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Speaker 1: So look at this as I had a great relationship.

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Speaker 1: I had some great times with her. We're now going

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Speaker 1: to go and go our separate ways, and it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be hard. It's gonna be hard to you. Okay, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be hard for her too, but you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to let her go. What's up, everybody, Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for watching and listening. Wherever you're coming from, I

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Speaker 1: appreciate you. I love this podcast. I love answering your questions,

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Speaker 1: walking through them like we're sitting around a campfire. If

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Speaker 1: you have a question for me, email Granger Smith Podcast

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We'll put it in the queue.

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Speaker 1: I have no notes. I only have my phone where

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Speaker 1: I am reading your emails. That's all I'm doing. So

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Speaker 1: you could take this with a grain of salt. I'm

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Speaker 1: not always right on these and they're about all different subjects,

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Speaker 1: but you could take it as if you're sitting around

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Speaker 1: with a friend and I'm just telling you, at first

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Speaker 1: glance of your question, how I would walk through it

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Speaker 1: with you like we're friends. And I feel like we are.

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Speaker 1: So let's jump into this. I'm just gonna randomly hit

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Speaker 1: some of these emails this one says subject line overthinking.

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Speaker 1: Hey Gringer, my name is Ashton. I'm fifteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I live in Massachusetts. Lately, I've been overthinking a lot

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Speaker 1: of things that seem relatively easy for other people. I've

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Speaker 1: also been constantly thinking about the future more than I

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Speaker 1: have been living my own life in the current moment.

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Speaker 1: So here's my question. Do you have any advice on

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Speaker 1: how to help with this process and how to make

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Speaker 1: me better? Thanks? I love your music. It comes from Ashton, Massachusetts,

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Speaker 1: fifteen years old. Great question, man, You are worrying about

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Speaker 1: the future. First of all, don't You're fifteen. But you're

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Speaker 1: not going to take my advice because that's impossible. But

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you from my chair looking at you and

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Speaker 1: having been a fifteen year old, you have nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. You have only your life ahead of you, brother,

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Speaker 1: So try to live life in the presence. So then

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Speaker 1: you think, well, how do I do that? Because I've

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Speaker 1: got all this stuff I'm worried about, I'm constantly thinking

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Speaker 1: and I'm overthinking. How do I how do I be present? Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, be careful that device, that screen that

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Speaker 1: you're on, because that constantly makes you unconscious. The more

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Speaker 1: you're flipping through a screen, the more unconscious you are

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Speaker 1: to the present moment, because that's putting you in a

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Speaker 1: place where you're looking at other things, you're looking at

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Speaker 1: other people, and then you're comparing yourself to those other people.

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Speaker 1: That's what social media does. So avoid that when you can.

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Speaker 1: It's impossible to completely avoid it. I understand that's part

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Speaker 1: of our it's integrated into our lives right now. But

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Speaker 1: realize that when you go on there, you need to

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Speaker 1: have a purpose. You're going on social media for a

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Speaker 1: certain reason. You're going on there to look at something,

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Speaker 1: or to post something, or to check something out. But

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Speaker 1: then be aware that you're gonna fall unconscious to it,

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Speaker 1: and ten minutes could go by quickly and then you go,

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Speaker 1: where did those ten minutes go? That's because I was

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Speaker 1: scrolling through other stuff, right, So be careful of that.

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Speaker 1: The other thing is to concentrate on the present. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you have to do things to make you feel present.

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Speaker 1: What are those things, Well, I'll tell you what. A

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Speaker 1: cold shower is something anything that gives your body out

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Speaker 1: of the sense of its normal environment. So a cold

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Speaker 1: shower will shock your body into a fight or flight,

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Speaker 1: getting into an ice bath is the ultimate way. I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you right now. It's the quickest, most efficient, cheapest

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Speaker 1: way right now for you to be present with yourself

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Speaker 1: and to practice being in the present moment. That's taking

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Speaker 1: an ice bath. I'm talking. Go to the gas station

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Speaker 1: and get you three bags of ice. Dump it into

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Speaker 1: your bathtub and fill the bathtub up. Get ready for

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Speaker 1: a shock to your whole system. And if you want

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Speaker 1: to get fun with it, you could do this. If

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Speaker 1: you want to get fun with it, get a timer.

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Speaker 1: You should do this anyway. Get a timer and make

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Speaker 1: sure you go thirty seconds at least in this ice

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Speaker 1: right you're thinking I'm crazy. Right now, I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: answer your question in a unique way, and I've done

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Speaker 1: this many times time yourself. Thirty seconds. Get in the ice,

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Speaker 1: and at first you just feel this complete shock. It

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Speaker 1: feels terrible, It feels like needles are all over and

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Speaker 1: you feel in pain. But when you wait thirty seconds,

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Speaker 1: that's about the number that I've calculated with my personal experience.

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Speaker 1: After thirty seconds, you start going numb and all the

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Speaker 1: blood in your extremities rushes to your core because it

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Speaker 1: thinks we're dying right now, we're dying and we need

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Speaker 1: blood to keep us warmth. So all the blood rushes

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Speaker 1: from your extremities to your core. And when it hits

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Speaker 1: your core and all the blood goes into the center

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Speaker 1: of your body, you feel a calmness, a piece a euphoria.

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Speaker 1: You could relax at that point. Now, don't go more

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Speaker 1: than three minutes at the beginning. The first time you

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Speaker 1: ever do it, I wouldn't go over three minutes, and

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Speaker 1: I could tell you why on a different story. I've

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Speaker 1: tried this many times. But after three minutes, get out,

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Speaker 1: dry off, and you're gonna notice. Then start your timer again. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so watch the timer again, and about three it takes

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Speaker 1: about the equal time that you were in the ice,

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Speaker 1: which is if you're doing it for three minutes, about

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Speaker 1: three minutes later, the blood your body goes Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna die. I thought it was gonna die. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna die. So it's time to circulate the blood again.

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Speaker 1: So the blood goes then from your core back out

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Speaker 1: to your extremities, and when it goes back out, it's

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Speaker 1: cold blood, and you could feel it in your fingertips

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Speaker 1: and your feet and your legs and your elbows. You

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Speaker 1: could feel this cold flush go through you and it's

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Speaker 1: all fresh, so your blood has recirculated your entire system

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Speaker 1: and it's really good for you. It's good to do this,

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Speaker 1: and one of the benefits, one of the many benefits

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Speaker 1: from this is you are present. I promise you, Ashton,

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Speaker 1: if you try this, when you're in that water for

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Speaker 1: those three minutes, when you're watching your time or you're

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Speaker 1: literally watching seconds go by your life, precious seconds that

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Speaker 1: you can't get back, that's a good thing. And as

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Speaker 1: you feel that and you're in that ice, you're not

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Speaker 1: thinking about the future or things that you did in

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Speaker 1: the past, or what you're gonna do tomorrow at school.

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Speaker 1: You're only focused on those seconds as they tick by slowly.

