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Speaker 1: Welcome to Ruthie's Table four, a production of iHeartRadio and

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Speaker 1: Adamized Studios.

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Speaker 2: In September, the River Cafe will be thirty six years old,

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Speaker 2: and one of the great joys of having a restaurant

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Speaker 2: for so long is watching the second generation and now

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Speaker 2: even a third generation of her early customers grow up.

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Speaker 2: Adwa's parents, Charles Boa and Camilla Luther, have been part

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Speaker 2: of the River Cafe family since reopened, and ad was

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Speaker 2: gone from being a young child ordering pasta, butter and

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Speaker 2: cheese and then playing in the garden space outside with

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Speaker 2: her friends to a formidable woman focused on the political

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Speaker 2: and social issues relevant today. After her own struggles with

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Speaker 2: mental health and to support young women's wellbeing, she founded

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Speaker 2: the organization Girls Talk, providing a safe space for girls

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Speaker 2: to access resources, share experiences, create community, and feel less alone,

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Speaker 2: a place to escape the chaos of the every day.

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Speaker 2: I think a beautiful phrase today. Ed was just come

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Speaker 2: from the kitchen grilling scallops and frying zucchini, and she's

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Speaker 2: going to tell us what she learned and read the

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Speaker 2: recipe so you can cook this at home. It's both

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Speaker 2: moving and exciting for me to have ed. We're here oh, oh,

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Speaker 2: so nice. So you've been in the kitchen then in

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Speaker 2: the River Cafee kitchen, which do you remember coming here.

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Speaker 3: All the time all the time Ronnie and Johnathan? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: they used to take us all the time.

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Speaker 2: And you've just been in the kitchen, and so you

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Speaker 2: watched your request for the recipe with scallops grilled scallops

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Speaker 2: with chili and zucchini.

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Speaker 4: My name's Adriana and I'm a chepher at the River

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Speaker 4: Cafe and today I'm cooking some scallops on the grilling.

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Speaker 3: That now, Joan, I'm not cooking anything.

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Speaker 4: You can cook it with me if you want.

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Speaker 5: Okay, cool.

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Speaker 4: We put them in the center of the grill because

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Speaker 4: that's the hardest place.

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Speaker 5: How long do you have to leave them on forard Not.

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Speaker 4: Very long at all. So you just keep them, don't

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Speaker 4: move them around, keep them where they are, and then

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Speaker 4: they'll start kind.

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Speaker 3: Of coming off.

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Speaker 4: You can kind of look at the bottom and see

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Speaker 4: how they're cooking, because if you move them too quickly

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Speaker 4: then they'll stick.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, and.

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Speaker 4: Then we're gonna get some pretty may I think, Harry,

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Speaker 4: you're doing pretty right? Can you drop some pretty for us?

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Speaker 2: So we have two recipes one. I think it's really

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Speaker 2: for the batter for the zucchini, and then quite simple the.

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Speaker 3: Scales scallops and zucchini pretty four ripe zucchini, one litera

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Speaker 3: sunflower oil for the batter. One cup all purpose flour,

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Speaker 3: three tablespoons extra virgin olive oil. Get always get really

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Speaker 3: confused that the tablespoon and teaspoon.

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Speaker 2: There is a difference, like.

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Speaker 5: The way it's written.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's tablespoon tsp.

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Speaker 3: Is three tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, three tablespoons warm water,

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Speaker 3: three egg whites, scallops, sixteen shells sea scallops, two lemons,

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Speaker 3: extra virgin olival Cut the zucchini into ovals, then into

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Speaker 3: thick matchsticks for the batter. Sift the flour into a bowl,

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Speaker 3: making a well in the center.

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Speaker 5: Pour in the olive oil and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Loosen the paste by slowly adding enough warm water to

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Speaker 3: make a batter the consistency of heavy cream.

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Speaker 5: Leave for thirty minutes.

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Speaker 3: Heat the oil in a high sided pan to three

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Speaker 3: hundred and seventy five degrees. Beat the egg whites until

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Speaker 3: stiff and fold into the batter. Dip zucchini, then fry

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Speaker 3: in batches in hot oil until golden and crisp. Serve

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Speaker 3: immediately scallops. Heat the grill. Season the scallops very generously

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Speaker 3: on both sides with salt and pepper. Actually she said

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Speaker 3: only salt and then pepper at the end.

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Speaker 2: Don't put the pepper on, Yeah, don't, Okay.

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Speaker 3: It burns quickly, so put the pepper on after place

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Speaker 3: on the grill until lightly brown and crisp. Then turn

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Speaker 3: over the grill. On the other side. The scallop should

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Speaker 3: be tender on the inside and crisp on the surface.

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Speaker 3: Serve with lemon and a drizzle of olive oil. And

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Speaker 3: I had some chili online, so.

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Speaker 5: If you have to place it all up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the really fun part about working here is

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Speaker 4: that you get to plate all of your.

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Speaker 5: Food because well, who would usually do.

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Speaker 4: That in like another so you bring it up to

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Speaker 4: the past, and maybe someone on the past would plate it,

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Speaker 4: but here you get to do it and it gives

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Speaker 4: you I mean, for me, it's really satisfying.

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Speaker 2: Water.

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Speaker 5: Wow, I'm coming here for dinner.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about going to Vogue with Edward, because we did.

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Speaker 2: When Edward Nfl became the editor, we did the party.

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Speaker 2: Remember that we had a party for him. I was

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Speaker 2: a great party. You were the cover for his first year.

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Speaker 3: That was mad, that Vogue party. I remember that like

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Speaker 3: it was yesterday. I remember us driving here and I,

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Speaker 3: you know, Edward, and I still laugh about it now.

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Speaker 5: It's like it wasn't naivety.

