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Speaker 1: Hey, hey va fam, welcome to I think this is

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Speaker 1: the first time I've ever done this. This is not

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Speaker 1: your usual Brown table, This is not your usual episode

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Speaker 1: of Brown Ambition. This is a look back at my

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Speaker 1: favorite moments of Summer twenty twenty five. I actually did

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Speaker 1: the math, and I added up the number of episodes

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Speaker 1: we have aired since late May through now at the

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Speaker 1: end of August. Y'all, I've aired something like thirty four episodes.

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Speaker 1: That's insane. That's more episodes than some podcasts put out

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Speaker 1: in an entire season. And I'm giving you that in

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Speaker 1: one summer. Okay, I've been working hard and it was

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Speaker 1: difficult to come up with my five favorite moments. But

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Speaker 1: I started from I started by basically asking myself, you know,

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Speaker 1: what were the episodes that when I think about the

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Speaker 1: past summer, the ones that I have enjoyed actually going

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Speaker 1: back and listening to you And I try to listen

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Speaker 1: to ninety nine point nine percent of every episode, even

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Speaker 1: after it's aired, even after I experienced it while I was.

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Speaker 2: Recording the show. But I just care that much.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely, I honestly have a different experience when I'm

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Speaker 1: listening back to the episodes versus when I'm in it

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Speaker 1: as the interviewer. And this may come as no shock

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Speaker 1: to y'all, because hello, black woman syndrome. I am so

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Speaker 1: hard on myself as an interviewer, and there's multiple times

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Speaker 1: I have hung up, I'll say, or stopped recording an

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Speaker 1: episode with a guest or a couple of guests, and

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Speaker 1: I've just been like, man, was that good? Is be

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Speaker 1: a fan going to enjoy this? Did I teach them

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Speaker 1: anything new? Did they learn anything new? Did I ask

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Speaker 1: some compelling questions? Or did I ask the right questions

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Speaker 1: that led to compelling answers. I care a lot, and

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Speaker 1: y'all are always so kind and you know, always so

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Speaker 1: positive in the feedback that I've gotten.

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Speaker 2: But that all that is to say.

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Speaker 1: I listen back to the show, and almost every time

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Speaker 1: I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, well, damn, that's pretty good.

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Speaker 1: It's just like it's so funny. It doesn't matter how

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Speaker 1: many times that happens. I'll still give myself a hard time.

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Speaker 1: And then a week of two weeks or three weeks,

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Speaker 1: however long it takes before the episode airs will go by.

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Speaker 1: I'll listen to it on Fresh Ears as a listener,

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Speaker 1: and I enjoy the hell out of it. I kind

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Speaker 1: of love the show that I make. Isn't that crazy?

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Speaker 1: I hope y'all do too, But let me get into it.

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Speaker 1: Today we are looking back at five five key favorite

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Speaker 1: moments from Summer twenty twenty five, and I want to

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Speaker 1: kick things off by first looking back at my conversation

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Speaker 1: with relationship coaches and dating experts Francesca Hogy and Spicy Mody.

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Speaker 1: Spicy Motty is the host of Sneaky Links on Netflix,

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Speaker 1: which 'all should go check out. Francesca Hogy came out

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Speaker 1: with a relationship dating advice book this past year that's

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Speaker 1: called how to Find True Love, and I really enjoyed

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Speaker 1: our conversation. I went into it thinking We're going to

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Speaker 1: have a great conversation even though I'm an old, married lady,

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Speaker 1: and that's exactly what happened. These women are so sharp,

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Speaker 1: so brilliant, so good at what they do, and I

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Speaker 1: think there's a reason why it was the most listened

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Speaker 1: to episode of the summer. That's right, these ladies took

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Speaker 1: the crown. That's not the only reason why I love it,

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Speaker 1: and you're going to hear why in this clip. Enjoy.

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Speaker 3: I think there's signs that we miss that we ignore.

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Speaker 4: I think that that's what we have to understand as women.

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Speaker 4: I trained with the Gotmans and one of the things

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Speaker 4: that they speak highly on is a woman's power of influence.

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Speaker 4: If a man cannot be influenced by her, she has

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Speaker 4: no power. And so that's where we need to wake up.

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Speaker 5: And I agree, and I think when it comes to dating,

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Speaker 5: the way that I talk about this is like you

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Speaker 5: want to see and we're being so heteronormative here, So

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Speaker 5: any who's like not straight, I see you and I

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Speaker 5: acknowledge you. And this everything that I'm saying to me

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Speaker 5: actually applies to everyone, which is when you're dating somebody

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Speaker 5: and early dating, I'm like, if somebody is not an

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Speaker 5: early dating able to like meet you where you are,

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Speaker 5: and that's how I think of it, right, So even

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Speaker 5: like like like a take a common scenario, somebody matches

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Speaker 5: with somebody on a dating app or maybe you meet

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Speaker 5: them in person, and now you're texting buddies, right, And

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Speaker 5: now you're texting and they're texting you, good morning, beautiful,

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Speaker 5: how's your day?

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Speaker 6: And you and you have this.

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Speaker 5: Whole like superficial non relationship, like this texting relationship, and

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Speaker 5: when people they'll be like, oh God, just like why

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Speaker 5: does he just keep sending me this? And I'm like, well,

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Speaker 5: do something about that, like don't just respond to those

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Speaker 5: messages every day, like say like, hey, you know what

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Speaker 5: if you actually like if you if you want to

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Speaker 5: get to know me, if you want you know, if

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Speaker 5: you want to move things forward, if you want to

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Speaker 5: get like let me know, Like you just put the

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Speaker 5: ball in his court. And that to me is like Okay,

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Speaker 5: who can meet you there? Who can be like okay, yes,

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Speaker 5: Like I'd love to take you out. What time you know,

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Speaker 5: when are you available? What is your weekend looking like? What?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 7: That's what I'm looking for.

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Speaker 5: And I want people to like feel empowered to say,

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Speaker 5: like I don't just have to go along with the

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Speaker 5: just how it is or how this other person is behaving.

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Speaker 5: I actually am co creating this dynamic because that's the thing.

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Speaker 5: And I think in dating, I maani, tell me what

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Speaker 5: you think about this. But I think so many people

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Speaker 5: are so focused on I want somebody who checks all

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Speaker 5: these boxes, and they just are so focused on the

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Speaker 5: other person that they're not actually thinking about but what

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Speaker 5: happens when we come together? What are we co creating together,

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Speaker 5: because that relationship that the two of you are going

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Speaker 5: to have is its own entity. It's a brand new dynamic.

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Speaker 2: It's never existed before.

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Speaker 5: And if you are from the very beginning just like, well,

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Speaker 5: I'm just gonna sit here and hope that you know,

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Speaker 5: they read my mind and hope that they step up

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Speaker 5: Like that's not what are you doing? You know, you're

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Speaker 5: setting yourself up for not great success in the long term.

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Speaker 5: In my opinion, what do you think.

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Speaker 4: Mar I think that it's extremely important that you always

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Speaker 4: check in with self, right, So even in so that's

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Speaker 4: like to start with the first communication piece that you said, right,

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Speaker 4: I don't like the way that this guy is messaging

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Speaker 4: and he hasn't asked me out yet. I know you

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Speaker 4: aren't as heavy as differentiating between the masculine and feminine,

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Speaker 4: but the masculine will say this is you know, this

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Speaker 4: is wasting my time. If you're not that into me

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Speaker 4: and you're not taking me out, I gotta go. What

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Speaker 4: I practice is the feminine, which is what is the

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Speaker 4: language that he needs to hear to get what I want.

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Speaker 4: So I really enjoy speing with you. It is so stimulating.

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Speaker 4: I would love for us to take this to you know,

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Speaker 4: maybe a FaceTime and potentially see if the energy match

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Speaker 4: is there. Once we establish that, then we can move

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Speaker 4: them to, Oh I really loved this. I would love

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Speaker 4: to see you in person. You know we had a

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Speaker 4: great connection. It is it's in the language that we

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Speaker 4: use that makes them feel good about themselves. But also

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Speaker 4: checking in with well, when I do this, how does

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Speaker 4: he make me feel about me? Do I like how

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Speaker 4: he is responding to me? If I don't like how

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Speaker 4: because I know I'm coming with it because I have

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Speaker 4: the skill. But if he's not showing up and reinforcing

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Speaker 4: the great juju that I'm giving, then I know it's

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Speaker 4: not a good fit. And then the second element is

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Speaker 4: I'm a huge advocate for something that I created called

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Speaker 4: the pizza. Five qualities is the crust that you believe

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Speaker 4: makes him a good person. Okay, if this these are

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Speaker 4: the five core values that you have, and his character

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Speaker 4: doesn't align with those five core values of the crust,

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Speaker 4: then we can't move on to the sauce. Because the

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Speaker 4: sauce is what are the five qualities of what I

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Speaker 4: need to feel loved?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 4: I know how I give love? These are these five qualities,

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Speaker 4: But how do I need to experience it from him.

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Speaker 4: What is the treatment, because if he can't come through

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Speaker 4: with the treatment, I don't care if he checks off

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Speaker 4: all the good person things. Now, the treatment is what

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Speaker 4: actually helps you guys to be involved, to do the

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Speaker 4: dance together, to show his interest and his pursuit. And

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Speaker 4: then the last five or the toppings, Well, what do

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Speaker 4: I need to be sexually attracted and take my clothes

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Speaker 4: off for him? Because the toppings are always negotiable? Right

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Speaker 4: if he comes with the crust and the sauce, you're

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Speaker 4: gonna want to be naked for him. So what are

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Speaker 4: those things? And I think that we have missed it.

