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Speaker 1: Welcome to Season two of The Good Stuff. I'm Ashley Shick,

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Speaker 1: and I'm joined by my husband and co host, Jacob Shick,

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Speaker 1: a third generation combat marine and CEO of One Tribe Foundation.

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Speaker 2: Ashley also comes from a family rich in military history,

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Speaker 2: and we've dedicated our lives to One Tribe's mission serving veterans,

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Speaker 2: first responders, and their families. We're coming to you from Dallas,

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Speaker 2: so welcome to Texas.

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Speaker 1: And joining us all season long from Los Angeles, California

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Speaker 1: is our West Coast long haired friend and producer of

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Speaker 1: The Good Stuff, Nick Cassolini.

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Speaker 3: Today I get to tag along with Jake and Ashley

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Speaker 3: as we attend the One Tribe Resilience Meeting.

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Speaker 1: Peer to peer support groups is a significant part of

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Speaker 1: what we do at One Tribe Foundation.

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Speaker 2: And I could promise you the Resilience Meeting is one

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Speaker 2: of a kind.

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Speaker 3: Just a quick heads up, This show can explore some

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Speaker 3: heavy subject matter, including talks of suicide, so listener discretion

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Speaker 3: is advised.

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Speaker 1: We couldn't be happier you're here again.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Good Stuff.

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Speaker 4: Okay, my name is Stu and I'm the leader of

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Speaker 4: the Resilience Meeting here at One Tribe I was approached

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Speaker 4: by Jacob with an idea that he wanted to start

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Speaker 4: a meeting for veterans and first responders and really anybody

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Speaker 4: that needed it, families of those people, and he wanted

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Speaker 4: me to lead it. Jacob and I know each other well,

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Speaker 4: and he knows about my history and that I spend

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Speaker 4: a great deal of my time trying to help others.

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Speaker 4: And my response to him was when you want to start?

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Speaker 4: And he said he wasn't sure, and I said, well,

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Speaker 4: how about October the fifth, which was like a week away,

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Speaker 4: and he goes, no, I think we need two weeks.

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Speaker 4: So we started on October the twelfth, and I did

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Speaker 4: ask him, well, what is it you want me to do,

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Speaker 4: and he said, well, you're the leader. I want you

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Speaker 4: to do whatever you do. So it's really been my

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Speaker 4: ball to run with. And we started on October the

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Speaker 4: twelfth with six people in attendance, and our roster currently

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Speaker 4: has seventeen people on it. So we like to think

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Speaker 4: that we're having the occasional heartening success.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so today is Wednesday, so we have the Resilience

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Speaker 1: Meeting at One Trip Foundation, which is a weekly meeting

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Speaker 1: that we host and have been now for about six months.

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Speaker 1: It's honestly part of our weekly routine now. It's something

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Speaker 1: that Jake and I make every effort to join in on,

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Speaker 1: whether it be in person or if we're out of town,

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Speaker 1: we even zoom in. It's a really special group. It's

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Speaker 1: a really special meeting and gathering of people that has

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Speaker 1: become very important to us.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do something similar towards evolved into the

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Speaker 2: Resilience Meeting for years now, and I just never knew

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Speaker 2: what that looked like, or what the stipulations were, what

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Speaker 2: the legalities of it were. So I sat down with Stu,

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Speaker 2: whose longtime friend of mine is actually thirty two plus

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Speaker 2: years sober, and I said, Hey, I want to do

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Speaker 2: this meeting at the office and I want you to

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Speaker 2: run it. And he said, what's that look like? And

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Speaker 2: I said, I have no idea for.

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Speaker 4: My own personal self. There was a little bit of intimidation.

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Speaker 4: I had to kind of get to know the room.

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Speaker 4: And I'm not a veteran and I support veterans wholeheartedly.

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Speaker 4: We do that a lot at my job and other

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Speaker 4: things we do. But it was a little intimidating to

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Speaker 4: come in here, but to bring the topics and come

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Speaker 4: from the heart with that every week and see the

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Speaker 4: open mindedness and the willingness to be vulnerable by these

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Speaker 4: men that have given us all. That was refreshing and

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Speaker 4: heart and heartening, and I just thought, hey, man, you

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Speaker 4: know we're clicking.

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Speaker 2: The reason that we arrived at its being called the

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Speaker 2: Resilience Meeting was because, like it was the recovery meeting,

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Speaker 2: but then I feel like it's not all about recovery.

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Speaker 2: And I asked a couple of people, like, how do

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Speaker 2: you feel before you get there and then have the

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Speaker 2: meeting and then when you leave, And the most common

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Speaker 2: word that was brought up was I definitely feel more

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Speaker 2: resilient when I leave than when I showed up. And

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Speaker 2: so I was like, well, then we should just call

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Speaker 2: it the Resilience Meeting.

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Speaker 1: I go that, I certainly feel more resilient afterwards, but

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Speaker 1: I also feel lighter if you have something on your heart,

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Speaker 1: which many times you know, we don't have anything on

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Speaker 1: our heart. We just go and we're in that environment

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Speaker 1: with like people who are being open, and you never

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Speaker 1: know what someone's battling from day to day, and so

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Speaker 1: there are days that we're going to be just fine

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Speaker 1: that other people are really struggling and then vice versa,

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Speaker 1: and so it's something I look forward to every week now.