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Speaker 3: I think it was just this we were just doing

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Speaker 3: something that felt very special to both of us. It

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Speaker 3: was like this, we were embarking on this new journey,

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Speaker 3: and it wasn't necessarily that we were. We were completely

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Speaker 3: naive to how the world was going to embrace it,

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Speaker 3: you know, not only just people in fashion but worldwide.

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Speaker 3: You know, it really went you know what I mean, I think.

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Speaker 3: And so as we kind of pulled up. I pulled up,

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Speaker 3: I can't remember who I was in the car with me.

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Speaker 3: It was like my mom and dad and system. We

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Speaker 3: pulled up the Shepherd's Bush roundabout and it was projected

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Speaker 3: on Shepherd's Bush round about.

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Speaker 5: What the hell is going on?

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Speaker 3: And I looked on my phone and it was just

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Speaker 3: like going mad and I actually like broke out into hives.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, this is so much.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know how to deal with this situation.

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Speaker 3: I pulled up the River Cafe and Edwin and I

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Speaker 3: just giggled.

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Speaker 5: We could not stop laughing.

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Speaker 3: I think we were both so overwhelmed by what had

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Speaker 3: happened that we kind of just like could not stop laughing.

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Speaker 5: It was mad. It still feels really mad.

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Speaker 2: We all had Ravioli. We had this long discussion before

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Speaker 2: whether all the Vogue people, the models and the actresses

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Speaker 2: and the young beauties of today would actually have gluten carbs,

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Speaker 2: cheese butter, and whether we would serve it. And we did,

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Speaker 2: and bo was actually really cool because we said, do

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Speaker 2: you want to find out what people won't do they get?

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Speaker 2: Now we're done with that. We're done with you know,

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Speaker 2: if you have a food preference, we're just going to

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Speaker 2: do the menu and what they eat. They and everybody

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Speaker 2: had reveally, and everybody, a lot of people had seconds

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Speaker 2: of REVIALI and yet the whole issue with the being

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Speaker 2: a model about your body, talk about being a woman

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Speaker 2: in a profession that requires you to be a certain shape.

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Speaker 3: Beside, I think I don't remember being worried. I think

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Speaker 3: there were moments when I was at school where I

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Speaker 3: was kind of worried about what I looked like. Sometimes

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Speaker 3: I didn't I wasn't at a girls' school. But you know,

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Speaker 3: I lived in a house full of women, so sometimes

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Speaker 3: when someone would get a bit like weird with food

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Speaker 3: or they'd have you know, issues, it kind of sometimes

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Speaker 3: bleeds into everyone else within the community, do you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean?

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Speaker 5: We see that all the time.

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Speaker 3: And I think when I started modeling, I don't again

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Speaker 3: remember feeling that pressured about it. I think I just

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Speaker 3: felt like incredibly painful in my own body in general,

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Speaker 3: So it wasn't necessarily like kind of weight related. I

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Speaker 3: think there's always been like parts of my body that

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Speaker 3: I haven't like loved, you know what I mean, And

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Speaker 3: I've had to grow to love the.

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Speaker 2: Are you the kind of person that can eat but

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Speaker 2: not gain weight, Yeah, because I've always done lots and

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Speaker 2: lots of sports. But were other models that you were with?

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Speaker 2: What did you feel that to be a model you

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Speaker 2: had to be a Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I got weird with food for a period of time

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Speaker 3: actually when I got sober, and they call it that transference,

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Speaker 3: you know, I think I was just trying to control

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Speaker 3: something else.

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Speaker 5: In my life.

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Speaker 3: So I got a bit weird with food when I

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Speaker 3: was about twenty two. I think it was just control,

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Speaker 3: to be quite honest, and I think, wait for me,

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Speaker 3: you know, if I'm myself ale with anxiety, you know,

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Speaker 3: and so when I'm anxious, it just falls off. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm not the type of person sometimes I am eating,

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Speaker 3: but it literally just falls off all the time. So

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Speaker 3: sometimes I haven't even been like aware of like dropping way.

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Speaker 5: I think.

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Speaker 3: I've always done a lot of exercise and a kind

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Speaker 3: of now do pilates, So I used to build a

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Speaker 3: lot of muscle. So my body has changed, like you know,

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Speaker 3: over the course of like many years, I think, And

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Speaker 3: so I think, I think when I got started modeling properly,

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Speaker 3: I decided there was a part of me that had

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Speaker 3: that to do it, to really kind of walk into

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Speaker 3: it again, I had to take on. It was almost

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Speaker 3: like a It wasn't necessarily that I felt like that,

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Speaker 3: but I had to be like, this is who I am,

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Speaker 3: do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: Like take it or leave it, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to be sucked into this idea that

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Speaker 3: I should be thinner or look a different sort of

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Speaker 3: way for you to kind of appreciate me or want me.

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Speaker 5: So I had to and that's.

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Speaker 3: Not exactly how I felt all the time, but I

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Speaker 3: had to sort of fake it to make it so

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Speaker 3: it wasn't necessarily I think I've always I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I was speaking on my own podcast about this the

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Speaker 3: other day. I think I wonder if my relationship with

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Speaker 3: myself will ever be.

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Speaker 5: What I wanted to be.

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Speaker 3: Whilst I model, I don't know if my I have

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Speaker 3: a to a certain extent a healthy relationship with myself,

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Speaker 3: but I wonder if my relationship with my body will

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Speaker 3: ever be what I wanted to be as long as

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of within the industry. And yes, it has

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Speaker 3: changed like drastically, do you know what I mean? The

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Speaker 3: likes of amazing people spearheading different sorts of movements. But

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Speaker 3: you know, we only have to kind of look at

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Speaker 3: certain photos or fashion shows and we see the kind

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Speaker 3: of the pressure that's.