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Speaker 4: I think we're like, well, we need him to earn this,

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Speaker 4: and we need him to be this, and we need

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Speaker 4: him to, you know, take me out on ten dates

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Speaker 4: before you like. There's so much noise out there about

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Speaker 4: relationships and not coming from people like you and I Francesca,

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Speaker 4: who have studied this, who have practiced this, who have

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Speaker 4: implemented this, who have tested it on clients, and the

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Speaker 4: internet is telling people twenty thousand different things about what

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Speaker 4: to do, coming from people who it's not their purpose.

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Speaker 4: It is not their purpose. They are not walking and

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Speaker 4: listening to God's voice. When they're giving you that information,

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Speaker 4: they're speaking from wounds, they're speaking from sometimes because I'm spiritual.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes it's the enemy. They don't want us in healthy relationship.

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Speaker 4: They're just venting. They grabbed a mic and they're venting.

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Speaker 4: But they're not guiding us to love. And that starts

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Speaker 4: from us when within the feminine, I'm sorry. We are

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Speaker 4: the masters of love. We are the masters of love,

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Speaker 4: and if we're not tapping into it, then that's also

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Speaker 4: going to have a ricochet effect.

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Speaker 3: On our men.

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Speaker 4: But no, we don't stay longer than we should. We

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Speaker 4: test for it all the time.

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Speaker 3: What are some early relationship green flags for y'all, like

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Speaker 3: if you're seeing these things from the beginning, even if

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Speaker 3: it seems like a fixer upper, because I always equate

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Speaker 3: dating to kind of like looking for investment properties. You're

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Speaker 3: not going to get everything you want in one house,

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Speaker 3: but what has got good bones? What can we work with?

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Speaker 4: I always test for problem solver, whether I'm presenting to

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Speaker 4: you a challenge that I'm having at work, or I

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Speaker 4: need this fixed, or I don't know what I'm going

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Speaker 4: to do about you know this flat sire, or I

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Speaker 4: don't you know, know how to fix his bookshelf? Does

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Speaker 4: he lean in and say I got you, okay, or

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Speaker 4: I'm going to hire someone to do it for you.

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Speaker 4: I prefer him to do it himself. But as long

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Speaker 4: as it gets fixed, handyman is very attractive because that shows,

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Speaker 4: you know, his ability to build. It shows the masculine

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Speaker 4: min or, you know, extreme builders. If he doesn't want

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Speaker 4: to build with me or for me, then he's not

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Speaker 4: going to actually invest.

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Speaker 3: In me later.

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Speaker 4: And so to me if he's like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: I'm so sorry you experienced that, like you know, what

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Speaker 4: are you going to do? But like to me, it's

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Speaker 4: the it's the problem solving mode because I don't want

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Speaker 4: to work that hard. I don't want to live a

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Speaker 4: hard life. I want to live a spicy life.

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Speaker 8: Jessa, what about you?

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Speaker 3: I definitely agree.

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Speaker 5: I agree with that, like somebody who is a problem solver,

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Speaker 5: somebody who is proactive generally, so proactive about getting to

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Speaker 5: know you, proactive about spending time with you. I mean,

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Speaker 5: the thing that makes me crazy is when people and

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Speaker 5: again I'll just go back to this heterodynamic members. You know,

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Speaker 5: like when when women are like doing all they can

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Speaker 5: to try to get this guy to ask them out again.

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, if he's not, if there's not the enthusiasm,

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Speaker 5: if there's not the like actual proactive drive of like, yes,

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Speaker 5: I want to spend time with you, I want to

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Speaker 5: get to know you better. I care about what it

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Speaker 5: is that you care about. Like, those are the things

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Speaker 5: that I think are really great green flags. And I

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Speaker 5: also think that, you know, people who have personal responsibility, right, so,

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Speaker 5: people who take responsibility for their lives, for their choices,

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Speaker 5: like you know. So the opposite of that is somebody

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Speaker 5: who's blaming everybody for everybody else for all their problems.

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Speaker 5: Is their exes terrible, everybody's terrible, everybody's out to get them,

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Speaker 5: you know. The opposite of that somebody who's like not

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Speaker 5: that there isn't lots of nonsense that happens in the world,

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Speaker 5: but they are basically just feel empowered enough, like I

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Speaker 5: actually take responsibility for my actions. Because if you are

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Speaker 5: in a relationship with somebody who does not take responsibility

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Speaker 5: for their actions, you were going to suffer for sure.

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Speaker 5: So I'm really looking for that enthusiasm, that proactivity and

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Speaker 5: just like, Okay, this is a responsible person who actually

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Speaker 5: because if you think about, like, if you're looking for

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Speaker 5: a life partner, do you want to be with somebody

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Speaker 5: who doesn't know how to pay a bill on time

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Speaker 5: or you know, who doesn't know how to like, you know,

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Speaker 5: say I'm sorry. I'd be like, yeah, actually I mess

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Speaker 5: that up. I need to do better. Like it's it's

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Speaker 5: not going to be such a happy relationship. And who

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Speaker 5: cares about you and who's excited about you? Right, because

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Speaker 5: that's the other thing. You don't want somebody to just

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Speaker 5: be with you like all right, well you're.

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Speaker 2: Here, all right, be a fan.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into moment number two of my favorite top

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Speaker 1: moments from Brown Ambition Summer twenty twenty five. It is

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Speaker 1: this interview you with bron Ambition book club pick my

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Speaker 1: very first selection, sky Full of Elephants author Cibo Campbell.

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Speaker 1: The cool thing about this excerpt is that a lot

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Speaker 1: of y'all have probably never heard this before because this

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Speaker 1: episode or this interview only was published in the Patreon

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Speaker 1: for members of the broad Ambition Patreon. Because sky Full

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Speaker 1: of Elephants was my first book club selection, Cibo was

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Speaker 1: so gracious as to not only join me on the

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Speaker 1: podcast this past spring, but to join me again just

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Speaker 1: for the Patreon. So if you were in the patreon,

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Speaker 1: luckily you've already gotten to hear this and tune in.

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Speaker 1: And if you have not joined the patreon yet, I

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Speaker 1: don't know what y'all they're waiting for. You can join

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Speaker 1: for free today. Just go to patreon dot com slash

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Speaker 1: Brown Ambition. There's also a link in my bio. There's

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Speaker 1: all sorts of benefits in the Patreon. The biggest one

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Speaker 1: is that you become a member of the broad Ambition

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Speaker 1: book Club. You also get access to backstage passes to

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Speaker 1: the Virtual Brown Table recordings. We do so occasionally I'll

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Speaker 1: send out a link and say, if you guys want

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Speaker 1: to be in the studio audience, come on down. You

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Speaker 1: get to see how the sausage is made, and you

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Speaker 1: also get exclusive video content before the rest of our

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Speaker 1: audience does, before you can watch it on YouTube with ads.

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Speaker 1: I will often post video episodes of the show in

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Speaker 1: advance on Patreon behind or not behind I guess not

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Speaker 1: behind a paywall.

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Speaker 2: In front of the paywall.

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Speaker 1: If you join one of our paid tiers, you get

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Speaker 1: access to those video episodes in advance before anyone else does.

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Speaker 1: You get to watch them ad free but yeah, you

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Speaker 1: can just join generally as a free member. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to, just go to patreon dot com slash brown

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Speaker 1: Ambition check it out. I do blogs, I do live

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Speaker 1: q and as on the Patreon. I love checking in

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Speaker 1: with bafam and it's a cozy, cute little community. So

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Speaker 1: come on down, okay, And if you decide to join

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Speaker 1: and become a paid member, I love you all the more.

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Speaker 1: That extra little boost helps me continue putting out more

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Speaker 1: and more shows like this.

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Speaker 2: Y'all.

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Speaker 1: Notice I've been doing three episodes a week. Let me

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Speaker 1: tell you that's a lot of work. It's a lot

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Speaker 1: of help that I need, support that I need, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. It's very expensive to create this

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Speaker 1: kind of content and to do it as consistently and

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Speaker 1: at the level of quality that I strive for. So

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Speaker 1: every little bit helps, and y'all, becoming patreons is just

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Speaker 1: it's the greatest gift to me. It's a real vote

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Speaker 1: of confidence and I just love it. And you best

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Speaker 1: believe I am putting every single dime I get back

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Speaker 1: into the show and creating amazing content for y'all, like

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Speaker 1: this interview with Cebo Campbell. So let me get out

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Speaker 1: of my own way, and this snippet of our larger conversation. Again,

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Speaker 1: you can watch the full interview if you join the

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Speaker 1: patreons to go check it out. But Sebo is talking

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Speaker 1: about turning his book into a film. He actually gave

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Speaker 1: me a scoop when he joined me in the book

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Speaker 1: Club Patreon. He let us know that Laurence Fish is

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Speaker 1: gonna produce his movie. He's bought the rights for it.

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Speaker 1: He may even star in it, so it's very exciting.

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Speaker 1: But in this snippet, one of our Patreon BA fan

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Speaker 1: members got to ask him a question about a part

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Speaker 1: of the book that left her wondering what happens to

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Speaker 1: the central female character, Sidney at the end of the book.

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Speaker 1: No spoilers here. Wait, that's a damn lie. This is

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Speaker 1: a actual spoiler. This is an actual, huge spoiler. So

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Speaker 1: if you have not read the book yet, you might

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Speaker 1: want to skip this clip. But for those of you

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Speaker 1: who have, I love this question. I love Sebo's answer.

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Speaker 1: It's very insightful and just interesting the way that he

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Speaker 1: thought about wrapping up and tying up that character story

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Speaker 1: arc within the book. Please enjoy. You know I'm actually

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Speaker 1: gonna let this be a fan member in Tondra, come

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Speaker 1: on in, girl, But you are going to get to

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Speaker 1: ask Cibo a question.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Dondra, So I said so because I.