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Speaker 3: So on a daylight today, the meeting's going to start.

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Speaker 3: How are you feeling in the moment.

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Speaker 4: I'm excited. I've been doing other meetings for a long

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Speaker 4: time and this is actually a refreshing change for me.

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Speaker 3: Why what makes it different?

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Speaker 4: It's a different crowd and there's really not a lot

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Speaker 4: of structure in it. There's a lot of crosstalk and

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Speaker 4: a lot of this and that, some profanity, and the

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Speaker 4: other spiritual meetings that I go to, we don't do that.

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Speaker 4: So it's been pretty refreshing. And every Wednesday I'm actually

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Speaker 4: excited and I really can't wait to get here today.

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Speaker 3: Specifically, are you coming in with certain specific things that

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Speaker 3: are on your mind that are weighing heavy on your

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Speaker 3: heart or are you sort of an open book today.

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Speaker 4: I'm kind of concentrating on what I'm going to deliver

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Speaker 4: tonight to start the meeting off. I do think that

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Speaker 4: that's important. You know, if you don't have a good lead,

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Speaker 4: in my experiences, you might not have a very good meeting.

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Speaker 4: So I take that very seriously. I'm a little extra

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Speaker 4: excited today because I've actually got a guy that's supposed

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Speaker 4: to come for the first time tonight that I'm invited.

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Speaker 3: Amazing.

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Speaker 4: I'm hoping he shows up.

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Speaker 3: So is this world of therapy and sort of like

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Speaker 3: getting together and being open and vulnerable and loving each

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Speaker 3: other for the greater good and to help heal yourselves?

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Speaker 3: That is that a culture you guys were raised in,

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Speaker 3: Like you've embraced it, you know, very deeply in this

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Speaker 3: part of your life. But has that always been there

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Speaker 3: for you guys?

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Speaker 2: It's just funny that you even asked that question.

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Speaker 3: Answer to that, because it's like.

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Speaker 2: In the South, and I don't think and I believe

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Speaker 2: it's not even a region thing. I think it's an

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Speaker 2: everywhere thing. Sure, especially yeah, you know forties fifties, Like

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Speaker 2: it's we didn't you didn't do this stuff. If this

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Speaker 2: was like a significant faux pas, if you tried bringing

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Speaker 2: this stuff up and it's so dumb it because it's

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Speaker 2: so needed.

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Speaker 1: It is certainly an environment that we are working very

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Speaker 1: hard to create for the boys though, like we we

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Speaker 1: definitely have very candid, open conversations with them that some

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Speaker 1: might think we're having with them too young or too soon,

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Speaker 1: but we just we don't feel that way. Like Jake says,

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Speaker 1: all the time, you know they're going to learn on

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Speaker 1: society's terms or our terms. So we have very open,

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Speaker 1: candid conversations with the boys and give them the outlet

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Speaker 1: to be able to get things off their chest and

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Speaker 1: talk it out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So, at what point in your life did you guys

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Speaker 3: start to embrace the importance of these kind of meeting.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can answer that fairly easily. And it

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Speaker 2: was the closer I got to inviting my own death,

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Speaker 2: it was like, all right, it's definitely at an unhealthy level.

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Speaker 3: So this was after you got out of the hospital,

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Speaker 3: after the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, I didn't have shit to say to

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Speaker 2: a therapist, psychologist or a psychiatrist in the hospital. I

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Speaker 2: have nothing to say because I was still on that

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Speaker 2: very diluted mindset that you know, I'm not weak, I

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Speaker 2: don't need to speak to you. I have nothing to

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Speaker 2: say to you. And it's it's unfortunate, very unfortunate mindset

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Speaker 2: because they're not there to label you as weak or

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Speaker 2: to write down like okay, Jacob chick weak like that's

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Speaker 2: it's so ridiculous. It's ridiculous because we're just avoiding the unavoidable,

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Speaker 2: which is like, Okay, we have shit deep down in

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Speaker 2: our soul tank that we haven't exercised, and we're going

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Speaker 2: to be let's just try and float through life acting

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Speaker 2: like that thing never happened or whatever, and it's not

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Speaker 2: going anywhere.

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Speaker 3: It's like, how long are you going to do that?

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Speaker 3: What is your name?

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Speaker 5: My name is Amanda Martinez.

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Speaker 3: Will you tell me about your military service?

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Speaker 5: Yes? So I was in the Air Force for twenty

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Speaker 5: years and twenty eight days and I just retired in

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Speaker 5: September of last year.

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Speaker 3: And how are you feeling today? Before showing up to

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Speaker 3: the resilience meeting.

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Speaker 5: Man, my life has been a whirlwind. I just hit

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Speaker 5: one year of being back in the States. I spent

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Speaker 5: almost thirteen years overseas and I've been back in Dallas

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Speaker 5: about a year, and it's been really hard just trying

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Speaker 5: to navigate who I am post military, and then also

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Speaker 5: like being around my family that I've been gone from

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Speaker 5: for twenty years. You know, I'd come home and see

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Speaker 5: him on leave for ten days, and I'm an alcoholic,

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Speaker 5: so I spent all of those days drunk here on leave,

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Speaker 5: So kind of sitting back and looking at all the

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Speaker 5: times I was home and trying to navigate my life. Now,

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Speaker 5: I think there's a lot of shame that comes with

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Speaker 5: how I behaved while I was home on leave and

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Speaker 5: how my siblings remember me and my family remembers me.

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Speaker 5: So I've really just been struggling. Today. I got up

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Speaker 5: and I had a doctor's appointment, and I didn't really

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Speaker 5: want to go, but I went anyways. And I went

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Speaker 5: home and sat down for about an hour before I

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Speaker 5: came here and just kind of thought about things. I

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Speaker 5: missed last week's meeting because I was out of town,

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Speaker 5: and I kne that I needed to come today, especially

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Speaker 5: being in person. The first meeting I attended on zoom

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Speaker 5: and I was in a really low, low place. I

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Speaker 5: didn't even talk, I didn't turn my camera on. The

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Speaker 5: following week, I came in and I just felt normal again.

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Speaker 5: So long that all of that long answer to say

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Speaker 5: that I was not feeling so good today before I

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Speaker 5: came here, All right right on, lets get.

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Speaker 4: Pretty Look, I Father, we just thank you for this

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Speaker 4: day and for bringing us together tonight in fellowship and

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Speaker 4: in your spirit, and just ask that you fill us

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Speaker 4: up and let our hearts and minds and to be honest,

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Speaker 4: open and willing and to be vulnerable and just share

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Speaker 4: what needs to be shared and hear what needs to

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Speaker 4: be heard so that we could help each other and

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Speaker 4: do all things in you am in amen, I'll use

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Speaker 4: z omors have the topic topic of this discussion.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure, I said a third boy.

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Speaker 3: All right, okay, talk to me about this lead.

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Speaker 4: Well, I got about two hundred of them to choose from,

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Speaker 4: and I start going through on Wednesday afternoon about three o'clock. Yep,

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Speaker 4: I don't prepare too early, and I get prayed up.

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Speaker 4: MA ask God for that intuitive thought. Yeah, And a

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Speaker 4: lot of times that's how I pick. And I mean,

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Speaker 4: you know, our topic tonight is basically what are you

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Speaker 4: doing for others? We're going to take off with our reading.

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Speaker 4: Life's most persistent and urgent question is what are you

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Speaker 4: doing for others? That's by doctor Martin Luther King. For

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Speaker 4: most of my life, there has always been a question

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Speaker 4: that continually swirls around in my mind, and that is

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Speaker 4: how am I doing? And although some days are better

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Speaker 4: than others, my answer ninety nine percent of the time

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Speaker 4: ranges from just terrible to it sure could be a

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Speaker 4: lot better. My mentor so it's really weird.

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Speaker 5: I reached out, reached out to Ashley about a month ago,

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Speaker 5: and it wasn't for myself. It was for somebody else.

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Speaker 5: And you know, we had a conversation on the phone

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Speaker 5: and we hung up. She said, Hey, you know, don't

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Speaker 5: forget on Tuesday nights we have this meeting. On Wednesday

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Speaker 5: nights we have this meeting. And she said, I'll shoot you.

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Speaker 5: I want to say it was a Tuesday and she said,

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Speaker 5: I'll shoot you the link if you want to just

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Speaker 5: as head on zoom And I don't think it was

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Speaker 5: for me initially. You know, I wasn't asking about myself,

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Speaker 5: and I thought, I'm just going to zoom in and

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Speaker 5: see what it's about.

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Speaker 4: That the only way to deal with this problem is

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Speaker 4: to eliminate the me question and replace it with how

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Speaker 4: are you doing? Amazingly, I have found that I cannot

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Speaker 4: be thinking of me and you at the same time.

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Speaker 4: Doctor King's message has helped me deal with the disorder

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Speaker 4: of ego, which has hindered me most of my life.

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Speaker 4: When I am in service to others, I experience a

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Speaker 4: fresh feeling in my life. There is something about doing

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Speaker 4: for others that touches my soul and makes me feel

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Speaker 4: more closely aligned with my God. And perhaps it is

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Speaker 4: that simple. When we are helping God's kids for funding,

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Speaker 4: for free, we feel closer to God. When we feel

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Speaker 4: closer to God, the world becomes a loving and benevolent place.

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Speaker 4: If only we all thought of others first instead of ourselves,

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Speaker 4: what a glorious world this would be. It was the

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Speaker 4: overriding message from Doctor King in this last quarter of

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Speaker 4: my life. It is my hope to change the nagging

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Speaker 4: question in my mind from how am I doing? To

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Speaker 4: how are you doing? In the prayer Father God and

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Speaker 4: the Spirit of Saint Francis.

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Speaker 2: The secret of service is being able to get comfortable

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Speaker 2: being uncomfortable, understanding that it's always going to be inconvenient.

