1 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. It's one of 2 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: your hosts, Jana Kramer, jumping in today. My guest is 3 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: someone we all watched on her journey to finding love 4 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: in her chapter two, and even though it didn't end 5 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: in a perfect match for her, we're sure she was 6 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: going to find love again. It's Cindy Colors, runner up 7 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: on The Golden Bachelor. She's here, so let's get her 8 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: on and talk all things Part two. Hello, Hey Cindy, 9 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: I'm Jana. 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 2: Hi Janna. 11 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: Are you just coming off a whirlwind right now? 12 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 3: Crazy? I'm crazy, but I remember your country songs. I'm 13 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 3: a big country fan. Oh, and I live in Austin 14 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 3: and I love you. Ever played at acl but I 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 3: live in the building. 16 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: Oh wow, Okay, yeah, no, I've been. I I used 17 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: to film a TV show in Austin Friday Night Lights 18 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: for a little bit. 19 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 20 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: I've been to Austin many times for country music back 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: in the day. But it's always fun to meet people 22 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: that know me from that side of things, because most 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,639 Speaker 1: people know me from One Tree Hill that then became 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: a country artist. But it's always fun to find the 25 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: people that have known me just from music. 26 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 3: So yeah, just from music. Yeah, well, it's a pleasure 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 3: to know you today. 28 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: I know, nice to chat with you, Sindy, and we'll 29 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: just hop right into it. So I have to be honest. 30 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: I didn't watch the show. I've watched now clips of 31 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: it all, and if I'm totally honest, I had a 32 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: he didn't give me the vibe that I was. I wasn't. 33 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to say this. I'll root for everyone 34 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: to find love, but it just didn't seem he seemed 35 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: a bit of a player from how well I think honestly, 36 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: it was this comment that he made about wanting to 37 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: date someone not older. And that's fine, you know what 38 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: you want, but that just to me came off a little. 39 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 3: But don't go into show too if you know you 40 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 3: are any younger, if you know you want younger, don't 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 3: go on this show. 42 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: Right, So you did you know what he said before 43 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: you guys started filming. 44 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 2: I did. 45 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 3: I had heard the pod, I'd seen the transcript of 46 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 3: the podcast, and then I went to listen to the 47 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 3: podcast and I was concerned about it enough to ask 48 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 3: a producer kind of what discussion they had with him, 49 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 3: to kind of just you know, to understand what that was, 50 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 3: and they just described to me, and I figured the 51 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 3: network knew better than I did. So if they said 52 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 3: he's okay to be on the show, that I should 53 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 3: be okay to be on the show. To be honest too, 54 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 3: I'm still sixty, so I still fit within the range 55 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 3: of what he was thinking. And I have I have 56 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 3: lots of people in my life who are on their second, 57 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 3: in between second, third, first marriages who want to date younger. 58 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 3: So I get the mentality, and you know, I it's 59 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 3: it's going to be what it's going to be. He's 60 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 3: either going to meet these fabulous women who are sixty 61 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 3: and over and be like wowed by us, or he's 62 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,679 Speaker 3: going to continue to think that he wants to date 63 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 3: somebody younger. 64 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: Right, I mean when when you first saw him, obviously 65 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: he's a handsome looking dude, so you had your first 66 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: impression of him when you're on the show, but looking back, like, 67 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: what was your true first impression of him? 68 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 3: Definitely that he was handsome and that you know, I 69 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 3: projected some stuff onto him that maybe right or wrong, 70 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 3: But he's a professional athlete. I grew up cheering and 71 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 3: then I danced for the Dallas Mavericks, so I've been 72 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 3: around that group of people, and back in the day, 73 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 3: it wasn't like where you went to make a lot 74 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 3: of money. That's just not what it was. He was 75 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 3: a hard worker. He sacrificed his body for his team 76 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 3: and the city. And I recognize the dedication that it 77 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 3: takes to play his position for that many years for 78 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 3: the same team and then to step out of that 79 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 3: to become an attorney. I was projecting onto him just 80 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 3: that he was able to make big, bold changes in 81 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 3: his life that you know, he had a sense of 82 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 3: dedication and some of those things I think are true, 83 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 3: and some of them may or may not be true. 84 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I know I get that piece. I mean 85 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: I dated an ex athlete who that transition when they're 86 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,359 Speaker 1: done playing. I mean, it takes them. It's hard for 87 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: them to then rEFInd themselves because they just did the 88 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: one thing they loved so much. They were making great money. 89 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: It's like, how do you go from making great money 90 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: and being this person everyone cheered for? It really takes 91 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 1: a hit on their life, and I know a lot 92 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,479 Speaker 1: of athletes that then go into depression from that. But 93 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: how they outwardly can deal with that at times is 94 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,239 Speaker 1: through not being a great guy. Maybe with other women, 95 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: that was my experience. I know, I'm not going to 96 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: put that on All the dudes are professional former athletes, 97 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: but with him, you know, you're walking into this and 98 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: obviously you're wanting to find love again because how many 99 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: years have you been divorced? 