Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into
Speaker 1: the Vitamin D Podcast. Welcome, great day, amazing day to you,
Speaker 1: and I'm your host on day and on this podcast,
Speaker 1: it's all about you getting excited about your life so
Speaker 1: that you can live life on purpose and for a purpose. See,
Speaker 1: Vitamin D came with the concept because it's un off
Speaker 1: my name. You know, my name is Dawn, right, and
Speaker 1: you get that vitamin D from the sun, right. So
Speaker 1: I'm here to shed light into your life. And I
Speaker 1: do that with inspirational conversations with celebrities and everyday people
Speaker 1: like you and me, just covering insights, just another way
Speaker 1: to look at things. And you've gotta get this too.
Speaker 1: Vitamin D is for your mind, body, and soul, and
Speaker 1: in order for all of that to come play together,
Speaker 1: that means it's shutting the light. And when you shut
Speaker 1: the light, we're uncovering what's under the good and the bad.
Speaker 1: Because in order to beat our best selves, we have
Speaker 1: to see our best selves. I mean, you think about it,
Speaker 1: taking consideration of fear. You fear what you do not see.
Speaker 1: Even fear itself is false evidence appearing real. It's all
Speaker 1: an illusion. But see, you know truth by the way
Speaker 1: it feels right. You know, truth because it's what you
Speaker 1: allow yourself to see. So we're cutting on the lights now.
Speaker 1: Ever so often I'll do something where I may sit
Speaker 1: down with somebody and have a good conversation just uncovering
Speaker 1: different things that they're involved in and ways to inspire.
Speaker 1: Other times, I'm doing something with cryptosis, and it's where
Speaker 1: I'm taking the lyrics of popular music and I intertwined
Speaker 1: into a motivational message. And then ever so often I
Speaker 1: come with a special treat. And this treat is all
Speaker 1: about hearing from you and giving advice to you. It's
Speaker 1: our Vitamin D advice letters. So I have plenty of
Speaker 1: people coming in to write about opinions and thoughts and
Speaker 1: questions on relationships, on love, on dreams, their career, and
Speaker 1: I just shed some light from my perspective. And here's
Speaker 1: the thing. If you wanna hit me out, go ahead
Speaker 1: and email me Vitamin D at Dawn day Speaks dot com. Again,
Speaker 1: that's Vitamin D at Dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we're going into some advice letters. So without further ado,
Speaker 1: it's some for your dose of Vitamin D. Right with
Speaker 1: me and get excited about. Okay, So now let's go
Speaker 1: to the very first letter, subject explaining vision boards and
Speaker 1: Dear Dawn, I'm trying to find the best way to
Speaker 1: manifest what I want in life. I'm thirty one, and
Speaker 1: I live in Memphis. I really want to open a bookstore,
Speaker 1: but I'm feeling like it's out of my reach. All
Speaker 1: the little and big pieces of buying the property and
Speaker 1: setting up deals and contracts with publishers and all other
Speaker 1: aspects of starting a small business just feel overwhelming. I
Speaker 1: know you talked a few times about having a vision,
Speaker 1: but could you go into detail about manifesting and vision boards.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to get my head right to get
Speaker 1: the start on the dream, but often feel unfocused. I've
Speaker 1: read some things about vision boards being a solution for that,
Speaker 1: and assuming you've had experiences with them, could you tell
Speaker 1: me your thoughts. Yes, I have a vision world right now,
Speaker 1: this me talking to you on this podcast, right now,
Speaker 1: that's on the vision board. Um. You know when you
Speaker 1: talk about your dreams right oftentimes I think even the
Speaker 1: word dream is placed in a uh a realm that
Speaker 1: you're not in right now, right And in this realm,
Speaker 1: it's magic it's what you create and what you make
Speaker 1: of it. Always say that whether it's your dreams or
Speaker 1: just communication with self, you can't negate the fact that
Speaker 1: there is a spiritual self and then there's your physical self.
Speaker 1: You can't exist without one another, at least in this realm.
Speaker 1: And understanding these dreams that are coming to you, this
Speaker 1: feeling that you have, this urge to be more, to
Speaker 1: do more, that's your spiritual self. But remember this is
Speaker 1: all about teamwork, it's about relationship. So now you have
Speaker 1: to speak to your physical self. Now, yes, you may
Speaker 1: have the inside of knowing that this is the dream,
Speaker 1: this is the vision, this is what I want. But
Speaker 1: how do you speak to the carnal mind, the one
Speaker 1: that's used to eating and drinking and feeling. Right, Well,
Speaker 1: you put the vision board out there, because now what
Speaker 1: you feel inside you need to put in front of
Speaker 1: you kind of like so you can go after it.
Speaker 1: Now we've see it in different cases, right, you may
Speaker 1: see it, um, you know the dog races. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's the greyhound, but they'll put like a
Speaker 1: character or a toy, and you're going after it. And
Speaker 1: see when we talk about purpose and we talk about dreams.
Speaker 1: You have to put something so that you can look
Speaker 1: forward to, because then you get caught up looking behind
Speaker 1: you and you realize that even in life, the whole
Speaker 1: mode is to just keep moving forward. You just gotta
Speaker 1: keep going. And when we look at the instance of
Speaker 1: life and understanding that the only time that you stop
Speaker 1: is when you die. So when you ask me, Dawn,
Speaker 1: is the vision board important? Absolutely? Guess it kind of
Speaker 1: works in the subconscious mind, right. You know what you
Speaker 1: can see, you can believe. So what happens when you
Speaker 1: have all these ideas in your head? You need to
Speaker 1: create it because it's your story. And if you look
Speaker 1: for life in the realm right down to put the
Speaker 1: vision for you to go after it, will your dreams
Speaker 1: matterfest Well, I have to wonder after question because they're
Speaker 1: your dreams. So it isn't necessarily something that somebody else
Speaker 1: has done, because there's no other person like you. So
Speaker 1: now the question becomes is whether or not you're ready
Speaker 1: to have the conversation with your spiritualself and your physical self.
Speaker 1: I mean, you hear two minds are better than one,
Speaker 1: but two essences are better than one. Imagine the magic
Speaker 1: that you can create there and don't overwhelm yourself. You know,
Speaker 1: oftentimes we think vision boards have to be a physical thing.
Speaker 1: As far as it's tangible in my hand, you can
Speaker 1: also create it on your phone. It could be words,
Speaker 1: it can be pictures, it can be quotes, it can
Speaker 1: be colors. Whatever makes you feel alive, whatever makes you
Speaker 1: feel that like, I want to go after it right,
Speaker 1: and therefore allows you to dream wide awake. So when
Speaker 1: you say that things get overwhelmed me, you may have
Speaker 1: heard it before. Inch by inch, life's ascent yard by yard.
