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Speaker 1: This is a headgun podcast. Do you say thank you

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Speaker 1: a lot? Do you feel I do? I do too.

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Speaker 1: You were raised to say thank you? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I would have to say, and that sounds so heavy.

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Speaker 2: I like this about us. Yes, I was raised like

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Speaker 2: if my mom dropped me off at ballet practice, I

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Speaker 2: said thank you, even though it's like who else was

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Speaker 2: going to take me. Yes, yes, you still say thank you.

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Speaker 2: And I've had people say to me, you say thank

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Speaker 2: you too much, and I'm like, it's just how I

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Speaker 2: was raised. And I'm like, if you had to choose

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Speaker 2: between me not saying thank you enough and saying thank

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Speaker 2: you too much, we would go say thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, all right?

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I noticed on my text chain like if

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Speaker 3: I'm you know, I'm constantly thanking someone and then they'll

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Speaker 3: like write one thing back, and then I'll say thank

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Speaker 3: you again, and I'll look back at the chain and

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Speaker 3: like there's just so many things.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay.

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Speaker 2: The other thing I was going to say, Randall is

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Speaker 2: I'm just noticing, for the first time ever, you have

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Speaker 2: a tattoo.

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Speaker 1: I'm on a tattoo kick right now.

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Speaker 3: Well, they're very like thin and small for shame, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but it's yeah, my this is my wife's name and

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Speaker 3: my daughter's name. Oh that's so cool.

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Speaker 1: Did you get them the same day?

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Speaker 3: I did? I did.

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Speaker 1: Were you worried you were going to get in trouble

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Speaker 1: with your parents?

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Speaker 3: No? No, because because I'm an adult, there are those thoughts.

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Speaker 3: But everyone you.

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Speaker 1: Knew, okay to have your parents seen them.

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Speaker 3: Well, my brother has like full sleeves. Oh really, so

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Speaker 3: I could really do anything at this point?

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Speaker 1: Is your brother older or younger older? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Usually it's.

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Speaker 2: The youngest who kind of goes like, I'm the youngest

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Speaker 2: and I've gone down a different path. And usually it's

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Speaker 2: the youngest who whiles out shout out to your brother.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure.

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Speaker 1: Was that rough when you first got a tattoo? Or

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Speaker 1: was he also?

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Speaker 3: He? I think he was older. He gets older. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm not super older, but but I think he didn't

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Speaker 3: live in la oh la. Yeah. He lived away, so

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Speaker 3: he was able to kind of live with it and

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Speaker 3: then slowly unveil it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because he'd wear long sleeves or something around.

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Speaker 3: The family, and when one was like a hundred degrees out,

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Speaker 3: he'd be in like.

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Speaker 1: Something, what's going on with your brother.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, is he sick?

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Speaker 1: Does he have a fever?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Hi, guys, I may go out him and welcome

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Speaker 2: to Thankstad.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do the intro now.

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Speaker 2: Sure, I was raised by a single mom and I

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Speaker 2: don't have a relationship with my dad. And here's the thing, guys,

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Speaker 2: not only do I not have a relationship with him,

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Speaker 2: I'm never going to have one. And I know we're

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Speaker 2: not supposed to speak in absolutes, but here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: He's actually dead now, so it's not possible unless there's

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Speaker 2: an afterlife. I like to believe in one, but I

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Speaker 2: feel like if there is one, I'll probably still not

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Speaker 2: have a relationship with him. Randall doesn't like the sound.

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Speaker 1: Of the.

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Speaker 2: Randall furrows his brows at the thought. What gave you, Paul,

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Speaker 2: you think in the afterlife I would have one?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't believe't know. Okay, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: so I would say I wouldn't roll that out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's true. Okay, that's fair, No absolutes, that's the

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Speaker 2: whole point.

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Speaker 1: I won't have a relationship with him on earth. That's fair, Yes.

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Speaker 3: Because he's gone unless who knows, Unless we're back on earth.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what.

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Speaker 1: Fair enough in my mind, once we go, we definitely.

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Speaker 3: Not here reincarnated into well, you know, a horse and

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Speaker 3: another horse. Who knows, you never know.

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Speaker 2: I the other day just feeling very spiritual, and I'll

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Speaker 2: probably say cut this out. I say that probably ten

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Speaker 2: times when I was maybe shouldn't be.

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Speaker 1: Hosting a podcast.

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Speaker 2: I just feel like a freedom here because I'm not

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Speaker 2: on a live TV show. We're to cut that out

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Speaker 2: and cut that out and cut all. There's no pod podcasts. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just want you here to talk to me in

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Speaker 2: front of mics, that's all. But the other day I

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Speaker 2: was feeling very woo woo. And I have a dog.

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Speaker 2: His name is Chief. He is a little over a

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Speaker 2: year old, and I don't know why. Maybe I was

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Speaker 2: crying about something. I don't think so, I don't, I

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Speaker 2: don't think so. And I looked at him and I

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Speaker 2: was like, is this my grandmother? So I was like, Mama,

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Speaker 2: is this Mama reincarnated? And then he immediately walked away

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Speaker 2: from me, and I go, Okay, that was a weird moment.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't need to tell anyone.

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Speaker 3: About Wait, so what fascinates me about what you just said,

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Speaker 3: is that you were crying? Yeah, but you didn't remember

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Speaker 3: what it was about, which makes me wonder do you

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Speaker 3: cry often?

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Speaker 2: I am a crier, but I wasn't always. I used

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Speaker 2: to think crying was weak. I was like a sign

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Speaker 2: of weakness, and then when I realized it wasn't a

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Speaker 2: sign of weakness and it's actually quite healthy. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: feel like I went too hard in the other direction.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'll cry because I'm happy. I'll cry

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Speaker 2: because something's funny, I'll cry because I'm sad, I'll cry

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Speaker 2: because something's touching. I think last week I cried multiple times,

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with my life, just touching stories.

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Speaker 1: Or touching moments, making beautiful thank you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But now I'm like, it's not weakness. What a cooling

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Speaker 2: to cry?

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Speaker 3: You're alive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm alive, and I'm feeling things.

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Speaker 3: Right, seeing people in your pets, yes.

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Speaker 2: And my pets, and I'm thinking, then immediately I go,

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Speaker 2: is that you And they go, no bitch walk away

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Speaker 2: from me.

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Speaker 3: Unless your grandmother was one to walk away.

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Speaker 1: And then I was.

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Speaker 2: Thinking, and I go, Okay, I'm trying to remember was

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Speaker 2: that her thing? And I don't recall that bagure Okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: we were really close. But anyway, Randall, on this podcast,

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with father figures who are old enough

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Speaker 2: to be my dad.

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Speaker 1: No offense, Randall, no offense.

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Speaker 2: I'm twelve, So I'm twelve and I have this crazy

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Speaker 2: career in life. Or men who are just dads themselves,

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Speaker 2: you know, or people who are just dads themselves. I'm

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Speaker 2: going to get to ask the questions I've always wanted

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Speaker 2: to ask a dad, Like how do I know if

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Speaker 2: the guy I'm dating is right for me? What's the

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Speaker 2: like dead giveaway? Or what should I look out for

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Speaker 2: when I'm buying a car so I don't get bamboozled

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Speaker 2: by the car salesman? Or can you teach me how

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Speaker 2: to change my oil? Could you teach me how to

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Speaker 2: change my oil if we went outside right now?

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Speaker 3: No, but I could take you to I could show

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Speaker 3: you where you can get your oil.

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Speaker 2: Chain from a trustworthy person. I don't know trust you

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Speaker 2: don't even know that there's trustworthy. They could tell you

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Speaker 2: any number.

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Speaker 3: Right, I'm pretty much one of those.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I will say this.

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Speaker 2: Today I was talking to my friend and she was

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Speaker 2: talking about how she had a contractor come to her

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Speaker 2: house for repairs a bunch of repairs regularly, and it

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Speaker 2: was always like, oh, this is a really big problem.

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Speaker 2: This is going to cost eight thousand dollars. And then

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Speaker 2: someone overheard that conversation once and told her, like, you

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Speaker 2: should reach out to my contractor. Same problem. That new

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Speaker 2: contractor comes and is like, oh, that'll be like I

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Speaker 2: think three hundred and fifty bucks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Are you getting taken advantage of my contractors right now?

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Speaker 3: I no, because I get a lot of estimates. Oh

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Speaker 3: you do, okay, I always get a lot of.

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Speaker 2: Estimakay, Henry David Thureau, Yes, okay, that's me. That's the

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Speaker 2: row spelled a different way, not French. I look up

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Speaker 2: reviews a lot of everything. I feel like I won't

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Speaker 2: make a decision without being like, what are the people saying?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's reviews, it's getting options.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and it's the okay, time is big randall.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe basic, but maybe not.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not calling you basic now, but I've lately

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Speaker 2: been like, oh, I can just go off of gut

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Speaker 2: and energy and instinct.

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Speaker 3: Vibe is big in everything, Yes, but when.

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Speaker 1: Did you learn that? By the way, Uh, well, I.

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Speaker 3: Think It's different for different people too, though, because I

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Speaker 3: think some people maybe they're they're I don't know, ability

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Speaker 3: to feel and read. People can be easily compromised by whatever.

