1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: It ain't the Jesse Kelly Show. Another hour of the 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,959 Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show. And we have a little bit of 3 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: breaking news here, so you know what time it is. 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: It's journalist Jesse. There's just no one. We love Jesse. 5 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: He's the best. Jesse. Please kiss my baby, Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: The Senate has voted to pass the Respect for Marriage Act. 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: They needed ten Republicans to vote for it. They found 8 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: the ten Republicans to vote for it. I'm not going 9 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 1: to break down every detail of it. All you need 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: to know is the Respect for Marriage Act has as 11 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: much to do with respect for marriage as the Inflation 12 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: Reduction Act had to do with reducing inflation. The ongoing 13 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: war that the LGBTQD demon mob is aging against the 14 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: American Church, this is simply an escalation in it. And 15 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 1: there are going to be activists knocking on the door 16 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: of your favorite religious institution synagogue, church, Jewish school, Catholic 17 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,759 Speaker 1: Catholic school, Christian church in about fifteen minutes after this 18 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: thing finally passes. There is a war going on within 19 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,759 Speaker 1: this country. It is a war against you. The government 20 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: is against you, the administrative state is against you. The 21 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: various portions of like I said, the LGBTQ demon mob 22 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: and the antifas and the blms and the climate change 23 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: nutters and the feminists, and they are all joining forces 24 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: against you. But I do want you to remember this. 25 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: You are not a tiny minority. You don't have any 26 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: of the national cultural institutions. We've lost them all, from 27 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: entertainment to the government to education, for we have none 28 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: of them. They own all of them completely. You were 29 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: not a tiny minority. They're going to make you think 30 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: you're a tiny minority, but you're not. And that actually 31 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,679 Speaker 1: leads to me exactly into where I was going anyway. 32 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: You see, they have forever, forever tried to silence and 33 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: shame Christian churches in the United States of America. The 34 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 1: Communists have Remember, any religious institution, any devout religious institution, 35 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: It's not unique to Christianity. Any unique religious or devout 36 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: religious institution in a nation will be assaulted and destroyed 37 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: by communists. It's not again, it's not unique to Christianity 38 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: and the Soviet Union where it took hold. Yes, there 39 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,519 Speaker 1: was an Orthodox church there, Priests crucified on the altars, 40 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: nuns gang raped, That's what it was, it doesn't have 41 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: to be that. And Mao Mao's China. It was the 42 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: Buddhist temples that was one of the that was one 43 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: of the religious polls of the culture where everything's centered 44 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: around it. They couldn't allow anything to rotate around anything 45 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: but communism. They killed the monks, burned down the temples. Cambodia, 46 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: same thing America. Same thing is going to happen here. 47 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: There are two major religious institutions that are under assault here, 48 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: Orthodox Judaism because they're all Republican or at least mostly, 49 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: and all the different parts of Christianity. I'm including Catholicism 50 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: in all that thing. Why is that, Well, that's because 51 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: you're viewed is the political enemy of the system, the 52 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: political enemy of the state. One of the most effective 53 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: weapons they have used for a long time against the Church, 54 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: against Orthodox Judaism, and it will actually be against Islam too. 55 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: You're starting to see America's Islamic community rise up and 56 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: realize what's happening. Their greatest tool, one of their greatest 57 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: tools to go in blow up, break up your church, 58 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: is gay marriage. Don't I don't care, by the way, 59 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: I don't care what you are or what you do. 60 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: That's not what this is about. We are talking about 61 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: gigantic political cultural wars that are taking place right now. 62 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: You see, you don't have to necessarily attack the church directly, 63 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: but you simply have to do is say no, no, no, no, 64 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: you churches, you Christian school do you you do whatever 65 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 1: you want? No, of course, I mean obviously gay marriage 66 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: is the law of the land, and you have to 67 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: do that. But other than that, you do whatever you want. 68 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: And then when your church opens up its Bible and says, 69 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: uh no that I can't. I can't do that that 70 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: goes against my belief system, then they say, oh, okay, lawbreaker, 71 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: I guess you're rebellion. You're in rebellion, looks like you're sued, 72 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: looks like your church is shut down. And you know 73 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: who I blame for this, believe it or not. I 74 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: actually don't blame the communists. I don't blame the LGBTQ 75 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: demon mob. I don't blame really anybody except for the 76 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: Christian pastors in the United States of America. Because look, 77 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: I've my mother was dragging me to church when I 78 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: was a kid and didn't care about anything. So I've 79 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: been in various churches and do you know how many 80 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: times I have heard pastors you name it, Southern Baptist 81 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: Church of Christ, non denomination, you name it. Do you 82 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: have any idea how many times I've heard pastors give 83 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 1: up and give sermons on Hey, look, we need to 84 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: be above politics here. Look, we're not getting involved in politics. 