Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From New York City, the only city in America. It's
Speaker 2: the Show, the intention News, It's the Daily Show. That's
Speaker 2: your host, USUS night.
Speaker 1: Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm your host this week.
Speaker 3: What's my name? That's right.
Speaker 4: It's great to be back for hosting for a second night. Actually, guy,
Speaker 4: it's kind of like we're in a relationship now. You know,
Speaker 4: I'm getting pretty comfortable here. Might start taking a dump
Speaker 4: with the door open. Hell, I might be taking a
Speaker 4: dunk right now.
Speaker 3: You don't no. Anyway, We've got a great show for
Speaker 3: you tonight. So let's get into some headlines.
Speaker 4: Let's kick things off in Congress, where today Republicans were
Speaker 4: once again trying to pick a new speaker after Kevin
Speaker 4: Carthy was kicked out and Steve's colise failed and Jim
Speaker 4: Jordan no sophil and then today they nominated some poor
Speaker 4: bastard named Tom Emirates. And this dude was their nominee
Speaker 4: for four.
Speaker 3: Hours and then he dropped out.
Speaker 4: Martin Scorsese is out here making movies that lasts longer
Speaker 4: than speaker candidates.
Speaker 3: If you saw it.
Speaker 4: This afternoon, you missed this dude's entire nomination, and personally
Speaker 4: I was disappointed. I was looking forward to Tom Ehmer
Speaker 4: being speaker because my man has one of the illness
Speaker 4: Zoom games of all time.
Speaker 3: The gentleman is recognized for five minutes.
Speaker 5: Thank you, madam.
Speaker 3: Sure I moved to strike the last week.
Speaker 6: Obviously today's gig economy.
Speaker 3: I'm out from the last recession.
Speaker 5: The author's a job to anyone who wants.
Speaker 7: During COVID nineteen, we must make sure that our nations
Speaker 7: so proprietors and the smallest with small businesses received.
Speaker 3: Timely gentiments suspend. I'm sorry, mister Emmer. Yes, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Joe? Doesn't he look okay?
Speaker 4: They said, I've literiously you never seen anyone look less
Speaker 4: okay in my life? Like, how does that even happen?
Speaker 4: Was the laptop upside down? Was he upside down? Like
Speaker 4: we all used Zoom. That's not even an option in Zoom.
Speaker 4: He had to code that himself. Like we've been using
Speaker 4: Zoom for over three years. I've never seen anyone do
Speaker 4: anything close to this, Like I get embarrassed if I'm
Speaker 4: muted on Zoom.
Speaker 3: This guy's a.
Speaker 4: Whole different dimension. Still, he would have made a great speaker,
Speaker 4: just as long as Congress never had to attach a
Speaker 4: PDF to an email.
Speaker 3: But let's move on to our next story.
Speaker 4: It's a little dark, honestly, it might be a little
Speaker 4: too dark for me to talk about. We know who
Speaker 4: can talk about it, my ulter egos, my alter ego
Speaker 4: dark Jesus, Yeah, especial effects budget.
Speaker 3: Clearly, let's talk about airplanes.
Speaker 4: You know how on the airplane they got that big
Speaker 4: door to the cockpit and they keep it locked tight.
Speaker 3: And no one could get in.
Speaker 4: They don't want anyone in there to try to grab
Speaker 4: the controls, right, so they keep the door locked. And
Speaker 4: that works unless the guy that wants to crash the
Speaker 4: plane is already in the cockpit.
Speaker 3: And that's what happened here this morning.
Speaker 7: The off duty pilot accused of trying to take down
Speaker 7: a passenger plane heading to court to face more than
Speaker 7: one hundred charges, including eighty three counts of attempted murder
Speaker 7: forty four year old Joseph Emerson allegedly trying to crash
Speaker 7: an Alaska Airlines flight from Everett, Washington to San Francisco
Speaker 7: on Sunday with eighty four people on board.
Speaker 8: But we've got the guy that tried to shut into down.
Speaker 7: The cockfit Emerson sitting in the jump seat of the
Speaker 7: Embreyer E one to seventy five cockpit, situated right behind
Speaker 7: this instrument console between the captain and co pilot. According
Speaker 7: to a federal official, he allegedly tried to pull the
Speaker 7: engine fire extinguisher handles located right here, before being subdued
Speaker 7: by the flight crew.
Speaker 3: Hold on, wait, why is there a handle that crashes
Speaker 3: a plane? Who act for that? And then also why.