100 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 2: Seven seven years? Seven years now and you were married 101 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 2: for how long? Married? Twenty five years? Wow? 102 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, what was the reason for the divorce? 103 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 3: I haven't really spoken openly about it, and I'm not 104 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 3: sure that I will now. Yeah, just it's out of 105 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 3: respect for my kids and for you know, and for him. 106 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: I want all of us to go on and live 107 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: a great life. 108 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 3: And I can say that especially now because I'm in 109 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 3: a wonderful place and have overcome the challenge of what 110 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 3: divorce can can be disruptive, and I've turned it, you know, 111 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 3: I've made lemonade out of lemons for sure with it. 112 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 2: So I've just chosen to move on. 113 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: No, I think that's beautiful, though, I like I commend 114 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:01,720 Speaker 1: that there's many times when I've spoken too much about that. Now. 115 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: There are things that I have not said to protect 116 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: the kids, and then other things that you know, we've 117 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: both publicly talked about so. 118 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 3: And there are some things that people can learn from 119 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 3: our journeys. And I just feel like the journey that 120 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 3: I went with my divorce was something so common that 121 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 3: I don't need to be the one who has the 122 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 3: insight for it. I think that that's part of it. 123 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 3: I think that some of the things I've heard you 124 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 3: say are this is definitely unusual, and you can help 125 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 3: some people through their situation by telling your story and 126 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,359 Speaker 3: telling not just your story about what happened, but telling 127 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 3: your redemption part of it, how you walked through it 128 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 3: and got to a better place. 129 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think people in my when I do 130 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,799 Speaker 1: speak about that, the hard part is is that people 131 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: just go, oh, well, you met this great guy. I said, no, 132 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: But I was good before him. That's the thing, Like 133 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: I found peace before him. And I think that's why 134 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: I was, you know, able to find a good man 135 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: because I was. I was happy. I didn't need I 136 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: didn't need his love. His love was just the kind 137 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: of the cherry on top, you know, because I finally 138 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: profound a place where I was able to love myself, 139 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: because if not, I would have just gotten back into 140 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: the same type of relationship with the same kind of man. 141 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's super important to be able to stand on 142 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 3: yourself on your two feet. I've made mention of it 143 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 3: in one of the episodes. But the hard part is 144 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 3: once you are able to stand on your two feet again, 145 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 3: then transferring your weight and leaning into someone else ash 146 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 3: that you just it's a it's scary again because you 147 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 3: don't know if that's going to go away or you know, 148 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 3: get kicked out from underneath you. So how much of 149 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 3: your weight do you transfer into a new relationship now 150 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 3: that you know you're standing on your two feet again. 151 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, and the chances of getting knocked back down 152 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: again are are high. But at the same time, I 153 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: always look at it as you're going to learn something 154 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: new each time and then the right one will we'll stay. 155 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: And that's you know, the beauty and all of it. 156 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: So it's like, what's what's the lesson? And with this experience, 157 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: what do you think your lesson was? You know, within 158 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 1: doing this Golden Bachelor. 159 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 3: A lesson I've been considering, like what are the things 160 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 3: I've learned about myself? I learned that I was still 161 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 3: putting my kids between me and my relationships. I definitely 162 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 3: learned that and I did not recognize I was doing that. 163 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 3: I knew that I put my career between me and 164 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 3: my relationships. I knew that I would put other men 165 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 3: between me and my relationships. I did not recognize I 166 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 3: could use my family and use my family to keep 167 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 3: myself distant from a new relationship. But lesson did I learn? 168 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 3: I think that I learned I still have a tendency 169 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 3: to be over optimistic and to project good things onto people. 170 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 3: I'm not sure I want to change that. I think 171 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 3: one day someone's going to prove me right. And so 172 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 3: it's a lesson that I've learned, Like, just be cautious, 173 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 3: but I want to remain optimistic through this. 174 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, no one wants to get That's the 175 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: thing too. People will reach out and they're like, oh, 176 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,319 Speaker 1: I just I'm not going to put myself back out there, 177 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: and it's like, don't, like, you don't want to be 178 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: bitter in love either because that's not a or then 179 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: you're letting the person that hurt you before kind of 180 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: win and b it's like you're losing at the end 181 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: of the day because there is love out there. Again, 182 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: it might not you might not find the love of 183 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: your life. Some people don't write they but that's also 184 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: I think in their choice because they're not wanting to 185 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: put themselves out there or do maybe some healing work 186 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: to get to a place to be open to it 187 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: or find the right person. 188 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 3: So it's all and definitely And in the in the 189 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 3: show I walked out, It wasn't like Mel rejected me. 190 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: Well that's that was my next question. So what was 191 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: what was your reasoning for saying, you know what, this 192 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: doesn't suit me. 193 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 3: He didn't serve me. The vision that he had for 194 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: a future was not enough. 195 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: Because he told you what, like what was his vision? 196 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: Because obviously he didn't propose to Peggy who just just 197 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: gave her the the what's that called promise ring? A 198 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: promise ring? And how are we in high school? I 199 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: don't know, but you know like. 200 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 3: That that alone. 201 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: That promise ring, it was from my high school sweetheart. 202 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: So I'm like, let's this is this is silly? 203 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 2: You are? 204 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 1: How old? Like we're not doing promise rings? Or is 205 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: that is it? 206 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 2: Back? I'm not doing promise rings? Yeah, I could tell 207 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 2: you that. 208 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, so so what was it? What did he 209 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: say to you? Like when you guys are having your 210 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: your kind of last meeting before your your you're wanting 211 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: and making this decision. Did he say flat out I 212 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: don't want to get married. 213 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 3: He was saying that he doesn't know, and that he 214 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 3: wanted to wait two years because of his sons, that 215 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 3: he wanted to get them, you know, kind of up 216 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 3: and on their own. And I get that, Yeah, but 217 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 3: after two years, why would he need to be engaged, 218 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 3: because at that point he could get married. And it 219 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 3: just doesn't make any It doesn't make any sense to me. 220 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 3: And I did ask him a question about the first 221 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 3: time that he got married. Why did he wait so 222 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 3: long to be married the first time. I don't know 223 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 3: if it was a test or not. I was just 224 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 3: curious to hear if his response was because I hadn't 225 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 3: met the right woman. That's a different response than I 226 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 3: just wasn't ready. And I was just getting this sense 227 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 3: that Mel hasn't done the work. He's not ready. I've 228 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 3: done the work. I think Mel and I had enough 229 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 3: ingredients to kind of take it to the next level. 230 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 3: And obviously there's there's still a lot more to be 231 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 3: discovered in a relationship, but you know, I just was 232 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 3: the feeling that he's not ready and I've had way 233 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 3: too many relationships in my life, and especially in the 234 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 3: last seven years, where people just want to take your 235 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 3: time and enjoy their time with you. And that's great, 236 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 3: and I I, you know, I go on trips and 237 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 3: go to concerts and go do a lot of things 238 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 3: with some of those people. But in the end, that's 239 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 3: not what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for a 240 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 3: promise ring. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. And I 241 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 3: even said it in a finale. If I wanted a boyfriend, 242 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 3: I don't need to go on this show to have one. 243 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 2: Right. 244 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: It's so interesting too, because as we get older. I 245 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: mean I remember back in my twenties, there was this 246 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,719 Speaker 1: guy who, you know, he was an actor. He just 247 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: got divorced, but he liked me and we started dating. 248 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: And I felt like for years that I was just 249 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: trying to be chosen by him because he's like, well, 250 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever want to get married again, 251 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: and I don't know if I'm like, well, but choose me, 252 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 1: and I'm going to stay along, you know. And I 253 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: just I was back and forth with them for years 254 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: and it was so hard. And then I remember when 255 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: I got divorced from my last husband, and I started, 256 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 1: you know, he was in he was an athlete, an 257 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: ex athlete who then was managing a team, and he's 258 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: I started to feel that again where it was when 259 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: it was only convenient for him and his timing, and 260 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I start and so I kind of caught 261 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: it on pretty early and was like, I know my 262 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: tendency of wanting to be chosen that I have to 263 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: just be like, you know what, this doesn't work for 264 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,559 Speaker 1: me because I he's like, well, I just don't want 265 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 1: you to get too attached, and I like where we're 266 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: at right now now, but I just don't really know. 267 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: You know, I've got detachment patterns and I just don't 268 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: want you to attach. And I go, then I'm out 269 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 1: because that's not for me. 270 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 2: You know. 271 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: It's like this is I'm not just going to be 272 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: your convenient person that you're going to call when when 273 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: you're bored in the city. You know, like, that's not 274 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 1: that's not me anymore. And I'm not going to wait 275 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 1: around for you to choose me, because someone will choose 276 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 1: me and I don't have to like prove this. 277 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 2: Thing go bingo. 