Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage.
Speaker 1: You claim and give us time and they terminol and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off instart. Do wanna welcome
Speaker 1: you back home? Tell us all about every scared or
Speaker 1: was it fine?
Speaker 2: Mal porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need ride?
Speaker 3: Ride with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need
Speaker 3: a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Tilgareth.
Speaker 3: Karen is currently and I'm not getting crimping her eyelashes,
Speaker 3: curling them with one of those clockwork orange keep me
Speaker 3: up all night to watch horrible things so I can
Speaker 3: rehabilitate scissors. They have scissors as the handle. I have
Speaker 3: tried them before I had an older sister, and I've
Speaker 3: found that if they don't have the little rubber gasket
Speaker 3: on them, Oh yeah, they will pinch your lid to
Speaker 3: the point of bleeding.
Speaker 1: Oh you, oh know, yeah, you print yourself.
Speaker 3: I mean, who knows where I'd be today gender wise
Speaker 3: and pronoun wise had I not been scaryfully in the eyelid.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know what, this drag thing isn't for me?
Speaker 3: That hurt Like hell, it.
Speaker 4: Is hard to be a woman. We all know that,
Speaker 4: but I mean some people don't realize. My cousin, Lisa,
Speaker 4: she used to separate. She'd put on mascara and then
Speaker 4: separate her eyelashes with a needle so that it would,
Speaker 4: you know, because it was clumpy. This is a This
Speaker 4: was back in the late late seventies where there was
Speaker 4: really no advancements in female mascara, but to get very clumpy,
Speaker 4: so she'd go back over it with a needle.
Speaker 3: People say, stick a needle in my eye because they
Speaker 3: know that will never happen because a needle is never
Speaker 3: near your eye.
Speaker 4: However, Lisa, Lisa, who didn't mind a drug that was scary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that person.
Speaker 3: Should not have stopped in the road.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: I think people buy Jettas and they think, hey, I'm
Speaker 4: going to go really go for it on sunset.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad bought me this Jetta. It's all going
Speaker 1: to be different now.
Speaker 3: Someone did a song called all my ex girlfriends drive
Speaker 3: black Jettas. Who I can't black jettas. I don't remember
Speaker 3: dead milk. It sounds milk. It sounds milk. Many because
Speaker 3: it's about a car and.
Speaker 1: It has a story. Yeah, there's a storyline.
Speaker 3: It may have been. You might be right, God, I
Speaker 3: love let us know if you remember, uh.
Speaker 1: Or if you're a dead milkman, I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: from you.
Speaker 3: And uh, I guess this is something we should do
Speaker 3: right at the start. Karen, I don't know if you
Speaker 3: know this, but we have a sponsor for this. Oh
Speaker 3: and this is real, This is a real thing.
Speaker 2: This isn't real.
Speaker 1: Haha.
Speaker 3: We're driving by Taco Bell. Taco Bell, we give you diarrhea.
Speaker 3: And do you need to write a I could have
Speaker 3: come up with a better one if Taco Bell was
Speaker 3: a real sponsor, and would I would have? Yet? You
Speaker 3: know what I'll do for money?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: About everything? Oh yeah, but it's hard to get the
Speaker 3: motivation to look for a sponsor or. Look, you know,
Speaker 3: turn this into a business if you haven't had a
Speaker 3: decent night's sleep. But the good people at Parachute Home
Speaker 3: have given me the best sheets I think I've ever
Speaker 3: ever worn, and I wear them on my mattress. But
Speaker 3: I you kind of are wearing them as you sleep.
Speaker 3: The Parachute, and they're made in Venice, where I live.
Speaker 3: I've been wanting to look around to see if the
Speaker 3: building is nearby me. Oh, they're local, They are local,
Speaker 3: and you know they cause great sleep, Caaren, I don't
Speaker 3: know if you know. This starts with the sheets, and
Speaker 3: Parachute has created a line of everyday betting essentials, from
Speaker 3: sheets to do ved comforters, comforters and comforters to give
Speaker 3: you superior sleep.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: And here's the thing about the stuff they sent me,
Speaker 3: it was like in a nice arrangement. I opened the
Speaker 3: box and it was like it was as if a
Speaker 3: cook at a four star restaurant had arranged everything, and
Speaker 3: it was all tied with twine, and there was a
Speaker 3: little letter handwritten that said thank you personally. It was
Speaker 3: really nice. And you know, the betting's made of one
Speaker 3: hundred percent long staple Egyptian cor.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the good stuff.
Speaker 3: Hey. It's manufactured in a mill in Tuscany that sounds
Speaker 3: to Italy weaving betting for nearly eighty years. This mill,
Speaker 3: it's probably been around forever and then shipped straight to
Speaker 3: your door. And it did come right to my door.
Speaker 3: Parachute cuts out the licensing and the distribution fees so
Speaker 3: you can experience high quality betting for less. And if
Speaker 3: you mentioned this is kind of cool. If you mention
Speaker 3: go to parachute home dot com slash ride, use the
Speaker 3: promo code ride, and Parachute will give you twenty five
Speaker 3: dollars off on your first order by mentioning you, yeah,
Speaker 3: we're paying you to listen to us.
Speaker 1: Basically, that's kind of awesome.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get those sheets right while you sleep.
Speaker 3: The only other way to get paid while you sleep
Speaker 3: is to knock out your teeth and put them under
Speaker 3: your pillow, or to be hoore, or to be some
Speaker 3: sort of a licensed hour sleeping wore.
Speaker 4: So you've received them, I'm going to get mine and
Speaker 4: then we're gonna we're going to sleep on them, and
Speaker 4: then we're going to come back with the results.
Speaker 3: I've I've already. They are just they feel great like
Speaker 3: a lot of times, Oh there's a man in the road,
Speaker 3: but he's limping a lot of times. You know. They
Speaker 3: people talk about thread count.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's very important.
Speaker 3: Apparently it isn't. It's a marketing gimmick.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 3: You can read about it at parachutes blog. Uh and
Speaker 3: and they tell you about thread count not necessarily being
Speaker 3: that because I've bought high thread count sheets and they
Speaker 3: were like silk underwear or something. I thought they're going
Speaker 3: to rip. They weren't high quality.
Speaker 1: About the cotton that you're using.
Speaker 3: It is more about the cotton. And if you can
Speaker 3: get it out of Tuscany, come on, go to Parachute
Speaker 3: dot com.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Mentioned ride and uh yeah.
Speaker 1: Cool, We've got a sponsor.
Speaker 3: I hope.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: I mean, i'd like to think what I just did
Speaker 3: will entice them to, you know, continue to sponsor d Any.
Speaker 4: I think it's pretty good. For the first time ever
Speaker 4: doing an ad, and it was pretty good.
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing. I wanted it to be the
Speaker 3: first commercial on our podcast to seem conversational, right. I
Speaker 3: don't think any believe it or not. And you know,
Speaker 3: because you were sitting here, I was reading all that
Speaker 3: that was not memorized, and I know it seemed like
Speaker 3: it was just coming out of my mouth, but that
Speaker 3: was all information.
Speaker 1: Amazing. You did a pretty great job.
Speaker 3: But they are, Yeah, they're very nice. They're very nice.
Speaker 1: I love a nice sheet. I mean it is you know,
Speaker 1: it's all about.
Speaker 3: That prior to this, because they look flashy. I bought
Speaker 3: some off brand at Ross. You know, don't get bedding
Speaker 3: just because it looks shiny. I got some silk or
Speaker 3: satin sheets because they were silver, and I get in bed.
Speaker 3: I slide right off the.
Speaker 1: Other end cause they were silver.
Speaker 3: They're so slippery. I put my head. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: this will keep my hair, you know, I like to
Speaker 3: put my hair up in curlers. My head just slides
Speaker 3: off the pillow. I'm risking neck injury.
Speaker 1: Yes, don't do that.
Speaker 3: No, you won't get that with parachute.
Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, so beautiful, very excited. I am too.
Speaker 1: I think we're a real podcast.
Speaker 3: Now and it feels yeah, And I'm a real grown
Speaker 3: up because I usually, you know, sheets are one of
Speaker 3: the last things I think about, but it makes such
Speaker 3: a huge difference when you're sleeping, for that comfort to
Speaker 3: be there.
Speaker 1: Okay, I I think you've given them everything.
Speaker 3: Well now I'm just talking on my own behalf about
Speaker 3: my sleep cycle.
Speaker 1: We'll stop it.
Speaker 3: Sleep cycle is also an app. You put it on
Speaker 3: your bed. They let you know when you're in rem state.
Speaker 1: And while we're at it, what's your sleep number?
Speaker 3: Well, you know how I like to jump on the
Speaker 3: bed while my lady friend drinks wine.
Speaker 1: Shit, I can't go in this way.
Speaker 3: Oh god, don't that'll.
Speaker 1: Get me into some weird spot, won't it. Yeah? Fuckers
Speaker 1: it worse.
Speaker 3: Nope, Nope, you're doing fine. That was how you get
Speaker 3: to Dodgers Stadium.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 4: We're on the five South right now and there's I mean,
Speaker 4: there's just a lot of choices because they're trying to
Speaker 4: get to Johnny Pemberton's house.
Speaker 3: We are going to pick up Johnny Pemberton. I'm very
Speaker 3: excited to have him on the podcast. I've been wanting
Speaker 3: him on the podcast because he just is the hilarious.
Speaker 2: He's the best.