Speaker 4: Did the news very explicitly show us where this handle is?
Speaker 4: They were like, he pulled this lever, No, not that one.
Speaker 4: That one over there, the big one on the left.
Speaker 4: You have to pull it hard, though, and in order
Speaker 4: to get in the cockpit use code two seven one
Speaker 4: three that works for all planes. All right, but listen,
Speaker 4: it's high for some financial news. The Daily Show is
Speaker 4: a serious show. I know some people expect me to
Speaker 4: come out here and do my thing writer just roast
Speaker 4: people by that I have beeflip.
Speaker 3: But this is a serious show.
Speaker 4: There's a serious chair, serious desk, and now I'm going
Speaker 4: to give you some important financial news so important I
Speaker 4: have to put on my spectacles. I report on this
Speaker 4: serious financial news.
Speaker 6: Popular radio host DJ Envy now distancing himself from an
Speaker 6: alleged multimillion dollar fraud scheme.
Speaker 4: Not dj Envious, that was never on my radar.
Speaker 6: Go on Federal agents arresting his longtime friend and one
Speaker 6: time business partner, Caesar Pinia on charges of wire fraud,
Speaker 6: accusing him of a Ponzi like real estate scheme that
Speaker 6: allegedly defrauded investors out of millions. Pinya often appeared on
Speaker 6: The Breakfast Club, a top twenty iHeartRadio show with millions
Speaker 6: of listeners and YouTube subscribers to promote real estate investment.
Speaker 6: He also held seminars and created YouTube videos with Djenvy
Speaker 6: has not been charged in connection with the case, but
Speaker 6: many of the alleged victims say they were influenced by
Speaker 6: his celebrity status.
Speaker 3: Wow, dj Envy is in trouble for real estate fraud.
Speaker 4: What a serious story. It's definitely not funny. There's certainly
Speaker 4: nothing personal that makes it funny to me. It's not
Speaker 4: like Rashaan accosted me on the radio for making a
Speaker 4: little joke about him and his wife, which I only thought.
Speaker 3: We were friends.
Speaker 4: It's not like you called me dickhead and then got
Speaker 4: so mad he locked himself in the studio for the
Speaker 4: rest of the show and then told the building security
Speaker 4: I was a threat.
Speaker 3: But even if that happened, that's all in the past.
Speaker 1: I'm just reading the news.
Speaker 4: Listen, and apparently the news is DJ Envy might go
Speaker 4: to jail for an alleged Ponzi scheme flipping houses in
Speaker 4: New Jersey.
Speaker 3: That's not hilarious. It's tragic because he's just a DJ.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's no way he could have known he
Speaker 4: might have been involved in a Ponzi scheme.
Speaker 3: Right when I first got into real estate, I called
Speaker 3: three people. I called Clue, I called Fabulous, I called
Speaker 3: Joe Button. Joe Button told me it was a Ponzi
Speaker 3: scheme and I was gonna go to jail.
Speaker 4: That clip is not funny. We are not laughing at this.
Speaker 4: We're also not asking who's a dickhead?
Speaker 3: Now. I'm being serious. Look at these spectacles. This could
Speaker 3: have happened to anybody.
Speaker 4: Whenever I'm doing financial transactions, I also get advice from
Speaker 4: Joe Button, Fabulous and DJ Clue. Everybody knows that the
Speaker 4: Lehman Brothers of hip hop, and look, I don't want
Speaker 4: Envy to go to prison. I mean, imagine getting locked
Speaker 4: up for one of the corniest crimes in hip hop history.
Speaker 4: This is a property brothers ass crime. Forget the bloods.
Speaker 4: He's gonna have to join the house hunters. But again,
Speaker 4: I'm just doing the news, and the news is that
Speaker 4: DJ Envy is a DJ, a man who turns tables,
Speaker 4: and now the tables have turned.
Speaker 1: From more on this elected crime. Let's go to one
Speaker 1: of these elected.
Speaker 3: To properties with Dulce Sloan do say so?
Speaker 8: Say you gotta still sorry for these people that lost all.
Speaker 5: That money, Don't listen. I feel bad for ugly people.
Speaker 5: I feel bad for orphans who can't sing. But these
Speaker 5: people gave their money.
Speaker 3: To a DJ.
Speaker 5: You can't trust a DJ with money. You can barely
Speaker 5: trust the DJ to DJ. He should be flipping records,
Speaker 5: not houses.
Speaker 3: And I should know.
Speaker 5: I went on a date with a DJ because who hasn't.