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Speaker 2: Playing, and I almost find it painful. I haven't been

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Speaker 2: to that many catwalk shows. I think it probably when

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Speaker 2: you see, you know how and kind of serious and

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Speaker 2: all that. You know, I know, it's there to just

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Speaker 2: showcase the clothes, and so it's opening at a hanger,

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Speaker 2: but there is something as a woman to see women

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Speaker 2: doing that job is a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And also when you know that someone's like kind

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Speaker 3: of unwell, yeah, whatever that looks like for different people.

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Speaker 3: When you know someone's kind of suffering with and you know,

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Speaker 3: disordered eating, but they are praised and celebrated within the

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Speaker 3: industry and they work even more. It's that in itself

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Speaker 3: is an uncomfortable thing to get your head around. I

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Speaker 3: think that's where sometimes the pressure for me lies. It

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Speaker 3: isn't that I want to be onwell, it's just the

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Speaker 3: fact that I see people doing well because of it,

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Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? And that's a that's

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Speaker 3: that's a mad thing to get your head around, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. And it's and I don't think

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Speaker 3: that kind of breeds healthy ways of looking yourself. You know,

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Speaker 3: if you're being told that you are better for being thin, and.

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Speaker 2: I suppose the other you know, we haven't talked about

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Speaker 2: We've talked about body image and modeling. We haven't talked

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Speaker 2: about race. And I think that there is also the

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Speaker 2: issue of what it was like to be or what

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Speaker 2: it is like to be a woman of color in

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Speaker 2: very What was it thanks to Edward? It's it's not

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Speaker 2: so much and people like Edward, but how that affected you.

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Speaker 3: I think that's something that I'm really delving into at

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Speaker 3: the moment is how a lack of understanding about my

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Speaker 3: own identity has really kind of hindered certain aspects of

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Speaker 3: my growth, do you know what I mean? And having

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Speaker 3: been brought up in a predominantly white space, that how

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Speaker 3: that has affected me, How the things that I've tolerated,

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Speaker 3: the things that I've kind of brushed off. And I

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Speaker 3: think because of the resurgence of Black Lives Matter, the

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Speaker 3: conversations that they were having it kind of it really

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Speaker 3: kind of shook people's core. It wasn't that we were

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Speaker 3: just talking about slavery something that happened, you know, years

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Speaker 3: and years ago when people were I know, but for

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Speaker 3: certain people, like they weren't around where they happened when

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Speaker 3: that happened, so they were like, oh, I wasn't part

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 5: I mean I would, I didn't do anything like that.

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Speaker 3: And I think Black Lives Matter kind of brought it,

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Speaker 3: made it current and suddenly you were kind of they

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Speaker 3: were speaking about things that you had to check yourself

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Speaker 3: on and I had to suddenly was I think validated

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Speaker 3: in a lot of experiences and feelings that I had

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Speaker 3: surrounding my own race and how I'd had to kind

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Speaker 3: of navigate certain situations.

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Speaker 5: And also I think I was also my privilege.

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Speaker 3: You know, we talk about colorism within the community as

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Speaker 3: being someone who's like mixed race and lighter skin.

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Speaker 5: The way that I was treated compared to.

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Speaker 3: My cousins who are you know, who were a lot

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Speaker 3: darker skinned than me. You know, I think that's a

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Speaker 3: conversation that we don't have enough either. But for me,

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Speaker 3: I think it was great. You know, when Edward started

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Speaker 3: doing what he was doing, what he does and continues

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Speaker 3: to do and sets the bar so high continuously.

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Speaker 5: I think for me.

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Speaker 3: It had always been unspoken how uncomfortable I'd felt in

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Speaker 3: certain situations. It was almost that I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: give it a name. It's like I felt that there

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Speaker 3: were certain reasons why my career hadn't taken off, you know,

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Speaker 3: when I'd started with certain people, you know, who look

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Speaker 3: very different to me, I think I still was searching

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Speaker 3: for something that was completely unattainable. Different different body shape,

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Speaker 3: you know, sometimes even like you know, different colored skin,

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Speaker 3: you know, And so I think I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: blame it on something like that. I was like, why,

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Speaker 3: you know, I started at the same time as car

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Speaker 3: I started at the same time as so many girls,

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Speaker 3: and they kind of reached such great heights and I.

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Speaker 5: Was like, why is that? Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: I think it was quite nice when Edward.

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Speaker 3: There was many things that were beautiful about it, but

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Speaker 3: like having him come in and be like, we got

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Speaker 3: to change that.

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Speaker 5: This is what is going on, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Were you born here? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, born in London and your father's yeah gone in

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Speaker 3: he was born in Akras.

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Speaker 2: So going back was part of your childhood.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, very much. So it was always something that we did.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes my mum came and sometimes it was just the

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Speaker 3: three of us, and.

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Speaker 5: I think it felt quite alien at that time.

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Speaker 3: And as I grew older and kind of my career changed,

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Speaker 3: and obviously I became like a grown up, my relationship

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Speaker 3: Ghana very much changed. I felt like kind of instead

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Speaker 3: of just the kind of traveler someone who'd like been

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Speaker 3: born in London and who'd come back to Ghana, I

296
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Speaker 3: felt like they really claimed me, which was really like

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Speaker 3: a kind of beautiful experience, you know. I think especially

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Speaker 3: after the British Vogue cover. You know, it was like

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Speaker 3: they call you a Brunei, which means like a kind

300
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Speaker 3: of traveler because I'm obviously a little like paler skin

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Speaker 3: than most garn Ears, And I think after that, I

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Speaker 3: felt very much like kind of claimed by the people there,

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Speaker 3: which was really really amazing. But I have the most

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Speaker 3: amazing memories of Ghana.

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Speaker 5: We always used to stay at my grandma and granddads.

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Speaker 3: It's just a modest house next to a nursery, so

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Speaker 3: there were always like kids playing outside. My grandma has

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Speaker 3: always had a little kind of like corner shop, so

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Speaker 3: we go in there get all like cold bottles of like.

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Speaker 5: Coke and like biscuits. Then we'd sit.

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Speaker 3: There and watch her and my aunt Mary, all three

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Speaker 3: of them live together, so we'd watch them.

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Speaker 2: Did you cook? Did she cook for you?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: She cooked, and then she had a woman who also

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Speaker 3: helped her comfort.

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Speaker 2: What is gonna and food?

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Speaker 5: Like, it's amazing.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you've got the joll Off rice, You've got

320
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Speaker 3: lots of different kind of fish, You've got food food,

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00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: so it's like a kind of dough that you dip

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Speaker 3: into a soup. The spice there is kind of like

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Speaker 3: it's like an oily one.

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Speaker 5: It's amazing.

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Speaker 2: And chili, yeah, a lot of chili.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, really, Spike yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you go to the market.

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Speaker 3: To the markets are mad, mad, like insane, just like

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Speaker 3: bustling food, clothes, people wandering around. It's like mental but amazing.

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Speaker 3: And how long would you stay? We'd stay for like

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Speaker 3: two weeks. I have some cousins who usually stay there

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Speaker 3: a bit longer. Dad and my sister were there this year.

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Speaker 3: My dad goes back all the day, all the time.

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Speaker 3: My granddad's not alive anymore. My aunt Mary, she's not

335
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Speaker 3: alive anymore, but my grandma very much still there and

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Speaker 3: my aunt Tina lives with her.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's what was it like growing up in

338
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Speaker 2: your house. You have memories of meals, you know, for cooked.

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Speaker 3: My house has always been a place that is kind of.

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Speaker 5: People are in and out at all times.

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Speaker 3: You know, I very much grew up with Maybe it

342
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 3: was someone who had to move in for a bit,

343
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Speaker 3: you know, my godfather would move in, or someone in

344
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 3: you know, distress would be upstairs living in the upstairs room.

345
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Speaker 3: There were always parties and dinner parties and lots of

346
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Speaker 3: different people kind of in and out of the house.

347
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Speaker 3: You know. My mom has always been like an entertainer,

348
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Speaker 3: my dad as well.

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Speaker 5: The home has always.

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Speaker 3: Been one that kind of it feels like sacred, but

351
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 3: they're not precious about it. You know, a place that

352
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,120
Speaker 3: people want to geah, the carpets are rolled up when

353
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 3: a party happens. But you know, they've never been kind

354
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 3: of like prim and Popper, prim and roper about their

355
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 3: their places.

356
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Speaker 2: But were kids part of it? You kind of you

357
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: weren't sitting on the steps watching the party. We were

358
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Speaker 2: down there.

359
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Speaker 5: We do like things like.

360
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Speaker 3: Co check yeah yeah, and we like charge everyone money

361
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 3: and then they find all their coats just piled off

362
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,680
Speaker 3: on one bed, pretending like we'd organized them. Or we'd

363
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: be like sat on the staircase watching everyone get up

364
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,440
Speaker 3: to whatever mischief they were getting up to. And then

365
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 3: later on we were just joining in.

366
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Speaker 2: Would you go out a lot? Would you go out? Yeah?

367
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Speaker 5: We do such amazing things, you know.

368
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Speaker 3: That's the thing about growing up in London is like,

369
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 3: I mean, I wouldn't want to bring my children out

370
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Speaker 3: anywhere else.

371
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Speaker 5: I loved it.

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00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 3: Galleries and restaurants and they took us everywhere. It was

373
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 3: never about separation. It was like you want to sit

374
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 3: with the grown ups. You learn how to sit with

375
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 3: the grown ups. You you know, learn how to converse

376
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 3: and listen and talk to whoever might be next to

377
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 3: you or in front of you. But it was never

378
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: like my parents were never into the idea of like

379
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,120
Speaker 3: putting you on the kids say, yeah, you know, if

380
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 3: we were younger, it was like, come out, enjoy yourself.

381
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 3: When you get tired, just sleep under the table, do

382
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And then we'll go out.

383
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: And then you went to way to boarding school. Yeah, yeah,

384
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 2: what was that? Like?

385
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Speaker 5: The food yeah, horrible.

386
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Speaker 2: Horrible and Milfield was Millfield, Yeah, to be rather proud

387
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Speaker 2: of it.

388
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 3: It was you know what, maybe this is my snobby side.

389
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 3: I'm not great with a buffet. I think school kind

390
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 3: of like traumatized me from that. I mean some days

391
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 3: it would be good, like the salad station was like banging,

392
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 3: like that was good. But to be quite honest, I

393
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 3: lived off dominoes for like five years.

394
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Speaker 5: Oh no, you weren't.

395
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 3: We weren't allowed, but we'd like sneak it in and

396
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 3: then in prep we'd like run out and get the

397
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 3: pizza and like bring it back in and all share it.

398
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 3: On Fridays we were allowed like to order in Indian

399
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 3: or a Chinese Yeah.

400
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 2: Interesting, So that must have been quite shocking to go

401
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 2: from a house that was full of people and friends

402
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 2: and good food.

403
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it was also. I mean there were

404
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 3: certain days where it was good. Chinese day wasn't that bad.

405
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 3: Indian neighbor wasn't that bad?

406
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,120
Speaker 2: How old were you thirteen to eighteen five years?

407
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 5: Yeah?

408
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, then you'd come back weekends or would youday?

409
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 3: Well, you were only allowed what do they call it?

410
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 3: I can't remember what they used to call xax. Yeah,

411
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 3: you were only allowed a certain amount of exacts. But

412
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: I had the best house mistress on the face of

413
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 3: the planet, missus Orton, and she I was really homesick. Yeah,

414
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 3: I mean I kind of got over it, but it

415
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 3: wasn't my favorite of years being at that school. I

416
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: had some great friends, but I was just desperate to

417
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 3: come back to London.