Speaker 1: Life is hard. You just gotta put one ft in
Speaker 1: front of the other and just let it start by
Speaker 1: just putting a vision and biblically speaking, write the vision
Speaker 1: and make it plain where else you need to see it.
Speaker 1: The vision board. You gotta manifest with your affirmations. And
Speaker 1: what happens is that when you put these vision boards
Speaker 1: out there, when you look at it, it's a sense
Speaker 1: to hold yourself accountable because you start to see it
Speaker 1: and you remember what it is that you want, and
Speaker 1: you need a consistent reminder of what it is that
Speaker 1: you want. So make the vision without the vision of
Speaker 1: people with pairs, So what is the vision? What do
Speaker 1: you want? For your life. What do you see for yourself?
Speaker 1: Make sure you wake up every day and subconsciously you
Speaker 1: look at it. It's kind of like even a seed
Speaker 1: in the ground you put water on, it's gonna grow.
Speaker 1: You gotta fertilize your dreams on this vision board. That
Speaker 1: is you planting your dreams. The only next step is
Speaker 1: to wait for your season and remember it's right on time. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm completely for vision boards. Let's go all right, let's
Speaker 1: get to the next letter subject. My partner wants to
Speaker 1: open our relationship. Dear Dawn, thirty four year old man
Speaker 1: and fan. Okay, thank you. I see you from p
Speaker 1: a here. As someone who grew up being constantly bullied,
Speaker 1: I've always seen myself as not good enough. Eventually I
Speaker 1: managed to meet someone who thought I was a good
Speaker 1: person and a good match. And she must have thought
Speaker 1: the same. Because we've been together for the last six years.
Speaker 1: Things have been good to be laugh, we argue, occasionally,
Speaker 1: we have little inside jokes. It's been good. But my
Speaker 1: partner recently opened up to me that she wants to
Speaker 1: try being polyamorous. Now, knowing that my favorite person in
Speaker 1: the world wants multiple partners, I feel more crushed than ever,
Speaker 1: and those feelings are being not good enough are coming,
Speaker 1: We're going back. I don't know what to do. I
Speaker 1: want to love my partner alone and for her to
Speaker 1: love me back the same way. I would usually try
Speaker 1: and be accepting of this sort of stuff, but I
Speaker 1: just can't. This time is too much. I trust her
Speaker 1: with everything I have, but it's not about trust, It's
Speaker 1: about feelings and how I would prefer to show them.
Speaker 1: Am I wrong for not being accepting this? No, you're
Speaker 1: not wrong for being in your truth. This is what
Speaker 1: you want. This is what you want now. One thing
Speaker 1: that I have to say off the bat, I have
Speaker 1: to commend your partner, and I commend your relationship to
Speaker 1: being open enough to share that. But aren't you grateful
Speaker 1: that she gave you the option rightfully and deservingly. So
Speaker 1: now there's another thing that I look at the flip
Speaker 1: of the coin, whether or not she wanted to bring
Speaker 1: some other person and relationship. There's a sense on your
Speaker 1: end that there's a level of self confidence, like where
Speaker 1: do you stand with yourself? And that's nothing that you
Speaker 1: have to rely on. I'm reading in the letter, and
Speaker 1: you set off the bat almost as if you were saved,
Speaker 1: you know, by some type of net you know, like
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was good enough because I was
Speaker 1: constantly put down and she chose me. But it wasn't
Speaker 1: that chosen of knowing that it was a blessing. It
Speaker 1: was almost a chosen like, oh nobody else wanted me.
Speaker 1: So then you gotta ask yourself, how much do you
Speaker 1: value yourself? Because how you do anything is how you
Speaker 1: do everything. And I'm not sure of what the narrative
Speaker 1: of showing or saying what yourself is because this was
Speaker 1: a very mature conversation, you know, it wasn't anything that
Speaker 1: came behind the back. And in a relationship there are
Speaker 1: things that are ebbs and flows. There are different wants
Speaker 1: and needs for each partner. Now, one partner should not
Speaker 1: go on her because in a relationship, the key thing
Speaker 1: that you want is communication. Just as every right that
Speaker 1: she wants to express with you that hey, I'd like
Speaker 1: to explore multiple partners and uh pursue the polyamorous lifestyle,
Speaker 1: you have every right to say that that does not
Speaker 1: work for you. Now we're's gonna have to take to
Speaker 1: the mature part of the table is to have a
Speaker 1: conversation express who you are now. The thing that makes
Speaker 1: me wonder and I want you to keep top of mind,
Speaker 1: is that you said that you're used to being bullied. Now,
Speaker 1: when I think of a bully, I always think of
Speaker 1: somebody that doesn't have a voice. There's somebody that keeps quiet.
Speaker 1: They they keep to themselves and so therefore they're not heard.
Speaker 1: You have to be heard in this situation. Whether it's
Speaker 1: not so much to say, hey, you can't do this,
Speaker 1: but you need to express how you feel and how
Speaker 1: you feel it makes it uncomfortable because is it more
Speaker 1: so you're uncomfortable of feeling like she will go on
Speaker 1: to someone else? Or is the idea of your favorite person?
Speaker 1: You said a mixture of both, But I guess I
Speaker 1: got a little mixed up because the first thing you
Speaker 1: came into letters stating is that you've been bullied and
Speaker 1: there's a time that you didn't feel like you were
Speaker 1: good enough. It's gonna take a tremendous amount of confidence
Speaker 1: and self assurance one to even explore this lifestyle and
Speaker 1: the type of security in your relationship. But two, it's
Speaker 1: also gonna take for you to know who you are
Speaker 1: within yourself, because whether it's this relationship it'll spill out
Speaker 1: into the next relationship. You gotta understand the gift that
Speaker 1: you are for self, you know, and you know. I
Speaker 1: think in the relationship oftentimes people have a means of changing.
Speaker 1: You said that you've been married or you guys have
Speaker 1: been together for the last six years. This has never
Speaker 1: came up. This has never been something that you talked about,
Speaker 1: you joked about, or did you choose not to hear it?
Speaker 1: Only you know that. But when you talk about being
Speaker 1: a relationship, I think it's our due diligence to know
Speaker 1: our partner. Now, there are some things I think people
Speaker 1: will keep to themselves, but I think there's a level
Speaker 1: of when do you come with the communication and don't
Speaker 1: break down the communication. Now you are going to have
Speaker 1: to work on your self confidence with yourself in general,
Speaker 1: because who you were when you were a little kid,
Speaker 1: that's not the man, the thirty four year old man
Speaker 1: that you are today, and if it is now, it's
Speaker 1: your responsibility to do the work to change the narrative,
Speaker 1: because what does that say to your partner that you
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, I'm a damsel in distress and so lucky.
