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Speaker 1: You hear me confession. I can't take back o arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to sevent eighty five ninety two, says

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Speaker 2: police officer here. Whenever I put up police tape around

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Speaker 2: an incident, I purposely put it upside down because I

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Speaker 2: know it pisses so many people off.

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Speaker 3: Really, people get angry at that. I get upset about that.

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Speaker 2: I probably should be worried about the crime that just

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Speaker 2: happened in my neighborhood. But I'm more like, what psychopath

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Speaker 2: put the tape upside down and ruin my day?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 4: You cut off the word police in the middle.

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Speaker 3: It's his.

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Speaker 1: Is this?

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Speaker 2: But honestly, I think maybe the biggest crime is not

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Speaker 2: telling us your deepest, darkest secrets right here.

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Speaker 3: Upside down or right side up, doesn't matter exactly.

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Speaker 2: And luckily we have a brave soul who wants to

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Speaker 2: come forward today and tell his truth using the fake

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Speaker 2: name David.

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Speaker 4: So, David, welcome to the show on howe are.

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Speaker 1: You guys doing?

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Speaker 3: Hey, you sound really happy for a guy who's about

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Speaker 3: to spill something.

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Speaker 1: It's been a good morning, but this incident was not

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Speaker 1: a good day. But today it's been a good day.

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Speaker 2: Well, we're ready to go on this journey with you,

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Speaker 2: the voice changers on, you are the mass speaker. Whenever

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Speaker 2: you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: So I have a five year old nephew, Okay, and

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Speaker 1: a few weeks ago, my sister calls me and she

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Speaker 1: has this hair appointment and she's running super late, and

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Speaker 1: so she's like, hey, can you like pick up my

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Speaker 1: nephew for a birthday party that he's at and at

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Speaker 1: this like Arcade Fund Center and I live kind of

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Speaker 1: close to it, So I'm like sure.

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Speaker 3: I got you know, when I was in my twenties,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, why would anyone ever want to live where

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Speaker 3: their family lives? Gross?

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Speaker 4: And then you have kids and you're like I need

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Speaker 4: a constant life life.

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Speaker 3: Okay, And that's a good brother move, dude, Hey good uncle.

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Speaker 1: So like I get there and like this place is

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Speaker 1: just absolutely packed, Like kids are screaming and like running

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Speaker 1: around and like bouncing around like pinballs, like it's absolute chaos. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I find him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean those kids zones are nuts.

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Speaker 1: And so like I finally see like his big shaggy

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Speaker 1: mop a brown air, and I'm like, yeah, we gotta go,

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Speaker 1: Like your mouths waiting and like, you know how kids

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Speaker 1: like when they're having fun and stuff like that, and

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Speaker 1: they never want to leave when you show up to

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Speaker 1: get him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they sadly can't hear you at all.

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Speaker 1: So he like just takes off with his friends laughing.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, so I'm basically like chasing him around

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Speaker 1: this arcade, which is.

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Speaker 3: More fun for him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I finally get out and I put him in the car. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we're driving over the salon and he's crying the

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Speaker 1: whole time. I'm like, buddy, I'm sorry, like we had

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Speaker 1: to leave.

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Speaker 4: Five year olds respond so well to like perfect logic

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Speaker 4: and reason, why are you crying? Kids?

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's why I pulled the girl. I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I know how I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: cheer him up. I stopped really quick for McDonald's and

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Speaker 1: I got him some chicken nuggets and that made him

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Speaker 1: stop crying.

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Speaker 3: There tracked him with works out alexis too, Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: love a happy meal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. But like, so here's where it gets crazy. So

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Speaker 1: I ask him. I'm like, hey, buddy, like you're feeling better,

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Speaker 1: and he says, my mom drives a red car And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you talking about you. No, she doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Your mom drives a white Odyssey, And so I look

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Speaker 1: back in the rear view mirror and I realized that

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Speaker 1: it's the same hair, but this kid is not my nephew.

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Speaker 1: What oh god, holy crap, I just kidnapped a child.

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Speaker 1: It's been like twenty minutes since I loved the arcade

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Speaker 1: because we stop.

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Speaker 3: How did you not realize he wasn't your nephew.

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Speaker 1: Because I was in a rush and they had the

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Speaker 1: same hair, and like they were the same type of

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Speaker 1: outfits that I usually see my nephew.

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Speaker 4: Mais do you think his mom would notice?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll take this one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you must have been freaking out.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, I was freaking out. These people are like

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Speaker 1: probably like in they're like looking for him or something.

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Speaker 1: Like I turn around and I speed back, and like

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Speaker 1: I bring this random kid back inside, trying not to

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Speaker 1: be seen by anybody. I'm not trying to make it obvious,

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Speaker 1: like a coat over.

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Speaker 4: His face, like nobody looked at him.

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Speaker 3: The five year old's gonna be like, oh, mommy, I

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Speaker 3: took me on a ride to McDonald And the mom

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Speaker 3: was like yeah, right, whatever.

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Speaker 1: Then I actually like see my actual nephew. You know, like, buddy, hurry,

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Speaker 1: we gotta go.

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Speaker 3: Wait, you didn't go find this poor kid's mother that

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Speaker 3: you took.

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Speaker 1: No, I didn't.

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Speaker 3: Why if she had already left? What did she had

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Speaker 3: gone to the police? I mean like, what if she

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Speaker 3: wasn't there, then dude didn't take it through?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dah that the place will see a child and know.

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Speaker 4: That they'll react accordingly.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a child playplace, like they should have protocols to.

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Speaker 4: This found with the other kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, but you found your nephew and and you

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Speaker 2: actually got him.

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Speaker 1: Like I got him back and dropped off with my

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Speaker 1: sister at the Airthlow and she's like, hey, like how

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Speaker 1: to go? Were there any problems? I'm like nope, and

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Speaker 1: I leave.

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Speaker 3: Do you know if there's like a search warring out

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Speaker 3: for you or please are gonna come find you?

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Speaker 1: Nobody's said anything, Nobody brought it up. I never planned

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Speaker 1: on telling anybody coming in. Apparently then I grabbed the

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Speaker 1: wrong kid. Oh my god. I'm even scared to put

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Speaker 1: it on like one of those weird Reddit threads because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what if so many traces my IP address

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Speaker 1: and find out where I live.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're gonna go to like one of

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Speaker 2: his school plays, and that random kid is going to

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Speaker 2: recognize he was gonna be like McDonald's guy everyone, This guy.

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Speaker 4: Will take anyone for free.

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Speaker 1: McDonald's.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're lucky you got away with that man, That

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Speaker 2: was a close guy.

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Speaker 1: Lucky I got away with that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not a lot of crimes you can be in

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Speaker 2: the middle of committing and then reverse the crime.

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Speaker 1: Never mind.

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Speaker 3: I do feel like that's how kidnappers would be though,

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Speaker 3: Like they get the kid in the car and ten

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Speaker 3: minutes later like, hey, yeah, I chose.

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Speaker 4: You, stop crying. I chosen dud. The text in the

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Speaker 4: seven eight five nine too.

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Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 4: Your phone taps coming up right after this.

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning