1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: Say bye to your four hundred and twenty six hundred 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: and ninety nine dollars trust fund unless you get. 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 2: A prenup with your gold digging fiance. 4 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 3: Now there's there's. 5 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 4: Always like a little tension when you bring your significant 6 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 4: other into the family, like yes, oh, hey, you know 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 4: mean him. But then then you gotta throw you gotta 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 4: throw a steck of cash on it. 9 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: Then it gets really it's really messy, really really, which 10 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: is why you always get a prenup. Ooh every single time. 11 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: If you ain't no choke that we want prenup. Some background. 12 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: I have four kids. My eldest, John twenty seven male, 13 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: was with my first wife, who died when he was five. 14 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: Eventually remarried and got two step daughters, Lisa twenty five 15 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: female and an eighteen female. Then my second wife and 16 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: I had Mike, thirteen male. My wife and I made 17 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: sure to give them comfortable lives. When John and Lisa 18 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: graduated from university, we gifted them condo units. Pretty sick gift, 19 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: that's right. I think I said condoms for a dams. 20 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: Hey don't be knocking up anyone anytime, so come on. 21 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: We will also do the same when Anne and might graduate. Also, 22 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: all of them have trust funds that will be released 23 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 1: when they turn thirty. 24 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 3: Interesting, I didn't realize thirty was the thing. 25 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 2: I mean, I can do it whenever. 26 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 3: That's very smart. 27 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 28 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like thirty is like okay, because eighteen's bad, 29 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: eighteen's too young, too young, twenty five even I would say, 30 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: like thirty, I would say twenty eight. Yeah, give them 31 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: two years, two years early, two years. You know, let's 32 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,119 Speaker 1: give them some money in their twenties. 33 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 3: You know, there we go. 34 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm quite proud of my kids. John and Lisa 35 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,119 Speaker 1: graduated from top universities. John has a high paying job 36 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 1: as an engineer, while Lisa pursued a master's degree in 37 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: business while she worked in marketing. Eventually, she started her 38 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: own marketing consulting firm while being a part owner of 39 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:42,479 Speaker 1: a spa. 40 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 3: Dang, these kids are going crazy. 41 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 2: I understand why you're proud of them. 42 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 3: Absolute yo. 43 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: John recently got engaged to his girlfriend of two years 44 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: and they wanted to get married by the end of 45 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: the year. She seems nice, However, she doesn't earn as 46 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,559 Speaker 1: much as him. My son spends a lot of money 47 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: on her on dates and expensive gifts. 48 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 3: Oh, she doesn't earn as much money as she is. 49 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: She's not as high because, oh god, I understand that 50 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: it's his money and he can spend it however he wants. 51 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: But she also moved in with him in the condo 52 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: that I gave him, and as far as I know, 53 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: she doesn't pay her share of utilities and association fees. 54 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: And now John is asking to get part of his 55 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: trust fund so he could use it for the wedding 56 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: since his fiance doesn't have much money to contribute for 57 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: their wedding. Now here's where I may be casshole. 58 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 3: Here we go. 59 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: I told him I'd release part of his trust fund 60 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: early if he draws a prenup with her. He got 61 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: angry and told me I was being unfair because I 62 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: released half of Lisa's trust fund last year to help 63 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: put up her business. Ah, so it's like, why are 64 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: you doing it for some kids and not others? Yeah, 65 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: but I guess with the business, it's an investment that 66 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: could make more money. Wheah, with this, this is an 67 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: investment that could only take your money away getting married. Yeah, 68 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: say to get rid of all your money. 69 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 3: We're going down from here. Boys. 70 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: He told me that I was playing favorites. I told 71 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: him that Lisa did something worthwhile with her trust fund, 72 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: and while a wedding is worthwhile, I told him it 73 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: doesn't seem safe to use a fund for a wedding 74 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: to a girl who doesn't bring much to the table. 75 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 3: Bro, why does she hate on? 76 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: This? One? 77 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 2: Was so hard? 78 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, so hard for no reason? 79 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: Yike, God, I wonder if she's like, like, does she 80 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: has like maybe this girl, Like I feel like this 81 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: girl must have some redeeming qualities other than just being 82 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: a fat, big bank account. 83 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 4: Also, like, it's very often that like one person earns 84 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 4: more like, this is not an unusual scenario. 85 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, There's there's. 86 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 4: Plenty of couples where like the one partner just like 87 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 4: doesn't really have much or an income and that's just 88 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 4: how they roll, Like jo is what it is. 89 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: I told him I just wanted him to have some 90 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,119 Speaker 1: security by drawing a prenup. 