Speaker 1: He's a sweet guy.
Speaker 3: And he have you seen him host with Josh Fatum
Speaker 3: that show?
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 3: It's the best.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 3: Yeah he I thought he was just doing it with
Speaker 3: his voice, but he had like a little modifier and
Speaker 3: he does this whoa for his old cowboy ex country star?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and it took I watched the whole show.
Speaker 3: I'm like, whoever that is? He's hilarious. I didn't know
Speaker 3: it was. Johnny had sunglasses on, so I know, I
Speaker 3: know now that just hearing the tone of his voice
Speaker 3: isn't dependent on his comedy.
Speaker 4: Well, I personally loved Johnny Pemperton because I've before I
Speaker 4: met him in real life.
Speaker 1: I saw him in movies and.
Speaker 4: He usually plays a kid or like a high school
Speaker 4: student or something.
Speaker 3: He's a person that looks younger than his age.
Speaker 1: He looks very young.
Speaker 3: You were probably gonna.
Speaker 1: Say people a lot like he's a fair BANX.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's got you just don't want to get off
Speaker 3: this g D freeway g Demon Priest is Christ.
Speaker 4: But uh, when you meet him in real life, he's
Speaker 4: incredibly intelligent and very mature.
Speaker 1: It's not like he's like some kid like person.
Speaker 3: He comes from.
Speaker 1: Now we're on another family. Oh yeah, yeah, his father's
Speaker 1: a famous doctor.
Speaker 3: His father held me I had some bowel issues. I
Speaker 3: don't want to go into detail, but it was scary
Speaker 3: what was happening. And UH talked to him on the phone.
Speaker 3: He connected me with his dad, and the dad he said,
Speaker 3: don't worry. See this guy I went to saw his friend.
Speaker 3: That guy was a doctor also.
Speaker 1: Luckily, thank god.
Speaker 2: And uh he.
Speaker 3: Looked, uh looked in there and said, you're fine.
Speaker 2: You just got some.
Speaker 3: Fissures and fistulas, you know, stuff like that. That's what's
Speaker 3: causing the belief.
Speaker 1: I think you have gone into detail about this.
Speaker 3: Well you know, I wasn't gonna and then once once
Speaker 3: I go there, yeah, you're gone. Yeah once.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I have to get back to it. It's quite to
Speaker 1: get back to where we're supposed to go.
Speaker 3: Yes, he said, uh, take your time.
Speaker 1: So I think I got a.
Speaker 3: Green light here. Sorry, I'm sorry. I won't do that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no anymore.
Speaker 3: That seem kind of passive.
Speaker 1: Uh wait, I just have to look.
Speaker 3: This mat oh, of course.
Speaker 4: But anyway, and he also has his own podcast called
Speaker 4: Twisting in the Wind.
Speaker 3: I want to say, oh, do you promise me we're
Speaker 3: gonna drive on the sidewalk? Here, we're on the sidewalk, now.
Speaker 1: Do you want to drive down the sidewalk a little bit?
Speaker 3: Well, if we just go between those poles, I'll think
Speaker 3: you're pretty badass.
Speaker 4: Okay, but I have to jump back on the five
Speaker 4: and then I just need to fow what my exit
Speaker 4: is and we'll be all set.
Speaker 3: We're taking Johnny tonight to a show at the UCB Sunset,
Speaker 3: the new UCB Theater. You're also on the pro I
Speaker 3: am if I'm not mistaken. I was asked to be
Speaker 3: on it. Did you know that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: And I did not reply because I'm a poor businessman. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but maybe I can get on. What if we're all
Speaker 3: on the show?
Speaker 1: I bet you could. I do that all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm the worst.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I actually got booked for the future a future date. WHOA,
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 1: I think that was an undercover cop that just passed us. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: because I was going to do a fool on U
Speaker 1: turn right in front.
Speaker 2: Of his face right now.
Speaker 3: They don't like that, not when you're all blatant about it.
Speaker 3: At least, Honestly, I think the police do appreciate it
Speaker 3: when you try and do things when they're not looking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, just don't get us involved.
Speaker 3: I've had enough cop stop and go. You had to
Speaker 3: do that right in front of me. I'm like, what
Speaker 3: are you talking about? Man? Can you hold this water pipe?
Speaker 1: Cool? Man?
Speaker 3: Hey? Cop?
Speaker 1: Do you vape? I had a friend whose brother got
Speaker 1: pulled over.
Speaker 4: It was five guys in a car and they were
Speaker 4: smoking a bong in the car.
Speaker 1: This was like ten fifteen years ago.
Speaker 4: The Arabia Brothers wonderful men, really love them, but they
Speaker 4: were doing that and a cop pulled them over.
Speaker 1: The guy says, give me that bong.
Speaker 4: He takes the bong back to his car, him and
Speaker 4: his partner rip some bong hits way and then they
Speaker 4: come back to the carcase. They don't do that anymore.
Speaker 3: What city? What's this?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: I think San Diego because that's where CJ's from. It
Speaker 1: was CJ Arabia's.
Speaker 4: Brothers like, yeah, I love that story.
Speaker 3: And they've watched them do the bong rips.
Speaker 1: Yes, they all thought they were getting arrested. They were
Speaker 1: like freaking.
Speaker 3: Out, Oh, that's amazing, And.
Speaker 4: Instead the cops are like, we'll get high too, and
Speaker 4: then let's just all walk away.
Speaker 3: And then I wonder if cops get high and then
Speaker 3: they get paranoid and start to think that regular.
Speaker 4: People are cops or that they're gonna turn their partners
Speaker 4: are gonna turn on them and arrest them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that'd be kind of awesome because that's what
Speaker 3: happens to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone's a.
Speaker 3: Cop, Everyone is a cop. Everyone's out to get me.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: I wonder what my bank account is doing that kind
Speaker 3: of thing. I got a loose enough. Maybe it's uh,
Speaker 3: I'm hitting the sativa, I should be hitting an indica.
Speaker 4: Well, I think though I had to do the exact
Speaker 4: same thing. I stopped smoking because everything just became very
Speaker 4: doom and gloom. It was like, uh, even I mean,
Speaker 4: I have plenty to stress out about, but even when
Speaker 4: I wasn't, like, didn't have something to actively stress out about,
Speaker 4: it was just like a no thing is that it's
Speaker 4: all bad? You know what I mean, Like it just
Speaker 4: left me. That's the paranoia part.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it hits you all of a sudden, like
Speaker 3: I've had a summer where I'm like, I could get
Speaker 3: into this. This is healthier than being a drunk person. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it helps you be creative, but it's pretty stifling for
Speaker 3: me to just get scared about life and my breathing,
Speaker 3: which is what happens exactly. Is this normal breathing? Is
Speaker 3: my neck closing in my esophagees?
Speaker 1: Yep? Is this how I really die? I remember one
Speaker 1: time playing dominoes with Jeremy Kramer. Did you ever do
Speaker 1: comedy with Jeremy Kramer?
Speaker 3: I remember Jeremy Kramer.
Speaker 4: He's the He's the San Francisco legend. He's one of
Speaker 4: the funniest people that's ever lived.
Speaker 3: When I met you. When I first met you and
Speaker 3: comedy was happening in a laundromat, Jeremy Kramer was there.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, and I was.
Speaker 3: I was with Howard Kramer, and immediately I was like, Man,
Speaker 3: this Los Angeles city is going to be confusing.
Speaker 1: There's multiple Kramer, There's so many Kramers.
Speaker 4: I was playing dominoes with him one time and took
Speaker 4: too many hits a pot and thought I was having
Speaker 4: a heart attack. And at one point just looked at
Speaker 4: him and said, I I think I think something's wrong.
Speaker 1: I think I'm having a heart attack.
Speaker 4: And he just looked at me and goes, do you
Speaker 4: want me to take you to the emergency room?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: You right know?
Speaker 3: Oh that's terrific.
Speaker 1: It was the perfect like, I mean, that's all.
Speaker 3: You need is that's Yeah, That's the only thing that'll
Speaker 3: kick you out of paranoia is a con ascending tone. Yes,
Speaker 3: Oh do you want me to call the whambulence?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It's hard to know where we are at.
Speaker 1: I know, well, you know what it is.
Speaker 4: It's like Johnny lives under five different freeways.
Speaker 1: So but we're very close. We are very close close.
Speaker 3: Indeed, Yeah, I'm sorry, I was feeling. I was looking
Speaker 3: at the apparatus here and how's your apparati lowan battery?
Speaker 3: I thought I put in new batteries last time. Oh
Speaker 3: there's so much to remember just in life. No, I know,
Speaker 3: believe me, there's not enough time in the day.
Speaker 4: No, there really isn't, although I do manage to lay
Speaker 4: around and do nothing and spend.
Speaker 3: In defense of the idea, there was plenty of time
Speaker 3: today for me to buy batteries. In fact, I was
Speaker 3: at the store and I looked at the batteries and
Speaker 3: thought it would be a good idea to get those
Speaker 3: as back up.
Speaker 4: I do that all the time, and then I think
Speaker 4: that that's the first thought. That's like, that's my responsible
Speaker 4: adult thought.
Speaker 1: And my next thought is, well, do it later. It'll
Speaker 1: be fun later, is like the reasoning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because it'll be fun. Yeah, you'll be looking
Speaker 3: forward to it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, as opposed to know you're twenty minutes late for everything.
Speaker 4: You're just adding something onto your to do list.
