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Speaker 1: Mom tries to eliminate me from our family because my

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Speaker 1: wedding dress appointment was during her yoga.

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Speaker 2: Okay, John, you gotta admit yoga's important. You gotta achieve

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Speaker 2: spiritual enlightenment.

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Speaker 1: You know. I think we should take everything important in

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Speaker 1: the world, you know, appointing a new president, getting married,

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Speaker 1: and just put it all behind yoga, Like yoga is

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Speaker 1: clearly more important than than everything else in.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to do my downward dogs not their wedding

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Speaker 2: to a frog exactly.

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Speaker 1: No, No, no prince charming over here, Okay, sir, e

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Speaker 1: kissen no frogs today. So I female twenty nine, am

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Speaker 1: engaged to my fiance Mail thirty two. Congrats, congrats, and

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Speaker 1: we plan on having our wedding towards the end of

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Speaker 1: this year. We are so excited.

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Speaker 2: Baby, as you should be. But weddings are expensive. Hopefully

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Speaker 2: you get the credit cards the match.

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Speaker 1: That's true. You gotta get that current, baby, like current,

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Speaker 1: do you know, like Indian weddings or like a million

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Speaker 1: dollars a million USD Yeah, I mean, well not all

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Speaker 1: in Indian wedding right now all but like they can

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Speaker 1: keun up to that bill huge. I can imagine I

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Speaker 1: mean it's such there's there's so much that goes into it.

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Speaker 2: Like I have like friends of friends that will spend

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Speaker 2: spend like fifty percent of their net worth on a wedding,

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Speaker 2: big money. But dude, the party insane. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: that's crazy. That's a party of a lifetime.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, multiple days too, like a week sometimes. And together

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Speaker 1: We've planned most of the wedding and have organized all

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Speaker 1: the vendors except for buying the wedding dress. Now I

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Speaker 1: have started the process of looking for dresses, but most

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Speaker 1: bridal boutiques are fully booked into twenty twenty three to

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Speaker 1: accommodate all of the weddings that were postponed over the

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Speaker 1: past two years.

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Speaker 2: Holy Shmackally, that's a lot of weddings.

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Speaker 1: It's insane. But also it's like do you want to

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Speaker 1: have your wedding with no one there or in yeah,

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Speaker 1: the zoo room, Like I would never want that. I

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Speaker 1: would also join them at the party. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I'm wondering, like how many of those weddings that

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Speaker 2: were like scheduled for so far out and divorce or

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Speaker 2: just like stopped, Like how many weddings actually came through.

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Speaker 2: I wonder like if spots open up, you know, as

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Speaker 2: people are like, I don't know, I don't know about this.

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Speaker 1: Marriages that never were, marriages break apart, new new openings arise.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, calendar, he's got a hope. Yes, you got a hope,

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Speaker 2: or you got a schedule.

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Speaker 1: Now I have called every single boutique within driving distance

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Speaker 1: and have been put on every single waiting list. This

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Speaker 1: is dedication.

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Speaker 2: This Opie really wants to get married, really wants the

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Speaker 2: law to understand that they're in love.

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Speaker 1: Now. About a week ago, I received a call from

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Speaker 1: a local boutique telling me that someone had canceled their

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Speaker 1: appointment and a spot had opened up. If I would

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Speaker 1: like to take it, Hey, that marriage just fell apart. Nope,

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Speaker 1: he's taken advantage of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, like I say, if a spot opens up,

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Speaker 2: there the relationship failed.

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Speaker 1: That is the real question. That is the real But

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Speaker 1: it must be right, Like, that's the only option. Why

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Speaker 1: else would you cancel your bridal dress wedding appointment?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, unless you are unless maybe you find another dress.

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Speaker 1: Or maybe you just went like total countercultural and you

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Speaker 1: decided to wear like a pantsuit. Yeah that's a move,

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Speaker 1: that's a move. It's badass. Now or nude or nude? Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's that's really all the guests have to be nude. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I would watch a documentary on that. I think there

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Speaker 1: are documentaries if you go to the Hub you can

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Speaker 1: watch Did somebody order an extra large ring? Oh? My?