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Speaker 3: But I think for me, I've always been pretty good

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Speaker 3: at it, and I think I've gotten better as i've

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Speaker 3: gotten older.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what is your sign? I'm an Aries and Aries,

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Speaker 2: which is hold on. I'm always like, I'm not into

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Speaker 2: astrology because I once knew nothing about it.

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Speaker 1: But then I'll be like, now i still.

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Speaker 2: Say that thing, but I'm like, maybe I am into it,

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Speaker 2: but I'm still owning that I'm a Pisces, so I

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Speaker 2: know Aries is you're like late March April.

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Speaker 1: This is cool.

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Speaker 2: This is growth for me because I once knew nothing

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Speaker 2: about it. But that means you're like a little fiery, right.

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Speaker 1: You don't seem fire.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm not, but I think inside that there's a

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Speaker 3: fire and there. I think aries are passionate, their leadership

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Speaker 3: skills involved there somewhere, yes, and yeah, it's like the

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Speaker 3: first sign.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, yank you Okay, yeah, Randall, we've worked together once,

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Speaker 2: we met another time at a conference.

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Speaker 1: I do feel like.

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Speaker 2: If I was in a situation where it was like apocalypse. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and I saw you out in the wild, yes, and

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Speaker 2: there were zombies or something. I feel like I would

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Speaker 2: go like I can troll, Randall.

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Speaker 3: I really appreciate that.

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Speaker 2: Really mean, you've got a good spirit. See my vibe

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Speaker 2: says that your vibe is good, which is perfect because

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Speaker 2: you're my dad for the day. You've seen my next guest,

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Speaker 2: who I've spoken to at length already in Fresh off

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Speaker 2: the Boat, Always Be My Maybe. I loved that and

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Speaker 2: Wanda Vision, which is not to say I didn't like

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Speaker 2: the other two. It's okakay, oh boy, I'm really yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 2: please welcome my dad for the day, Randall Park.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. I'm so happy. How do you feel about

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Speaker 3: the other two though?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm so glad you asked Fresh off the boat?

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Speaker 3: Just be honest.

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Speaker 2: You're fishing, You're fresh off the boat, and you're fishing.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna say I loved them all.

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Speaker 3: You didn't watch it either, which is fine.

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Speaker 1: I've actually never seen any of these. That's not true.

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Speaker 1: That's not true. I love them all.

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Speaker 3: I've seen.

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Speaker 1: I've seen some of all. I've seen Always Be My Maybe,

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Speaker 1: and I've seen some of all. That's the truth.

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Speaker 3: You okay, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My goodness, I just started sweating. I was sweating. No, Randall,

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you're here. This is a huge, gigantic honor, truly.

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Speaker 3: Right back at you.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I.

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Speaker 3: Sit here with you and to be your daddy.

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Speaker 1: This is huge for me.

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Speaker 2: We have to start by talking about origin stories. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: what was your dad.

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Speaker 3: Like my dad was? And I say it was because

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Speaker 3: he just passed away Sentry, yeah, a few months ago.

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Speaker 3: But he was a I think on the outside, a

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Speaker 3: very I won't say stereotypical dad, but he was kind

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Speaker 3: of that stoic Asian father, you know, like he didn't

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Speaker 3: he wasn't big into conversation. He was, yes, man a

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Speaker 3: few words. He worked very hard, very hard. He loved

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Speaker 3: his family so much, particularly his two sons and my brother.

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Speaker 3: And it wouldn't he wouldn't tell us that he loved us. Sure,

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Speaker 3: but he we just knew it. We just knew it,

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Speaker 3: and we would and you know, people would, people who

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Speaker 3: were around him would always tell us how much he

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Speaker 3: loved his boys and how he would brag about us

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Speaker 3: and something that I never was privy too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but you could feel that love. Yes, Yes,

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Speaker 2: in action, right. Yes, I'm presuming I say this because

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Speaker 2: I introduced to my nuclear family. I don't want to

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Speaker 2: speak for the rest of my family saying I love you.

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Speaker 2: I heard a song in college, and this, again, I'm

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Speaker 2: judging myself, sounds basic, but I heard a song in

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Speaker 2: college and I actually going to say what the song was.

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Speaker 2: I was reticent to say the song because everyone hates

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Speaker 2: this person now, but it was Kanye West. I think

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Speaker 2: Big Brother by Kanye Graduation is about j for JZ,

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Speaker 2: A great song, but he said people never get the

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Speaker 2: flowers while they can still smell them. So I don't

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Speaker 2: know if it was necessarily right after college. I could

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Speaker 2: have been in college. I'm anywhere from like nineteen to

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Speaker 2: twenty two, and I hear that and I go, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that is an insane way to live. And I know

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Speaker 2: my mom loves me. I feel it in action. I'm

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Speaker 2: so provided for, I feel so protected by her. But

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Speaker 2: why don't we say it so that we can be

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Speaker 2: sure like it's nice to hear it, and so I

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Speaker 2: take responsibility for introducing that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's beautiful, that's beautiful. Yeah, Yeah, did.

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Speaker 1: Your mom say I love you?

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Speaker 3: She wanted to say she didn't when we were real

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Speaker 3: little growing up, but I would say, once we started

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Speaker 3: to get out of the house and you know, we

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Speaker 3: were going to college and stuff, she would say it, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and we would say it back.

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Speaker 2: What do you think that was a function of that,

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Speaker 2: Like when you were little, you didn't hear it from her,

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Speaker 2: but like the older you got than what you were

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Speaker 2: out of the house.

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Speaker 3: Do you think it's just cultural? You know, I think

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Speaker 3: it's just cultural. And my you know, both of my

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Speaker 3: parents are immigrants that came here, my dad in the

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Speaker 3: late sixties, my mom in the early seventies, and and

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Speaker 3: it just wasn't something I guess in their mind needed

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Speaker 3: to be expressed, because it was just it was what

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Speaker 3: it was. You know.

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Speaker 1: Then they just yeah, and you knew and then yeah.

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Speaker 3: But growing up as a kid, it was like I

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Speaker 3: didn't know, you know, I was just like, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: why can't they view like my friend's parents.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're a demmigran from just for clarity, from Korea,

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Speaker 1: from Korea. I feel a lot of that too, where

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Speaker 1: you go when you're younger. I don't know if this

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Speaker 1: is accurate to say. The sense I get is we're

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Speaker 1: like in a time where first gen or second gen

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Speaker 1: people whose families are from different cultures, but living in

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Speaker 1: the States, I feel like there's an embrace of our

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Speaker 1: identity in a way. Now, yes, yes, was not reflected

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Speaker 1: when we were younger.

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Speaker 2: I think when we were younger, we were trying to

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Speaker 2: assimilate to like I just want to be like everyone else. Sure, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I resonate with that so so much. Now you said

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Speaker 2: your dad like really loved his boys.

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Speaker 3: Right, really loved his boys.

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Speaker 1: Did you have sisters?

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Speaker 3: No? No, just the two, just the.

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Speaker 2: Two of you, Because I was like, oh my goodness,

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Speaker 2: the girls must have felt left.

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Speaker 1: But no, no they did. They were no girls.

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Speaker 3: Girl.

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Speaker 1: Now you said on the outside he seemed one way.

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Speaker 2: What's the sense you got of him on the inside, Like, yes,

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Speaker 2: really loved his boys.

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Speaker 3: Really love these boys, really really proud of us. But

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Speaker 3: you know, wasn't overly excitable about Archie evens. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's just like what was very strict in terms of

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Speaker 3: just like education, education, education, you know, very kind of dependable,

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Speaker 3: and you know he was he was a great dad.

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Speaker 3: He was Yeah, just a real real great dad. I

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Speaker 3: wouldn't say in the traditional sense. You know, it wasn't

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Speaker 3: like he, you know, threw a baseball with us or anything.

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Speaker 1: Are we coming up with that?

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Speaker 2: You know? Sorry, I said, because this is part of

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Speaker 2: what I want to have the podcast. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we have TV dads, yes, And I guess some people

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Speaker 2: do actually have TV dads, but it doesn't seem like

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Speaker 2: many people do or did.

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Speaker 1: What do you feel about that?

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Speaker 3: What do you mean in terms.

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Speaker 2: Of the like throwing the baseball in the doing those things,

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Speaker 2: people's dads are a little more for sure.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I felt like my growing up in

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Speaker 3: LA I had a very diverse set of friends, and

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Speaker 3: I would say a lot of my white friends, okay, they,

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Speaker 3: at least in my head growing up, their dads were

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Speaker 3: so much like the TV dads, you know, like yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I'd always be like, why can't my dad be

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Speaker 3: more like them? You know? Why why can't my mom

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Speaker 3: be more like their moms? You know? But now that

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Speaker 3: I'm older, I just have a totally different perspective on it.

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Speaker 3: You know, they were they loved us just as much,

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Speaker 3: and they and they sacrificed just as much, you know,

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Speaker 3: and if not.

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Speaker 1: More, I was just about chime, if not more.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, being immigrants and and and learning a language

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Speaker 3: and and somehow finding work and making a living and

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Speaker 3: h and you know my dad was he he worked

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Speaker 3: in he had a one hour photo store. Yeah, for

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Speaker 3: for many many years. And and uh and then after

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Speaker 3: that he worked at a souvenir shop on Hollywood Boulevard.

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Speaker 1: Oh really did he ever retire?

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Speaker 3: He did? He did shortly before he passed. Oh really, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I mean he was he just he was a worker.

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Speaker 3: He just loved to work.

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Speaker 1: He loves to work. Do you think he was passionate

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Speaker 1: about his work.

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Speaker 3: I think his passionate about his family, you know, so

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Speaker 3: like the work wasn't you know? Probably like you know,

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Speaker 3: I don't know what his dream job was. That was

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Speaker 3: never like a question that we had. But he's human.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure he at some point he had a dream job.

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Speaker 3: Sure he had a dream life. And I don't think

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Speaker 3: that was the life he necessarily led, but he did

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Speaker 3: have his dream family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, you said he emphasized education for

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Speaker 2: you guys. Yes, yes, and now Randall you're an actor, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: which you don't necessarily have to go to school for

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Speaker 2: now I can relate, right, what was that conversation, like

369
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Speaker 2: telling him that you wanted to be an actor?

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Speaker 3: It was, well, it came later, So I was when

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Speaker 3: I was at ucl I kind of discovered writing and acting,

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Speaker 3: and and out of college I kept doing it kind

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Speaker 3: of on the side for fun, but I was working

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Speaker 3: these full time jobs, and at a certain point in

375
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Speaker 3: my mid to later twenties, I decided that I wanted

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Speaker 3: to do this professionally. And I did bring it up

377
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Speaker 3: to them pretty early, maybe like mid twenties, and both

378
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Speaker 3: of my parents were like, what are you talking about? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what are you? Are you insane?

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Speaker 2: Our son has lost his mind at UCLA they put

381
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Speaker 2: something in the water.

382
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Speaker 1: Yeah he's talking crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yes, they were, and you know, and now I see

384
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Speaker 3: it from their side because I was a shy kid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

386
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Speaker 3: I was not like a performer. I was very much

387
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Speaker 3: like that kid who would, you know, be really quiet

388
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Speaker 3: in the corner, you know. So they never saw that

389
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Speaker 3: side of me that was flourishing at college, you.

390
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Speaker 2: Know, to.

391
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Speaker 3: So they just thought I was crazy and really really

392
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Speaker 3: were adamantly against it.

393
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Speaker 1: Did they seem worried once you started to go down that.

394
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Speaker 3: Path, Yes, but they didn't really know. I didn't tell them, Okay, So.

395
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Speaker 2: You brought it to them and then they had their

396
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Speaker 2: reaction to it, which was like, what the heck are

397
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Speaker 2: you talking about?

398
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,919
Speaker 1: And they're like, maybe I'm not going to talk to

399
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Speaker 1: you guys about.

400
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Speaker 3: Yes, and I don't. And I say it was just

401
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: once when I brought it to them, but I probably

402
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 3: brought it up numerous times over the course of you know,

403
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,159
Speaker 3: a year or something, and every time, you know, the

404
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 3: reaction was the same, yes, and if not even more

405
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 3: you know, adamant over time.

406
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 1: Right, right.

407
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Speaker 3: So so at a certain point, I was like, if

408
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Speaker 3: I were to do this, yeah, I can't lean on

409
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Speaker 3: them for support because they're gonna you know, express their

410
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,120
Speaker 3: you know, disdain, yeah, disdain for it, and then it's

411
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Speaker 3: gonna discourage me from you know. And I was very

412
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Speaker 3: sensitive and I kind of needed as much of a

413
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Speaker 3: support system as possible. So I just went after it

414
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Speaker 3: without them knowing.

415
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Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, did you think they had something they

416
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 2: did want you to do?

417
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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know, that was the thing, doctor Lawyer.

418
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Speaker 2: I just asked to be sure, you know, for our

419
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Speaker 2: listeners who might not be privy. In my mind, I'm like,

420
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Speaker 2: I know, I know it's doctor lawyer was engineer.

421
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Speaker 3: Even an option engineer. I mean, that would have been fantastic.

422
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Speaker 2: Okay, great, Okay, did your brother go into something in

423
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Speaker 2: that world?

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Speaker 1: Okay, what is your brother to make?

425
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Speaker 3: He works in an optometrist office. Okay, yeah, okay, but

426
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 3: he's not an optometrist. And so so, you know, neither

427
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 3: of us really did exactly what they want. And me,

428
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Speaker 3: especially right when.

429
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Speaker 2: Our parents emigrate to the States, it's like, what's the

430
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Speaker 2: American dream?

431
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Speaker 1: They have an idea of it, and I go.

432
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Speaker 2: Ah, but coming to the Western world also means your

433
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 2: kids learn about the pursuit of happiness.

434
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Speaker 1: And then their passion. Yes, yes, and it's not exactly

435
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 1: what you think it is.

436
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,440
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think they want us to be happy.

437
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 3: Their idea of happy is financial abilability and respect from

438
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Speaker 3: the community and you know, doctor.

439
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 1: A doctor.

440
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 4: Yeah.

441
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 3: And it took me a while to realize that. I

442
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 3: thought at the time, they just don't want me to

443
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 3: pursue my dreams for whatever reason, you know, But really

444
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 3: they were concerned because they knew how difficult, especially my mom,

445
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 3: because my mom worked at U c.

446
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 4: L A.

447
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,959
Speaker 3: And she saw all these you know, kids fresh out

448
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 3: of college who wanted to pursue acting, and she saw

449
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,199
Speaker 3: how difficult it was for them, so she knew, you know,

450
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 3: And I remember it. One time she even showed me

451
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 3: like one of her I guess a young person who

452
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 3: worked in our office was trying to be an actor

453
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: and he had an acting reel and she she showed

454
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 3: it to me and she and she was like, this

455
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 3: guy is so handsome, he's so talented. Look at his

456
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 3: real And I think it was her way of discouraging me,

457
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,400
Speaker 3: because she was like, you're not like him, You're not handsome.

458
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was just trying to be like you're ugly,

459
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: little yeah, my ugly.

460
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 3: Son, And look at this guy. Yeah, and he's having

461
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 3: a hard time.

462
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see what you're saying. My mom actually bought

463
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 2: a VHS. Okay, so, my brother, who is not a

464
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 2: football player now but is a spine surgeon, wanted to

465
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 2: play football. That like I'm going to place him at

466
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 2: like ten years old. He wanted to be a football player.

467
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 2: And even if it wasn't like I want to do

468
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 2: that professionally, it's like that's the sport I want to play.

469
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: I'm drawn to that.

470
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 2: My mom bought a VHS tape of the greatest injuries

471
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 2: in NFL history. I remember that being in our VHS

472
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 2: collection and her just being like, yeah, I bought this

473
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: to discourage him. I mean, he still went on to play,

474
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 2: and he walked on in college. But I was like

475
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 2: the notion that you'd be like, that's what you want

476
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 2: to do. I don't want you to go down that path.

477
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to show everything dark.

478
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 1: And yeah about that.

479
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 3: Well, one thing I remember my mom doing was we say,

480
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 3: we just said. This was like during that year period

481
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 3: where I'd bring it up to her, you know. She

482
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 3: she sat me down in front of the TV and

483
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 3: it was just like, let's wait for the first Asian

484
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 3: face off.

485
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 4: Oh, savage, savage and also and yeah, and we you know,

486
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 4: it was like I don't even remember, I don't even

487
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 4: think we saw one, you know.

488
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 3: And it was like she was like, that's my point.

489
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 1: Of course.

490
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 2: Of course, there's no model for it, and there's nothing

491
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: linear about it. So you can't say to them, hey,

492
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this, this and this, and it's

493
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: going to lead to this the way like going to

494
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 2: medical school, it's takes step one, step two, and then

495
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 2: at the end of those steps, I'm here. That's right,

496
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 2: I just can't say that, and all that uncertainty is not.

497
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: Not something that would put one's mind at ease.

498
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and those first you know, that first decade plus,

499
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 3: it was like, oh my god, they're right. Yeah, this

500
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 3: is so hard.

501
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: Yeah.

502
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 2: And you didn't take any of your challenges to them

503
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: then because you're like, I don't want them to feel

504
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: like they're right and I don't want to be discouraged.

505
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 3: I want to hear and I told you so yeah

506
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 3: god no, yeah, yeah.

507
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: So much of that resonates with me.

508
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 2: Do you feel like there were things you could talk

509
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: to your dad about where it's like Mom is good

510
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: to talk to about this thing.

511
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: Dad is really good for this.

512
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:19,239
Speaker 3: Thing with my dad, Mom, not really, not really, you know,

513
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 3: it was it was very uh, I don't know. We

514
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 3: just talked about kind of the day, and you know,

515
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 3: it wasn't like there weren't like deep personal kind of

516
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 3: things that I felt like I could bring to him, right, No, right, yeah,

517
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 3: that was more my mom.

518
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: Okay.

519
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 3: Ye.

520
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 2: And when you were like pursuing acting and feeling discouraged

521
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 2: and feeling frustrated and knowing you couldn't take it to

522
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 2: your parents and knowing like Okay, Dad and I are

523
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: not going to have some deep conversation. Were there other

524
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 2: male figures in your life with whom you did think

525
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 2: you could have those sorts of conversations.

526
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know, I was doing theater, I

527
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 3: was doing stand up for a long time. I was

528
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 3: doing sketch and improv, and so I had like a

529
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 3: community of fellow actors who I really depended on and

530
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 3: who I got a lot of encouragement from. Ye. But

531
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 3: also like teachers at acting school classes I was always

532
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 3: in and I had teachers who were who very much

533
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 3: serve that purpose. Yeah.