Speaker 3: I'm that's me. That's me. I put things off. That's
Speaker 3: how I function.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. It feels good. Just so you know.
Speaker 1: I had breakfast with Greg Barrent this morning. Oh, yes,
Speaker 1: and great, he's great. He's done with chemotherapy.
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 4: If anyone out there knows Greg Barrent, who's our a
Speaker 4: very good friend and co comedian and podcaster and one.
Speaker 3: Of the many friends of ours with cancer currently, it's
Speaker 3: getting very frustrating that disease. But what did he say?
Speaker 1: He wants to do our podcast?
Speaker 3: Oh terrific.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so excited. He wants to do it very soon.
Speaker 3: So I would love it. I would love it.
Speaker 1: He said, you guys drive me somewhere. I said, sounds good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll take him anywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But that was nice to see him and to
Speaker 1: see him. He looks like himself, he's he seems like
Speaker 1: he's back.
Speaker 3: Oh good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's gonna be doing sets around and stuff.
Speaker 3: That's terrific. That makes me happy.
Speaker 4: That's the only thing I did today was go I
Speaker 4: and I actually am doing things in my life now
Speaker 4: where it's like I'm acting, Like going and meeting people
Speaker 4: for coffee is like something to check off a list, yeah,
Speaker 4: or like I've accomplished something.
Speaker 3: Well, as long as you have a bit of a schedule,
Speaker 3: it feels like, hey, I'm still working right.
Speaker 1: Yeah kind of. I mean I don't know.
Speaker 3: I miss my free time. I'm working right now, and
Speaker 3: it's it's it takes some getting used to, you know,
Speaker 3: waking up not doing the things that.
Speaker 1: You usually do or whatever you want to do.
Speaker 3: It's all and all these rich people always say that's
Speaker 3: like it's a Donald trumpy thing to say, just sleep less.
Speaker 3: There's this montage of like advice from Arnold Schwarzenegger that
Speaker 3: I was listening to for some reason, and one of
Speaker 3: them was like, you'll have plenty of I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: do his voice, plenty of time to sleep when you die,
Speaker 3: that's what he said. I'm like, really, that's what if
Speaker 3: you think about it. I mean, I guess you have
Speaker 3: an edge on people if you've only had five hours sleep,
Speaker 3: But then you have baggy eyes and you're not gonna
Speaker 3: nail that meeting, right, I mean.
Speaker 1: Who knows that?
Speaker 4: You know, that guy can do whatever he wants. First
Speaker 4: of all, you know he's sleeping as much as he
Speaker 4: wants to.
Speaker 1: He's rich. Yeah, none of the rules apply to that guy.
Speaker 3: I think it's just talking early on and he's talking
Speaker 3: just about lifting weights.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because if you're filled with other people's testosterone and
Speaker 4: a human growth hormone. Then yeah, you can kind of
Speaker 4: do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Do you think he was injecting other people's growth hormones.
Speaker 1: I'd like to think that.
Speaker 3: I'd like to imagine it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want a hero, I need a hero.
Speaker 1: I'm looking out for a hero.
Speaker 3: I've been holding on for a hero. Cli Yeah, the
Speaker 3: night Scratcher.
Speaker 4: All right, this is crazy, Yeah, but I think I
Speaker 4: found it.
Speaker 3: Okay, this has been I mean a goose chase.
Speaker 1: It's been wild.
Speaker 4: It's also hard to look at my phone map and
Speaker 4: podcast and drive.
Speaker 3: Yes, we our podcast comes with dangers that are specific
Speaker 3: to the what we've decided to do, which is driving
Speaker 3: a car. While it's very dangerous. I can't believe people
Speaker 3: get in with us, I know. And I'm gonna just
Speaker 3: remind Johnny we're heading to him.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, close close by, I think, yeah, I think so. Actually,
Speaker 4: it's so very strange. This is that part of Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: It is now called frog Town. But when I moved
Speaker 4: here and lived here for twenty years, it was never
Speaker 4: called anything.
Speaker 1: And then I had a Frogtown. Is what this little
Speaker 1: neighborhoo coming up is?
Speaker 3: Oh? Really? I thought it was a Legion park or
Speaker 3: some maybe it's also called frog Town.
Speaker 1: I don't know where Lesion Park is, but this is Frogtown.
Speaker 4: And I know because I have a hairdresser here, one
Speaker 4: of my many ladies around town.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: And it's just kind of just this strip.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to know where we're at right now.
Speaker 3: This city is an intricate, serpentine maze of confusing pathways.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: Sometimes they're labeled south, sometimes north. Suddenly you're on Historic
Speaker 3: Route sixty six. You're in the wild West. You're on
Speaker 3: a horse, you need.
Speaker 4: Water, you got bit by a scorpion, you got kicked
Speaker 4: the set because you because you.
Speaker 3: Use the damn you're not You're no longer an actual cowboy.
Speaker 3: You're simply in a western movie. But we are behind
Speaker 3: Dodger Stadium, and I think, yeah, Johnny's like downtown ish right.
Speaker 1: No, We're like, look, we're going down a bit further.
Speaker 1: And then he's right there.
Speaker 3: Oh he's right here. Okay, See that's where I was
Speaker 3: wrong before. I mean, look, who knows where the freeway.
Speaker 1: Was taking, who knows where the time goes? Newell, I'm
Speaker 1: going left on it, Okay, okay, great.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm very excited for him to be in here.
Speaker 3: How have you been? What have you been doing? Karen?
Speaker 4: Aside from having breakfast with a great parent, was that
Speaker 4: was one of the big ones just today, just today, Uh,
Speaker 4: let's see going to the movies a lot, and have
Speaker 4: seen our podcast front April.
Speaker 3: Richardson, I love April ap.
Speaker 1: And I we saw Straight out of Compton together. How
Speaker 1: was that great?
Speaker 3: Great? Okay, I've been only told it's.
Speaker 1: Great, it's great.
Speaker 4: It's there's controversy because you know, it came out that
Speaker 4: doctor Dre beat the ship out of his like first girlfriend, and.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of stuff about that which is sucks
Speaker 1: and is very sad.
Speaker 3: But oh it's in the movie.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that was.
Speaker 4: Like the controversy after the movie came out, as they
Speaker 4: never talk about this, but it's like, in my opinion,
Speaker 4: you would have to.
Speaker 1: It's a whole different movie.
Speaker 3: Sorry that we can't have it. The movie be four
Speaker 3: hours long?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean they you know, there was plenty to
Speaker 4: cover anyway, So but it was great. I mean that aside,
Speaker 4: here's what I will say I really liked after that
Speaker 4: that there basically an article article came out saying that
Speaker 4: you know this is they they they showed themselves as
Speaker 4: being these heroes, but then there okay, uh and then
Speaker 4: they uh and but the truth is that doctor Dre
Speaker 4: beat this woman up. And days later after that article
Speaker 4: that I read, doctor Dre came out with a statement
Speaker 4: apologizing and saying.
Speaker 1: It's not an excuse, but I was young and didn't.
Speaker 4: Have I wasn't raised well, and i wasn't a man yet,
Speaker 4: and so I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm
Speaker 4: sorry for what I did.
Speaker 1: Like it was this very comprehensive really for my to me.
Speaker 1: Nobody apologizes like.
Speaker 4: That anymore, just immediately comes out and says I was
Speaker 4: wrong and I'm sorry, and it's not an excuse, but
Speaker 4: I did it.
Speaker 3: But I've Yeah, if only our past presidents could have
Speaker 3: the you know, could act more like gangster rappers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or like I just think that's a very manly
Speaker 4: thing to do. Sorry, miss sure, Uh, it's very manly
Speaker 4: to go. You're right, that was a really dark time
Speaker 4: in my life, and I he basically said, like, I
Speaker 4: try every day to be a better person than who
Speaker 4: I used to be, and hopefully I'm getting better. I mean,
Speaker 4: it was very responsible, seemingly to me. Yeah, but anyway.
Speaker 3: Especially since it was so long ago and he was.
Speaker 3: I mean that is when it comes to excuses, not
Speaker 3: that there is any for domestic when you say I
Speaker 3: was seventeen.
Speaker 1: No, I mean it's no you hit people, but kids do.
Speaker 3: Kids hit each other, kids do.
Speaker 4: And when you do show like that, then you apologize.
Speaker 4: If people go this was wrong, you go, yep, it
Speaker 4: was wrong.
Speaker 1: I mean that he didn't have to do anything. That's
Speaker 1: what most people do.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's a little further. He's under a grapefruit tree.
Speaker 1: We don't know what that means, Johnny. Yeah, is this
Speaker 1: a great fruit tree?
Speaker 3: I don't know. It looks there, there's fruit there. He
Speaker 3: is outside corner. Hey, hey, hi, Johnny. We got a
Speaker 3: little turned around, got a little turned around.
Speaker 1: We were on several freeways you did. Here's your mic
Speaker 1: Ellie is a great, big freeway.
Speaker 3: Johnny Pemmerton, everybody. Yeah, it's so hard. It's so hard
Speaker 3: while we're because we're talking, we're trying to podcast. Meanwhile
Speaker 3: we're getting uh, we just keep getting lost.
Speaker 2: How long have you been lost for? Oh? Oh, all
Speaker 2: our lives?
Speaker 3: Twelve minutes.
Speaker 2: Twelve minutes. That's not too bad.
Speaker 3: It wasn't How are you what's up?