Speaker 1: She should feel like she has a prize too. And
Speaker 1: just like a diamond, it doesn't apologize for shining to
Speaker 1: get your shines and all of its imperfections, because there's
Speaker 1: value in it, and you have to see the value
Speaker 1: of yourself and the value comes from your voice and
Speaker 1: expressing to your partner that this is something that you
Speaker 1: are uncomfortable with and see what it goes from there.
Speaker 1: Now we can sit here and try to play how
Speaker 1: every scenario, what could happen, what could be said, But
Speaker 1: what it takes right now is what you know right now,
Speaker 1: this is not what you want. And I think oftentimes
Speaker 1: when we're making decisions in life, we're trying to predict
Speaker 1: what's to come after. Sometimes the best decision is just
Speaker 1: knowing where you don't want to be because it forces
Speaker 1: you to move, keep moving forward, make sure you continue
Speaker 1: to communicate. Okay, all right, let's go to the next
Speaker 1: letter subject Getting the thing done the deud An. I've
Speaker 1: been trying to write a book for about ten years now,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm about to go crazy. It
Speaker 1: all started when I was a team I got to
Speaker 1: college and decided that journalism was going to be my thing,
Speaker 1: so I really fell into love with writing. Turns out, though,
Speaker 1: that Journalism wasn't my thing, but fiction was go figure.
Speaker 1: I really fell in love with the freedom to that,
Speaker 1: and I hadn't telling stories and the centrality that ideas
Speaker 1: I was interested in could take. But the thing about
Speaker 1: getting bitten by that sort of bug is when you
Speaker 1: don't immediately make it, you can start to feel like
Speaker 1: you felt immeasurably. So I like twenty I decided I
Speaker 1: wanted to write a novel. I started and got a
Speaker 1: bit of ways in. But since that first year it's
Speaker 1: been stopping start. That was six years ago. Since I
Speaker 1: haven't been able to finish it. I keep feeling like
Speaker 1: a failure. And now, even though I'm financially okay I
Speaker 1: managed to find a job as a grant writer after school,
Speaker 1: I feel just down in the dump spiritually. So what
Speaker 1: I want to ask you, Dahn, is this, how do
Speaker 1: I hunker down and term my vision into reality. I
Speaker 1: know I won't feel right until I get back to Ranny.
Speaker 1: I mean, even if I can't finish the book, if
Speaker 1: I could just develop a daily habit, I think this
Speaker 1: soul sickness I've had for a few years would start
Speaker 1: to get better. I'm not under the impression that things
Speaker 1: will get better right away. But if it could change
Speaker 1: a little, I would be so relieved. Okay, so I
Speaker 1: feel like you just answered your own question about what
Speaker 1: you want. So I guess what you want? For me
Speaker 1: to just reiterate, okay, cool, you had this vision, it
Speaker 1: came to you ten years ago. You've identified the fact that,
Speaker 1: um that ten years ago you were eighteen, and then
Speaker 1: you did like a starting stop. So then at twenty
Speaker 1: you were like, I'm gonna really do this, and it
Speaker 1: still hasn't been executed. So then it comes down to
Speaker 1: how bad do you want it? You know, I said
Speaker 1: in the previous letter, inch by inch life's ascent, yard
Speaker 1: by yard life is hard. So again, what do you want?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. You've identified it. You know what it takes,
Speaker 1: because you even said yourself, you said, okay, it's not
Speaker 1: something that's just a fad that just came once or twice.
Speaker 1: It's been plaguing you for years now a decade. You're saying, Hey,
Speaker 1: I can't put too much pressure on myself because of
Speaker 1: writing the book right now, so how about I just
Speaker 1: do a little by little write the paragraph. But there
Speaker 1: was something that is so important and I always tried
Speaker 1: to identify that still it out to me, and it
Speaker 1: was the line in what you said is that I
Speaker 1: keep feeling like a failure. And now even though I'm
Speaker 1: financially okay, hold on, let me go again. You said,
Speaker 1: I keep feeling like a failure. And now even though
Speaker 1: I'm financially okay, I managed to find a job as
Speaker 1: a grant writer after school, I just fell down in
Speaker 1: the dump spiritually. Can you see why? Because you've allowed
Speaker 1: your dream to be based and distracted on financially what
Speaker 1: you're getting from this job. Now, when you got a dream,
Speaker 1: you gotta understand that it's to satisfy all your needs.
Speaker 1: Your dream is not something where you're gonna be a lacking.
Speaker 1: Your dream is to come from a yes and type
Speaker 1: of space where you receive it and then it's an abundance. Right.
Speaker 1: So when we have this safety net, we're trying to
Speaker 1: be so careful, we realize we knock ourselves out of
Speaker 1: the ram where the magic happens. Because now we're in
Speaker 1: this comfortable space. I mean, you just said it, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm financially okay. That doesn't mean that you should have
Speaker 1: to struggle financially for your dreams. But when you're in
Speaker 1: a position where that's a distraction. Where's your focus? It
Speaker 1: boils down? What do you want? Do you feel like
Speaker 1: this is an extreme focus or do you need to
Speaker 1: sit down and waste of time? How is it for you?
Speaker 1: Just as those saying you're trying to make a habit
Speaker 1: or break a habit, a lot of people feel like
Speaker 1: they have to go all in and jump. Some people
Speaker 1: are good at doing a little by little. But you've
Speaker 1: answered it for yourself. How long are you gonna sit
Speaker 1: in this job and not go after your dream? And
Speaker 1: if you get frustrated, you know that you're only getting
Speaker 1: frustrated with yourself. Why? Because here it goes here you're
Speaker 1: telling yourself this is what you want. So your spiritual
Speaker 1: self is saying, yes, we're gonna get this dream. We're
Speaker 1: gonna write this. Now, all this book out here. You
Speaker 1: know it may not have been, um, what did you say, journalism?
Speaker 1: But now I know that I want to write this fiction.
