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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Welcome this. I'm your host. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that come? What's that? Nope, you're right, actually, Craig Atkowsky,

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Speaker 1: good catch, good catch, But I digress. Let's meet our alchemists,

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Speaker 1: shall we in a strategically particular order. Let's say hello

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Speaker 1: to Chris Alvarado. Hey, Chris, you have forty five seconds

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Speaker 1: to describe the feeling of catching the perfect wave. Here

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Speaker 1: and now light, I glide, shimmering, sun kissing my neck.

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Speaker 1: Hi God, it's me awesome. I gave you time and

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Speaker 1: you delivered to Hiku. That's uh, that's just beautiful. Next up,

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Speaker 1: it's James Ceney. James, you can travel anywhere in the

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Speaker 1: world for the ultimate culinary experience. Where do you go

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Speaker 1: and what do you eat? It's Chicago and anywhere in

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Speaker 1: the world. Chicago. You lived there already. Well, I know

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Speaker 1: where the best food it is. Okay, Okay, Chicago, great Okay.

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Speaker 1: On Halstead Street. At least twenty years ago, there was

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Speaker 1: there was a burrito place. I don't remember the name,

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Speaker 1: but it was really close to uh Kingston Mines. Is

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Speaker 1: that that? And that burrito place I think is the

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Speaker 1: best in my memory. The best thing I've ever eaten,

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Speaker 1: and it was huge and I miss it and I'd

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Speaker 1: love to go back. Craig, if you if you pay,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you really want to go back to

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Speaker 1: your early twenties. No, no, no, no, it's not the burrito.

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Speaker 1: It's getting it's you in that time and place, getting there.

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Speaker 1: You show up there at three am and they're still open,

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Speaker 1: and but maybe it was two am, but it was late,

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Speaker 1: and you're hanging out with all your twenty year old friends.

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Speaker 1: It's a great burrito. Okay, all right, I'm gonna pay

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Speaker 1: for an all expense paid trip to Chicago and uh

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Speaker 1: posse of twenty year olds to hang out with you, Well,

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Speaker 1: they have to be my twenty year old friends. It's

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Speaker 1: pretty important. Strangers. I don't get along with stranger twenty

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Speaker 1: year olds. Deals off, deals offten and now a tool

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Speaker 1: thing a tool. Uh. We have a rival favorite football teams.

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Speaker 1: So the Dallas Cowboys is my least favorite football team.

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Speaker 1: But I will say in the realm of respect that, uh,

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Speaker 1: the all time best Cowboy that I've seen play is

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Speaker 1: Emmett Smith. What Washington Commander do you feel similarly about.

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Speaker 1: I'm a big Darryl Green fan. I don't know that's

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Speaker 1: the correct answer. Darryl Green, I'm big. You don't know

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Speaker 1: if I remember, Daryl Green. I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how big of a fan you are, Craig,

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Speaker 1: and I'm calling you out. Um. Maybe you don't remember,

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Speaker 1: you know, back before they were the Commanders, and maybe

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Speaker 1: your knowledge start. No, I only I know. I only

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Speaker 1: know the Commanders, which are pretty pretty solid NFL team. Yeah, they'rendefeated,

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Speaker 1: have not lost a game. Formerly known of course as

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Speaker 1: the Washington Football Team, which I really liked. I really

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Speaker 1: wanted that to be their name forever. Jackie gonzalaz Do Ruthie. Hello,

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Speaker 1: what was your dream job when you were ten years old?

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Speaker 1: And in what ways are you doing it now? Yes? Um? Ten? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: By ten, I wanted to do what I'm doing. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to record podcasts, record podcast I didn't wanted to

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Speaker 1: like be doing comedy and and be an actress. Yeah

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Speaker 1: I did. When you were around that age, would you

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Speaker 1: do videos or do recordings with your friends? It's all

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Speaker 1: I did. Me and my best friend Jackie made movies

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Speaker 1: every time we like, we're with each other. Yes, her

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Speaker 1: name is Jackie. To a tool I see your face

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Speaker 1: heard like in eighth grade, like our graduation president. Her

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Speaker 1: mom got us like a new video camera, um to

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Speaker 1: keep keep it going, and we did keep it going.

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Speaker 1: I was conscious, Yes, I was constantly making movies and

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Speaker 1: like making dances and the performing. We would perform for

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Speaker 1: the like kids who were sitting out at recess. We

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Speaker 1: had a fake band. What does Jackie do now? Jackie

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Speaker 1: works at a university now doing like student life stuff.

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Speaker 1: So she grew up. Okay, she grew up. I didn't. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's tap into some of that ten year old Jackie

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Speaker 1: energy today. Okay, the pure joyful, childish goofiness, which I

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Speaker 1: would That's all I expect from you. I never and

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Speaker 1: last but scientifically determined not to be leased. This week

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Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer, thank you. Oh my gosh, Joey. Would

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Speaker 1: you do some word association with me? Yeah, of course desert, sand,

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Speaker 1: our glass, sand, Vegas, sand beach, sand. I'm wanna say

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Speaker 1: sandy of course of course, yeah, why no, just threw

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Speaker 1: me off? Of course with an A, of course, with

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Speaker 1: a you, of course, with the you. Yeah, okay, of

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Speaker 1: course with an A I would get because it's sand.

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Speaker 1: But do you said, course with you, Sandy, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: all right. All you have to do is like say

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Speaker 1: a word. That's you know that the first word you

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Speaker 1: think of. Yeah, okay, I didn't I just did what

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Speaker 1: I did. I don't know why you're yelling at me.