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Speaker 1: Don't have my at my assistant helping me, and clearly

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Speaker 1: I should have. I accidentally sent the BA Book Club

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Speaker 1: my the link to join as a guest, so you

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Speaker 1: weren't supposed to be able to join as a guest.

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Speaker 1: But since you're here and Tondra was the very first

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Speaker 1: one to r s VP, would you like to say

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Speaker 1: quick hello and then ask you.

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Speaker 2: A question about the book. You gotta unmute yourself. You're

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Speaker 2: so cute I can't hear you.

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Speaker 8: All right, there we go listen. I wasn't ready to

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Speaker 8: be on camera.

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Speaker 2: I was so rude of me.

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Speaker 8: I'm so not ready for that. Hello. How you guys

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Speaker 8: doing nice meeting as well? I know mister hang on

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Speaker 8: just one second, Manny. I don't know if you remember

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Speaker 8: I did.

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Speaker 9: I was one of the people who want to coach

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Speaker 9: and call with you was yeah, and I was one

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Speaker 9: that I wanted to leave my teaching job to try

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Speaker 9: out trading. I was doing invest with Taylor's trading in

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Speaker 9: no classroom.

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Speaker 2: Or in the cossroom.

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Speaker 7: Yes.

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Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, I wasn't ready for a question yet.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's okay.

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Speaker 7: I was not ready.

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Speaker 8: Can I come back, Can I think about something?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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Speaker 8: Actually, I think I do have a question.

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Speaker 9: When when I'm thinking about the daughter, when the daughter

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Speaker 9: in the book, how it all kind of ended. She

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Speaker 9: floated away and she went to the opening to.

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Speaker 8: I just I wasn't clear. I was like, am I

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Speaker 8: I wasn't sure.

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Speaker 9: I wasn't sure if she was still with us or

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Speaker 9: did she leave us? Or what was that in the end?

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Speaker 9: Or is that a book two coming?

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Speaker 10: It's it's a little bit of all of those things.

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Speaker 10: So she's with us. I think, you know, I want

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Speaker 10: it to be up for interpretation. But I've wanted to

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Speaker 10: create a parallel with the beginning of the book and

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Speaker 10: the end of the book. Whereas in the beginning of

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Speaker 10: the book, the first time you meet her character, she's,

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Speaker 10: you know, her family's walking into the lake behind her house,

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Speaker 10: and that scene ends with her floating in the water

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Speaker 10: and she's staring up at the empty sky and she

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Speaker 10: feels completely disconnected from everyone.

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Speaker 8: She's lost her whole family.

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Speaker 10: And at the end of the book, she's floating in

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Speaker 10: the water she's staring up at a sky full of stars,

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Speaker 10: and that is the moment in which Charlie actually hits

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Speaker 10: the machine and she feels connected to Charlie, but it

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Speaker 10: doesn't okay, And so the idea is perhaps she comes

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Speaker 10: back and then she like you know, becomes more integrated

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Speaker 10: in the community and all that. But ultimately, what I

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Speaker 10: arrived to is, I thought, in the course of the

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Speaker 10: time that she meets Charlie, which is really just like

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Speaker 10: a week, like it's not that long from the time

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Speaker 10: that he picks her up in Wisconsin, they go down

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Speaker 10: to Mobile, go to Chicago, go to Mobile, and she

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Speaker 10: learned that what was going on in Range Beach, she

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Speaker 10: learns about her father being put in while he was

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Speaker 10: put in prison, she learns why the event happened. That's

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Speaker 10: a lot for a nineteen year old person to have

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Speaker 10: the process, and so I wanted her to just go

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Speaker 10: off on her own to process that. And I didn't

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Speaker 10: feel like she knew Charlie well enough yet to be

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Speaker 10: comfortable going back to him and being like, help me

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Speaker 10: process these emotions that I have. She had been in

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Speaker 10: solitude for a year in Wisconsin prior to that, so

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Speaker 10: I thought she would want to have her solitude again.

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Speaker 10: But in that solitude she'll find her blackness.

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Speaker 11: I think.

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Speaker 8: Okay, I had one more comment when it was like

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Speaker 8: he was protecting the mom instead of telling the daughter.

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Speaker 4: Why.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, I just feel like a lot of time as

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Speaker 9: an African American, as a black person, we're oftentimes trying

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Speaker 9: to take care of everybody else's feelings besides our own.

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Speaker 9: When it comes to things we protect, we're so busy

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Speaker 9: and like we'll take the blame for something that's not

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Speaker 9: even ours to protect someone who didn't think about protecting us.

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Speaker 12: M you know.

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Speaker 8: Why, why where is that coming?

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Speaker 5: I mean, I mean is that I guess it's global

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Speaker 5: that feels we feel global about that.

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Speaker 1: Definitely someone who sent your ass to prison for a

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Speaker 1: heinous crime he did not have.

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Speaker 10: In my mind, it's just true to our nature.

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Speaker 6: You just said it.

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Speaker 10: You said we all feel this way. We all feel

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Speaker 10: like we need to be protective. And so Charlie, naturally,

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Speaker 10: I think, feels that same way, protective of the mother,

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Speaker 10: but also protective of who he is in relationship to her.

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Speaker 10: Remember he's and I think this is true. A lot

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Speaker 10: of black men, they find validity in whiteness, right, They

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Speaker 10: find that they are made of a person of value

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Speaker 10: by being accepted by whiteness and being condemned by whiteness

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Speaker 10: creates the opposite effect when you feel like someone you

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Speaker 10: don't have value, and it's and I think he needed

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Speaker 10: to overcome that in order to make himself feel like

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Speaker 10: he was worthy, to have to be in a position

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Speaker 10: of being a father, worthy of being in a position

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Speaker 10: to be a contributor of society, all those things. I'm

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Speaker 10: actively right now, Tandra. I'm working on the film for this.

436
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 10: And when you're transitioning from novel to film, there's just

437
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 10: the medium requires it of you to try to create narrative.

438
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,479
Speaker 10: Without you don't have the paper, you can't write it,

439
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 10: so you have to like create it with imagery, create

440
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 10: it with these sort of moments of communication between two characters,

441
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 10: and that dynamic of understanding why Charlie is making the

442
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 10: decision to not tell his daughter. It translates so profoundly

443
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 10: on film because you can see the pain, you know,

444
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 10: you can see the thing that he's a formally incarcerated

445
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 10: person and he's like, I don't want to have a

446
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 10: chance to be clean. Now my daughter doesn't know these

447
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 10: things about me, But the moment that I tell her,

448
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 10: I'm back to being Charlie in prison again, and I

449
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 10: don't want to be that, and so all for all

450
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 10: those reasons, it's almost like he's protecting a very vulnerable

451
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 10: version of himself, which I think is what we do

452
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 10: is in order to kind of make ourselves feel like

453
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 10: we are people of value, we will lay down at

454
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 10: the feet of other people to be in support of them,

455
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 10: because there's a reciprocal hope for reciprocal effect.

456
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 1: At least, Hey, ba fam, We're going to take a

457
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: quick break, pay some bills, and we'll be right back. Okay,

458
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: we're coming into clip number three. Top moment of Summer

459
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. I got to give it to my girl,

460
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: Menda Hearts. Menda Hearts is a prolific writer. Her book

461
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: The Memo became every Black Girl's career guide back in

462
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: I think it was published in like what twenty nineteen,

463
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, something like that, not that long ago. Since then,

464
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: Menda has gone unto publish at least four different career

465
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: strategy books, including her most recent one, which is Talk

466
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: to Me Nice. This book is different. This book Talked

467
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: to Me Nice really talks about about how we as

468
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: employees can engage differently with our employers to help us

469
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: cope with what can y'all know become a toxic work environment.

470
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 1: And what I like about this interview is we talk

471
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: about particularly what companies can do, like the people who

472
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: actually have power can do, to make it a less

473
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: hostile work environment for women of color. Minda is my girl.

474
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: Please go follow her everywhere and grab her book. Talk

475
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: to me nice. I love the work that she's doing.

476
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: She's also turned the memo into a short film. She's

477
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 1: on her second or third short film now. So this

478
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: woman knows no labels, no boundaries, no bounds. She is

479
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,959
Speaker 1: someone who has a creative idea and then executes it

480
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,679
Speaker 1: and I just love her. Also, I founally got to

481
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: meet her last summer, and she has such a tiny

482
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 1: pocket rocket. I feel like the most powerful women come

483
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: in these like these little CUTI pu twity packages. I mean,

484
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to take away her batty status. She

485
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: definitely is a baddie, but the nuggets I get to meet,

486
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 1: the powerful little nuggets. I'm talking about Menda, I'm talking

487
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: about Morga Debonds, zarn A garg I swear these people

488
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 1: are just little pocket rockets. I don't know what to

489
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: say about that. I just feel like, if you're under

490
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: five to five, are you just all baddies? Are y'all

491
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: just out here doing the damn thing? There's something, there's

492
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: something our short queens have and I just appreciate it.

493
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: Enjoy this clip with Menda Hearts again. The name of

494
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 1: her book is talk to Me Nice. If y'all don't

495
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 1: have the memo, I don't, I don't know what's wrong

496
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: with you, please.

497
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 2: Go get it.

498
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 1: But this is you're coming out with your fourth book

499
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: this summer, Yes, and this one is very this one's

500
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: quite different. So if your new book is called talk

501
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 1: to Me Nice, talk to me Nice. The seven trust

502
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 1: language is for a better workplace. So this isn't so

503
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 1: much targeting to like, well, you tell me, but it

504
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like it's targeting like the worker. It's more

505
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: like the institution, like how can we actually as companies

506
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: as workplaces, figure out how to better communicate with our

507
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: staff our employees, but also like how we as the

508
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: worker bees can communicate better with leadership? Right?