Speaker 1: So now you've got all these stories inside, including the
Speaker 1: story that you're telling yourself that you want it, but
Speaker 1: it's actually you don't want it because you're staying comfortable
Speaker 1: in your job. You don't want to because you're not
Speaker 1: spending time and just writing sentences just to get the
Speaker 1: paragraphed out. You don't want it because you aren't holding
Speaker 1: yourself accountable. So what happens is this communication of what
Speaker 1: you're saying spiritually, it's not matching up what you're doing
Speaker 1: in the physical realm. So I have to ask you,
Speaker 1: what do you want? If you truly believe that you
Speaker 1: can create whatever you want on the life, which has
Speaker 1: been proven time and time again. When you hear that
Speaker 1: people in insurmountable circumstances have achieved and uh exceeded against
Speaker 1: all odds, why can't you The impossible has been done before,
Speaker 1: and the impossible is only until it's possible. And you
Speaker 1: think about how many things are possible? So when do
Speaker 1: you step into the realm of knowing that you're possible?
Speaker 1: M hm? Do you just see what I'm saying? More importantly,
Speaker 1: do you understand where I'm coming from? What I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's about you making the decision and how long are
Speaker 1: you're gonna have that little child inside of you saying
Speaker 1: that you want to write and you're not writing why
Speaker 1: Because you're allowing fear, You're allowing the idea of what's
Speaker 1: next to come to get in your way instead of
Speaker 1: just taking the next step, Can you just put one
Speaker 1: foot in to the other. Can you just click one
Speaker 1: finger after the other. What do you want? Because if
Speaker 1: you're gonna stay down this bad being a writer and
Speaker 1: writing your own novel, that's not what you want. Because
Speaker 1: you do what you want for what you need, and
Speaker 1: you you should want your dreams as bad as you
Speaker 1: want to breathe. I've mentioned this story before. I first
Speaker 1: heard the story from Eric Thomas, he sort of detroit Et,
Speaker 1: the hip hop preacher. He talked about this young man
Speaker 1: and he had this dream and he wants to be
Speaker 1: a billionaire. And so he met this guy. He said, hey, kid,
Speaker 1: you want to make a lot of money? He sai, yeah,
Speaker 1: He's okay, meet me by the water. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: whatever you need to know by the beach. So the
Speaker 1: kid comes through. He's kind of waiting there. The guy
Speaker 1: is doing the stretch, doing his own thing, right. He
Speaker 1: got there at six am because the guy said be
Speaker 1: there on time sharp. He's suiting the booty of heady
Speaker 1: to go. So he's like, okay, are you gonna teach
Speaker 1: me or show me how to become a millionaire, a billionaire,
Speaker 1: have everything you want in the life. And he says, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: so he said come out to the water. So the
Speaker 1: young kid was like, wow, you know, you got me
Speaker 1: dressed out here to come out the water, like are
Speaker 1: we gonna get this done? Like what's up? And he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you, you you know, just wait a second.
Speaker 1: So he's getting impatient. He's like, sir, like, at what
Speaker 1: point are you going to tell me how to achieve
Speaker 1: everything I want on the life, to get all the money,
Speaker 1: to get all the success. He immediately took the young
Speaker 1: man and he doused him under the water. The little
Speaker 1: boy jumped up. He's like, oh my gosh, you know,
Speaker 1: why would you do that? I mean, think about this
Speaker 1: guy almost tried to kill him. As soon as he
Speaker 1: got his breath, he doused some money there again, held
Speaker 1: him down there a little longer. He jumps up trying
Speaker 1: to get his breath, and then the guy does it
Speaker 1: again and this time he holds it down longer. At
Speaker 1: this point, the the young boy is just moving around,
Speaker 1: really fighting for until he comes up. And you know,
Speaker 1: he had to compose herself because you know, he almost
Speaker 1: got out of character. He looked at this old man
Speaker 1: like yea. But the guy said, that's the secret to
Speaker 1: being successful. Dawn, What does this mean? You gotta want
Speaker 1: your dreams as bad as you want to breathe. There
Speaker 1: comes to a point that when everything around you is
Speaker 1: gonna say that it's impossible. You gotta find the fight
Speaker 1: within yourself. If you try to restrict yourself from oxygen,
Speaker 1: even if you are in a state if you wanted
Speaker 1: to take your life, if you try to restrict yourself
Speaker 1: from oxygen, do you know that your body will fight?
Speaker 1: That's what it means to go have your dreams or
Speaker 1: what your dreams? As bad as you want to breathe?
Speaker 1: How bad do you want your dreams? You gotta fight
Speaker 1: when there's no fight left. So you can make whatever
Speaker 1: excuses you want, But you gotta put yourself in a position.
Speaker 1: You gotta put yourself in soil that allows you to grow.
Speaker 1: Are you rooted? Are you connected to what you want?
Speaker 1: Or are you distracted? Are you rooted and connected with
Speaker 1: what you want? Are you in procrastination? Are you rooted
Speaker 1: and know what you want? Or are you just lying
Speaker 1: to yourself? So? Do you really want to write the novel?
Speaker 1: You tell me, and that's what I got for you all.
Speaker 1: Let's go onto the next letter subject recognized in your dream. Oh.
Speaker 1: I like that We've been get a lot of posts
Speaker 1: about our letters about people in their dreams. That means
Speaker 1: a lie because you know, vitamin D is a dream
Speaker 1: of mine, it's my vision. And to know that this
Speaker 1: exchange is happening right now, I'm just grateful that we're
Speaker 1: all on the same with them together of living our
Speaker 1: best life, living out the dreams wide away. All right,
Speaker 1: let's dive in. Dear Dawn Hey from Missouri. Hey Dawn,
Speaker 1: I'm a thirty year old woman living in St. Louis
Speaker 1: and I have been doing pretty okay during the last year.
Speaker 1: My job let me work from home and I mostly
Speaker 1: just hang out. I feel like everything is just in
Speaker 1: a holding pattern right now, and I'm worried that once
Speaker 1: life gets back up to speed it was charging yet before,
Speaker 1: I won't be able to get going with a running start.
Speaker 1: I want to get myself together and actually achieve something
Speaker 1: outside of my comfortable, with boring day job. I tried
Speaker 1: to pick up some hobbies that I could maybe make
Speaker 1: some money off of, but that didn't pan out. That's funny.
Speaker 1: Because got really into making bread imposta thinking I was
Speaker 1: going to start a bakery or something. Okay, but nothing
Speaker 1: really sparked a fire in my belly the way I expect.
Speaker 1: And maybe that's the problem that I expected to be
Speaker 1: something big and overwhelming. I've never really had a strong
Speaker 1: sense of passion before, so it's hard to know if
Speaker 1: the field is right. You seem like a very passionate person.
Speaker 1: So could you shine the light on how to know
Speaker 1: when something is your dream? For lacquer or for a
Speaker 1: better word, for those of us who may not have
Speaker 1: thought they could have a dream, and that was beautiful
Speaker 1: recognizing the dream. I like that. The best way that
Speaker 1: I can explain that when we talk about dreams is
Speaker 1: a dream is going to speak before you open your mouth.
