel
Speaker 1: in it now. If you do, that's not that big
Speaker 1: a deal to Ford. But they know because they made it,
Speaker 1: they created it, they built the truck that it needs gasoline,
Speaker 1: and so they say, don't put diesel in it. And
Speaker 1: then you go out and you put diesel in it,
Speaker 1: and it breaks down, and you go, why did Ford
Speaker 1: tell me that? I don't understand. Ford told you that
Speaker 1: for your own good, not for God's good, not for
Speaker 1: Ford's good. God is already good, right, He doesn't need anything.
Speaker 1: He is complete already, He is good already. But he
Speaker 1: makes he makes these guidelines for us so that we
Speaker 1: could feel more content with him, and we could be
Speaker 1: more satisfied in our life, and we could have less hurdles.
Speaker 1: That's your word, hurdle. Having a baby out of wedlock
Speaker 1: could put a hurdle in a relationship. Now, here's the deal.
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. Here's the good news. Noah, you could
Speaker 1: fix this right now. The baby's not a problem. A
Speaker 1: baby is never a problem. A baby is never an
Speaker 1: accident to God. A baby is never a mistake to God.
Speaker 1: It's always has a purpose, right, So there's nothing bad
Speaker 1: about the baby. It's how you're going about planning on
Speaker 1: raising it. Your words at the very beginning of your
Speaker 1: email say, we aren't engaged because we're preparing for the baby,
Speaker 1: which has become our main purpose, our main focus. Imagine
Speaker 1: this baby thirty years from now, and you say, the
Speaker 1: baby says, the man says, why did why did you
Speaker 1: not marry mom when I was a baby because we
Speaker 1: were focusing on having you. That doesn't compute because what
Speaker 1: a kid needs is mom and dad. Secure. It's like
Speaker 1: when you're in an airplane and they say, when oxygen
Speaker 1: mask comes down, right, secure yourself first. Put it on
Speaker 1: yourself first, not your kid and the person next to you.
Speaker 1: Put it on yourself. Why because when you get the
Speaker 1: oxygen mask and you put it on, now you could
Speaker 1: focus because you're breathing. You're good. Now you could actually
Speaker 1: help others instead of helping others while you're passing out
Speaker 1: because you don't have oxygen. That's why the airlines say
Speaker 1: that put the oxygen mask on you first. So you first, buddy,
Speaker 1: which is your relationship with your girlfriend, secure that first.
Speaker 1: Then focus on the baby, because if you don't, you're
Speaker 1: not going to have the oxygen to take care of
Speaker 1: the baby. Does that make sense? So here's this is
Speaker 1: where it gets easy. This answer is so easy. You
Speaker 1: want to go to church. You're worried about what God
Speaker 1: will think of you and a pregnant girlfriend. You know
Speaker 1: how to fix it. Go to the courthouse the day
Speaker 1: you hear this podcast. Noah ironic name by the way,
Speaker 1: go to the courthouse today or tomorrow and get that
Speaker 1: piece of paper. Marry this girl. You said, you said,
Speaker 1: I have no doubt. I want to spend the rest
Speaker 1: of my life with her. Then what are you waiting on? Bro?
Speaker 1: Wrap it up? Go get the paper. Put the ring
Speaker 1: on her finger. I don't care if it's a plastic
Speaker 1: ring from Ye apparel. I don't care what the ring
Speaker 1: looks like. You could get a ring. You could save
Speaker 1: up and get a nice engagement ring. Later. You could
Speaker 1: have a big party, invite all your family and all
Speaker 1: your friends and celebrate later. But right now, marry this girl.
Speaker 1: Put the rubber ring on her finger, Put the silicon
Speaker 1: ring on her finger, and get this done. You were
Speaker 1: gonna be so that. This is gonna let your heart
Speaker 1: be free. You're gonna sleep at night and go We
Speaker 1: did it. We're right now, We're on a good path. Now,
Speaker 1: no more regret, no more worry, no more shame, no
Speaker 1: more vulnerable. You got it. Go do this, Okay, don't
Speaker 1: worry about what America tells you you need to have
Speaker 1: any long engagement. You got to get the perfect church
Speaker 1: and she's got to get the perfect dress. This is
Speaker 1: not going to happen. Now there's a baby coming. That's
Speaker 1: not going to happen. I don't care. You shouldn't care.
Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. I barely even remember
Speaker 1: my wedding. It was thirteen years ago. I remember Amber
Speaker 1: walking down the aisle, and I remember it was a
Speaker 1: very special day, but I don't remember any other details.
Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. This is a new
Speaker 1: thing in our culture to have these huge, perfect weddings
Speaker 1: and invite everybody. You've seen braveheart right. They got married
Speaker 1: in the woods with one preacher. Get a preacher to
Speaker 1: come to your house. Whatever, Get it done. Okay, Noah,
Speaker 1: get it done. Next question says relationship. Hell, pay granger.
Speaker 1: My name is Colby, I'm nineteen, I'm from Montgomery. I
Speaker 1: know you say every relationship is the same when they're
Speaker 1: asking for advice, but I really think this one is different. Okay,
Speaker 1: challenge accepted. The girl I want to see is an
Speaker 1: EMT and a firefighter. She's also has very little time off.
Speaker 1: I've seen her a few times and I know she's
Speaker 1: into me, but I don't know if she's flaking when
Speaker 1: I ask her out or if she's genuinely busy. Any
Speaker 1: advice would be great. Okay, let me recap this colby
Speaker 1: nineteen years old from Montgomery. You really like this girl.
Speaker 1: She's amazing and she's going to be twenty in a
Speaker 1: couple months. She's an EMT and a firefighter, and she's
Speaker 1: very busy. You've only seen her a few times, and
Speaker 1: you know that she's into you, but you don't know
Speaker 1: if she's flaking when you ask her out or if
Speaker 1: she's actually busy. Okay, got it to me. The way
Speaker 1: I would approach this this is this is called courting right,
Speaker 1: and this is the thing that was before our time.
Speaker 1: It was a really big deal. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: a story of my grandfather on my mother's side. He
Speaker 1: saw my grandmother and she was walking down the street,
Speaker 1: and this was in the the thirties. He saw her
Speaker 1: and he told his friends he said, I'm gonna marry
Speaker 1: that girl. So he went up to her and he said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna marry you one day, and she said, I've
Speaker 1: got a boyfriend. Sorry, and she kept walking and he
Speaker 1: went and he found out where she lived. Maybe creepy
Speaker 1: asked her dad and he said, I want to marry
Speaker 1: your daughter and he said no, I don't think so
Speaker 1: she's got a boyfriend. So then he saw her that
Speaker 1: weekend at the little street dance they had. This was
Speaker 1: in a little bitty town in West Texas. He saw
Speaker 1: it the street dance and he came up to her
Speaker 1: again and he said, what's it gonna take. I really
Speaker 1: like you. Can I dance with you? And she's like fine,
Speaker 1: one dance okay. So fast forward a few weeks. He
Speaker 1: just kept this up so that Corey, I mean Colby,
Speaker 1: this is what you do. This is how this is
Speaker 1: called courting. So she's an EMT. She's busy. Tell her
Speaker 1: straight up, I like you, let's go on a date.
Speaker 1: She says, I'm busy, and you go cool, how about Wednesday?
Speaker 1: And she goes, I'm working Wednesday, and you go cool.
Speaker 1: And then you go find her and you say how
Speaker 1: about Friday. She goes, I'm working Friday too. Actually, okay, hey,
Speaker 1: let me know when you have time because I really
Speaker 1: want to see you, and she goes, I'm just really busy.
Speaker 1: Now you can get a hint that she doesn't like you.
Speaker 1: But you told me that, you said that she's into you.
Speaker 1: Court her, pursue her. Girls want to be pursued. They
Speaker 1: need to be pursued. Tell her what's it gonna take.
Speaker 1: I know you're busy. How about how this five minutes?