85 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: Just turn the other cheek, guys, love everybody. We're just 86 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: gonna love, love, love, and do our cheek turning. You 87 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: know what the communists, including the communist churches have been doing. 88 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: Oh here, let me give you a little sample. Raphael 89 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: Warnuck is a radical Communist nut job currently running to 90 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: be Senator in the Great State of Georgia. While you're 91 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: a white Christian, My white Christian Protestant pastor was turning 92 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: the other cheek. Guys, I want you to know how 93 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: the Communist pastors have been speaking openly for a long time. 94 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: Let me ask you something. You're pastor who turns the 95 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: other cheek, and he just wants to love everyone, and 96 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: we're not going to get involved. He's taking on this 97 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: pastor and his congregation. Who's going to win. This is 98 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 1: a spirit field church. We pray in the Holy Ghost. Here. 99 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: I want you to open your mouth and pray right now, 100 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: come on, do it. We plead the blood of Jesus. 101 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: We pray ahead your protection around you. We cover your body, 102 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: We cover your mind. By the way he's praying over 103 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,839 Speaker 1: Raphael Warnock, the abortion lover. We cover your staff, We 104 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: cover your family, we cover your church, we cover your finances, 105 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: we cover your future. We decree in declaire that you 106 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: will overcome because of the blood of the Lamb and 107 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: because of the word of your testimony. If God did 108 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: it before we decree, he's already done it again. And 109 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: we decree and declaring this holy place, it's already done 110 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: in Jesus's mighty name. Amen, and a man and a man, 111 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: will you help me give God praise? But a newly elected, 112 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: the reelected senator Raffael Warnot, help give God praise for 113 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: Rafael Warnock. Remember your pastor, I remember mine. Right after 114 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: Saint George Floyd died, my pastor actually got up and 115 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: gave a sermon talking about his white privilege. Oh no, 116 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: he's not mine anymore. We walked away and never went back. 117 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: But that's what my pastor was saying. This is what 118 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: their pastors says. I need you to help me give 119 00:07:53,360 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: God praise now. Give God praise now, and declare grace 120 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: all to him, saying, grace all me. If God did 121 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: it for him again, he'll do it with me again. Together, 122 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: thro your hands, a safe praase Jesus for abotion on demand. 123 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: Let's all gather around and go to the polls and 124 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: vote for Rafael Warnuck. That's what the Communists are saying. 125 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 1: That's what their pastors are saying. You know why, because 126 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: their pastors, as disgusting and misguided as they are, their 127 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 1: pastors intend to shape a culture the way they want 128 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: it to look. Your pastor, he's cheek turning. He's a loser, 129 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: and he's not up to the fight, and it's pathetic. 130 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: It's The truth is, it's not the fault of the 131 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: LGBTQ demon mob that they're assaulting the churches. It's not 132 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: Joe Biden's fault, Nancy Pelosi's fault, it's not the FBI, 133 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: d OJ. The truth is, we turned our cheek right 134 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: into being under assault in a way that I'm not 135 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: sure we can overcome. Your pastor, he should be leading 136 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: an army to the polls to stop teenage boys from 137 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: having having their penises chopped off by their doctor. Instead, 138 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: he's above all that. We're not Republican or democrat here, 139 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: we're loving a cheek turning, just loving a cheek turning 140 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: their pastor. He's by the blood of Jesus more knock, 141 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: it's gonna be senator again. Murder of the babies. You can, Raphael, 142 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: we love you. Who's interested in winning? Only one of them? 143 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: One's interested and looking good. The other one was interested 144 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: in winning. Now I'm gonna get off this next because 145 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get myself heated and we're gonna actually getta 146 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,199 Speaker 1: have some fun and we have some oh more ugly 147 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: conspiracy theory fodder. Now, before we get to that, let 148 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: me get to this really quickly. You know what drives 149 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: me crazy. Part of what I was just talking about is, well, 150 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: let's just hope for the best. Hey, let you know, 151 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: we don't have to get involved in politics. Hey, let's 152 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,839 Speaker 1: let's pray about it. Let's pray about it. Spray. I'm 153 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: not disparaging prayer, but you gotta follow up with a 154 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: little bit of action. Huh. That's why I talk to 155 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: you so often about putting your money where your morals are. 156 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 1: Did you go to the New Disney movie with the kid. 157 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: Your kid wanted to go looked fun, look like a 158 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: fun cartoon. Did you go celebrate that the teenage gay 159 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: couple in the movie you enjoy that? No, you didn't. 160 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: You didn't because you're starting to put your money where 161 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: your morals are. Have you done it with your cell 162 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: phone yet? By the way, remember you don't like CNN 163 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: because it's a wretched, despicable communist network. If you're an 164 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: AT and T customer, every month you send money to 165 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: CNN to keep Don Lemon on the air. Switch to 166 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 1: Pure Talk. Save a pile of money with the exact 167 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: same great coverage because it's on the exact same network. 