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Speaker 1: I thought that was all right, of course. See it's

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Speaker 1: not that easy, is it. But it's no, it's not.

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Speaker 1: It's hard. Let's do a goddamn show. All of our

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Speaker 1: seen suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our

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Speaker 1: Patreon v I P s to become a Patreon supporter

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Speaker 1: of the show and enjoy exclusive content like standalone bonus scenes,

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Speaker 1: video of our recording sessions, and at the highest level

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Speaker 1: of support, Alcamaniac, you all have a chance to join

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Speaker 1: one of our recording sessions. Just head on over to

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Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to

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Speaker 1: submit a scene suggestion via email, please write to the

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Speaker 1: podcast at our new email address. I'll give you this

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Speaker 1: email at gmail dot com. That's alchemy dot com. Okay,

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Speaker 1: sounds good. Scene one today comes from Patreon v I P.

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pratto a k A. Swan Trizzle. Hey everyone, it's

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Speaker 1: Swan Trizzle. Oh boy, Chris, that wedding was amazing. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate you giving me the shout out during the outro

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Speaker 1: of one of the episodes way back in November when

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Speaker 1: you invited me and Cris b Ai to your wedding.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you forgot or if the invitations

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Speaker 1: got lost in the mail, but security just wouldn't let

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Speaker 1: me in no matter how many times I played them

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Speaker 1: that whole episode. I'm kidding, of course. Congratulations to the newlyweds, Chris.

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Speaker 1: You are an amazing human being and I am grateful

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Speaker 1: for your kind words and compassion this past year. Thank you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go. Scene suggestion, paparazzi, hide me, hide me?

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Speaker 1: Who are you? No one's coming recognized me on Tamara.

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Speaker 1: We don't know who you are. Man as you want

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Speaker 1: a table for one? He's our host, I could be

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Speaker 1: I need a table in the backpack corner. No one,

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Speaker 1: can you know that? I need? Get it? Get the photo.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to take it, but I'm on top of

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Speaker 1: your camera. Hurry. Okay, come on, come on, come on

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Speaker 1: this way, this way, this way, this way, this this way.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I mean, can I

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Speaker 1: my ex boyfriends of paparazzi, and he just won't let

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Speaker 1: me be Oh um, sure, so you can have the

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Speaker 1: seat back here. Um, this is what we call this

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Speaker 1: the Jack Nicholson seat. Okay, great, that's that's that's perfect

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Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, thank you. Okay, So you're not in

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Speaker 1: anything or like a like a celebrity, I'm in well

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Speaker 1: certain courtrooms. If you do that, I do litigation. Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, So here's the pictures I got. I just

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Speaker 1: feel like the ship there, you fucking ship. Well you were,

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Speaker 1: you were kind of emotional, like not very far from me. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's listen, we gotta get we gotta we gotta go

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Speaker 1: to the back or something. We gotta make sure we

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Speaker 1: cover all the exit, you know what. You gotta stop.

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Speaker 1: I think you have taken this too far. You're a

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Speaker 1: great photographer. You take photography of people, and it's bleeding

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Speaker 1: into your your your life in a bad way. There

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Speaker 1: I said it. I'm sorry. That's the most profound thing

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Speaker 1: anyone whos ever said. I know it's sick that you

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Speaker 1: have me take pictures because I know she's a lawyer,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think this loophole is really gonna get

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Speaker 1: you out of anything. It is gonna get me out

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Speaker 1: of everything, did you understand Jesus Christ? Look, just see

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Speaker 1: this through and then I promise, I promise, I'll put

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Speaker 1: it down. Okay, I'll find a new job. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: just just help me, please please, man, you fucking owe me, man,

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Speaker 1: I mean, bring that out, alright, alright, alright, hey Craig, Um,

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Speaker 1: you're a great host. Can I just say that? Right?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? And earlier I didn't mean to step on

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Speaker 1: your toes. It's just like I'm a server or so

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Speaker 1: in the in the moments of emergency, I have to

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Speaker 1: kind of step forward. I think it's management that tries

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Speaker 1: to pit hosts and servers against each other. We're really

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Speaker 1: on the same team. Well, well, how you doing? It's

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Speaker 1: me Jack Nicholson. Hey, Jack, came in to get my seat.

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Speaker 1: If you don't mind, didn't you see didn't you see Tamarin?

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Speaker 1: As you're the host, I'll just go make my way

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Speaker 1: back to my seat if you don't mind, Mr Nicholson.

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Speaker 1: The host needs to see to you, so just give

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Speaker 1: us one second under the bus, you piece of shit? Hi? Hi,

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Speaker 1: Mr Nicholson, Hi, how are you? Hey? Not a lot

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Speaker 1: of movies lately. Huh No, not a lot of movies.

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Speaker 1: Been watching a lot of Lakers games though. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're they're having a rough season. Yeah they are. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: uh we are. Uh. Chris, who is our server, is

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Speaker 1: going to set up a table for you. He's a

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Speaker 1: little slammed, right, set up a table already have I know,

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Speaker 1: I know you do, but we still got to get

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Speaker 1: a place setting and everything there. Chris is a little

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Speaker 1: slam because have you seen the two Jake's Uh, there's

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Speaker 1: a couple of guys named Jake who worked here. It's

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Speaker 1: my film I directed it is that coming out? It's

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Speaker 1: already came out. Oh well I gotta check it out. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I know you only got your diet coke, but um

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Speaker 1: quick thing um. Jack Nicholson is here. Okay, it's a

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Speaker 1: good movie. I really recommend. And this is like I

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Speaker 1: said earlier, this is his table. See just come over

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Speaker 1: to the table on our show. What do you I

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Speaker 1: mean my orders placed for this table? This The runners

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Speaker 1: won't know. I used to work as in the restaurant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you want to work with me? No, I don't,

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Speaker 1: is leg I'm a lawyer. A tool is the only

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Speaker 1: runner we have working today, so it's I don't want

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Speaker 1: to put him in the mind. He's actually really exactly exactly.

