WEBVTT - Time to Give Your Family the Boot 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.880 Oh God, welcome to summer. Huh, summer is we are 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:07.120 in the thick of it. I love it. I love it. 0:00:07.160 --> 0:00:08.600 I love it. I love it. I love it. I've 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.640 had so much fun this summer between work and vacation 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:15.200 and then work and the vacation and then work. And 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.680 I will be in Canada performing at the Great Outdoors 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:23.880 Comedy Festival in Edmonton on August, so tickets are available 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.920 for that. There's just so many exciting things happening. I mean, 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:29.880 this has been turned into a jam packed summer. People 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.800 really want to be out. People are horny. I always 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:36.520 loved summer, but now I just like when summer wraps 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.360 up because that means ski season is on the approach. Well, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.479 you know what the problem with summer now is is 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.199 that it's too hot everywhere because the planet is melting 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:47.000 and I can't even imagine what it's like for people 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:49.920 who don't have air conditioning. My friends went through that 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:52.800 heat wave in Vancouver and they were like dying and 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:54.440 it was like, I mean, they would Marco Polo me 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.600 and they would look like they were passing away. I'm like, 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:58.960 are you guys serious about this heat? But I didn't 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:01.480 take into consideration and what that must be like without 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.200 a c well, their bodies aren't acclimated to that sort 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:08.800 of temperature increase. No, no, no, So yeah, it's only 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:10.760 going to get worse and worse. But I did read 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:14.640 something interesting about heat domes. So heat domes are part 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:16.760 of what makes you know, it's just like a heat wave, 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:20.240 what creates a heat wave. But yet that's exacerbated by 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.600 global warming and climate change. So while we have these 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:27.320 weather patterns, you know, it's not like global warming. It's 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.319 a it's a product of all of it, right, and 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:31.560 it's or no, maybe I said that wrong. I say 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:33.640 so many things wrong. I don't even know what's up anymore, 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:38.840 sideways upside down from behind. Sorry anyway, you know what 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.640 I'm saying. It's hot, you know, and I think we 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.640 can all agree it's too hot. It's not pleasant at all. 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.919 You know, it's just no one's going to take it seriously, 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.120 these older politicians, because they love the heat. I mean, 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:52.440 they want to sweat through every layer of clothing they wear. 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:55.280 But it's like mosquitoes are everywhere now. So you go 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:58.080 over to someone's house in the valley and you can't 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:00.920 you come back and you're eating alive. It's just like, 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:03.920 why are there There were never mosquitoes in California, not 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:05.840 that I picked up on. That was an East coast 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.360 thing because of the humidity, and now it's a West 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.919 coast thing. And I'm not into it. And I don't 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.120 know anybody who is into fucking mosquitoes. And if you 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.960 do know, somebody tell them, I said, to funk off, 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.760 or tell them to call in because they need help. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:21.760 I just I just have a problem. You know. I 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.480 don't mind bugs so much. Everyone's either scared of spiders 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.840 or they're scared of snakes, right, like bugs or snakes. Obviously, 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:30.919 I'm scared of snakes. I've talked about this publicly privately 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.800 to anyone who will listen. I once saw a snake 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:37.480 on safari and my said, I slapped my sister across 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:40.320 the face when I saw it because I was so scared. 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:45.280 And our safari guide was like, you're in Africa, what 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:47.680 did you think was going to happen? And I said, 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:49.320 I I didn't think I was going to see a 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:52.440 snake outside my room. That's what I didn't think. So 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.480 I hit my sister across the face because that's the 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:56.120 reaction I have when I see a snake. I have 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:59.240 to hit somebody, and I hit her and then I 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:02.160 went to kick her and she blocked me, but then 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.480 held onto me tight because she knew that I was 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:07.480 having a childlike reaction to snakes, which I always do, 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:10.440 And it was almost like she stopped me from having 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.919 a seizure. Even though I don't have epilepsy, I would 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:17.440 like my body would involuntarily react without me. So that's 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:19.639 what happened in Africa. And I was trying to hook 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.280 up with our safari guide, so that put the ki 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:22.920 bush on that as soon as he saw me so 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.560 scared of snakes, he lost all respect for me. I 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.040 saw a snake on my hike the other day where 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.079 Freeman trail, and I shoot it off the trail. I've 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.120 a rattlesnake. No, it was not a rattlesnake, but I've 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:38.520 tried to have more respect for animals when I'm in 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.560 their space. So it was slithering across the little track 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:45.560 and then stopped, and so I took a sick and 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:46.920 I just tried to get it to go down the 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.560 hill because I'm I feel like you