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Speaker 2: And so I think that helping others I love. He

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Speaker 2: uh refers to all of us as God's kids, and

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Speaker 2: I love that because that doesn't that doesn't decipher between

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Speaker 2: a raised color, creed, religion, socioeconomic sense. We're all God's kids.

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Speaker 2: It's all encompassing, you know. And I think if we

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Speaker 2: could all have that view, and by we I mean

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Speaker 2: society in general, humankind, I mean by default, there would

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Speaker 2: probably be a lot less bullshit.

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Speaker 3: Gut check, because I almost never know how I am

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Speaker 3: until someone asks me how are you? And that starts

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Speaker 3: to you get to really answer that question, you know,

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Speaker 3: and then of course you have the people in your life.

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Speaker 3: I think of my brother.

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Speaker 4: Immediately when he says, how are you doing?

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna answer, and I Am going to think about

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Speaker 3: me for a second, because I know he cares, you know,

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Speaker 3: and I know he wants to know, and I'm able

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Speaker 3: to decipher how I am because of who he is

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Speaker 3: and how he asked that question. So asking how are

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Speaker 3: you to someone is such a gift to that person,

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Speaker 3: because I feel it when someone asks it to me.

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Speaker 3: And this idea of being in service to each other,

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Speaker 3: it's like, in a lot of ways, it's the greatest

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Speaker 3: risk we could all take because we all have to

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Speaker 3: trust that we're also doing it.

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Speaker 5: I feel that when we're all in there together, there's

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Speaker 5: no judgment, there's no shaming of each other of what

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Speaker 5: we're talking about or what we've been through. I feel

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Speaker 5: like everyone kind of has been through something similar. It's

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Speaker 5: always good to come in here, you know. Everybody's always

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Speaker 5: so smiling and so cheery, and it's that feeling that

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Speaker 5: I had when I was in the military. You know,

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Speaker 5: you'd come in and even though people had their stuff

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Speaker 5: going on, you know, everybody was excited to see you

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Speaker 5: because that's part of your family. That's they know you,

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Speaker 5: they know what you've been through. So it's just it

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Speaker 5: feels so good to be around people that know what

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Speaker 5: I've been through and are just happy. And it feels

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Speaker 5: good to be able to take everybody's pieces of knowledge.

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Speaker 5: I write them down on my phone real quick, and

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Speaker 5: you know, when I'm having a moment, I'll open up

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Speaker 5: my phone and go back through and kind of try

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Speaker 5: to pick myself up again. You know, just the the

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Speaker 5: feeling of having people that are feeling the same kind

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Speaker 5: of way you are, and kind of just taking off

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Speaker 5: that mask and that armor that we wear all day

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Speaker 5: long to kind of push through the day.

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Speaker 1: So two things just too. I'm not going to promise

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Speaker 1: that they're going to be quick. If it weren't for

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Speaker 1: that question, how are you doing, I wouldn't be here

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Speaker 1: tonight because six and a half years ago I sat

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Speaker 1: across from a good friend at the airport who asked

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Speaker 1: me that question, and I lied to his face and

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Speaker 1: told him how I was just fine. When in reality,

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Speaker 1: I was not just fine, to which he replied, the

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Speaker 1: next time I ask you a question, don't lie to

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Speaker 1: my face. I'm going to ask you again, how are

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Speaker 1: you doing? So I'm married him looking back when you

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Speaker 1: asked that question, like where did the start for you?

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Speaker 1: For me, it was really when Jake and I got together.

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Speaker 1: You know, we've known each other almost eleven years. But

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Speaker 1: he and I unpacked stuff on the regular, you know,

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Speaker 1: and do the deep dives on the regular. That probably

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Speaker 1: a lot stems from us having a friendship before we,

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Speaker 1: you know, became a relationship. But I think it is

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Speaker 1: important to get those other perspectives and to do those

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Speaker 1: deep dives, and then the ability to do it with

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Speaker 1: other people, and then when you are feeling strong, you're

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Speaker 1: able to be there for those that you know are

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Speaker 1: feeling weak in those moments, even for the members of

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Speaker 1: the tribe that attend this meeting as well, like I've

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Speaker 1: gotten to know them better, you know, and some of

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Speaker 1: the things that, oh, okay, that makes sense that maybe

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Speaker 1: that's why they react to X Y Z a certain way,

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Speaker 1: And so all boats rise when you have a little

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Speaker 1: more understanding and perspective on other individuals. But it gives

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Speaker 1: you more perspective on yourself as well, because it's those precious,

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Speaker 1: fleeting moments that really paint the picture of our life.

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Speaker 3: So that's all I have here.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, You're welcome.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Is there anything else that you

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Speaker 3: want to say. You can say anything you want.

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Speaker 5: I just want to say thanks to one tribe. If

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Speaker 5: it weren't for them, I probably would not be sober. Still,

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Speaker 5: I'm almost I'm.

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Speaker 3: At twenty months, amazing, almost there, amazing, amazing. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 3: was really really really good to meet you.

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Speaker 5: Thank you as well.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Later in the episode, I'm able to follow up with

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Speaker 3: the manday again, but first we'll wrap it up with

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Speaker 3: Stu and then reflect with Jake and Ashley about the meeting.

