WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Piggly Wiggly Problems 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:02.280 Kutbooms. 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:05.400 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:09.200 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:12.520 of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:15.520 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:19.599 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.520 hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:29.440 with Ben Maller starts right now. 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:33.800 In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.680 Maler and Danny g Radio. The final day of the 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:42.760 month of January. We will flip the calendar on Sunday 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.519 to February first, and a week from tomorrow it is 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:49.199 odd Super Bowl sixty. Now try not to talk too 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:52.280 much sports on this podcast. It's the Fifth Hour Parties. 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.440 By the way, Danny not with us again. Hopefully he'll 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.480 be with us tomorrow. I don't know. But anyway, so 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.800 today there's a lot of story to caught my attention. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:04.120 I didn't do the show overnight obviously, because that was 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.920 the day we were done. We did the podcast yesterday. 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:10.640 There's some decent stuff in the NFL that you just 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:15.440 roll your eyes at. For example, Todd munkin the monk Man, 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:19.000 the coach of the Cleveland Browns now who is just 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:23.759 hired this week, who claimed that the Baltimore Ravens tried 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:25.920 to draft Shouldher Sanders, like he was trying to suck 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:27.680 up to Shudhur Sanders. I don't know if you saw 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.720 this or not, tried to suck up to him, and 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:35.000 then he claimed that they tried to draft him. Shudhur 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:38.800 Sanders was drafted in the middle actually closer to the 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.520 end of the draft, Like when were they planning on 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:43.759 drafting him? He was the one hundred and forty fourth 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:48.680 overall pick in the fifth round the draft's only seven rounds, 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.600 Like were they well six rounds? Like what are they 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:55.320 waiting for they got? I mean, it's ridiculous. So I 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.200 saw that that was amusing and I got a lot 0:01:58.200 --> 0:01:59.800 of him. But by the way, this podcast, we're gonna 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:03.360 have not a mensa and hum baby, not a mensa 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.400 and humbaby baby. So I got several emails people upset 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:09.480 that I was not on the show last night, which 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.920 always I'm always surprised by this because it's not that 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:14.960 they wanted to hear the show. They just wanted to 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:19.120 hear a monologue about the Vikings. So based on the feedback, 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:21.960 I'm going to do an emergency mal monologue right now 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:25.000 here on the Fifth Hour podcast because a number of 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.000 my brothers and sisters that live in the great state 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:31.680 of Minnesota in the Greater Minneapolis area were upset because 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:36.680 the Vikings did something that was very bizarre for late January. 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.320 I haven't you heard about it? Or maybe not, perhaps 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.640 you were not paying attention. So the Vikings handed a 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:48.040 box to their GM, Quazy adopha mensa. They said, all right, crazy, here, 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:49.880 I want you to have this box. What's in the box? 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.080 All right? So we opened the box and there was 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:54.280 there was something pink in there and it appeared to 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.440 be a slip. So he was given a pink slip. 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:03.000 That's right. The Vikings they whacked their general manager as 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:06.679 he spent the week scouting college players for the upcoming 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:11.760 NFL Draft. And the coaching carousel is about done, right 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:15.040 about done. The Raiders and the Cardinals were the last 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.519 couple of teams. The Raiders have their choice. They're just 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:20.280 waiting for Seattle to be eliminated in the Super Bowl 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:22.800 in the higher of their coach. But anyway, so the 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:26.080 Vikings got rid of this guy Quasya doo fa men's 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.160 of the GM. He's gone booted, kicked out, showing the 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.720 door however you want to say it. And as the 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:35.680 only one apparently that has my brain plugged in, you 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:39.480 demand a Mallard monologue, And of course I'm still a 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:44.440 little foggy here. I will try to explain what happened 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:46.800 in Minnesota. I have a theory on this. I have 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.360 a theory on what happened with the Minnesota football team. 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.480 So it's a good jumping off point. Let us discuss 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:56.000 the question why. We'll get to the why. Why did 0:03:56.000 --> 0:04:00.800 the Vikings randomly poll as the GM quasy Dolpha mensa. 