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Speaker 1: Will you share a table with Jack Nicholson? Sure, I

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Speaker 1: would actually really like that. Okay, what what do you

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Speaker 1: think about Walking Phoenix? Because I think he's he's great,

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Speaker 1: like he deserved that. That awesome, fantastic. I thought he's great.

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Speaker 1: And Keith Ledger also one for the like the only

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Speaker 1: two people who have played the same character in different movies.

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Speaker 1: I also played the joke or did you know that that?

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Speaker 1: If that's your table ready? If you want to follow

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Speaker 1: me right this way, Craig, thanks for Yeah, thanks Chris.

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Speaker 1: Why don't a leg come with me and talk a

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Speaker 1: little more. I'm not done chatting up. What you call him? Leg?

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Speaker 1: Isn't that what you call them? I imagine he's got

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Speaker 1: a tripod down there? Sure? Thanks Jack, Yeah, I must

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Speaker 1: have a hug leg. Come on, Okay, your honor, Tamara

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Speaker 1: to the to you, Yes, proceed, thank you, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. I was up late last night drinking Margarita's

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Speaker 1: with Jack Nicholson, so excuse me if my memory isn't

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Speaker 1: keen right now, Tamara, you don't have to explain because

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Speaker 1: I was up late last night reading a book. I

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Speaker 1: was reading a book and crying, crying myself to sleep.

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Speaker 1: The ending was very emotional. But please continue with the

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Speaker 1: case of of course, this actually isn't about the case necessarily.

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Speaker 1: You know, last night I was at and one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite restaurants. Wonderful ambiance, mediocre food, but I like

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Speaker 1: the desserts considering that they're vegan. Anyways, we digress. You know,

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Speaker 1: somebody asked me if I was a celebrity, and then

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Speaker 1: Jack Nicholson came inside with me and talked my lit

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Speaker 1: earlier off. And I'm thinking, I quit. You're quitting my courtroom.

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Speaker 1: I have to follow my dreams. You're there. Do I

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Speaker 1: get a public defender or something? Hey, talk to you

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Speaker 1: and you know what, You're guilty? Guilty? What will? These

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Speaker 1: are great seats? So that is that Lebron over there? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Of course who you think it is. We're on a

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Speaker 1: first name basis. Oh yeah, try to get his attention.

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Speaker 1: Hey Lebron shooting. Hey, do me a favor. Eat your

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Speaker 1: own popcorn? Asshole. Well you got a huge bucket, yeah

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Speaker 1: for me. I told you to get something you didn't

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Speaker 1: want it. Now we're sitting. You gotta eat my damn popcorn. Leg.

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Speaker 1: It's Craig, huh a tool. Look, you're a great runner.

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Speaker 1: That wasn't my fault. No, I'm saying you're a great runner.

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Speaker 1: You're great and like, you know, the next celebrity that

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Speaker 1: comes in here, I'll I'll try to hook you up

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Speaker 1: or something like. I know. I look, Craig's on one

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Speaker 1: right now with Jack, and that was weird for you. Craig,

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Speaker 1: Craig have a big penis what is Jack Nicholson? Call

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Speaker 1: him leg? He's like a big uh yeah, make you

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Speaker 1: look at it, look at him differently. Yeah, I gotta

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Speaker 1: get this soup out to the table. Four. Mr Alvarado's

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Speaker 1: all right, you didn't come in the mouths um okay,

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Speaker 1: So looks here you just wrote down you want to

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Speaker 1: make your pepe biggie, Yes, sir, yes doctor. Um Well

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Speaker 1: why are you coming here? Well? I saw your Instagram

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Speaker 1: ad about fillers and like jawlines and botox, and uh

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Speaker 1: so I figured if you can make the p P

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Speaker 1: biggie that would be a cool thing for me. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's just aesthetic, it's not medical. You understand that, right,

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Speaker 1: And I just want to make sure before we get

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Speaker 1: into any procedures and you understand the risks and also

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Speaker 1: contemplate the fact that you know it might not be

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Speaker 1: something you need. Let's just take a look then for

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Speaker 1: a second. Yeah, you're gonna need it. You're gonna need it, okay,

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Speaker 1: Um doctor yeah, doctor, Um, I'm sorry. I'm just a nurse,

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Speaker 1: but I uh, James Heeney the nurse, I'd kind of

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Speaker 1: like to get a few inches removed from Minx's so big?

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Speaker 1: Do you think maybe James helped us? James, this is

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Speaker 1: inappropriate you come in here and saying, so, why don't

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Speaker 1: you just take us? Come on, James, James, I've already do.

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Speaker 1: Look at that thing. It needs a good seas Okay, James, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Mr I'm sorry about that. Um. You uh looks like

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Speaker 1: you have a little any It looks Tambora tamber over here. Tamara,

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, y Tamba, Hi Tambara, Welcome back to the

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the restaurant. Hi. Um did you wow?

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Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of Samara restaurant? I got this. Chris,

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Speaker 1: you're a server. You're again you're a server. I thought

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Speaker 1: you were are recovering from your surgery. I'm back. I

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Speaker 1: am back, and they're walking. There's complications. Really, you're walking

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Speaker 1: kind of weird. Please please please. My aunt's boyfriend. He's

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Speaker 1: a slow runner, but he'll get to me eventually if

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Speaker 1: he keeps going. Does he's also in the restaurant industry.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how else to say it. No, not

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Speaker 1: a restaurant runner, just an Actually runner is somebody who

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Speaker 1: brings food to a table. Don't look at me. I'm

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Speaker 1: a server. God, you get your photo? Are you? Are

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Speaker 1: you dining with us today? Just snapped at me. Okay, Tamara,

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Speaker 1: let me. I'm just gonna take you back to the

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Speaker 1: tamaras slash Jack Nicholson booth. Oh thank you, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. Oh my gosh, that was wild. Hey welcome.

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Speaker 1: Hey Chris, did you hear they're looking at another runner.

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Speaker 1: I kept hearing about another runner, Like, don't let it

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Speaker 1: get in your head. The only these are heard we're

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Speaker 1: fast runner. That's that's that's exactly the best kind of

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Speaker 1: runner there is. Oh my god. But maybe they're saying

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Speaker 1: maybe there's not a fast runner, which maybe we shouldn't

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Speaker 1: hire or not. Hey, well you look at my dick

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Speaker 1: real quick, dude, be there's a lot of cameras outside,

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Speaker 1: so it's just aesthetic, Like it doesn't work any better

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Speaker 1: than he used to, but like this is where we're at. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you should get it bigger. You should get a bigger

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Speaker 1: see oh, speaking of runners, I mean we've already done

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Speaker 1: a lot on Chris is Dick in the previous episode.

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Speaker 1: See two is from Alcamediac Nicholas mackaer Dear Chris. Funny story.

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Speaker 1: I used to smoke Mackerel's on the street to pay

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Speaker 1: off my grandfather's debt to unsavory mobsters like Stinky Benjamin

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Speaker 1: Brulet and really unsavory ones like taste like shite point

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Speaker 1: dexter higgin is worth. But that's a story for another

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Speaker 1: day or possibly Joey to tell anywhow scenes. Suggestion smooth abbreviation, right,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Suggestion sounds like it takes me longer

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Speaker 1: to articulate all those continents, and it would be easier

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Speaker 1: to say suggestion. But the suggestion is a man with

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Speaker 1: a plan concerning ham Make it so, Nicholas, Oh oh oh,

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Speaker 1: did you hear what's coming right here in this city?

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Speaker 1: Man with the plan and the plans about Hammond Planet

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Speaker 1: that's signed too close to my face. Please sorry, I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to pass. Oh sorry, sir, excuse me. Did you

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Speaker 1: want to but while you're with me, did you want

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Speaker 1: to get some ham from the man? I don't need

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Speaker 1: the song and I don't need you to spin it

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Speaker 1: thing towards he's traveling around giving people hand Did you

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Speaker 1: say there's trouble right here in this city, in Piggy City,

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Speaker 1: right here in Peggy City, Park City, Park City goes trouble.

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Speaker 1: Kind of trouble that needs a man that's Ham. Man

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Speaker 1: has a plan that's Ham, and that's it's the trouble. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll do it. I'll go inside the store. Jesus Christ,

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Speaker 1: how are you? What are you looking for them? Not particularly,

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Speaker 1: but what do you have? Might have ham? I have

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Speaker 1: this one hunk of ham. That's what the ordeal on

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Speaker 1: the side walks about. Yeah, the city is in trouble.

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Speaker 1: Piggy City is in trouble. I'm the man with the planets.

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Speaker 1: Just fucking stop it, Okay, fucking stop it. I'll have

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Speaker 1: a slice of that ham. You can't have a slice

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Speaker 1: of the ham. You have to take the whole hunk

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Speaker 1: of ham, the whole hunk of ham and then you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have nothing take the ham. Okay, look, look, Piggy

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Speaker 1: City is popping off and movetown. We ain't doing so hot,

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Speaker 1: so we need something. We need a jingle, We need

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Speaker 1: a song. We need people spinning side just like they do.

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Speaker 1: What do you have for me? Um, Terry? Do you

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Speaker 1: want to do yours first? Or should I go? I

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Speaker 1: just have the got milk. It's not an original idea,

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Speaker 1: but all right, have you heard their song? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we've been. We went down to Piggy City and we

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Speaker 1: did some research. Yeah alright, alright, so what do you

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Speaker 1: got there? This is uh yeah, need the piano, but

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Speaker 1: I'll do it acapella for now. Um moved town, moved town,

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Speaker 1: Come on down and removed your frown. Moved down, moved shut.

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Speaker 1: I have a rock and roll version. Hey hey, Mr Beef, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Mr Beef. We just gotta cease and desist from Barry

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Speaker 1: Gordy of Motown. Oh shit, he says, he's just add

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Speaker 1: in one. Oh hey, Also, how's my son relapsed? Is

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Speaker 1: that him screaming in the bedroom? Yeah, he's relapsed again.

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Speaker 1: You know, I really gotta go and take care of

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Speaker 1: the cows. But you got me on the sun duty

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Speaker 1: all day. Alright, alright, alright, go look over the cows.

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Speaker 1: I'll get back, do you do. Okay, So listen, that

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Speaker 1: was a good song. But obviously if it's been word

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Speaker 1: now ceasing assists, motown, tamera, anything else of me? Yes, um,

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Speaker 1: how about this? Good morning cows? Otters in my hands,

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Speaker 1: milks in the they go, do you know what the problem?