know, I mean, 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.040 I mean your home I'm on your territory, and normally 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.560 I would be repulsed or terrified, but I just tried 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.240 to remember, you know, he doesn't want any trouble. I 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.840 don't want any trouble. So it's just that's what I 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:01.840 have to remember when I see a snake. He doesn't 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.200 want any trouble. My problem is that I believe they 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.800 want trouble and that they will chase me, and that 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:08.800 I My friend was telling me the other day to 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.720 come to Bowen Island because her parents are there, and 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:14.600 then she proceeded to tell me two stories about snakes 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:16.880 that she found. She found one in the water. I 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:22.120 was like, that's it. One swimming in the water. Why 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.560 are they in the water? Water moccasins. That's why we 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:26.800 won't get in a lake anymore. I'm reading this book 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.600 called Atomic Habits, I think it's by his names by 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:33.680 James Clear and this is more about like achieving your 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.159 goals by changing your identity. And one of the things 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.000 he says is like we are in charge of the 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.560 perception we make for ourselves. So instead of the example 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.680 that he uses in the book is if you were 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:46.840 a smoker and someone offered you a cigarette while you 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:48.840 were trying to quit. Instead of saying, oh, I'm trying 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:51.400 to quit, you would reply with, oh, I don't smoke, 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:55.360 and so in that way, I think you just need 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.480 to retrain your brain to say I'm not afraid of 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.280 these snakes. Like the more you tell your self, the 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:02.480 more it becomes part of your identity, so that repetition 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:05.640 of habit. So maybe you just need to start saying 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.960 how much you love snakes every day. Okay, I mean, 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.960 I guess I could try that, but okay, yeah, I 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:13.960 mean I hear what you're saying about being in their 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.320 land or on their you know, on their turf. I 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:19.480 get that that's true. Same goes for sharks. Then you 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.160 know you're in their water. And that's why I don't 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:24.120 get in the water. I'm just never gonna stop swimming 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:26.359 in the ocean. I can't stop, won't stop. I love 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.520 the ocean and I love swimming, and I love sitting 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:33.320 with my nieces in the water, you know, on Nantucket 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:35.800 or Martha's Vineyard. This year we went to Nantucket, but 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:38.640 we usually we go to Martha's Vineyard. But I have 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:41.000 to say I would give them both rave reviews. And 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.520 I kind of like Nantucket a lot, which is kind 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.880 of weird because I'm such a vineyard her But I 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.880 don't know. Eventually I'm going to want to shack up 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:52.680 there one of those places with my family. Yeah, as 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.279 my sister and I transition into late life lesbians, we 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:58.000 could probably move. We probably want to be bi coastal. 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.920 I mean, all lesbians should be by coastal, right, I think. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:02.600 So it's the only way. Do you want to give 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.359 a quick one off advice because we have a submission. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.240 I love a one off Sure, Okay, this submission says, 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.280 Dear Chelsea, I have a crush on a colleague at work, 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:11.920 and I'm trying to figure out how to take the 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:15.480 friendship further while remaining respectful and appropriate. Any advice would 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:21.559 be great, Leah, what do you think? Okay? So, okay, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:25.200 let's answer it first. As a woman, I would definitely 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:28.280 Since men can't approach you in the workplace and you 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:30.320 have a crush on him, it's important that you let 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.800 him know because he can't take that chance right now. 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:36.400 So what's a cute way to do that? Do you 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:41.520 think either a note or a text or something cute? 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.040 But I think it's up to you to kind of 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.880 just say, like, what's the most respectful way to say it? 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:50.760 Like I have to ask a question, how do they communicate? 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.480 What's their communication form? I think a safe bet is 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:57.640 always to do a small work gathering, so a happy 0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:59.680 hour where it's not a ton of people, it's not 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:02.080 everyone in the office, but maybe like five or six people. 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.279 So that way, there's not as much pressure in the 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.760 initial interaction outside of work if you've not hung out 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:08.960 outside of work yet, because then you can kind of 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:11.920 use that as you're jumping off point to do something 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.240 just you too, you know, like, oh, how great happy 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:15.440 are it was? You had so much fun? Maybe you 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:18.560 guys would want to get dinner together sometime. So I 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:22.520 think that's a non invasive way maybe to approach that. 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:24.880 So that's a good first step. I don't know what 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:26.840 your work situation is like, but yeah, that's a good 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.040 thing to do because then you can kind of make 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.560 some inroads at that event where you can kind of 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:34.280 flirt a little or whatever, get the vibe going. And 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.560 then after that, I think a little note is cute. 