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Speaker 3: We have to take a quick break, but stick around

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Speaker 3: and we'll be right back. Welcome back. Before I sit

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Speaker 3: down with Jake and Ashley again, let's check back in

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Speaker 3: with Stu. How do you feel after the meeting? What's

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Speaker 3: the afterglow like for Stu.

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Speaker 4: That's a very appropriate term to that, because I have

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Speaker 4: a lot of afterglow.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh.

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Speaker 4: I feel like God was in the middle of the room,

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Speaker 4: that he was directing the sharing It flowed without any

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Speaker 4: body having any real problems saying what you know. There

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Speaker 4: wasn't any like hesitations or people were vulnerable. People were passionate, focused,

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Speaker 4: and passionate about what was going on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was a nice little side step that

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Speaker 4: I got to found out that the well how are

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Speaker 4: you doing? Was part of Jacob and Ashley's beginnings. Beautiful

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Speaker 4: and I just felt like it was a real opportunity

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Speaker 4: tonight to see God working in all our lives. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know, and that's what I feel from the room.

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Speaker 4: It's and I call it the magic. You know. I

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Speaker 4: haven't experienced it here, but in my other things that

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Speaker 4: I do. I've been doing it a long time. And

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Speaker 4: there's nights when I don't want to go, but I'm

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Speaker 4: just trained that I go anyway, and then I get

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Speaker 4: there and I start feeling better, and then the meeting

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Speaker 4: happens that I'm on fire, and then the meeting's over

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Speaker 4: and the last thing I want to do is go

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Speaker 4: home because I want to keep it happening. And that's

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Speaker 4: what tonight feels like that we just we just had

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Speaker 4: a really solid, profound God Center meeting tonight. We had

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Speaker 4: four first timers there tonight, yeah, you and three others.

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Speaker 4: And to me, that's the whole theme that I live

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Speaker 4: my life by trying to help others and hopefully they'll

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Speaker 4: go help somebody. And the unofficial theme in that room,

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Speaker 4: and we don't say it every week, but the guys

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Speaker 4: know it is trying to bring somebody with you next week,

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Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, And we got definitely got to see

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Speaker 4: that tonight that there were four people there for the

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Speaker 4: first time.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Stiff, you bet, you bet. I feel so

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Speaker 3: good after that meeting. That was crazy. It was really

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Speaker 3: special to show up to a place where I was,

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Speaker 3: you know, feeling like I was in a good mood.

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Speaker 3: And in general, I've been working on a lot of

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Speaker 3: internal issues for myself and getting my spirit and mind

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Speaker 3: and soul right and getting some of my thoughts in order.

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Speaker 3: And I've been doing a lot of hard work and

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Speaker 3: feeling the benefits of that. So I would like if

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Speaker 3: someone were to ask me, how are you doing before

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Speaker 3: that meeting, I think I could honestly talk about how

401
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Speaker 3: I'm doing pretty good, you know, and I'm really happy

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Speaker 3: with some of the work I've been doing and all that,

403
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Speaker 3: and still the act of showing up I was immediately moved.

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Speaker 3: As soon as we held hands to start doing the prayer,

405
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Speaker 3: I was like immediately moved just being around people, feeling

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Speaker 3: the energy of just coming together to take care of

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Speaker 3: each other and take care of ourselves. It was just

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Speaker 3: it was my heart immediately opened up. I was immediately tender,

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Speaker 3: and it was just so funny just happening to the

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Speaker 3: drop of the dime, you know, because beforehand we're eating

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Speaker 3: pizza and people are getting in zoom.

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Speaker 6: It's like I can't hear it, and you know, it's

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Speaker 6: like we're late, and you know, everyone's sort of like

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Speaker 6: doing the meeting thing and then someone's maybe talking too

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Speaker 6: long before the meeting. They need to stop so they

416
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Speaker 6: can get the things started, and you know, and it's

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Speaker 6: just like it goes from like slightly whatever sort of

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Speaker 6: awkward perhaps to just like immediately emotionally open and present

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Speaker 6: and feeling tender and open hearted. And then I basically

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Speaker 6: that feeling hasn't left. It's still in my heart. I

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Speaker 6: still feel moved. It's so important to remember that, you

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Speaker 6: know that even if you don't feel like you need

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Speaker 6: the thing, it's still rewarding.

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Speaker 1: Every time you said it best you go from chaos

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Speaker 1: to full stop, time to be present, time to sit

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Speaker 1: with this, and we never know what the subject matter

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Speaker 1: is going to be, and it never loses the joking,

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Speaker 1: it never loses the banter, it never loses I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're always wanting to sit there and mess with each other.

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Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, we know it's

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Speaker 1: all coming out of it from a place of love,

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Speaker 1: and we're all there to help each other grow and

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Speaker 1: be introspective and advance in this thing we call life.

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Speaker 2: What really hit me tonight in that meeting was that,

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Speaker 2: quite candidly, I hate that shit, how are you doing?