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Speaker 1: It's in the city. It's Piggy City. They asked, like

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Speaker 1: that it pops. I thought maybe a high coup would

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Speaker 1: be nice. They have songs and we had I don't know. Okay, alr,

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Speaker 1: here we go, here we go. This is a little

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Speaker 1: bit more metal. This is more energy, more energies. What

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Speaker 1: you want, more energies when you get d I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: that's my He gets migraines when he's like when he's

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Speaker 1: throwing me off. Not funny, I know. Listen, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: walk over to Piggytown, Piggy Piggy City and see see

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Speaker 1: what's popping over there. YouTube, get back to work. Papa,

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Speaker 1: you were gone for so long? Did you did you

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Speaker 1: bring us dinner? Were so hungry. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's dinner, but if the hunk a ham, I just

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Speaker 1: don't know what they to do with it. I don't

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Speaker 1: know you plan for this. We haven't had anything to

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Speaker 1: eating so long ago. Un ham would be yeah, we

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Speaker 1: can eat that down. If we just eat this fingers off.

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Speaker 1: If we eat this ham and it's done, it's gone.

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Speaker 1: But if we find out something that we can put

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Speaker 1: the ham with, like bread, like other stuff, it's gone,

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Speaker 1: it's done. No, but it's many meals instead of just

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Speaker 1: YouTube ravaging the ham. I just want to ravage. Let

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Speaker 1: the ham. Will just let us ham, please. I'm an

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Speaker 1: adult and I can make a plan for this. Okay,

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Speaker 1: a plan concerning him. That's the that's the that's the

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna do right here in Peggy City.

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Speaker 1: He's a man with a plan concerning ham right here.

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Speaker 1: Did you see kids? Damn kids? Stop all right, let's

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Speaker 1: take a look at the What are we doing? Are

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Speaker 1: we doing something? Father? Listen? I'm angry, Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm angry, and I gotta hunkry angry, angry, hungry together

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Speaker 1: angry angry. Yeah, you know what, I'm taking this hunky

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Speaker 1: ham to room to my room. And then when you

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Speaker 1: guys can gather yourself together. I'll come out and together

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Speaker 1: we'll come up with an idea. There's a broom in

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Speaker 1: your room. Hey, sun Height, how are you feeling in there? Look?

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Speaker 1: I just want to Sam. I'm proud of what you're

378
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Speaker 1: doing his heart, but what I'm doing his heart? I

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Speaker 1: wonder if maybe you could use some of your skills

380
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Speaker 1: and how may come up with a jingle something that

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Speaker 1: really sells the town and sells the products of this town.

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Speaker 1: What's your cows now? I know you haven't been out

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Speaker 1: in a while, which I'm you know it makes you happy?

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Speaker 1: What what do you want? Hey? Hi? Wow, Jesus Christ,

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Speaker 1: you're handsome. I forget how handsome you are. When you

386
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: clean up, you are like getting handsome. I want to

387
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,360
Speaker 1: get high. What's up? I know what your jaw look?

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00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: You're like you feeling back out? You look fucking What

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Speaker 1: do you need? What do you need? We need those?

390
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 1: I need those packs? You didn't get those for me,

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Speaker 1: that's for sure. Are you hitting on me? Dad? What

392
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: the hell are you going on? What are you doing?

393
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Speaker 1: To see you for months at a time and now

394
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Speaker 1: you're here and you're like healthy and you look gorgeous. Look, Moodtown.

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Speaker 1: You're flushed. What the hell is going on? Look sweating?

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00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: It's hot in the here because I'm nervous, but I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: You want to jingle? You want jingle for the shitty town? Yes, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: uh move over, it's time to see. It's Moodtown, baby,

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Speaker 1: place to be all right? Bye? Oh my god, Oh

400
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: my god? Where are you going? Where you going up?

401
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Speaker 1: Oh my god? Okay, I hope I remembered it. I

402
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 1: hope I remembered it. I hope I remembered it. Guys,

403
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: get in here and get in here. My two assists.

404
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 1: That's get in here. Oh funk Camra to come into

405
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: our Okay, just YouTube tam she can stee out there.

406
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: Um um, okay, hear me out. I'm a shy up.

407
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: But they just had one of those ice cream chucks.

408
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: Uh breakdown out front? Is it still? I scream ice cream?

409
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: Give it in my feeder? What the hell does it go?

410
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 1: Scream a scream ice cream? Stop? Sure? Sure, sure, mood Town.

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Speaker 1: Should we even be using motown anymore? I thought we

412
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 1: had the lawsuits. All right, kids, come on out. I've

413
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: decided what we'll eat is oatmeal and ham all right.

414
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: I know it's not conventional, but oatmeal is filling, and

415
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 1: we're going to be able to spread this ham out

416
00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: on many, many meals. Okay, we're so weak, father, It's okay.

417
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 1: I've already made the oatmeal. All we gotta do is

418
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: add the ham. Papa. Can you feed me? Can you

419
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 1: feed me, Papa? I want some ham, Papa, I want

420
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 1: some ham, Papa, Son of a god, I can't take this.

421
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 1: I'm bringing this ham back to that ham shop because

422
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: there is trouble in Piggy City. Right here, Peggy City,

423
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: right here in Piggy City. How can I help you?

424
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: Welcome to my Hello, sir Flap. What is this? This

425
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: is the hunk of ham you sent me, and my

426
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: life's been hell since I tooken from you. Well, I

427
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: keep this on my hunk of ham. I have this

428
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: single hunk of ham here hanging in my story. No no, no, no,

429
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: no no no no no no no. I bought this

430
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 1: hunk of ham no more than about sixteen hours ago. Well,

431
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. I think it's that

432
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: for us to back up and leave Piggy City. Thank you, sir. Alright,

433
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: I heard you're trying to sell some used ham. It's

434
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: not used, it's just not in new condition. That's that's used.