Speaker 1: It's something that comes to you. It actually gives you life,
Speaker 1: the idea of it. Even oftentimes when you're exercising it.
Speaker 1: A dream you're gonna notice is gonna actually feed yourself.
Speaker 1: You've heard it oftentimes um be an instrument of peace
Speaker 1: or even your own peace. I think when you're pursuing
Speaker 1: your dream, that is your peace. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that you're not going to spend countless hours of being
Speaker 1: up and doing all these things, you're just gonna realize
Speaker 1: that you can get lost in it and it feels
Speaker 1: good when you do it. Now, when you talk about like, Okay,
Speaker 1: how do I find into it? But it sounds like
Speaker 1: you dived into something. You said, I got really into
Speaker 1: making bread imposta thinking I was going to start a
Speaker 1: bakery or something. So it was the passion that you
Speaker 1: were just into post or where you're going after because
Speaker 1: you won't start the bakery. I'll tell you the main
Speaker 1: problem that I'm identifying is that you are comfortable. And
Speaker 1: what I realized is that when you're going after the dream,
Speaker 1: just like I said in the previous letter, it's everything
Speaker 1: that happens outside of your comfort zone. Stakes are higher,
Speaker 1: you have to look more, you're discerning more. But if
Speaker 1: you're in the midst of you know, normality, and you're
Speaker 1: just comfortable with just being where you are, why would
Speaker 1: you have any other passion to move forward while you've
Speaker 1: Why would you be ambitious to think outside of the box.
Speaker 1: Why would you want to even exist or even know
Speaker 1: to exist where the magic happens. Dreams are magical. That's
Speaker 1: why they call them dreams. It's a figment of your imagination.
Speaker 1: But if you're caughting a world in a box, a
Speaker 1: box because you're comfortable, you know all four while sides,
Speaker 1: all four walls. You know how it stands, how it sits,
Speaker 1: how it looks. It doesn't change it just that box,
Speaker 1: and you have borders, you have parameters, and what you're
Speaker 1: staying in that box. But a dream, if it's magical,
Speaker 1: it's everything that happens outside of that and finding that
Speaker 1: you just have to get out there and explore. You say, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm just hanging out. That's good. You get to observe
Speaker 1: and you get to see. But now it's time to
Speaker 1: do something that challenges you after your day. Go out
Speaker 1: there and do something different. Go paint, go draw, go sing,
Speaker 1: just explore. Life is meant for us to live. And
Speaker 1: I know, like you said, we got all have to
Speaker 1: get into the house and stay in for a bit,
Speaker 1: to really lock in because of all the craziness that's
Speaker 1: going out outside. But a lot of people, just as yourself,
Speaker 1: while not being able to go outside, we all have
Speaker 1: been forced to look inside. What's in? So what do
Speaker 1: you want? Well, you can only know what you want
Speaker 1: by explore. You would have put it on your wear
Speaker 1: in the world is carm in San Diego ahead, whereas
Speaker 1: Waldo and just get out there and just take a chance,
Speaker 1: because you already know what this feels like. We already
Speaker 1: know this, like we keep living life to experience something different,
Speaker 1: something more. But if you already know this and you
Speaker 1: know there's more to exist, because that's the way time is,
Speaker 1: that's the way different circumstances, why not go after it? Now?
Speaker 1: You can say, hey, Dawn, you know, uh, I just
Speaker 1: know what I like. But you know that this isn't
Speaker 1: enough because if it was enough, you wouldn't be right
Speaker 1: at me. So that I'm telling you go out there
Speaker 1: and explore. Pick up the baker and thing. You didn't
Speaker 1: say that you didn't like it. You just said that
Speaker 1: you didn't stop and start. And oftentimes, you know, we
Speaker 1: can't expect it to look magical, but you gotta realize
Speaker 1: that the magic is inside it, the journey, like my
Speaker 1: old barber has he would say, Louis T. Powell. He said, Dawn,
Speaker 1: the journey is the experience, and the experience is the journey.
Speaker 1: You don't you don't never arrive until you die. In
Speaker 1: the meantime, we're all just becoming. So whether you're becoming
Speaker 1: a chef temporarily, whether you're becoming a singer, just become
Speaker 1: just evolved. Just keep going wing. We see a time
Speaker 1: and time again as we move forward, that oftentimes is
Speaker 1: that something so far distance, It can look so huge,
Speaker 1: it can look like a distraction. But as you approach
Speaker 1: and as you move forward, you start to realize, I
Speaker 1: get a clear idea on what the picture is. Take
Speaker 1: a step forward to find your picture and put it together.
Speaker 1: Peace par piece. Okay, So the passion lies and doing
Speaker 1: exactly what you were doing, and that is just simply
Speaker 1: finding out what you can get lost in finding out
Speaker 1: what gives you peace, because that's the gift. So you
Speaker 1: can present it to other people and it turns out
Speaker 1: to be presented back to you. Remember, we're all in
Speaker 1: this next energy exchange. Okay, keep exploring, Go make some
Speaker 1: of my positive In fact, I might um email me again.
Speaker 1: I might reply with my dress again. Us send me
Speaker 1: some goodies after COVID restrictions of course. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: let's move on to the next letter subject aft in
Speaker 1: the family, Dear Dawn, what do you do in family
Speaker 1: steals from you? That's my question to you down. My
Speaker 1: sister took my favorite cookbook, and I know that girl
Speaker 1: don't cook. See, this is the problem that she has
Speaker 1: had for a while. She'll pill for something quick during
Speaker 1: a family function or a party and then keep her later.
Speaker 1: I caught her doing it several times when we were
Speaker 1: growing up. I never told our parents, but I warned
Speaker 1: her that it would come back to bite her, but
Speaker 1: that was when we were girls. Anyway, I think she
Speaker 1: must have taken it when she was helping me move
Speaker 1: last week. I've been so busy getting things in ordered
Speaker 1: my new place that I had been ordering out until
Speaker 1: a few days ago. I tore the place apart after
Speaker 1: I had put it together looking for it. The only
Speaker 1: conclusion I could come up with is that she had
Speaker 1: taken it. So I'm wondering should I confront her. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to start drama, but I would like my
Speaker 1: book back. And I also worry that she's still stealing
Speaker 1: things frivolously. Is it my place to tell her what
Speaker 1: to do? Should I just ask her to not steal
Speaker 1: from me? Should I tell our parents that's something to say?
