1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buggle up, pinhold on tight. 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Subject. 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: He's bawling out of control with my money. Dear Stephen Shirley, 9 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm in my early fifties and my husband and I 10 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: have been married for seven years. Since the beginning of 11 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: our union, he knows that I'm able to manage all 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: of our household expenses, and he has taken advantage of it. 13 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: I found. I've funded a lot of hair brained business 14 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: games he's invested in and lost a lot of money 15 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: fooling with him. He's had a string of jobs and 16 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: leadership positions that I've helped him get, but the longest 17 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: he stayed at one company is two years. His uses 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 1: always they got me fed up and they can't talk 19 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: to me any count of way. I've encouraged him to 20 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,760 Speaker 1: get training and insurance sales or real estates, but he 21 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: says that's not his speed, so instead he has plenty 22 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: of time to dress up in his linen outfits, drive 23 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,119 Speaker 1: the car I pay for, and smoke expensive cigars with 24 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: his friends and making them think he's on their level. 25 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: I've heard him brag to them about how he has 26 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: a strong black woman holding him holding him down. When 27 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: I look at it, we have nothing in common except 28 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: our faith, and he's a great listener and outstanding lover. 29 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: He's thoughtful and always goes on all out for my birthday, 30 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: our anniversary and holidays, but he uses my money to 31 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: do it. I know men merry women, they don't work, 32 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: and they don't mind taking care of their wife, but 33 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: should a woman be put in this position with her husband? 34 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: I want him to be a better provider. I'm all 35 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: for supporting a black man, letting him find his way, 36 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: but this is too much. Do you think it's time 37 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: to give up on him? Wow? Well, I think you 38 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: know that's for you to decide. Only you can decide 39 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: that for yourself. But I can help you, you know, 40 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: I can help you in some way with that decision. 41 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: And my first question is why is it that he's 42 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: allowed to do whatever the heck he wants to do 43 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: while you're working every day to bring home the money 44 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: that he spends. He's strong and healthy. I'm assuming he's 45 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: not sick, right. You didn't mention any of that. You 46 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: didn't mention anything about any physical challenges or mental challenges. 47 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: You didn't mention having kids that he could be staying 48 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: home to watch. No, this dude is perfectly fine according 49 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 1: to you, and looks like he's living his best life 50 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 1: since when a smoking cigars with your friends and linen 51 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: suits a job, because that's what it sounds like he's 52 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: doing for work. And of course he goes all out 53 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,119 Speaker 1: on your birthday and your anniversary. He's got to keep 54 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: you happy so you'll keep financing his expensive lifestyle. You see. Yes, 55 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: he is just keeping He wants you to just keep 56 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: the checks coming. That's what that's all about. I know 57 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: plenty of people who would quit their jobs if they 58 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: had a cushion like you, because you know they complain, 59 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: but they stay in it because you know they have 60 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: to provide for their family. You know, that's what men 61 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: are taught to do. You are You are his safety net. 62 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: If you stop supplying his habits, he will have to 63 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: stop and get a job. So let me ask you 64 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: another question. What are you getting out of this? What 65 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: are you really getting out of this? Besides great sex? 66 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: You say, and you guys share the same faith. I mean, 67 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: do you know that there are men who work jobs 68 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: and have businesses that you know that can put it 69 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: down in the bedroom as well? Yeah? They, Yeah, there 70 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: are men out there just like that. I think you're 71 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: stressing yourself out over him. I think he's just spending 72 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: your heart on money without a care in the world. 73 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: I think he needs to get a job. He needs 74 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: to keep the job and take some of this unnecessary 75 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: pressure off you provide for you. That's what a caring 76 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: and loving husband would do. They wouldn't sit back and 77 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: wait until your payday with their handout. So leaving him 78 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: at this point would probably be a relief for you. Okay, 79 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: but you make up your own mind, Steve. Let's get 80 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: on into this traveling as dude. Yes, he bawling out 81 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,559 Speaker 1: of control with my money. The only way a person 82 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: can do that is you give him access to it. 83 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 1: Surely kind of referred to that, but that's what you're doing. This. 84 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: A lot of this is your fault. You know since 85 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: the beginning, he always knew you could manage the household expenses, 86 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: and he took advantage of it. Now you've funded a 87 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: lot of hair brained business schemes, he'd have lost a 88 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 1: lot of money. And then you say the longest he 89 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: ever stayed at one company is two years. His excuse 90 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: is they got me left up and they can't talk 91 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: to me any kind of way. What wait a minute, 92 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: that's because he knows he got a safety net. That's 93 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: all that is. He know he got hied. That's gonna 94 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: let him come home and sit down whenever he gets 95 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: tired of working. Now, I have told him that he 96 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: needs to get into training in the insurance sales or 97 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: real estate. But he say that ain't his speed. Okay, 98 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: he's some old ass people here. That ain't my speed. 99 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: I can't say that with his slow lads ass, that 100 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 1: ain't my speed? What work ain't your speed? Well? What 101 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: is your speed? Dog? So instead of he has plenty 102 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: of time to dress up in his linen outfits right down, 103 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: keep buying them linen sets. He got him in, Lennen 104 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: shout sets. He got him in. They call him walkers. 105 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: We had a dude work with us with specialized in them. 106 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: He's used to cut the sleeves off when he wore 107 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: but they were leisure jackets. Look like leisure Larry, but 108 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: they linen silky used to make the silk and cream. 