534
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 1: Does anyone stand out in particular? Teachers wise?

535
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 3: Teachers wise, Oh gosh, yeah, yeah, there were there were

536
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 3: a few. But there was a there's a school out

537
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 3: here in La run by this guy named John Rosenfeld,

538
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 3: who I was with for years.

539
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: I know that name. Yeah.

540
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 2: You're being a young actor pursuing and trying.

541
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: To find an acting class.

542
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I really enjoyed his class and got

543
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 3: a lot from that experience. Yeah.

544
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 2: Was there like a moment you can remember though, when

545
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 2: you go, I feel like my dad is proud of

546
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 2: what it is I'm pursuing. So like you're pursuing it

547
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 2: behind their back. Yeah, you're facing your own challenges, but

548
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: you have the community around you.

549
00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

550
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 1: Is there a moment where.

551
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: It's like I would say, what you're doing on your

552
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 2: own connects to your family life, and they go, oh,

553
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: we know what he's up to and we're proud.

554
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think slowly that that happened slowly, Like like

555
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 3: first thing they would they saw me on a commercial,

556
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 3: you know, when they were like, oh, that's that's that's cool.

557
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 1: Did you show it to them or did they No?

558
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 3: I did not show it to them.

559
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 1: You didn't they saw the commercial in that Oh.

560
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 3: I did not show it to them? Okay, yeah, And

561
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: then I would my name would pop up in the

562
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 3: Korean newspaper and that was like a big big deal.

563
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: It was that first, like what jobs?

564
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: First? It was like commercials and you know, and I

565
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 3: was there was a stretch when I was doing a

566
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 3: ton of commercials.

567
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: I could never book a commercial to save my life.

568
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 2: It was so crazy because everyone was like commercials, that's

569
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: your foray into this thing, and you guys should draw

570
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 2: my eyebrows onto aggressively and looking back at pictures, I go, oh, yeah,

571
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 2: those eyebrows are very off putting. I think it was

572
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 2: the eyebrows. Honestly, that's a.

573
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 3: Great energy that I would buy stuff off of it.

574
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: Thank you, Randall, thank you. This is the kind of

575
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 1: stuff I want to hear from a dad.

576
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I really And looking back, I go, what

577
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: was it? Because all my friends were booking commercials and

578
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: it's how people were like subsidizing their life, pursuing acting

579
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 2: to get in TV and film, and it just could

580
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 2: not happen for me. And I ended up booking at

581
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 2: a cholesterol medication commercial nine years into my time in

582
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 2: La yea months before I got SNL air that did air,

583
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 2: and it was airing while I was on SNL, and

584
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 2: I remember someone tweeted at me, like, are you in

585
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 2: a cholesterol medication commercial?

586
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 3: I mean those could potentially keep going, so like.

587
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 2: It takes for my life. It was like little six

588
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: figure Mama. That year, I was like, oh, broke for

589
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 2: the first time. So there were commercials and then what was.

590
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 3: And then they saw that I was, like you just said,

591
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 3: not broke for the first time. They saw that I

592
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 3: was making a living, that I was like eating like

593
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 3: healthy food for one see now and taking care of

594
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 3: myself a little better. And I think they slowly started

595
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,159
Speaker 3: to to kind of be okay with yes, you know.

596
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: And they're not saying it, but you're noticing them ease

597
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: up around the topic.

598
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: As my guess, Yes, for sure, for sure.

599
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: Did you have to borrow money from your parents during

600
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 1: your pursuit?

601
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:13,959
Speaker 3: I did early early on.

602
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 2: Can you help paint that picture for me? Is this

603
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: like they know you're pursuing it, or do you tell

604
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 2: them like I need to borrow money because like my

605
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: job's direct deposit didn't hit well.

606
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,719
Speaker 3: There were periods where I would lose a job and

607
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 3: be unemployed and I'd have a share an apartment with somebody,

608
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 3: and you know, and I would need help and they

609
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 3: would like, help me out.

610
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: There's a job, like an acting job or like a

611
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: day job, a day job.

612
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 3: Got yeah, okay, And then there was a period where

613
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 3: I would move back home, so they helped me in

614
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 3: that way, you know. Yeah, And there was you know,

615
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 3: into my thirties, I was living with my parents.

616
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 2: I was just going to ask you how old were

617
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 2: you when you were maybe like still living at home?

618
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, in my thirties.

619
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: Hard to pursue a career in this There are harder things,

620
00:27:58,359 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: I know, I'm not going to pretend it's the hardest

621
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: thing world, but it is such a peculiar path to pursue.

622
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 3: It is, I think statistically, I mean, it's got to

623
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: be one of the harder jobs to make a living act,

624
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 3: just because so many people want to do it.

625
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 2: So many people and so few jobs, especially at the

626
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 2: time you're pursuing. I'm not trying to age you again,

627
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: guys knows what you're thirty seven now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

628
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: you know you don't want to say you.

629
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 3: Really in my early thirties, thirties, Yeah.

630
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: Randall, you look great.

631
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

632
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 2: Okay, So they wouldn't help subsidize your life, say you

633
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: lost a day job or you have to move back

634
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 2: and was moving back in with your family. How did

635
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 2: that feel for them?

636
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,479
Speaker 3: They loved it.

637
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: That's what I think.

638
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: If I told my mom today that I was I

639
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 2: need to move back home into her house in Baltimore,

640
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: she wouldn't go, oh, I'm ashamed of my adult daughter.

641
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm just happy my daughter's home. Like there's

642
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 2: this like desire to have family too.

643
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: Totally. Yeah, And so they were happy, you know, whenever

644
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: I'd moved back, you know, and yeah. It always baffled

645
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: me when parents are like you, you're eighteen, you're out

646
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 3: of the house.

647
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you right now. Not the Nigerian

648
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: experience either.

649
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 2: It was like my mom just feels responsible for me

650
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: until the day she does.

651
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, absolutely, that's what it seems like it would be.

652
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

653
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 2: Now did your dad did you ever get to see

654
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: him upset?

655
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, okay, yeah, growing, like.

656
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: Crying upset when we talked about tears and me so

657
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: crying once.

658
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: Once what was well, no, once from from like heartache,

659
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 3: just when his sister passed. I saw it. I don't

660
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 3: think I was supposed to see it.

661
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw wow. Yeah, it was it like in

662
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: the room.

663
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 3: It was the year he was in the kitchen, you know,

664
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 3: the door was closed and I came in and he

665
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 3: was he was crying.

666
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: Did you retreat? What did you do in that moment?

667
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 2: Did you think, Okay, I don't think I'm spposed to

668
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 2: see this, I'm going to leave.

669
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: I think, I, like, you know, put my hand on him,

670
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 3: and then and then I you know, yeah, and then

671
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 3: I let him be you know yeah, yeah, ok. And

672
00:29:55,560 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 3: then then many years later I got I got an

673
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: Alumni of the Year award at ucl you know, and

674
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: I invited my family and gave this speech, and then

675
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 3: the speech, I really kind of just thanked them, you

676
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 3: know yeah, and and my dad was was crying.

677
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 2: I have chills now, I genuinely full body chills. That's beautiful.

678
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: I think when a parent gets to see their child

679
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 2: accomplish want a dream, especially if they're like, we're not

680
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 2: into the whole dreamer of it all.

681
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: We want you to have.

682
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 2: Stability, but you got to accomplish your dream, and then

683
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 2: to hear their child express gratitude and say, you are

684
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 2: such a big part of this thing that I've got

685
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: to do, I can only imagine how that that's so cool.

686
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was really it was. That was a

687
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: really special experience. And then and then I was like

688
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 3: many years later, I did the commencement speech at UCLA

689
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 3: and my parents were there and they were both just

690
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: like so proud, and it was like it kind of

691
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: you know, justify well for me, it justified you know,

692
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 3: kind of of going after it despite their you know,

693
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 3: being against it. But it also it also kind of

694
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 3: honored the fact that they supported me in a different way.

695
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: You know, they let me live in the house, they

696
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 3: let me, you know, they let me borrow money, They

697
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 3: did all these things that allowed me to pursue the

698
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 3: stream even though they were really against me pursuing this.

699
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

700
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, But did you just even having this new

701
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: perspective as you accomplish the things you had hoped to

702
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 2: accomplish and they get to see you do that, does

703
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: it feel like a start difference from when you were

704
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 2: pursuing it in that you kind of would have liked

705
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: their support and more verbalized it sounds like, did you

706
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 2: feel resentment at that time?

707
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: Yeah? I did. I did. I did feel resentment, and

708
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 3: I think, you know, it wasn't until you know, fresh

709
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 3: off the boat actually really helped me kind of see

710
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 3: things differently. And I think it's in part because I

711
00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 3: played an immigrant father, you know, but also I think

712
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 3: finding some success and being able to make a good

713
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 3: living at it, you know, it kind of took the

714
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 3: pressure off me a little bit, you know, and I

715
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 3: think without that pressure, I was able to understand them

716
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 3: a little better. And I wasn't in this kind of

717
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 3: mode of just like just go after it and block

718
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 3: out any negativity, and you know, I was just like

719
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 3: a little more open to understand go.