168 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,719 Speaker 1: And when you dial pound two five zero and say 169 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly, that'll save you an additional fifty percent off 170 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:10,559 Speaker 1: your first month. Dial pound two five zero, say Jesse Kelly. 171 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. You're welcome. It 172 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: is the Jesse Kelly Show. Remember you can email me 173 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show dot com. Jesse at Jesse 174 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: Kelly show dot com. I'll get back to that thing 175 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: here and this is a quick second, and then we're 176 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 1: gonna have some some fun phone calls. I think here 177 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: in just a little bit, not quite yet, but I 178 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: have a question, Chris. I guess there's probably a question 179 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: for you because you're a car guy. So here's what happened. 180 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: I'm on the way home last night, you know, we 181 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: finished the show. Get in my Midlife Prices car and 182 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: I'm cruising home and I get in behind this pickup 183 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: truck and it's dark. Right the show at night, it's dark. 184 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: I get him behind this pickup truck cruising along, no 185 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: lights on. And I don't mean just like fog lights. 186 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 1: No lights on, so no tail lights unless he taps 187 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: the breaks. No headlights on. Okay, not a good thing. 188 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: We're on some road. I think that freed them was 189 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: fifty fifty five something like. That's removing, right, and then 190 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: there's other cars out there. Not a good thing. Well, 191 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: I want to help. I want to help him get 192 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: his lights on. He makes it turn before I can 193 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,839 Speaker 1: catch up to him. He turns right. Well, I'm turning 194 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: right as well. I didn't mean to tap the microphone there. 195 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: Shut up, Chris. No one heard that. It's not like 196 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: it's a national show, all right. So he turns right. 197 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: I turn right, and he gets in the left lane. 198 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: Remember we're going in the same direction. He's in the 199 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: left lane, I'm in the right lane. We pull up 200 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: to a red light. It's a guy and his woman's 201 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 1: in the passenger seat. We pull up to a red light. 202 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. My plan is to 203 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: get their attention, to have him rolled down the window 204 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: and tell him so. But what no, Chris shaking her head. Chris, 205 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: it was a good plan at the time. So dude, 206 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 1: I roll the window down and I reached my arm 207 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: out and I bit. I'm six eight, my arms are 208 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 1: a little long, and my hands are probably a little 209 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: on the bigger side. But I reach my hand out 210 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: there and I kind of give the big wave, big wave. Nothing. 211 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: Neither of them look over, and they just keep driving. 212 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm thinking, oh, gosh, okay, all right, Well, now we're 213 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: getting into a more populated area, and now there are 214 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: cars everywhere, and it's legitimately dangerous. There aren't a ton 215 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: of street lights. This is blacked out pickup truck driving 216 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 1: down the road. I don't know how this idiot doesn't know, 217 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: but he doesn't know. So there aren't any other, excuse me, 218 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: aren't any other red lights? So I pull up his side. 219 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 1: I might say, we're doing fifty fifty five, and I'm 220 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 1: look in my mind, I'm trying to save a life 221 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 1: out here, Chris. And so I keep the window down 222 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: and I stick my hand out again, and I'm driving 223 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,719 Speaker 1: right It's probably not the safe, singing the wom but 224 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 1: I'm driving right handed. We all know I'm an excellent driver. 225 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,680 Speaker 1: Remember I'm a wheelman, Chris. So I'm driving and I'm waving. 226 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: It's loud as as loud. I'm waving as loud as 227 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,599 Speaker 1: I can. I'm waving in a boisterous fashion. Okay, to 228 00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: boisterous fashion. Finally, she, the woman in the pastor seat, 229 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: looks over very clearly, turns and says something to him. 230 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: He looks over at me, and I with my left 231 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: hand that's hanging out the window, I do the kind 232 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: of like if you're making your hand into an alligator 233 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: where it opens and closes. That's what I'm doing, kind 234 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: of like that. I thought that was the sign for 235 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: your lights or rights, and they clearly. Now he looks terrified, 236 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 1: and I mean terrified. His eyes are as big as 237 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: saucers at this point in time. And so instead of 238 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: doing that clearly that wasn't working. I just pointed out 239 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 1: my window to his headlights like towards the front of 240 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: his truck. He locks up the truck and pulls, Oh, 241 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 1: I know, Chris still no headlights on, locks everything up 242 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: and hooks a quick left like I was getting ready 243 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: to shoot him. I don't understand what I could have 244 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 1: done differently there? What Chris universal signs flash your brights 245 00:14:55,080 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: behind him. I don't think that would have worked. I 246 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: don't think. I think what I did was better than that. 247 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: Chris said, Look, it's not my fault. He's a little skittish. 248 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: What Oh, I know, I guarantee. They went home and 249 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: talked about some gigantic psychopath in a bidlife crisis car 250 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 1: who tried to shoot him or something like that. You 251 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: know what, I'm lucky I didn't get shot with a 252 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: hero got it on the way home. You know, he 253 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: was probably that's probably what happened, Chris. He was listening 254 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: to the show. He waits to the show's over and 255 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: downloads it on podcasts, as many do. Remember iHeart Google, Spotify, 256 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: and iTunes. He's downloading the show on podcast He waited 257 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: to what was over. He's listening to it. He's so, 258 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 1: he's just so enthralled by the sound of my voice 259 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: and by the brilliance coming out of the microphone that 260 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: he couldn't stop it. He couldn't He didn't even realize 261 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: he needed headlights because I was such a light in 262 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: his life that I was Chris, I was guiding his 263 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: path as a light to his life. I am lucky, though, 264 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 1: What if he pulled out the Hero arrow. What a 265 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: story that would have been? What if he pulled out 266 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 1: the Hero arrow and boom gave me a double barreled 267 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: gel blast to the face driving down the road, and 268 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: then I crash my midlife crisis car and then I 269 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: come on the radio the next stake. So I'm still 270 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 1: half blind because at the pepper gel and I say, 271 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: let me tell you what hero works. Baby. Anyway, go 272 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 1: get yourself a Hero gun in case some psycho tries 273 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: to flag you down and traffic tonight, all right, Hero 274 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: twenty twenty dot Com promo code Jesse. It's non lethal, 275 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 1: so you don't have to worry about killing him, but 276 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: if he's freaking you out in the road, you might 277 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: want to wave him down. All right, Just just don't 278 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: pull out and start blasting, but seriously, it can save 279 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: your life. Hero twenty twenty dot com promo code Jesse. Alright, 280 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 1: state restrictions may apply. Now. I have one more thing 281 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: on this pastor thing, and then we're going to get 282 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: to something that I need your help with to make 283 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: me feel better about myself. I am a bad gift giver. 284 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: This is well known in my family because I have 285 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: a bunch of cruel people who live with me. The 286 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: kids are cruel, now the wife is cruel. Everyone likes 287 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 1: to point out how bad of a gift giver I am, 288 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: but it's well known. I try, and actually the harder 289 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: I try, the worst the gift is. The more thought 290 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: I put into it, the worst that gift will be 291 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: every time. And Christmas is coming up and I thought 292 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: it would be an appropriate time. Now I want to 293 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: know from you eight seven seven three seven seven four 294 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: three seven three eight seven seven three seven seven four 295 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: three seven three. I want to know a terrible gift 296 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: you have either given or a terrible gift you have received. 297 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: If you have to lie about the person who gave 298 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: it to you, that's more than acceptable on this show. 299 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: But I want you to make me feel better. I 300 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: want you to make me feel better about the time 301 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 1: I bought the wife a lotion warmer as one of 302 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 1: her gifts. She's always cold when she gets out of 303 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: the shower, and she's a woman, says, she puts on 304 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: eight thousand creams, and she complains about how cold the 305 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: creams are. So I got a lotion warmer. She opened 306 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: it up and laughed right away. She unwrapped it was 307 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,200 Speaker 1: Christmas time. She unwrapped it and just started laughing right 308 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: off the bat. I want to know about your bad gifts. 309 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: I can't be alone eight seven seven three seven seven 310 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 1: four three seven three. Now get back to this crazy 311 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,239 Speaker 1: pastor thing here in just a moment. But did you 312 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:29,479 Speaker 1: see one of the strangest stories I've seen in a 313 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 1: long time. And I'm not sure we'll actually I take 314 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 1: that back. I'm sure we'll never get the truth of it. 315 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: And this story. I guarantee you haven't heard anybody today 316 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: discussed this story at all. But I saw this headline 317 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, wait, what that can't be right. 318 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 1: I thought I thought the headline was a parody. It 319 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 1: is a pen apparently real. I we have verified it 320 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: by several news outlets. I'm going to read you the 321 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: strangest headline ever and your crappy gifts next in a 322 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:15,399 Speaker 1: secondhand store. It is the Jesse Kelly Show. And yes, look, 323 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get to this strangest story ever, the bad 324 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: gift giving stuff. I'm gonna get to your calls about 325 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,479 Speaker 1: the bad gifts you've received or given here in just 326 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,360 Speaker 1: a few eight seven seven three seven seven four three 327 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: seven three. Chris said he during the break, he said 328 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 1: he was dating some chick and she used these weird 329 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 1: little oil vile things to make the room smell nice. 330 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,640 Speaker 1: And she used to buy ten packs, and she'd run 331 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,400 Speaker 1: out all the time. And Chris went out and got 332 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: her as a gift, a pack of five hundred. That's 333 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: a freaking outstanding gift, I think, Chris. Apparently it was 334 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 1: a huge dud. But this is the problem. Chris the 335 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: wife says that I'm a hyperlogical thinker, so I give 336 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: people gifts that none of them come from the heart. 