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:39.960 Who does that anymore? You know, it's cute to write 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.400 a little note, leave it on his desk, just something 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.120 that's a little flirty, like, hey, I had a great 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:46.760 time with you the other night. I would love to 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.080 go out with you alone, Like this is after that little, 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:51.400 you know, group activity, I would love to go out 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:52.880 with you. I would love to do it again. If 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:55.600 you're interested, let me know, Like that's kind of harmless 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.480 if not, no worries. I think it's nice for women 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.080 to reach out to men, especially during this time right now. 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:05.080 What do you think agree? I don't know what, what 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.640 more sound advice you could get. I think that women 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.520 coming into like their voice and their power in those 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.880 situations and saying this is what I'm interested in, and 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:15.920 that is that is hot for a woman to do, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.320 To be the one to kind of take that step 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.240 and put herself out there in that way. There's no 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.920 greater feeling after you make a move like that to wait. 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:25.680 I love it. I mean, yeah, sometimes you don't get 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.600 the answer you want, but it's so exciting to take 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:29.960 a leap like that, Like I love reaching out to 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:31.880 someone who doesn't know that I'm interested in, just like 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:34.400 kind of putting it out there. I love it. And 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.959 I've been rejected doing that and I'm still fine with it. 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:38.840 So what if it were a man. For we're a 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.240 man who had a crush on a colleague and I 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:42.840 was trying to figure out how to take the friendship 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.280 further well remaining respectful, I think I would say to 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.040 write a note. Also, I would probably give the same advice, 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:56.640 but I would really emphasize his propriety and his approach 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.680 and make sure that it doesn't feel intimidating in a 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:02.560 pro appriate. You don't have to say that to women, 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:05.800 but that would be what would differ from my advice 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.400 to a man. Yeah, as a man, you need to 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.840 be respectful of her space and that it is a 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:14.880 workplace for her, and you don't want to have any 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:18.520 woman on the defense at work if you're interest in 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:22.800 her is not not wanted or not reciprocated. Rather so 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:24.720 I think, And if you're a gay man, I would 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:26.960 my advice would be whip out your but chucky and 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.600 just let it rip. Chuck. Yeah, that's what I haven't heard. 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:31.960 Oh really, but chucky, that's our that's our family word 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:36.120 for penis, but chucky, kaslopis and Pikachu. Oh and then 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:38.240 boom c is a fart. We don't say fart or 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.400 and we don't say. We say take a should you be. 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.360 If somebody has to go number two, we call it 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:43.880 a should be. So we have a lot of code 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:45.800 words in our family, but we all understand what they mean, 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:49.640 and so do all our friends. Leah, hope that solved 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:52.199 your problem. Yeah, Leah, good luck with that problem solved. 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:55.120 If you guys end up together, I could call us, Okay, 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.080 we're gonna take a minute and we're gonna have some 0:09:57.120 --> 0:10:01.360 time for some ads and we'll be right back. Bert 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.920 can't see the steps for some reason from the bed, 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.560 like even though he walks down them every morning, sometimes 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.800 he doesn't remember where they are, which is in line 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:13.720 with his brain chemistry, because every time I come home 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.160 it feels like I have to reintroduce myself too. So 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.040 when he comes on the bed, if he doesn't see 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.960 the steps in the morning, I've well twice now he's 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.880 fallen off the bed. I'm surprised he survived, and it 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.640 also explains why he's very slow, because he has obviously 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:33.280 several head injuries or concussions over the last few months. 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.080 But when he does fall off the bed, it is 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:39.160 a an alarming sound, but not alarming enough for me 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.000 to get up because I know that his fur is 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:45.560 patting him, and as a parent, that's really all I 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:50.120 can hope for or ask for. Actually, I did start 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.480 carrying a cabbage patch kid around the house and was 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:56.640 breastfeeding it to convince Bert and Bernice that I actually 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.560 am maternal and I am a mother because my Bell keeps. 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.160 My Bell's my housekeeper, and she keeps telling me the 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:06.679 reason why the dogs love her so much is because 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.520 she is a mother, and they know that I'm barren. 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.439 So I tried to counter that with my cabbage patch 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:17.920 kid that I found, and well, I'm not producing milk. 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:22.800 But Bert as also not really paying attention because as 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:24.960 soon as my Bell leaves the house, he goes to 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:26.920 sleep for the night because it's like it's sucking over 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.439 his his day is over, so he goes to sleep. 