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Speaker 1: We're family friendly? Except we are now. The only catch

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Speaker 1: of disappointment is that it will be early in the morning,

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Speaker 1: as most boutiques have extended their business hours to accommodate

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Speaker 1: as many people as possible. Now, with current restrictions, the

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Speaker 1: boutique only allows for me to bring one guest, So

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Speaker 1: I phoned my mom fifty two female, to invite her

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Speaker 1: along as one. Does you know? Yeah? You want? You

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Speaker 1: want mom to support you? Yeah? Who else? Who else?

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Speaker 1: Would you bring your dog? Your dog? Why is it

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Speaker 1: weird that I frog your dog too? Like? Or maybe

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Speaker 1: you're like your your your barber or your neighbor's cousin. Dude?

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Speaker 2: All right, every time of barber gets brought up, I

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Speaker 2: would invite Andrew, my barber tells Barbershop to my wedding.

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Speaker 2: He did, he did everything right, He's got the talk down,

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Speaker 2: he's got the cut down. Andrew from Tells Barbershop is

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Speaker 2: the freaking man. I would invite you Andrew to my wedding.

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Speaker 1: It's where we're we're marking it now. But the question

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Speaker 1: is does he have power to say yes to the

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Speaker 1: dress though? That's oh he does. He has full license

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Speaker 1: on the dress. He came to the hair to match. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

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Speaker 1: If I trust him with my hair, I trust him

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Speaker 1: with that wedding dress. That makes sense. Yeah, he also

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Speaker 1: has the power to like object, you know, Like it

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, does anyone does anyone you know I

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Speaker 1: want to say something or forever whole their peace. I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at Andrew first. Yeah, this this man has been

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Speaker 1: given all the power in you. He's basically getting married.

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Speaker 1: He wears the pants. Yeah, he wears for sure. Now

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Speaker 1: this is an event I would really like to share

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Speaker 1: with my mom, and she's always told me that she'd

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Speaker 1: like to be there. You mean getting married, getting married,

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Speaker 1: getting married to your mom saying yes. Now that's a

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Speaker 1: Reddit story. I'm married to my mom. Redditors worldwide, please

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Speaker 1: submit that story. I promise you. I want to hear

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Speaker 1: that getting married to your mom. We will marry that,

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Speaker 1: we will marry that story. I will read that story.

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Speaker 1: I can see it.

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Speaker 2: Where it's like okay, like op got adopted. They meet

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Speaker 2: this older woman, fall in love. They are doing ancestry

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Speaker 2: dot com. Realize it's my mom. It's the long lost

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Speaker 2: mom situation.

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Speaker 1: We've all been there. We've all been there, Mommy, Mommy. Now. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: as she reminded me, this appointment happens to coincide with

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Speaker 1: the worst thing it possibly could. Oh. No, her weekly

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Speaker 1: yoga class. Weekly.

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Speaker 2: You can't miss one of those, because if you miss

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Speaker 2: that routine, then your old routine falls apart before you

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Speaker 2: know it. You're not doing your downward dogs, you're not

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Speaker 2: doing your upward cats, you're not doing your your frogless legs.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. Because the thing is Sam she has been attending

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Speaker 1: these for twenty years straight.

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Speaker 2: She's not about to miss one. Oh hell, you know

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Speaker 2: she flexible as hell. Hey hey, hey, honestly, you you

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Speaker 2: are give her my number? Come on, yeah, you are.

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Speaker 1: You're bending over backwards to get to this woman.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, oh good, I please, hey, call me, call

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Speaker 2: me now. I had explained that the boutique had me

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Speaker 2: on a waiting list and I did not choose this

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Speaker 2: appointment time. But my mom feels that I didn't push

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Speaker 2: them hard enough.