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Speaker 1: This is one of the many things you could do

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Speaker 1: to practice being present in the moment, seiling yourself in

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Speaker 1: that moment. Try this, Okay, get back to me, let

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Speaker 1: me know what happens. Next question, says subject line a

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Speaker 1: struggling mom. Hey, Granger, I have a seventeen year old

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Speaker 1: son who in the last year and a half has

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Speaker 1: changed completely. He and I have always been close, but

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Speaker 1: now he wants it's nothing to do with me. He says,

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Speaker 1: he hates me. I'm not a mother to him, and

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Speaker 1: he even left home for nine days. I caught him

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Speaker 1: vaping and he thinks there's nothing wrong with it. I've

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Speaker 1: tried to talk to him about it, but all I

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Speaker 1: get is leave me alone. He was raised in church,

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Speaker 1: but he's fallen away and does not want any part

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Speaker 1: of it. He has a girlfriend who's very verbally and

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Speaker 1: physically abusive to him. She's even touched him in the face,

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Speaker 1: but he keeps going back. Please help a desperate mother

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Speaker 1: who's in need of advice, She says parentheses. I do

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Speaker 1: have him in counseling. Thank you, Donna from Missouri. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to Missouri Donna, thank you for emailing. That's a

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Speaker 1: great question, and I'm sorry for the struggle that you're

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Speaker 1: in right now. I've been seventeen, We've all been seventeen.

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Speaker 1: You've been seventeen. Where to go from here? Okay, you're right.

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Speaker 1: I want to validate your feelings that you're worried. You

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Speaker 1: love him, you're worried about him. You care about his

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Speaker 1: well being, you care about a girlfriend that is physically

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Speaker 1: and verbally abusing him, You care about his health because

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Speaker 1: he's vaping, and you just want your son back, right,

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Speaker 1: And we're gonna go through this with our kids one day.

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Speaker 1: Everyone that has teenagers eventually goes through this where you

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Speaker 1: feel like you've lost the little boy that you once had,

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Speaker 1: the little boy that you cuddled with and read storybooks too,

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Speaker 1: and he asked you for advice, and he listened to you,

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Speaker 1: and he called mommy, and you made him snacks. You

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Speaker 1: miss that little boy. But as you know, Donna, he's

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Speaker 1: gone and he's becoming a man. This is his transition

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Speaker 1: into becoming a man, and he is experimenting with a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that you don't agree with. While you're

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Speaker 1: encouraging him to stop these things that you don't agree with,

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Speaker 1: be careful in this encouragement that you are also praising

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Speaker 1: him for what he's doing. Right. He needs that. So,

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Speaker 1: I mean, let's say he gets up and he makes

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Speaker 1: his bed one day. Maybe maybe he does it. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that's pushing it. Say he makes his bed one day,

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Speaker 1: you gotta come in and you gotta go. I'm just

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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of the man that you're becoming and

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Speaker 1: the responsibility that you're taking. I'm so proud at the

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Speaker 1: boy that I've raised, it's now becoming a man. Make

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Speaker 1: sure that you get to say those words to him.

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Speaker 1: Find times during the day, watch him, study him. Find

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Speaker 1: times during the day when you could you could pour

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Speaker 1: that into him so that he's not only hearing the

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Speaker 1: things that he does wrong. It's pushing him away. He's

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Speaker 1: hearing nagging. He's hearing things he's doing wrong. He's hearing

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Speaker 1: corrections constantly, and inside he's thinking, I guess I don't

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Speaker 1: do anything right, so I'll just keep doing the wrong stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. I just wash it

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Speaker 1: off my back. All I hear is negative from mom.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I don't even want to I want to

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Speaker 1: leave the home right. I want to be gone for

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Speaker 1: nine days because at least I'm not getting nagged. Donna.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're a nagging mother, but I'm

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Speaker 1: saying I'm trying to give you suggestions of ways to

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Speaker 1: poor love into him, give him positivity. Don't just tell

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Speaker 1: him the things he's doing wrong, but tell him the

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Speaker 1: things he's doing right. And if I were you, I

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Speaker 1: would tell him equally or more times that he's doing

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Speaker 1: right than the times you tell me he's doing wrong.

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Speaker 1: Instead of correcting him all the time. Say you're talking

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Speaker 1: about vaping, instead of saying that stuff's gonna kill you.

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Speaker 1: Stop doing the vaping. I don't know why you do this.

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Speaker 1: I raised you better than this. Instead of that, say

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Speaker 1: I see you're vaping a lot. Yeah, what's it to you? Mom? Hum,

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Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about vaping. Can you tell

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Speaker 1: me more about about what it is and why you

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Speaker 1: like it so much? Can you tell me more about it?

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Speaker 1: Open up a conversation so that he knows he has

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Speaker 1: to explain it to you. Well, I don't know it.

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Speaker 1: Relaxes me. I do it with my friends. Let him

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Speaker 1: explain it to you. He knows you don't have to

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Speaker 1: tell him. But open up the conversation so at least

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Speaker 1: you're talking about it. Talk to him about his girlfriend

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Speaker 1: in the same way. Say do you love her? Do

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Speaker 1: you treat her well? Start with that. Do you treat

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Speaker 1: her well? Yeah? OK? Yeah, I treat her well? Good?

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Speaker 1: That's how I raised you. I raised you to treat

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Speaker 1: women well. You know that, right? Yes? Does she treat

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Speaker 1: you well well? I mean I mean sometimes a lot

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Speaker 1: of most of the time she does. Watch him start

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Speaker 1: stumbling through these words, But you're having a conversation. Let

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Speaker 1: him answer it for you, ask her, ask him if

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Speaker 1: she's if she's the best that he could do right now,

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Speaker 1: she's the best girl that for you right now. Let

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Speaker 1: him answer that, Let him give you the answer, Let

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Speaker 1: him walk through instead of you correcting him, and make

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Speaker 1: sure you're pouring positivity. Make sure you're pouring love into him.

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Speaker 1: Tell him you love him, Tell him how much you're

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Speaker 1: proud of him for who he's becoming. That kind of

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Speaker 1: psychology that you're going to give him is going to

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Speaker 1: show him, first of all, that you love him, you're

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Speaker 1: there for him, you care for him, and also that

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Speaker 1: you have an expectation and that you're watching. And he's

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Speaker 1: not going to want to disappoint you. He's not going

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Speaker 1: to want to disappoint that version of you, the other version,

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Speaker 1: the nagging version, that's no big deal to him. He's

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Speaker 1: used to it. He's numb to it. Now. Okay, see

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Speaker 1: what that does for you. Scrolling through the next question. Subjecline,

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Speaker 1: long distance anonymous. What's up, Granger. I'm about to graduate

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Speaker 1: high school. I've been I have a pretty serious girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: We've been dating for three years. It's been nothing but

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Speaker 1: the best time of my life. We're going to different colleges,

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Speaker 1: and we have been going back and forth on doing

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Speaker 1: long distance. Her family likes me as an individual, but

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Speaker 1: sees the importance of growing apart, picking up first, and

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Speaker 1: possibly rekindling a flame somewhere down the road. I personally

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Speaker 1: do not see this working out if that's the route

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Speaker 1: we need to take. But I do see her family

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Speaker 1: is respecting me a little bit more if I were

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Speaker 1: to be more successful, and I'm not let me know

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Speaker 1: your thoughts. Thanks Anonymous. This is one of these instances

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Speaker 1: that I've talked about before where you're answering your own

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Speaker 1: question to me and you're telling me your words. I

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Speaker 1: personally do not see this working out if this is

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Speaker 1: the route we need to take, and you also know,

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Speaker 1: so you know two things here. You know that this

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Speaker 1: is not going to work out, and you also know

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Speaker 1: that this is the route you need to take because

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Speaker 1: life has come to a crossroads and you're going to

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Speaker 1: different colleges. You can't change colleges for her, she can't

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Speaker 1: change colleges for you. You're still in high school. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna deny you the idea that this is

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Speaker 1: some of the best times of your life with her.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. Good think of think of

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Speaker 1: the blessing you have from having a girlfriend that you

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Speaker 1: you had some great times with, as opposed to the opposite.