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.200 And this is just a week before a little over 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.880 a week before the Super Bowl and a long time 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.320 after the season ended, right pretty much a month after 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:13.440 the season ended. So I've got peer one, Pigley Wiggly, 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:17.440 and we'll put those together on the mini malle monologue. 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:22.160 We're gonna make white chocolate Macadamian nut cookies. White chocolate 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:26.160 Macadamian nut cookies. What we're gonna make so a the 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:30.040 answer is why to why? The answer to why, it's 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:33.280 very simple to an Oukham's Razors situation. The simplest answer 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:38.960 is the easiest answer and the right answer, because ownership panicked. 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:43.240 They panicked. Now, I'm not saying that Quzy adolpha mensa. 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.279 The GM there, this guy was doing a good job. 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.039 I'm not saying that. I'm saying the normal protocol is, 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:49.680 if you're gonna get rid of the GM, you do 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.119 it in the regular season. Late in the regular season, 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:56.320 you do it right after the last game. Therefore, you 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:58.400 have your choice of who you want to bring in 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:02.240 as the next A bunch of gms have been hired, 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:04.960 and the music's pretty much done on the game of 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:09.280 musical charity. So the theory is the owner the will 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.479 family there in Minnesota, they panic full stop. And this 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:16.280 is not some kind of mystery novel. You do not 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:19.800 even need to activate the MiB, the Mather Investigative Bureau. 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:25.640 This is fear with a pulse. Minnesota's ownership group has 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:29.520 been diagnosed here with a bad case of sd DS. 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:33.599 All right, what is that? What is sd DS? That 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:38.120 is Sam Donald's derangement syndrome. Is what it is? Sam 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:44.000 Donald arrangementercentro. To rephrase this, the internet was howling at 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:48.560 the moon. The purple people. Eater's crowd turned into a 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:54.200 barber shop quartet, and they were humming the chili's jingle, 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:57.599 I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.880 baby back. That's where they were humming, I want my 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:03.640 baby back, baby back, baby back. Instead of ribs, they 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:08.880 wanted their quarterback and ownership blinked. That's it, period, Stop, 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.039 it's what. Now. Seattle is in the super Bowl. I 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:15.360 did see their supposedly for sale after the Super Bowl. 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.120 So if you want to put a couple of shekels together, 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.680 we can buy the Seahawks. But anyway, how great would 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:23.400 that be? How upset would no Stridinus be and JJ 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.760 and Httin and crying Craig and blind emmet the Seahawk 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:28.919 fan if I just went down and bought the Seahawks. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.839 Of course that could happen. If I went on a 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:35.600 cross country bank robbery spree for the next fifty years, 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.239 I could come up with enough money. Like the Chiefs 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.719 superfan is currently locked up in the Gray Bar Hotel. Anyway, 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.960 so Seattle's in the Super Bowl. Suddenly the Vikings think 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:49.760 they let the one go, the one that got Away's 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:54.240 slip right through their fingers, which is absurd on just 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.920 about every level. It's absurd. Here's why. If you think 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:01.920 Sam Darnold is the reason that the Seattle Seahawks are 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:05.760 in the super Bowl, you don't know ball. You don't 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:12.240 You're incriminating yourself. That is not analysis, That is just superstition. 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:17.200 Have you not been paying attention? That's like lighting candles 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.760 and blaming the furniture, Like, what are you doing? Dumping 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:22.480 the general manage Again, this guy didn't do a great job. Fine, 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:24.520 I get it. He didn't really do well. The draft 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.120 has not been good. But getting rid of the GM 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:32.960 was a sacrifice to the angry mob with the pitchforks 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:36.120 and the torches and all that. Someone had to be 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:40.280 tossed into the volcano, the metaphorical volcano, so the noise 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:45.160 would stop and the football gods. More importantly, these social 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:49.360 media matrix people demand it a pound of flesh, and 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.160 it just happened. The short straw was taken by the 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:56.280 GM there quasi adolpha mensa. He was the guy, the 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.760 GM there who took it. He was convenient haunted by 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:04.600 things that go bumpity bump in the night, like talk radio, 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:09.320 social media, the echo chamber, Watch out for the echo chamber. 