278 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 3: Somebody's going to choose us. Somebody will choose us, and 279 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 3: there's no pick me to any of this. I'll show 280 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 3: you exactly who I am. I will be vulnerable, I 281 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 3: will be honest and genuine. I will give you the 282 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 3: time and dedication it takes for you to get to 283 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 3: know me. But I'm not asking for you to pick me. Yes, 284 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 3: I believe it's even biblical that a man knows when 285 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 3: he meets his person. Yep Adam says to Eve, you 286 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 3: are bone of my bone. Soas looks at Ruth and 287 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 3: knows immediately. And I think that some men, you know, 288 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 3: there are people that are in denial. Maybe he was 289 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 3: in denial that you were the one, and maybe he's 290 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 3: running from his you know, his attachment stylar, his previous hurts. 291 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 3: So you don't have to act on it immediately. But 292 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 3: I believe my guy is going to be immediately struck 293 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 3: by who I am and will pursue me. And I'm 294 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 3: looking forward to looking forward to that. 295 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: Back to the divorce piece of things, because a lot 296 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: of women will say, you know, how did you how 297 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: did you get through the tough days? What was and 298 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: I have the ways that helped me, but what was 299 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: one of the things for you that got you up, 300 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: obviously your kids, but that helped you get to the 301 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 1: other side of the healing. 302 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 3: I had a good friend tell me that you couldn't 303 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 3: have gotten here without going through there m And she 304 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 3: said it to me often enough that I finally etched 305 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 3: it in my brain. And on my hard days, you know, 306 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 3: when I wish that I had the life that I 307 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 3: used to have, I realized this is a life that 308 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 3: I now can choose and it's not. I still have 309 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 3: hard days where I wish that I had that previous life. 310 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 3: Holidays in particular very hard. 311 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 2: Press. Yeah, same, yeah, But I'm in. 312 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 3: A better place, and I just I just need to 313 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 3: go back and continue to recognize that this is my 314 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 3: path and that every step along the way has been 315 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 3: you know, ordered in advance. And I need to to 316 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 3: recognize the doors and windows that have been opened in 317 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 3: front of me, and acknowledge and appreciate the doors and 318 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 3: windows that have closed behind me, and just keep your 319 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 3: head down and your feet moving. 320 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: Yep. 321 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: Only way to get through it is to go through it. 322 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 3: Is so many people get stuck, you know, Like my 323 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 3: therapist was saying about forty percent of people who lose 324 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 3: a spouse or get divorced or you know, losing children. 325 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 3: I think is even higher. But forty percent of people 326 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 3: never return to a positive life, and I was determined 327 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 3: to live big on the other side of what happened 328 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 3: to me. 329 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, absolutely, Okay, So when you were on the 330 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: show and you're surrounded by obviously all these beautiful women, 331 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: did you feel the camaraderie of everyone wanting again? It's 332 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: hard you're trying to date the same guy, right, So 333 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: how was that like when in when you're older going 334 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: through that, Because I see how the girls are in 335 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: their twenties thirties on the show. What was that like 336 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: for you, ladies? 337 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 3: I think we still had some of those twenties and 338 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 3: thirties moments where you know, you're trying to check out 339 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 3: the competition, so to speak. But I could speak for myself, 340 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 3: I can't speak for all of them. I found a 341 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 3: group of women to be so engaging and so loving, 342 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 3: and of course we're spending time with the same guy. 343 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 3: But they are incredible women on this cast, and I 344 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 3: fell in love with almost each and every one of them. 345 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 3: And having that time in the mansion. So we have 346 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 3: nineteen women who move into the mansion and I live 347 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 3: by myself, none of my kids live in town. I've 348 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,479 Speaker 3: got lots of good friends and colleagues. But you know, 349 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 3: this is a cool experience to be in a house 350 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:41,920 Speaker 3: with eighteen other women. We're cooking for each other, We're 351 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 3: trying to share a bathroom, all five of us, trying 352 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 3: to get ready and brush our teeth and shower, and 353 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 3: I'm in a top in a room where the patio 354 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:58,119 Speaker 3: doors don't latch, and just sharing time with these women 355 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,359 Speaker 3: and knowing that they're all kind of in a similar situation. 356 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 3: Some had lost their husbands, some have been married a 357 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 3: couple times, some are divorced a long time, Some were fresh. 358 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 3: So we all had kind of a different life experience. 359 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 3: But it was a privilege to be in this little 360 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 3: sorority of the Golden Bachelor castmates. 361 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: Were you in Peggy clothes? 