WEBVTT - Golden Bachelor's Cindy Cullers Tips For Finding A Man in 2026 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.320 Welcome back to I Do Part two. It's one of 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:21.400 your hosts, Jana Kramer, jumping in today. My guest is 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.200 someone we all watched on her journey to finding love 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.040 in her chapter two, and even though it didn't end 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:29.360 in a perfect match for her, we're sure she was 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.960 going to find love again. It's Cindy Colors, runner up 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:36.000 on The Golden Bachelor. She's here, so let's get her 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:39.840 on and talk all things Part two. Hello, Hey Cindy, 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:40.560 I'm Jana. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:42.080 Hi Janna. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.320 Are you just coming off a whirlwind right now? 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.159 Crazy? I'm crazy, but I remember your country songs. I'm 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:52.879 a big country fan. Oh, and I live in Austin 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.440 and I love you. Ever played at acl but I 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:56.240 live in the building. 0:00:56.880 --> 0:01:01.640 Oh wow, Okay, yeah, no, I've been. I I used 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:04.039 to film a TV show in Austin Friday Night Lights 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:04.560 for a little bit. 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:05.160 Yeah. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:08.720 I've been to Austin many times for country music back 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:12.080 in the day. But it's always fun to meet people 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.160 that know me from that side of things, because most 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:16.639 people know me from One Tree Hill that then became 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:19.520 a country artist. But it's always fun to find the 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.319 people that have known me just from music. 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:25.000 So yeah, just from music. Yeah, well, it's a pleasure 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:25.800 to know you today. 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:27.880 I know, nice to chat with you, Sindy, and we'll 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.240 just hop right into it. So I have to be honest. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.880 I didn't watch the show. I've watched now clips of 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:45.640 it all, and if I'm totally honest, I had a 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.480 he didn't give me the vibe that I was. I wasn't. 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:51.280 I don't want to say this. I'll root for everyone 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:57.200 to find love, but it just didn't seem he seemed 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:01.160 a bit of a player from how well I think honestly, 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:03.040 it was this comment that he made about wanting to 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:05.920 date someone not older. And that's fine, you know what 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:09.120 you want, but that just to me came off a little. 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.600 But don't go into show too if you know you 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.480 are any younger, if you know you want younger, don't 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:16.160 go on this show. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.480 Right, So you did you know what he said before 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:21.600 you guys started filming. 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:22.320 I did. 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.440 I had heard the pod, I'd seen the transcript of 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:26.480 the podcast, and then I went to listen to the 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:30.320 podcast and I was concerned about it enough to ask 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.600 a producer kind of what discussion they had with him, 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:38.520 to kind of just you know, to understand what that was, 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.960 and they just described to me, and I figured the 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:44.560 network knew better than I did. So if they said 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:46.800 he's okay to be on the show, that I should 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.040 be okay to be on the show. To be honest too, 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:53.239 I'm still sixty, so I still fit within the range 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.880 of what he was thinking. And I have I have 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:59.280 lots of people in my life who are on their second, 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:03.600 in between second, third, first marriages who want to date younger. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:07.840 So I get the mentality, and you know, I it's 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:09.680 it's going to be what it's going to be. He's 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.160 either going to meet these fabulous women who are sixty 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:15.280 and over and be like wowed by us, or he's 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.679 going to continue to think that he wants to date 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:18.440 somebody younger. 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.680 Right, I mean when when you first saw him, obviously 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:26.360 he's a handsome looking dude, so you had your first 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:29.440 impression of him when you're on the show, but looking back, like, 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:32.200 what was your true first impression of him? 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:38.200 Definitely that he was handsome and that you know, I 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:42.520 projected some stuff onto him that maybe right or wrong, 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:46.640 But he's a professional athlete. I grew up cheering and 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.480 then I danced for the Dallas Mavericks, so I've been 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:51.480 around that group of people, and back in the day, 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:53.600 it wasn't like where you went to make a lot 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:55.520 of money. That's just not what it was. He was 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.560 a hard worker. He sacrificed his body for his team 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:02.200 and the city. And I recognize the dedication that it 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.960 takes to play his position for that many years for 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.240 the same team and then to step out of that 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:11.280 to become an attorney. I was projecting onto him just 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.680 that he was able to make big, bold changes in 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:18.599 his life that you know, he had a sense of 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.080 dedication and some of those things I think are true, 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.120 and some of them may or may not be true. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.360 Right, Yeah, I know I get that piece. I mean 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:30.279 I dated an ex athlete who that transition when they're 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.359 done playing. I mean, it takes them. It's hard for 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.479 them to then rEFInd themselves because they just did the 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.560 one thing they loved so much. They were making great money. 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:39.320 It's like, how do you go from making great money 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.240 and being this person everyone cheered for? It really takes 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:46.039 a hit on their life, and I know a lot 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:49.479 of athletes that then go into depression from that. But 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:54.000 how they outwardly can deal with that at times is 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:57.239 through not being a great guy. Maybe with other women, 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:59.360 that was my experience. I know, I'm not going to 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:04.120 put that on All the dudes are professional former athletes, 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:08.160 but with him, you know, you're walking into this and 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:10.440 obviously you're wanting to find love again because how many 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:11.520 years have you been divorced? 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.080 Seven seven years? Seven years now and you were married 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:18.159 for how long? Married? Twenty five years? Wow? 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:20.799 Yeah, what was the reason for the divorce? 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.960 I haven't really spoken openly about it, and I'm not 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:29.240 sure that I will now. Yeah, just it's out of 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.800 respect for my kids and for you know, and for him. 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:35.160 I want all of us to go on and live 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:35.760 a great life. 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:40.000 And I can say that especially now because I'm in 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:44.400 a wonderful place and have overcome the challenge of what 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:48.120 divorce can can be disruptive, and I've turned it, you know, 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.640 I've made lemonade out of lemons for sure with it. 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:52.839 So I've just chosen to move on. 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:56.120 No, I think that's beautiful, though, I like I commend 0:05:56.160 --> 0:06:01.720 that there's many times when I've spoken too much about that. Now. 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:03.720 There are things that I have not said to protect 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:05.320 the kids, and then other things that you know, we've 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:06.880 both publicly talked about so. 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.160 And there are some things that people can learn from 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.360 our journeys. And I just feel like the journey that 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.680 I went with my divorce was something so common that 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.000 I don't need to be the one who has the 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.840 insight for it. I think that that's part of it. 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:23.600 I think that some of the things I've heard you 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:28.360 say are this is definitely unusual, and you can help 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.600 some people through their situation by telling your story and 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.359 telling not just your story about what happened, but telling 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:38.320 your redemption part of it, how you walked through it 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:40.240 and got to a better place. 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.080 Yeah, And I think people in my when I do 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:47.799 speak about that, the hard part is is that people 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:50.440 just go, oh, well, you met this great guy. I said, no, 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.680 But I was good before him. That's the thing, Like 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.640 I found peace before him. And I think that's why 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:59.440 I was, you know, able to find a good man 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.880 because I was. I was happy. I didn't need I 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:05.320 didn't need his love. His love was just the kind 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:07.600 of the cherry on top, you know, because I finally 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:09.800 profound a place where I was able to love myself, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.400 because if not, I would have just gotten back into 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.160 the same type of relationship with the same kind of man. 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.240 Yeah, it's super important to be able to stand on 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.160 yourself on your two feet. I've made mention of it 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:24.760 in one of the episodes. But the hard part is 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.920 once you are able to stand on your two feet again, 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:33.120 then transferring your weight and leaning into someone else ash 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:36.720 that you just it's a it's scary again because you 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.880 don't know if that's going to go away or you know, 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:42.440 get kicked out from underneath you. So how much of 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:45.680 your weight do you transfer into a new relationship now 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:47.800 that you know you're standing on your two feet again. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:51.200 Well, yeah, and the chances of getting knocked back down 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.160 again are are high. But at the same time, I 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:56.120 always look at it as you're going to learn something 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.080 new each time and then the right one will we'll stay. 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.520 And that's you know, the beauty and all of it. 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.440 So it's like, what's what's the lesson? And with this experience, 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.920 what do you think your lesson was? You know, within 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.040 doing this Golden Bachelor. 