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Speaker 1: Hey, the whole point of yoga is just the feel

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Speaker 1: it out. You don't you don't push, You'll let you'll

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Speaker 1: let the energy flow through you like a like a

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Speaker 1: like a nice glass of wine on in a chateau

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Speaker 1: in France overlooking the vineyard. I think of that scene

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Speaker 1: in The Incredibles where Missus Incredible is like, you need

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Speaker 1: to be more flexible, dude, this is incredible. She can

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Speaker 1: get it. She has the dumper of the century. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. And you know, like it's like really ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: I mean she can stretch everything. She has a regulation

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Speaker 1: sized dump truck. Yeah, she could stimulate everything at the

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Speaker 1: same time. She really could. Though, that is Pixar. We

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Speaker 1: know what you did. We know and we know what

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Speaker 1: you're doing with those three D models behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: late nights at the Pixar studios. What she doing, what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. This is incredible. So so I phoned the

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Speaker 1: boutique back and they said that I could either go

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Speaker 1: back on the waiting list or I could attend the

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Speaker 1: appointment they gave me. She has a wedding to go to.

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Speaker 1: You can't go back on the waiting list. We ain't

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Speaker 1: getting a lot of options over here. Yeah, mama, move

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Speaker 1: your yoga. They said this was their only available appointment,

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Speaker 1: so I confirmed I would attend. There's no option, there's

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Speaker 1: no other there's no other option. This is the only option.

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Speaker 1: So I then phoned my mom back to let her know,

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Speaker 1: and she again declined, saying that I should know the

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Speaker 1: time of her class after twenty years. Dude, Opie's mom sucks.

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Speaker 1: She's probably very good at yoga, though she sucks at

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Speaker 1: being a person, but she's amazing at yoga. Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also it's like every pose. Also, it's like, shouldn't you

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Speaker 1: know after all the years of my life that I'm

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Speaker 1: getting married and I need a dress? I guess not.

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Speaker 1: I guess not.

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Speaker 2: What's honestly like for someone who should be very flexible,

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Speaker 2: her schedule is not very flexible, dude.

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Speaker 1: Her her schedule needs some some goat pilates. Yeah, massage

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Speaker 1: it out, you know what I mean. She's the hit

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Speaker 1: some of the possanas. Ooh yeah, I know yoga. I

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Speaker 1: did a core power lesson clearly an expert over here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got a yoga met yep. I went to yoga

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Speaker 1: with my mom. So I decided to invite my soon

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Speaker 1: to be mother in law in my mom's place, saddle

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Speaker 1: of the mother's which mom is gonna win? The law

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Speaker 1: mom or the bio mom. Mom's gone wild. One's flexible, well,

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Speaker 1: one's flexible enough to do the downward dog, and one's

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Speaker 1: flexible enough to fit it in, fit it all in

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Speaker 1: her schedule. Who's gonna come out on top? Oh my god, Wow, Wow,

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Speaker 1: there was so much in there. There's a new series

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Speaker 1: coming to an okop near you.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Mom gone wild. My pants are are pitched and

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Speaker 2: wet right now, about to go camping ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: Now, this caused a huge rift with my parents, and

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Speaker 1: they said that I was excluding my mom from a

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Speaker 1: special experience. And get this showing my true colors. Okay, uh,

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Speaker 1: the only color that needs to be here is white

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Speaker 1: because of the wedding dress. Yes, one two. She gave

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Speaker 1: the opportunity multiple times, We had options here, what's the deal?

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Speaker 1: Come on?

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Speaker 2: Come on, like like, literally, just don't go to the

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Speaker 2: yoga session, go to the wedding or I mean the wedding.

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Speaker 1: The bridal, the dress, appointment at disappointment. It's pretty simple. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like how she she won't even bother going to

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Speaker 1: the effort of like rescheduling or finding another yoga appointment.

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, you must rearrange this thing that people

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Speaker 1: have been waiting two years for. I can't rearrange this thing.

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Speaker 1: I do. No, not the weekly yoga session. Now, all

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Speaker 1: of this while my fiance and my future in laws

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Speaker 1: feel that I gave my mom the first choice and

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Speaker 1: it was her decision to decline. Yo.