91 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 2: He got angry and said, I was implying this fiance 92 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 2: is a gold digger. 93 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: My wife and the rest of the family refused to 94 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: take side. So am I the a hole? And there 95 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: is a updates? But John, what do you think? 96 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm saying the a hole because like and granted, 97 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 4: like we don't have all the context and all the information, 98 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 4: but from what it seems, this woman just has it 99 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 4: out for this poor girl who's just like out here 100 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 4: doing her thing. Yeah, the you know, John is successful, 101 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 4: but like, what what does that matter? 102 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 2: I think I think Op is a man. 103 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,159 Speaker 4: Yes, it feels like OP just has it out, uh 104 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 4: for the fiance because like I just I just I 105 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 4: just don't understand that we don't have all the context, 106 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 4: but I'm not seeing the like thread where Op is like, oh, 107 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 4: I'm now. 108 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 3: If she had if if the fiance had a. 109 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 4: History of like you know, scamming the boyfriends or something like, oh, 110 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 4: but this time is different. 111 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 3: Like sure that that's fair. 112 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: So let me ask you this, Yeah, go ahead, At 113 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 1: what point is it taking advantage? You know, like if 114 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: the boyfriend is paying for rent, utilities, expensive gifts. 115 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 3: What was he paying for rent? Though it sounds like 116 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 3: we don't know. 117 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: We might find out, but okay, okay, Like, at what 118 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: point would you say that she's mooching off of him? 119 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 4: Hmmm? Now, I am very pro splitting expenses, very pro 120 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 4: splitting expenses. I think I think that creates like a 121 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 4: nice equilibrium in the relationship. Now that being said, I 122 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 4: don't necessarily think you have to do that. 123 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 3: I think it. 124 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 4: Seems like John is earning a lot of money, and 125 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 4: I think I could see myself if I'm putting myself 126 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 4: in his shoes, in John's shoes, I love being in 127 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 4: those shoes. I could see myself being like, hey, I 128 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 4: have the money, like who cares? Don't worry about it, 129 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 4: like you know. And it doesn't seem like he's necessarily 130 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 4: like you know, buying her like Gucci bags and all 131 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 4: this stuff like left and right. That's maybe more concerning. 132 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 4: He's just like covering some of the basic needs so 133 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 4: she doesn't have to worry about it. I don't see 134 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 4: an issue with that. 135 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, it's like his relationship. 136 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: It's his relationship, and it's his trust fund, and you 137 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: did release it to your other, your other, your other kid. Yeah, 138 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: I guess I would be worried, like I guess, ohp, 139 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: he's just worried that it's gonna get taken away, which 140 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: you know what, Okay, maybe that is a concern, you know, 141 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: that could be fair, But at the end of the day, 142 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: it's Opie's life and ope's and choice. 143 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 4: Maybe that happens. If that happens, you know then that 144 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 4: it is mistake to me. It's on, It's it's on John. 145 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. So so let's get into the update. 146 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 3: Let's know it. 147 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 2: I'm ready, all right. 148 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: The next day after I posted, I had a long 149 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: conversation with my son. First, I apologize to him for 150 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,039 Speaker 1: making that comment about his fiance. I realized it was 151 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,679 Speaker 1: demeaning and uncalled for, which I think we both agree 152 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: on yep. Second, I asked about their living arrangement. He 153 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: did admit to paying for everything, including bills and food. 154 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: She does the cooking sometimes, but he even pays for 155 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: someone to clean because neither of them would. I asked 156 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: if she ever offered a pay and he said no. 157 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: I understand it's under my business, but the fact that 158 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: she never offered is raising some flags in my head. 159 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: I gave him some things to think about and maybe 160 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: discuss with her, like what would happen if he loses 161 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: his job or for some reason illness slash accident, he 162 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: has to stop working. I told him that I have 163 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: nothing against their arrangement and him spoiling her, but he 164 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: has to be wiser about his spending habits. Third, I 165 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: explained the importance of a prenup and said that I 166 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: had one with his mom and his stepmom. He still 167 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: refuses to because, according to him, it might offend her 168 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: again raising some red flags. So I will stick to 169 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: my decision and release his trust fund when he's thirty, 170 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: as we initially agreed on. He wasn't happy with this right. Lastly, 171 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: I asked what kind of wedding they planned to have 172 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: that they felt the need to use his trust fund. 173 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: Apparently she dreams of having a big wedding on the beach. 