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:14.640 A lesson I've been considering, like what are the things 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:19.120 I've learned about myself? I learned that I was still 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:23.520 putting my kids between me and my relationships. I definitely 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.640 learned that and I did not recognize I was doing that. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.240 I knew that I put my career between me and 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.640 my relationships. I knew that I would put other men 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:34.199 between me and my relationships. I did not recognize I 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:38.160 could use my family and use my family to keep 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:43.640 myself distant from a new relationship. But lesson did I learn? 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.360 I think that I learned I still have a tendency 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:50.560 to be over optimistic and to project good things onto people. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:54.120 I'm not sure I want to change that. I think 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:57.240 one day someone's going to prove me right. And so 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.079 it's a lesson that I've learned, Like, just be cautious, 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.800 but I want to remain optimistic through this. 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:07.280 Yeah, I mean, no one wants to get That's the 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:08.880 thing too. People will reach out and they're like, oh, 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.319 I just I'm not going to put myself back out there, 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.920 and it's like, don't, like, you don't want to be 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.360 bitter in love either because that's not a or then 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.720 you're letting the person that hurt you before kind of 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:23.160 win and b it's like you're losing at the end 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:25.600 of the day because there is love out there. Again, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.400 it might not you might not find the love of 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.600 your life. Some people don't write they but that's also 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.480 I think in their choice because they're not wanting to 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:38.600 put themselves out there or do maybe some healing work 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:40.760 to get to a place to be open to it 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:42.520 or find the right person. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.760 So it's all and definitely And in the in the 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.760 show I walked out, It wasn't like Mel rejected me. 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.720 Well that's that was my next question. So what was 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:57.040 what was your reasoning for saying, you know what, this 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:58.240 doesn't suit me. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:01.440 He didn't serve me. The vision that he had for 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.120 a future was not enough. 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.320 Because he told you what, like what was his vision? 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:10.640 Because obviously he didn't propose to Peggy who just just 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:14.280 gave her the the what's that called promise ring? A 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:16.440 promise ring? And how are we in high school? I 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.280 don't know, but you know like. 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:22.160 That that alone. 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.480 That promise ring, it was from my high school sweetheart. 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.400 So I'm like, let's this is this is silly? 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:25.880 You are? 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.199 How old? Like we're not doing promise rings? Or is 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:29.560 that is it? 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.040 Back? I'm not doing promise rings? Yeah, I could tell 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:32.240 you that. 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.200 I'm like, so so what was it? What did he 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:37.600 say to you? Like when you guys are having your 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:42.000 your kind of last meeting before your your you're wanting 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:44.880 and making this decision. Did he say flat out I 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:45.760 don't want to get married. 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.120 He was saying that he doesn't know, and that he 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:53.000 wanted to wait two years because of his sons, that 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.560 he wanted to get them, you know, kind of up 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:59.200 and on their own. And I get that, Yeah, but 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.680 after two years, why would he need to be engaged, 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:04.680 because at that point he could get married. And it 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.560 just doesn't make any It doesn't make any sense to me. 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.600 And I did ask him a question about the first 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.520 time that he got married. Why did he wait so 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:16.080 long to be married the first time. I don't know 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:17.720 if it was a test or not. I was just 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:21.600 curious to hear if his response was because I hadn't 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:26.280 met the right woman. That's a different response than I 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.000 just wasn't ready. And I was just getting this sense 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.680 that Mel hasn't done the work. He's not ready. I've 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.400 done the work. I think Mel and I had enough 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:38.920 ingredients to kind of take it to the next level. 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:42.640 And obviously there's there's still a lot more to be 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.959 discovered in a relationship, but you know, I just was 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:50.240 the feeling that he's not ready and I've had way 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.920 too many relationships in my life, and especially in the 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.520 last seven years, where people just want to take your 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.480 time and enjoy their time with you. And that's great, 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.920 and I I, you know, I go on trips and 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.720 go to concerts and go do a lot of things 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:08.040 with some of those people. But in the end, that's 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.320 not what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for a 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.520 promise ring. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. And I 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:15.760 even said it in a finale. If I wanted a boyfriend, 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.320 I don't need to go on this show to have one. 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:19.120 Right. 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.240 It's so interesting too, because as we get older. I 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:23.960 mean I remember back in my twenties, there was this 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.719 guy who, you know, he was an actor. He just 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:29.360 got divorced, but he liked me and we started dating. 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.040 And I felt like for years that I was just 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.679 trying to be chosen by him because he's like, well, 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:37.040 I don't know if I ever want to get married again, 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.080 and I don't know if I'm like, well, but choose me, 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:40.520 and I'm going to stay along, you know. And I 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:44.080 just I was back and forth with them for years 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:46.400 and it was so hard. And then I remember when 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:50.240 I got divorced from my last husband, and I started, 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.560 you know, he was in he was an athlete, an 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:57.640 ex athlete who then was managing a team, and he's 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.439 I started to feel that again where it was when 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.520 it was only convenient for him and his timing, and 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.840 I'm like, I start and so I kind of caught 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.320 it on pretty early and was like, I know my 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:11.920 tendency of wanting to be chosen that I have to 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:13.400 just be like, you know what, this doesn't work for 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:15.559 me because I he's like, well, I just don't want 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.319 you to get too attached, and I like where we're 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:19.480 at right now now, but I just don't really know. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.760 You know, I've got detachment patterns and I just don't 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.400 want you to attach. And I go, then I'm out 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:25.600 because that's not for me. 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:26.200 You know. 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.560 It's like this is I'm not just going to be 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:31.320 your convenient person that you're going to call when when 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.520 you're bored in the city. You know, like, that's not 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:35.439 that's not me anymore. And I'm not going to wait 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.839 around for you to choose me, because someone will choose 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.560 me and I don't have to like prove this. 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:41.800 Thing go bingo. 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.200 Somebody's going to choose us. Somebody will choose us, and 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.240 there's no pick me to any of this. I'll show 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:49.200 you exactly who I am. I will be vulnerable, I 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.520 will be honest and genuine. I will give you the 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.440 time and dedication it takes for you to get to 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:57.480 know me. But I'm not asking for you to pick me. Yes, 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:01.560 I believe it's even biblical that a man knows when 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.480 he meets his person. Yep Adam says to Eve, you 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:08.400 are bone of my bone. Soas looks at Ruth and 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.840 knows immediately. And I think that some men, you know, 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.240 there are people that are in denial. Maybe he was 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.120 in denial that you were the one, and maybe he's 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.640 running from his you know, his attachment stylar, his previous hurts. 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.280 So you don't have to act on it immediately. But 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:26.240 I believe my guy is going to be immediately struck 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.600 by who I am and will pursue me. And I'm 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:31.600 looking forward to looking forward to that. 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.720 Back to the divorce piece of things, because a lot 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:47.600 of women will say, you know, how did you how 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.080 did you get through the tough days? What was and 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.760 I have the ways that helped me, but what was 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:56.240 one of the things for you that got you up, 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:59.760 obviously your kids, but that helped you get to the 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:00.840 other side of the healing. 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.960 I had a good friend tell me that you couldn't 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:08.480 have gotten here without going through there m And she 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.160 said it to me often enough that I finally etched 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:14.400 it in my brain. And on my hard days, you know, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.120 when I wish that I had the life that I 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:18.920 used to have, I realized this is a life that 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:23.680 I now can choose and it's not. I still have 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.600 hard days where I wish that I had that previous life. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.400 Holidays in particular very hard. 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.240 Press. Yeah, same, yeah, But I'm in. 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:34.240 A better place, and I just I just need to 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.880 go back and continue to recognize that this is my 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.320 path and that every step along the way has been 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:45.560 you know, ordered in advance. And I need to to 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.880 recognize the doors and windows that have been opened in 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:52.160 front of me, and acknowledge and appreciate the doors and 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.640 windows that have closed behind me, and just keep your 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:57.000 head down and your feet moving. 0:15:57.480 --> 0:15:57.680 Yep. 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.240 Only way to get through it is to go through it. 