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of emails that are that are

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Speaker 1: the opposite. So look at this as I had a

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Speaker 1: great relationship, I had some great times with her. We're

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Speaker 1: now going to go and go our separate ways, and

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard to you, Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard for her too, But you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to let her go. This is a time when

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Speaker 1: everyone listening can tell you they've been there, and you

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Speaker 1: have to let her go. Go to her own college.

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Speaker 1: You go to yours experience life. Don't get caught up

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Speaker 1: talking to her late at night, over and over getting

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Speaker 1: up early for a test the next day, failing the

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Speaker 1: test because you stayed up till three am talking to

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Speaker 1: her and missing her. Protect your protect your heart in

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Speaker 1: this open up, because that's going to close you off

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Speaker 1: to making new friends. And you will make new friends.

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Speaker 1: She will too, That's probably what you're afraid of. But

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Speaker 1: she will, and if it's meant to be, you'll get

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Speaker 1: back together. Don't plan on it. Don't force that card

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Speaker 1: to pop up and you play that hand. Don't do

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Speaker 1: that right, go your separate ways. We have a sovereign

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Speaker 1: God that has a plan for all of us, and

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Speaker 1: if this is if this is meant to be, it'll happen.

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Speaker 1: But you have to go through this heartbreak, you have

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Speaker 1: to go through this separation, you have to go through

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Speaker 1: the long distance, and don't push it. Let her go.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of next question, subject line break up, Dear granger,

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Speaker 1: my name is Connor. I'm eighteen. About six months ago,

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Speaker 1: I went through a heartbreak with a girl that I've

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Speaker 1: been with for about two years. We shared a lot

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Speaker 1: of memories and first experiences together. I'll say that a

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Speaker 1: huge part of why things ended was my own mistakes,

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Speaker 1: my own actions that I made. She's now moved on.

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Speaker 1: We have mutual friends, and it's like everywhere I look

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Speaker 1: there's a reminder of us. Things have gotten better, but

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Speaker 1: I still find myself not being able to sleep some

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Speaker 1: nights because I'm wondering what she's doing and what I

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Speaker 1: could have done differently. You need advice you might have

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Speaker 1: would mean a lot, Connor. This is what nineties country

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Speaker 1: music is all about. Brother. There have been so many

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Speaker 1: songs written about your situation. You know what, that also

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Speaker 1: proves that you're not the first, you're not the last,

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Speaker 1: and you're not alone. Heartbreak, ma'n heartbreak. Things that you

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Speaker 1: could have done differently, mistakes that you might have made

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Speaker 1: that drove her away. Now you find yourself not being

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Speaker 1: able to sleep some nights, wondering what she's doing. There's

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Speaker 1: a Garth Brooks on called what She's doing Now. There's

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Speaker 1: literally a song called what She's doing now? Because what

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Speaker 1: she's doing now is tearing me apart, filling up my

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Speaker 1: mind and empty in my heart. I can hear her

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Speaker 1: call each night the cold wind blows, and I wonder

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Speaker 1: if she knows what she's doing now. That's literally the

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Speaker 1: heart and soul of all of nineteen nineties country music.

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Speaker 1: So where do you go from here? You're eighteen, You

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Speaker 1: have so much life ahead of you, and so does

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Speaker 1: she understand first of all, that you're sick. You've got

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Speaker 1: a heart that's broken and it's making you sick. But

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Speaker 1: understanding that is a big part of your battle right now.

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Speaker 1: Understanding you're not alone. Understanding this is a natural occurring

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Speaker 1: event that happens to you. Heartbreak is natural, and your

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Speaker 1: heartbroken because you had a good thing at one time

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Speaker 1: and you feel like you messed it up. So there's

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Speaker 1: good news now, you know. Now you get to to

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Speaker 1: go back and think about those things. What did I do?

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Speaker 1: What did I not say to her enough? What did

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Speaker 1: I not do enough? What did I do too much of?

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Speaker 1: How did I neglect her in what ways? And then

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Speaker 1: and then think to yourself, one day, when I meet

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Speaker 1: a girl, and you will meet a girl one day

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Speaker 1: when I have another relationship, I'm not gonna make those

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Speaker 1: same mistakes. I've learned from those mistakes now, and the

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Speaker 1: next girl is gonna benefit from that, and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have a better relationship because of it. And then one day,

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Speaker 1: you do this a couple of times in a row,

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Speaker 1: one day you're gonna meet a girl, and that says,

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Speaker 1: where did you come from? You're the best guy ever,

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Speaker 1: And you're gonna think I went through Helen back, and

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Speaker 1: I learned, and I stayed up late nights and I

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Speaker 1: cried and I and I wondered what I could have

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Speaker 1: done differently, and then I correct it several times until

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Speaker 1: I met you. You're not gonna tell her this, but

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Speaker 1: and then I met you, and I'm better because of

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Speaker 1: the track record I had. The mistakes that I made

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Speaker 1: made me better now and I'm a better man, and

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Speaker 1: I'm a better boyfriend and ultimately a better husband. That's

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Speaker 1: a good thing. That's a good thing. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to make that mistake with your wife. Things that you

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Speaker 1: didn't say or did too much of, ways that you neglected.

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Speaker 1: You learn the lesson now. That doesn't make this heartbreak

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Speaker 1: easier for you, but you should know that you're not alone.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people feel like this, So take some time,

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Speaker 1: take some time, don't jump into another relationship, don't rebound.

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Speaker 1: If I were you, I would use those sleepless nights

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Speaker 1: to start talking to God. Hey God, it's me Connor.

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Speaker 1: I'm broken and I'm going to read something Psalm twenty three.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to read it God, because this comes from

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Speaker 1: your own heart. This comes from David, a man of

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Speaker 1: your your own heart. I'm gonna read this. The Lord

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Speaker 1: is my shepherd. I shall not want start there. There's

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Speaker 1: so many songs you can get into, but start there.