509
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 12: Yes, yes, And it's are you a leader and you've

510
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 12: somehow we wrote a trust maybe not intentionally, but it's

511
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 12: happened and there's a communication breakdown. How do you get

512
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,239
Speaker 12: that back with your staff? But also if you're an

513
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 12: employee and you can't get what you need, how do

514
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 12: you ask for it without losing your job? Right, So

515
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 12: it's giving both parties the language they need to be

516
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 12: able to communicate better and close that expectation gap.

517
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: So why this book, Now.

518
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 12: That's a great question, to be honest, I really didn't

519
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 12: think I was going to write any more books. Manby

520
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 12: the memo right within and you were more than Magic

521
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 12: are three of my babies, and they were focused and

522
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 12: centered around black and brown women and young women in

523
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 12: the workplace or in their journeys to finding their voice.

524
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 12: And I thought, you know what, I cracked the door

525
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 12: open for others to write their books.

526
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 6: And I felt like I did my big one with

527
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 6: these books.

528
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 12: And I just didn't feel like I needed to add

529
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 12: any more to the conversation that I wanted others to

530
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 12: take the baton and do that. And then two years

531
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 12: ago I woke up at like three o'clock in the

532
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 12: morning to use the bathroom. Right, I'm getting older, so

533
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 12: I you know, I can't sometimes sleep through the night.

534
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 2: You know, you know, we know.

535
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 6: So I got up.

536
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 12: And I thought, and I had this like voice in

537
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 12: my head saying, what if there were love languages for

538
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 12: the workplace, what about the trust trust languages? And I

539
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 12: just kind of wrote that in my notes and kind

540
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 12: of set it to the side, and then I kept

541
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 12: thinking about it and coming back to it. I'm like, yeah,

542
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 12: you know, we expect trust in our romantic relationships, our

543
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 12: platonic relationships. Why wouldn't we expect that in a place

544
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 12: that will spend ninety thousand hours of our life at

545
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 12: the workplace?

546
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: Is that real?

547
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 6: That? And so it's like, why wouldn't we want trust

548
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 6: there too?

549
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 12: And so I just started kind of mulling over it,

550
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 12: and I'm like, well, maybe maybe I have one more

551
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 12: book in me. And I call this my crossover album,

552
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 12: because of course I still talk about some of the

553
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 12: voices that aren't heard inside the workplace and how trust

554
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 12: is being roded. But trust is a universal issue, a

555
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 12: global issue, and so I wanted to be able to

556
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 12: tackle that a little bit differently in this book.

557
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, it's been five years since the summer of

558
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, I was in Corporate America, at the time,

559
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: I think, like so many other workers, you get the

560
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 1: emails from your CEO about how heartbroken they are, but

561
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: what's happening in this country and you have these new commitments.

562
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: Everyone's got a die director. You know, they've got their

563
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: their statements on what's happening in the racial awakening and

564
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: racial reckoning that we're going through, and they all make

565
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: these big lofty promise and blah blah blah blah blah.

566
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,239
Speaker 1: Five years later, I know you couldn't have planned it,

567
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: but the trust is broken in so many ways because

568
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: we're just seeing this, like I mean, this complete about

569
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: face in the other direction. Of course now with our

570
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: new leadership and power, So I feel like this book

571
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: is extremely timely. I'm just I'm wondering, like your perspective

572
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 1: as a black woman or for black women who working

573
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: in corporate today, like is there any going back? Like

574
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: can we are we actually capable of trusting organizations again?

575
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: Because there's so much cynicism, rightfully so about the lip

576
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: service that leader pay to our community only to then

577
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: turn around when it better suits them and go back

578
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: on what they say, what their promises are.

579
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 2: Is that trust rebuildable?

580
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 6: Yeah? You know, what, Mandy.

581
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 12: I think the answer is yes, And that kind of

582
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 12: is the thesis of talk to me nice. Is if

583
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 12: trust can be built, it can be broken, and if

584
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 12: it can be broken, it.

585
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 6: Can be rebuilt.

586
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 2: Right.

587
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 12: But it takes an intentionality to be able to do that.

588
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 12: And I think part of it is we just don't

589
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 12: know how to ask for it. Because if you're my

590
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 12: manager and you said all these wonderful things about how

591
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 12: I am important in the workplace and this is inclusive,

592
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 12: and then now you're saying something different and demonstrating something different,

593
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 12: I don't know how to come to you and ask you, like, hey,

594
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 12: what's going on? You know, can we have a conversation?

595
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,239
Speaker 12: You know, six months ago this was important and now

596
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 12: it seems like it's not. That might ruffle some feathers, right,

597
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 12: and I can't go to you and say, you know,

598
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,239
Speaker 12: I don't trust you anymore. You know, it's just not

599
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 12: going to pan out well. But I think that through

600
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,479
Speaker 12: the language of the trust languages to say, you know what,

601
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 12: I would love to talk about what a little more

602
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 12: transparency looks like. I noticed that this was a priority

603
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 12: for the company, and I just want to understand that,

604
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 12: you know, going forward, what does it look like?

605
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 6: Right? Can we have a conversation like that?

606
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: Right?

607
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 12: Built on transparency, and transparency is one of the trust

608
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 12: languages in my book. But transparency isn't about telling everything,

609
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 12: giving all the information. Transparency is also saying I don't

610
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 12: have all the answers right now, but as things arise,

611
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,719
Speaker 12: as you feel a concern, feel comfortable enough to approach

612
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 12: me with questions, and if I have the answers, I'll

613
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 12: provide them, and if I don't have them, I'll tell

614
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 12: you that. Right. That would make me feel so much

615
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 12: better as a black woman or anybody who feels like

616
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 12: they're on the margins to say, Okay, maybe I could

617
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 12: trust a little bit versus let's just sweep everything under

618
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 12: the rug and there's nothing to see here.

619
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, trust is a process, and usually we

620
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: learn about the love languages, right. And I'm in a

621
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: I've been married for eight years now and together with

622
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: my partner for a lot of years, an embarrassing number.

623
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, it feels crazy. I'm like, I don't

624
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: understand how I have an eight year marriage. Aren't they

625
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: twenty four? I think doesn't make any sense. But love languages,

626
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: I think they are like they're very and even gen

627
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: Z talks about love languages and all that, what do

628
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: you think, like, are the seven workplace love languages? Are

629
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: they similar? Are they different? I mean there's seven of

630
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: them versus like, however many four or five?

631
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do they mirror the love languages?

632
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: Like? Can you tell us a little bit about them

633
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: without giving everything away in the book, because y'all got to.

634
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 6: Go get it, Yes, please get it.

635
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: Tell me about the seven trust languages.

636
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 12: Okay, So for me and the five love languages, one

637
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 12: of my languages is words of affirmation, right, and so

638
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 12: one of the trust languages is acknowledgment because I think

639
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 12: oftentimes what I found is people would come to me

640
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 12: after a talk or in my DMS and they would say, minda,

641
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 12: I don't trust my manager, I don't trust HR, or

642
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,719
Speaker 12: I don't trust my colleagues, like you know, they're backstabbish.

643
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 6: All the things.

644
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 12: And when I found is what people were really saying

645
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 12: is what they weren't saying. Maybe they don't trust their

646
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 12: manager or their colleagues, and that might be true, but

647
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 12: what they were really saying is that a need that

648
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 12: they have is not being met because that person isn't

649
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 12: aware that you even need it, right, So, for example,

650
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 12: I would say, well, what you're really saying is you

651
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 12: need more acknowledgment if you were acknowledged for some of

652
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 12: the work that you're doing, these projects that you keep.

653
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 12: You know, you've been traveling for twelve months out of

654
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 12: the year and nobody has said anything. Now they're sending

655
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 12: you on another assignment. You just need some acknowledgement. If

656
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 12: you had a little more acknowledgment, would that provide a

657
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 12: little more trust for you? And then we started to

658
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 12: unpack what's actually underneath the trust. And if you know

659
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 12: that acknowledgment is important to you, how do you ask

660
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 12: your manager or your colleague for it? Right in a

661
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 12: way that they could probably give that to you, because

662
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 12: nobody's going around the workplace with a crystal ball saying,

663
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 12: what does Mandy need for me to show trust?

664
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 5: Right?

665
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: But if I liked a couple therapy.

666
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 6: If I know that, then I couldn't know.

667
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: My coffee order. But and wait, no, wrong topic, right.

668
00:31:59,120 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 6: Wrong topic?

669
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 12: But I think we do act like that, right, Well,

670
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 12: you should know I've been working here for ten years.

671
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 12: You don't know that I need to be acknowledged well,

672
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 12: you know, I have to manage like a fifty other

673
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 12: people and one hundred other things. So no, I don't

674
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 12: know that. But now if you tell me that, and

675
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 12: now I know that that's what you need, then maybe

676
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 12: I can provide that.

677
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 8: Right.

678
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 12: And so we're closing this expectation of trust. And I

679
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 12: feel like through the seven trust language, so acknowledgment is one,

680
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 12: transparency is another. Sensitivity. I feel like sensitivity right now

681
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 12: in our workplaces is so important because we are talking

682
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 12: about certain things that are a little more taboo that

683
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 12: we thought we could talk about even last year, that

684
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 12: we're not able to bring up now, you know. And

685
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 12: so what would it look like even if I sit

686
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 12: on one side of the aisle?

687
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 6: I think about, you know what if I say this

688
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 6: thing to a.

689
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 12: Group of people who I know they feel differently about

690
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 12: my political choices, is that going to e road trust

691
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 12: or enhance trust? So I'm going to practice the language

692
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 12: of sensitivity to say, you know what, this isn't the

693
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 12: time for me to wear my red hat to the function, right,

694
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 12: you know, so be cause that's going to e road

695
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 12: trust and vice versa. So I think if we're just

696
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 12: a little more in tune and self aware about what

697
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 12: people need to do their best work. Then we can

698
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 12: have an environment where everybody can thrive and not just survive.

699
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to interrupt.

700
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: The love language is we've got sensitivity, transparency, I hope

701
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: you have them written down. Transparent, appreciation, no acknowledgment, acknowledgment.

702
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 6: So you got three there.

703
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 12: Another one is security, and that's emotional, intellectual, and physical right.

704
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 12: So it's not just psychological safety, but what about your

705
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 12: intellectual property. When you're in a meeting and you say

706
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 12: the big idea and then somebody takes it as their

707
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 12: own right, you want to know that you could voice

708
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 12: your concerns and not worry about somebody running off and

709
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 12: saying that it's their own.

710
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 6: Another language is feedback. Right.

711
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 12: Oftentimes you might not trust somebody, but what is it

712
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 12: that you really need? Is it that you need more feedback?

713
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 2: Right?

714
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 12: And feedback could provide a little more trust in that relationship.

715
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 12: Another one follow through. Is it that you don't trust

716
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 12: hr or do you need to follow through? When you

717
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 12: make a concern and then there's a conversation that's being had.

718
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 12: I provide the information, they respond after they've had time

719
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 12: to process it and now we find a solution, we

720
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 12: need a feedback loop. And then lastly is demonstration, and that's,

721
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 12: you know, the action. So for example, you mentioned DEI

722
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 12: being like a big topic of conversation. So many companies

723
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 12: were like down for the cause, ten tones down, and

724
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 12: now all of a sudden they're like that Simpson meme

725
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 12: where Homer's like moving back from the from the bushes

726
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 12: and nobody wants to talk about it. But demonstration is saying, okay,

727
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 12: even though we know that politically we might not be

728
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 12: able to say these things right now, we're demonstrating that

729
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 12: inclusion is still important here. You don't have to be

730
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 12: a woman or LGBTQ or a person of color and

731
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 12: worry because we're still committed to the things because we're

732
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 12: demonstrating that each and every day, right and so again,

733
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 12: demonstration is the action. So when I think about trust,

734
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 12: it's a noun, an averb, and it's very important for

735
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 12: us to be activating that each and every day. Trust

736
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 12: is in a one time event, it's a culture, it's

737
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 12: a lifestyle inside the workplace.

738
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm digesting everything you said, and I'm wondering, could we

739
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 1: add an eighth love language, and could it be money.

740
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 2: Could it be like pay me nice?

741
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 6: That's that acknowledgement, right, That's that's the acknowledgment.

742
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 1: Okay, I think a lot of people are feeling like, well,

743
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: I would love to be like given feedback and all that,

744
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: but I'd also like to be paid well, So that's

745
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: under the acknowledgement umbrella.

746
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 2: Okay, good, just making sure.

747
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 12: Well, listen, money is a love is my love language,

748
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 12: my trust language, all the all the.

749
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 2: Languages money talks.

750
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: You know, Like, one of the things about this type

751
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: of book is I feel like it's incredible and it's

752
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: such a great tool, but it can be challenging if

753
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 1: both people on the sides of a conversation don't have

754
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: the same framework to work from. So what advice would

755
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: you have for someone who's who's reading your book And

756
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: let's just say they are, you know, they are having

757
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 1: issues with higher ups or hr whoever, and they're wanting

758
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: to come to the table and have a conversation using

759
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: one of these trust languages, but they are getting resistance

760
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: on the other side because that person is not as

761
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: committed to having like a productive conversation. How do you

762
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: get this book in the hands of like all the

763
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: managers and the senior level people, so that when we

764
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: I'm putting myself in the in the shoes of an employee,

765
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: come to them like they are prepared to have that

766
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: kind of conversation.

767
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, that's a great question.

768
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,479
Speaker 12: And one of the things I was so intentional about

769
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 12: with this book is providing tons of scripts so that

770
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 12: the employee, even if the person on the other end

771
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 12: doesn't even know what you're talking about, because you're probably

772
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 12: not gonna say, hey, my trust language, Bob is acknowledgment

773
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 12: and sensitivity, because they're not going to know probably what

774
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 12: you mean. But I have a framework in language that

775
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 12: you could use to say, you know what, I've been

776
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 12: on this project for the last several months. What really

777
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 12: helps me do my best work is when you provide

778
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 12: me a little more feed Is that something we can

779
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 12: partner on right now? That signals to that person They

780
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 12: don't have to know what any of this means, but

781
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 12: they do know what feedback looks like, right, And then

782
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,240
Speaker 12: we get to provide examples of after I finish a sprint,

783
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 12: it would be great to know did I hit expectations,

784
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 12: did I meet them, did I succeed them? Whatever that

785
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 12: might look like to you. And then this provides us

786
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 12: a framework because now we can stop creating a narrative

787
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,959
Speaker 12: in our mind that may or may not be true

788
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 12: about if this person is invested in our success or not.

789
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 12: They might not just be thinking about that you need that, right. So,

790
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 12: now that I've positioned myself to actually have a conversation

791
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 12: that they're aware of, now we could sit back and say, Okay,

792
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 12: now I'll know if I could trust them or not

793
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 12: if they're starting to provide me that feedback. And so

794
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 12: my hope is that managers will get this book and

795
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 12: read it, and even if their employees don't understand what

796
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 12: trust languages are, you ask them what does trust look

797
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 12: like for you on the team? Right, because I want

798
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 12: to provide that for you it's less about trust issues

799
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 12: and more of a communication solve, right, Because we don't

800
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 12: know how to talk to each other and people are

801
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 12: fearful to bring certain things up. So I'm hopeful that

802
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 12: talk to me nice will create the necessary conversations to

803
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 12: be able to talk about trust that in a way

804
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 12: that it doesn't have to be scary, right, because I

805
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 12: think sometimes when we put it on the table that

806
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 12: trust might be broken.

807
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 6: People don't want to.

808
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 12: Accept that because that can look kind of negative or

809
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 12: sound kind of negative. But when we talk about what

810
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 12: do we need to communicate better here and what do

811
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 12: we need to make sure that everybody gets what they

812
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 12: need to do their best work, I feel like it's framing.

813
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 12: I don't know if you. I'm sure your listeners have

814
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 12: heard it's not what you say about how you say it.

815
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 12: So if we package it up in a way that

816
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 12: can kind of manage up to our leaders, then I

817
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 12: feel like it's a it's a possibility, and we got

818
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 12: to give it a shot. Like if people know what

819
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 12: you need, then maybe they can provide it. But if

820
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 12: we never say it, you know, closed mouths don't.

821
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 3: Get fed, right.

822
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,439
Speaker 1: And I love that you have those scripts in there. Yeah,

823
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: especially at a time when it feels like people are running.

824
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 1: My cousin, she's twenty six, twenty seven. She's like, I

825
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 1: am using chatchepeach to help me figure out what to

826
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: say back to this person I'm texting. It's like a

827
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: challenging her roommate or whatever. It's a challenging conversation. But

828
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: we need human we need that, we need the mendas.

829
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: And it's like if y'all have an opportunity to get

830
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: someone who has been giving professional workplace advice for How

831
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: long have you been in this business?

832
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 6: Twenty fifteen? Oh my god, you know since I was

833
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 6: five years old.

834
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: I think, yes, you were a child prodigy. That's right,

835
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: because you're fifteen.

836
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: You've been doing it for so long, and I just

837
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 1: love I think that this is the access to, you know,

838
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: someone like you. It's how we get our message out there.

839
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 1: It's how we give advice without actually being able to

840
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: touch every single person. I mean, I want to talk

841
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: a little bit about repairing broken trust and who is

842
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,760
Speaker 1: responsible for that. I guess it's a two part question,

843
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: which I know everyone loves, especially me who can never

844
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: remember anything. But I'm thinking about how do we repair

845
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: broken trust in the workplace? And then also the second

846
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: part of that is like who's responsible? Like who really

847
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: carries the responsibility of repairing that kind of trust? How

848
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: do we make companies care about breaking our trust? You know?

849
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 6: Yeah?

850
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 12: Well, I'll say this trust isn't just nice to have,

851
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,240
Speaker 12: but it's good for business. There are tons of data

852
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 12: that's from Edelman's Trust Barometer to Gallop poll and they

853
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 12: say that when trust is present employees are twenty one

854
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 12: percent more productive, fifty percent more of your employees are retained,

855
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,799
Speaker 12: and forty percent less burnout. So it's not just oh, kumbayah,

856
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 12: we trust each other, you know, let's do a trust fall.

857
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 12: It's more than that. It's actually good for the bottom line.

858
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 12: So trust is good, you know, for everybody. So that

859
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 12: should be part of our pillars and our values because

860
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 12: that's going to benefit us in the long run. So

861
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 12: for those people who are like, oh, we don't need trust, no,

862
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 12: you absolutely do.

863
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 2: Like I'm paying you, So what are we even hear

864
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 2: to do? Like, just do your job.

865
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 1: I don't have to say it in the way that's

866
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 1: your This is giving, like very I feel like this

867
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,800
Speaker 1: is going to be like catnip for all right. Media

868
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 1: personalities who just love a snowflake moment, like, listen to

869
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: this book. They want us to learn their love, their

870
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: trust languages. Just do your job, like we know that

871
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: to me is what's coming up.

872
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 6: And it will and people will say, well, why do

873
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 6: I need to do all that? Right? But the reality

874
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 6: is when.