362 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:18,160 Speaker 2: No? 363 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 1: Okay, so there's no friendship there? Then post show either Noah? 364 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 2: No? Got it? 365 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,680 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, maybe two people end up those two people 366 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 1: were meant to be together. I don't know. 367 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 3: Well, I think this has ended up exactly the way 368 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 3: it needed to end up, and I'm personally grateful that 369 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 3: it ended up this way. 370 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: So I have a question for you, because I have 371 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: a few friends who are divorced that are fifty sixty 372 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,679 Speaker 1: years old, and they some of them have given up 373 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 1: the hope that they're going to find someone and that 374 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: they then go to the place of And I felt 375 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: this too, Like when I got divorced. I was late thirties, 376 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: and I mean I was like seven eight, and I 377 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: thought to myself, I don't haven't it's done. I'm I'm old, 378 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 1: I've I don't have time. I've I've wasted time, you know, 379 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: And you know I've again. I've got a very good 380 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 1: friend that's almost fifty, another friend that's sixty, same thing 381 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: where she's just feels like she wasted so much time 382 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,680 Speaker 1: with her last husband that there's no way she'll meet 383 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: someone now. So it's where do you mentally go with 384 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: staying positive in that mind frame when you want when 385 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: they want to be in a relationship. 386 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 3: Well, I think you have to back to our previous conversation. 387 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 3: I think I'm okay by myself and a man is 388 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 3: going to be lucky to partner up with me. I 389 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: am a multiplier, and I think you know this one 390 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 3: plus one equals to is just insane. I am a 391 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 3: multiplier and some man is going to be super lucky. 392 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,479 Speaker 3: If you bring me a house, guess what I'm going 393 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 3: to deliver you a home, bring me your children. I 394 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 3: will knit it together and make a new family. You 395 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 3: bring me finances, and I will make you feel wealthy. 396 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 3: And that's what a man is going to get in 397 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 3: relationship with me. He'd be really lucky to come alongside me. 398 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 3: If he doesn't, it's okay because I'm I'm living a 399 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 3: pretty awesome life, full life with myself. I would love 400 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 3: to have a partner. But if I don't, that's just, 401 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,119 Speaker 3: you know, just just my fate in life. I'm okay 402 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 3: both ways, and I think you really just have to 403 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 3: get like you talked about earlier. 404 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 2: We have to get to a place where we're okay 405 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 2: either way. 406 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 1: I know, so much easier said than done, though, because 407 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: there were there were so many times in my bed 408 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, no one will love me, you know, and 409 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: it's like it's like, well it feels lonely sometimes, you know. 410 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 3: But you also need to be prepared for that person 411 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 3: in your life. I'll tell you what I just did. 412 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: This. 413 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 3: You're going to think I'm very silly. I have I 414 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 3: live in this one bedroom Pondo, and I love it. 415 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 3: It's just a little jewel box to me, and it's 416 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 3: not very big, so I use every square inch. And 417 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 3: I had these medicine cabinets put in on either side 418 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 3: of my bathroom mirror, and I moved into one, and 419 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,439 Speaker 3: I kept the one on the other side open and 420 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 3: available and just ready for I love it for my 421 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 3: future man. And guess what, I started to creep into 422 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 3: that medicine cabinet and put my stuff and kind of 423 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 3: spread out a little bit. So this last week I 424 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 3: moved things back out of that medicine cabinet and I 425 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 3: made room in my life for a man. And I 426 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 3: think we just all should be mindful that I will 427 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 3: be prepared and be my best for my man to 428 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: meet me this afternoon or tomorrow or in ten years. 429 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 3: But I'm going to continue to work on being my 430 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 3: best self for me, for my family, for life, and 431 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 3: just making sure there's still room in my life for him. 432 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 1: I love that. That's so sweet. So when did the 433 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 1: show wrap? What month? 434 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 3: It was end of August, Because right from the show, 435 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 3: I had to go to my daughter. I had to 436 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 3: I was privileged to go to my daughter's wedding, my 437 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 3: second daughter's wedding in Italy. So within days I went 438 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 3: from the you know, all the mind worldling, walk off 439 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 3: the doc, leave the guy, to you know, really taking 440 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,639 Speaker 3: a look at what a fully committed, loving relationship looks like. 441 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,679 Speaker 3: And it was such a privilege to be there anyway, 442 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 3: because I love these kids so much, but to really 443 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 3: see what love looks like. Yeah, and then to compare 444 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 3: it to what Mel was offering, it was, it was, 445 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 3: It was perfect. It was so healing and so lovely 446 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 3: to have that contrast. 447 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 1: Since the show, has anyone slid into the dms or 448 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 1: like where are you meeting? Where are you meeting guys? 449 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: Like who would you like to slide into the DM? 450 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 2: Like what. 451 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: Have you slid into someone's you know, because I'm now 452 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: obviously people watching you. You're beautiful, you know, you had 453 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,920 Speaker 1: a great energy, so I have to assume that there's 454 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,679 Speaker 1: men trying. 