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Speaker 1: You're walking through the valley of the shadow of death

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Speaker 1: right now, right but you're gonna fear no evil. This

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Speaker 1: is something you have to repeat to your heart. You're broken,

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Speaker 1: but you're gonna be better and this will pass, and

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Speaker 1: every day that goes by, it's going to get better.

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Speaker 1: Don't stalk her on social media. That's only gonna restart

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Speaker 1: the whole process again. Thanks for emailing brother. Next question

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Speaker 1: says podcast question. Hey, I have a question for you.

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Speaker 1: What camera do you use in your vlog? I love

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Speaker 1: all your songs, and I just love watching the Smiths

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Speaker 1: and your family channel, and I love you radio. This

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Speaker 1: question comes from Lindsay and she's from Delaware. Lindsay, when

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Speaker 1: I'm vlogging, I use Sony camera. I use an A

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Speaker 1: seven three. The A seven three is this one I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at straight ahead, so excuse me. The A seven

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Speaker 1: C is what I'm looking at in the A seven

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Speaker 1: three is the side angle right here. Then I use

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Speaker 1: these Sony cameras a lot. They're great for vlogging. I

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Speaker 1: also have Sony lenses on them. Okay, here's another question,

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Speaker 1: says drastically changed. Now I'm lost a granteon. My name

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Speaker 1: is Andrew, I'm twenty years old. I'm a college student.

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Speaker 1: I found you through TikTok at a time when I

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Speaker 1: was pretty low and you were talking about being single

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Speaker 1: and content, and it was something I really needed to

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Speaker 1: hear at the time. Shortly after that, I found Jesus,

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Speaker 1: I started reading the Bible, started taking my faith seriously.

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Speaker 1: This has resulted in good changes, such as overcoming physical

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Speaker 1: addictions and blocking out lustful thoughts about women, which I've

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Speaker 1: been struggling with in my life. This is called rebirth,

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Speaker 1: by the way. However, some of these changes I'm realizing

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Speaker 1: have been I've been parading around in a persona that

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Speaker 1: isn't truly me before the rebirth. I'm starting to realize

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Speaker 1: that my friends aren't really friends. I'm starting to realize

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Speaker 1: that things that I once thought were fun, like having

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Speaker 1: a high body county partying and hyper lustful relationship culture

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Speaker 1: in college, are becoming disgusting to me. I was confident

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Speaker 1: in my old body, but now that I have this

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Speaker 1: mindset that's been changing drastically, I feel disconnected from myself

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Speaker 1: and I'm going through the motions. I feel trapped by

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Speaker 1: my life that the old me has set up for me.

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Speaker 1: My confidence is really low, and I'm noticing myself becoming

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Speaker 1: a lot more bitter and distant from others. The only

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Speaker 1: things I find joy in now is my family. I

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Speaker 1: don't see that much because I'm in school and the

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Speaker 1: time it's been reading my Bible. I trust this is

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Speaker 1: all part of God's plan for me, but it's really

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Speaker 1: discouraging to feel so angry, lost and lacking confidence. Any thoughts,

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Speaker 1: Thanks Granger, Love the show, Andrew, Andrew, thanks for emailing. Brother.

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Speaker 1: So what's happening to you is you were reborn, You

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Speaker 1: found a new love, you found salvation in Jesus. You

403
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 1: found out that you were now eternal minded. That you

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Speaker 1: realize now that Jesus defeated your sin at the cross.

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Speaker 1: A man came two thousand years ago, the son of God,

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Speaker 1: and he was persecuted, and he was ridiculed, and he

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Speaker 1: was killed. After living a perfect life and even performing

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Speaker 1: many miracles, healing people, healing the sick, rebuking demons that

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Speaker 1: were possessing people, he was ultimately killed in the worst

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Speaker 1: way possible, crucifixion three days later, just as he predicted,

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Speaker 1: just as he foretold, and just like so many prophets

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Speaker 1: before him foretold, he was resurrected. He came back to

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Speaker 1: life three days later. This happened in history with eyewitnesses,

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Speaker 1: hundreds of eyewitnesses that wrote the story down that were

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Speaker 1: inspired by God, that fulfilled ancient prophecy. And Jesus' message

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Speaker 1: was that through dying he would defeat sin, which is

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Speaker 1: the root problem within all of us. It's the problem

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Speaker 1: that we all struggle with. It's the time that we

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00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: all think there's something better for me, there's something wrong

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Speaker 1: with me, and Jesus says, yes, it's sin, and I've

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Speaker 1: defeated it for you. Believe, repent, and I'll forgive you,

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Speaker 1: and with me you'll have rest and eternal life. That's

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Speaker 1: the story of the Gospel. You were reborn through that story.

424
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: Now what's happening to you is called sanctification. So now

425
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: feeling you're feeling that the scales of your sin shedding

426
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 1: off you. So the old life you died to yourself

427
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 1: and now you're reborn. You have a new life, a

428
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: new purpose, a new direction. But it doesn't mean you

429
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: just lost the old skin. It's still on you. So

430
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 1: that's what you're talking about, your old life that has

431
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: set up right. So you're gonna it's not an instant

432
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: process that doesn't just leave you don't just wake up

433
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: and you have new everything. So you're slowly shedding this,

434
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: these scales are falling off of you. And sometimes that

435
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: process of sanctification is painful. It's painful in your case

436
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: because you're losing friends, you're losing your confidence, you're losing

437
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: the world that was set up around you. But it's

438
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: a good thing because it's a good thing for many reasons. One,

439
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: because you're saved. You're a Christian. Now you're a believer,

440
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: you have a purpose. You believe in a God that

441
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: has planned out your life for you, set apart good

442
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 1: works for you before you're even born. And now you

443
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: know that you're awake. Now you were asleep and now

444
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: you're awake. But that process of shedding, which is a

445
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: good thing, is going to lead you to new friends

446
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: and new desires and new hobbies and a new purpose.

447
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: And you're gonna find people around you that feel the

448
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: same way and say, was it hard when you were reborn?

449
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: Was it hard when you died to your old self?

450
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 1: And you go, yes, it was. But then I met you, guys,

451
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: and now you're my new friends, and we have so

452
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 1: much in common. And you're gonna find a small group,

453
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: and you're gonna find church and you're gonna go to

454
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: the pastor at church. You're gonna go. My name is Connor,

455
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 1: and I'm reborn, and I'm struggling a little bit with

456
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: my confidence because I thought I was this person that

457
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: was my identity. But now i have a new identity

458
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 1: in Christ, and so I'm going this direction and it

459
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: feels scary and it feels new, and the Pastor's gonna

460
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: go yeah, yeah, exactly. I was there too. Welcome to

461
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: the club. You have a whole life ahead of you,

462
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: so this sanctification process will last your whole life in mine.

463
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: But that's okay. Sometimes it's painful, but it's taking you

464
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: in a great direction. I'm so happy for you. I'm

465
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: gonna take a break and be right back. Podcast today

466
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: it's brought to you by Raycon. You know, Mother's Day's

467
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: coming up. I hope you remember that. You know, moms

468
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: are often one of the few people in our lives

469
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: that still leave voicemails on her phone or just call

470
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: to say hi. So this Mother's Day, make that mom

471
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: extra special and spoil her with a gift from the

472
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Speaker 1: quality Premium wireless audio courtesy of Raycon. Raycon Wireless earbuds

473
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474
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Speaker 1: of multitasking who need to keep their hands free. With Raycon,

475
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Speaker 1: they can stay entertained listening to their favorite podcast or music,

476
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Speaker 1: plus take phone calls with vivid voice technology, all hands free.