418
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: Then from Millfield you went to university, went to what

419
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 2: was that like, Brunell?

420
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 5: Yeah?

421
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: Where is Brunel?

422
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 3: That's an Oxbridge. I mean I tried to get into Goldsmiths.

423
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 3: I've failed my English exam. I can't remember which one

424
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 3: it was. Because you realize that it really doesn't matter.

425
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 5: I mean, try your best, do all the things, but.

426
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 2: For listen, we're here We're here with a friend of

427
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 2: mine's daughter and the Hedge head executive chef's daughter, Pearl.

428
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 2: Helena Pearl joined us today because she's a fifteen year

429
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 2: old aspiring actor. She's an enormous admirer of your work

430
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,199
Speaker 2: and so.

431
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 5: There.

432
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so we were talking about whether you were matters.

433
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 2: So what was that like.

434
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 5: Obviously wanted to save money so that home.

435
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had the best time because I think it

436
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: was just I was back home.

437
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 5: I was back in London. I was back.

438
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 3: It was more it was predominantly I mean, Millfield was

439
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,479
Speaker 3: very kind of like intersectional, do I mean in many ways,

440
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 3: but it was predominantly white. And I think coming back

441
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 3: to London, it wasn't just the kind of necessarily race.

442
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 3: It was also a boiling pot of people who've grown

443
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 3: up differently, you know what I mean. It was like

444
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 3: I'd grown up completely different to a lot of the

445
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,719
Speaker 3: people in my kind of class. But I was I

446
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 3: just felt I felt like that was just more me.

447
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 3: I just wanted to be amongst that.

448
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, living at home, did it come come back, did

449
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 2: it feel like before you went to it.

450
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 5: Was very weird.

451
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say it was a great time. For my

452
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 3: mine and my parents' relationship. I think, you know, I

453
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 3: think they thought sending me to Bailing school there would

454
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 3: be more rules. But actually, when someone doesn't know you,

455
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 3: like a teacher, you can get around them, do what

456
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 3: I mean? Like, actually, you've kind of weirdly got more

457
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 3: space to Rome, and so coming back to London, obviously

458
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: there were certain rules. But I think if I was

459
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 3: honest and I've you know, I've spoken to about this anyway,

460
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 3: I think coming back home after five years, I was

461
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 3: a bit like, you can't really tell me what to.

462
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 5: Do, do you know what I mean?

463
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 3: Like, we haven't lived together for five years, so I

464
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 3: think that dynamic was quite hard on our relationship. I

465
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 3: think I probably regressed. I think I wasn't used to

466
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 3: the fact that I was back living under their roof,

467
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 3: and I was like very much a different person.

468
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 2: I remember once saying to my father I might have said.

469
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,479
Speaker 2: This was before saying to my father when I was

470
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 2: thirty or twenty eight or whatever, and I've been living

471
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 2: in London and working, and my parents lived in the

472
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: New York and would stalk and I once went home

473
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 2: and I was said to my dad, Oh, I'm going

474
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 2: to leave the baby and going to New York tomorrow.

475
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: And he said, I don't think you should do that.

476
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: And I said, you know what, I live in London

477
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 2: and I work and I don't have to ask anybody's

478
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 2: you know, nice ways in permission. But it's interesting that

479
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 2: when you know, I go home, I don't know whether

480
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 2: I'm a child or I'm an adult. And he said,

481
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 2: I'll make it really easy for you with the minute

482
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 2: you walk in that door, you're a child. And it

483
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 2: was actually quite nice because I thought, that's kind of

484
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 2: why I like going home, you know, is it suddenly

485
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: somebody's saying, you know, no one you stay here or whatever.

486
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 2: It was just interesting.

487
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 3: It's like a dance, isn't it. You have to learn

488
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 3: how to live with each other again.

489
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 2: When you went to Brunow, what would you think of majoring?

490
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: What was your dat?

491
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 3: Yeah?

492
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 5: That's why I finished. That's why I major.

493
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah did you eat out a lot? Did you party?

494
00:25:59,119 --> 00:25:59,439
Speaker 2: Did you?

495
00:25:59,520 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

496
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 5: Out all the time? To do all the time?

497
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 3: I mean we were so I was eighteen, yeah, and

498
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 3: we were born in nineteen nineteen ninety two.

499
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, so what did I finish school? Twenty ten?

500
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 3: So?

501
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, we had the best time.

502
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: I worked as soon as I kind of finished school modeling.

503
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 3: There were bits of modeling, but it wasn't there was

504
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 3: like a different time, do you know what I mean?

505
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,360
Speaker 3: So I worked in the shop, I worked as a nanny.

506
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: But we were so we had so much fun, do

507
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? We was like, I don't

508
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 3: know how it is for you, pearl, but we just

509
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 3: we were so carefree and mad and doing our thing.

510
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: And we were probably eighteen. Yeah, and we all pile

511
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 3: our money. Yeah, I mean just going but I just

512
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 3: mean being young, do you know what I mean. It's

513
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 3: like we weren't bothered about kind of what clothes we

514
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 3: were wearing or anything like that. We didn't have the

515
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 3: pressure of like social media or anything like that. It

516
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 3: was just about being in a gang, do you know

517
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 3: what I mean, and roaming the streets and mostly girls

518
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 3: was it. Yeah?

519
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 5: Mostly I've always been a girls girl.

520
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 3: And we'd all put our money together and like share

521
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 3: one meal, like poor restaurants where we just sit for

522
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 3: hours and hours and hours outside kind of coffee shop,

523
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 3: sharing one coffee between like five of us, and they're like,

524
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 3: can you leave if you're not going to buy anything,

525
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 3: can you leave? Or we go to like kind of

526
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 3: my friend Josh Delissa, who might as well be my brother.