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:32.839 So anything I do, that's my window to be with them. 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.080 And they both don't want to be with me because 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:38.080 they're pissed that my Bell left, and so in that time, 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:40.800 whatever I do is useless because their eyes are closed anyway, 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.440 because they're so miserable because they hate me so much. 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.880 I'm glad those two can't talk. You know, they wouldn't 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:51.200 have anything nice to say. No, definitely, not not to me, 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.960 that's for sure. I mean Bernice came up the other morning, 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:56.960 climbed up someone was there was a workman in the house. 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:59.480 She climbed up the little doggy steps. I'm in my 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.360 bed on my computer in my bathroom in the morning. 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.679 She climbs up the doggy steps, walks right over to me. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:07.760 I go, and I put my hand out to Petter, 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.760 and she runs in the opposite direction and runs off 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:13.520 the bed like I'm a rapist, like I've beaten her, 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.360 and runs off the bed, runs down the stairs. What 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:21.160 what the fund is that? Why? Team? But why is 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.600 she coming up to taunt me like that? Is she 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.560 playing with me? Their emotions? I don't know. I mean 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.320 these two dogs, honestly, the next two dogs I get, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.560 I might not get chows. I need some a little bit. 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.040 I mean I know I will, because they're just fucking cute. 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.320 And I love having a furry snuff leophagus in my 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.320 bed every night, whether he wants to be there or not. 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.280 He doesn't even know what's happening, because you know, I 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:46.880 carry him, I carry him downstairs after he passes out 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.520 on the floor. He's like a furry slinky. His dead 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.000 weight and his dead skin. You know, I have to 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:53.960 put him over my shoulder, and then I bring him 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:55.600 upstairs and I threw him on the bed and he 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.240 just never wakes up. Nothing, nothing will wake him up 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.360 once she's gone, unless he is off the bed. Bert's 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.160 been letting me pet him, and that's been very exciting. 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:06.440 I know. Well, his body is such a wonderland that 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.880 if you you know, just even touching his fur is soothing. 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.360 It's like almost self soothing. When I touched his body, 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.959 it feels like your fingers can get lost in his 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:18.319 like head and neck meat. Yeah, and under army we've 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.960 got two big flaps, right, and the hair is so soft. 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:26.120 I know, I love it. He's really like a teddy bear. Okay, 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:29.360 so you want to go into callers right away. Let's 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.120 just get into him, all right, Let's just get into 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.360 it then. All right. Well Katie out of Corona, California. 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.360 She's thirty one, right, Dear Chelsea, my husband just want 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.839 to say something about your voice. It's you know, it's 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.280 very soothing. It's almost like a laxative. I used to 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.920 have this thing where my mom would call me when 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.000 I was like, moved to California, and as soon as 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:48.720 I heard her voice, I had to go to the 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:52.520 bathroom because she was so relaxing that it helps, like 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.679 just relax me. And my sister said the same thing. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.079 She goes, Oh my god, that's so funny. When I 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:58.640 was at college and I talked to mom on the phone, 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:00.640 I had to go to the bathroom too, like it 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.800 just lets everything flow. Okay, I'm going to take that 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:05.760 as a compliment, so I would say that your voice 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.880 also has that effect on me, because not yet, but 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.760 I think one day I will. I can't wait for 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.040 that day. She writes, Dear Chelsea, my husband and I 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:17.840 recently had our first child, the first grandchild on both 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.160 sides of the family. We spent the last four years 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.720 living in Europe and just moved back to California, closer 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:24.880 to our families who are Trump supporters. We are not. 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.080 My husband and I are currently struggling with certain family 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:32.240 members who continuously make racist and insensitive comments. For example, 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.880 one family member in particular hates the Black Lives Matter 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:37.200 movement and all the blacks on TV now and how 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.680 he's boycotting the NFL. Another family member will make rude 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:44.240 comments about illegals and all the Mexicans taking over. Needless 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:45.960 to say, my husband and I are tired of this 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.040 type of behavior and do not want them speaking this 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.400 way in front of our daughter. They already think I'm 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:52.760 a liberal snowflake who's too sensitive, so I feel like 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.720 no matter how I address these issues, they're going to 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.840 blow me off. It's such a terrible position to be in. 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.640 But it should also be noted that in her written submission, 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.960 she did put quotes around things like blacks and illegals 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:09.720 because she was directly quoting family members. Okay, Katie, what's 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.320 going on? What's what's the situation? But now that you're home, 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:15.480 Hi Katie, Hi, thank you for having me on. Sorry 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:20.920 about your parents they suck and grandparents aying you want 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:22.480 to say they're good people, right, because they would never 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.680 speak this way in public or around these groups of people. 