337 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,360 Speaker 1: They come from the head, and so it's not special 338 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: to anybody. What. Yes, thanks what I said, Chris, gifts 339 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: they actually you, That's exactly what I said. Like the 340 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: lotion warmer, that's a great gift and then I got 341 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 1: crapped the time I bought her pots and pants for 342 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,160 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Apparently that's not romantic. You can't win with 343 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: some people. All Right, we'll get to your calls on 344 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: this in a section. Okay, Now, we're never going to 345 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: get an answer to this, And the answer to this 346 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,439 Speaker 1: may very well be totally innocent. But I can't just 347 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: let this go. I saw one headline and I thought 348 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: that that can't be real, that won't be right. And 349 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 1: then I saw several actual legitimate news sources come out 350 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,680 Speaker 1: and say the same thing. You see. Joe Biden goes 351 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,639 Speaker 1: to Nantucket every single Thanksgiving. His family's been doing it 352 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: for gosh forever. When I was in Nantucket finishing my book, 353 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: Chris what now, like, you'd see pictures of Biden there. 354 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:51,639 Speaker 1: It's what his family's famous for doing. Now. They stay 355 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: in multimillion dollar homes. They ran out these multimillion dollar homes, 356 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: and his son Hunter goes there and gets drugged out 357 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: of his mind. It don't ask me how all these things, 358 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 1: but just trust me, I very much do know all 359 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: these things. Anyway, the Biden family goes and they live 360 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: it up in Nantucket. Okay, well, they rent cars while 361 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: they're there. The Secret Service does, and the Bidens do. 362 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,200 Speaker 1: Apparently they rented five cars, five of them from Hurtz 363 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: Chevy Suburban, a Ford Explorer, and Infinity q X eighty, 364 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 1: a Ford Expedition in a Jeep Gladiator. All right, five cars. 365 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,399 Speaker 1: Biden finishes his time in Nantucket, they all roll and 366 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 1: their big convoy back to the little Nantucket Airport. Very 367 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 1: nice little airport, by the way, if you were an author, 368 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: you'd understand, Chris. But anyway, nice little Nantucket airport, and 369 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: all five cars burst into flames. Now, I don't think 370 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 1: we're ever going to get an answer to this, but 371 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 1: I've seen a few cars and known of a few 372 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 1: cars that burst into flames, and I've only ever known 373 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: two reasons a car bursts into flames. I'm sure there's 374 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: a third. I'm positive there's a third, but two are 375 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,360 Speaker 1: the only ones I've ever known. An accident of sometimes 376 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 1: some kind, either whether it's a car accident or I 377 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 1: know they've had some problem with the electric car batteries, 378 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: that kind of an accident, some kind of vehicular malfunction, 379 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: which wouldn't make sense because they're five different kinds of 380 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: car there and there was no car accident. And then 381 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: the second reason I've ever known a car go up 382 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: in flames was some sort of a cover up. Cars 383 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 1: do not randomly burst into flames. And let's say maybe 384 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 1: maybe the one of the secret service guys was super 385 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: into cigarettes or something like that. Maybe maybe got a 386 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: little careless with one got done burning a heater, and 387 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: he just decided to flick the old old butt with 388 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: the cherry, stealing it right back in the car. Okay, 389 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: that's one car. That's one car. Okay, maybe you know what, 390 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: give them the benefit of the doubt. Let's say it's windy, right, Well, 391 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,159 Speaker 1: the wind generally really blows in one direction. I realized 392 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: there are swirling winds, but the wind is going to 393 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: go in one direction. So how did it get all 394 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: the cars? Why did all five cars get burned in Nantucket? 395 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: Oh we're never gonna get the answer to this question. 396 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: But Chris am I being a wing nut, is that 397 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: not a very odd story? That's an odd story that Yeah, 398 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: it won't get any play whatsoever, but that is an 399 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: odd story. All right? You know, you know we're gonna 400 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: let it go because we're never get it up. We're 401 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,919 Speaker 1: never gonna know, Chris. Look, I'll tell you what we 402 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: need to get ahold of them and find out how 403 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: they did it for when we start our bank heist team. 404 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,959 Speaker 1: We're gonna No, you haven't seen enough movies, Chris. You 405 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: need several cars when you all be the wheelman. But 406 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,439 Speaker 1: as wheelman, when we come out of the bank, we 407 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 1: have to take the initial car not very far away 408 00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: because there'll be so many eyes and cameras on it. 409 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: I've seen heat several times, and then you dropped the 410 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: car not far find a parking garage. They love parking garage. 411 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 1: Is that way the helot the cops can't get you. 412 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: Then you go into parking garage and we switched vehicles, 413 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: and then we might have to switch again and switch again. 