109 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: You know you're all away in Michael Irvin had a 110 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: whole collection of a collection, the summer set. That's the 111 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: other reason you know his ass is old? All right? 112 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: Hang that, hang on there, Steve, hold that thought. We'll 113 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty 114 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject keeps 115 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: balling out of control with my money. We'll get back 116 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:57,039 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening to show, all right, Steve, 117 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. He's falling 118 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: out of control with my money. Lady in her early fifties, 119 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: hand a husband. Seven years. He's been doing all types 120 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: of foolish stuff with the money. She runs the money, 121 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: but he just spend it on foolish ideas. And the 122 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 1: most long as he ever kept a job was two years, 123 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: and then he come. He stayed in one company two years, 124 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: and his excuse is always they got me fled up. 125 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: I think they can talk to me in a kind 126 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: of way. And the reason he can do that and 127 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: say that it's because he got a safety that at 128 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: the home, and the safety that is you, ma'am. So 129 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: then he says, you know, then you told him he 130 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: needs to get into ensuring sales of real estate. He 131 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: told you that ain't his speed. See work ain't his speed. 132 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: That's too fast. And then just to show you how 133 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: work ain't his speed, you said he got plenty of 134 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: time to dress up in his linen outfits. Those are 135 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: leisure outfits. Lenning is leisure outfits. They are set. See 136 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: leisure lesia go against speed. So working is that ain't 137 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: his speed? So instead he got plenty of time dress 138 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: up lenning outfits, dry the car I pay for, and 139 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: smoke expensive cigars with his friend, trying to make them 140 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: think he on the level, because obviously his friends is 141 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: balling and he ain't. I've heard him bragged him about 142 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 1: how he got a strong black woman holding him down. Listen, 143 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: everybody needs a strong black woman. I strongly suggest you 144 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: find one. But the problem, sir, is they would love 145 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: to refer to you as that. Also, a woman would 146 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 1: love to say I have a strong black man holding 147 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: me down. I love having a strong black woman holding 148 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: me down. I got one, but I won't her. All 149 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: also know that she has a strong black man holding 150 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: her down. And now that you didn't got off for that, Yeah, 151 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: because your ass got on them cheap ass linen suits. 152 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: That one that extra wrinkle, you know, ain't no silken 153 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: your linen. You just got pure one ply little you 154 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: like Scotch tarlet tissues. One ply they make linen outfits. 155 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 1: That's one ply linen suit. Because I'm not gonna see 156 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: his cheap ass with that little rag lass twenty nine 157 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: dollars straw hat and at eight dollars cigar boy. I 158 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: know him now, Hill went on socks. He got a 159 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: pair of drivers on she got he'd have bought one 160 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,599 Speaker 1: pair of Louis Ataron drivers and he wam with everything, 161 00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: that brown pair with them gold alvs on it. Yeah yeah, 162 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: And then she says, when I look at it, we 163 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: have nothing in common except our faith. How that lady. 164 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: A lot of people leave in God accept our faith. 165 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: He's a great listener. He got to listen. He fit 166 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 1: to ask you for money. He got to sit them here. 167 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: All this you talking about because when you get. Oh yeah, baby, 168 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: that's a slick. Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, baby, I'm 169 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: feeling hey, look a here, let me ask you something. 170 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: You know, I was going to open up or lenen stoke. 171 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: You know, if everybody liked my lenin outfits and so 172 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: then and he's an outstanding lover. Okay, so you sprung? 173 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: That's all? Is he outstanding love? He believe in God? 174 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: You know, he listened good and he can he y'all 175 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: be in that spanking each other. Okay, good, now listen 176 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 1: to this. He's thoughtful and he always goes all out 177 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: on my birthday, our anniversary and holidays. Who don't Who 178 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: don't that ain't but three times a year? Who can't 179 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: go all out three times a year? Every man that's 180 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: got a wife trying to put a smile on her 181 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: face on them days? Right there? So lady, you ain't 182 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: that ain't nothing? You keep giving him plenty where he 183 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: don't need none, but he uses my money to do it. Oh, 184 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: he's going all out. I know me and married women 185 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: that don't work, and they don't mind taking care of 186 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: their wife. But should a woman be put in a 187 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: position with her husband? Obviously, you feeling some kind of 188 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: way about this, because you don't wrote this letter. I 189 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: want him to be a better provider. I told you 190 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: that at the top. That's every woman wants to be 191 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: able to lean on their man. I'm off for supporting 192 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: the black man and letting him find his way. He 193 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: fed what he still lost. Listen to me. If you're 194 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: fifty and still lost, you can't be my project. If 195 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,719 Speaker 1: you're a woman in your fifties and you meet a 196 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: man that's fifty and he still lost, how you gonna 197 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: help him find his way? He'd had fifty years to 198 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: thank us something. He came up with a damn thing. 199 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: But this is too much? Do you think it's time 200 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: to give up on him? Is he gonna change? He 201 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: may ask you a question, what's his oldest moment? Now 202 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: get that I don't tell you I see it. And 203 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: he got that little bitty brim straw hat and stupid 204 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: oh dog. That's him with doing the chief has leving soup. 205 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: When that one pair of drivers and he when he 206 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: be talking to you, he'd be jangling his car key. Yeah, 207 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: I not know him. Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter, 208 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: Harold Bono, Steve Harvey FM on Instagram, she married Harold 209 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: Bono and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand 210 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: now coming up at forty six minutes after the hour. 211 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: What's up with all of these racist Karen's okay, they're everywhere. 212 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: Now we'll talk about it right after this. You're listening 213 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: to The Stave Harvey Morning Show.