174 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: She also wants to have a photo and video production 175 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: to announce their engagement, which I find ridiculous. I don't 176 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: know if that's ridiculous. You know, usually have photos for 177 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: the engagement. Yeah, they want it this year, but can't 178 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: afford it, as she is only paying for her wedding dress, 179 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: and my son admitted that he doesn't have a lot 180 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: of savings, probably from going on expensive dates and trips. 181 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: I told him that it's not practical, but if they 182 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: really want it, they should wait and save up for it. 183 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: At that point, I was feeling better about my decision 184 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: to not release his trust fund early. 185 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 2: The way I see it. 186 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,119 Speaker 1: My son could go broke in a few years paying 187 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: for everything and spoiling his fiance slash wife. Their trust 188 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,719 Speaker 1: fund is the last thing all my kids will get 189 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: from me. That being said, I may be an axhole, 190 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 1: but not a total asshole to not support his wedding. 191 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: My wife and I agreed to give them a certain 192 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: amount that should cover a nice venue and still have 193 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: some left over for other expensives. It will be our 194 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: wedding gift to them, And if he's still not happy, 195 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: then there's nothing I could do. If they go no 196 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: contact or low contact, I'd feel at peace with my decision. 197 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 2: Wow. 198 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: I provided for him and try to protect him. If 199 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: she leaves him and he ends up losing everything, I'd 200 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: hate for that to happen, but that's on him. I 201 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: do hope their marriage works out. That's the end of 202 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: the story. We had a little bit more context. 203 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 3: We do. 204 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna throw it to you and John, So what 205 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 1: do you think is OPD a hole? Is OPD a 206 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: hole for not releasing the trust fund until thirty even 207 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: though he released it for another one of his kids, 208 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: albeit it was for a business investment. John, I'll pass 209 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: it off to you what do you think. 210 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 3: You know what, Sam, I'm still going oh, pc a hole. 211 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 4: I'm still going there because I think that, uh, I 212 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 4: just found a few things odd. One, he's still kind 213 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 4: of like we do have a little more context, and 214 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 4: maybe there is some I don't gold digging is too yeah, 215 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,839 Speaker 4: muching is maybe a better word. 216 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 3: You know. 217 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 4: Maybe she's like, Okay, I got this like sweet little ride, 218 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 4: but maybe she also loves him and it's kind of like, 219 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 4: you know, this is just part of the package and 220 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 4: just like, hey, this. 221 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 3: Is what I want blah blah blah. 222 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,839 Speaker 4: Definitely I did see more of what he was saying 223 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 4: with the context, and again I would not probably. 224 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: Would you give the You would give the trust fund early. 225 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 4: Yes, because at the end of the day, it's his 226 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 4: decision to make. 227 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 2: But if he goes broke, it is what it is. 228 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 4: And I also found it very odd that he said 229 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 4: I'm okay knowing that he might go no or low. 230 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 3: That to me was crazy. 231 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 4: I would do anything to stay in touch with my 232 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,719 Speaker 4: child and to be okay with something as stupid as 233 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 4: this getting in the way of me continuing a relationship 234 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 4: with my son. I would never allow that, never, like 235 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 4: like not like if my son wants to go no 236 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 4: low contact. 237 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 3: You get what I'm saying, right, Like I. 238 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:45,880 Speaker 1: Would put in the work to maintain the relationship, be like, hey, 239 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm okay with him going to contact. 240 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 4: He's almost like I don't care, And I'm like, what's 241 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 4: wrong with I don't know that? That to me kind 242 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 4: of like pushing. Could be playing favorites, Yeah, there could 243 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 4: be some favoritism, could be some like distrust of of 244 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 4: of the fiance. 245 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm just not I'm not getting good vibes. 246 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 3: I'm not getting good vibes. 247 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 248 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: I So I have like a somewhat relevant story. Yeah, 249 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: I had a rich ex girlfriend. Oh yeah, right, and 250 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: she would literally pay for everything. Yeah, Like we would 251 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 1: go out to dinner, like three hundred dollars dinners. I 252 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: had no money. 253 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 2: I was in high school. Right, she would pay for it. 254 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:18,199 Speaker 3: Right. 255 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: We will to like Whole Foods, get sushi, she paid 256 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: for it. She'd take me on like yachts to the Galapagos, Right, 257 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: she'd pay for it. We would go to Fiji, she'd 258 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 1: pay for it. 259 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 2: Right. And it was sick yeah, right. 260 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: But eventually it got to the point where it was 261 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: like her mom got a little upset that I was 262 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 1: like mooching a little bit interesting, you know, like I 263 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: wasn't paying for any of it. Right to be fair, 264 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: I had no money to savor it because I was 265 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: literally in high school. But I see, I can see 266 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: how like in retrospect, I don't think it was a 267 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: good move for me to mooch off my girlfriend right right. 268 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: It doesn't sit right with me now, right, So I 269 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: feel a little I feel like a little reticent about 270 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:06,839 Speaker 1: this like complete mooching situation. And her it doesn't seem 271 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 1: like it doesn't with the with the story that we 272 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: have and the information we have, it doesn't seem like 273 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: she's doing much or anything to help with any expenses. Yeah, 274 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: and that seems like a little bit of a red 275 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: flag to me. 276 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 4: I totally agree. I hate gold digging, by the way, 277 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 4: like passionately. But I think for me, it's kind of 278 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,319 Speaker 4: one of those things where it's like it's your relationship, 279 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,680 Speaker 4: it's not just your relationship. But I think it's like 280 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 4: like with young kids a lot, it's like, hey, I 281 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 4: know that they're going to do wrong, but I need 282 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 4: to let them fail so they can learn for themselves. 283 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 4: Because I think what could happen is op could keep 284 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 4: like he's gonna make John dig his heels in more 285 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 4: and more and more, versus like, all right, go ahead 286 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 4: and John will find out on his own. 287 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 3: Maybe she really is a gold digger. 288 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: But would you want that to be that expensive of 289 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: a lesson if you like, let's say you see your kid. Yeah, 290 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 1: and let's say they don't have a girlfriend, right, right, 291 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: and you see their kid, You see your kid and 292 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: spending left and right, yeah, right, expensive dinners, expensive gifts, right, 293 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: and maybe good person overall has good relationships but just 294 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 1: does not know how to manage their money. I would say, hey, 295 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 1: I don't think you know how to manage your money. 296 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 2: Now. 297 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: I'm not going to give you your inheritance early because 298 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: you haven't shown me that you can be responsible yet. 299 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 1: And so I would be like, yeah, I would be like, 300 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: this is to protect you and your future. You're going 301 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: to have this at thirty whether you become good at 302 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 1: spending and you're wonder whether you're spending habits or under 303 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 1: control or not. But like, I don't want you to 304 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,199 Speaker 1: have to learn a very difficult lesson, you know. 305 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think again, honestly, at the end, it's it's 306 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 4: just a very tricky scenario because I mean, you're right, 307 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 4: like it would be ideal for John not to have 308 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 4: to go through this expensive lesson if that's what ends 309 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,839 Speaker 4: up happening. I think the tricky part is you could 310 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 4: severely soil the relationship between the two of you, and 311 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 4: because if you think about it, you wouldn't be able 312 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 4: to help at all. Yeah, and also too, like if 313 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 4: I'm thinking about it, like if i'm me, I'm like, 314 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,319 Speaker 4: I know that as long as there's not insane debt, 315 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 4: So that's that's the one thing I would look out for, 316 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 4: and I would dig and try to see, like does 317 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 4: my son have a lot of debt right now? 318 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 3: Because of this? 319 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 4: As long as my son doesn't have debt, it's fine 320 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 4: because I know that I can make sure that he 321 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 4: can get back on his feet and then set him 322 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 4: back up right and he's now learned his lesson and 323 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 4: carries that with him for the rest of his life, 324 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 4: and the relationship is intact versus Like I'm just too 325 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 4: worried about the potential impact on it. 326 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 3: I think. 327 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 2: I Mean. 328 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: The other thing is relationship sounds like they want a 329 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: really expensive wedding. Yeah, Like that's going to go through 330 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: that trust fund really quick if it's gonna be if 331 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: it's super expensive. 332 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, I do think it's fair to say, Hey, I'll 333 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 4: be honest, like, I don't think this is I would 334 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 4: not do this. 335 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 3: I don't think this is smart. And that's probably what 336 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 3: I would say. 337 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 4: But like, I want you to live your life, and 338 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 4: you know, if you're gonna be your wins and your mistakes, 339 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 4: I want them to be your own. 340 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, so go ahead, But this is what I think. 341 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 4: This is my advice to you, and and I'm always 342 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 4: going to be here for you no matter what happens. 343 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 3: And but you know your decisions are your own. Go ahead. Yeah. 344 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: I feel like Op's treating his child as a child 345 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: and what you just said is treating them as an adult. 346 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 347 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 2: And so it's like, do you trust your child to 348 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 2: be an adult? 349 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 4: And it's also the severity of the issue, right, Like 350 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 4: if there's some like life threatning thing, okay, yeah, then 351 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 4: you kind of have to like you can't let your 352 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 4: child make a life threatening mistake. But like if it's 353 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 4: something like money, where it's like I know I can 354 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 4: house you and get you back on your feet and whatever, 355 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 4: that's okay. 356 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, so I think you've convinced me. 357 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: I think I think I'm pro giving the kid his half, 358 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: just half half of the money. 359 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 4: Early, Is this my first time bringing you over the line? 360 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 4: You've brought me over the line many times. You're pretty good. 361 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 4: I think I think you brought me over the line 362 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 4: of a few times. Okay, it's a rare event just 363 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 4: in general. 364 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: But but no, I think it's like, you got to 365 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: treat your kids as adults eventually. Yeah, you know, and 366 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: what the kid's like, twenty five, twenty seven, I think, oh, yeah, 367 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: twenty seven, I mean, yeah, only three years early. 368 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 4: Like that's basically us. I imagine we were in that scenario. 369 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I gotta make your own mistakes, dude, got 370 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: to make your own even if he like Op could 371 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: be right. And I know my kid, and I know 372 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: he's going to spend all the money he's getting taken 373 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: advantage of what like maybe Op knows everything. But at 374 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's like, you're only gonna yeah, 375 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: I think you're right, You're only going to instill hate, yeah, 376 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: into his heart. And at least with this, you know, 377 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: it's it's a low. It's it's like he might learn 378 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: a hard lesson, or maybe it's fine. 379 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, you end up broke, like you could end up 380 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 4: broke in both scenarios, but at least you don't have 381 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 4: a bad relationship with your dad in exactly that one scenario. 382 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, I think. I think the greater risk 383 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: is him going no contact yes, yes, and thinking that 384 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 1: you're playing favorites. 385 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 4: I totally agree. But there's something else that's very no risk, Sam, 386 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 4: it's actually all reward. 387 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: The thing that's all reward is reading our public subscribers comments. 388 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 3: That's right. 389 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 4: These comments come from the video my biracial sister called 390 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 4: my white pairs it's racist? 391 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 3: Do I kick her out? 392 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 4: This is where Opie disinvited her adopted sister from the 393 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,159 Speaker 4: wedding because she called their white parents racist. This is 394 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 4: from public subscriber Jenna Beee. Not all birth parents that 395 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 4: give up their children are trash, and not all adoptive 396 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 4: parents are freaking angels. 397 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 3: Good perspective to share. 398 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 4: Public subscriber Headwound four says Opie's sister is going to 399 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 4: regret how she's been treating people that care for her 400 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 4: sometime down the line and most likely too late to be, 401 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 4: and most likely too late to reconcile. I can see 402 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 4: if she was a teenager, but she's an adult and 403 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,919 Speaker 4: her actions have consequences. 404 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:34,159 Speaker 3: You know. 405 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 4: We do always love that there is a discourse, discussion 406 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 4: and hopefully learning in our comments on these videos. 407 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 3: So keep them. 408 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 4: Comment publicly, subscribe comment We just might read yours. 409 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 3: We'll see you next time, See you soon. 410 00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 4: My wife cheated and had four affair babies. She coerced 411 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 4: me into raising is my own kids? Now I'm gonna 412 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 4: get sweet revenge? 413 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: Is he gonna get revenge on the affair babies too? 414 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 1: Are they in the mix? 415 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 2: You know? 416 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 4: Sometimes when when you're just shooting shrapnel, shrapnel gets sounds 417 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 4: like the affair babies are going to have a tough life. 418 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,959 Speaker 2: It sounds like also a fair babies is such a 419 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 2: sad name for children. 420 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 3: So some background. 421 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 4: I met my wife when we were in high school 422 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 4: and we married in college. We have five beautiful children together, 423 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 4: and really I consider them total blessings, regardless of what 424 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 4: I'm about to bring out. 425 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 1: Oh God, which ones are the affair babies? Which ones 426 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 1: get less of His love? 427 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 4: And up until a couple of weeks ago, I thought 428 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 4: that we had the perfect marriage we were typical high 429 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 4: school sweethearts. We go out together, we never fight, and 430 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,399 Speaker 4: I feel like I've done everything a loving husband should do. 431 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 4: And I'm not saying this to make myself out as 432 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 4: like the perfect husband. For example, my work has always 433 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 4: meant I work long hours, and maybe I haven't always 434 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 4: been there when she needed me. But I want to 435 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 4: stress that I've never felt that our marriage was in trouble, 436 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 4: and never in a million years would I have ever 437 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 4: suspected my wife of being disloyal. She's always done everything 438 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 4: she could to support me and. 439 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 3: Take care of our children. Man, this is a great 440 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 3: relationship going going south here. 441 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: Like like when it's set up like that, Man, Man's 442 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: about to be totally blindsided big time. 443 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 3: Now. 444 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 4: My eldest daughter recently had an ancestry test done. 445 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 3: Oh we all know how those end. 446 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: The ancestry tests never end well. Ancestry dot Com has 447 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: been responsible for like or like twenty three and meters 448 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: those companies, they've been responsible for so many, just like 449 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: obliterated Family I needed. 450 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 4: I want to I want a track record of like 451 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 4: the popularity of ancestry tests and the divorce rate and 452 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 4: like just see. 453 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 2: This one together and the. 454 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,640 Speaker 4: Results of the ancestry test strongly suggested that I was. 455 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,399 Speaker 3: Not her father. 456 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:56,439 Speaker 4: Fuck. 457 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 3: Not good. 458 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 2: Not good. 459 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 4: She confided this to me Lee showing the results, and 460 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 4: I could tell that she was visibly upset by this. 461 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 4: Of course, the first thing I did was reassure her 462 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 4: that no matter what, she is always my daughter and 463 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 4: I will always love her unconditionally. 464 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 2: Wow a lot, all right, At least at least at 465 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 2: least we have that. 466 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 4: Yes, it seems like he wants he wants to remain 467 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 4: their father. 468 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. 469 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 4: But secondly, the two of us decided to get an 470 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,920 Speaker 4: official paternity test, since the ancestry tests. 471 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 3: Are not completely reliable. 472 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 4: It comes back and I am indeed not her biological father. 473 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 2: You are not the father. 474 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 3: I told you. 475 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 4: This news really broke me. I'm ashamed to say that 476 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,880 Speaker 4: I broke down into tears in front of my daughter. 477 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 2: Don't be ashamed. That's hard, I. 478 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,880 Speaker 3: Know, I know, like you should be allowed to. 479 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 2: Feel every right to feel that way. 480 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 3: Every right. 481 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 4: The combination of finding out about my wife's infidelity and 482 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,959 Speaker 4: how upset I was making my daughter by how I 483 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 4: was reacting was really hard. I really wish I had 484 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,880 Speaker 4: kept it in for her. Sake, but I didn't. Don't 485 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 4: beat yourself up. Man, That's that's a lot to go through. 486 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 3: God. 487 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 4: Following this, I asked my other children except my youngest, 488 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,919 Speaker 4: to come and see me. I wanted to know the 489 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 4: extent of my wife's infidelity. 490 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: Oh geez, I like now, it's like going through each kid. 491 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: It's like, all right, which ones look similar? 492 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:31,120 Speaker 3: Yeah? 493 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,880 Speaker 2: Which one looks similar to the first one? 494 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 3: Are you my son? Are you my daughter? 495 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 2: Are you my daddy? 496 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 3: Now? 497 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 4: If this was a one off, I could maybe work 498 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 4: past it, especially given how long ago it would be. However, 499 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 4: I didn't want to tell my youngest as she's still 500 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 4: in school. She's just a teenager, and really I didn't 501 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 4: think it was appropriate to tell her just yet. Fair 502 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 4: makes sense that tact the kids, we tell the other 503 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,880 Speaker 4: three what happened. I reassure them that I love them 504 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 4: unconditionally and that I will always be their dad. But 505 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 4: I need to know how long this has been going on. Also, 506 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 4: this is so crazy because it's like, not only was 507 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 4: she cheating, she was cheating having someone else's children and 508 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:19,880 Speaker 4: passing them off as his own kids. Like that is 509 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,120 Speaker 4: there's something evil, Like I don't. 510 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: Know, Like are they not wearing protection or anything like, 511 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: it's so fucked God. 512 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 2: If you're gonna cheat, rap it man. 513 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. God. 514 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,879 Speaker 4: I cannot begin to explain how touching their reaction was. 515 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 4: They didn't care that I wasn't their biological father. They 516 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 4: were just upset about how heartbroken I was. 517 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 2: I'm heartbroken. 518 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 3: Good thing me too. This is insane. 519 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like the only thing that 520 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 4: has kept me going these last couple of weeks is 521 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 4: their unwavering support. 522 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 3: So we have paternity tests for each of the three done. 523 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 4: Not only are none of them my biological children, none 524 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:12,200 Speaker 4: of them zero no, but together four of my children 525 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 4: have three different fathers. So she had four kids with 526 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 4: three other guys and never never told no, never told me. 527 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 2: I mean, how how do they not look different? Though? 528 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 3: I get I don't. I don't. 529 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 4: That's a good question. Maybe maybe it's just like it's 530 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 4: enough to where they look kind of like the mom, 531 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 4: where it's like passable, like, wow, all your kids really 532 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,679 Speaker 4: take after after your mom, because that's kind of normal, right, 533 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,239 Speaker 4: people like oh, people are like, oh, you take out 534 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 4: your mom, you take after your dad, right, So it's. 535 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 3: Like, wow, they really just all take after your mom. 536 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 3: Don't they don't they? Jeez? 537 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 4: Good God? And this somehow made it worse. Uh, yes, yes, 538 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,959 Speaker 4: that would make it worse. It's like she wasn't just 539 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 4: having an ongoing affair, but she was having multiple affairs. 540 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 3: I can't explain how this makes it worse, but it 541 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 3: just does. 542 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 2: Oh p no, it makes it worse, makes it worse. 543 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 3: She was running around on like multiple multiple people. 544 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 2: Good like good great lies the lies. 545 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,199 Speaker 4: So I confront my wife with us, expecting her to 546 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 4: confess and beg for forgiveness. But the thing is she 547 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 4: doesn't even confess what not, Only that she doesn't even 548 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 4: take it seriously. She says that the tests must be 549 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:43,640 Speaker 4: flawed all four I don't know, man, they're all flawed, Sam. 550 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 4: All the tests are wrong. Science is wrong, Sam. 551 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 2: The big lie, the big lies. 552 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,640 Speaker 4: Has big How the heck? Am I supposed to take 553 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,719 Speaker 4: her seriously with this? I keep bringing it up and 554 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,679 Speaker 4: she keeps brushing it off, getting aggressively more annoyed with me. 555 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 3: How How is she annoyed with you? 556 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: How? Also? 557 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 1: But props to her for being like so such a 558 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: stone cold liar bro that she like, oh like that's nothing. 559 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 3: That she is a world class life in the world. 560 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,359 Speaker 3: She's like, stop stop annoying me. 561 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: I mean, but honestly, like she she had three four 562 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: other affairs that we she had multiple like children affairs 563 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: from the children. 564 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, for the children, So there's probably more. 565 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 3: The fifth one didn't get tested because he didn't want 566 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 3: to be it. 567 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 1: Could it could have been, like it could have been. 568 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: Those are the ones that ended up having kids. But like, 569 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: what if it's just like a new guy every day, 570 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: entirely possible that there that there's more. Now when I 571 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,159 Speaker 1: bring it up, she will try to guilt trip me. 572 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: We've been together since high school? Do you seriously not 573 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: cross me? 574 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,959 Speaker 2: Wow? Fucking it back in the back. This is the worst, 575 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 2: worst kind of person. 576 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 4: But how am I supposed to just trust her in 577 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 4: the face of such overwhelming your. 578 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: I don't trust her. She is lying to you. She 579 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 1: is lying like liar, you're right. 580 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 3: The science is wrong. I'm so sorry, science ain't wrong. 581 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 2: And then she's all wrong? 582 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 4: How how could you confront me like this? How could you? 583 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,679 Speaker 4: How could you say these bold face lies? If she 584 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 4: would like full Karen with it so dumb? 585 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:28,800 Speaker 3: How dare you? 586 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 2: How dare you accuse me of cheating? 587 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 3: Trust me? Now? 588 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,199 Speaker 4: That I've rambled. Let me ask some quick questions of advice. 589 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 4: How can I assume this doesn't change anything between my children? 590 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,239 Speaker 4: I feel like the way I've reacted total breakdowns has 591 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 4: made them second guests, despite how many times I try 592 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 4: to reassure them. How do I handle this with my 593 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 4: younger daughter? I feel like our marriage is beyond saving 594 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 4: and I will need to tell her something. I don't 595 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 4: want her to know the truth until she's older, but 596 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 4: I also don't want my wife lying and making me 597 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 4: out to be the villain. And then, finally, is there 598 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 4: any way any way at all? You? I think that 599 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 4: I should be saving my marriage. I've been with my 600 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 4: wife my entire life, and it's impossible to see life 601 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 4: without her. I know the answer should be a clear 602 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 4: cut leave her, but we have five kids together, and 603 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 4: if there's anything that can be done to save the marriage, 604 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 4: I want to consider it seriously. 605 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well, in terms of saving the marriage, I 606 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: mean it's like it's kind of up to ope, right, 607 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: It's like, how much are you willing to accept? 