477
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Speaker 1: Raycon our user friendly for moms who are just switching

478
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Speaker 1: to wireless earbuds. Easy to set up, easy to use,

479
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Speaker 1: seamless bluetooth pairing. It's super simple. I love these things.

480
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: They come in a bunch of fun colors and options,

481
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Speaker 1: so you could find mom a color that suits her

482
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Speaker 1: personality and style, with optimized gel tips for the perfect

483
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Speaker 1: fit every time in your ears. These earbuds are so

484
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Speaker 1: comfortable and they will not budge. Trust me, I have

485
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: a hard time getting used to them. My mom is

486
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 1: not good with technology, trust me. If she could figure

487
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: this out easy, your mom can too. So for moms

488
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: on the go, Raycon's last eight hours of playtime in

489
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Speaker 1: thirty two hour battery life that lasts an entire trip

490
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: across the country whenever I'm on tour. Trust me, I've

491
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: done this ever since I've been reading about Raycon, I

492
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: have put them to the test, whether in the gym,

493
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 1: or in the rain, or loading in at soundcheck or

494
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: on a really long air flight. I love my Raycons,

495
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: So tell your mom how much you love her, and

496
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 1: go make sure she hears it in crystal clear audio

497
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,119
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498
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,280
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499
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: That's buy Raycon dot Com slash Granger podcast. Also brought

500
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: to you all by Movement. That's MVMT. You've heard me

501
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 1: talk about this before. Awesome watches, awesome glasses. In fact,

502
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: I'm wearing the blue light glasses right now. They work

503
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 1: perfectly when I'm doing after Midnight or doing the podcast

504
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: or editing music, look at my screen all the time.

505
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: They help reduce that eye strain for me. So I'm

506
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: also wearing one of their watches. In fact, I wear

507
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: all of Movement stuff. I love their field watches. They

508
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: look so country and they're really rugged too. So you

509
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: got to take this out. Movement, like I said, has

510
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: expanded into blue light glasses, minimalist jewelry, and more styles

511
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Speaker 1: essential that just won't break the bank. They're just not

512
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: that expensive, but they look expensive. All designed out of

513
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: the headquarters in California. Now you're also the first to

514
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: know that they're having a huge sight wide sale for

515
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Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Their prices are slashed up to forty percent

516
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Speaker 1: off from April twenty first to May the sixth to

517
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Speaker 1: make sure you can get the perfect gift from Mom.

518
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: Beautiful watches to find eighteen care at Jewelry. This is

519
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Speaker 1: quality modern watches for a really good price, really durable

520
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Speaker 1: glasses with UV rated polarized lenses and timeless styles of

521
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: premium blue light glasses like I'm wearing right now not

522
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 1: only make you look great, but they also filter ninety

523
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: percent of the most tense blue light rays from your

524
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: digital screen so you could scroll comfortably. And like I said,

525
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: they're also great gifts. So shop up to forty percent

526
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: off from Mother's Day and save big on the perfect

527
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: gift for Mom. Join the movement by going to mvmt

528
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: dot com slash granger right now enjoy up to forty

529
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: percent off. Again, that's mvmt dot com slash granger. And

530
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: speaking of Mother's Day, if you want to get a

531
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: shout out from me personally a video message that you

532
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: want to send to your mom or anyone else, Hey,

533
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: go to Cameo dot com slash granger Smith you could

534
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: find me there. You could also download the Cameo app.

535
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: It's super easy and I'll make a personalized video message

536
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: from you and I'll read it however you want me

537
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: to read it, So go to cameo dot com slash

538
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: Granger Smith. Okay, diving into the next question. Here it

539
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 1: says subject line question if you could answer it in

540
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: your next email. Okay, here we go. You got it, buddy,

541
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: Hey Granger Money, Edwin he Ginger. My name is Edwin.

542
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm seventeen years old and there's a girl that I

543
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: know that I want to tell her how I feel,

544
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: but I'm so scared of rejection and fear that my

545
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: heart will be destroyed again, and I don't want to

546
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 1: feel that pain again. People that have listened to this

547
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 1: podcast for a long time know the many directions I

548
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: can go with this. Like I could tell you, Edwin,

549
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: I could tell you should never live a life being

550
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: scared of the pain. You should take the dance every time.

551
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: You shouldn't. You shouldn't be so guarded that you're you're

552
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: scared to step out and try something new, because you're

553
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: gonna miss out and you're going to live a very

554
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: boring life if you never do that. You've also heard

555
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: me tell the stories of building up confidence and being

556
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: vulnerable to the girl walking up to her and say,

557
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: I got to tell you. My name is Edwin, and

558
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous right now, being as vulnerable as possible.

559
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: I'm really nervous right now. But I just think you're

560
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: I think you're really beautiful and I've wanted to tell

561
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: you that. And I'm sorry if I'm stuttering, but I

562
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: see you every day and you make me nervous. But

563
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 1: I wanted you to know. Okay, I've told this story before,

564
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: but Edwin, I also want to tell you a story.

565
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: I want to take you in another direction because there's

566
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: something underlying here that you haven't mentioned. But you're saying,

567
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: I fear that my heart will be destroyed again, and

568
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel that pain again, meaning probably

569
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 1: recently you had a heartbreak and it crushed you. And

570
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: so that's why I'm going to tell you right now, Edwin,

571
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: it's too soon. It's too soon. This girl that you're seeing,

572
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: you're seventeen. There's going to be another one. I promise you.

573
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: There's three and a half billion girls on this planet.

574
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: It's not the last time you're seventeen. It's not the

575
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: last time you're going to see a girl and feel

576
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: really attracted to her and really want to talk to her. Okay,

577
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: the breaks, you're fresh out of something, You're fresh out

578
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 1: of some kind of pain, and now is the time

579
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: to be content with who you are, edwin, to be

580
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: content in your singleness. Now, to hang with your guy friends,

581
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 1: to lean into your hobbies. Don't get into this right now,

582
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: it's too soon. That's the feeling I get. If we

583
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: were sitting around a campfire, I think I could pull

584
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: this out of you, and I think you could tell

585
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: me that. You would probably say that four months ago

586
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: you got out of a relationship and she crushed you.

587
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 1: So then I would tell you, buddy, it's not the

588
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: time to get set up to be crushed again. Now

589
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: it's time to pump the brakes to be single and

590
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: to find contentment in that. Okay, You're not going to

591
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: let a girl define you. You don't need to be

592
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: in a relationship to be whole or complete. That is

593
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: a Hollywood lie. You are complete already the way you are.

594
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: You have a full heart and every full organ, and

595
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: you have two arms and two legs. You don't need

596
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: a girl to complete who you are, so don't do

597
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: it right now. It's not time. This feels like a rebound.