455 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 3: I've had some men slide into my DM since I've 456 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 3: had some friends introduced me to men, and you know, 457 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 3: just just gonna this is the holidays, So I'm kind 458 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 3: of taking a big old pause with all of that, 459 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 3: just so I could focus on, you know, recentering myself 460 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 3: and being with my family, and but yeah, there's I'm 461 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,479 Speaker 3: definitely not hesitant to get back out there. I'm not 462 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 3: hesitant that my man is around the corner. I hope 463 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 3: he's watching this. I hope he's listening to this and 464 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 3: falls in love with me on this and calls immediately, 465 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 3: And I think that he'll be bold enough to step 466 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 3: forward the kind of man that I'm looking for. 467 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: Oh. I love that she's ready to open her medicine cabinet, 468 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 1: so I put your whatever you need in there. That 469 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: is funny. Okay, so let's do a little rapid fire. 470 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: Oh okay, what advice would you give to our listeners 471 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: who are getting back into the dating scene for the 472 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: first time? 473 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 3: What advice would I give to people getting back into 474 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 3: the dating scene? Work on being the best self. Being 475 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:09,360 Speaker 3: your best self will will attract the person that will 476 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 3: meet your best self. Always elevate level up all the time. 477 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,919 Speaker 1: Do you think you should always give someone two dates 478 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 1: to tell if there is chemistry? 479 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 2: No? 480 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: Agreed? You know that first date? Yeah, anytime I ever 481 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: tried a second date, I'm like, why did I do this? 482 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: I knew the gut, the gut told me on the 483 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: first one that it was a no. 484 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 3: And if forget's not sure, if your gut doesn't say no, 485 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 3: then you could have a second date and still say 486 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 3: no after the second date. 487 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,120 Speaker 2: But sometimes it's just no, immediately agreed. 488 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 1: Do you think it's a good idea to FaceTime a 489 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 1: date you've met online before the first. 490 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 3: Date depends on how much they're giving you in your exchanges, 491 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 3: Like if you're not getting the full vibe, I definitely 492 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 3: think it's better to hop on FaceTime. But if you're 493 00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 3: kind of getting a genuine vibe and I don't anything online, 494 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 3: mine's either referrals by friends or some of these dms, 495 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 3: So I'll just consider it like a DM. 496 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,360 Speaker 2: You just got to you know, got a sense how genuine. 497 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 3: They're being in their responses to you. 498 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: See, I am a FaceTime That is a was a rule, 499 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,399 Speaker 1: Like I have to FaceTime before because if I waste 500 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: an hour away from the home or the kid, you 501 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, I will so angry at myself. 502 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,360 Speaker 1: So and anytime my girlfriend who's divorced, she'll go she's like, huh, 503 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,160 Speaker 1: I should have listened to you. I'm like, I tell 504 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 1: you every time you got a FaceTime, because you will 505 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 1: just know. 506 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 3: Well, I have a three step method. Oh I heard 507 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 3: this from a million dollar matchmaker, because she's like, oh, 508 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,479 Speaker 3: you're single, you're divorced, I'll put you in my stable. 509 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, no, no, I just being in. 510 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:50,920 Speaker 3: Nay no, that was good. So she said there's three 511 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 3: steps that she uses to test compatibility. The first interaction 512 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 3: is a coffee date or a drink, and since I 513 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 3: don't drink coffee, it's usually meet me for a drink 514 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 3: twenty to forty minutes. I don't care if I feel 515 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 3: like I've met my soulmate twenty to forty minutes and 516 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 3: we're cutting it off. Second date is an activity, so 517 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 3: we'll go to the farmer's market, we'll stand up powder board, 518 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 3: we'll go for a hike, we'll you know, I'll ask 519 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 3: you to. 520 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 2: Come move my couch. 521 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,479 Speaker 3: If you were referred by a friend, I'll make something up, 522 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 3: but it will be an activity. And then the third 523 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 3: date can be the dinner date, because you can waste 524 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 3: a whole lot of time out there with people that 525 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 3: you're not attracted to and you're not compatible with. 526 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 2: I like that. 527 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 3: So there's my three steps, and I tell all of 528 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 3: my single friends to do it. That way, it saves 529 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,120 Speaker 3: you so much time. I'll also tell you what happens 530 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 3: on that first date. If you're really vibing with them, 531 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 3: something happens where you just forget the details. So they 532 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 3: could tell you about their children, their names, how old 533 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 3: they are, where they. 534 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 2: Go to school, where they live. 535 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 3: That all those details somehow go in one ear and 536 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 3: out the other, and so you just don't really pay 537 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 3: attention to them. Where I find if you have it 538 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 3: on a second or third date, you're more able to 539 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,920 Speaker 3: I'm more able at least to retain that information. 540 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that makes sense. Is it ever okay to 541 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: split the bill on a first date? No, one hundred percent. 542 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 3: No. 543 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 1: It happened to me one time we went to the 544 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 1: it was in Los Angeles, it was the it was 545 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,719 Speaker 1: called the Garlic Rose. And he put his card down. 546 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: He's like, okay, He's like, we'll split it. You put 547 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 1: the car down to first and only day. I'm like, no, 548 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: that is I know. And I love getting the bill. 549 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: That's the thing. I love to get a bill. And 550 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: that's something that I know that I had to stop 551 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: because I would try sometimes to get it on the 552 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: first date, and I'd learned once I got older, I'm like, no, 553 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: they can. 554 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 3: Pay, and they could pay. I'm a traditional woman. That's 555 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,359 Speaker 3: what I expect. It's not like I won't contribute financially. 