527
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 3: He had a restaurant called Boomberger. We'd go in there

528
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 3: get cheap prices. We had some Mexican restaurants around the area,

529
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 3: and we'd all put our money together to share like

530
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 3: kind of one plate of food because I mean we

531
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,479
Speaker 3: were quite naughty. We were spending our money on like

532
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 3: alcohol and going out, so we didn't really have a

533
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 3: massive interest in spending our money on food.

534
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 2: So modeling, when did that happen? I mean, how did

535
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 2: that happen?

536
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 3: I mean I've been modeling on and off since I

537
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 3: was probably since I left school, so since I was eighteen.

538
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 3: I did a few bits and pieces like before, but

539
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 3: my mom was very strict about and my dad as

540
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 3: well about finishing school. Modeling kind of took quite a

541
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 3: long time to kind of take off, so that's why

542
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 3: I kind of worked.

543
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 2: Did you enjoy it, Yeah, I did.

544
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,880
Speaker 5: I think I've learned to like it more.

545
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: I learned to like it when I as cheesy as

546
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 3: this sounds, when I started to like myself, to be

547
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 3: quite honest, you know, I mean that's when it became

548
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 3: more fun and yes, there are days when I'm on

549
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 3: my period or I'm a bit exhausted, when I'm like,

550
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 3: this is literally the last thing I want to do,

551
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

552
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 5: There's be like kind of.

553
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 3: Showcased in front of a bunch of people, and then

554
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 3: kind of it's like Instagram have to kind of and

555
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 3: then I start picking apart my kind of who I am,

556
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, face value, not who I

557
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 3: am as a person actually, But I can.

558
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 5: Ask questions it what made you want to do a podcast?

559
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 3: I think it goes back to this this idea of storytelling,

560
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 3: I think, and the information out there on what lived

561
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: experience does in regards to stigma reduction and suicide reduction,

562
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: and so I couldn't think of a better place. There's

563
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 3: something about an honest conversation and honest chat. Yeah, there's

564
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 3: so much like intimacy within that and to just listen

565
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 3: to someone. And I think it really was that it's

566
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 3: like to talk to someone, to hear their side of

567
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 3: a story, to hear where they've come from and where

568
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 3: they're at and where they hope to be. I think

569
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: that's definitely the essence of having the podcast. Is that

570
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 3: idea that when we hear someone else's story, We're going

571
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 3: to feel less alone.

572
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you will be talking about Girls Talk. Tell

573
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 2: me when the next series that you're so excited about

574
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: is coming out?

575
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 3: So podcast, I'd say, just keep a lookout. It will

576
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: be towards the end of the year. Keep a look

577
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 3: out for September.

578
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: How do we look for it?

579
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 5: Yeah?

580
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: So just ground handles girls talk, how my girls talk?

581
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 3: Gu are ls talk.

582
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 2: Do you listen to girls Talk?

583
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 3: Yeah?

584
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 6: I have, but to you, like, I love listening to

585
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 6: things that say, like, you know, I love this things

586
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 6: that's just like, yeah, that so should be said, that

587
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:16,239
Speaker 6: so should be spoken about more.

588
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

589
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 6: People sphere of speaking out stops them from sins like

590
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 6: saying the truth, you know, as I really like about it,

591
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 6: you know, like speaking about grievouses or trauma or like

592
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 6: mental health, like all those type of things are just

593
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 6: not talked about enough.

594
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think I can't wait for the new

595
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 3: season to come out. I feel more grown up and

596
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: even more opinionated and even more confident. I find, and

597
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is because of social media

598
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 3: or cancel culture, that sometimes we're quite agreeable with each

599
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 3: other and I want to have conversations that aren't always

600
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 3: with people that I agree with. I want to also

601
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 3: learn about things that I have no idea about, and

602
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: I want to sometimes have those uncomfortable conversations where I'm

603
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 3: not only kind of not necessarily agreeing with the other person,

604
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 3: but I'm also being checked about what I don't know

605
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 3: and the ways that I think about things.

606
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean?

607
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 3: And so we've kind of changed that and it's going

608
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 3: to be really cool. We've got some mega people on

609
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 3: the podcast. Yeah.

610
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 5: I love hearing people's stories, you know.

611
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 3: I love meeting people, you know who different backgrounds exactly.

612
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 2: Everybody comes in with a story. Look around it. I've

613
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 2: had people come in and say, ah, you know, look

614
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 2: how this fabulous restaurant and I've had such a hard

615
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 2: time lately, And I gave if you went to every table,

616
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 2: everybody would have a story a story about Yeah. But

617
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 2: you know people, you know, we all think that you

618
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: see all these people and their lives are perfect, and

619
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: then you find out one that's just been divorced, or

620
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 2: they've had a kid with addiction, or they have everybody

621
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: has a story and so those smiling, happy faces whether

622
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: you see them on Instagram or here. You know that

623
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 2: everybody has a story, and as you say, I love

624
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: walking around and just hearing a bit of the story

625
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 2: of saying hello. Do you think prayl that. Do you

626
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: think that's when when Edward talked about social media pressure,

627
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 2: do you think that exists now?

628
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 6: I think especially hearing about what you were saying about

629
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 6: how when you were a kids and used to like

630
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 6: it used to be much different to its now because

631
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 6: you don't have social media, and I think it really

632
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 6: affects more how people look at themselves because you're Instagram

633
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 6: and you've got TikTok and you've got all these things.

634
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 6: And if you don't have it, you're like not in

635
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,719
Speaker 6: with the times. But if you do, then you're just

636
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 6: making yourself feel worse by yourself. But you can't be

637
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 6: like like for example, and people are like, oh, I

638
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 6: don't want social media.

639
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: It's bad. People are down.

640
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 6: On you for it. But reality, it's much better if

641
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 6: you didn't have it, Like for you're probably happier in

642
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 6: those times than that kids are.