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:12.440 Now what about Peer one. I'm not talking about Peer 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:15.360 one imports. I'm talking about Peer one exports. That's the 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:19.480 issue here right out. You go see you later if 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:23.280 you act like an adult on this one. And I 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:25.679 have an unpopular opinion, but I'm gonna stick to my opinion. 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.640 I'm gonna die on this take on this mountain. So 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:33.440 letting Sam Donald walk was not the problem. It was not. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:35.560 If you look at what Sam Donald did this year 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:39.080 in Seattle, I'm reasonable. Don't shake your head, no, no, 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.160 don't shake your head. No. I'm a reasonable observer. Sam 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:46.640 Donald was by Sam Donald, measuring him by Sam Donald. 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:50.199 He was solid. He wasn't spectacular. This was not one 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:54.320 of the great performances. He wasn't as good as Matthew 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:57.520 Stafford or Drake may or someone like that. He wasn't 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:02.080 And to circle back to our friend Roberto the bus 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:06.480 driver using bus driver lingo, Sam Donald was not the 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:10.160 bus driver for the Seahawks. He was a bus writer. 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:12.600 He was the one paying the fare in the back 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.679 of the bus. The numbers are right there. He had 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:19.520 fourteen interceptions, near the bottom of the league second half 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.120 of the season. It was the ninety nine, meaning nine 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:26.199 picks and nine touchdowns. That is a coin flip. And 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:30.120 it's got a drinking problem. And the trend line matters. 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.240 It does matter, Sam Donald. For all these people up 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:36.520 in arms, Oh my god, his touchdowns year to year, 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.760 if you go side by side from Minnesota Seattle, his 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:44.920 touchdowns were down almost thirty percent from his season starting 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:51.520 in the Twin Cities. The interceptions were up. Inconsistency still 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:55.439 ravages Sam Donald. It's like a rash that goes away 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:57.480 and comes back. You know, It's like you have a 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:01.520 gluten allergy and it comes back. This is who he is, 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.400 Sam Donald. Will win a bunch of games for you 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.440 in a month or two and then go out and 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.319 in the Super Bowl a week from him tomorrow, he'll 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.760 ride the vombit comment. That's it, So spare me the 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:18.520 pearl clutching right the GM in this case, Uh, you know, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:24.520 this guy gets absolutely vaporized. Bye bye, Adolpha Mansa get 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.720 out of here. So he gets vaporized. He's out. He's 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.920 the guy to take the hit on this. And I 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:37.360 guess again this happens that that's how this works. Fine, 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:41.199 but it wasn't accountability. It was appeasement. This was made 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:48.640 for appeasement. Ownership heard the cacophony of shaky wisdom, mistook 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:51.880 mistook that for wisdom, that just the noise and all that, 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:58.120 And so they confused the pressure the banging on pots 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:02.719 and pans as legitimate proof. And now they've gotten neither right, 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:07.240 poltergeist peer pressure. When you don't know where the noise 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.760 is coming from, what do you do? You start breaking 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:13.440 your own stuff? Like I think the noise is coming 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.880 from the sofa. Let me pull all the cushions off 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:19.280 the sofa and I'm gonna start fuxing around with it. 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.880 Now I think it's coming from the dishwasher, So why 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.160 don't I take everything out of the dishwasher, all the 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.800 trays and all that, and I'm gonna take my screwdriver 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.960 and kind of go around now, Okay, Page two. So 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.320 the other question on this story, and I'll be brief. 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.640 This is a mini Mallor monologue, and there's some other 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.440 things I want to talk about the question that I 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:43.120 had on my mind. Though, if Sam Donald's departure, we 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.920 can all agree knowledgeable people wasn't the main issue for 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:53.480 the Vikings. What was meaning that that was not the crime. 