Speaker 2: You know, I was just getting out of that grapefruit tree.
Speaker 3: When you said grapefruit tree, you you acted as if
Speaker 3: everyone knows what a grapefruit tree looks like. I was not.
Speaker 3: I did not grow up in an orchard.
Speaker 2: It is not. But usually when you see a tree
Speaker 2: that has a bunch of big yellow fruit on.
Speaker 3: It, right, that was the giveaway. Is the actual fruit
Speaker 3: in the tree?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: I should have I should have noticed what part of
Speaker 3: town now. I thought it was a Lesion park.
Speaker 2: Lesian Valley.
Speaker 3: Technically it is technically technically, but have you heard heard
Speaker 3: the phrase frog town? Yes, yeah, you're a frog town.
Speaker 2: Well it's not, it is, that's what it's called.
Speaker 3: You smell. You smell like grapefruits.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding away really, because I just kicked off
Speaker 2: my foot. Oh oh god, it was decomposed.
Speaker 3: Rinks of healthy breakfast.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell me the fastest way to
Speaker 1: get to the left?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 4: It's like uber, yeah, because they never know where they're going.
Speaker 2: And it's amazing. I sometimes I feel the higher people like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's you never you've never driven before, driven before? Well,
Speaker 2: here's a great chance to learn how to drive. Here's
Speaker 2: your chance to learn learn on the job. Why uh,
Speaker 2: why spend that time learning to drive when you can
Speaker 2: get paid to learn to drive? Yeah, so their ad
Speaker 2: should be get paid to learn to drive with Uber.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and everyone that you'll be picking out picking up,
Speaker 3: it's likely that they know how to drive, so they
Speaker 3: can give you tips as you korean into a wall,
Speaker 3: tips like oh my god, stop, or tips like please,
Speaker 3: where are you taking us?
Speaker 1: I had an Uber driver that asked me to teach
Speaker 1: him how to use ways. Wow, that's pretty meta.
Speaker 2: I don't know. We want to know who used ways
Speaker 2: so much that he was like not seeing the forest
Speaker 2: for the trees kind of thing, like like, oh, it
Speaker 2: says there's traffic in front of me when there's none, Like,
Speaker 2: but way says there's traffic right here. Yeah, no cars.
Speaker 2: It's a misformed.
Speaker 1: Take that right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's amazing how many of those guys driving professionals
Speaker 3: are not familiar with ways. They app that it saved
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 2: Where has it saved your life?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's got I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: saved my life, but it's got me on time too
Speaker 3: many things.
Speaker 2: I'm tired of driving. I'm done with it.
Speaker 1: It's pretty irritating, it is.
Speaker 3: It is the thing.
Speaker 2: What a shitty thing that we do as people. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like what a non human thing to engage in so
Speaker 2: regularly driving. Yeah, I think it makes bad makes us
Speaker 2: bad people agreed, they designed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No we aren't. We were. That would be amazing.
Speaker 3: We'd have terrible bodies, just be so awkward in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Big can wrap around eyes.
Speaker 3: Wrap around eyes.
Speaker 1: Also, it's very isolating.
Speaker 4: Like when I get in my car, I just like
Speaker 4: I get all in my head and then I get like, well,
Speaker 4: like we're saying like running through problems.
Speaker 2: Right, it makes me in a way that I don't
Speaker 2: like feeling that way. Yeah, it's like I wouldn't talk
Speaker 2: to this person that way if I saw him in
Speaker 2: the street. But I'm being exactly person of a stranger.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Really, it's like if we we saw each other, we
Speaker 2: probably make up and cry and like I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry too, Why did I do that?
Speaker 1: Why did I call you?
Speaker 2: Oh my god. We're just people, we're just trying. We're
Speaker 2: just in the simulation together.
Speaker 3: It's all simulation.
Speaker 2: It is. It probably is right, and I think they're
Speaker 2: pretty much proven to probably.
Speaker 3: A simulation that we're living in a Truman Show situation.
Speaker 2: Well that's like that, not like so much human orchestrated simulation,
Speaker 2: but probably some sort of advanced this as beings or
Speaker 2: or future us has created a similous asshole.
Speaker 3: Look at that guy guzzler, And that's something you probably
Speaker 3: wouldn't say that, that Couza.
Speaker 2: Smashing asshole if I had no I got a car
Speaker 2: alarms know what, you stupid seagus, get that fucking car
Speaker 2: alarm off, I do have a car.
Speaker 3: I knew he was a West Coast seaguzzler.
Speaker 2: My freaking jack.
Speaker 4: I think, uh, the idea of it being a simulation
Speaker 4: makes me feel so much better about my tax problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because it's.
Speaker 1: Really not real.
Speaker 3: Right, It's not real.
Speaker 2: There's money, right, I mean that's I read some book
Speaker 2: that said that's what I should think about money. Just
Speaker 2: remember it's not real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're just all where globs of cells and atoms
Speaker 3: just being hurled through a universe that may or may
Speaker 3: not be here, right, right? Am I right about that?
Speaker 1: I love it?
Speaker 2: Am I right?
Speaker 1: Ladies, ladies back me up, and men take a breather
Speaker 1: in this universe.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, you want to take a back seat. This
Speaker 2: next Ladies, Ladies of the chorus. This go around the
Speaker 2: lady's voices out there.
Speaker 4: Johnny, can we talk for one second about the character
Speaker 4: that you did at the Echoes Under Sunset show.
Speaker 1: I saw you where Johnny was the lead singer.
Speaker 2: He's really a dentist. Oh that's what he does for
Speaker 2: a living.
Speaker 1: He's a dentist.
Speaker 2: A divorce and he also was he.
Speaker 4: Was promoting the Van Eyes Blues FESTIV losing on Barbecue Fest.
Speaker 2: Daniel Vans losing Barbecue Fest and it's just a real
Speaker 2: fest or just when they I mean, you know, monopoly
Speaker 2: is actually there, probably is.
Speaker 1: Probably it seemed very real.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I grew up with those kind of
Speaker 2: ship festivals. That's all we had, was.
Speaker 4: Just but he had a lot of barbecue sauce on
Speaker 4: his face because he had just enjoyed some ribs and
Speaker 4: he was just telling everybody about the blues.
Speaker 1: Fest and then you sing a riffed blue.
Speaker 2: Song, Yeah, sing a blue song. He just was one
Speaker 2: of those kind of kind of those dads. You know,
Speaker 2: it's conservative Midwestern dads, a lot of money to buy
Speaker 2: like expensive guitars that don't get played. That's just how
Speaker 2: I grew up with everyone. That's the people I grew
Speaker 2: up with. Yeah, people who are going on to the
Speaker 2: blues fest. It's gonna be I have a couple of beers,
Speaker 2: might get a little crazy down there. Cocoa Taylor. They
Speaker 2: flew her in, probably pay her paid forty grand and
Speaker 2: she we're happy to have her though. She's great. Coco
Speaker 2: a few songs that she's out there, But real was it?
Speaker 1: Robert Cray was the other Robert.
Speaker 3: I was trying to think of his name. That's who
Speaker 3: my mom always saw at the top had exactly. I
Speaker 3: can't believe you pulled Robert Cray out. That's who my
Speaker 3: mom always she loved Robert Cray.
Speaker 2: Robert Cray is the best worst. He is the worst.
Speaker 2: He is like everything the blues wanted to not be,
Speaker 2: but so good at it at the same time.
Speaker 1: Really, he's been around for a while.
Speaker 3: Is he is he a blues guitarist?
Speaker 2: He's a blues guitarist. Does he is? He's really good?
Speaker 3: Does he make faces? I like how blues guitarists make faces,
Speaker 3: the face as you would make while masturbating. He goes guitar. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you gotta feel it. The you gotta wins, well, you
Speaker 3: gotta wins while smiling when that note hits where it
Speaker 3: needs to be.
Speaker 2: There's a Steve I video called Tender Surrender from some
Speaker 2: time in the nineties. He is dripping and sweat. His
Speaker 2: guitar has like a it's very much a custom personal guitar,
Speaker 2: but he it's like six minutes of it's the most
Speaker 2: it should be flagged for inappropriate. It's on YouTube, you
Speaker 2: can watch it. But it's so sensual. He is masturbating
Speaker 2: the guitar, masturbating. He's not he's playing the guitar as
Speaker 2: though he was playing his penis and like this long
Speaker 2: drawn out personal celebratory masturbation ritual, like misstroking it ever
Speaker 2: so gently and speeding it up and then just like
Speaker 2: does this little tab and like, oh my god, it's
Speaker 2: so great. My uh.
Speaker 3: Henry was pals with Johnny Lang that who's like a
Speaker 3: young blues yeah yeah ship, and we went we were
Speaker 3: on the road somewhere it's like ten years ago, and
Speaker 3: we went to a concert and he was making those faces.
Speaker 3: But he's young and he and he had but he
Speaker 3: had an old guitar, so to me it was very pedophilix.
Speaker 3: He was like making love to this old guitar's Yeah,
Speaker 3: and then someone had played like and then he go
Speaker 3: with his mouth go like singing along to it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they sing along to guitars.