435
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 1: It's not it's it was never used it it's just

436
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 1: not in new condition. Okay, I don't want I don't

437
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: want to get into some magics with you. I want

438
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: to school that private liberal arts college, vasser Maybe you've

439
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 1: heard of it. I had never heard of Colleges. So

440
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 1: if you're gonna try to impresonate with that stuff, no,

441
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: no thanks, you're gonna try to define all right, I'll

442
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 1: give you. I'll take this not new Ham off your hands.

443
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I have a twelve thirty appointment for a

444
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: Ham appraisal. Oh my god, Jeffrey Flagerston. Yes, it's me,

445
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Flaggers. Is he allowed to just cut in front

446
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 1: of me before my ham's fully appeased? You have an

447
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: appointment for I'm a prisoner. I was a walk in

448
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: ham appraiser or a crazy You don't even know what

449
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 1: he doesn't know. If colleges, I went to Fassar Bazar.

450
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 1: That's the same place he went to. No, No, that's

451
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: Vassar's brother school. Totally different school. It's all the same,

452
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: pronounced differently. All nice and didn't taking ast to be.

453
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: So I got, hey, buddy, come here, you wanna Do

454
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 1: you want to pond something? Huh? Yeah, but I don't

455
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: know if you deal with what I got here? What

456
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: do you got? This is a pretty much new hunk

457
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: a ham, a lot of budge taking out of it.

458
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: How much you want for it? Those were torn off?

459
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: Those weren't bitten off. I tore that off, shure, buddy, Sure,

460
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: how much you want? Well? I paid fifty dollars for it,

461
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: So I say, I say forty five dollars and this

462
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: is out there. I'll give you two corn husks, all right?

463
00:28:55,560 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: And these hollowed out ants? Huh, hollowed out? Aunt? What

464
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: you think I mean? Sure? Wait a second. Are my

465
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: kid's gonna break out into song and dance when they

466
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: get these? Did you hear the story of a city?

467
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: Just let us do the writing, you know. Number two, God,

468
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: Joe is such a good one. Like Chris. You love musicals,

469
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: I love musicals. I'm crying. Number three is from Patreon

470
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: v I P. Thomas Lawson, Greetings, alchemists. I continue to

471
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: love your Autlantish scenes. So my suggestion is this The

472
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: Three Kings of West Virginia. Here you here, you please

473
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:59,239
Speaker 1: rise for the three Kings of West Virginia. Here they

474
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: are into using themselves. God damn, I wish you can

475
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: get closer seats and almost not hear the fucking harold.

476
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: You know this is just all procedural stuff. You don't

477
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: want to be close up anyway. I am the first

478
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: King of West Virginia. Hello, folks, I'm King Dwayne of Morgantown,

479
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 1: and I'm the Burger King of West Virginia. Oh here,

480
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: the three Kings of West Virginia. Please be seated. Okay, let'

481
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: say everyone see say, sir in the back, please take

482
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: your hat off. Take your hat off. Who gives a

483
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: ship show some respect that I'm gonna take my hat?

484
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: Excuse me, sir? Yep yep? Is that a University of

485
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: West Virginia hat? Yes, all right, I could tell with

486
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: the w V. I didn't go to college, but I

487
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: figured that's what it is. Can you please remove it

488
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: when you're in the presence of the three Kings? I

489
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: really want to wear the hat. Just take the hat off, please. Fine.

490
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm I don't have to take my hats. I'm allowed

491
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: to wear my hat, right, it says West Vassar. Yes, yes,

492
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: of course, I'm sorry, no reason to ask, Okay, I

493
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: just other people take off their hats, and I just

494
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: want to make sure that I'm entitled. You are in

495
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: a different level. How can he worries that that's what's

496
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: gonna happen here is I'm not gonna punish you, but

497
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kick your friend out of this is wait? No,

498
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: please your mind, do it, asshole? Your friend? Come on?

499
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: The worst you could do it? Oh? Yeah? Want you

500
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: want you break his wrists to really show me a

501
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: fucking lesson? Oh? Is that all about? You know what?

502
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: Once you get this little piece of glass, here's piece

503
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: of glass right here, I want you scratches, irish, scratches,

504
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: irish a glass. Yeah, it's not gonna do anything to me. Body. Well,

505
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: there appears to be some kind of disturbance up there

506
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: in the upper level. We're just waiting for that to

507
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: get cleared. In the meantime, if anyone has any as

508
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: this before the three Kings of West Virginia, please make

509
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: yourself known to us. At this time, I'm so sorry, King,

510
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: I need to tell you the commotion in the back.

511
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: Someone is wearing a crown of the University of West Virginia.

512
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 1: I believe they think themselves to be the fourth king. Well, well,

513
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: we have a triumvirate here that means three. But now

514
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: there was the writings of the ancient scriptures that spoke

515
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: of a fourth king, and he doth wear the crowd

516
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: that none should be allowed to wear. Well, there were rumors,

517
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: but that was that was always considered apocryphal. What say you,

518
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: Burger King, Well, I'd say this is as a whopper

519
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: of a problem. Okay, that's that's your Every problem is

520
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: a whopper of a problem. You should I should I

521
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: go bring him up to the front? Yes, yes, yes,

522
00:32:53,760 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 1: yeahs Kings, I have a problem, Kings. Well, what is it? Me?

523
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 1: And this other woman says that that's her child. I

524
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: don't know for the fact that this baby is mine. Okay,

525
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: this this, bring the child, Bring the child. Hold. This

526
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: feels like a more at Povich kind of Well we're waiting.