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:58.200 That's like jaywalking. They took a guy that had been 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:02.640 a big spicy meat ball of Pooh and he played 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.360 one year, played Okay, fell apart at the end. You 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:11.400 let him go. That's fine. The real issue I think 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.400 we can agree is that they put in the grocery 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:21.080 cart afterwards, meaning these are pigly wiggly problems. What is 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.000 a pigly wiggly problem or the Pickli Wiggily is a 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:28.080 great Southern grocery chain which is by far the greatest 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:32.600 named store for shopping for food I've ever come across 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:35.319 in my time on this planet, the Pigley Wiggily. But 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:39.520 I'm getting to a picky wiggly problem is picking groceries. 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.920 That's what this is. That's what all of this is. 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:48.840 The Vikings did not starve. They didn't become improverished because 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:54.120 Sam Donald left. They starved because they bought the wrong meat. 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:58.920 They did. Where's the beef? Well, what't Eddy? This is 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:02.480 shopping malpre practice. That's the issue. And for those of 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.600 you that are a little slow because it's the weekend 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.720 and you're in the back of the room there and 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.760 you're wearing your noise canceling headphones, letting Sam Donold walk 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:15.000 was fine. We would have done the same thing. The 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:20.680 mistake is this. You thought you were buying Kobe beef 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:25.840 and you came home, you took the bag, you took 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.840 the beef out of the bag, and you said, where's 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.160 the beef? And there was no Kobe beef. It was 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:37.120 mince meat pie a Frankenstein food. You wanted Kobe beef, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.760 you got mince meat, the apples, the dried fruit, the 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.400 almond paste, the booze, nothing that actually fills you up, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.880 and nothing you look forward eating. No one's ever woken 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.240 up and said, I really want some of that that 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.440 mince meat today. That would really make me happy. I 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.680 really want that. No one ever says that. And the 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:57.360 butcher who made the call was crazy. This guy at 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:01.319 Dolphamenza the GM there, he looked at the display case 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:05.760 and said, that's the one right there, premium, I'd like that. 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.400 He pointed at it, and then he took it and 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.960 they put some plastic grap on it, and then he 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.800 put it in his back. Wrong label, wrong cut, wrong century, 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:20.600 check the receipt. The Vikings hitched their purple wagon to 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:26.600 JJ McCarthy, a Michigan man, a Michigan man who should 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:30.560 have stayed at Michigan and coached at Michigan. Three years 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.320 into his NFL. I remember first year he redshirted because 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.640 he was hurt. Second year, this past year he played. 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:41.480 And here we are sitting after two years and where 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:45.920 are we at? So year three is upcoming and he 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:50.480 is still the UI guy. Soft center, need refrigeration and 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:54.720 not ready to serve. Will give you a massive case 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:59.960 of die die diarrhea. That is not a franchise quarterback. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.360 That is a dessert you leave out for too long, 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.160 is what that is. And when you take a step back, 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:11.040 it does fit the Vikings mindset. My entire life has 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:14.440 been good enough is good enough? Now I have no 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:15.680 skin in the game. We got a lot of friends 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.720 in Minnesota. You guys have been great. You love the show. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:21.200 I had a wonderful time at the Mermaid when we 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:26.840 got together with Eke and Roseville, Minnesota and hollering James 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.840 and all the al all the all the guys and 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:32.960 those where all the good delis are all you guys 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:36.400 that showed. It was wonderful. And again thanks to our 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:40.720 friend spin Cycle Regina for making that happen. So the 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:45.240 Vikings franchises like, well, they're never really that bad. They're 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:49.400 just never consistently that good. It's not excellence, it's not domination. 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:55.960 It's just adequate. It's if the government was a football team, 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:59.200 they'd be the Minnesota Vikings. It's government work football. It 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:04.920 meets the minimal's standard. It passes inspection. And I go 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.440 back to that word adequate because I feel like that's 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.600 that's the word, you know. Don't go above and beyond 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:16.920 the call of duty. Just do the bare minimum. Nothing inspiring, 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.760 nothing bold, just a shrug with shoulder pads. And it 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:25.520 is a cultural thing, right the Twin Cities. They love 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.720 play Minnesota and Ice. Right, Minnesota and Ice. One of 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:33.080 the most amazing things I've be into was it's actually 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:37.040 in Vegas, but it was four in the morning during 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:41.840 the NFL regular season, and the in the Morning show 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:47.280 from Kfan was there broadcasting at four in the morning, 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.160 or I think they started then, might have been earlier. 