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing that happens if you've been
Speaker 2: playing an instrument for about about four or five years,
Speaker 2: you realize this intonation that happens. What you know, you
Speaker 2: can probably do this Karen right, You can sing what
Speaker 2: you play pretty much perfectly, but you get that you
Speaker 2: look at the intonation, and when you first learn that
Speaker 2: intonation becomes addictive to the point of like annoying. It's
Speaker 2: really annoying, like, oh, I can without thinking, I can
Speaker 2: sing the same note I'm playing because I just know
Speaker 2: the intonation of the instrument. And it's like, now I'm
Speaker 2: annoying as fuck for the next year until I get
Speaker 2: over that ability.
Speaker 4: It's actually the Blues are kind of super nerdy, and
Speaker 4: I think everyone's scared to say that, oh yeah, because
Speaker 4: that kind of stuff, like what you just described of
Speaker 4: someone like basically scatting with a guitar embarrasses me so bad.
Speaker 1: I think about watching.
Speaker 3: Unless it's on stage and it's part of a show,
Speaker 3: I can watch it. But if You're at a party
Speaker 3: and it could be the most talented person in the
Speaker 3: world if they start playing guitar and singing along to
Speaker 3: the guitar, which I've seen in Austin. That's every other
Speaker 3: party in Austin. Someone's playing Hackey Sack and their friend
Speaker 3: is singing along to the guitar. I get really uncomfortable,
Speaker 3: and maybe it's something about me, Maybe it's something.
Speaker 2: It's like improv.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get really uncomfortable when I watch improv, like
Speaker 3: bad improv.
Speaker 2: Bad improv is That's how That's how Christ was actually crucified.
Speaker 2: It was a forced spat in an improv show that
Speaker 2: was going south immediately and he just that's how they
Speaker 2: Christ died. For our sins, Our sins are learning improv.
Speaker 4: Are several suggestions, but also I think it's the vulnerability
Speaker 4: of that people being so happy to be that vulnerable,
Speaker 4: whereas comedians that's the last thing we want to do,
Speaker 4: like that kind of like, hey, let's just see if
Speaker 4: I do good everybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish that's how I still felt when I
Speaker 3: did stand up. But I do not want that. I
Speaker 3: want the variable to be I don't want yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I want that to be The one thing I know
Speaker 3: is that I have control over the situation to not
Speaker 3: be variable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll let go. I'm been letting go a lot that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah on stage, Yeah, I just don't care.
Speaker 3: Well, you're always you've been in and uh, we both
Speaker 3: share this quality. I'm gonna call it a quality. We're
Speaker 3: very loosey goosey on stage. Yeah, loose is a goose
Speaker 3: you are, I've seen you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm like a gander up there.
Speaker 3: You are, like you're just like looking for a pond
Speaker 3: or maybe not. Maybe just lead your children across a
Speaker 3: busy road.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll do a touch and go. You thought I
Speaker 2: was landing on that pond. Nope, Oh he's out just
Speaker 2: testing the water with my goose feet.
Speaker 1: Maybe you'll find a big chunk of bread and hang
Speaker 1: out for a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's eating that really disgusting way when you choke
Speaker 2: it back and grab it and you throw your head
Speaker 2: forward to get down the gullet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks there. It looks so painful. When geese
Speaker 3: eat just sideways bread.
Speaker 1: You can tell they have an eating disorder of some kind.
Speaker 3: So many geese binge and perch and yeah.
Speaker 2: Those gizzard stones a couple of gizzard stones along the way.
Speaker 3: Those are some some sort of a stomach within a
Speaker 3: bird that helps him eat rocks.
Speaker 2: And birds they eat a rock, a couple of rocks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, those are the gizzard. It helps pulverize the one
Speaker 3: of the My dad the only time he ever went
Speaker 3: to the hospital. I think maybe he didn't, but he
Speaker 3: thought he was dying, and he's ignored actual signs of
Speaker 3: health problems. He ate a bunch of almonds and like
Speaker 3: a whole bag of him like it was. It was
Speaker 3: a time where he's single. I think he just I
Speaker 3: could make I could make dinner. I could eat those
Speaker 3: bag of nuts. And they bound up inside him to
Speaker 3: the point where he's in so much pain. And then
Speaker 3: the doctor said that they were caught in some sort
Speaker 3: of a provincial I don't know some of what used
Speaker 3: to be a gizzard and a human. And I don't
Speaker 3: know if that's what the appendix is or there is.
Speaker 3: They that it's not stuck in your stomach, it's in
Speaker 3: your and I wish I knew what it was.
Speaker 2: A gizzard like that.
Speaker 3: There was it was some sort of a gizzard and
Speaker 3: nuts get caught in there, and is it a spleen.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's a spleen.
Speaker 1: You can lose your spleen, right.
Speaker 4: You're right.
Speaker 3: I think the food doesn't through, but it filters things.
Speaker 3: And I think that sometimes there's nuts in your blood
Speaker 3: special occasion, I would say no, But what if you're
Speaker 3: on a roller coaster and you're really being jostled.
Speaker 2: About, maybe like on the gravitron or something.
Speaker 3: That was the part of the story I left out.
Speaker 3: As my dad was at the state fair all day.
Speaker 1: He was just on.
Speaker 4: My dad used to always have a bag of almonds
Speaker 4: in his hand and he offered them, shake them at you,
Speaker 4: to offer them to you, and then go Nature's candy.
Speaker 2: Wow and that dad. Yeah, yeah, porks dipped in merks
Speaker 2: cheddar cheese. This was back when he was This is
Speaker 2: pre pre Atkins, but this was an Atkins diet. Oh
Speaker 2: they no carb diet.
Speaker 3: Wait, your dad invented the Atkins diet. It sounds like.
Speaker 2: Really fat he was. I think it was called the
Speaker 2: Tea factor diet. But this he lost a bunch of weight.
Speaker 2: And part of that was that way was eating hot dogs,
Speaker 2: no buns, and a lot of pork rindes dipped in cheese.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you go protein.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can ever found to do.
Speaker 3: That because your dad's a male clinic, isn't he a
Speaker 3: MAO clinic like a surgeon.
Speaker 2: He's a surgeon.
Speaker 3: I talked to him on the phone once, John, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I recommend I was having some bleeding issues and I
Speaker 3: mentioned he's already at the top of the shell. But
Speaker 3: as Dad was very he was calming. He gave me
Speaker 3: some information. He led me to one of his friends
Speaker 3: who works here in Los Angeles. I went, and that
Speaker 3: guy stuck his whole arm in my button numerous times,
Speaker 3: sometimes just in front of his golf buddies. But he no,
Speaker 3: come on, they were doctors. A lot of people were
Speaker 3: in the room though, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had that experience one time where I went
Speaker 2: in and I had a procto, you know, just checking
Speaker 2: and just checking out the zone down there.
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, you gotta check the zone out.
Speaker 2: There was this woman who was must I think she
Speaker 2: was an intern. She was you know, probably like in
Speaker 2: her like late twenties, like your age, yeah, yeah, my age,
Speaker 2: but just stunningly beautiful with my doctor. And I was like, oh, great,
Speaker 2: here we go. Let's just like I met her literally
Speaker 2: twenty seconds prior to that, and now I'm just taking
Speaker 2: my pants off and having doctor uh, doctor Phil. His
Speaker 2: name's I didn't like to say his last name, but
Speaker 2: his name is Phil. But he just went ahead and did.
Speaker 3: That real fast, and just was that's so funny. The
Speaker 3: last time I went in to get a camera in
Speaker 3: my ureth throw opening which it is your pepe hole,
Speaker 3: very painful, I bid on the bill of my hat
Speaker 3: and U some local aesthetic. But just the guy took
Speaker 3: he was with another patient for like twenty minutes. I
Speaker 3: knew it had worn't off. I'm like my people, it
Speaker 3: feels normal, normal again, Please don't go in there. But
Speaker 3: he went in and cut out a tumor or something.
Speaker 3: I was fine, I was benign. I feel great today.
Speaker 3: But there was a young girl in there, and man,
Speaker 3: she just she could have been at a party or something,
Speaker 3: and she was just looking at My legs were in
Speaker 3: the air, it was my it was everything. My my
Speaker 3: penis was there and my part of my butt. And
Speaker 3: then she's looking right at it. My taint. What do
Speaker 3: you call the taint?
Speaker 2: You call it the taint, right, it was called the peraneum.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she just had a bird's eye or my peraneum
Speaker 3: and oh god, it was get.
Speaker 2: A photo for that. Definitely idiot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he wouldn't say that if we were in the
Speaker 3: car right now. Actually, that guy was an idiot. He
Speaker 3: had shave side squirrel like a guru religion that does
Speaker 3: not exist.
Speaker 1: He also looked like skinny fat jew. There you go.
Speaker 1: We decided we weren't going to say that name because
Speaker 1: it is kind of you really.
Speaker 2: Feel like that whole thing is kind of an excuse
Speaker 2: for certain people to say.
Speaker 3: The word fat jewy for real, do you guys remember
Speaker 3: because he is famous for having Twitter followers, wasn't it
Speaker 3: somewhere in like three million or something that guy? Yeah,
Speaker 3: they're fat two guys.
Speaker 2: Hey, he's Instagram guy.
Speaker 3: His Twitter thing is not that Okay.
Speaker 2: His Twitter game is weak.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah yeah, because that it's hard to just I
Speaker 3: guess actually it would be easy to cut and pace words.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know what I see is down to
Speaker 3: two hundred thousand. I'm like, well, that's no longer that
Speaker 3: thing was.