608 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:26,160 Speaker 3: Take? 609 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: Like? I don't think you can ever? Like in terms 610 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: of trust, like, I don't think you can trust her 611 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 1: when it comes to not cheating again like she has. 612 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: She showed that she's a compulsive liar. So if you're 613 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 1: okay with her lying and then going on like along 614 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: with your like, but the thing is like, maybe, like 615 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 1: it sounds like he was pretty happy beforehand. He's like, oh, 616 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,119 Speaker 1: like nothing was wrong. It was pretty happy. And so 617 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: if you're okay with like living like this, you know, happy, 618 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 1: go lucky life. But knowing that your wife is getting 619 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: railed by thousand other guys and some of those some 620 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 1: of those railings are turning into children, then then maybe 621 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,679 Speaker 1: your marriages can be saved. 622 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 4: This is a hard one to yeah, because it's like 623 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 4: he hasn't dated for basically his entire adult life. He 624 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 4: has five children, and it's like, how how is he 625 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 4: supposed to go out and learn how to find like 626 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 4: another person to spend his life with. 627 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: At this point, you you know what you do, what 628 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: you're going to pick up? Becomes a pickup artist. Nice, Yeah, 629 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: And then and then he starts bagging all those chicks. 630 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: And then and then he'll come back to his wife 631 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: and see like see now, now look what I've become. 632 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 1: I've become the ultimate ultimate suavenator. And then she'll be like, 633 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: is that really what he wanted all along? And he's like, no, really, 634 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: what I all I want wanted all along was you. 635 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: And then they get back together and then she cheats 636 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 1: on him again and then he kills himself. 637 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,320 Speaker 4: That would have been that was very close to being 638 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 4: beautiful love story. I was thinking it could be he 639 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 4: could like try and sleep with and have his children 640 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 4: with as many women as possible and then raising Angus Connate, 641 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 4: raise an army of children to murder her and just 642 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 4: go for it. 643 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, genghis Kan it did. 644 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 4: Eighteen year long game plan or maybe like fifteen sixteen 645 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 4: seventy one. 646 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 3: Once they've garnered enough strength. 647 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, they like, like a sixteen year old's pretty lethal. 648 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,360 Speaker 3: Could you imagine just surround the house. 649 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, children, we have all of these kids get out. 650 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 1: Apparently there was a doctor that in some small town 651 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: that was a fertility doctor and he like gave his 652 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 1: sperm to like two thousand women and he has like 653 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 1: two thousand kids. 654 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 3: Is that the Netflix special? I think so? 655 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that that is like that. 656 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 4: I saw the trailer for that, and I was like, like, 657 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 4: the whole all these people in the town, they don't 658 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 4: know if they're like dating their brother. 659 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of them are and like there's 660 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: a bunch of like birth defects and ship Oh god, 661 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 1: what it's like super imbed. Yeah, but there is a 662 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: quick update, oh shit, from the advice in our slash parenting, 663 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: I've decided to do the following get second tests just 664 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 1: in case some freak accident has occurred. If the ancestry 665 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 1: and parental tests weren't enough, we're going around three. 666 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 2: Well, honestly, like what if what if it was like 667 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 2: some freak accident. 668 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 4: That would be four tests all being wrong with But yeah, 669 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 4: that would be crazy. I'm gonna confront my wife with 670 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 4: all four children present. That's honestly a good idea. Wow, 671 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 4: tell my youngest the situation, ask her if she wants 672 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,400 Speaker 4: to have a paternity test, and let it be entirely 673 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 4: her decision. I'm one hundred percent going to get some 674 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 4: form of therapy. My mental state has really been deteriorators, yeah, Jesus, 675 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 4: deteriorating over the last couple of weeks, and I owe 676 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 4: it to my kids to hold it together. Dude, give 677 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 4: your give yourself a break, like you you you deserve 678 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 4: a break, and you've been through a lot Also, it 679 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 4: sounds like most of them are adults, so you know, 680 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 4: obviously it's good for you to be there for them, 681 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 4: but also you don't have to be there for them 682 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 4: at your own detriment and expense. 683 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, fill your own cup before you 684 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 2: can fill others. 685 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 3: That's right. 686 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 4: And depending on whether my wife tells the truth and 687 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 4: what her explanation is, if any, I have not ruled 688 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 4: out some form of counseling, but at the moment, I 689 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 4: think divorce is inevitable unless she changes her attitude drastically, 690 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 4: and I'm going to contact a lawyer and prepare for 691 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 4: divorce if it comes to that.