598
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 1: It feels like it's too soon. I'm making some assumptions here,

599
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: but that's what that's what I'm getting from this email. Okay,

600
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: not now, not now. I should take some pressure off

601
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,919
Speaker 1: of you. Go back into the hobbies that you were doing.

602
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: Flipping through here, that says advice for my brother. Hey,

603
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 1: grangear'd like to stay anonymous. My brother twenty one and

604
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 1: his girlfriend nineteen have been dating for a little over

605
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 1: a year now, and they've been living together for the

606
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: past four months. Since they've been living together, they've been

607
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 1: fighting a lot more lately because she doesn't know, she

608
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 1: doesn't help pay the bills, and she doesn't cook or

609
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 1: clean even though she's home all day and she doesn't

610
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: have a job. My brother works all day at our

611
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: family farm, usually from nine am to seven to ten pm,

612
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 1: sometimes earlier and later, so when he comes home he

613
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: just wants to relax, but he has to clean and

614
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: make food. I was wondering if there's any advice you

615
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: can give me that I could tell him in this situation.

616
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: Thanks for your time, I love your podcast, Anonymous. Yeah, yeah,

617
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:11,439
Speaker 1: I could help you. Anonymous. Well, I wish, I wish

618
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: I was talking to your brother. But twenty one, she's nineteen.

619
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: This is not a good situation. Okay, you can't be

620
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: living together, you can't be playing house right now. You're

621
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 1: not married. If you were married, I would have a

622
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 1: completely different set of advice for your brother, right this

623
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: would be a completely different conversation. But he's talking about

624
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,959
Speaker 1: a girlfriend that doesn't have a ring on her finger,

625
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: and there's no kids in the house, and he's already

626
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: being bothered because she's not working and she's not cleaning.

627
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying that this just does not

628
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: make sense. You're asking me how to help fix their

629
00:35:56,480 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: relationship when they're not married. They're going about this backwards.

630
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 1: They're already playing house. It's time for him to move out,

631
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 1: and he's probably not going to because I'm assuming he

632
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: didn't email me. You did, because you see the problem

633
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: more than he does, and he loves her. But he's

634
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 1: got to move out, man, And this is for anyone

635
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: else listening. It's not a time to be moving in.

636
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 1: And he's working all these hours, and he's working fourteen

637
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: hour days and comes home and his girlfriend hasn't done anything.

638
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 1: She doesn't have a job, she's just mooching off this.

639
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: It's time. She's nineteen. He needs to kick her out.

640
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: She needs to get a job. And I'm not totally

641
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 1: blaming her because he's allowing this to happen, but that's

642
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 1: just not the way we're set up. Humans are not

643
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: set up to do this. And we think that we

644
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: think that we are, and we watch Hollywood movies and

645
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: we think that this is this what you're supposed to do.

646
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: But no, everybody at your family farm, I'm assuming your

647
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: dad or your grandpa or other family members are involved

648
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 1: here in this work need to get around him and say, man,

649
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:09,319
Speaker 1: it's time for her to move out. It's time. You

650
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: could still date or you could still have a girlfriend,

651
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: but it's time to move out. Is this is not

652
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: the right situation, This is not the right environment to

653
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: eventually decide you want to get married and then have

654
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,800
Speaker 1: kids and you're already seeing these red flags. No boom,

655
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: that's an easy answers. That is the easiest answer. No

656
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: move out. Flipping around here, subject client says, repairing relationship

657
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: with Jesus and a new baby Hey, my name is Noah,

658
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: and me and my girlfriend are expecting our first child together.

659
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: I have no doubt that I want to spend the

660
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: rest of my life with her. However, we aren't engaged

661
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: because in preparing for the baby has become her main focus.

662
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 1: I've had a difficult relationship with God in the past,

663
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,439
Speaker 1: but my eyes have been opened up recently. My only

664
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: real struggle is going back to attending church with a

665
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,240
Speaker 1: pregnant girlfriend that I'm not married to. So I'm excited

666
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,839
Speaker 1: to be a dad and I love this baby more

667
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: than I ever thought I could, and she's not even

668
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: here yet. I'm just worried that having a baby out

669
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: of wedlock could be a hurdle in our relationship with

670
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: God and the church. She wants to go back to

671
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 1: church as well, but she has similar reservations like me.

672
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 1: Thank you for answering. We're a huge fan of your music.

673
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 1: Dismissed on the podcast. Hmm, it's interesting, back to back questions.

674
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: It's interesting. You know how I'm going to answer this, Noah,

675
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, thank you for Thank you,

676
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: dude for trusting me with this, and thanks for emailing,

677
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: and thanks for listening and watching and I'm gonna tell

678
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: you straight up, you already know my answer. You've if

679
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: you've listened to my podcast, you already know my answer, right.

680
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: And I appreciate you trusting me with this, But you

681
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: also answered yourself. You here's what you said. Let me

682
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: read your word. I'm just worried that having a baby

683
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: out of wedlock could put a could be a hurdle

684
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 1: in my relationship with God and the church. Why do

685
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: you think that? Maybe because that's what God says in

686
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: his word. See, God sets this up right. We have

687
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: the Bible as a roadmap for us, and it's set

688
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: up not to be a hindrance to us or a

689
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 1: problem for us. Because he's putting restrictions. He's putting handcuffs

690
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: on a fun life, on a good life. God is

691
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 1: not putting handcuffs on our life. He's setting these these

692
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: standards for us to follow so that we have a

693
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 1: better life. Why how does he know that? Because he

694
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: created us. It's like you buy a truck from Ford,

695
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: and Ford says, here's your truck. This is a gas

696
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: powered F one fifty. By the way, don't put diesel

697
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:02,919
Speaker 1: in it now. If you do, that's not that big

698
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: a deal to Ford. But they know because they made it,

699
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: they created it, they built the truck that it needs gasoline,

700
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: and so they say, don't put diesel in it. And

701
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: then you go out and you put diesel in it,

702
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: and it breaks down, and you go, why did Ford

703
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,879
Speaker 1: tell me that? I don't understand. Ford told you that

704
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: for your own good, not for God's good, not for

705
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: Ford's good. God is already good, right, He doesn't need anything.

706
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 1: He is complete already, He is good already. But he

707
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: makes he makes these guidelines for us so that we

708
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: could feel more content with him, and we could be

709
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,760
Speaker 1: more satisfied in our life, and we could have less hurdles.

710
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: That's your word, hurdle. Having a baby out of wedlock

711
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,959
Speaker 1: could put a hurdle in a relationship. Now, here's the deal.

712
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. Here's the good news. Noah, you could

713
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: fix this right now. The baby's not a problem. A

714
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 1: baby is never a problem. A baby is never an

715
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 1: accident to God. A baby is never a mistake to God.