Speaker 1: I want to see you for five minutes? How about
Speaker 1: what time do you get off work? When I got
Speaker 1: off work at ten pm? How About I meet you
Speaker 1: at ten pm and we and I'll bring you a
Speaker 1: sonic route forty four Cherry Limemad at ten to ten
Speaker 1: oh five, and we'll have a Cherry Limemaid together. Tell
Speaker 1: her that find a way, find a way and if
Speaker 1: straight up she says, no, I actually don't want to
Speaker 1: see you. There's your hint. Move on. But I'm telling
Speaker 1: you Colby, to pursue her, to find space and be
Speaker 1: patient with her. It seems like in this this day
Speaker 1: and age we go. I don't know, she's kind of flaking.
Speaker 1: She said, no, So I'm out. I think I'm out.
Speaker 1: Whatever happened to the pursuit, whatever happened to courting, whatever
Speaker 1: happened to believing in something and going after it and
Speaker 1: being rejected over and over and over until you finally
Speaker 1: get a yes, until you finally get her to say, fine, Sunday,
Speaker 1: I'm open Sunday and you go, great, let's go see
Speaker 1: a movie. She goes, I don't have a car, and
Speaker 1: you go, I'll pick you up six o'clock Sunday. I'll
Speaker 1: beat your house and then see how it goes. Pursue
Speaker 1: her subject line. Next one says laziness. Hey Granger, I'm
Speaker 1: Ryan from Missouri. I have had issues with laziness and
Speaker 1: honestly just not caring about anything anymore. I'm in college
Speaker 1: and I'm failing a class because I think to myself, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll get it later. And then in regards to the caring,
Speaker 1: I just don't understand why. But it took my friends
Speaker 1: and family a month and a half to drag me
Speaker 1: out of the house to actually do something I really
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. Thanks for reading if you get the chance, Ryan,
Speaker 1: Ryan shout out to Missouri. Thanks for the question. Laziness sloth, sloth?
Speaker 1: You know that's uh. It's one of the deadly sins.
Speaker 1: And I don't blame you. We've all through this, we've
Speaker 1: all felt this. This is this is a season. I
Speaker 1: do want to say before I dig into this, I
Speaker 1: do want to say that sometimes this is a medical,
Speaker 1: medical condition that a doctor could help you with. So
Speaker 1: I do want you to consider that maybe you should
Speaker 1: bring it up to a doctor. Hey, doctor, I have
Speaker 1: no energy. I don't feel like I need to do anything.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't be motivated to do anything. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: let's do a blood test. Like that's something. I got
Speaker 1: a feeling, though, Ryan, I got a feeling that's not you.
Speaker 1: I got a feeling there's more going on. You need
Speaker 1: to you need something to shake you up. Something has
Speaker 1: to change. You're like a glass with with glitter in it,
Speaker 1: right as we're all, we're all like a glass of
Speaker 1: water with glitter in it, and eventually all that glitter
Speaker 1: just goes and falls to the bottom, and then the
Speaker 1: glass is clear, and you've got to get something to
Speaker 1: shake it up and get that all that good or
Speaker 1: spinning again, because one thing leads to another and then
Speaker 1: and then you get motivated again. One thing to do.
Speaker 1: And you've emailed me, so you recognize there's a problem.
Speaker 1: But you know one thing I would do if I
Speaker 1: were you, If I was your friend. I would say, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's start looking at some of the things that are important,
Speaker 1: like the class. You don't want to fail the class.
Speaker 1: So I would go straight up, this takes courage, Ryan,
Speaker 1: This takes courage. But I would go to the professor
Speaker 1: in the class and I would say, my name is Ryan.
Speaker 1: I am struggling in this class, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I feel like mentally I'm getting it and I could
Speaker 1: do it, but I'm having trouble being motivated enough to
Speaker 1: do it. So here's some steps I'm gonna take. I
Speaker 1: want to I'm wanna sit on the front row, and
Speaker 1: I want you to help me stay accountable because I want,
Speaker 1: I really want to do this. I want this to
Speaker 1: matter to me, and so I'm gonna I want you
Speaker 1: to keep me accountable. I'm gonna sit right in front
Speaker 1: of you on the front row, and I'm gonna watch you,
Speaker 1: and I want you to watch me because this matters
Speaker 1: to me and I don't want this to be lost
Speaker 1: on me. Do you have enough courage to do that? Right?