720
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 2: From having that tunnel vision of like I'm in pursuit

721
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: of this thing and yeah, I can't hear negativity. I

722
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 2: have this one goal in mind, buck everything else you

723
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 2: had to go. Okay, I can breathe, and I could

724
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 2: see the world a little more for what it is,

725
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: and yeah, it looks bigger. That's very very cool. But

726
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 2: also I went to college. I've sometimes I don't know

727
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 2: how to do this podcast, and I'm like, I kind

728
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 2: of touch on the same stories over and over again

729
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 2: now and I haven't touched on this one. But I

730
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: feel like I had a very like Lady Bird moment

731
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: when I got to college where I realized, like my

732
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 2: mom was just a human trying her best. Yeah, and

733
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 2: you know, I wanted my mom to be one way

734
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: and she just wasn't that way. We got along well,

735
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 2: but we also butt heads a bit. It was very strange.

736
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: We were very close though, yes, but like when I realized, like, oh,

737
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: she's just trying her best, and oh my gods, she

738
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: gave me so many gifts and I'm so proud of

739
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: the morals she instilled in me.

740
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: And I wasn't aware that that's what she was doing.

741
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: But now that I'm out in the world and the

742
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: world is bigger and I'm meeting other people who grew

743
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 2: up in different households, I'm like, ah, thank god you.

744
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 1: Were instilling these values in me.

745
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's a shame or if it's

746
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 2: just the way life is supposed to go, that hindsight

747
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 2: is twenty twenty, as they say, or that you just

748
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 2: have a new perspective the.

749
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: Older you get.

750
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 2: Yes, because part of me wishes that, like, while we're young,

751
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: we go I know what they're doing, They're just.

752
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 3: I know, I know, and you know that I do feel,

753
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 3: you know, because my dad recently passed, and I do

754
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 3: feel some guilt, you know that I wasn't a better son,

755
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: you know, and I wish I would have been there more.

756
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 3: And then you know, yeah, but at the same time,

757
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 3: it's you know, I I know how much I meant

758
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 3: to them, and I know how much they mean to

759
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 3: me and my dad, and you know, I have always

760
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 3: loved my dad.

761
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, And it's also like you hear like

762
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: people speak about love languages, and we were like, my

763
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 2: dad was not going to say.

764
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,439
Speaker 1: I love you while we were young.

765
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: That that just wasn't something I was going to experience

766
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 2: from him, but he showed his love in other ways.

767
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:25,760
Speaker 2: I really think love languages people, they really do matter.

768
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 2: And if you have to be able to interpret someone

769
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 2: else's language and receive.

770
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: It for what it is.

771
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know, hearing the words I love you,

772
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: it's wonderful, you know, and beautiful. But it's easy to

773
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 3: say that. It's easy. But if you can speak, you

774
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 3: can say, you can say it, and you can all

775
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 3: say it and it doesn't Oh my gosh.

776
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 2: A lot of I've had people say it to me

777
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 2: and Randall, you know, some of.

778
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: My stories of your stories, I had people say it.

779
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: To me and you go, yes, it's maybe not easy

780
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: to say if you try to be sincere and your

781
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 2: feelings and your words are integrated and you're trying to

782
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 2: be say things you mean, and things can feel uncomfortable, vulnerable,

783
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 2: but it is a thing like if you can talk,

784
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: you can say I love you. But love is as

785
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: they say, a verb, yes, yes, and it's an action

786
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: that you experience and show love in reality.

787
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what. The interesting thing about I feel

788
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 3: like about my life, at least in one way, is

789
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 3: that you know, I have a daughter, and she's twelve now,

790
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,320
Speaker 3: and she's so crazy about her, like she is my everything.

791
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 3: And she's on the autism spectrum, and her verbal communication

792
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 3: is very limited, you know, and so it's not like

793
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: we can even have that kind of communicative exchange that

794
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 3: I always longed for as a kid with my parents.

795
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 3: You know, I can't have that with my daughter. But

796
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 3: I also I don't care. I just know how I

797
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 3: feel about her. I'm I'm always going to be there

798
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 3: for her. I know she loves me. She does not

799
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 3: to say it, I just know she does. And you know,

800
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 3: and I feel like that's like a lesson for me

801
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 3: in my life based on my upbringing and that, but

802
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 3: also my daughter's upbringing. It's like, you know, the words

803
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 3: are important, but you know it's it's really just the

804
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 3: actions and the feeling and the intention and what's in

805
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 3: your heart. You know that that's what really matters, right, Yeah.

806
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: And I don't want to put words in your mouth,

807
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 2: but it seems like to becoming a father for you

808
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: did give you a whole new perspectiveness about your relationship

809
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 2: with your father and the kind of dad he was.

810
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it took that to do it, like really

811
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: to really work.

812
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 3: Sure, Yeah, I think I think having a kid definitely

813
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 3: being a TV Dawn flush off the boat was like,

814
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 3: I mean that it happened around the same time, like

815
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 3: when we when we had our kid. But it really

816
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: was being a father myself that gave me that perspective.

817
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really remarkable. Now you have your own daughter,

818
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 2: you have your own family. Now you're the dad. You

819
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 2: are a father, you're her father, you're my father.

820
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, yeah, yeah.

821
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 2: What did your father instill in you that you now

822
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 2: employ or would like to instill in your daughter.

823
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 3: Well, one thing about my dad was that he was

824
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 3: very It's very interesting because after he passed away, you know,

825
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 3: you go through your father's stuff, you know, and you know,

826
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 3: and for some people it's this daunting task because there's

827
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,919
Speaker 3: just so much stuff to go through, you know, paperwork

828
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: and bills and you know, but also possessions, things that

829
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: they owned, you know, and you learn about your parents

830
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 3: from the things that they collect, you know. And my

831
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 3: dad had nothing, hardly anything. You had very few possessions,

832
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 3: you know, just a few things. It was, you know,

833
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 3: and it was really surprising to me because I thought

834
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 3: he had more things. All the things that he like

835
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 3: had and coveted were things that I gave him as

836
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 3: gifts after I became more successful, and he loved those things.

837
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 3: But that was like it, you know, And that was

838
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 3: something that he instilled in me in the sense that

839
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 3: it's like things are great, yes, and it's fun to

840
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 3: have things, but they don't they're not that important, you know.

841
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 3: And he was very much one to keep his world

842
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: very small. You know, he's just his family. You know.

843
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 3: He did have some friends that he saw, went to work,

844
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 3: worked hard, came back home. You know. He had a

845
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 3: very kind of simple approach to life. And I think

846
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 3: that's something that I take with me all the time,

847
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 3: and that's something that I want to instill in Ruby,

848
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 3: you know, just to you know, what matters most are

849
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 3: the things around you, the people around you, you know,

850
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 3: the neighbors, the community, or your friends and and and

851
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 3: us you know, and and there will always be love there,

852
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 3: you know. And everything else is great and fun and

853
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 3: do it. Yes, pursue what you want to pursue, but

854
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 3: it's not everything.

855
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 2: You know, it's beautiful. That's really beautiful. Now, did you

856
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 2: have a sense of that before you had gone through

857
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: his things, that that was something that he really valued.

858
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 3: I did have a sense of that, yeah, I did.

859
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 3: But seeing it, you know, like literally like accounting for

860
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 3: like his things was really kind of eye opening.

861
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

862
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 3: It was really eye opening. And and also seeing and

863
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 3: as far as like his bank account. And I mean

864
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 3: both of my parents did not have a lot of money,

865
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 3: you know, they they really gave us this great life

866
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 3: with very little. Yeah.

867
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, remarkable, it really is.

868
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, said he worked up until pretty close to the

869
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: time he died. As well, now that you've made it,

870
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 2: you have money, you've achieved success. Were you trying to

871
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: get him to retire? Did you want to pay for

872
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 2: and subsidize his life? Yeah, the way it had helped

873
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 2: with yours. What was that relationship?

874
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 3: I mean I did, I liked help them pay off

875
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 3: the house and put my daut a car, and you know,

876
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:30,760
Speaker 3: and and I did give them things, But but I

877
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 3: I knew how much working was just like a part

878
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 3: of who he was.

879
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

880
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 3: So yeah, and none of us in the family were like,

881
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 3: let's tell him to stop and relax, you know, like

882
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,359
Speaker 3: because that just wasn't him, you know. Yeah. So when

883
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 3: he when he did get sick and he did end

884
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 3: up leaving that job. We kind of knew that was

885
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: the beginning of something, you know. Yeah, yeah, because he

886
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 3: was a worker. He loved to work, yeah said before.

887
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 2: You know, in terms of retirement, so many of my

888
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: first gen friends and even myself, I'm like, parents do

889
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: not have retirement funds, and it's like what they know

890
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: is to work. Yeah, And I think my mom even

891
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 2: dabbled with retirement. And then it was like, I go,

892
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 2: you seem more alive when you work for her. That's

893
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 2: whether she likes it, that's my thought or not. I

894
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: just go, oh, you just seem more yourself to me.

895
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 2: And that can sound I don't want that to be misconstrued,

896
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 2: but I'm like, you just seem more yourself and more

897
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 2: gregarious and such when you're working. Yeah, And seeing you

898
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: dabble with retirement, I go, I don't even know if

899
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 2: that quite suits you.