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.960 So it's where's the disconnect of why would you speak 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.880 that way in front of my husband and I who 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.760 don't share these same views and don't speak that way, 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.600 especially now that we have a child. I don't want 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:39.800 them speaking that way in front of her ever, And 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.000 I feel like we're not the only people going through 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.560 this right, Like, everyone has a family member who will 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:47.840 make an insensitive comment, and we need to move away 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:51.320 from Oh, Grandpa's just being grandpa or Mom's just always 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.040 been that way, And it's how do you set those 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.960 boundaries with your family members and your parents who didn't 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:58.680 raise you to be this way. You know, we're taught 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:02.600 to be considerate of other be polite, respect authority, and 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.960 I don't know where that disconnect is now with our 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:10.320 parents generation in particular. So I think it's just really 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.240 hard because you love them and you want them to 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:15.560 have a relationship with your child, but it's also this 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.560 is not okay, and I don't want this to hurt 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.680 our relationship, but this can't continue. So what what kind 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.240 of conversations have you had thus far? Have you told them? 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.320 Like how hateful that is, so like what they're talking about, 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.400 how hateful that is to have around your daughter to 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.400 talk about blacks on television and he doesn't like the 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:35.200 Black Lives Matter movement, Like that's hate driven. Yeah, And 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:37.480 I think with my husband side of the family, I 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.640 don't feel as comfortable as with my own family. So 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:42.560 I just say, yeah, things are changing, you know, and 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.040 kind of leave it at that, and if my husband's 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:47.680 not there, I don't know what more I could really say. 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:49.600 I guess having a bigger backbone and being like, hey, 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:53.000 that really makes me uncomfortable. It is insensitive and not 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:55.440 even sorry it makes you uncomfortable. It's that's just how 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.760 things are now. But with my side of the family, 0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:59.640 I'll say, you know, like, I don't like that? Can 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.760 we please? Like? That is really mean and it's kind 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:04.680 of out of nowhere. They have no reason to feel 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.119 this way about these groups of people. See this is 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:09.080 bad for me because I have no tolerance for that, 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:11.280 And I would argue, who cares? Then you to keep 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.240 your daughter away from them, then they shouldn't be around 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.359 that kind of hate. But I know people care about 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:17.439 seeing their families and they want their families to be 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:19.280 involved with their children at least that's what I hear, 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.600 So I get that angle of it. I can't tell 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.160 you how many questions we get like this. People are 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:29.160 always writing in about cutting out friends and family out 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:34.560 of their lives because of racism or bigotry, all of it. 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:37.879 And but everybody's not a lost cause. Like if you 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:41.160 can really demonstrate the hate and the harm that black 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.400 families have grown up with and and all BIPOC people 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:46.879 and all marginalized group have grown up with and the 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.000 hatred and bigotry against them, and how damaging that is. 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.479 You know, like facts are facts. I mean, look at 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.040 how many black people were shot the week Derek Chauvin 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:57.600 was convicted. You know, look at what had happened. I mean, 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:02.159 it's undeniable that there is the system working against black 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.679 people in this country, and that they're part of it. 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:08.520 We're all part of it, but they're actively perpetuating it. Yeah, 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.520 and to be irritated with it for no reason because 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:13.520 it's not actually affecting their day to day life, to 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.520 me is mind boggling. And I want our daughter to 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.000 grow up. I'm hoping that our kids generation doesn't see 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:24.280 any of these conflicts or oh, how can we help 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:26.560 these people? Or yeah, that's really rough that they've gone 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.680 through this for so long, or seeing a homeless person. 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:30.840 Instead of being like, oh, they made bad life decisions, 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:34.000 it's how can we help, Like let's move away from 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:37.040 being negative or seeing things as a negative way and 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:39.320 turning around is how can we help How can we 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:42.080 make a difference to Yeah, how can we enforce change, 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.679 and how can we go with change and be supportive? Like, 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.080 what is your family's excuse for saying I hate all 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.239 these black people on TV? I mean, what do you 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.840 say when they say something like that, Yeah, I mean 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.560 that recently just happened. When you said we have like 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:57.520