436
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Speaker 2: How Like because you're I found myself in a hurry

437
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Speaker 2: way too much, way too much to where I almost

438
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Speaker 2: by default remove that element of authenticity and genuine that

439
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 2: I pride myself on too with other human beings. You know,

440
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 2: like when I go to the store to get the milk,

441
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 2: whatever I want to go to the tour get then

442
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: we'll get back. But there's so many blessings throughout the

443
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 2: day that God places before us, and being in that

444
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: hurry state to get the thing done, to move on

445
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: to the next thing, I think that we completely inadvertently

446
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: put blinders on to said blessings.

447
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 4: For sure.

448
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 3: We're surrounded by miracles and we don't even see them, right,

449
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 3: That's what hit me.

450
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: And I feel like the one thing that stood out

451
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: to me with just to follow you saying that is

452
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: I get to sit in traffic. Yeah, I have to.

453
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 3: I get to speaking of stuck in traffic, you know,

454
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 3: because I like, I kind of like got choked up

455
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 3: a little bit talking and I was really moved, you know.

456
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 3: But Ashley and I were playing some emotional music on

457
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 3: the way home, stuck in traffic, talk about a blessing.

458
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 4: Man.

459
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 3: Oh, I was just like, I'm crying. I played it,

460
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 3: listening to some Dan Reader songs that I've listened to

461
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 3: a million times, and I was just.

462
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 5: Like, it's so beautiful.

463
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 3: I was just like so moved, you know, it's just

464
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 3: a great It's just such a good way to feel

465
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 3: to feel, and just like whatever moves you put yourself

466
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 3: in its path.

467
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 2: And you know, dude, that's a testament to the work

468
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 2: you've been doing, right, because you're probably probably by nature

469
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: that's more true to who your true self is.

470
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, my true self is an open hearted

471
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: individual that is prone to see the beauty in something

472
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 3: so deeply that I am moved though your tears. Yeah yeah, yeah.

473
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 2: Seeing you do that and have that emotional experience, I

474
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: was it. Maybe I was proud of you, and I'm

475
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: super super proud of you because I was like, he

476
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 2: couldn't possibly be more here right now?

477
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 3: Yep, you were all in Well. This was a really

478
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 3: cool experience for me also because I've gotten to know

479
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 3: a lot of people that One Tribe Foundation has helped,

480
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 3: and I've gotten to know a lot of people that

481
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 3: work at One Tribe Foundation, and of course we all

482
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 3: have our day to day battles, but tonight was one

483
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 3: of the first opportunities I've had to meet people that

484
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 3: are sort of in the middle of a struggle and

485
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 3: see them. One tribed is that a saying I got

486
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 3: One Tribe tonight, and I got to kind of see

487
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 3: that firsthand. And I won't go into the details of

488
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 3: the share because.

489
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 2: Because you shouldn't, because I shouldn't.

490
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 3: But at one point Jake made a comment to someone

491
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 3: and it rang true and it was totally loving. It

492
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 3: wasn't you weren't playing hardball. It was a real true

493
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 3: statement and they heard it and it was insightful, and

494
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, that's why it gets paid the

495
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 3: big bus.

496
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 2: Please please let me know where these big books because

497
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: I've been missing them.

498
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: We didn't want this episode to come out before we

499
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 3: could let some time pass and check back in with

500
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 3: Amanda Martinez. So hang out for a second as we

501
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: take our last commercial break of the episode, and when

502
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 3: we come back, I hop on a call with Amanda.

503
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 3: We're back and here I am on a video call

504
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 3: with Amanda Martinez and her dog Blue. Amanda, it's been

505
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 3: a month or two since we spoke last, and it's

506
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: really really good to talk to you again. How are

507
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 3: you doing.

508
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 5: I am better than the last time we talked.

509
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 3: Uh huh.

510
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,959
Speaker 5: I bought a house and recently moved in, so just

511
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 5: kind of trying to, you know, get myself together in

512
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 5: this space. But it's really nice to like be back

513
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 5: in my own space and settle in again because I

514
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 5: haven't had my own space in fourteen months.

515
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 3: Congratulations.

516
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 5: Thanks. I will tell you the last fourteen months have

517
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 5: been the hardest fourteen months of being sober, so, you know,

518
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 5: just kind of staying on that path, you know, and

519
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 5: really just looking to enjoy life and not I feel

520
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 5: like I complained a lot, like just with you know,

521
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 5: stress and people and taking care of people, and I

522
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 5: just I don't want that anymore. Like I need peace.

523
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 3: So the last time we spoke, it was the context

524
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 3: of the resilience meeting at One Tribe, which I believe

525
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: was a part of this program you were putting together

526
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 3: to help you find some of that peace and find

527
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: some of that community with your fellow veterans. Have you

528
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 3: continued going to the resilience meeting.

529
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, Actually I've been kind of off and on, but

530
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 5: I went in person last week and I took my

531
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,239
Speaker 5: new dog with me and he did really well. So

532
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 5: last week it was a smaller meeting definitely kind of solidified.

533
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 5: I have to stop, you know, making excuses kind of

534
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 5: and saying like, oh, I'll just do it online, and what.

535
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 3: Are some of the excuses that you come up with

536
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 3: to not.