900
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think for my dad, like a big kind

901
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 3: of part of his identity was being a provider, you know,

902
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 3: And so I think in that sense, like work was

903
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 3: it was a part of who he was, you know.

904
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 3: I mean, my mom is retired and she loves it. Yeah,

905
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 3: So it's just.

906
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: Like very different. Yeah, depends on the person.

907
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: But then you know, if that was like such a

908
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 2: part of his identity, I see how he would be like,

909
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep doing this as long as I

910
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:09,840
Speaker 2: can and I have the energy to do it.

911
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, that's right. Yeah.

912
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: So did you know you always wanted to be a dad?

913
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 3: Not necessarily, not until I met my wife?

914
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, all right, and then you go, I want

915
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: to I want to have a family with this. Yeah.

916
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,240
Speaker 3: Well we thought. We both were like, if it happens,

917
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 3: that'll be great. If it doesn't, that'll be great too.

918
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: Okay.

919
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 3: It wasn't like we had to become parents, you know,

920
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 3: And it wasn't like we like had to really try.

921
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 3: We were just like, if it happens, great, great, right yeah,

922
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 3: And then it happened.

923
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: And then it happened, And were you nervous, scared, excited?

924
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: Where were you?

925
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 3: All those things? All those things? Yeah, yeah, all those things.

926
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 3: It was, you know, it kind of happened before the

927
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 3: work really started coming for me, you know. So we

928
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 3: were we were still and we're both actors, my wife,

929
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: and so we were both like, we don't know if

930
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 3: we could afford this, you know. Yeah, So yeah, we

931
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 3: didn't know, and and but we were like, let's just

932
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 3: this is life. Let's let's live it and let's you know,

933
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 3: see what happens. And she came and she's the best

934
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 3: and brought it brings us so much joy all the time.

935
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 3: Ye know, so so it. Yeah, it's been such a blessing.

936
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

937
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: Did you ever ask your parents for any advice with

938
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 2: Ruby in terms of being a parent to Ruby or not?

939
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 1: Really?

940
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 3: Not really? Okay, not really. I mean my mom gave advice.

941
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you one thing about Grandma's Yeah.

942
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: My mom also given all kinds of advice to my

943
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: brother and sister in law.

944
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 1: Got it, advice, don't do that, do that? Why are

945
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 1: you doing that? Give her that?

946
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 3: And whenever she would, I mean, it got for me,

947
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 3: it got I don't know, I bristled at it sometimes

948
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 3: because it felt like she every time she said it

949
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 3: I had I'd interpret it as you're a bad parent

950
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: and do this.

951
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: You know.

952
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 3: It was that that kind of Korean mom criticism, you know, Yeah,

953
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 3: and I just had in my head, you know.

954
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 2: Okay, you're able to say it made you bristle, Yeah,

955
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: but then did you know when you're bristling and then,

956
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 2: like say, two minutes later, You're like, Oh, it's because I.

957
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,879
Speaker 1: Feel like you're saying I'm a bad dad.

958
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 3: Yeah.

959
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh you knew.

960
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, and I would tell her yeah.

961
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Yeah. How was your dad with Ruby?

962
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 4: Oh?

963
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 3: My god, he's crazy about her, crazy about her. Yeah,

964
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 3: And that's another thing that I'm just so happy about

965
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 3: that he got to see her grow, you know, and

966
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 3: even you know, up until his last days, he'd be

967
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 3: in the hospital and he could barely move, you know,

968
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 3: he could barely you know, open his eyes. But whenever

969
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 3: she would come in the room, he would smile so big,

970
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:57,760
Speaker 3: and it was just like, really really really wonderful.

971
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 2: When you talk about love and people showing love and

972
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: being able to say it is one thing, but then

973
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: being able to show it is another thing.

974
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, there is case in point.

975
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 2: Your your dad can't do much, say much, but it's

976
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 2: like his whole spirit lights up in the room.

977
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: That's so cool.

978
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really really beautiful.

979
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: That's really really cool. So, Okay, what kind of things

980
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 2: do you and Ruby doing? Can I come? Yeah, I'm

981
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 2: joking and I'm like, I'm coming.

982
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

983
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 3: Do you like pizza?

984
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 2: I love pizza? I love eating random? Yes, I know

985
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 2: that's problematic.

986
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 3: I know this about you and Ruby.

987
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: Okay, we would get a lot.

988
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:40,359
Speaker 3: Yeah.

989
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: What kind of pizza does Ruby like? Most?

990
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 3: Just cheese.

991
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, classic Gaplassic.

992
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 3: Okay, very quick New York style, she loves Okay.

993
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: Have you taken her to a deep dish place?

994
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 3: Yes?

995
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: And what she was not into it?

996
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 3: I get it.

997
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: It took me a long time to come around on

998
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: deep dish.

999
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 2: I love deep dish really off the bat, yeah, off

1000
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 2: the bat. I went to Masa when I a Echo Park,

1001
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 2: which is a deep Dish place here, I think, let's

1002
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 2: say ten years ago, for the first time, and I

1003
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 2: was like, this is disgusting. But then I had to

1004
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 2: go back a second time and be like, you have

1005
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: to go in knowing that this is not going to

1006
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: be your thing. Crust pizza different. Yes, you have to

1007
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 2: go in understanding, and then it's good.

1008
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's almost not a pizza in a way.

1009
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 3: It's like it's it's like.

1010
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: A bread a bread bowl.

1011
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then you go, okay, yes, that's that could

1012
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 2: be enjoyable too, love it.

1013
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: It's really really good.

1014
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. But she loves pizza. She loves you know, all

1015
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 3: the kid foods. Yeah, she loves, she loves like noodles

1016
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 3: and like Asian food.

1017
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: You know, do you guys hit pine and Crane? Ever,

1018
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 2: she wouldn't, She wouldn't like piney Crane.

1019
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: I pine and Crane is so good. But does she

1020
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 1: like Ramen?

1021
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 3: Then she loves her?

1022
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: Okay, so Ruby and I can go eat pizza together.

1023
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 2: I'll let her have Ramen on her own with you,

1024
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: because I don't think I care for Ramen, and I

1025
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 2: don't know some people.

1026
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 3: Who are very like Yes, yes, they're.

1027
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 1: Not the same, so let's be clear about that.

1028
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know folks who have that exact same opinion,

1029
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 3: and I get it.

1030
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's something me and Ramen and don't. But there

1031
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 2: are things that I don't like that people just really love.

1032
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 2: And as a person who's a foodie, I'll go, well,

1033
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 2: I need to find a way to like that, because

1034
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 2: I feel like.

1035
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: If you're a foodie, you like this shit like this,

1036
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 1: such as olips.

1037
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: I've come to I've truly trained myself to like olives.

1038
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 3: So if you could train yourself to like something, yeah,

1039
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 3: you probably could potentially like everything.

1040
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 2: Right, potentially, Yes, you know what I don't like, and

1041
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: I don't think I'll ever come around on saffron.

1042
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 3: Saffron Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Do you like a

1043
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 3: saffron like rice dish?

1044
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 2: No, my gosh, immediately hard. No, I can taste it.

1045
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah.

1046
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 2: I went to a coffee shop in Oakland a few

1047
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: days ago and I got their signature hi, and I

1048
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 2: was like, can you tell me what's in it? Because

1049
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 2: I know you're best known for this, and they were like, oh, Carter,

1050
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 2: Mom's cinnamon. Everything sounded good, and then she goes saffron.

1051
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:09,879
Speaker 1: I go, oh no.

1052
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 2: But then I was like, maybe I'll like it since

1053
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 2: everyone else does not saffron, but the drink okay, And

1054
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 2: I go, I'm going to try it because it's got

1055
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: such great reviews. And I was like, I hate this beverage.

1056
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 2: I didn't take it back. I finished it, I made,

1057
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 2: but I didn't.

1058
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 3: I didn't exactly.

1059
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: I don't like this.

1060
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1061
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 1: She asked me how it was. I go, it's great, and.

1062
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 2: I hated it. It's the truth doesn't matter. So you pizza.

1063
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 3: We're going to eat, I mean, really, all the kid foods.

1064
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 3: And we're trying to expand her palette. Okay, she's tough.

1065
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 2: She's like, I like what I like and I respect

1066
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: that about her. Yes, what kind of dad would ruby say?

1067
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 1: You are?

1068
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 3: Well? She wouldn't say, because she's not right, but she

1069
00:48:54,719 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 3: would spiritually, she would say, I'm probably a little too

1070
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 3: smothering because I just I'm so crazy about it.

1071
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 1: He's obsessed, so obsessed with me. Damn.

1072
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 3: So I'm always, you know, always giving her hugs always,

1073
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 3: you know. I guess in some ways helicoptery, you know,

1074
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 3: because I'm always like worried. I just want her to

1075
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 3: be safe, you know. I would, of the two of us,

1076
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 3: my wife and I, I would say I'm a little

1077
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:30,720
Speaker 3: more strict.

1078
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: Okay, I was going to ask, there's going to be

1079
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: a question.

1080
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 3: I have to know. I'm a little bit more of

1081
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 3: a disciplinarian, a little bit more kind of adamant about

1082
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 3: certain things, you know, like you you can't be on

1083
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 3: the iPad too much, you can't, you know. And but

1084
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 3: but she would, I mean, she would know right off

1085
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 3: the bat that my dad loves me and it's crazy

1086
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 3: about me.