Speaker 5: And he gave me the check and I asked if
Speaker 5: he was gonna pay, and he said, sorry, I don't
Speaker 5: take requests.
Speaker 3: I hear you.
Speaker 4: People got to keep their money where it's safe, like
Speaker 4: banks and other investments.
Speaker 5: What now Wall Street is gonna mess your money? Up
Speaker 5: worse than anybody. Bank of America stealing money, Silicon Valley
Speaker 5: Bank collapse, Golden Sacks. Guess what their CEO does on
Speaker 5: the side, he's a DJ.
Speaker 1: Good word.
Speaker 3: No, you can't trust Wall Street. They screw you over
Speaker 3: and it's legal. So what am I supposed to do
Speaker 3: with my money? Then?
Speaker 5: Oh it's easy, friend, you leave your money at the
Speaker 5: Bank of duel Se or Elbanco that doul sa a.
Speaker 5: I tell mundo, listen, I'll offer you a safe place
Speaker 5: for any of your financial deposits.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, what interest rates are you offering?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, none of that. I'm
Speaker 5: gonna keep it under my mattress, just like my grandma,
Speaker 5: who's also a head of security.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent safe. And you're not gonna spend my money, right.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna spend some of your money because I'm taking
Speaker 5: on all the risk.
Speaker 3: What risk?
Speaker 9: What you mean?
Speaker 1: I'm putting the bank in my house. It's risky as hell.
Speaker 5: So maybe you'll lose a little bit, but not as
Speaker 5: much as you lose with DJ Envy.
Speaker 4: Come on, money on your mattress? Do you even have
Speaker 4: fd I C insurance?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 5: Trust me, I f some d I c on that
Speaker 5: mattress all the time.
Speaker 1: Let me take a rider, don't take sun.
Speaker 8: Everybody who is watching the Golden batser, so don't go away.
Speaker 1: You're yo, Welcome back to the daily.
Speaker 4: So sometimes news falls through the cracks. When that happens,
Speaker 4: Lewis black Cats is it for a segment we call back.
Speaker 3: In black.
Speaker 10: Getting old isn't fun. My back hurts, My mind sucks.
Speaker 10: There's some perts to aging, but I can't remember them.
Speaker 10: I guess one of the upsides is is that I
Speaker 10: can get away with shoplifting. If I get caught, I
Speaker 10: just do the Mitch McConnell thing and pretend my brain's
Speaker 10: leaking out of my ears. But recently, old people have
Speaker 10: an even better thing to enjoy.
Speaker 4: Get ready for a bit of a spin on ABC's
Speaker 4: long running show The Bachelor. This time around, it's a
Speaker 4: seventy one year old man looking for love.
Speaker 11: It's a new twist on a classic show. After twenty
Speaker 11: years of The Bachelor on ABC, seventy one year old
Speaker 11: Gary Turner is the first Golden Bachelor. Twenty two women
Speaker 11: aged sixty and older will step into the spotlight, hoping
Speaker 11: to find love with the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 9: He's Gary, and I'm your first Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 10: Finally a dating show where all the contestants are just
Speaker 10: like me, old and willing to degrade themselves on camera. Now,
Speaker 10: if you're wondering if he's one of those cool old guys,
Speaker 10: he's not.
Speaker 3: None of us are.
Speaker 8: Gary Turner revealed how it's been getting back in the
Speaker 8: dating game.
Speaker 9: I've had to learn a few lessons. My granddaughters have
Speaker 9: been helpful. I had to bone up on some of
Speaker 9: the emojis and some of the more trendy words that
Speaker 9: are used right now.
Speaker 10: I feel you, Gary, There's a lot of news slang
Speaker 10: out there, but it's pretty simple. Cringe means awkward, mid
Speaker 10: means mediocre, and riz is something I got from a
Speaker 10: hooker in the eighties. Don't worry, Penicilin cleared that riz
Speaker 10: right up.
Speaker 3: And emojis are easy.
Speaker 10: Gary, This means penis, This means penis, This means penis.
Speaker 10: This is a guy getting a haircut, although I use
Speaker 10: it to mean penis. Now, I'll be honest. As an
Speaker 10: older gentleman in my well, let's say forties, it is
Speaker 10: nice to see a TV show that really nails senior dating.
Speaker 10: I can't tell you how often I'm going on horseback rides,
Speaker 10: taking trips in hot air balloons, and forcing women to
Speaker 10: play pickleball to impress me. Seriously, pickleball, pickleball.