643
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 3: Now because it's there's one thing, you know, getting to

644
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 3: know yourself and figuring out who you are.

645
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 5: Over those like thirteen to eighteen and then onwards. Do

646
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 5: you know what I mean?

647
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: It was like such a confusing time and that that's

648
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: already like, you know, I was talking to these girls

649
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 3: the other day, like thirteen to fourteen, and that was

650
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 3: a question like what would you say to your younger self?

651
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 5: And I would be, like I.

652
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 3: Used to scrutinize every single thing I did, the shoes

653
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 3: I wore, the way I wore my eyeliner, the way

654
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 3: my hair was, the way I carried my bag, the

655
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 3: way I walked, you know what I mean. I was

656
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,479
Speaker 3: like always on my case about every single movement, and

657
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 3: I think I would tell everyone that you don't need

658
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 3: to do that. I wish I'd stop putting so much

659
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: pressure on myself, because you realize when your world gets

660
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 3: bigger than none of them truly matters, do you know

661
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 3: what I mean? And I think to add in the

662
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 3: pressure of having to kind of be perceived by other people,

663
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 3: it's like I already was kind of self conscious, so

664
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: to then have to kind of portray a person that

665
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 3: I maybe wasn't hadn't become yet, do you know what

666
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 3: I mean?

667
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 5: Something that was.

668
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 3: Maybe just kind of performative would have been like an

669
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 3: added pressure at that time.

670
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: And you know it happen is at any age, you know,

671
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 2: I can you know, we're talking to women's. My husband

672
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: died a year and a half ago, And sometimes I

673
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 2: just look on Instagram, go, you know, another happy family,

674
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 2: you know, and the beach resorder, another grandparents with their

675
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 2: grand char I mean, I have that life, but you know,

676
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: it's very You can look at it in terms of

677
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: whether you're thin enough, whether you're you know, whether your

678
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: hair is as beautiful, whether you're a certain type with

679
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: the clothes you're wearing, the way you carry handbag, or

680
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: you can look at it in families and you can see,

681
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 2: you know, it just feels that there's I really I

682
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 2: never post from a vacation. I really, I knew that

683
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 2: a long time. There's nothing worse than on a day

684
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,399
Speaker 2: like today working and then you see somebody on there.

685
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 5: You know, it's just it's like.

686
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: There's a is it acting what you wanted to do

687
00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: when you went to Brunel.

688
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's from thirteen until eighteen.

689
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 3: I did that at school and then I went on

690
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 3: to study that at Brunel, and then kind of life

691
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 3: took a different direction, not only kind of personally and

692
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 3: then it became something. You know, then I kind of

693
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: fell into modeling and that started taking over. So I

694
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 3: kind of jumped on that bandwagon, and that led me

695
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 3: to where I am now. And then I think just

696
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 3: before COVID, I made a kind of decision that I

697
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 3: wanted to give it another go, you know, I wanted

698
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 3: to put one hundred percent in it and see where

699
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 3: it would take me.

700
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 5: Because I think when I first left university.

701
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 3: Had a different head of my shoulders and my priorities

702
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 3: were warped, and I wasn't a very happy person. So

703
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: I didn't, you know, have the capability or to give

704
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 3: it one hundred percent.

705
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 5: So that's where I'm at now.

706
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,799
Speaker 3: I'm on that journey and I absolutely love it.

707
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,399
Speaker 5: It's ridiculously hard, respect to all.

708
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 3: I would love to do theater one day, but at

709
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 3: the moment, it's it's TV infil Yeah.

710
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 2: And now you're living in your own apartment. How is that?

711
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,240
Speaker 5: Oh, it's really nice.

712
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 2: Do you have an open kitchen as well?

713
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 3: Yeah?

714
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah?

715
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 3: What's it like kitchen? It's my kitchen's yellow, blue and

716
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:21,760
Speaker 3: white tiles.

717
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 5: I mean, describe it. It's very much open.

718
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 3: I've got an island in the middle that has like

719
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 3: a kind of heart boner engraved in it that my

720
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 3: friend Jeff did. It's got a massive, big, like kind

721
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 3: of teak table with matching chairs that I've posted in

722
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 3: like Leopard Brint.

723
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 2: How you like your parents? Do you like people coming

724
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: to you.

725
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 5: Instead of you going to Yeah? I love it.

726
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 3: I mean I think to a certain extent, I grew

727
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: up in an African household, so the idea that we

728
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 3: were going to spend the night at other people's houses

729
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 3: was like something that was like my dad just did

730
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 3: not understand. He's like, you have a bed, you have

731
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 3: a house, Like, why do you need to go and

732
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 3: stay at someone else's house. There was certain people that

733
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 3: we went to, but like eating at home and sleeping

734
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 3: at home has always been like a kind of a priority.

735
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 5: With a metal house, you know, it might be.

736
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 3: I was talking to Pearl about it, actually, I mean

737
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 3: I actually eating a lot. I now spend a lot

738
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: of time between London and la and when I was

739
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 3: working before COVID, I didn't really have the time to cook.

740
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,959
Speaker 5: It wasn't necessarily a priority of mine.

741
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 3: So I used to order a lot of takeaway, and

742
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 3: I think after COVID I started really prioritizing what was important.

743
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: So I did have more time. And so my boyfriend's

744
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 3: a really good cook. My sister lives with me, and

745
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: she's an amazing cook. I like cooking if it's like

746
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 3: family or people who are really close to me.

747
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,840
Speaker 5: I don't feel the pressure.

748
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 3: I'm not the idea of cooking for like ten people

749
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,280
Speaker 3: or something that doesn't excite me. If I'm cooking for myself,

750
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 3: it's like simple things like fish and vegetable or eggs, soup,

751
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:08,839
Speaker 3: you know, stuff like that. No I don't eat No, No,

752
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 3: I haven't eaten. You're Weirdly, I've started, like I think

753
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 3: I've just been listening to my body a bit more,

754
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 3: and so like if it's the time of the month

755
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 3: or something like that, I'm like, oh, I kind of

756
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 3: really feel like so me and I've never had that before.