1087
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:56,319
Speaker 2: Beautiful, that's beautiful and key. I'm like, you know, I

1088
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 2: did not have a helicopter dad. What's it when a

1089
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 2: helicopter is like not around?

1090
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 3: When a helicopter.

1091
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 1: And you're like, I think that's a helicopter, it's a bird,

1092
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: it's a play.

1093
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, the helicopters in another another country.

1094
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: That's what I had. So I'm like, I always wonder.

1095
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,439
Speaker 2: I'm like, do people like their helicopter dads when when

1096
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 2: they hear about how other people's dads are not present

1097
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 2: or are even quite stoic or do you use previously?

1098
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, they go, I.

1099
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 2: Would take a helicopter dad over the one I have.

1100
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 2: But I do think the grass is always greener by

1101
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 2: the way, Yeah, yeah.

1102
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know, she's getting to

1103
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: an age now where I think it's getting annoying a

1104
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 3: little bit. You know.

1105
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, I can't help I.

1106
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:43,280
Speaker 3: Love this girl.

1107
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: That is very cool. Do you think you and your

1108
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:46,280
Speaker 1: wife have other kids?

1109
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, yes, but I would say I'm more I'm

1110
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 3: more all about my kid and you know, and I'm like,

1111
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 3: if someone has a baby, my wife wants.

1112
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: To hold that baby, okay's baby.

1113
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 3: I want to look at the baby, make cases, but

1114
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 3: I do not want to hold the baby, right, but

1115
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 3: I fear Okay, yeah.

1116
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: What has been one of your scariest moments as a dad?

1117
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 3: Scariest moments as a dad.

1118
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, yeah, like young, when Ruby was young.

1119
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean maybe a couple of years ago. She

1120
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 3: broke her arm really bad. And when I was a

1121
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 3: kid around her age at that same time, I broke

1122
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 3: my arm and I remember my parents freaking out, like, yeah,

1123
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 3: she tripped over like a hose in our front yard

1124
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,879
Speaker 3: and her arm just at her forearm, just.

1125
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: Snap the bone sticking out of the skin.

1126
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 3: It wasn't sticking clean out, but you could see it

1127
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 3: kind of you could see it looking through Yeah, and

1128
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: that was really scary and traumatic for me. But also,

1129
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 3: like you know, I don't know, I kind of clicked

1130
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 3: into kind of like you know, dad mode and like, okay,

1131
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 3: we got to do this. You got to take her

1132
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 3: to the hospital.

1133
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:05,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, when that happened, what did you feel Those parents

1134
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 2: are like, You're like, yes, this is scary, but I

1135
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 2: clicked into dad mode. It gets she gets a scan

1136
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 2: and then a cast, and then the doctor told you

1137
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 2: all the things to do. What's your thought after not

1138
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 2: the worst of it is behind you, did you have

1139
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 2: any thoughts about it and did.

1140
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 1: You feel like it reflected on you as a parent

1141
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: or anything like that?

1142
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: Well, I marveled at her okay, because she was just

1143
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 3: so chill, and I was like, how can you be

1144
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 3: so chill?

1145
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe you don't have to worry about Ruby so much?

1146
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 3: Was your age and this happened to me. I was

1147
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: crying so much.

1148
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,439
Speaker 2: You know what they say, the guys are a little

1149
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 2: more dramatic than the girls, That's what they say.

1150
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: That's what you know.

1151
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 3: I was screaming.

1152
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 2: Have you heard about this experiment where they like simulate

1153
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 2: period cramps.

1154
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,720
Speaker 1: On men and then men are like, oh my god,

1155
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 1: are you handling and living your life like this? You're

1156
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 1: experiencing this or you're going to work?

1157
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I believe it.

1158
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 2: Okay, that's an experiment that's happened, and yeah, I think

1159
00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: I believe it.

1160
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: Of course for me was cool.

1161
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was just so cool, so chill. And and

1162
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 3: the other thing was I felt a little guilt because

1163
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 3: I was on watch when the helicopter. Dad was on

1164
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 3: watch when it happened.

1165
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: Not so helicopter.

1166
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 3: And but also I don't know, I felt I felt

1167
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 3: very I felt a lot of gratitude too, oddly, you know,

1168
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 3: in that we you know, she had such a great

1169
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 3: doctor and and and we were able to you know,

1170
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 3: kind of take care of her as a parent, would

1171
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 3: you know, like just the fact that we were able

1172
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 3: to do that simple thing and in such an you know,

1173
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 3: unusual kind not unusual because it happens a lot, but

1174
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,399
Speaker 3: you know, in such a specific type of circumstance, there

1175
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 3: was a little bit of oh wow, we did it.

1176
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:50,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, so now you know you can you can probably

1177
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 2: handle anything as a dad.

1178
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:56,440
Speaker 1: Frankly, in my mind, I'm like, Ruby broke her arm,

1179
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: you can handle it.

1180
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And that's such a you know, little thing.

1181
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,760
Speaker 3: It's like it happens to kids all the time. But

1182
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 3: but yeah, it was, it was. It was very jarring.

1183
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1184
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 2: I've asked a few people this, and I find it

1185
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 2: to be an interesting question, which is, guys, why I

1186
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 2: keep asking it?

1187
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 1: But do you care if Ruby or would you like

1188
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,240
Speaker 1: Ruby to see.

1189
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 2: You as a friend at some point in her life?

1190
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:27,839
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, no, not necessarily, but I do want her

1191
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 3: to feel comfortable enough with us to come to us

1192
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 3: at any time with anything.

1193
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 1: You know.

1194
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes there is a delineation between what you

1195
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 3: can bring to your parents and what you could bring

1196
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 3: to your friends. I knew that growing up, right, you.

1197
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 1: Just kind of know. Yeah, I don't even know how

1198
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 1: you come to know.

1199
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, where You're like, some friends are the type to

1200
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 2: talk to their parents just growing up about all their boyfriends. Yeah,

1201
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I didn't have those, but also if

1202
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 2: I did, I would not. I'm like, I'm not going

1203
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:00,399
Speaker 2: to come talk to my mom.

1204
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but you just kind of know which and

1205
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 3: I want her to feel like she could if she

1206
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 3: needed to. But I'm also okay with her having.

1207
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:15,240
Speaker 5: Her life, yes, and her her secrets and her experiences,

1208
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 5: you know, as long as like she knows when she's

1209
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 5: not safe, feeling not safe or feeling sad or you

1210
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 5: know that that were there.

1211
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:24,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1212
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, with your parents and your dad specifically, did you

1213
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: feel like you did have to keep secrets from them?

1214
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 2: Like you obviously mentioned secrets, I'm like, oh yeah, and

1215
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 2: I know the career pursuit was one of them, but

1216
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 2: there were other things I'm not bringing.

1217
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, like you know, just my dating.

1218
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 1: I didn't bring any of that to them.

1219
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 3: No, not, not really, not until you.

1220
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:49,919
Speaker 1: Were ready to marry your wife.

1221
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 3: Were you like, No, there was there were a few

1222
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 3: girlfriends before my wife that long term girlfriends that I

1223
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 3: brought to them, and you know, they they would see

1224
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 3: and get to know, and but there were shorter term

1225
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,319
Speaker 3: girlfriends that they didn't meet.

1226
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 2: Well that's every dude out here like you don't get

1227
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: to meet the parents.

1228
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's not what this is. Yeah, and then

1229
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 3: all the other stories you know, we're not you know,

1230
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 3: or or stories that they weren't privy to.

1231
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: Okay.

1232
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 2: You also mentioned being like, why can't my parents when

1233
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 2: we first started this conversation be like this other friend's

1234
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 2: parents was one of the things you wish that they

1235
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 2: were like, is like did you have friends that were

1236
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 2: telling their parents like oh yeah, oh yeah, And did

1237
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 2: you want that at the time? Now do you appreciate

1238
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,360
Speaker 2: that that was not the case?

1239
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1240
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that's kind of me too.

1241
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I didn't mean to put.

1242
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 1: That all on you. Was all very leading questions.

1243
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 2: In a point of law, the judge would have been like, objection,

1244
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 2: you're asking leading questions.

1245
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,719
Speaker 3: Yes, I yeah, for sure, I like, you know, I

1246
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 3: always had those people that I could that I could

1247
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 3: talk about those things with. Yeah, and those things would

1248
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 3: have would have upset my all.

1249
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: Right, you just know, you go, I don't need to

1250
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 1: we don't need to share that You're it's fine for

1251
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: you to be my mom and my dad, that's okay. Yes,

1252
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: And that's different from my friend or even a confidant

1253
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 1: in that way.

1254
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,799
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, But I mean that's great if someone does

1255
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 3: have that relationship.

1256
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: But that's great, that's also great.

1257
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Randall, I end every episode of this podcast

1258
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 2: asking my dad for the day.

1259
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 1: Yes, and so in this case, you okay for a

1260
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 1: piece of advice.

1261
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 3: Yes, please be honest.

1262
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you I'm your dad, my dad.

1263
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, oh goodness.

1264
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 2: I'm getting nervous, but okay, because I never had this,

1265
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,440
Speaker 2: so every time I get to do sometimes these are silly,

1266
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 2: silly questions. So I have friends who like drugs, Yeah, okay,

1267
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 2: we're not talking weed, okay, or maybe for the case

1268
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 2: of the podcast, we could be talking weed. Realizing everyone

1269
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 2: gets to hear this, No, I have I have friends

1270
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 2: who like drugs, and you should try drugs. There are

1271
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 2: drugs I would never try in my entire life, and

1272
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 2: I think.

1273
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 3: For example, for example, heroin.

1274
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 2: Heroin, We're not going to dabble. I don't need to try.

1275
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 2: I don't even think you're allowed to try heroin. I

1276
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 2: think if you try heroin, you're gonna start doing heroin?

1277
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 2: Is my understanding, my guest, I don't know either. But

1278
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 2: the DARE program was really effective in terms of how

1279
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: it impacted me.

1280
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 3: I think I did.

1281
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 1: I think the DARE program did exactly.

1282
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 3: What was until college.

1283
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 2: Oh okay, he was having fun in college and that's

1284
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 2: one of those secrets you were.

1285
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 1: Keeping from the family.

1286
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 2: Okay, very good. Well see Dad, I'm bringing this to you.

1287
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 2: I also want to google when we leave here what

1288
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 2: happened to DARE and why it was dismantled and why

1289
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 2: it doesn't exist anymore. That's what everyone's doing drugs now,

1290
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 2: Like everyone's doing drugs. That's okay, So Dad, that's that's

1291
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 2: what I'm coming to. With everyone's doing drugs. How do

1292
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 2: I draw the line on what drugs to do and

1293
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 2: which drugs not to do? Is this a publicist nightmare

1294
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 2: for you? By the way, right now? Am I getting

1295
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 2: you in hot water?

1296
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: Okay? Girl? Man, that's the name of the episode.

1297
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 3: I'm a grown man, so guess Okay, So when you

1298
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 3: ask this question you, what's what I'm inferring, yes, is

1299
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 3: that you're open to trying stuff, but you also want

1300
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 3: to create boundary certain boundaries.

1301
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, So like I'm not. I don't actually like the

1302
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 1: idea of drugs for me, right, But do you feel

1303
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 1: like one should?

1304
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 3: So are these drugs like like saffron to you? Like

1305
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 3: like like these friends are putting it in your drink?

1306
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 3: So god, those are maybe not maybe those enemies, but

1307
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 3: your friends are offering it and you feel like you

1308
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 3: have to take it and take I'm.

1309
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: Not okay, So here's what I'll say. I'm not even

1310
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 2: a like peer pressure girly, Dad. I actually don't succumb

1311
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 2: to peer pressure.

1312
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1313
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 2: I just I'm not a peer pressure person. But I

1314
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 2: wonder I guess what I'm trying to say. It's like,

1315
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 2: should I be more curious about these drugs that my

1316
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 2: friends are?

1317
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 1: Like?

1318
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 2: I do this and it's fine from me. I do

1319
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 2: this from time to time, and it's fine. What I'll

1320
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: tell you, Dad, Because we have the same genetics. You

1321
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 2: should know this already. Anyway, we have this half. You're

1322
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 2: half of my DNA today. I don't have an addictive personality.

1323
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 2: The only thing I am addicted to is sugar, and

1324
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 2: that's a real, like serious addiction.

1325
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 3: I have a candy addiction.

1326
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 2: But otherwise I don't have an addictive personality. Yes, so

1327
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 2: with that information, which you already knew because you are

1328
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 2: my dad for the day, I don't fear I'll become.

1329
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: Addicted to anything. I don't think so. But it's like,

1330
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 1: should I be open to trying drugs?

1331
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 3: I think that it's okay, okay, okay. I think that

1332
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 3: life is for experiencing things. But you don't have to

1333
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 3: ever feel the need to experience everything, okay, you know,

1334
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 3: because there's so many things. There's so many things. Yeah,

1335
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 3: it's like, do you you could murder a person just

1336
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 3: want to experience that?

1337
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 1: It was like to take another person's life? Im in jail?

1338
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't want to? Yeah, find and and drugs? Yeah?

1339
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:09,320
Speaker 3: It can be become a slippery slope or it cannot,

1340
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 3: you know. I would say, just be very aware of

1341
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 3: the people who are offering this, who are inviting you

1342
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 3: to be a part of this. Are they good people?

1343
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 3: You know? And and will they take care of you?

1344
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 3: You know? Are there are other people who will take

1345
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 3: care of you? Are they or are they troubled people

1346
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 3: who are using it to escape maybe certain things about

1347
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 3: their lives, you know, because that could be the reason

1348
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 3: why they're doing it, you.

1349
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, and.

1350
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 3: You are you don't have that issue at least, I

1351
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 3: mean at least to the extent maybe that that they might.

1352
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 3: You know, So I would if you do decide to

1353
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 3: try something, I would see it as very like much

1354
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 3: of it, I'm going to experience this once, okay, and

1355
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 3: I'm gonna know what it's like.

1356
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: Approach it with pure curiosity.

1357
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 2: But if there's like a part of me that is

1358
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 2: wanting to try it as a means of escapism, that's

1359
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:13,959
Speaker 2: probably that.

1360
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: Can be tricky and maybe be a little wary of.

1361
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think the big sign of that is

1362
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 3: you're doing it often, or you know, more than once,

1363
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 3: no twice, or you know, like you're you know, okay.

1364
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 3: But but I I personally feel like it's okay to

1365
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 3: try things okay as long as like you're safe, okay,

1366
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 3: you know okay. Yeah, I don't know. Some dads would

1367
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 3: be like absolutely not right.

1368
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 2: But I also think this is another thing I think

1369
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 2: has changed. Do you think about the DARE program. When

1370
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 2: I was in school, you had the DARE program where A, yeah,

1371
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, it was hard to know on drugs, And

1372
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 2: I think that sometimes again not apparent. I say it

1373
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 2: all the time, on this podcast. But I feel like

1374
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 2: when you create those hard boundary line, it just piques

1375
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 2: people's curiosity and interest in a way that it might

1376
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 2: not if you were like, let me tell you all

1377
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 2: about this thing, and I'm not telling you about this

1378
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 2: thing to be like, I'm not trying to make you

1379
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 2: fearful of this thing, because then they hear stories of

1380
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,560
Speaker 2: people who like tried it and had a fun and

1381
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 2: a nice time, and they go, well, I feel like

1382
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 2: you lied to me a little bit. Terrible, scary, dangerous

1383
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 2: this thing is. And now my relationship with drugs is

1384
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 2: weird because someone told me hard.

1385
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 3: No, I don't feel like, do you judge your friends

1386
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 3: a little bit who do drugs?

1387
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 2: If they do it too much? Honestly, and what is

1388
01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 2: too much? It's all relative. I feel like, I go, yeah,

1389
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 2: what are you running from? I do go, But now

1390
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 2: I'm worried about.

1391
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 3: It, and yeah, you know, and that will keep you

1392
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 3: from going down that path, yeah you know. Yeah.

1393
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like a little too type a need to

1394
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 2: be in control of the movement and my like, I

1395
01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 2: want the ox cord if we're going on the road trip,

1396
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 2: because I think I'm a good DJ, but I'm like

1397
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 2: a little too. That way, I'm going to surrender to

1398
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 2: whatever the highest.

1399
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 3: I don't feel like just knowing you, I don't feel

1400
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 3: like it would ever be a problem. Like, yeah, I

1401
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 3: really believe that.

1402
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 2: And if somehow, guys, I do develop a problem, we're

1403
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 2: gonna blame Randall Park.

1404
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:26,280
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, guys, Randall, thank.

1405
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,600
Speaker 3: You so much for coming podcast fun.

1406
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 2: It was so fun. Is there anything you would like

1407
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 2: to plug for listeners? It could be nothing.

1408
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, well we did a thing.

1409
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: We did a think Oh.

1410
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 3: My goodness, I don't know what when or.

1411
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:41,640
Speaker 2: What someone texted me about when it's coming out, but

1412
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 2: I kind of don't remember what the contents of the

1413
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 2: text said.

1414
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 3: Okay, it's Florida man. Yeah, it's Florida man. It's uh I.

1415
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 2: Think it's on HBO. Yeah, now maybe Max. Yeah, I

1416
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 2: don't have another three letter word. Yeah, I guess on

1417
01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 2: something and be out somewhere. It's gonna be out somewhere.

1418
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 2: I love that as a plug. We're on something and

1419
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 2: it's gonna be out somewhere. You heard it here, guys,

1420
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 2: Randal again, thank you for being my dad for the day.

1421
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 2: This has been an absolute pleasure. You are a pure delight.

1422
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, Thank you, guys, this has been

1423
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 2: Thanks Dad, Thank you for listening.

1424
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:19,520
Speaker 1: Thanks Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by

1425
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 1: me Igo o Odem.

1426
01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:23,919
Speaker 2: This show is engineered by Rochelle Chen and Anya Kanovskaya

1427
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 2: and edited by Rochelle Chen with executive producer Emma Foley.

1428
01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:31,400
Speaker 1: Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum.

1429
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 2: Thanks to Jason Matheni for our show art and Faris

1430
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:38,120
Speaker 2: Monshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum,

1431
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: visit headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your

1432
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 2: favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe,

1433
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 2: just maybe we'll read it on a future episode That

1434
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 1: Was a hit gum podcast