875
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 12: Trust is broken, we can't do our best work. And

876
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 12: when trust is broken, our mental health hangs in the balance. Right,

877
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 12: and we're anxious and we're fearful, and again we don't

878
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 12: feel secure in our roles and we're going to leave.

879
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: Right.

880
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,720
Speaker 12: Fifty percent of people leave their workplaces because of their manager.

881
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 6: So think about that.

882
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 12: If our managers were equipped with the tools they need

883
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 12: to be successful, then that helps them be the coach

884
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 12: that their team needs them to be. And so trust

885
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 12: is a two way street, right. Just like any of

886
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 12: the main love languages that Gary Chapman put out into

887
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 12: the world, nobody can give me words of affirmation if

888
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 12: I don't articulate that that's what I need.

889
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 2: Right.

890
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 12: So with the workplace trust languages, your manager may need

891
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 12: help knowing what you need because they're just not thinking

892
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 12: about you day to day in that way and that

893
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 12: you know, that's another issue you. But if I empower

894
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 12: myself and take it back and let them know what

895
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 12: good looks like to me, I have a primary language,

896
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 12: I have a secondary language, and I have a tertiary language. Now,

897
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 12: you don't always have to use that particular language till

898
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 12: they understand what you're talking about. But if you can

899
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 12: get under the hood and say, oh, actually these are

900
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 12: the things that I need, that's empowering, right, and you

901
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 12: take back the narrative of I work in a low

902
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 12: trust or a high trust environment. So I would love

903
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 12: to say that our managers are responsible. HR is responsible

904
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:35,439
Speaker 12: and as a individual contributor and some degree we are responsible.

905
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 6: For how our careers move forward.

906
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 12: And I want to see us make trust great again

907
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 12: because we all need it. If you live in Tokyo,

908
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 12: you want trust. If you live in North Dakota, you

909
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 12: want trust right. And so that is something that we

910
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 12: all understand. You may not understand what it's like to

911
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 12: be a black woman in the workplace, but you sure

912
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 12: know what it feels like when trust is on the floor, right,

913
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 12: And that's something we can all link arms with. And

914
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 12: when we can talk about a universal word like trust,

915
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 12: then we can solve for some of the other issues

916
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 12: that I think people weren't ready to solve for.

917
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I do a lot of work with

918
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,399
Speaker 1: women of color, like through my career coaching practice, and

919
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: there's many many who I can think about who come

920
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: to me and they are just so burnt out, not

921
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: by like over being overworked, but by having consistent and persistent,

922
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: like chronic underappreciation from their workplace from you know, being

923
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: sort of like kicked around, like moved around, whether it's

924
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: like you're moving managers too frequently, there's not a lot

925
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 1: of investment, and they aren't even sure sometimes why they're

926
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: unhappy at work. They're just like, I am miserable.

927
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 2: I need to get out of here.

928
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: And what I like about the concept of this book

929
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: is not that I'm ever here to stop anyone from

930
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: pursuing a new goal. I do a lot of like

931
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: I do a lot of telling girls to quit. I

932
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: love it.

933
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 2: Sometimes you just have.

934
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,240
Speaker 1: To get out of there, yes, but in this economy

935
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 1: you can't always just quit and go on to the

936
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: next thing right away. This is almost like it's a

937
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 1: toolkit to say this can make it maybe more tolerable

938
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: for you. It empowers us to take some action that

939
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: can actually make things a little better for us potentially.

940
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 1: And I just hope that, like if you're listening to

941
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 1: this podcast, ba Fam, I hope that it doesn't feel

942
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 1: like one more thing that we have to do, we

943
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: have to carry because managers aren't trained and companies don't

944
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: care about us. We got to care about ourselves. But

945
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: like feel that empowerment that we can actually get more

946
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: of what we need because we have the language that

947
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: you know, a book like talk to me nice is

948
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 1: providing us.

949
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,879
Speaker 12: Yeah, thank you Amandy for saying that, because I don't

950
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 12: want us to feel the burden to have to do

951
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 12: one more thing, but I wanted the one more thing

952
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 12: to feel like we're empowered.

953
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 6: Right.

954
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 12: So, if we are in an environment where we're not

955
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 12: able to leave right now, we haven't had certain conversations,

956
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 12: what would it look like to give ourself permission to

957
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 12: have it?

958
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 6: Right?

959
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 12: So now we can say, Okay, maybe Gina is an

960
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 12: vested in my success. Maybe she isn't, But now that

961
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 12: I've told her here's what I need to do my

962
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 12: best work, perhaps they can now provide that to us. Right.

963
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 12: And I don't think anybody shows up in the workplace

964
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 12: to say, how can I row trust with so and so?

965
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 6: Today? I don't feel like we're that delicious.

966
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: You know, like synetic psychotic.

967
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,399
Speaker 12: I mean, there might be one or two that think

968
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 12: that way, but for the most part, I think we

969
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 12: just are moving at ninety thousand miles per hour. We're

970
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 12: not thinking and considering people. And what this boils down

971
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 12: to is how do we restore respect, humanity and dignity

972
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 12: inside the workplace, right, even when we have to have

973
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 12: difficult conversations, and I just think oftentimes we just don't

974
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 12: have the language. And so I'm hopeful that talk to

975
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 12: me nice will provide language for the employee and the

976
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 12: manager to be able to talk to each other without

977
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 12: their let's avoid each.

978
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 6: Other in the hallway when we see each other or

979
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 6: on zoom. So that is my gift to the world.

980
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 12: The hopefully we can talk to each other a little

981
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 12: bit nice when we know what words need to be said,

982
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 12: or at least start to have them those conversations.

983
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: Hey, ba fam, we got to take a quick break,

984
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: pay some bills, and we'll be right back. All right,

985
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 1: ba fam, We're back. Speaking of pocket rocket batties, y'all.

986
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: Clip number four comes from my interview with the one

987
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: and only Zarnagarg. Zarnagarg is just the Oh. I don't

988
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: know how to describe this woman. I feel very fortunate

989
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: to have gotten to have a conversation with her.

990
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 2: Her book was.

991
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,399
Speaker 1: If I had had the book club when I read

992
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: Zarna's book, she would have been my first pick, hands down, incredible,

993
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,720
Speaker 1: incredible memoir. Her memoir is called This American Woman. Listen

994
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: to it and then go buy the physical copy. I

995
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: say it's worth it because there's extra content in both.

996
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 1: But the best thing about the audible version of her

997
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: book or wherever you get your audiobooks, Libby is amazing

998
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 1: that she reads it herself, and her story is just

999
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: so so.

1000
00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 2: Emotional, so intense.

1001
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 1: I mean, it's inspirational what she had to overcome and

1002
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 1: the humor with which she did it. The fact that

1003
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: she didn't even have a comedy career up until like

1004
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: seven years ago, Like if that I mean six seven

1005
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: years ago. This woman was a stay at home mom

1006
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 1: raising three kids in Manhattan and having failed that multiple

1007
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: businesses before she even thought about launching a comedy career.

1008
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: And now she has a Hulu special, she's selling out

1009
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 1: shows around the world, she's got Kevin Hart on speed dial,

1010
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 1: and amidst all of that, she sat down with me

1011
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 1: to talk about her memoir, This American Woman, and just

1012
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: delight us all. So why not have one of my

1013
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: favorite moments from the show as one of my top

1014
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 1: moments of Summer twenty twenty five. I had to do it.

1015
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: It had to be done. Please enjoy. I mean, can

1016
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: we just go back in time a little bit, because

1017
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: as you're talking about that sort of not seeing yourself

1018
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 1: as fulfilling the life goal for your husband and finding

1019
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: your own purpose. I mean that was so innate in

1020
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: you from a young age. I mean you were a

1021
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 1: teenager when you're a husband, you write about this in

1022
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 1: the book. Not your husband, sorry, your your father after

1023
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: your mother passed away, was pretty much ready to throw

1024
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 1: you away and say I'm going to marry you off.

1025
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:13,240
Speaker 2: You're a teenager.

1026
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 1: You're thirteen fourteen at this age, which is not uncommon

1027
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: right in India even today, And you, as a teenager

1028
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 1: said I would rather live on the streets, bouncing from

1029
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: home to home, friends homes, friends of friends' homes, and

1030
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 1: to sign up for security, to sign up for this

1031
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 1: arranged marriage. And I mean, oh, I just as a mom,

1032
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: I'm just like protect the babies. And you were just

1033
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 1: a baby. But you did that. That's so I don't

1034
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 1: know what to even say about that, just to.

1035
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 13: Be completely fair and honest, Like I didn't know I

1036
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 13: was signing up for that. I did when you were

1037
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 13: a teenager, and you were like, are defying your parents,

1038
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 13: and you're like, all right, if you don't want me

1039
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 13: to live your I live with my friends in your innocence,

1040
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 13: you really believe that's an option, you know what I mean,

1041
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 13: Like because you've done sleepovers that went for a weekend

1042
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 13: and no one sent you home, So you've traveled. Maybe

1043
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 13: I at that point had traveled with my friend's families

1044
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 13: to like nearby vacation spots.

1045
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 7: I was like, yeah, well, you know what, you don't

1046
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 7: want me here?

1047
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 13: So nice, they feed me, they let me do all

1048
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 13: these things you don't let me do, Like I'll just

1049
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 13: go there. When I walked out of my house, I

1050
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,840
Speaker 13: really didn't think it would become what it became. And

1051
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 13: I really thought that my dad was consumed by grief

1052
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 13: and that in a matter of a day or two

1053
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 13: or three he will come around and then we will.

1054
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 7: Find a new happy medium.

1055
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 13: He was not playing, and I learned that the hard

1056
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 13: way that and that is true of many, many, many,

1057
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 13: many men of color. I think they like stake their

1058
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 13: pride and dignity on everything, especially back home, and and

1059
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:54,240
Speaker 13: my dad was not having it. And also like women

1060
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 13: were throwing themselves on him left, right and center.