Speaker 2: That's all those things where the story isn't the story
Speaker 2: is the thing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's not a story. The story is that
Speaker 3: it's a story, right, nothing exists. Yeah, The whole story is,
Speaker 3: here's this guy. His name is hard to say because
Speaker 3: it's offensive, and he stole the end.
Speaker 4: It's a black hole, is the only The additional is
Speaker 4: just he started making serious money off of the steel.
Speaker 1: That's when people care.
Speaker 3: That's when people step up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which makes sense.
Speaker 4: I mean like because you can catch people and get
Speaker 4: people here and there, but people will.
Speaker 1: Just be like, hey man, but this is like literally
Speaker 1: building a career.
Speaker 2: It's hilarious that stuff always you always get the piper
Speaker 2: always comes to take his payments. You know. That's saying, yeah,
Speaker 2: it comes for his payment. Eventually, the piper knocks long
Speaker 2: enough timeline, we all exist for no time or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, it's a long staying and we never
Speaker 3: hear it in its entirety. But the piper comes to
Speaker 3: pay the rooster. And we're only here for a little while.
Speaker 2: We're only here for a little while. Yeah, it sounds
Speaker 2: like George Carlin, right.
Speaker 3: I wish I wish I could sound like we're only
Speaker 3: here for a little while. Oh, and it's nice to
Speaker 3: be here.
Speaker 2: But the thing, I'm gonna wrap it up, and yes,
Speaker 2: and I love you here we are by what are
Speaker 2: you gonna do?
Speaker 3: It Tonight's comedy concept. I don't know, man, are you
Speaker 3: gonna it? Sounds like you're gonna be loosey goosey.
Speaker 2: I actually, you know, I'm trying to lock some stuff
Speaker 2: down because I'm doing this show on Tuesday that I'm
Speaker 2: gonna record for an album. Oh that's great. Hey, where
Speaker 2: are you doing that at the Nerd Melt?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Everyone, I didn't I knew you were doing it presents
Speaker 3: Nerd Melt Comedy Johnny Pemberton out. I think that's what
Speaker 3: it's called exactly.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to milk it for all it's worth in
Speaker 2: the audio.
Speaker 3: That's great, good idea. So you're gonna have a comedy album.
Speaker 2: Maybe I think I'm gonna have some comedy album. I'm
Speaker 2: planning on a only taking a little part of it
Speaker 2: because I don't want to put the kind of pressure
Speaker 2: on myself. God forbid, I should put pressure on myself.
Speaker 3: Stand up, no one, No one's gonna yeah, no one's
Speaker 3: gonna know this.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: If it's a compilation of shows that becomes your whole album,
Speaker 3: that's what everyone doesn't realize it. You could you could
Speaker 3: record ten times, compile it together, and it'll just be
Speaker 3: a novelty. It doesn't need to be all at once.
Speaker 3: What do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think you're gonna name that album? Johnny ideas?
Speaker 2: I mean, I've probably thought in the past couple of
Speaker 2: years the names for over a thousand different albums. Let's
Speaker 2: want to think about I kind of thought about the
Speaker 2: words hybrid vigor, but that has nothing to do with
Speaker 2: anything in my stand up. Just a phrase that I like. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like that has to do with plants that are hybridized
Speaker 2: and they have they grow much better because of something
Speaker 2: called vigor. Yeah, I just think it's a funny phenomenon.
Speaker 2: All the other ones I thought of were just really
Speaker 2: bad and they don't make any sense. I don't know
Speaker 2: what I want. I don't honestly don't know what should
Speaker 2: I call it.
Speaker 1: You never know the Great Fruit Tree.
Speaker 3: I was told by the label to just name my
Speaker 3: album Fairbanks, right. They just said, your name is good
Speaker 3: enough of a name. But I the title I was
Speaker 3: going to go with was something I just said during
Speaker 3: the show, which was I got mad at them for
Speaker 3: clapping at a joke I don't like, and I said,
Speaker 3: look at me being disappointed with your enjoyment, And I
Speaker 3: thought disappointed with your enjoyment would have been a good title,
Speaker 3: and I was going to go with it, so it
Speaker 3: came after you always came with our time. Yeah, I see,
Speaker 3: that's a good idea.
Speaker 1: You can you can look out for something that you
Speaker 1: say during Yeah, that's a good idea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and towards when you're listening, be like, yep, that
Speaker 3: was a fun moment. I'm naming it that.
Speaker 2: How about ship dogs in a diynamite field.
Speaker 3: Well, maybe just say that during the show, if there's
Speaker 3: a place for you to say that. I wouldn't just
Speaker 3: blurt it as a nine sequitor, because you've then planned
Speaker 3: to call it that. That's working backwards.
Speaker 2: I thought about calling it the whatever, the spectrum of sound, sound,
Speaker 2: the frequency of the human voice, the sound range of that.
Speaker 3: Just call it that whatever that's called.
Speaker 2: I think it's like fifty her as low as you
Speaker 2: can go, and then like whatever. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, why don't you call it the frequency of
Speaker 3: the human sound sound?
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, you.
Speaker 2: Call it person, I'll call it death in a crosswalk?
Speaker 3: How about this?
Speaker 2: I left my child in a hot cart. I left
Speaker 2: my child in my car. In the summer in Texas,
Speaker 2: people be running to grab that, and he's here.
Speaker 3: With me tonight.
Speaker 1: I hold it with me every day.
Speaker 3: And still I've come here to tell you jokes and
Speaker 3: you're just you're holding a melted candle.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: Oh god, no, actually I do think.
Speaker 3: Of a not funny. It happens in real life. I
Speaker 3: apologize to you and the fat That's.
Speaker 2: Why it's funny, because it's so terrible.
Speaker 3: It's like city buses, the hooligans of the streets. Oh
Speaker 3: did you need us to.
Speaker 1: Stop late for your soccer game?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, mister bus driver. The guy that works for
Speaker 3: the city, bullies of the city.
Speaker 2: That's what bull disrespectful trends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I respects.
Speaker 1: There's not that much of it.
Speaker 2: They're up there with our neighborhood. Oh yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: tell you something that you don't that often. It's changed.
Speaker 3: Its changed.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm so tired of people saying, I know, man,
Speaker 2: this neighborhoods changed. Oh really, what was I supposed to do?
Speaker 3: Is the word hipster? Is the word hipster about to
Speaker 3: come up? Because I'm going to plug my ears.
Speaker 2: This neighborhood used to be uh different in a different
Speaker 2: way than it is now. Actually, to that place that's there.
Speaker 2: It wasn't there before. U. I fucking hate this place.
Speaker 2: That thing with things change over time. God damn it.
Speaker 2: I hate they know about me. I think they know
Speaker 2: about me that I used to live here and would
Speaker 2: like to reference this place to people who don't care.
Speaker 3: Why the situations always have to evolve?
Speaker 2: Why does time have to progress? Why? God damn it.
Speaker 2: I was trying to do something here. I had a
Speaker 2: thing going, and time started, you know, the march of
Speaker 2: time carried on, And now there's a fucking CBS. Oh great,
Speaker 2: this neighborhood used to be hip. Now there's a CVS.
Speaker 3: It used to be a good neighborhood back when I
Speaker 3: was thirty. Now you know what's wrong with this neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Now I'm forty.
Speaker 2: I'm forty.
Speaker 4: My cousin's wife, my cousin, and my sister all live
Speaker 4: in my hometown, and we all still call all the
Speaker 4: buildings what they were when we were growing up. So
Speaker 4: there's like a restaurant that we called Tuttles, which used
Speaker 4: to be the drug store. The restaurant is now in
Speaker 4: like we we reference things as if the town is
Speaker 4: still in nineteen eighty one, right, and it drives her
Speaker 4: insane because she knows it as what it is now.
Speaker 4: So we'll be like over the one over at Tuttles
Speaker 4: and like where it's truly thirty years. It's like a
Speaker 4: thirty year spam, which can Yeah, we just that's yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just childhood.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If I there's been a place in Missoula, Montana called
Speaker 3: the Iron Horse that's been there most of my life,
Speaker 3: probably thirty years. But I still call it a hamburger
Speaker 3: Ace because there was a hamburger Ace there. That's where
Speaker 3: everyone went to fight. And uh yeah yeah, oh you
Speaker 3: go to hamburger Ace to fight after school. Yeah, just
Speaker 3: other schools you zoom, Yeah, your school against their.
Speaker 1: School, like like whole groups of kids fighting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, entire large groups fighting wearing batting gloves. Maja
Speaker 3: at hamburger Ace, five cars show up, another five cars
Speaker 3: show up, and then everyone starts punching each other. Shit,
Speaker 3: I've ever so underrated, Johnny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe it probably is.
Speaker 3: I all I know is getting punched in the face
Speaker 3: isn't as bad as you think. That's the only wisdom.
Speaker 4: Well, they usually don't land, right, Like if people are
Speaker 4: trying to hit you, they're all freaked out themselves.
Speaker 3: I've led punches, hit me right in the center of
Speaker 3: the nose and I was still able to keep talking.
Speaker 2: But I wasn't.
Speaker 3: These were kids, you know, a grown up Now what
Speaker 3: people do with the m m a and uh the
Speaker 3: jaw and just being larger than people are in Montana,
Speaker 3: no one's over five nine. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 3: I moved to Texas and I'm like, oh, everyone would
Speaker 3: kill me if I got punched. Hears Chris, are you
Speaker 3: coming in out here.
Speaker 2: A big old boy?
Speaker 1: You don't want to meet me at the Hamburger Race.