556 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 3: And by the way, I get access to some stuff 557 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 3: because of where I live, how long I've lived here, 558 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 3: that you'll get to taggle on with me for some 559 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 3: fun stuff that you know you're not really paying for. 560 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,280 Speaker 3: But definitely don't split the chat ladies. 561 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 1: Best tip for flirting or catching a man's attention the eyes. 562 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 1: Give him the eyes, the eyes, and then the look 563 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: down and then look back up and the look. 564 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 3: I think that there's an art to flirting, but it 565 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 3: all is wrapped up to me in a very intricate 566 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 3: dance between masculine and feminine. And so if you find 567 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,560 Speaker 3: a man who enjoys being in their masculine it's easy 568 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 3: to flirt with them for me, because it is about 569 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 3: showing great appreciation, great interest and just I don't I'm 570 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 3: not sure I have a step one, step two, step three, 571 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 3: But I did try to coach a couple of women 572 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 3: on the show about flirting, and Robin talks about it 573 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 3: on the show, and it's not necessarily flirting, it's for 574 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: just try to help the women get out of their 575 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 3: masculine right. I run my own life. I've been independent 576 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 3: for seven years. I don't necessarily need a man. And 577 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 3: being feminine, I think, can be confused very often with 578 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 3: being weak and giving up your power. I feel like 579 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 3: gain power by being feminine, and I feel like I 580 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 3: draw out the best in a man and help him 581 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 3: be masculine. 582 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 2: So there's a lot to it. This could be a 583 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 2: whole segment. 584 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: There's some really good books about that too, about female 585 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: masculine and female and you know, being feminine male's masculinity 586 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: because it's like you don't want guys don't want a 587 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 1: masculine Most guys don't want a masculine women. But we 588 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 1: feel that sometimes we have to since single parents, divorced, 589 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 1: that we have this really protective barrier around us that 590 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 1: sometimes will come out masculine and it's like that's not 591 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 1: going to be the attraction to the other guy. We 592 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 1: do feel more power once that is shed, So. 593 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, and a man inherently over time and it 594 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 3: gets worse, you're still a youngster men over time stop 595 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,680 Speaker 3: thinking and that's just a feminine it's more of a 596 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 3: feminine trait and so they tend to stop thinking. And women, 597 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 3: because we can do it all just like men can 598 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 3: do it all, we allow it. 599 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 2: So when I remember. 600 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 3: Many times talking to a man and saying, you know, 601 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 3: at this time, I don't feel the need to yield 602 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 3: my independence to you. What do you think about that? 603 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 3: And just the second half of that conversation, what do 604 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 3: you think about that? And I ask men to think, 605 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 3: and somebody wants to see me. I'm like, well, I 606 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 3: live here, you live there? How does that look? What 607 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 3: do you think about that? And I make them figure 608 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 3: it out because I could do logistics all day, but 609 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 3: I like having a man think and that allows me 610 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 3: to feel and not that I can't do it. 611 00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 2: Will probably get some haters on this. 612 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: In the oh it's so true though, but it's true. 613 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 3: I think men men tend to lose their curiosity as 614 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 3: they age, and they they stop thinking because other people 615 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 3: think on their behalf. 616 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that. Should you kiss on a first date? 617 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,479 Speaker 1: Maybe I did. I did with my husband. So he 618 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: kissed me. We were sitting on a couch and he 619 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 1: just went right in and I was like, whoa. He 620 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: did it a lot faster than I would have, but 621 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: he kept saying it was because you know, we had 622 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 1: been facetiming so much and he was overseas, so it 623 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 1: was like that. 624 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 3: Ant spees the moment. But back to the you know, 625 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,920 Speaker 3: Adam recognizing Eve right away. I think sometimes if a 626 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 3: man knows and he's healed and he's ready and you're 627 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 3: feeling it, nothing wrong with it, no shame. I think 628 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 3: I don't want a roommate. I want I want to 629 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 3: have a sexual chemistry with someone. 630 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 1: Is it a red flag if you start dating someone 631 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 1: who is separated but their divorce isn't final? Yes, what's 632 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: a subtle red flag people tend to overlook when getting 633 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 1: back into dating after divorce. 634 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 3: Being divorce does not mean that they're available, or that 635 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 3: they're healed, or that they're ready. 636 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 1: What was Mel's biggest red flag? 637 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 3: I don't know that Mel has a red flag. In general, 638 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 3: nobody has a red flag. I think that he Okay, 639 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 3: I'll tell you what I believe his red flag is. 640 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 3: I think that he likes to observe and doesn't like 641 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 3: to participate. Maybe even that he likes to observe and 642 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 3: he's not even aware that he's not participating. 643 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 2: That makes sense. 