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Speaker 2: Mom was first round draft pick for this dress session,

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Speaker 2: and as of right now, my parents have said that

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Speaker 2: they will not be attending the wedding.

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Speaker 1: That feels like a little bit over the line. It

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Speaker 1: really does, and like she should be able to buy

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Speaker 1: what she wants when she freaking wants to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if only she had Current to buy what she

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Speaker 2: needs exactly.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we were able to buy these wigs with

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Speaker 1: our Current card. That wig looks sexy as heck. Bro Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm rocking it. You on fire? I am? And you

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Speaker 1: know what else is on fire? Sam our audience's wallets,

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Speaker 1: because one person watching this that signs up for Current

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Speaker 1: is about to get two hundred and fifty dollars to

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Speaker 1: shop for themselves. Ooh, that's like a tenth of a

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Speaker 1: bridle dress. Maybe. Oh yeah, I don't know the bridal economy,

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Speaker 1: but I know that you'll get money you sign up.

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Speaker 1: So all you have to do is sign up to

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Speaker 1: current with Codo Kop and Current will get you four

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Speaker 1: percent on your savings. Like it's a no brainer, no brainer,

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Speaker 1: get that money, y'all. That's right. Check out the biolink.

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Speaker 1: So I am now, honestly at a crossroads. I am

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Speaker 1: so grateful that my mother in law can't attend and

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Speaker 1: we can share something special, But I would hate for

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Speaker 1: my parents to miss my wet because they feel so excluded.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think most people would hate if

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Speaker 2: their parents miss their wedding, unless you have a terrible

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Speaker 2: relationship with your parents, which it sounds like it's developing

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Speaker 2: in this situation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe this is like a blessing and discision.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you don't want your parents there, Maybe they should

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Speaker 2: go do yoga.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're not attending the wedding until it's a yoga wedding.

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Speaker 1: It must be hot and have goats. I really like

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Speaker 1: the harping on the goat. The goat yoga, like yo

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Speaker 1: yoga would be sick a goat yoga themed? What's a thing?

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Speaker 1: Goat yoga? Goat like goat yoga goat yoga wedding. Though,

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Speaker 1: goat yoga wedding that is uncharted, terarian, Okay, that is

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Speaker 1: what you want. Maybe that's like our next business ventures

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Speaker 1: creating hot goat yoga weddings. Wow, it's like to be explored.

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Speaker 1: It's really something special. I'm excited now. My mom has

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Speaker 1: told me that she will use this experience as an

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Speaker 1: indicator of how I will behave for the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life. Yeah, reverse udo her.

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Speaker 2: You know you know I'm gonna use this experience as

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Speaker 2: a way to judge you for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: So bam. Honestly, that is the most reasonable thing we've

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Speaker 1: heard in this entire story. And and my mom says

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Speaker 1: that she is clearly lowered down on the priority list

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Speaker 1: than my future in laws.

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Speaker 2: Damn straight, after pulling some shit like this, though your

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Speaker 2: bottom of the totem pole, you haven't even made the

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Speaker 2: totem pole. You're underground, center of the earth, dissolving in

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Speaker 2: a vat of malten lava.

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Speaker 1: Dude, in under under the totem pole dirt. That's that's

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Speaker 1: not a good place. Yeah, you should be buried in

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Speaker 1: the ground dead, six feet under. Tried doing yoga there,

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Speaker 1: mom burn Now. Now, she also says that she feels

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Speaker 1: that I vindictively chose the appointment time to purposefully exclude her.

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Speaker 1: Skip your yoga. It's that simple, and she had no choice.

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Speaker 1: She literally tried and they said, this is it, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand. This is ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: This is like you know, there's like multiple yoga sessions

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Speaker 2: a day and a week. Yes, like most studios. She's

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Speaker 2: like to hope, but I really want to go to Jeff.