414 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: But we'll have to torch the cars. Chris, I also 415 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: know that. Well, I'll drive. Look, I got it covered 416 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: all right. As real man, I'll handle the driving. I'll 417 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: handle the torching of the cars. Now you what's a 418 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: bad gift you gave or a bad gift you received? 419 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: Joe Spokane, go well, love the show and I was 420 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 1: doing a remodel. I had a girlfriend at the time 421 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: that I did not really care for. There's a pretty 422 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: bad stuff going on. Oh, I found a used personal 423 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,240 Speaker 1: massage device in that house and I gave that to 424 00:24:53,280 --> 00:25:00,440 Speaker 1: her for a gift. I can imagine that went over 425 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: like a turn in a punch bowl. Danny, New Jersey, 426 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:12,359 Speaker 1: go Yeah, married twenty five years. I have four awesome kids. 427 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: With tradition, I guess I don't know from where, but 428 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 1: after the baby is born, you give your wife a 429 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: nice gift. So first child got she got diamond study rings. 430 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 1: Second child got a nice bracelet, third child got a ring, 431 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 1: and I was thinking really practically for the fourth child, 432 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 1: and I got her a really good treadmill. That child 433 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: is now sixteen years old, and she never fails to 434 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: remind me of what allows the gift giver. I look, Danny, 435 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: I don't think that's the holes. I can see how 436 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 1: that may not go over well when she knocks out 437 00:25:54,480 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: the fourth g eight seven seven three seven seven four 438 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 1: three seven three. Chris, do you remember my story about 439 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 1: the life in her ear? I've told this in forever 440 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: and we have all these new listeners. I'm gonna get 441 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: back to these calls here in a minute, and then 442 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 1: we'll get to the irs what they're doing. I'm gonna 443 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: get back to your calls here in a second. Let 444 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: me take this real quickly. So the wife has some 445 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 1: kind of allergy of some kind in her skin to 446 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: certain metals. Certain metals. Now, I will admit when she 447 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 1: first told me about this, I was a little suspicious. 448 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: Apparently anything that isn't, you know, pure silver or pure gold, 449 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 1: her skin doesn't react well to it. And I'm thinking, okay, 450 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: crafty devil, I see where this is going. But anyway, 451 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: apparently it's legitimate. And one time when she was little, 452 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: she put an earring of some kind that wasn't pure 453 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 1: anything in her ear, and it's screwed up her ear 454 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 1: and kind of gave her this little scar on the 455 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 1: lobe of her ear. Not something you would ever notice 456 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 1: unless I pointed out to you. It's really not something 457 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: you would notice. But for some reason, it used to 458 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 1: bug her endlessly. Now she doesn't care. He used to 459 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: bug her endlessly, and so she was always she used 460 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: to call it her butt ere my buddier. It doesn't 461 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 1: look like it just looks fine anyway. So she's always 462 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: talking about, Hey, if we ever make any money, I'm 463 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: gonna get my buddy or fix I'm gonna get my 464 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: buddy or fix, you know, And I'm always I'm always encouraging. 465 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, yah, if we make any money one day, yeah, fix, 466 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 1: that's fine, it's fun. Go go do that thing. Now, 467 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,919 Speaker 1: let's pause on that. I needed to take that. I 468 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,879 Speaker 1: needed to take the buddier thing, and I needed to 469 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 1: put it in your back pocket. Okay, that this is 470 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: going to be a critical part of the story. You 471 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: got the buddier part, don't like, doesn't like the buddier 472 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 1: Put that in your back pocket. I'll hold on. I'm 473 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: up against the great before I before I finish, before 474 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 1: I finish my story. Let me do this really quickly. 475 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,119 Speaker 1: If you happen to have bought your wife a treadmill 476 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 1: after she had a baby as a gift, it would 477 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: probably be a good time to give her now something 478 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,440 Speaker 1: that she can actually use with pride. One of those 479 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,679 Speaker 1: things would be an emergency food kit in case the 480 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: grocery store closes down. You see, now that you've already 481 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,920 Speaker 1: insulted her, it would be best to prove to her 482 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: you can actually feed the family, and my Patriot Supply 483 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 1: has emergency three month food kits ready to go to 484 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: bail you out. From your crappy gift giving. You've been 485 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,360 Speaker 1: doing two hundred and fifty dollars off right now, that's 486 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: their lowest price in years. My Patriot Supply dot com. 487 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: Everyone in your home needs an emergency three month food kit. 488 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: Go my Patriot Supply dot com. Chris. How much time 489 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: do I have time to finish this story? I have 490 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: time to finish this story? Right, Okay? So, so I 491 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: told you about the I told you about the buddier. Right, 492 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,920 Speaker 1: you got that parts in your back pocket. Now let's 493 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: fast forward to the wife had our first son, and 494 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: then we lost our second, and then had our third son, well, 495 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: second son, Luke. Now we decided because of the second one. Hey, hey, 496 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: we're done. We're done. We're done having kids. Gonna stop 497 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: it too. She is. She's a gymnast by trade, remember 498 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: one of these super health freak athlete types. She was 499 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 1: on the Canadian national team. She was born in America, 500 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: so don't give me crap about that. She was on 501 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: the Canadian national team. She was on the University of 502 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 1: Arizona on gymnastics scholarship where she made nationals. Like, she's really, 503 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: really good. So because of that, if she ever gets 504 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: an extra ounce of fat on her body. She thinks 505 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: she's a disgusting beast. She's just one of those people 506 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: that thinks in this way. So we have the second kid, Chris, 507 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: how am I doing on time? Am I? Okay? Oh crap? 508 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: All right, I'll finish this story in just a second. 