716
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: It's always has a purpose, right, So there's nothing bad

717
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 1: about the baby. It's how you're going about planning on

718
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 1: raising it. Your words at the very beginning of your

719
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 1: email say, we aren't engaged because we're preparing for the baby,

720
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: which has become our main purpose, our main focus. Imagine

721
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 1: this baby thirty years from now, and you say, the

722
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: baby says, the man says, why did why did you

723
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: not marry mom when I was a baby because we

724
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 1: were focusing on having you. That doesn't compute because what

725
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: a kid needs is mom and dad. Secure. It's like

726
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 1: when you're in an airplane and they say, when oxygen

727
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 1: mask comes down, right, secure yourself first. Put it on

728
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 1: yourself first, not your kid and the person next to you.

729
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: Put it on yourself. Why because when you get the

730
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: oxygen mask and you put it on, now you could

731
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 1: focus because you're breathing. You're good. Now you could actually

732
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 1: help others instead of helping others while you're passing out

733
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: because you don't have oxygen. That's why the airlines say

734
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: that put the oxygen mask on you first. So you first, buddy,

735
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: which is your relationship with your girlfriend, secure that first.

736
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: Then focus on the baby, because if you don't, you're

737
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 1: not going to have the oxygen to take care of

738
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 1: the baby. Does that make sense? So here's this is

739
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: where it gets easy. This answer is so easy. You

740
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: want to go to church. You're worried about what God

741
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: will think of you and a pregnant girlfriend. You know

742
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,919
Speaker 1: how to fix it. Go to the courthouse the day

743
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: you hear this podcast. Noah ironic name by the way,

744
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: go to the courthouse today or tomorrow and get that

745
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 1: piece of paper. Marry this girl. You said, you said,

746
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 1: I have no doubt. I want to spend the rest

747
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: of my life with her. Then what are you waiting on? Bro?

748
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: Wrap it up? Go get the paper. Put the ring

749
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: on her finger. I don't care if it's a plastic

750
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: ring from Ye apparel. I don't care what the ring

751
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: looks like. You could get a ring. You could save

752
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: up and get a nice engagement ring. Later. You could

753
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: have a big party, invite all your family and all

754
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: your friends and celebrate later. But right now, marry this girl.

755
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: Put the rubber ring on her finger, Put the silicon

756
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 1: ring on her finger, and get this done. You were

757
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: gonna be so that. This is gonna let your heart

758
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 1: be free. You're gonna sleep at night and go We

759
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 1: did it. We're right now, We're on a good path. Now,

760
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: no more regret, no more worry, no more shame, no

761
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: more vulnerable. You got it. Go do this, Okay, don't

762
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: worry about what America tells you you need to have

763
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: any long engagement. You got to get the perfect church

764
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: and she's got to get the perfect dress. This is

765
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 1: not going to happen. Now there's a baby coming. That's

766
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 1: not going to happen. I don't care. You shouldn't care.

767
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. I barely even remember

768
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: my wedding. It was thirteen years ago. I remember Amber

769
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: walking down the aisle, and I remember it was a

770
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: very special day, but I don't remember any other details.

771
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,479
Speaker 1: It's not that big a deal. This is a new

772
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 1: thing in our culture to have these huge, perfect weddings

773
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: and invite everybody. You've seen braveheart right. They got married

774
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 1: in the woods with one preacher. Get a preacher to

775
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: come to your house. Whatever, Get it done. Okay, Noah,

776
00:44:54,480 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: get it done. Next question says relationship. Hell, pay granger.

777
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: My name is Colby, I'm nineteen, I'm from Montgomery. I

778
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: know you say every relationship is the same when they're

779
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: asking for advice, but I really think this one is different. Okay,

780
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 1: challenge accepted. The girl I want to see is an

781
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 1: EMT and a firefighter. She's also has very little time off.

782
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 1: I've seen her a few times and I know she's

783
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: into me, but I don't know if she's flaking when

784
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 1: I ask her out or if she's genuinely busy. Any

785
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: advice would be great. Okay, let me recap this colby

786
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: nineteen years old from Montgomery. You really like this girl.

787
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: She's amazing and she's going to be twenty in a

788
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: couple months. She's an EMT and a firefighter, and she's

789
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: very busy. You've only seen her a few times, and

790
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: you know that she's into you, but you don't know

791
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 1: if she's flaking when you ask her out or if

792
00:45:55,560 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 1: she's actually busy. Okay, got it to me. The way

793
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: I would approach this this is this is called courting right,

794
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: and this is the thing that was before our time.

795
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: It was a really big deal. Let me tell you

796
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 1: a story of my grandfather on my mother's side. He

797
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 1: saw my grandmother and she was walking down the street,

798
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: and this was in the the thirties. He saw her

799
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: and he told his friends he said, I'm gonna marry

800
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: that girl. So he went up to her and he said,

801
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna marry you one day, and she said, I've

802
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: got a boyfriend. Sorry, and she kept walking and he

803
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,800
Speaker 1: went and he found out where she lived. Maybe creepy

804
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 1: asked her dad and he said, I want to marry

805
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 1: your daughter and he said no, I don't think so

806
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: she's got a boyfriend. So then he saw her that

807
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 1: weekend at the little street dance they had. This was

808
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 1: in a little bitty town in West Texas. He saw

809
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 1: it the street dance and he came up to her

810
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 1: again and he said, what's it gonna take. I really

811
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: like you. Can I dance with you? And she's like fine,

812
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: one dance okay. So fast forward a few weeks. He

813
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: just kept this up so that Corey, I mean Colby,

814
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 1: this is what you do. This is how this is

815
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: called courting. So she's an EMT. She's busy. Tell her

816
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: straight up, I like you, let's go on a date.

817
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 1: She says, I'm busy, and you go cool, how about Wednesday?

818
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: And she goes, I'm working Wednesday, and you go cool.

819
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: And then you go find her and you say how

820
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: about Friday. She goes, I'm working Friday too. Actually, okay, hey,

821
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,399
Speaker 1: let me know when you have time because I really

822
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: want to see you, and she goes, I'm just really busy.

823
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: Now you can get a hint that she doesn't like you.

824
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: But you told me that, you said that she's into you.

825
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 1: Court her, pursue her. Girls want to be pursued. They

826
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: need to be pursued. Tell her what's it gonna take.

827
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: I know you're busy. How about how this five minutes?

828
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,919
Speaker 1: I want to see you for five minutes? How about

829
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: what time do you get off work? When I got

830
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: off work at ten pm? How About I meet you

831
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: at ten pm and we and I'll bring you a

832
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: sonic route forty four Cherry Limemad at ten to ten

833
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: oh five, and we'll have a Cherry Limemaid together. Tell

834
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: her that find a way, find a way and if

835
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: straight up she says, no, I actually don't want to

836
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: see you. There's your hint. Move on. But I'm telling

837
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: you Colby, to pursue her, to find space and be

838
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: patient with her. It seems like in this this day

839
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 1: and age we go. I don't know, she's kind of flaking.

840
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:44,919
Speaker 1: She said, no, So I'm out. I think I'm out.