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.560 Is so many people get stuck, you know, Like my 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.920 therapist was saying about forty percent of people who lose 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:11.280 a spouse or get divorced or you know, losing children. 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.920 I think is even higher. But forty percent of people 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:19.160 never return to a positive life, and I was determined 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:23.080 to live big on the other side of what happened 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:23.320 to me. 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:26.760 Yeah, no, absolutely, Okay, So when you were on the 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:33.080 show and you're surrounded by obviously all these beautiful women, 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:38.320 did you feel the camaraderie of everyone wanting again? It's 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:40.200 hard you're trying to date the same guy, right, So 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.760 how was that like when in when you're older going 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:46.720 through that, Because I see how the girls are in 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.840 their twenties thirties on the show. What was that like 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.080 for you, ladies? 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.080 I think we still had some of those twenties and 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.440 thirties moments where you know, you're trying to check out 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.000 the competition, so to speak. But I could speak for myself, 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:04.600 I can't speak for all of them. I found a 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:09.280 group of women to be so engaging and so loving, 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:11.480 and of course we're spending time with the same guy. 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:17.600 But they are incredible women on this cast, and I 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.320 fell in love with almost each and every one of them. 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:24.119 And having that time in the mansion. So we have 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.800 nineteen women who move into the mansion and I live 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:30.680 by myself, none of my kids live in town. I've 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.479 got lots of good friends and colleagues. But you know, 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:38.000 this is a cool experience to be in a house 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.920 with eighteen other women. We're cooking for each other, We're 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.600 trying to share a bathroom, all five of us, trying 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:48.240 to get ready and brush our teeth and shower, and 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:52.120 I'm in a top in a room where the patio 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:58.119 doors don't latch, and just sharing time with these women 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.359 and knowing that they're all kind of in a similar situation. 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.320 Some had lost their husbands, some have been married a 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:07.280 couple times, some are divorced a long time, Some were fresh. 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:10.040 So we all had kind of a different life experience. 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.480 But it was a privilege to be in this little 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:15.240 sorority of the Golden Bachelor castmates. 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:16.800 Were you in Peggy clothes? 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:18.160 No? 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:22.639 Okay, so there's no friendship there? Then post show either Noah? 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:23.520 No? Got it? 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:27.680 Okay, Well, maybe two people end up those two people 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:29.080 were meant to be together. I don't know. 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.600 Well, I think this has ended up exactly the way 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:36.240 it needed to end up, and I'm personally grateful that 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:37.320 it ended up this way. 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:39.800 So I have a question for you, because I have 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:45.560 a few friends who are divorced that are fifty sixty 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:49.679 years old, and they some of them have given up 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:51.919 the hope that they're going to find someone and that 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.440 they then go to the place of And I felt 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.560 this too, Like when I got divorced. I was late thirties, 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:03.639 and I mean I was like seven eight, and I 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:08.040 thought to myself, I don't haven't it's done. I'm I'm old, 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.639 I've I don't have time. I've I've wasted time, you know, 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.000 And you know I've again. I've got a very good 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.880 friend that's almost fifty, another friend that's sixty, same thing 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:20.320 where she's just feels like she wasted so much time 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:24.680 with her last husband that there's no way she'll meet 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.720 someone now. So it's where do you mentally go with 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.280 staying positive in that mind frame when you want when 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:32.800 they want to be in a relationship. 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.320 Well, I think you have to back to our previous conversation. 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:40.560 I think I'm okay by myself and a man is 0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:44.439 going to be lucky to partner up with me. I 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.240 am a multiplier, and I think you know this one 0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:52.000 plus one equals to is just insane. I am a 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.520 multiplier and some man is going to be super lucky. 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:57.479 If you bring me a house, guess what I'm going 0:19:57.560 --> 0:20:01.480 to deliver you a home, bring me your children. I 0:20:01.520 --> 0:20:04.400 will knit it together and make a new family. You 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.680 bring me finances, and I will make you feel wealthy. 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:11.320 And that's what a man is going to get in 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:15.359 relationship with me. He'd be really lucky to come alongside me. 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:19.199 If he doesn't, it's okay because I'm I'm living a 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.280 pretty awesome life, full life with myself. I would love 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:26.159 to have a partner. But if I don't, that's just, 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:29.119