509 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: Miss something. There's a podcast getting on demand wherever podcasts 510 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: are found, The Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse 511 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: Kelly Show. Remember you can email the show Jesse at 512 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly show dot com. I'm gonna get back to 513 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 1: these worst gifts you've gotten her or given here in 514 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: a minute, and we're gonna talk about the IRS, issuing 515 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: a warning to Americans. Guy freaking hate the Irs. Before 516 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 1: we get that, let me finish this little story. I'm 517 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: not gonna to give you all the backstory. Wife had 518 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: a little scar on her ear on hat was unhappy 519 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: with her ear and then you were supposed to put 520 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: that in your back pocket. And fast forward to she 521 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: has our second son, Luke. All is good, We're done 522 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 1: having kids. She decides she doesn't like that that she 523 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: her body didn't instantly go back to being what it 524 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 1: was for some reason. They give themselves five minutes. Just 525 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: give it a couple of months and you'll be fine, 526 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: all right. But anyway, she didn't like it, so she 527 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 1: starts talking about getting herself. I'm not even making this up. 528 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 1: If you saw her, you'd laugh. Many people know what 529 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: she looks like. You if you know she looks like, 530 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 1: you're gonna laugh. She started talking about giving herself a 531 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,719 Speaker 1: tummy talk. Now. The first time she brought this up 532 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: to me, I died. I said, maybe they're not gonna 533 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: give you that. That's not it's not it's not for 534 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 1: people like you. That's not. No, no, And she was 535 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,640 Speaker 1: insistent that they did. And then she would go talk 536 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: to friends and family. I don't think I'm gonna get 537 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: a tummy talk, and they would everyone laughed at her. No, what, No, 538 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 1: you don't have anything, there's nothing to talk, right, But 539 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: she was on it over and over and over again. 540 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 1: It became a thing. We would drive by some plastic surgeon. 541 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 1: We were living up in a Dallas area at the time. 542 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 1: Who'd drive by some plastic surgeon's office and she'd say, 543 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 1: I can get my tummy tuck there. Oh, maybe I'll 544 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 1: get a tummy tuck there. So one day I get 545 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: out of the shower and I was about ready to 546 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 1: go to work. I was selling RVs at the time, 547 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: and I was just I was trying to get myself 548 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 1: into selling RV mode and so I wasn't thinking. And 549 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: she says something about how if I got a bonus 550 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: for Christmas that year. That's what we were talking about. 551 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 1: That was kind of the subject if we got a 552 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 1: nice bonus for Christmas this year, because she's like, maybe 553 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 1: I'll finally, maybe I'll finally get my ear fixed. And 554 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 1: I said, I just wasn't thinking. I said, well, why 555 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 1: don't you get your tummy tuck first? That didn't. Dang, 556 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: that didn't. That didn't work out at all, absolutely at all. 557 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: We want to talk about the horrible rs I don't 558 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: you know what. We'll talk about them in a minute. 559 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 1: Rachel Ohio, go hi Hi. My ex husband was the 560 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: worst gift giver ever. He stopped for Christmas presents for 561 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: a woman at his hunting supply shop and he came 562 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: home this one year. I'm I'm like, not a tiny 563 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: person and I'm into horses and stuff like that. And 564 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: he came home this one year with a plaid purple 565 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: Pendleton wool a line skirt. Now that wouldn't fit over 566 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 1: one of my legs, let alone my way. And I'm 567 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: looking at him and I'm like, didn't did your girlfriend 568 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: get my real present? Sorry? Rachel? That sucks. Tom in Portland, 569 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: go wow, we've been married, you know, sixty eight years, 570 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 1: so you ken good years, Ken bad years? There's in there. 571 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: She's like, I don't know what I want. I don't 572 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 1: want anything for God or nothing. Yeah, apparently that was 573 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: the wrong gift. Yeah, Tom, I will tell you this 574 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 1: very same thing happened to me for our anniversary about 575 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: three or four years ago. I will never fall forward again. 576 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: A few days before the anniversary, we weren't doing very 577 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,320 Speaker 1: well financially. We were okay, I don't want a poor mouth, 578 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 1: but we were not doing great. She's like, hey, we're 579 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 1: a little things are a little tight this year. Why 580 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: don't we not get any each other anything for our anniversary? 581 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: So I said, oh, yeah, okay, no, you know what, 582 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: that's smart. I'm thinking financially, I don't know that is smart. 