537
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 5: Go it's too far when really it's not that bad.

538
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 5: It takes about an hour, just like, oh, I'll just

539
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 5: do it online, and then I end up not getting

540
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 5: online doing the Zoom meeting. Like it's just a very

541
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 5: different vibe when you go in person, Like I know

542
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 5: that this is something that's important to me and I

543
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 5: need to grow and I need to heal like it

544
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 5: never stops, you know, like it's always there. So because

545
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 5: for me, it was like I was having a really

546
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 5: hard time like connecting with my family. You know, I

547
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 5: used to come home on leave and I'd be drunk

548
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 5: the entire time. So, uh, trying to connect with them

549
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 5: as a sober person, especially when they remember you as

550
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 5: a drunk person and a lot of chaos, it's really

551
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 5: hard to figure out how to connect again with them, Like,

552
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 5: I'm still having struggles with that.

553
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 3: Does a moment of connection with them spring to mind, Like,

554
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 3: can you remember a recent time where you felt like, oh,

555
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 3: that's maybe that's what connecting feels like.

556
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 5: No, if I'm being honest, No, it's been really hard

557
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 5: for me.

558
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 3: You want to talk a little bit about your new

559
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 3: dog you mentioned I do.

560
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: So.

561
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 5: I got a Cane Corso mix. He's five and his

562
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 5: name is Blue. I had a lab for twelve years

563
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 5: and he was not a good dog when I got him,

564
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 5: but he ended up becoming the best dog ever. Well,

565
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 5: then I got a French bulldog who was a little

566
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 5: stubborn guy. Still a good dog, but definitely like stubborn,

567
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 5: and so he actually passed away, you know, like seventeen

568
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 5: days ago, and it was pretty traumatic, I mean for

569
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 5: him and for me. He kept a minute seizure, thank you. Yeah, yeah,

570
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 5: I had a forty minute seizure. You know the only

571
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 5: thing that I'm thankful for is that the er kept

572
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 5: him stable overnight, and so we were together and he

573
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 5: wasn't like in his crate or by himself at the

574
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 5: hospital like he was with me. And so at that moment,

575
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 5: I was like, no more dogs, Like I'm not doing

576
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 5: this to myself again. But I'm a big dog person.

577
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 5: Like my sister was like, it's it's I don't it's

578
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 5: disheartening to hear you say you don't want another dog,

579
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 5: like you are a dog person. Somebody else was like

580
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 5: if I googled a dog person, you would pop up,

581
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 5: and I started laughing. I was like, ah, I just

582
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 5: can't do it. Well, I'd been home for about a

583
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 5: week and my house was just too quiet, too empty,

584
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 5: and I always wanted a cane corso and really they're

585
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 5: called ConA corsos. He didn't know, so I really wanted one,

586
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 5: and they had one at the Dallas Animal Shelter, and

587
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 5: you know, I was like, Okay, if everything works out perfectly,

588
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 5: then I'll do it. And everything worked out perfectly, like

589
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 5: it was too easy. And he is the sweetest dog.

590
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 5: My sister actually came over to drop her kids off

591
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 5: on Saturday. She you know, she comes straight in and

592
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 5: she's like, blue, it's just me. He's like barking at

593
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 5: her and hal and at her, and she's like, okay, uh,

594
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 5: can you maybe give me a hug? So he knows

595
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,719
Speaker 5: I'm okay because I'm a little scared and I'm trying

596
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 5: not to show it. And so I was like, yeah,

597
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 5: no problem, and you know, he calmed down eventually. But

598
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 5: you know, he's he's been at he was at the

599
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 5: shelter since the end of February. You know, he's a

600
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 5: big boy. He's ninety two pounds and he was forty

601
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 5: nine pounds when they got him at the shelter.

602
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 3: Geez.

603
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 5: And so his foster's really worked hard with him. But

604
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 5: he's adjusted really well. He's been with me. Today's a week.

605
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 5: He's been with me a week, and he's been everywhere

606
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 5: we've been in an uber. He went with me to

607
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 5: the resilience meeting, like I'm glad that I got another dog.

608
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 5: You know, I probably could have waited a little longer.

609
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 5: But you know, I have no, like, no regrets at

610
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 5: all for forgetting him as quickly as I did.

611
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 3: Something popped out in this story you just told me,

612
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 3: And maybe this is me stepping out a line. And

613
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 3: you know, we don't know each other that well, and

614
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 3: I don't know your sister at all, but you mentioned

615
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 3: that she was like, oh, you're a dog person, and

616
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 3: she's dropping the kids off. Seems like she's also working

617
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 3: to connect.

618
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 6: Yeah.

619
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, So my sister that came over, she actually lives

620
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 5: about five minutes away from me, and she has kids,

621
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 5: and she and I have always been close. She's two

622
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 5: years younger than me. She and I have been through

623
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 5: a lot, you know, separately in our lives. You know,

624
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,720
Speaker 5: we had a lot of years where we didn't talk,

625
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 5: and you know, we kind of came to a common

626
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 5: ground and we were like, hey, like sorry for all

627
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 5: the things that we did and all the times we

628
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 5: were disconnected, but like, you know, I'm here now and

629
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 5: we're going to do as best as we can.