Speaker 1: Should you act like an adult? And I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to be smart about it. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: real as an adult, you would confront your sister and say, hey,
Speaker 1: what happened? You know? Did you see this? But see, oftentimes,
Speaker 1: how we do anything is how we do everything. And
Speaker 1: you were a child yourself as a child, or as
Speaker 1: she was picking up things frivously as a child, but
Speaker 1: nobody reprimmended to her tell her not to do. You
Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. So she got in a situation
Speaker 1: where she got used to moving like that. So that
Speaker 1: becomes a norm now for me. Once, shame on you,
Speaker 1: fool me twice, shame on me. Okay, I said that, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So if we're going on the lines that how somebody
Speaker 1: does any thing is how you do everything? What made
Speaker 1: you feel that you're an exception that your sister wouldn't
Speaker 1: steal from you? And by no means I'm trying to
Speaker 1: paint your sister off to be a bad person. But
Speaker 1: is there a cloud or a show that you think
Speaker 1: that she wouldn't Because your sister is a person just
Speaker 1: like anyone else. You understand what I'm saying. And the
Speaker 1: fact that she went in there and took your belongings,
Speaker 1: so you think it needs to be addressed. But more importantly,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to step up at your front your sister,
Speaker 1: And that's just the ask is not to accuse. Now,
Speaker 1: it's unfortunate that sometimes our history it follows us, but
Speaker 1: that's just the nature of the beast. And as a
Speaker 1: grown woman, if she's the one that help you, you
Speaker 1: can't find it. One plus one is too, but doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that it's true. So should you confront her? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just ask you know, um, And it's not about certain drama.
Speaker 1: It's just about hey, if you saw it, but you
Speaker 1: can go on, go ahead and live the life that
Speaker 1: you did before. And seeing her as a young child,
Speaker 1: stealing things and not saying anything, not addressing to your parents.
Speaker 1: But she gonna end up locked up one day. You know.
Speaker 1: It could be a bag, you could be a shirt
Speaker 1: this term then the way, a thousand dollars, a million dollars,
Speaker 1: it could be somebody's credit, who knows. But it does
Speaker 1: have to stop. Now. It's not for you to throw
Speaker 1: your body on the line, but to hold her accountable
Speaker 1: for who she is and what she's done. And often
Speaker 1: times I speaking up for yourself, So yes, come from her.
Speaker 1: But that confrontation is just the inquiry. Now, if you
Speaker 1: can't get through, perhaps this is something that you can
Speaker 1: have a conversation with your parents about. I mean again,
Speaker 1: that is their child. They know her inside and out
Speaker 1: and get to the bottom of it. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that this is something that you should brush up
Speaker 1: under the rug. Okay, all right, let's move on to
Speaker 1: the next letter. Subject to X is want me? Do
Speaker 1: I want them? Dear Dawn, I recently had a running
Speaker 1: with an old accident. It's got me a little shaken. See.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty and we go back a long way, twelve
Speaker 1: years to my freshman year at college. She's a year older,
Speaker 1: so I was cotton spitting when she expressed interest in me.
Speaker 1: The love came fast and felt like it left faster,
Speaker 1: But that was after four years together and the ups
Speaker 1: and downs I've come to understand come with a lot
Speaker 1: of relationships. Things were good and she was my first love,
Speaker 1: but she wasn't really down with my choice of careers. See,
Speaker 1: I'm a jazz musician by trade, went to school for
Speaker 1: it and everything. She didn't think it was suitable or
Speaker 1: a stable job, and I just couldn't put the sacks
Speaker 1: down so we split and eventually I found myself in
Speaker 1: situation with some other women. Now years later, she's been
Speaker 1: hitting me with these bitter texts like this could have
Speaker 1: been us, two pictures of couples and other mess I
Speaker 1: can't lie that I still have some love for her,
Speaker 1: but I don't really know what's changed on her end.
Speaker 1: And to add on to that, in the last six years,
Speaker 1: I've made a connection with a woman who really knows
Speaker 1: me and loves me for who I am. We've been
Speaker 1: on and off since be mad In. I haven't really
Speaker 1: spent more than five months single prior to I think,
Speaker 1: of course, I messed it up, partially by continuing to
Speaker 1: be communication with my first ax. After our third breakup,
Speaker 1: the new girl decided to take a job abroad. That
Speaker 1: was at the start of quarantine. We've had middling contact
Speaker 1: since then, and for the last year I've been kind
Speaker 1: of keeping a low profile, not dating, trying to stay
Speaker 1: alive make it work in l A as a cash here.
Speaker 1: It's been a struggle, but I feel good where I'm at,
Speaker 1: good with myself. Now she's drunk, calling me and telling
Speaker 1: me how she's always loved me and asking to come
Speaker 1: out to visit her. I keep thinking that, yes, that
Speaker 1: sounds great. I love her and the vacation would be nice.
Speaker 1: But I wonder do I want to be in a relationship?
Speaker 1: And both of these incidents started around the same time
Speaker 1: last month. What's going on? Should I get back to
Speaker 1: the one of them? Should I just keep my head
Speaker 1: down and move forward with my life? In life? You
Speaker 1: gotta know what you want, baby, period um. And one
Speaker 1: thing you said is that you don't know if this
Speaker 1: is what you want a relationship. You know, I heard
Speaker 1: I saw on a TikTok video on social media somebody
Speaker 1: posted on Instagram. It was reposted from TikTok on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and somebody said, if you have to ever question whether
Speaker 1: somebody likes you, they don't. So you have the question
Speaker 1: whether or not you want to be in a relationship.
Speaker 1: You don't. Um, just thinking about the first X, you know,
Speaker 1: it reminds me of ericabai Do and her track bag. Lady,
Speaker 1: You're gonna miss your buzz dragging all those bags like that.
Speaker 1: I guess nobody ever told you all you must hold onto?
Speaker 1: Is you now? You had a situation where's back? She
Speaker 1: wasn't in agreement with your dreams? Your vision right, And remember,
Speaker 1: like I said previously another letter, I said, you have
Speaker 1: to know what you want right. If it doesn't serve you,
Speaker 1: it doesn't deserve you. If you aren't getting fed from
Speaker 1: this relationship, why are you there now? You used your
Speaker 1: keen discernment, you said, I don't belong here, this is
Speaker 1: not for me. Why does it change in this situation
Speaker 1: of knowing what you want? If you're saying that you
Speaker 1: don't know that your relationship, perhaps stay away and just
Speaker 1: like Erica, do I see how this the first X
Speaker 1: she wasn't for you? And when I say for you,
Speaker 1: probably literally in the sense, but even for your dreams.