Speaker 2: Don't give me back that cocaine I sold you?
Speaker 3: Oh God, you're you are bringing back a specific memory.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: I bought some ratty powder down there on Sixth Street,
Speaker 3: and I was right near the velvet room and all
Speaker 3: the goddamn did I grabbed too much and I didn't
Speaker 3: pay the man.
Speaker 2: You know you, Rob Anderson? Rob right, m hm you
Speaker 2: guys lid you live there at the same time?
Speaker 1: No, okay, but I worked with Robby Anderson on Whitney
Speaker 1: Come in Show Loft. I just ate breakfast with him
Speaker 1: the other day.
Speaker 3: I didn't even live there, and I always think I did.
Speaker 3: I did not live there at the same time as
Speaker 3: Howard Kramer Chip Pope either. They had left. They used
Speaker 3: to visit all the time, but they were already l
Speaker 3: A superstarsstin stories. Yep, that was It's you can watch
Speaker 3: it on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Howard Chip Hope, I saw ever in Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: Laura House.
Speaker 2: Laura House too.
Speaker 3: Yep, me too. I was just sharing with Sharon McCarron.
Speaker 3: That's what we were going to call this podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank god we didn't.
Speaker 3: I have a story for my friend.
Speaker 2: Her name is Garen. Thank god we didn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's call that call that you're al I wish
Speaker 3: I hadn't.
Speaker 1: Thank god we did it.
Speaker 3: That is good.
Speaker 2: I didn't think about it's a candle with hair, which
Speaker 2: is a splinterism for handle with care.
Speaker 3: Well, that brings us back to the melted baby in
Speaker 3: the car.
Speaker 2: Right you first said that, I didn't say speak up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh wow, you're you're gonna be like you and
Speaker 3: my brain?
Speaker 2: How did you know that collective consciousness? Wait?
Speaker 1: Why did you bring up Rob Anderson?
Speaker 2: Sorry, because he used to live in Austin and I
Speaker 2: know he used to get down with some some crazy
Speaker 2: ship as you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's easy too, It's easy to get caught
Speaker 3: up there.
Speaker 2: I think they've they've got a nice underbelly there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just easy access to it. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 3: a dark underbelly. It's like a well lit, easy to
Speaker 3: access underbelly.
Speaker 1: It's kind of an option.
Speaker 3: And the whole city there is geared around having fun
Speaker 3: and find people drink. They have beers in their offices,
Speaker 3: you work at and and everyone is uh waking up
Speaker 3: like that, isn't that funny? No one expects that we
Speaker 3: are done partying at one thirty, go to bed.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. Uh, Austin's crazy or else just fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: It's like crazy cities.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I imagine anywhere in Florida.
Speaker 1: Winnipeg's insane? Really was it?
Speaker 4: All?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Well we drink all that one, let's go sit down
Speaker 2: for at.
Speaker 1: Let's call him down now, Well, let's see what your
Speaker 1: mom's up to.
Speaker 3: Of course, call he over.
Speaker 2: Okay, well it's been an hour, let's check it on mom.
Speaker 2: I guess I'll talk in one more of these Bullson's
Speaker 2: and then I be off to bed. What if you
Speaker 2: stay up when the sun's not up, you're liable to something.
Speaker 3: Bad to happen.
Speaker 4: There were a lot of very soft spoken men that
Speaker 4: were actively listening to me in Winnipeg, which was very
Speaker 4: I was like, this is great.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 4: Like a waiter who would be like, uh, I can't
Speaker 4: really explain it. It's just like people who are just
Speaker 4: like wanted to know.
Speaker 1: What you had to say.
Speaker 3: Doesn't that feel great?
Speaker 1: It's pretty great.
Speaker 3: Certain cities, Oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would you like to talk about it gets
Speaker 1: cold though.
Speaker 2: Yes, it does get cold.
Speaker 3: We manage, yeah, we're all I really want to go
Speaker 3: to Winnipeg now.
Speaker 1: It's pretty great. I really liked it. But it is
Speaker 1: the second coldest city in the world. Someone told me,
Speaker 1: I believe that.
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, yeah, you would think it would have
Speaker 3: to be way up north, maybe.
Speaker 2: A city of the certain size it is, because like
Speaker 2: there's certain places that are just so cold. They're not
Speaker 2: cities because.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's the reasons there, and they're just an area.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can't do a city here, guys. It's till
Speaker 2: you try to do a city.
Speaker 1: But there aren't enough mittens in the world. Guys, let's
Speaker 1: call it.
Speaker 3: Let's keep this a township.
Speaker 1: Let's just keep on moving down the path.
Speaker 2: We're calling it right calling officially. The time is sixty
Speaker 2: hundred hours. This is not a city.
Speaker 1: I tried to settle this. We're gonna keep on moving.
Speaker 2: We're gonna head west towards the heat Lamp. I gotta
Speaker 2: get to Miami.
Speaker 3: Do they still call the sun of heat lamp in Canada?
Speaker 1: That's like an inside joke comedy to them.
Speaker 2: I'm hungry all the time, are you?
Speaker 3: Are you hungry right now?
Speaker 2: Of course, of course you are.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite snack, Johnny?
Speaker 3: Oh god?
Speaker 2: Chips? Yeah? I love chips.
Speaker 3: What about just chips and salts like a regular? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Me too, you bet, I need to have a flavored chips.
Speaker 2: Cheetos are really good.
Speaker 4: I love Cheetos, but like hockey or Crunchy Crunchy always
Speaker 4: like the small ones.
Speaker 2: They have the most dust.
Speaker 3: I want to get dust. I want to be elbows
Speaker 3: deep and dust.
Speaker 2: I think I may be hungover. I'm hungover. I like,
Speaker 2: it's just I have this insatiable thirst and hunger being
Speaker 2: a junkie or something. But for nothing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where's the fun. Where's the fun in this?
Speaker 2: I've been drinking a whole lot lately, but I did
Speaker 2: drink a couple of beers last night. Oh some uh No.
Speaker 2: I had a couple of these beers a coming called
Speaker 2: I have one of the best brides I've had in
Speaker 2: many years from the Strand, which is a brewery I
Speaker 2: think in someplace in the east of La Torrance is
Speaker 2: in Torrance. That's just stout. It was really good. I
Speaker 2: drank a couple of We're out to dinner. My girlfriend's
Speaker 2: brother his birthday, drank some of his beers, and I
Speaker 2: ended up going to sleep at about ten thirty last night.
Speaker 3: Beers. That's what I'm not a big beer guy. It
Speaker 3: knocks me out, what happened.
Speaker 2: I also drank a bottle of wine, Oh dak, a
Speaker 2: nice bottle, a white of Sauvignon blanc. God, that good
Speaker 2: sav black God.
Speaker 3: Just just you describing it. I can almost u Yeah,
Speaker 3: the refreshing, the refreshing came to mind, grassy greene apple,
Speaker 3: just like anol with an unknown shooter. That's how I
Speaker 3: like my wine.
Speaker 1: Wait, now, is mixing wine and beer fine?
Speaker 2: I think everything's fine?
Speaker 3: That's not no. There are all these things like liquor
Speaker 3: then beer never sicker beer before liquor. You're in the clear. Whatever,
Speaker 3: it's there. All you have to do is be a
Speaker 3: drunk beer. To do is practice with all these things. Oh,
Speaker 3: I see, the thing that will get you hungover is
Speaker 3: the damn sugar.
Speaker 2: The sugar and the three Wiseman shot you did at
Speaker 2: two at the closing of the bar. That'll do to you.
Speaker 1: What's that'll never do again?
Speaker 2: I think it's a shot of Jack Jose Quervo and
Speaker 2: some other man's name was a liquor Damn McNeil, McNeil.
Speaker 3: Brand single more, I should be single, more available, Captain Margans.
Speaker 2: Probably that's probably Captain Jack, and hold them and it's
Speaker 2: just guaranteed to make you vomit.
Speaker 3: Captain Jack, I'll get you high to night. Right, that's
Speaker 3: what that song is about. It's one two thirds of
Speaker 3: that drink crap and snaps.
Speaker 2: Crappers.
Speaker 1: I do love whiskey though that was my drink. I
Speaker 1: mean the it's the effects are a plus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they really work. Whiskey words.
Speaker 2: Guy, you're what guy? I'm woring of stones rolling stones?
Speaker 3: Oh the guy got.
Speaker 2: Confused talking about music? Sorry?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, sorry, I'm drying now are talking about liquor?
Speaker 2: Ah, they're talking about music? Sorry? Where I mean where
Speaker 2: I'd have a Mazda.
Speaker 3: Here's the place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're definitely here. We've been here.
Speaker 3: Are you guys worried about the I mean, here's the
Speaker 3: time right now? It's eight twelve. Yeah, are you guys
Speaker 3: nervous about?
Speaker 1: Sound check? Is at a thirty? Starts at nine?
Speaker 2: Oh I thought it started at eight?
Speaker 1: No, guye we know I made him.
Speaker 3: I made you drink of it because I said, I'm
Speaker 3: about to relax right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we can take it easy, kick.
Speaker 2: I've got to a show on time the other night,
Speaker 2: only for it to start almost an hour and something out.
Speaker 3: I don't like it when that happened.
Speaker 1: That's such a bummer.
Speaker 2: I think I'm officially done with that. It's the last
Speaker 2: time I'm going to do that on time. No. Now,
Speaker 2: if I'm on time, I thought starting like, okay, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna leave now, yeah, because because fuck you, yep, I
Speaker 2: do that too.