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.760 So I walk in. They invited me to come hang 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:57.960 out with them. I walk in and it was insane. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.640 It was bonkers. There's meat, sauce and all the boys 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.280 on the stage and there were hundreds of people at 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.840 four in the morning. All Minnesotans who were there to 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:11.199 watch the morning show was it was great. So it 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.760 was very nice. Right, you don't want to offend anyone, 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.280 you know, swing too hard. If you don't swing too hard, 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.880 you don't miss big. You don't just line up and 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.160 you clap a little bit and hope the other team 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.960 screws up first. And that's that and just how you 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:31.399 end up with a marinate of mediocrity. But you have optimism. 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:35.560 So the foundation was already cracked, and you don't again, 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:37.720 you don't blame the grocery store for what you cook. 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.800 You blame the person that did the shopping and cook 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:45.119 the meal. And right now the kitchen smells smells like leftovers, 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.720 I would say. So the kill shot would be the 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.159 story that came out this week, which was likely leaked 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.960 more likely than not by a dosa mensa dopha mensa. 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:57.280 The GM there the former GM that the Vikings were 0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:04.639 looking at the quarterback duo of Anthony Richardson and Mac Jones, 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.280 which is like, well, wait a minute, what do you 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:07.960 do We have our guy, you said he was our guy. 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:08.480 What are you doing? 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:14.280 Meanwhile turning the page, Hum baby humbaby now I am 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.679 about to do something on this fifth hour podcast in 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.880 Polite Society that earns you side eye. 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:23.439 And a. 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:32.280 Sigh and a question. Who hurts you? Right? Who hurts you? 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.360 You want to take a guess what I'm talking about here. 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.400 It's a bit of a riddle. I see Alf knows. 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.000 Alf knows when I say a homebaby, Alf knows right away. 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:41.960 I don't know about Ferg Dog. I don't know about 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:48.080 Ferg Dog. Not sure about him. So reveal answers, Reveal answers. 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:56.720 I am standing, and I'm clapping for lawyers who goofed. 0:18:57.240 --> 0:18:58.920 I've got to know now, I'm not talking about these 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.960 billboard lawyers. I would venture I guess that there is 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:07.480 no one, no one who lives in a city that 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:10.399 has more billboard lawyers than Los Angeles. I'm just pointing 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:12.960 that out. So, but I am clapping for these attorneys. 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:15.919 And I know lawyers are usually the people that you 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.680 tolerate the way you tolerate a long rain delay when 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:21.840 you're at a baseball game. It's annoying, it's inevitable because 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.919 you looked at the weather app and somehow it's still 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:27.159 expensive because you're buying food and all that. But on 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:30.760 this one. I want to give these these lawyers the 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.760 full Rocky Balboa montage, and let me explain why if 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:39.000 the allegations are true, the San Francisco Giants, that's a 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:42.280 baseball team, not a good one, did not just sell tickets. 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:46.760 They sold the illusion of a price and then hit 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:50.800 fans with the old razzle dazzle at the finish line. 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:53.680 So if you know what I'm talking about, you might, 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:56.199 I don't know, maybe not, maybe not. So I saw this, 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:57.720 so I was going to do a monologue about it 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:00.560 during the week, and I didn't get to it because 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:02.239 of some other football stuff, and I figured we had 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:03.639 a little time here on a Saturdays, so I did 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.960 want to talk about it. It's a passionate topic of 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:11.679 conversation for me, So I will spare you all of 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:16.800 the nitty gritty, right I will just I understand when 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:18.800 when when you hear me say, hey, I like you 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:23.639 know these these lawyers, the reason is because they're fighting 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:28.080 back against the up charging everyone. As far as the 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.679 everyone does it thing, which some people everyone's doing it, 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:33.359 don't care. That's not a defense, by the way, that 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:38.800 is a confession. With better poster. It's like the cheating assstros. 