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Speaker 2: Jeff just knows how to push me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to. We need to figure out what's

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Speaker 1: going on with Jeff over here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Jeff's putting is the lammie in between

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Speaker 2: those but bastinas and those that were dogs. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: just say Jeff and Mama the wind doggie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a downward doggie. She does not want

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Speaker 1: to see her mom doing. Now, the question is am

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Speaker 1: I the a hole for not trying harder to include

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Speaker 1: my mom and our special mother daughter moments?

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Speaker 2: No, not at all, not at all, Like this is

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Speaker 2: this is totally on the mom Like yeah, completely, I

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Speaker 2: there's like like also Opie was trying to be considerate too,

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Speaker 2: and like trying to present different options.

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Speaker 1: But it seems like she was trying to do everything

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Speaker 1: she could. But there is an update. Updates. So the

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Speaker 1: morning of the appoint I meant, my mother in law

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Speaker 1: and I were dropped off at the bridal boutique by

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Speaker 1: my fiance and to my surprise, my mom had skipped

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Speaker 1: her yoga class and was waiting outside for us. What

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Speaker 1: is this, prank? Dude? This is what is this? What's

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Speaker 1: going on? My mom told me that she is still

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Speaker 1: happy to attend the appointment despite everything that I have

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Speaker 1: put her through and what has OP put her through.

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Speaker 2: Come on, this is this is fucking gas lighting right here.

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Speaker 2: You think it's bad, it gets weird. Oh, this gas

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Speaker 2: is about to be lit, my friendank.

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Speaker 1: God. She then told my mother in law that she

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Speaker 1: was free to leave, and my mom announced that she

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Speaker 1: will be paying for any dress I choose to signify

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Speaker 1: her importance as mother of the bride. Mom is so

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Speaker 1: insecure right now, bro, dude, this is just the levels

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Speaker 1: of insecurity are off her hearts. Good God. Also, how

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Speaker 1: rude like you can go now? So rude after after

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Speaker 1: all that you did to her, And.

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Speaker 2: You'd think she'd be spiritually enlightened after all those yoga poses,

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Speaker 2: but I guess not.

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Speaker 1: You would think this is the most closed off like

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Speaker 1: yoga freak of all times. Yeah, dude, come on now.

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Speaker 1: Before I could even open my mouth to respond, my

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Speaker 1: fiance was telling my mom that she was not welcome

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Speaker 1: at the appointment and we did not need her money.

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Speaker 1: You think we need this, mom, you think we need Look, okay,

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Speaker 1: we got money. Okay. Also been a little like presumptuous

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Speaker 1: of the fiance to tell the mom off. It's a

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Speaker 1: bold move.

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Speaker 2: The don't know O could pay off or it could

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Speaker 2: not pay at all. She might be in the doghouse

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Speaker 2: for a little bit of fiance.

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Speaker 1: I stepped in and I told my mom that she

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Speaker 1: rejected two invitations to attend and that her own actions

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Speaker 1: had caused all of her own stress. True, dude, true,

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Speaker 1: just a fact. Yeah. I also said that I was

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Speaker 1: trying on dresses with my mother in law because she

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Speaker 1: has acted like more of a mother to me than

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Speaker 1: my mom ever has.

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Speaker 2: She just went there, dude, that is a deep, deep burn. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's third degree. You're looking like a deadpool after those burns.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. That's how about that gaslighting mom? For whole body exactly?

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Speaker 1: On fire, but my fiance made sure that she left

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Speaker 1: before leaving himself, and after a few tears, I had

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Speaker 1: a wonderful time with my mother in law. I mean great, great,

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Speaker 1: I guess ending, but you're just like I feel like

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Speaker 1: the relationship with the mother is kind of if fucked

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Speaker 1: not looking good. Yeah. I have since learned that my

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Speaker 1: mother in law was raised in an emotionally abusive home,

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Speaker 1: and so she's very understanding to these type of things. Now,

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Speaker 1: unfortunately I was not able to find address at that boutique.