Speaker 3: Really. My only problem with the.
Speaker 10: Show is the guy they chose to be the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Well, he's a schmuck.
Speaker 9: I'm fired up today I get to play pickleball. Every
Speaker 9: door that opened was like the best Christmas ever. You
Speaker 9: don't stop believing that.
Speaker 3: To stop believing.
Speaker 6: But I like to dance, okay, come yeah, Oh come on,
Speaker 6: you're so good already.
Speaker 9: What do you say to guys that have only known
Speaker 9: you a very short time to tell you you're a
Speaker 9: really sexy woman?
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh christ?
Speaker 10: This guy is is like if the word g Willickers
Speaker 10: became a person. Seriously, Gary, stop talking about your emotions.
Speaker 10: We're boomers, you dickhead. Just get drunk and wonder where
Speaker 10: your life went wrong. In silence, dignified silence. I'm talking
Speaker 10: to you, Gary, and I do have to give credit
Speaker 10: to this show. The Golden Bachelor is proof that people
Speaker 10: of any age can be milked for drama.
Speaker 3: He's gonna send you home. I want to bring the
Speaker 3: little one's neck in her mind, Gary is heard. We
Speaker 3: are giving a little bit jealous.
Speaker 1: People aren't necessarily very nice.
Speaker 3: You made it something, you chose me.
Speaker 9: I just don't have the connection that I did.
Speaker 11: I'm Cory.
Speaker 3: Oh, who is this happening?
Speaker 1: What the is this?
Speaker 10: To quote Mitch McConnell, this show is beyond disturbing the
Speaker 10: Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 3: I'd rather watch a gold golden shower.
Speaker 10: Really seriously, that's the reaction is kind of a whiney reaction.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 10: Golden Bachelor sets up golden shower?
Speaker 3: You've served none that before you even.
Speaker 10: Came in here. Well, at least those people are having fun.
Speaker 10: My generation is a bunch of idiots, but we don't
Speaker 10: need to prove it again, not on prime time. And
Speaker 10: the scary thing is this show could be my future?
Speaker 10: Is this where I end up when my Daily Show
Speaker 10: contract finally runs out in twenty forty five. It certainly
Speaker 10: has good ratings, which means we could be getting more
Speaker 10: reality TV spinoffs like The Amazing Race, The Walk to
Speaker 10: the Mailbox or Master Chef Senior Foods You Can Come
Speaker 10: or naked and afraid and suffering from dementia, And of
Speaker 10: course survivor, well maybe until Thursday. My point is, we
Speaker 10: don't need a show that makes old people look cool
Speaker 10: and happy. Any old person who tells you these are
Speaker 10: the best years of their lives needs to be institutionalized.
Speaker 10: And if they're going to make ten more seasons of
Speaker 10: this shit, they're gonna need to legalize euthanasia.
Speaker 3: Jesus, thank you, Lewis my God.
Speaker 1: We come back. Yeah, manaf I'm ringing, y'all. He's turning out,
Speaker 1: So don't.
Speaker 8: Get away, die, don't go there. Welcome back to the
Speaker 8: Daily Show.
Speaker 4: My guest tonight is the best selling author whose ladies
Speaker 4: book Chang Gang also is the finalist for the National
Speaker 4: Book Award.
Speaker 3: Please welcome my man, Nana quamin A Bren.
Speaker 12: Y'all.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, now, full disclosure. You currently reside in what
Speaker 3: Borough the Bronze. Yes, okay, I'm only.
Speaker 4: Telling y'all because if you see the Drip, you'd wonder. Okay,
Speaker 4: your first novel, tell us about it because it's super popular.
Speaker 3: Everyone.
Speaker 4: I'm telling to everyone I talked to. I was saying,
Speaker 4: I'm having you on the show.
Speaker 3: Everyone. I read that book already, so what I'm missing
Speaker 3: on Thank you? I appreciate it.
Speaker 12: So my first novel is about an imagined future in
Speaker 12: which convicted wards of state can opt out of a
Speaker 12: sentence of at least twenty five years and participate in
Speaker 12: death matches. So it's really about abolition the prison system,
Speaker 12: but in a fun way.
Speaker 4: So basically, incarcerated people can fight to the death to
Speaker 4: become free.
Speaker 12: They become gladiators and they're fighting for their freedom.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't give Eric Adams that idea.
Speaker 1: Man, I'm.
Speaker 3: Valid.