Speaker 1: Who wants to feel like they can't be themselves with
Speaker 1: the most intimate person in their life. You should be
Speaker 1: sharing your dreams, exploring your dreams, but you have a
Speaker 1: situation where she's not for them. So what happens? You
Speaker 1: got into another relationship with a young lady. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you're a guy who does like relationships, but it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're trying to find your footing, so you
Speaker 1: move on. You meet the younger than young lady before
Speaker 1: she goes abroad, and you find out that your ex
Speaker 1: Remember that baggage that was behind you was starting to
Speaker 1: interfere with this relationship. It's interesting that you have the
Speaker 1: capacity to move forward, but you consistently carry a lot
Speaker 1: of things with you. So when you say, Okay, perhaps Dawn,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: and should I just keep my head down the answers yes.
Speaker 1: You gotta know what you want, just as clear that
Speaker 1: you are able to tell the first X that Yo,
Speaker 1: I want to be a musician. I want to pick
Speaker 1: up my sex and play at these jazz clubs. You
Speaker 1: gotta be that specific with your life because remember, how
Speaker 1: you do anything is how you do everything, So you
Speaker 1: may not be able to see it that clearly now
Speaker 1: when it comes to relationship and love. But just take
Speaker 1: the same scenario and put that in your dream. Are
Speaker 1: you willing to compromise your dream for a relationship. I
Speaker 1: think that's how you're gonna know off the bat. So
Speaker 1: when you have to juggle just talking about the first
Speaker 1: acts and whether or not you guys should be together,
Speaker 1: you gotta say to yourself, Hey, she's not supporting the
Speaker 1: identity of you, so how how can that feel good?
Speaker 1: So you can look at all these pictures of these
Speaker 1: couples and say, oh, this could have been us. No,
Speaker 1: it could have been because you're gonna be at the
Speaker 1: jazz club. Is she gonna be there to support you?
Speaker 1: Now you upset because now when you guys want to
Speaker 1: go out to eat, you gotta staying look on your
Speaker 1: face because she didn't even support your dreams. The very
Speaker 1: thing is that you change your life for the very
Speaker 1: thing that you invested your time, to energy, your money
Speaker 1: for your dreams and she's not there. So could that
Speaker 1: be as heck? You know you gotta be for each other.
Speaker 1: Now you got the other young lady who actually does support.
Speaker 1: But now you have to ask yourself are you available emotionally?
Speaker 1: Do you have the capacity to hold what she's offering.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you just said, hey, don I don't
Speaker 1: know if I want to be in a relationship. Both
Speaker 1: of these instances happened at the same time. See, just
Speaker 1: as clear as your disarnment was with your first sex
Speaker 1: about knowing what your dreams are, you need to have
Speaker 1: your discernment that clear where you talk about sharing your
Speaker 1: life with somebody, sharing that intimate moment with your with somebody,
Speaker 1: because all of that bleeds in every other area of
Speaker 1: your life. And what you just said is that you're
Speaker 1: unsure where you want to be well, as home is
Speaker 1: where the heart is, and the heart is a representation
Speaker 1: of love. Does that feel like home? Can you lay
Speaker 1: your head down there and feel comfortable? Does it make
Speaker 1: you change the identity of who you are, what you
Speaker 1: believe in, what you're going after? Those are the questions
Speaker 1: you have to ask yourself. And so you know the
Speaker 1: truth by the way it feels and where it directs you.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're not being directed in that location,
Speaker 1: that location of knowing I want to be located. I
Speaker 1: want to put myself in the GPS to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship. Do you know what I'm saying? I kind
Speaker 1: of would left to go right, But you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, is this your location? Is that what you want?
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like because you don't know, and you
Speaker 1: know the difference of knowing what you want. So I
Speaker 1: think you might all to keep your head down because
Speaker 1: you've been there, done that. You know what they have
Speaker 1: to offer, and if it doesn't satisfy you enough to
Speaker 1: go that way, Please do not waste anybody's time. We
Speaker 1: are too grown for that we are at a love
Speaker 1: on our lives. We are not young kids anymore, that
Speaker 1: we need to play with emotions. If somebody is direct
Speaker 1: enough to tell you what they want, just as direct
Speaker 1: as you were to say what your dreams are, please
Speaker 1: offer the same courtesy and respect. Allow somebody to choose.
Speaker 1: Do not sign up for a position that you don't
Speaker 1: plan to show up to. Okay, So until you can
Speaker 1: say I want to be in a relationship, stop stop
Speaker 1: with the foolish and stop entertaining it. Because you're clear
Speaker 1: on what they want. But the question is what do
Speaker 1: you want? And any type of relationship, we actually have
Speaker 1: to show up for one another. They're showing up and
Speaker 1: where are you? All right, let's go to the next letter.
Speaker 1: And this is the last letter. Subject was making progress.
Speaker 1: Then dad came back. Dear Dawn, I I don't really
Speaker 1: have a lot to complain about, or at least I
Speaker 1: didn't until recently, six weeks ago exactly actually, when my
Speaker 1: dad came back into my life. A little background. My
Speaker 1: dad is the fly by the seat of your pants
Speaker 1: kind of guy. Him and my mom broke up not
Speaker 1: long after I was born, and he's been moving from
Speaker 1: company to company in city to city. For the last
Speaker 1: twenty five years, I rarely saw him or heard from him.
Speaker 1: MR birthdays were norm It was hurtful, but I'm in
Speaker 1: therapy working on it. For a while in my early twenties,
Speaker 1: I was feeling so unacceptable that I had the hardest
Speaker 1: time even leaving the house. Now I'm enjoying life to
Speaker 1: the extent you can, and I'm working at a job
Speaker 1: I love, so on some level, I know that whatever
Speaker 1: pain I was called, I came out okay. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: even think that I don't need to know my dad,
Speaker 1: and the thing is, he's still my dad. Even though
Speaker 1: I loki kind of hated him, I love him and
Speaker 1: I want to have a positive relationship with him. So
Speaker 1: six weeks ago, he moves back to Oakland and starts
Speaker 1: living with my older sister. There are like five year
Speaker 1: age gap between us, so they have a lot closer relationship.
Speaker 1: She really wants to mend the rift in the family,
Speaker 1: and I'm just feeling kind of mixed of the idea.
Speaker 1: It's so awkward around him because every time I try
Speaker 1: to talk about the pain in his absence calls, he
Speaker 1: tells me it really wasn't his fault. And now after
Speaker 1: having improved therapy and gotten my life on an upward trajectory.