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Speaker 1: Oh but I know it was all for nothing. It

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Speaker 1: was all for nothing. But uh, my fiance and I

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Speaker 1: have decided to get married in court with my in

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Speaker 1: laws as witnesses, so it was even more for nothing.

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Speaker 2: Literally, they didn't get a dressed and they're not even

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Speaker 2: getting really married.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I guess they're getting married, but they're having

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Speaker 1: the party. Come on, two years of waiting to get

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Speaker 1: married in court, Like, honestly, what are we doing here? Guys? Oh?

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Speaker 1: This is I fucking I hate this. I hate this.

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Speaker 1: This is kind of terrible all around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, at least hopefully you know they're

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Speaker 2: spending their money in the right places and uh, and

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Speaker 2: paying for that court wedding with a snazzy new current

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Speaker 2: credit card but bam or debit card.

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Speaker 1: Current debit card, current card too sleek for your freaks sleeps.

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Speaker 1: And so with this decision, my mother in law has

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Speaker 1: offered her own wedding dress for the occasion, so she

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Speaker 1: stop using the mother in law's wedding dress. I guess

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Speaker 1: like the good part is you know peing mother in

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Speaker 1: law got closer exactly this That side of the family

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Speaker 1: is looking great. It's the other side that's not looking

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Speaker 1: Apparently she wanted to offer it sooner, but ironically didn't

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Speaker 1: want to step on my mom's toes. Oh toes have

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Speaker 1: been stepped on and completely obliterating feet are crushed. Now

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Speaker 1: we have been able to recover the deposits from most

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Speaker 1: of our vendors and told all the guests that we

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Speaker 1: decided on a smaller wedding instead, and everyone has been

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Speaker 1: very understanding, aside from my mom. She insists, says she

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Speaker 1: always intended on going bridle shopping with me and had

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Speaker 1: told me that she had a conflicting schedule because she

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Speaker 1: wanted to surprise me on the day. Oh shut up,

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Speaker 1: this is off bullshit, So dumb now my mom says

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Speaker 1: that she only became upset when I invited someone else

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Speaker 1: along before confirming that she could make it after she

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Speaker 1: denied it twice. What is she supposed to do? My

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Speaker 1: mom is, as far as I'm aware, trying to have

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Speaker 1: me kicked out of the family by spreading the story

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Speaker 1: that all my behavior has been a vindictive plot against her.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, this mom sucks. God. Now, thankfully, everyone

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Speaker 1: still seems to be quite happy, including me. And the

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Speaker 1: truth is, my mom has always guilt tripped and emotionally

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Speaker 1: blackmailed me, but it has taken me a long time

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Speaker 1: to recognize that most families don't operate like mine. This

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Speaker 1: is unusual. Damn straight, this is not the norm, and

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Speaker 1: to be honest, I am tired of it all. For now,

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Speaker 1: I have a wonderful fiance who has been so supportive

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Speaker 1: and his family, who I love. My parents have been

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Speaker 1: officially told that they are not welcome at the wedding

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Speaker 1: and I haven't heard much from them since. Ohh she's

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Speaker 1: barring them from the wedding. Now that has the tables

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Speaker 1: have turned. I felt like the dad slooped into yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the dad just caught the shrapnel I'm sorry dad. In

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Speaker 1: the end, I don't think they ever expected me to

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Speaker 1: recognize their behavior and actually stand up for myself. Great

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Speaker 1: op for standing up for yourself, but I really feel

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Speaker 1: bad for the dad, who's like not even mentioned in

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Speaker 1: this story but seems like totally got the raw end

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Speaker 1: of the stick. I think I think it was kind

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Speaker 1: of like both of the parents that were like, we

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Speaker 1: don't like definitely the mom is like the instigator here

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Speaker 1: for sure, but the dad's like not saying anything. The

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Speaker 1: dad's not like going against it, and I think he's

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Speaker 1: kind of just like going along with everything. That classic

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Speaker 1: like what terrible. Get a new mom. That's our advice.

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Speaker 1: That's our advice.