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:41.120 I just call them assholes. We're on the podcast. They're 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:45.959 cheating assholes from Houston, right. So those guys that their 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:48.480 fan base, if you want to call them that. They're like, 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.280 oh no, I've in the terrible and all those guys 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.560 are like, oh yeah, yeah, Well everyone was doing it. 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.639 Everyone was doing it. Okay. Well again, it's like getting 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:58.120 pulled over for speeding and say, well, the officers, how 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:00.800 fast were you going? Well, officer, I was going ninety 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:02.760 nine miles. Well, you know the speed limit here is 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:04.600 like sixty five. You can't go ninety nine. Well I 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:07.200 know that, sir, but I was actually going the flow 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:09.679 of traffic. Everyone was going to the same speed. So 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:11.680 what are you doing? But they still give you a ticket, 0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:14.159 They give you an expensive ticket. But here's the basic 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:18.640 setup of this skullduggery, and it's a proposed class action suit. 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:23.600 It's in federal court that says the giants advertised one 0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:30.399 price and then presto abreka dabra checkout. They added extra 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:37.720 convenience and processing fees that were not disclosed up front, 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:40.600 and what the lawsuit calls junk fees because that's what 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:43.920 they are. If this is true, allegedly inflating totals for 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:47.480 hundreds of thousands of people that bought tickets to watch 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:51.920 that bad baseball team. Now, the person named the plaintiff 0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:55.040 will call him Wand because that's his name. He claims 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:57.400 that he bought two tickets that were advertised for ten 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:01.720 dollars each, then watched the toll climb to twenty nine 0:22:01.920 --> 0:22:05.760 dollars after the fees all of a sudden appeared at checkout. 0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:09.000 That is not convenience in my world. That is what's 0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:14.520 known as a shakedown with a digital receipt. Congratulations, and 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:20.399 the piece demissons. The masterpiece is because the Internet is 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:24.320 basically a mall kiosk. That's all it is, right, the Internet. 0:22:24.680 --> 0:22:26.719 They want you to buy stuff or watch porn, that's it. 0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:29.840 And so there's a countdown clock on here. The suit 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:33.440 alleges that this guy Wan was he felt pressure by 0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:38.880 a timer, limiting the time to review details, enter payment 0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:42.960 info and agree to terms. The classic but wait, there's 0:22:43.040 --> 0:22:48.040 more energy, except instead of a second set of steak knives, 0:22:48.320 --> 0:22:52.880 you get a third line item labeled because we can sucker, 0:22:53.600 --> 0:22:57.600 get that dumb money. Get that dumb money. Baby, you 0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.159 gotta do it all right, So get that dumb money anyway. 0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:05.960 So this is where my inner malar cynicism pops up. 0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:08.520 I put on the trench code, I hold the decoder ring. 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:13.880 The whole trick is psychological. Now I've actually studied this 0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:18.119 over the years. I'm fascinated by the things that people 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:22.520 do in business to sell products, and people end up 0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:25.760 buying things. They think it's their own decision, but they're 0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:30.680 actually swayed. It's fascinating. When I worked at WEI briefly 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:33.120 in Boston, I did a couple of years fill in 0:23:34.040 --> 0:23:38.000 nighttime shows at WI. While working at Fox Sports Radio. 0:23:38.480 --> 0:23:40.639 One of the other talk show hosts also had a 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:44.920 full time job. He was a lollipop salesman. Doesn't that 0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:48.439 sound like it's out of a nineteen nineties comedy? A 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:51.240 guy traveling around as a lollipop salesman. And so I 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:53.359 talked to him a couple of times about this, and 0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:56.720 he explained to me that the lollipop game, the way 0:23:56.760 --> 0:24:00.639 that it works, is that most of the people that 0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:04.680 buy lollipops didn't want to buy lollipops. They had no intention. 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:08.080 They went into Target or Walmart or wherever. They didn't 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:15.160 plan on getting any lollipops. However, it is strategic placement 0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:18.159 and they pay money. Was telling me, like, yeah, we've 0:24:18.320 --> 0:24:20.720 deals with all these big box stores and the grocery 0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:24.240 chains like Kroger, and we put the lollipops. We've done 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.120