Speaker 3: If I'm on time, I'm like, I gotta go, and
Speaker 3: I just I'll just go somewhere and walk around. I
Speaker 3: don't like being on time.
Speaker 4: I really hate being on time, and I know it's
Speaker 4: because it's my diva ish personality where I don't.
Speaker 1: Want to be the one waiting. I want someone else
Speaker 1: to wait for me.
Speaker 3: Well, sometimes if you're the one on time, you go
Speaker 3: up first. If it's one of these shows where everyone's
Speaker 3: an equal, I like going up third.
Speaker 2: A third, I love going up first. Oh first, Really,
Speaker 2: I think it's on the best spots you can do.
Speaker 3: Boy, I just disagree with you. Really, I'll second.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you second's good, But first is great because
Speaker 2: it's like you can do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: But the crowds, now, they're not warm. There's no way
Speaker 3: around that. Well, yeah, you're sacrificing the first half of
Speaker 3: your set to warm them up.
Speaker 2: Now, my set is warm up. How do you know?
Speaker 3: How do you warm them up?
Speaker 2: Right, charastenics? Physical?
Speaker 3: Oh you do actual exercise?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get in them. I get down here, get
Speaker 2: going under the chair, yep, you know, like force someone
Speaker 2: to move really nicely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just really get in there. I suppose. Yeah, if
Speaker 3: you got them to get up and walk around and
Speaker 3: actually warm up their bodies, that would help.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then it's on them.
Speaker 3: It's totally on them. Oh, you know why you're not enjoying.
Speaker 3: You're lazy.
Speaker 2: You know what's better than you know, it's always worse
Speaker 2: than first?
Speaker 1: What last?
Speaker 2: Last? Last?
Speaker 1: Is the worst.
Speaker 2: I think last in Los Angeles when it's clearly not
Speaker 2: you're not the quote unquote headliner, right, that lot of
Speaker 2: people that like, all right, your headliner tonight. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean the guy who's going up last.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've seen everyone's left, everyone's drunk, everyone screamed at
Speaker 4: the top of their.
Speaker 1: Lungs for an hour.
Speaker 3: I think last, it's the first first, it's the second last.
Speaker 4: It happens to us a lot because we're music act,
Speaker 4: which I don't blame anybody for.
Speaker 1: It's like the.
Speaker 4: Breakdown, so we go last, but it's like we just
Speaker 4: go out there and there's just it's like getting to
Speaker 4: a party late and going over.
Speaker 1: To the buffet.
Speaker 4: It's just like, oh, there's some old salami. Maybe you'll
Speaker 4: find some cookies from Trader Joe's that weren't open. This
Speaker 4: metaphor is very extended.
Speaker 2: But the Pickens, Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's it's pickens.
Speaker 4: And it's people that are like, there's nothing worse than
Speaker 4: comedy fatigue, where they're kind of like they wish.
Speaker 1: They could laugh and they just can't do it because
Speaker 1: they've even milked.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you're going last tonight? Either you
Speaker 3: I get last.
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm gonna go last. I've now lately,
Speaker 2: I just basically I've been speaking my mind. M Yeah,
Speaker 2: here's what I want.
Speaker 3: It works great?
Speaker 1: Do you say it like that?
Speaker 3: People?
Speaker 2: When I want, If you can make that happen for me,
Speaker 2: I would love it perfect you can't. I won't complain.
Speaker 3: It's you're doing the right thing. Everyone wants to hear
Speaker 3: what you want.
Speaker 2: You always.
Speaker 3: I always just think people know what I want, They're
Speaker 3: not going to give it to me. I have an argument,
Speaker 3: nothing has happened. I argue with them about it, we
Speaker 3: make up, and then I take my spot, and none
Speaker 3: of that has actually happened. It's all in my brain.
Speaker 2: That is a weird thing that people do that I
Speaker 2: do too, is have the have the pre argument. You've
Speaker 2: already decided the situation will be worthy of a fucking argument,
Speaker 2: and you argue the situation, the thing happens, and nothing happens.
Speaker 2: Whats whoever? Slightly antagonistic is like the most calm thing ever.
Speaker 4: I do it so often, and I do it in
Speaker 4: a way where it it makes me act weird in
Speaker 4: a way that really can't be explained or faked out,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean? Like when you're expecting a
Speaker 4: certain exchange you've prepared for very specific.
Speaker 3: It's bad magic what it is, that's right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like this magic. It's a negative magic. It's negative,
Speaker 2: the magic of negativity.
Speaker 1: You're shutting down the impossibilities.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're creating an outcome you don't want by
Speaker 2: imagining it happening. As opposed to the opposite, we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be great when when Sharon takes me up
Speaker 2: and she's super happy because we love each other and
Speaker 2: there's this new dog that's going to be there. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I do that.
Speaker 3: I do that with and we've talked about this. I
Speaker 3: do that with with bad things. I just if you
Speaker 3: think the worst, what are the chances it's also gonna happen?
Speaker 2: You're manifesting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what a lot of people think. I think
Speaker 3: I'm canceling it out.
Speaker 2: Well, I think I think it's different for me. I
Speaker 2: think like, when I think about how I'm going to die,
Speaker 2: Like I imagine the scenario of death, it's gonna approaching
Speaker 2: eminently sure, And I feel like that is canceling out
Speaker 2: that because I kind of think that if there's any
Speaker 2: sort of malicious aspect of the universe. It definitely wants
Speaker 2: to surprise you, right right, it's not able to surprise you.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, I guess I'll try someone else. Because
Speaker 2: this guy, he knew what was coming.
Speaker 1: He got ahead of it.
Speaker 3: You already put together the combination of trampoline and jet pack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he called my he figured out my my very
Speaker 2: intricate way of killing him in this moment.
Speaker 3: The universe has an intricate plan for all of our demises.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So if you think about it all the time,
Speaker 2: the way which you'll die. Yeah, Like, anytime I get
Speaker 2: into a fifteen pass van, I'm like, this is it
Speaker 2: how you die?
Speaker 4: Guy?
Speaker 2: And this shitty fucking he's a crap rat trap.
Speaker 1: Of a van and you see it rolling, just rolling
Speaker 1: down the mountain.
Speaker 3: That's why it made me so sad during the Tracy
Speaker 3: Morgan thing. The that was it's like, that's such a
Speaker 3: real horrible way to go. Yeah, that was a limo. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well it was fifteen You weren't thinking about that.
Speaker 1: They were having some good times.
Speaker 2: You're away pass, you think about it, You're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm dying on the way to set super.
Speaker 3: Like a super shuttle or a white one of those
Speaker 3: white vans.
Speaker 2: I always think about it on set, like you feel
Speaker 2: like because that's what they show you around on you know,
Speaker 2: like yeah, yeah, there's those those driven by some union
Speaker 2: guy who like makes nasty comments about some pia's legs.
Speaker 3: So you just and you think the van's gonna tip
Speaker 3: over just at the studio, just.
Speaker 2: So the guy will like look left when she'll be
Speaker 2: looking right, and some cement truck will just destroy.
Speaker 3: Us all, like just just two union guys carrening into
Speaker 3: each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: Well, and also that would be like, that's the perfect
Speaker 4: when you're you've got a job, you're like on set, it's.
Speaker 1: Supposed to be ideal. That's what's when it's gonna happen.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 1: It's the perfect anticipation.
Speaker 3: There's no way of knowing when it's gonna happen. That's
Speaker 3: not healthy to eat. That woman right there is one
Speaker 3: hundred and twelve. Look at her.
Speaker 2: That's an ancient right there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she thought she was gonna die in a Corvette
Speaker 3: racking in her thirties.
Speaker 5: Should we yell at her like move on, you ruined
Speaker 5: this neighbor, but whole asshole, So tired of you people
Speaker 5: coming here, this neighbor, get out of here.
Speaker 2: Used to be cool. This old bag shopping on a
Speaker 2: Sunday night. It's old.
Speaker 1: Oh so oh god, I guess I should pull in
Speaker 1: here right, let's do it.
Speaker 3: This is where my car is too. Okay, Oh oh
Speaker 3: that's okay. Did you did you listen to the last episode?
Speaker 3: My mouth honk was pretty good. It sounded like a
Speaker 3: semi truck. Let's do it. Then listen to it again.
Speaker 3: Oh it's our sign off Johnny.
Speaker 1: You guys, thank you for doing that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks a lot. Sorry we are kind of late,
Speaker 3: but at least I know where you live now, and
Speaker 3: I know what a grapefruit looks like. And uh, you
Speaker 3: guys go in and have yourself an amazing comedy concert.
Speaker 1: Well, listen to podcast Twisting.
Speaker 3: And Twisting anything else you want to twisting the wind
Speaker 3: on the Pail Audio Network. I'm gonna listen to Pemberton.
Speaker 3: There's anything else you got commed?
Speaker 2: You know, I just dates and stuff going on. I'll
Speaker 2: be in Australia November with Duncan Trussell and that's gonna.
Speaker 3: Be Oh that sounds great. Hi, Well we literally have
Speaker 3: we're being pulled from the car. You've been listening to
Speaker 3: Do You Need a Ride? D u I n aar.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production produced by Analise Nelson,
Speaker 3: mixed by Edson Choi.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 3: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y n ar podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com. Thank you,
Speaker 3: Oh You're welcome