527
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: I was hoping to deal more with our coal industry.

528
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: That's my baby. Now it's my stupid bitch. This is

529
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: my fucking baby. Oh yeah, well I think that baby

530
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: looks like sid always devolved. My three kings, like they

531
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 1: just point some one thing out and I didn't want

532
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: to overstep the royalty. But there's one man and one

533
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: woman that could be both of their child We're both women,

534
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: both women. Bitch my mistake. Uncle, get the uncle, get

535
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: the men with the crowd. The fund is wrong with him,

536
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: that was with that stupid piece of bits. Those are

537
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: clearly two distinct women with separate personalities, and we're nothing

538
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: to like. Bit were nothing alike. I know, Hey, Maury,

539
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: I don't know where the two women are. Um, we

540
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: gave him the right address, but we're gonna have to

541
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: kind of vamp on today's episode because we don't they

542
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,479
Speaker 1: were gonna fight over whose baby it is? Um, but

543
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: what do you want to do? So so you tell

544
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: me we don't have a show ready to go? Yeah,

545
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,439
Speaker 1: more That's what I'm telling you. We we we had one.

546
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: Can we dust off DNA test? Yeah, but we don't

547
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 1: have anybody to give it to Morey, That's what I'm saying.

548
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 1: I have a show idea. Oh what is it, Clyde.

549
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 1: Why don't we see you who Maury actually loves more

550
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: me or his wife? And we can put that on

551
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 1: a lie to text your test and that's the hell. Okay, Clyde.

552
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: Don't look, We've been through this so many times. We

553
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,919
Speaker 1: have been through it, haven't we. I love Connie John

554
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: Moore that I love my assistance of three months, Clyde. Well,

555
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: then you wouldn't mind taking a line to take your test? No,

556
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess I wouldn't. You know what that

557
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: sounds like. That's gonna be a good episode. That's gonna

558
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: be good. The cameras on. Let's do this. I am

559
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 1: Jack Chaelson and I'm gonna be doing a lie detector

560
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: test on Mari Pavach. Mari, what what are you doing here? Well?

561
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: I just kind of rock around and pop into different

562
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: sound stages and they let me do whatever I want

563
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: to get acting work. No, I haven't been able to

564
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 1: do that in a long long time. Okay, and you're

565
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: trained on the polygraph, sure, yeah. You just make sure

566
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: the sticks go up and down and that's it, right,

567
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 1: All right? Shoot, go ahead, all right. Uh, I'm gonna

568
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: take a nap for a second, and when I pop

569
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 1: back up, we'll get to that test. Okay. Well, here

570
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: here comes the potential fourth Kings approaching. Let's flush him out.

571
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: This is a gentleman with the hat from the University

572
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 1: of West Virginia. Yeah, West Virginia, think you very much. Yeah,

573
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: And he says that I'm not taking the hat off.

574
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: That's what he said. And I asked him to you again,

575
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: and then he said, now what is going on? Now?

576
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm just that's the whole I'm not taking the hat off. Okay,

577
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: all right, all right, I'll test this, aspiring monarch. Where's

578
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 1: the best place to get biscuits in Harper's Ferry? I

579
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: don't know. The Brogan Shop. Where's your favorite boots store

580
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: in Martinsburg? Brogan Shop? I don't know. And where is

581
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: the best place to get catfish slurpies in Newtontown Brogan's Shop,

582
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:34,720
Speaker 1: I don't know. Brog We should never let the Brogans

583
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: have a monopoly over this entire state. Alright, alright, alright, well,

584
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: well he must have the mark, right, isn't that part

585
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 1: of the thing we all have? Will check his head,

586
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: check his head for the mark, check his head for

587
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: the more for the mark. Yeah, do it, do it?

588
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:54,720
Speaker 1: Do it? What do you think his head for the mark? Yeah, deep, Bryant,

589
00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 1: if it comes up floating, that's right, deep, fright. Let's start.

590
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: Let's start with the chicken. Just start with the chicken.

591
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: Those chicken fries, by the way, that those are those

592
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: are weird. Sir, Would you mind? Would you mind removing

593
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 1: your hat? I don't really want to remove. You'll be

594
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 1: able to put it back on, just just temporary. No,

595
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 1: I really, I really don't want to refusal to remove

596
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: the crown. Is you want to see? Fine? Here it is? Okay.

597
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 1: I got a growth in my head that looks like

598
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 1: a cardinal, the mark. I'm not proud of it, okay,

599
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: but there it is. Look you should be you should

600
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: be looks like a northern cardinal. All right, that's what

601
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: it looks like. Hey, it's I'm sorry. You are the

602
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: true king of West Virginia. You are the true King

603
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: of West We see that floats in the fire? No, no, no,

604
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: before just calling the true king? You want to deep

605
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: fry everything, burger or at least flame broiler. Of course

606
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: it will float in a fryer. What is your name? Exactly?

607
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: My name? Yeah, I've gone by many names over the centuries,

608
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: many titles he faces. But the name I'm most commonly

609
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 1: called is Debbie son Son. Oh my gosh, Son, come here,

610
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Last time I saw you. We put

611
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: you in the ham transport. You're supposed to go to

612
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: Quantum four. Oh my boy, my boy, this is amazing.