630
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 2: You know.

631
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 5: Really, she's the reason that I came back home, you know.

632
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 5: She My nephew is seventeen. He'll graduate a high school

633
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 5: next year, which is crazy because the first time I

634
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 5: came home, he was two months old and he was

635
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 5: a tiny little baby. My sister also has an eleven

636
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 5: year old daughter and then her baby he'll be two

637
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 5: in September. You know, I've kind of missed out on

638
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 5: all of their lives, and so my sister was just like,

639
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 5: please come home, like my kids want a relationship with you, like,

640
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 5: and so I came home. But when I came home,

641
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 5: I wasn't really here. I didn't see my sister. I

642
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 5: don't know, maybe I saw her once a month, you know,

643
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 5: her and the kids. And so I got this house

644
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 5: very close to her so that way, you know, there'd

645
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 5: be no excuses and we probably see each other at

646
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 5: least once a week. And I try to keep the

647
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 5: kids to kind of connect with the kids as well,

648
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,320
Speaker 5: just because I missed out on all their baby years.

649
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 5: I missed out like seeing my little nephew come to me.

650
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 5: Whenever he gets here and puts his arms out to me,

651
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 5: it's like, oh my gosh, like I never got this

652
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 5: with the other kids.

653
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 2: You know.

654
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, from the outside looking in, it appears to

655
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 3: me like you are achieving a lot of what you're

656
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 3: saying is something that'll happen in the future. It looks

657
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 3: to me like some of this stuff is happening in

658
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 3: real time and it's moving. It's moving. To witness it's

659
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 3: not easy. Yeah, I can hear a blue breathing, I know.

660
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 5: So loud. Ninety two pounds wants to be right on

661
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 5: top of me.

662
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 3: It's a big boy. So speaking to you, I see vulnerability.

663
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:22,240
Speaker 3: I see some fragility, and to me it's very obvious

664
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 3: that those go hand in hand with resilience. Those things

665
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 3: are connected. And that might just be because if you

666
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 3: have no vulnerability, if you don't, if you're not working

667
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 3: through some fragility, then what you're doing is not actually

668
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 3: being resilient in any way. That's just being either a

669
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 3: rock or a statue or already perfect or something. Does

670
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 3: that ring true to you?

671
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, i'd say so. You know, being vulnerable is hard.

672
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 5: For years and years, when I would talk about stuff,

673
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 5: it was just kind of like, oh, yeah, this is

674
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 5: what I've been through, this is you know, how things

675
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 5: have been my life or whatever. And it wasn't until

676
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 5: just after a year when I got my DUI that

677
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 5: that I really had to face some things that I

678
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 5: didn't want to talk about and didn't want to face.

679
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 5: And I think that kind of made me more vulnerable.

680
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 5: Like I felt like I was vulnerable, like in a sense,

681
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 5: but I was still kind of hiding certain things that

682
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 5: I wasn't ready for. And i'd say, now you know,

683
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,479
Speaker 5: I've I've faced those things. I wouldn't say that I've

684
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 5: dealt with all of those things yet, Like I still

685
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 5: have some work to do for sure, And I've opened

686
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 5: up a lot more with like my really close friends

687
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 5: and like my sister. Sometimes I don't want to, like

688
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 5: sometimes there's some things that I say here do that

689
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't really want them to know that

690
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 5: I said this or did this. But you know, I

691
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 5: need to be honest with myself. And if I'm not

692
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 5: honest with myself or with my close people that are

693
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 5: willing to help me through things, then I'm never really

694
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 5: going to make the changes that I need.

695
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening to the good stuff.

696
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 2: We'd like to thank Amanda and stew for being on

697
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 2: the show today, and we'd like to thank all the

698
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 2: participants of the Resilience meeting. We did not want to

699
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: record any of their shares, but they were gracious and

700
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: open about Nick bringing in the recording equipment. Thank you

701
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: to the entire group.

702
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: If you appreciate this show, please subscribe, like, and review

703
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 1: The Good Stuff podcast, and connect with us on social media.

704
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 2: We love hearing from you, so please reach out for

705
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 2: our website. Our links and contact information is in the

706
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 2: show notes of this episode.

707
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 3: And it would mean the world to us if you

708
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 3: shared this episode with the people in your life who

709
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 3: might also enjoy it. We'll be back next week, but

710
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: in the meantime, if you're looking for a companion piece

711
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 3: of this episode, please check out our episodes That Damn

712
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 3: Dog with bj Ganham and Releasing the Anchor with Keishan

713
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 3: Coffee from season one.

714
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: Put on your bad ass capes and you'll be great today.

715
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: And remember you can't do epic things without epic people.

716
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: Again, thank you for listening to the Good Stuff.

717
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 3: The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob

718
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 3: Schick and Leah Pictures. Hosted by Ashley Shick, Jacob Shick,

719
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 3: and Nick Cassolini. Produced by Nick Cassolini, Engineering, editing and

720
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 3: post production supervision by Nick Cassolini. Music by Will Tendy,