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, Do you care enough about
Speaker 1: the class to do something like that. If the answer
Speaker 1: is no, then we need a greater shakeup. We need
Speaker 1: something bigger. You know what, I would say something like this,
Speaker 1: Marine Corps Army, time to pack up everything. You want
Speaker 1: to shake that glass up, you want to get that
Speaker 1: all that glitter flowing again. Go to the Army recruiter,
Speaker 1: Marine Corps recruiter and say, my name is Ryan, and
Speaker 1: I need to shake up my life. I'm feeling lazy,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling I'm feeling complacent, I'm feeling not motivated. And
Speaker 1: that recruiter is gonna go. We'll get you motivated. We'll
Speaker 1: shake it up for you. No, no problem, Sign on
Speaker 1: the dotted line, buddy. So let me ask you again, Ryan,
Speaker 1: are you do you have enough courage to do that?
Speaker 1: How bad do you want to change? And this is
Speaker 1: to anyone listening. Whatever you want in life, I could
Speaker 1: tell how bad you want it by how it is
Speaker 1: manifesting in your life currently. Like, for instance, if you
Speaker 1: say I really want to be a good father, I
Speaker 1: really want to be a good father, well I could tell,
Speaker 1: and anyone around you can tell how bad you want
Speaker 1: to be a good father by your kids. We could
Speaker 1: look at that. If you want to say I want
Speaker 1: to be the best at my job, I could tell,
Speaker 1: and your boss could tell how bad you really want
Speaker 1: to be the best at your job, by how you're
Speaker 1: currently performing at your job, because if you're not, then
Speaker 1: I'll go, well, you really don't want to be the
Speaker 1: best at your job. You really don't want to be
Speaker 1: a great father because you're not doing anything, so you
Speaker 1: really don't. So don't say you really want it. So
Speaker 1: to you, Ryan, I say, how bad do you want
Speaker 1: to fix this problem? What extreme measures will you take
Speaker 1: to shake your life up? Because I'm giving you some extremes.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, drop everything, go to the Marine Corps, go
Speaker 1: to the army. They will shake you up. They will
Speaker 1: keep you accountable. Another thing to do if you don't
Speaker 1: want to go to that kind of extreme, get a
Speaker 1: good group of guys, an accountability group, and go to
Speaker 1: them and go, Guys, i'm feeling lazy. I need you
Speaker 1: guys to help me, and they'll go, yeah, let's do it. Well,
Speaker 1: we'll keep each other accountable, right, keep an eye on me.
Speaker 1: We can't be trusted on our own. I think you're
Speaker 1: too comfortable. If you're in a class in college and
Speaker 1: you're failing because you're thinking I'll get to it later.
Speaker 1: Something tells me, buddy, I'm gonna say something to you,
Speaker 1: and please don't take offense to this, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you. Something tells me you're not paying for that
Speaker 1: class somebody else's. I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 1: to drag you through the dirt too much. But I
Speaker 1: think if you were paying for that class, if that
Speaker 1: was your money, and you worked for that money to
Speaker 1: pay for that college class, you sure wouldn't fail it
Speaker 1: because you just think you'll get to it later. You'll
Speaker 1: think I paid for this class. I'm studying. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get this done and I'm definitely gonna pass it, cause
Speaker 1: I gotta do better. If that's the case, if someone
Speaker 1: else is paying for it, maybe your parents, and you're
Speaker 1: failing it, I gotta tell you, man, you're failing them too.
Speaker 1: How does that make you feel it's time to shake
Speaker 1: things up. There's a lot of ways to do it.
Speaker 1: Email me back, we'll talk about it. I appreciate you, buddy,
Speaker 1: I appreciate all y'all. Thank you for emailing. I love
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. It's fun and we'll see you next Monday.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yi