613
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: Where's he going? Who? We just confirmed him? That's the

614
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 1: true king of West Virginia. This justin Connie Chung for

615
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 1: w T pooh Q. We've got a major thing in

616
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: West but that's not the actual you know, I understand NBCs,

617
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 1: w t v J, and you know ABC is w

618
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:51,959
Speaker 1: t Q pooh yeah, Connie, we know. Okay, okay, go ahead, kids,

619
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: keep rowing. I just said live. So you're making me

620
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 1: look like such an idiot. Right, Oh my gosh, hold on,

621
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: don't answer the phone, Connie, What do you mean, don't

622
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 1: answer the phone. I hear it ringing. I need it

623
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: ring ring. Jeff does the answer it? Now? It's ringing.

624
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: It's more joy than I'm gonna I'm gonna answer it.

625
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:18,399
Speaker 1: I'm gonna answer it live. Hello, it's Marie baby. Love you. Hey, Hey,

626
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: I love you too. I don't know if you are

627
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: you busy now? I am lively. Did I call your

628
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: other Oh my gosh, you call them on the air

629
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: in West Virginia. Also, I'm also on the air. You're

630
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 1: in West Virginia. I'm in West Virginia covering this King

631
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: situation over here New York. But we're doing We're gonna

632
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: do a show where Jack Nicholson's gonna administer a polygraph

633
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: and uh to me and uh and to see whether

634
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 1: I love you or my assistant more. Are you want

635
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: to do it again? What do I have to do?

636
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: Are you really sit there while the Jack Nicholson assesses

637
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: the results of the polygraph? Okay, well one is it?

638
00:39:53,520 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 1: Because I'm actually live right now, so I can now, Sarah,

639
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: turn that turn ABC off every time every time they

640
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: go on, too goddamn TV is live. There's some bullshit.

641
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 1: You just don't like the news. I enjoyed the news

642
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: because I don't like the news, Sarah. Yeah, you're right,

643
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: you know, because the news. What the hell? Have you

644
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: ever heard anything on the news that there's never been

645
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:22,439
Speaker 1: something more honest than the moment? Just excuse me? Yeah,

646
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: I like to return these two holiday ants. I told you,

647
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: I told you to close that goddamn kitchen window because

648
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 1: people are gonna come up to the window and they're

649
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 1: gonna start returning things I told you. Sarah. Okay, okay, okay, Well,

650
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: now we've got to honor. I have a receipt. Let

651
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 1: me see that. Okay, okay, you got seven dollars. Honey,

652
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: you got seven dollars. I'm not favorite, Timothy, Timothy, did

653
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: you know that in West Virginia they have a keen

654
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 1: just of burgers? What? Oh, I'm already so hungry. We've

655
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: got to go. We've got we've got to get out

656
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 1: of piggy City. Out of piggy City. We have to

657
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: get out. If I minding those pigs, children, We've already

658
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: covered twenty pigs today. How many more do you need?

659
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: I need about twenty more now, hurry up. Dad left

660
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: and left us to work in the pig mines. Gotta

661
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: get out of piggy City. If we believe in ourselves,

662
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: I think we can do it. What's that voice to

663
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: get out of piggy City? I think it's our inner

664
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: hearts uniting, is one with a true calling. Thank got

665
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: to get out and put those pigs down, kids, Put

666
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: those pig down, kids. You gotta get show yes, go

667
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:04,439
Speaker 1: out a moment of triumph for those underfed children. Let's

668
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: thank our alchemists. This episode is gonna drop on March third.

669
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: In case you need to promote anything what's going on

670
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 1: with you? A tool thing? Not much? Thanks uh for

671
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: having me. It's always a pleasure to be here. Loved

672
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: the singing today and that was very much, very exciting,

673
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: So thanks thanks again. Yeah, our our alchemist single is

674
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: gonna drop uh and never be found. Chris Alvarado Man

675
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 1: March third. Who will I be on March three? That's

676
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: the question, you know, who? Will we will? Will we

677
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 1: all be? Maybe one of us won't even be here

678
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: fifteen days away, fifteen days away. Imagine what we could

679
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,839
Speaker 1: accomplish in fifteen days. You know what I'm gonna say

680
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: it right now, I'm gonna write. I'm gonna write a

681
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 1: three page short short film by March. By March three, okay,

682
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 1: so when when this when this uh, when this episode airs,

683
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 1: I will have the first draft of the short film.

684
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: Thanks everybody, three whole pages the starts. Good luck, alright,

685
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: good lucky. That's huge. Um, that's a that's that's really good.

686
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: Speaking of shorts, Um, the short that I wrote with

687
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 1: my husband Lump will be I think it was eleven pages.

688
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: I feels like a feature. But yeah, um will be

689
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: in the l A l A Shorts Film Festival. And

690
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: that's in March, and it's it's a weekend in March,

691
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: and it's playing all weekend because it's an online festival

692
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: and you can find the details, uh the link to

693
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 1: the stream. I'm gonna put that on my Instagram that's

694
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 1: at Jackie d Ruthie and I'm gonna put it on

695
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 1: my bio. Awesome, congrats on that can't wait to see it,

696
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: James Heeney, Well, I'm gonna just say, if it's not

697
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: more than like four hour drive, you should come on

698
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 1: on March eight pm to see Bear Supply. It's gonna

699
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: be an amazing improvised show that will never be seen

700
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: a second time, So I think it's worth a four

701
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 1: hour travel. I agree, Joey Greet. You want to close

702
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: with a little word association, Let's do it, okay, mouth open, close,

703
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: on off out in outer inner onward, inward outro ultro. Wow,

704
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 1: it just happened. That's just happened, not written. Well, how

705
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 1: did we even get there? Thanks to our engineering producer

706
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: Doug Babe and the fine folks at I Heeart Media.

707
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: Please right to list Alchemy this email at gmail dot

708
00:44:53,600 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 1: com until next time. But I know it too. Better

709
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: put off a p