583 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: We don't need an anniversary gift this year. And I 584 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,840 Speaker 1: roll over. I'll never forget it. I remember the look 585 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: on her face. I rolled over. Our anniversary morning. It 586 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: was light out and I rolled over. She was on 587 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: the left and I was on the right, and I 588 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 1: looked over at her and she said happy anniversary. And 589 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: I said happy anniversary, and she said, did you get 590 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: me anything? And I just I remember looking at that 591 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,200 Speaker 1: look on her face and I was thinking to myself, 592 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: you said not you. I don't under I don't understand. 593 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: We agree that we we agree that we weren't going 594 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 1: to that's what we just like. We just agreed on that. 595 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:11,240 Speaker 1: But she that's not true. Guys, don't ever believe that. 596 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 1: That's always a lie. Fred in Kansas, go, Yeah, I've 597 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,960 Speaker 1: been married for twenty three years and I got a 598 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 1: great mother in law and last year for Christmas, I 599 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: gave her two croated dead double A batteries with a 600 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:34,359 Speaker 1: note that said presents not included. Wait, Fred, why Oh, 601 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,959 Speaker 1: she's a great gall and she's always trying to prank 602 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 1: me and she haven't got me yet, but I always Now, 603 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,440 Speaker 1: that's good. That is very very good. You know. By 604 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 1: the way, I'm about to get for all you ladies 605 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: on the line, I'm about to give something away for 606 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 1: you actually, And the dudes, do you have anyone in 607 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: your life who shoots weapons. Anyone who likes to shoot, 608 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: you know, mantis X is the thing that would geek 609 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: out over right. They would never even think of a 610 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,920 Speaker 1: mantis X because people don't think about dry fire practicing 611 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,880 Speaker 1: in their home. And if they do, they think about 612 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 1: what you think about aiming in the mirror or aiming 613 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: at a spot in the wall and taking one shot 614 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: and seeing just checking your form. They don't know that 615 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 1: the mantis X is an advanced system that attaches to 616 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: whatever weapon you want in the comfort of your home, 617 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: and it puts you through driols. You're in your home 618 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,920 Speaker 1: practicing like you're at the range with a thousand rounds 619 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 1: beside you. Only you don't leave the heat, you don't 620 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,560 Speaker 1: leave the ac You don't spend any money on Ammo. 621 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 1: You want the gift, Hey, how about that for a 622 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: good gift this year? Mattis X good mattis x dot com. 623 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,520 Speaker 1: And when you buy that for the woman or the 624 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 1: man in your life, let them know that's what the 625 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:48,120 Speaker 1: green berets use because it is mattis x dot com. Alright, 626 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 1: mantis x dot com. IRS warns Americans over six hundred 627 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 1: dollars threshold to report Venmo PayPal payments, and I want 628 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: to I want to. I only brought this up because 629 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: we brought it up before. I only brought this up 630 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 1: for this reason because we're gonna get into some different things, 631 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,399 Speaker 1: the Marriage Act and oil and we're gonna get back 632 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,800 Speaker 1: to these phone calls in a minute and whatnot. But 633 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:14,760 Speaker 1: I want to bring this up for this reason. Cash App, Venmo, PayPal, 634 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,600 Speaker 1: these online ways you pay people. If you're thinking about 635 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,759 Speaker 1: cheating the IRS out of paying taxes on that six 636 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: hundred dollar transaction, please understand that all these companies, I 637 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:34,160 Speaker 1: guarantee you they're all working hand in hand already with 638 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:38,840 Speaker 1: the federal government and against you. And if PayPal, PayPal 639 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: is a despicable company. If PayPal was to have a 640 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,399 Speaker 1: knock on the door from the IRS and they said, 641 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,760 Speaker 1: hey Tom in Portland, I don't like that maga stuff 642 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:55,640 Speaker 1: he's been posting on social media. In fact, I've heard 643 00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:00,479 Speaker 1: he's an independent contractor selling things online. Hey, PayPal, could 644 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 1: you go ahead and send us over the records of 645 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,160 Speaker 1: everything Tom and Portland sold this year? PayPal would do 646 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:12,439 Speaker 1: so without even the briefest moment of hesitation. Be very 647 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:17,360 Speaker 1: very careful out there, Okay, These companies these online companies 648 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,840 Speaker 1: that track all this stuff, they are not on your side. 649 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,839 Speaker 1: They are against you. Play by the rules. I know 650 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,600 Speaker 1: the rules are crap. I know the rules are crap. 651 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,840 Speaker 1: Believe me. It hurts me every time I have to 652 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: write a tax check, every time I get my paycheck too, 653 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,799 Speaker 1: and I look and see the government has absolutely violated me. 654 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:40,879 Speaker 1: I know, I know. You're the enemy of the state. Now. 655 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,280 Speaker 1: They work day and night to make you an enemy 656 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: of the state. Don't give them a reason. It's bad 657 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,359 Speaker 1: enough they'll come up with one anyway. Don't give them 658 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: a reason. And don't you dare think these online payment 659 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 1: companies are on your side. All right, all right, we're 660 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 1: gonna get to more of your gifts, your horrible gifts 661 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: you've given him, sieved and something horrific out of HHS. 662 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: Hang on,