644 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 3: So like for example, I love going on trips. I 645 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 3: want to go skiing, I want to go to the beach, 646 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 3: and I want to go with somebody who will do 647 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 3: things with me and not just watch me have fun. 648 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 3: That means I think that that was kind of a 649 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 3: point of we were not compatible with that. 650 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 1: If someone is a bad kiss or, does that mean 651 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: they'll likely be bad in bed? Listen, I'll just answer 652 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: that they're a bad kisser, they ain't getten in bed. 653 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 1: I gotta have a good GISs there. 654 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 2: No, but I will. 655 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 3: I have had kissers who were not as good, and 656 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 3: some men are trainable. 657 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: Really because I had one that was a very bad 658 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: kisser and I gave them a couple shots and it's 659 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 1: still I was like, I can't do it. I love 660 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: to kiss, and if you're not a good kisser, I 661 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: just can't. 662 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 3: Absolutely, if you go two or three times and you 663 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 3: can't get any change. 664 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not going to throw them out right away. 665 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 3: I think that you know, if you've been kissing someone else, 666 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 3: you've been kissing that person in the way that the 667 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 3: two of you kiss best. Sure, so now that you 668 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 3: have someone new, you might need some different techniques. So 669 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 3: give them a chance. All right, this is a producer question. 670 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: How would you rate Mel's kissing skills? She's like as 671 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 1: much as the red fluff. Oh oh, teachable, So that's teacher, great, 672 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 1: that's funny. What's one thing men fifty plus need to 673 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: lighten up on when it comes to dating? Same question 674 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: for women? Men over fifty need to lighten up on age. 675 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 1: So I think they hyper focus on age. How many 676 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 1: profiles did I see over the years, and that my 677 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 1: friends are still seeing. I'm younger than I look, I'm 678 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: younger than my age, I act younger. It's like, get 679 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,440 Speaker 1: over it, Like sixty today is not what sixty used 680 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,880 Speaker 1: to be. Everyone is acts younger and is younger. So 681 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: that's when age. 682 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 2: And then for women. 683 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:25,720 Speaker 3: They need to get over the quick commitment, like gosh, 684 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 3: I've had a lot of women recently, like in the 685 00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,359 Speaker 3: last couple of weeks be like swipe left on that one. 686 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, wait, wait why, Well. 687 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 3: Just like just any any inkling of a red flag 688 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,319 Speaker 3: or something that's not exactly right, they're passing on. And 689 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 3: I think that at our age, I don't know, it's 690 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 3: not beggars can't be choosers, but we could all grow 691 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 3: and change and we should be more flexible with other 692 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 3: people's situations and pack. 693 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 1: Everyone deserves a shot. We all have a past, and 694 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: there is no there's no there's no night and shining armor, 695 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: and there's no perfect woman. You know. That's where it's. 696 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 1: When I was in the dating, I'm like, I can't 697 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: judge someone on their past. I have to judge them, 698 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 1: not judge them. But I need to observe them in 699 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,439 Speaker 1: their present because I have a messed up past. I've 700 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: made multiple mistakes. 701 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 3: Look at our new bouchelorette. If somebody judged her on 702 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 3: her past, why do we even have on a show. 703 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,359 Speaker 3: But I think it's such a beautiful arc to say 704 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 3: her past is going to get her to her future. 705 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,239 Speaker 3: And I recently a friend of mine passed on a 706 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:30,319 Speaker 3: guy who's never been married, no kids, and I'm like, 707 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 3: that's that's not fair. Look at Debbie from my show, 708 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 3: never been married, no kids, she'd be a lovely partner. 709 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,040 Speaker 3: My brother has no children, married twice, no kids, no 710 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 3: red flag. There could be a fabulous stepfather. So I 711 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 3: think people are just kind of too judgmental. And we 712 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,479 Speaker 3: have just a certain list of things that we want 713 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,839 Speaker 3: and we're not going to vary outside of it. That's 714 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 3: why I really do think meeting in the wild is 715 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,840 Speaker 3: far better for me because I don't sometimes always know 716 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,439 Speaker 3: by divorce, no kids, you know data on someone where 717 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 3: you might pick that up in an app for sure. 718 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: Oh well, Cindy, I've got my radar out for you, 719 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: and if anyone's listening, please slide on into Cindy's DM. 720 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: Thank you Cindy for opening up about your journey in 721 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: chapter two, and we know you are going to find 722 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 1: love again, and I am super excited for you, and 723 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 1: I'm already thinking, I'm like, Okay, I have this one 724 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: guy friend that I think would just love you, So 725 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: maybe I'll be sliding in being like, hey, you do meet. 726 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 2: Come on over, come on over the water. 727 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,359 Speaker 3: The water's warm, and I'm ready to find love again. 728 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,800 Speaker 3: I believe it's out there for all of us in 729 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 3: different forms, so I can't wait to see what both 730 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 3: of our next chapters yield. 731 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,240 Speaker 1: You're so sweet. Thank you, Cindy. Are you like Cindy 732 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 1: and ready to find love in your chapter two? Call 733 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: us or email us. All the info is in the 734 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,839 Speaker 1: show notes and we are here to help follow us 735 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 1: on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast 736 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in 737 00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: love is the main objective. P