1061
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 7: So he had so much temptation. I know that now

1062
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 7: in hindsight.

1063
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 13: Like he had young women like women twenty years younger

1064
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:06,760
Speaker 13: than him, being.

1065
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 7: Like, do you need anything? Do you need it? It

1066
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 7: was a lot of like what can we do to

1067
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:13,359
Speaker 7: help you.

1068
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: With the Indian version of making a cast role and

1069
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:16,240
Speaker 1: bringing it over.

1070
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 13: Making samosas, making you know, like it was wild. And

1071
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 13: that's another thing that I've learned, you know, because I

1072
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 13: saw it firsthand in my life. That men will go on.

1073
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 13: I've seen it enough to know that their lives will

1074
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 13: go on. It's the women. I read a statistic somewhere

1075
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 13: a long time ago, and I don't even know where

1076
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 13: I read it because and if I'm wrong, somebody can

1077
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 13: feel free to correct me. But I read a statistic

1078
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 13: somewhere that said that the face of poverty in America

1079
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 13: is motherhood. That women who are single moms, who are

1080
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 13: moms in general, become a much more prone to living

1081
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 13: in poverty than any other demographic. That's his statistics that

1082
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 13: scared me. That is another reason why I was like,

1083
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 13: I've got to figure something out something anything. I was like,

1084
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 13: I will become the world's best dental hygienis. If somebody

1085
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 13: good gives me a job, I will take such good

1086
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 13: care of them. If they can give me some financial security.

1087
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 13: This was during the days when nothing entrepreneurial was working.

1088
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 13: I was like, what else can I do? Like can

1089
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 13: I become a receptionist somewhere where they will like pay me?

1090
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 13: And you know, all these things. So but knowing that

1091
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 13: that the outcome for women and I have three kids, like,

1092
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,320
Speaker 13: you know, they're gonna need stuff. My daughter's graduate in college,

1093
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 13: she still needs stuff. It doesn't end, you know.

1094
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 1: And also in New York, the money will dry up.

1095
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 7: Oh my god.

1096
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 13: When my husband lost his job, he had been a

1097
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 13: cio for ten years.

1098
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 7: We had savings. People will ask me, did you not

1099
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 7: have savings? We had savings. We thought we were set,

1100
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,720
Speaker 7: and it went like a damn.

1101
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 13: It felt like with the decision, it felt like we

1102
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 13: found out on Monday that he doesn't have a job,

1103
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 13: and two Mondays from then.

1104
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 7: It was all gone. It felt like that, like my god,

1105
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 7: we had it. Oh my god.

1106
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 13: And then when things are not gonna work, nothing works,

1107
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 13: Like we couldn't sell the apartment because the market crashed.

1108
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 7: Every turn that we tried to consider was like this

1109
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 7: can't work. That can't work, that can't work, this won't work.

1110
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 7: So you really have to prepare.

1111
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 13: That's another reason why I work as much as I

1112
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 13: do now, I feel like I have to catch up

1113
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 13: for all the years that I couldn't do the things

1114
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 13: that I didn't work for whatever reason. And I don't

1115
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 13: have time to waste, you know. And I advise a

1116
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 13: lot of women on thinking big. Once you're playing the game,

1117
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 13: you got to think big because women are trained to

1118
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 13: think savings.

1119
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 7: We think, oh, if I save money, you know, if

1120
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 7: I don't spend it.

1121
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 13: I don't think there's any glory in saving. You cannot

1122
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 13: save yourself out of financial mess.

1123
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 2: You have to think, Sarna.

1124
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 1: You have to You're not medical financial genius.

1125
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Yes?

1126
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 13: Continue, At least I'm closer to math than I was

1127
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 13: as a writer.

1128
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,919
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Drop the gem. People need to hear the gem.

1129
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 1: Tell them, Tell them again.

1130
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 7: Then what I'm saying.

1131
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 13: We are told, oh, don't buy the coffee, don't get

1132
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 13: the manicure, like that is not going to save you

1133
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 13: in the end. If you never buy the coffee and

1134
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 13: you never have the manicure, you're not going to be

1135
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 13: financially secure.

1136
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 7: It's it's nonsense.

1137
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 13: And some guy came up with it just because he's

1138
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 13: irritated that women are trying to be happy, you know.

1139
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 13: But if you think big from you, that's how you're

1140
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 13: going to build equity in a business. That's how you're

1141
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 13: going to make enough money that will be like a sizable,

1142
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 13: a meaningful amount that you can actually invest and build

1143
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 13: other things for yourself.

1144
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 7: And for your family, even for my own kids, like

1145
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:49,720
Speaker 7: my own daughter. I teach her every.

1146
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 13: Day I go, you have to like live the life

1147
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 13: you want, live the life you want to do that

1148
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 13: yoga class every few days. Do the yoga class, but

1149
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 13: figure out how you're going to earn the money. Contracting

1150
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 13: yourself and trying to live within this tiny bubble that

1151
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 13: you think is all you can earn is not the

1152
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 13: answer to your growth.

1153
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 7: Not for me anyway.

1154
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 13: I'm all about I spend a lot of money now,

1155
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 13: I spend a crazy amount of money, but.

1156
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 7: It's all investment. To me, it's all investment because I

1157
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 7: buy back time.

1158
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 13: For example, I don't drive, I haven't driven a car

1159
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 13: in years because I sit in the back seat of

1160
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 13: a taxi or an uber and I work throughout.

1161
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 7: I don't waste a minute.

1162
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,479
Speaker 13: You will never see me wasting time in the back

1163
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 13: seat of any car because to me, that's my office.

1164
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 13: It's like a mobile office. I like to say work

1165
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 13: don't work from home, work from Uber because I go

1166
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 13: places I would not you know, I go places, I

1167
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 13: meet people. I'm constantly on the road. You know, if

1168
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 13: you're in or around the New York area, there's so

1169
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 13: many interesting people to meet on the daily. Don't restrict

1170
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 13: yourself to the geography of where you are, because the

1171
00:54:55,760 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 13: whole point of living in this neighborhood is in this area,

1172
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 13: eat everybody who's here to do all the things that

1173
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:02,839
Speaker 13: they are here to do.

1174
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 7: This is the world capital of ambition.

1175
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: All right, va fam, We have come to my fifth

1176
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:12,240
Speaker 1: and final pick, my top five moments of Summer twenty

1177
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: twenty five. This one is special. I have to shout

1178
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: out y'all, Elli Espinal and Chris Browning. Y'all know they

1179
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 1: have been holding me down at the Brown Table pretty

1180
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 1: much at least once a month I have them on

1181
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: and it's such a privilege to get to chat with them.

1182
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 1: And one of the best things about having Brown Table

1183
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:32,840
Speaker 1: co hosts who are not just my co host but

1184
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 1: actually friends of mine who have a line of sight

1185
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: into my personal life is that I feel very comfortable

1186
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 1: being vulnerable with them. And I think that always leads

1187
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 1: to better conversations. And I try to only have people

1188
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 1: on the show who I have a bit of a

1189
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 1: rapport with because I want to be I want to

1190
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: feel safe, and I want to be safe when I

1191
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 1: go there with y'all. And one of the things that

1192
00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: we've spoken about more recently is our personal emotional and

1193
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: mental health journeys. And this summer has been in such

1194
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 1: so many ways. There's so many highlights from this summer,

1195
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: but I also had a really hard time this summer.

1196
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 1: I battled the depression beast. At least I felt like

1197
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 1: once a month I had a significant bout of depression.

1198
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 1: And if you are someone who copes with depression and

1199
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 1: or anxiety, I call them my twisted sisters because they

1200
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: just go hand in hand. Then you know how difficult

1201
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 1: it can be to be to feel sort of like

1202
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 1: trapped within and trapped within your own mind and at

1203
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:41,879
Speaker 1: the time when everyone's outside and everything seems sparkly and

1204
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:46,240
Speaker 1: fun and sunny, and who has time to feel that way?

1205
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 1: And yet the clouds descend. And I at the time

1206
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: was opening up to Chris and Janelly about my journey,

1207
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 1: you know, dealing with that and I just really appreciate

1208
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 1: how they help space for me, and I wanted to

1209
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 1: highlight that, and I wanted to give them their flowers

1210
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:12,399
Speaker 1: as incredible co hosts, just amazing people in general. And dear,

1211
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 1: dear friends, And if you're someone who's dealing with your

1212
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 1: own mental health challenges, just know that you have a

1213
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 1: huge amount of empathy from me. I am right there

1214
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: with you. And all the feelings, as all consuming and

1215
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 1: suffocating as they can be, they change, right And I

1216
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: just really appreciate when I am going through those challenging

1217
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 1: times that I have ba Faan for one. Then I

1218
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 1: have friends like Chris and Yanelli and of course my

1219
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: own friends and family to hold me and let me be.

1220
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:51,440
Speaker 1: Just let me be the way that my mind is

1221
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 1: manifesting right now. Accept me. I don't even want to

1222
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 1: call it flawed, like I was going to say, accept

1223
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: me with these flaws, but just accept me the way

1224
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 1: I am. This is how my brain works, and I

1225
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: have these ups and downs, and it's just nice to

1226
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 1: see what it can look like to support someone where

1227
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: they're going through a challenging mental health period like I

1228
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: had this past summer. So please enjoy I think that

1229
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: there is some there. There's a lot to argue for

1230
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: just sticking your head under a pillow and just sleeping

1231
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: all day and like you know, checking out and falling

1232
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: into a depression because there's just a lot to be

1233
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: depressed about. Let's just be honest, I just don't have

1234
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: that option. Like I can be depressed, but I have

1235
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 1: to be functionally depressed, and to a certain extent, forcing

1236
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 1: myself out the house even if I am really depressed,

1237
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 1: because I do still have periods of depression, but getting

1238
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 1: outside and engaging with society is something I have to

1239
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 1: do as a mother, and.