841
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,280
Speaker 1: Whatever happened to the pursuit, whatever happened to courting, whatever

842
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: happened to believing in something and going after it and

843
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: being rejected over and over and over until you finally

844
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: get a yes, until you finally get her to say, fine, Sunday,

845
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm open Sunday and you go, great, let's go see

846
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: a movie. She goes, I don't have a car, and

847
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: you go, I'll pick you up six o'clock Sunday. I'll

848
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: beat your house and then see how it goes. Pursue

849
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 1: her subject line. Next one says laziness. Hey Granger, I'm

850
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: Ryan from Missouri. I have had issues with laziness and

851
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: honestly just not caring about anything anymore. I'm in college

852
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 1: and I'm failing a class because I think to myself, oh,

853
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: I'll get it later. And then in regards to the caring,

854
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: I just don't understand why. But it took my friends

855
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: and family a month and a half to drag me

856
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,320
Speaker 1: out of the house to actually do something I really

857
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. Thanks for reading if you get the chance, Ryan,

858
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 1: Ryan shout out to Missouri. Thanks for the question. Laziness sloth, sloth?

859
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 1: You know that's uh. It's one of the deadly sins.

860
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: And I don't blame you. We've all through this, we've

861
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: all felt this. This is this is a season. I

862
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: do want to say before I dig into this, I

863
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: do want to say that sometimes this is a medical,

864
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: medical condition that a doctor could help you with. So

865
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: I do want you to consider that maybe you should

866
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: bring it up to a doctor. Hey, doctor, I have

867
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: no energy. I don't feel like I need to do anything.

868
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 1: I can't I can't be motivated to do anything. Okay, well,

869
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 1: let's do a blood test. Like that's something. I got

870
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: a feeling, though, Ryan, I got a feeling that's not you.

871
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 1: I got a feeling there's more going on. You need

872
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: to you need something to shake you up. Something has

873
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: to change. You're like a glass with with glitter in it,

874
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: right as we're all, we're all like a glass of

875
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 1: water with glitter in it, and eventually all that glitter

876
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: just goes and falls to the bottom, and then the

877
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 1: glass is clear, and you've got to get something to

878
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: shake it up and get that all that good or

879
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: spinning again, because one thing leads to another and then

880
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: and then you get motivated again. One thing to do.

881
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,720
Speaker 1: And you've emailed me, so you recognize there's a problem.

882
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: But you know one thing I would do if I

883
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 1: were you, If I was your friend. I would say, Okay,

884
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 1: let's start looking at some of the things that are important,

885
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 1: like the class. You don't want to fail the class.

886
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 1: So I would go straight up, this takes courage, Ryan,

887
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: This takes courage. But I would go to the professor

888
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 1: in the class and I would say, my name is Ryan.

889
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,360
Speaker 1: I am struggling in this class, and I feel like

890
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: I feel like mentally I'm getting it and I could

891
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 1: do it, but I'm having trouble being motivated enough to

892
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 1: do it. So here's some steps I'm gonna take. I

893
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 1: want to I'm wanna sit on the front row, and

894
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: I want you to help me stay accountable because I want,

895
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 1: I really want to do this. I want this to

896
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: matter to me, and so I'm gonna I want you

897
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: to keep me accountable. I'm gonna sit right in front

898
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 1: of you on the front row, and I'm gonna watch you,

899
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: and I want you to watch me because this matters

900
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 1: to me and I don't want this to be lost

901
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: on me. Do you have enough courage to do that? Right?

902
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, Do you care enough about

903
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 1: the class to do something like that. If the answer

904
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 1: is no, then we need a greater shakeup. We need

905
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 1: something bigger. You know what, I would say something like this,

906
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 1: Marine Corps Army, time to pack up everything. You want

907
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: to shake that glass up, you want to get that

908
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,760
Speaker 1: all that glitter flowing again. Go to the Army recruiter,

909
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 1: Marine Corps recruiter and say, my name is Ryan, and

910
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: I need to shake up my life. I'm feeling lazy,

911
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm feeling I'm feeling complacent, I'm feeling not motivated. And

912
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: that recruiter is gonna go. We'll get you motivated. We'll

913
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 1: shake it up for you. No, no problem, Sign on

914
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 1: the dotted line, buddy. So let me ask you again, Ryan,

915
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 1: are you do you have enough courage to do that?

916
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,800
Speaker 1: How bad do you want to change? And this is

917
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: to anyone listening. Whatever you want in life, I could

918
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: tell how bad you want it by how it is

919
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 1: manifesting in your life currently. Like, for instance, if you

920
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 1: say I really want to be a good father, I

921
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: really want to be a good father, well I could tell,

922
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 1: and anyone around you can tell how bad you want

923
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 1: to be a good father by your kids. We could

924
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: look at that. If you want to say I want

925
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: to be the best at my job, I could tell,

926
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: and your boss could tell how bad you really want

927
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 1: to be the best at your job, by how you're

928
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: currently performing at your job, because if you're not, then

929
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: I'll go, well, you really don't want to be the

930
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,399
Speaker 1: best at your job. You really don't want to be

931
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: a great father because you're not doing anything, so you

932
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: really don't. So don't say you really want it. So

933
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: to you, Ryan, I say, how bad do you want

934
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: to fix this problem? What extreme measures will you take

935
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 1: to shake your life up? Because I'm giving you some extremes.

936
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 1: I'm saying, drop everything, go to the Marine Corps, go

937
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,879
Speaker 1: to the army. They will shake you up. They will

938
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 1: keep you accountable. Another thing to do if you don't

939
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 1: want to go to that kind of extreme, get a

940
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 1: good group of guys, an accountability group, and go to

941
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 1: them and go, Guys, i'm feeling lazy. I need you

942
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 1: guys to help me, and they'll go, yeah, let's do it. Well,

943
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 1: we'll keep each other accountable, right, keep an eye on me.

944
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: We can't be trusted on our own. I think you're

945
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 1: too comfortable. If you're in a class in college and

946
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 1: you're failing because you're thinking I'll get to it later.

947
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: Something tells me, buddy, I'm gonna say something to you,

948
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: and please don't take offense to this, but I'm gonna

949
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 1: tell you. Something tells me you're not paying for that

950
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 1: class somebody else's. I don't want to. I don't want

951
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: to drag you through the dirt too much. But I

952
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 1: think if you were paying for that class, if that

953
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: was your money, and you worked for that money to

954
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 1: pay for that college class, you sure wouldn't fail it

955
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: because you just think you'll get to it later. You'll

956
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 1: think I paid for this class. I'm studying. I'm gonna

957
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:35,439
Speaker 1: get this done and I'm definitely gonna pass it, cause

958
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: I gotta do better. If that's the case, if someone

959
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 1: else is paying for it, maybe your parents, and you're

960
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: failing it, I gotta tell you, man, you're failing them too.

961
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 1: How does that make you feel it's time to shake

962
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: things up. There's a lot of ways to do it.

963
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: Email me back, we'll talk about it. I appreciate you, buddy,

964
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 1: I appreciate all y'all. Thank you for emailing. I love

965
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. It's fun and we'll see you next Monday.

966
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I

967
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out

968
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

969
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

970
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

971
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

972
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

973
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yi