Speaker 12: This is a satirical book, Eric Adams.
Speaker 3: Please.
Speaker 4: Is it hard to write a dystopian novel because we're
Speaker 4: kind of living in a dytopian novel right now.
Speaker 3: Bro, It is crazy to see it.
Speaker 12: I started this book about seven years ago, almost eight
Speaker 12: years ago, and in the process of writing it, you,
Speaker 12: I sort of watched the world become more and more
Speaker 12: aware of some of the things I was thinking about
Speaker 12: because it was becoming more and more true. We're seeing
Speaker 12: just how heinous the system was in so many different ways,
Speaker 12: and so it's it's difficult, but also makes me feel like,
Speaker 12: you know, maybe I'm doing something that needs to be done.
Speaker 4: Got you and now in your book it's a for
Speaker 4: profit prison system. Yeah, just kind of similar to all
Speaker 4: the NFL.
Speaker 3: Do you see any parallels?
Speaker 12: Yes, well, no, I mean I think that in general,
Speaker 12: our sort of consumer culture, where we have this idea
Speaker 12: where people's bodies are things for us to be entertained by.
Speaker 12: H we've gotten really comfortable just viewing humans as a
Speaker 12: means to an end, you know, or outside of it
Speaker 12: being a means in and of themselves. So I think
Speaker 12: the NFL is particularly heinous. I think, like that's like
Speaker 12: the Big Junger DoD of evil white men telling black
Speaker 12: bodies to go hurt yourself. But but I think that
Speaker 12: paradigm exists in a lot of other places.
Speaker 3: Too, Got You, Got You?
Speaker 4: And in this book, your protagonist is a black woman. Yes,
Speaker 4: was that a conscious choice?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 7: It was.
Speaker 12: I think that there's a particular way in which the
Speaker 12: black women can be both respected but also disrespected in
Speaker 12: the same breath. I think if you think about Serena Williams,
Speaker 12: both Serena Williams and the bron for example, understand a
Speaker 12: particular way of existing in the world. But I think
Speaker 12: Serena understands something that's particular to her, which is always
Speaker 12: being sort of like disrespected or reduced to sexuality, her image,
Speaker 12: and so many other type of little weird little jabs
Speaker 12: that they give her. I think that that intersection of
Speaker 12: being a woman, being an athlete, being someone who's in
Speaker 12: the eye of the public, all those things from important
Speaker 12: for this book, and so it made sense for the
Speaker 12: protagonist to be a woman.
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Okay.
Speaker 4: I recently hosted the gala for the Bronx Defenders from
Speaker 4: their public Defenders in the Bronx.
Speaker 3: He's the name, but your father is also a defense attorney. Yep,
Speaker 3: he was. Did that affect your view on the just
Speaker 3: criminal justice? It absolutely absolutely did.
Speaker 12: He told me about how he was in the middle
Speaker 12: of defending someone who had committed a murder, gotcha. And
Speaker 12: I remember then being like, dang, Like, okay, I guess
Speaker 12: my father's a villain. He's a bad guy, and I
Speaker 12: him telling me it's not that simple, And just in
Speaker 12: that little moment, I was probably like eleven tennis, A
Speaker 12: little seed was planned.
Speaker 3: That I think is a big part of how this book.
Speaker 12: Can to be.
Speaker 4: How satisfying does it feel to actually complete your first book?
Speaker 12: Oh my god, it's it's the biggest reward, to be honest.
Speaker 12: The day where I sent it in and it was
Speaker 12: like done, done, done done. It's bigger than any reward
Speaker 12: I can get. So I'm just grateful it's out there.
Speaker 12: I'm grateful people are reading, and I'm grateful people are
Speaker 12: thinking about the prison system and how we can maybe
Speaker 12: be more compassionate.
Speaker 3: So that's really the big gift.
Speaker 4: Okay, this might be a little disrespectful to you, Mary kill,
Speaker 4: Tony Morrison or Neil Hurston, James Baldwin.
Speaker 3: My English teach is gonna kill me.
Speaker 12: Tony's the god, so I want to marry her, and
Speaker 12: then I feel bad to even say it. Joor Neil
Speaker 12: Hurston and I would.
Speaker 3: Have some relations. Be right back.
Speaker 1: That's our folk for tonight.
Speaker 3: But before we go, please considering supporting Food Education Fund.
Speaker 4: They prepare and empower students with lessons in the culinary arts, hospitality.
Speaker 3: And entrepreneurship. If you can, please donate at the link below.
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