1240
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 2: It helps. I'm not gonna lie.

1241
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 8: You know what.

1242
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 11: That's a good point because it is those moments where

1243
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 11: step outside and you see a peace people you're like, okay,

1244
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 11: all right, kind of kind of like ground you a

1245
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 11: little bit that you're like, okay, it's uh, it's things

1246
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 11: aren't going great, but at least you know it's not

1247
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 11: as bad as like your mind could kind of catastrophize it,

1248
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 11: like it feels like everything is just burnt to the ground,

1249
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 11: and sometimes to kind of snap yourself out of it,

1250
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 11: stepping outside does help, even if it feels so cliche

1251
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 11: to say, oh, what you go outside. But it kind

1252
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 11: of does help a little bit.

1253
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: It has to. I mean, like you have to, you

1254
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: have to. But that's the hardest part. It's like when

1255
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 1: you're in that state, when you are just so I mean, doll,

1256
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: do y'all deal with depression at all or have you

1257
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 1: had depression in your lives?

1258
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 14: I'm not gonna lie. I've not had a ton of

1259
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 14: issues with depression. And I wonder if that's because of

1260
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 14: constantly being surrounded by people like you know how you

1261
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 14: talk about Mandy, how you don't really have a choice.

1262
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 14: You have to be You have to be functional, whether

1263
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 14: you want to or not. Like I'm one of nine siblings,

1264
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:51,920
Speaker 14: so it was if it wasn't one of my siblings,

1265
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 14: if it wasn't my mom or my dad, it was

1266
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 14: always constantly others around me needing me right to be present.

1267
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 14: And I feel like that that's like my mind. In

1268
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 14: my mind though, vision that I have of myself is

1269
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 14: like the energizer bunny, Like I have no choice to

1270
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 14: keep going and going and going and going. If it's

1271
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 14: not personal family stuff, it's work. If it's not work,

1272
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 14: it's my own person. It's my business, or my relationship

1273
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 14: or my friends, or my nieces will text me, and

1274
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 14: I just constantly feel like I'm in go go go mode.

1275
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 14: And then when I do get a chance to pause

1276
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 14: and reflect and take a break if anything, I just

1277
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,080
Speaker 14: I'm like, I need to take a nap, Like I

1278
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 14: just need to rest. So it's just the cycle of

1279
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 14: like like literally the energizer bunny.

1280
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 2: Go go go, go go.

1281
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 1: Oh that's wonderful. Yeah, I mean I maybe there is

1282
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 1: something to that. It sounds right, I mean having good,

1283
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: healthy family dynamics or at least you know so. And

1284
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: I know there's no all perfect family, but still.

1285
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 14: Right absolutely not to say there's no chaos, no drama,

1286
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 14: no toxicity, just in terms of me dealing with it internally,

1287
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 14: not a lot of depression on my part.

1288
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, bless I would.

1289
01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 11: Say I've never, like like not clinically you know, diagnosed

1290
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 11: with depression, but I know I've definitely dealt with anxiety

1291
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 11: for most of my life, and then I've definitely had

1292
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 11: a periods of time where I was like, I don't

1293
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 11: know if I'm depressed, but it kind of feels like it. Uh,

1294
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 11: it can be hard to snap yourself out of it.

1295
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 1: I think it's been a year since I was in

1296
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: LA and I think at that time, weren't you just

1297
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 1: kind of coming out of a like a well, no,

1298
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: you had like earn your fitness journey and stuff by that.

1299
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it felt.

1300
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 11: Like it was at the start of it kind of

1301
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 11: like breaking out of it. Like I got like really

1302
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 11: down and kind of like especially I think it is

1303
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 11: that that isolation like you are talking about, like I was,

1304
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 11: you know, living by myself at that point, and you

1305
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 11: know you kind of like I was started therapy already

1306
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 11: and I was kind of I think that sometimes it's

1307
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 11: that there's that period of time where you're in therapy

1308
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 11: and you kind of like really dig it into some

1309
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 11: stuff you don't want to talk about, and then you

1310
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 11: really had to face a lot of parts of yourself.

1311
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 11: And I think that's where I was like really like,

1312
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 11: oh god, you know, how's this going. You know, I

1313
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 11: don't want to I don't really want to go do things.

1314
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 11: I didn't really want to hang out that much. I

1315
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:52,880
Speaker 11: was just like, you know, just you just kind of

1316
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 11: stay inside way too much. And I was in that

1317
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 11: pace kind of breaking out and then I hang out

1318
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 11: with you, Matty like that helped, Like we went outside

1319
01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 11: I had to go on a hike with you and

1320
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 11: all fall up the side of the cliff.

1321
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 2: Wow, I made you get up so early? Oh my god,

1322
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 2: did I save you? Was it me? Was the idea?

1323
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 2: I'm not giving you that credit. I would not give it.

1324
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 14: Who needs antidepressants and you got Maddy as a friend.

1325
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 1: No, But that was perfect for me too, because I

1326
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: was just coming out of postpartum, like I had been

1327
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 1: a year, and that was my first trip by myself

1328
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 1: to have my whole brain to myself.

1329
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 2: I was so excited to just like I was.

1330
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: Giddy to be out there and like be communicating with

1331
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: people and you know, working on my book and all that.

1332
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: So oh, I love that for us because it was

1333
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe we were on like kind of

1334
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: the same wavelength of you know, do we want to

1335
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: go do this hike? No? But then once you're doing it,

1336
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:43,959
Speaker 1: at least for me, I was like, let's do more,

1337
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: let's go further. Then I saw how much you sweat,

1338
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, abort, this is disgusting. I

1339
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 1: don't want to see No mo.

1340
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 4: No, it was she.

1341
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 2: Takes us on this hike.

1342
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 11: It is out there was any shade you just in

1343
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 11: the sun just getting not my fault.

1344
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 2: California got no shade.

1345
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 11: It was so hot that day it had to be

1346
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 11: pushing ninety issh and I don't even know what it was,

1347
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 11: but it was way too oh but it was a

1348
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 11: you know, even despite almost having a heat stroke, it

1349
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,640
Speaker 11: was it was nice to get out.

1350
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 6: It was worth it.

1351
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 14: Besides that it was worth it was.

1352
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: Why are we talking, Oh, yeah, just depression in general. No,

1353
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: but I think I think for me, the cycles of depression.

1354
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 1: What's great about my journey, you know, to understanding myself

1355
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 1: is things do tend to go on a cycle, and

1356
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 1: so I can recognize when we're going down, and then

1357
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 1: it actually makes it easier to cope with because I

1358
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 1: know that what goes down must come up. And then

1359
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 1: I just kind of almost you lean.

1360
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 2: Into the downward slide a bit.

1361
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: And by leaning into it and just be honest about it,

1362
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:49,400
Speaker 1: then people are you know, once who I've opened up to,

1363
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: like my husband and my neighbors, my family, they can

1364
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 1: one give me space to just like be a grumpy monkey.

1365
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: Amazing book. If you're a parent, you need to read

1366
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 1: a book to your kids about being depressed and just

1367
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 1: leaving people to feel their feelings. I can just kind

1368
01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: of be a grumpy monkey and then just know that

1369
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 1: it will pass and feelings change, and you know all that,

1370
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: and it's it's helpful in that way. Thanks so much

1371
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 1: for listening to my top five Moments of Summer twenty

1372
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: twenty five viafam. Did you enjoy this walk down memory lane?

1373
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 2: If so, let me know.

1374
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:29,520
Speaker 1: Hit me up Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.

1375
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 1: Sound off in the comments. If you are watching this

1376
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:36,280
Speaker 1: on YouTube or on the Patreon, let me know. If

1377
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: you're on Spotify, you can leave a comment there as well.

1378
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: Feedback is always welcome. I read all the reviews I

1379
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: can get my hands on. Oh yeah, you can DM me.

1380
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 1: I'll take it anywhere, Okay, engage. That's all I'm asking for.

1381
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 1: If I can create shows that get y'all thinking and

1382
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 1: even get you go into the keyboard to type out

1383
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 1: a thought or reaction or a comment or feedback, That's

1384
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 1: what I'm here to do.

1385
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 2: Truly.

1386
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see y'all will be back with

1387
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: your regularly scheduled Brown Table programming next week after Labor Day,

1388
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:08,400
Speaker 1: and I hope that y'all have what is left of

1389
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 1: this little summer. I hope you have a wonderful time

1390
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 1: and are finding some time to rest and reset and

1391
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 1: pour back into yourselves because sis you deserve it. Sending

1392
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 1: y'all so much love. Thank you, okayva fam, thank you

1393
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,680
Speaker 1: so much for listening to this week's show. I want

1394
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 1: to shout out to our production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla,

1395
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 1: our fearless leader for idea to launch productions. I want

1396
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 1: to shout out my assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair

1397
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 1: for helping me put the show together. It is not

1398
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 1: a one person project, as much as I have tried

1399
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:49,720
Speaker 1: to make it so these past ten years. I need help, y'all,

1400
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 1: and thank goodness I've been able to put this team

1401
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 1: around me to support me on this journey and to

1402
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 1: y'all be a fam.

1403
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 2: I love you so so, so so much.

1404
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 1: Please rate, review, subscribe, make sure you sign up to

1405
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 1: the newsletter to get all the latest updates on upcoming episodes,

1406
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:10,439
Speaker 1: our ten year anniversary celebrations to come, and until next time,

1407
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 1: talk to you soon via bye