757
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 5: So I kind of am listening to my body a

758
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 5: bit more.

759
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: But it's still very much like kind of in when

760
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 3: I'm cooking at home, especially in LA we have like

761
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 3: a tiny, tiny kitchen, so we're not gonna cook fish

762
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 3: because it would just make the whole house smile, like fish.

763
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 3: The little flat we have, so we cook a lot

764
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 3: of vegetarian stuff in LA and then at home, you know,

765
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 3: I have more space and so we cook lots of

766
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:53,800
Speaker 3: different things and have people around. I wish I I've

767
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 3: grown up in a household full of amazing cooks. My

768
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 3: cousins and amazing cook my aunt and my uncle everyone.

769
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 3: You know, they have recipes that were handwritten by my

770
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 3: grandma about certain things. Yeah. That and I think I

771
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 3: remember my mom always say grandmother my mom's mom.

772
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 5: Yeah.

773
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 3: I always remember my mom, like I mean, there were

774
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 3: there are many things that were kind of sad when

775
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: her mom died. But I think she always thinks about,

776
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 3: you know, when she needs answers on certain recipes. She

777
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 3: always thinks about the idea of calling my grandma. And

778
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 3: my dad is an amazing cook as well, and so

779
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 3: I should be more interested in it.

780
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 2: Well, I'm the cleaner.

781
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 5: I'm the cleaner.

782
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine. I think everybody figures out I do

783
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 2: the dishes.

784
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 5: Well, that's fine.

785
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: Do you remember when when it became possible for you

786
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 2: to go out to you to not think about how

787
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 2: much it cost.

788
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a really good question.

789
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 3: I think. So I moved twenty seventeen. I moved to

790
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 3: LA when I got sober, but I don't I wasn't

791
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: eating out that much, to be quite honest, I didn't

792
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 3: have the money I was. I'd kind of taken a

793
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 3: year off and my mum and dad were supporting me

794
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 3: for the first time in a long time, which I

795
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 3: found like kind of incredibly uncomfortable. So I kind of

796
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 3: was under a certain budget, do you know what I mean?

797
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: And I think probably maybe when I really could just

798
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 3: like go to the restaurants and come here and like

799
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 3: pay for myself. I probably was about twenty five, twenty

800
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 3: five and had.

801
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 2: Come from modeling or we're acting.

802
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 3: Or yeah, modeling, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a big change. Yeah,

803
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 3: moving to New York. Yeah, So I moved to New

804
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 3: York when I was twenty four. I had my twenty

805
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 3: fifth birthday in New York, and that's probably when it

806
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 3: started to change. You know. That's when I could like

807
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 3: order a takeaway or like go to this restaurant called

808
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 3: Lucienne and like we'll get my friend of meal or you're.

809
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 2: Not alone in that, you know that. It was something

810
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 2: that I was talked When I talked to David Beckham,

811
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 2: he said he remembered when he took Victoria and they

812
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: could actually, you know, I have to completely look at

813
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 2: the prices on the right hand side. Or Paul McCartney

814
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 2: saying that he thought wine was a horrible drink because

815
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 2: he could only afford the cheapest, cheapest, cheapest wine because

816
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: we know it is pretty. Wine was a horrible drink

817
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: until he went out with Brian you know, Epstein, who

818
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 2: was his manager, and they ordered a fantastic buddle of

819
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 2: the feet and thought, oh, that's what wine is.

820
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 3: So the main thing is is I've never tried a

821
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 3: good glass of wine. Well never, yeah, no, but but

822
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 3: I got sober when I was twenty I got sober

823
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 3: when I was twenty two, so I wasn't like spending

824
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 3: the money and like we were going to the corner

825
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,959
Speaker 3: shop and getting like a Casaillio dabble, you know what I.

826
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 5: Mean, like a cheap bottle of tequila with a hat

827
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 5: on it.

828
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I've never actually, you know, I've never

829
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 3: had had a like stunning cocktail. I've never had a

830
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 3: like beautiful glass of wine. And it's fine, but it

831
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 3: is mad to think that I'm never actually because and

832
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 3: to be honest, like that's why I could probably like

833
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 3: go and eat out do you know. I mean, I've

834
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 3: never had the expense of having to kind of buy alcohol, And.

835
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 2: I suppose you know for me that is you know,

836
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 2: we all have reasons why we eat the food we eat.

837
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 2: Food can be something you have when you're hungry, be

838
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 2: something that you have when you want to cook or

839
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 2: you want to entertain. It can be food can be

840
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:39,320
Speaker 2: alleviation of pain or sadness. So I suppose that my

841
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 2: last question to you is what would you turn to

842
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,800
Speaker 2: if you needed food for comfort?

843
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 3: Hm, I go home, definitely. I don't know if it's

844
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 3: anything in particular. I think it would just be something

845
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 3: because by my mom and dad, anything that was put

846
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: in front of me would feel comforting.

847
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 2: That's beautiful and beautiful. Wait to end a wonderful.

848
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 3: Thank you, Love you, love you, I love you, We

849
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 3: love you.

850
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:14,320
Speaker 2: Thanks, thank you.

851
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: The River Cafe Lookbook is now available in bookshops and online.

852
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: It has over one hundred recipes beautifully illustrated with photographs

853
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: from the renowned photographer Matthew Donaldson. The book has fifty

854
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: delicious and easy to prepare recipes, including a host of

855
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: River Cafe classics that have been specially adapted for new cooks.

856
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: The River Cafe lookbook Recipes for cooks of all ages.

857
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: Ruthie's Table four is a production of iHeart Radio and

858
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: Adamized Studios. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

859
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,240
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,