Speaker 1: Their prospect of having to engage in making me fear
Speaker 1: losing all of this progress I've made. How do I
Speaker 1: tell my sister I just can't or do I face
Speaker 1: my fear. I'm not sure what the fear is, um
Speaker 1: because if anything that I received that what you said
Speaker 1: was the fear is probably the confrontation of your dad
Speaker 1: because you're being vulnerable. Now. Where I applaud you is
Speaker 1: that you're doing the work. What I have to tell
Speaker 1: you to cut the light bulb and to keep in
Speaker 1: mind is that he's not willing to do the work.
Speaker 1: So it's a sticky situation. But you're showing up to
Speaker 1: a table that your dad isn't sitting at, and this
Speaker 1: table is laying out of how you feel, and what
Speaker 1: you're looking for is to completely heal. You can't ignore
Speaker 1: the fact and say I want no relationship with my
Speaker 1: father and say everything is okay, because if everything's okay,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't feel that missing piece. But you can't make
Speaker 1: somebody do anything because it sounds like what the communication
Speaker 1: is that he's receiving. It's not my fault and it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure this dialogue is the sense of blame,
Speaker 1: but you're expressing how it made you feel. And I
Speaker 1: know myself, I always say when I'm in a discribinant
Speaker 1: of somebody that I'm not trying to prove who's right
Speaker 1: or wrong, but I think it's about how it made
Speaker 1: someone feel. And when you love someone, you care about somebody,
Speaker 1: you care about what why they feel the way they
Speaker 1: feel you, because we all just want to be heard.
Speaker 1: You heard me saying before, whether it was the spiritual
Speaker 1: self trying to connect with the physical self to try
Speaker 1: to manifest dreams, whether it's a relationship with a partner,
Speaker 1: whether it's a daughter and a father, you're asking to
Speaker 1: be heard because at some point, this little girl, whose
Speaker 1: father was out there living his life, going after the
Speaker 1: next thing, perhaps didn't get a chance to see the
Speaker 1: little girl. And so as an adult, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my life is booming, I'm popping. Whoa, whoa. You forgot
Speaker 1: that that little girl is still hurt. Now To sit
Speaker 1: there and try to negate the fact that she doesn't
Speaker 1: need her father, well that's not fair. But it also
Speaker 1: wasn't fair to the adult to know yourself is that
Speaker 1: you're showing up and your father isn't showing up in
Speaker 1: the way that you can now The next thing I
Speaker 1: was saying, because you have been going to therapy, perhaps
Speaker 1: try to invite him to one of your sessions. Open
Speaker 1: up the conversation, because oftentimes I feel like we can
Speaker 1: see the message and where it's coming from, and immediately
Speaker 1: it's a block. And sometimes just as though if we
Speaker 1: were try get to one location another another, we use
Speaker 1: a car, whether we're cooking dishes, we use the utensils.
Speaker 1: We have these tools in planes so that we can
Speaker 1: effectively do what it is that we need to do.
Speaker 1: And one of the tools that you have is that
Speaker 1: you have a therapist. So use your tools appropriately. Open
Speaker 1: the invitation to have your death there and truly expressed
Speaker 1: that this is not a blame, but I want to
Speaker 1: let you know how I feel because no matter what
Speaker 1: how you trying to say, I'm just gonna go away
Speaker 1: from it and not, you know, address my father. That's
Speaker 1: not true because it still exists because it's how it
Speaker 1: makes you feel and understanding that it's gonna bleed out
Speaker 1: in other areas of your life. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: you gotta love on yourself to know that what doesn't
Speaker 1: serve you doesn't deserve you. And if it puts you
Speaker 1: in the same situation every time that you're around your
Speaker 1: father that your remind of we can take you back
Speaker 1: into depression, that we can take you back backwards, then
Speaker 1: you have to save yourself. And it doesn't mean cutting off.
Speaker 1: It just depends on how I say. You gotta treat
Speaker 1: someertain people like you gotta white outfit on. You can't
Speaker 1: let them get too close. And sometimes that close that
Speaker 1: you're thinking about. What I'm referring to is physically is
Speaker 1: that you can't emotionally expose yourself to those things. That's
Speaker 1: just the maturity level. You can't control that. But you
Speaker 1: have to understand what you're dealing with. You have to
Speaker 1: truly see what you're dealing with. And there's a trickery
Speaker 1: because we get to this point in our life when
Speaker 1: we're kids, we look at our parents and people that
Speaker 1: are older than us as though they have the answer
Speaker 1: to everything. And it isn't until we get to an
Speaker 1: adult that we realized that yo, they were just trying
Speaker 1: to figure out the same thing. But what's gobout to
Speaker 1: happen right now is that this whole awkward feeling that
Speaker 1: you're feeling around him. It's called because you guys can't communicate,
Speaker 1: So that's gonna cause friction, and then it's gonna cause
Speaker 1: a sense of blame and saying, oh, it's not my fault,
Speaker 1: it is your fault versus like can you hear me?
Speaker 1: I'm speaking, So don't stop your shine, but try another approach.
Speaker 1: Try to go ahead and um see if he's all
Speaker 1: but welcoming to come to therapy, just so that you
Speaker 1: can be heard and let him know that you're just
Speaker 1: trying to be heard and to be understood, because sometimes
Speaker 1: that goes along further than where the blame is. And
Speaker 1: hopefully with your dad and hopefully with you, you guys
Speaker 1: realize that that relationship is important because if it's not
Speaker 1: a situation right now where he's badgering you and saying no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, let's mend about what the past was, because
Speaker 1: guess what, he ain't gonna be here forever. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna be here forever. And I'm telling you from a
Speaker 1: person who both of my parents are deceased. I would
Speaker 1: love to have a conversation. I would love to figure
Speaker 1: out how to work it out, but I do understand
Speaker 1: that you still deserve to be hurt because that little
Speaker 1: girl is hurt. So my suggestion will be the next
Speaker 1: step invite him overto therapy and then just see where
Speaker 1: it goes from there. But do not sacrifice yourself. You
Speaker 1: come too far to go backwards, all right? And uh,
Speaker 1: those are all the letters that we have today. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Shout out to each and every one of you guys
Speaker 1: that wrote the letter. Thank you. I'll receive you, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate you for being bold enough to want to
Speaker 1: be better, and not because I'm just saying it, but
Speaker 1: to put yourself on the line to know that some
Speaker 1: things may be all balanced. And when I say all balance,
Speaker 1: it just doesn't feel right. And you know that's one
Speaker 1: thing that I talked about with the vitamin D as
Speaker 1: I talk about your life that account, and when you
Speaker 1: know that you are your greatest asset, you understand that
Speaker 1: just like an account, it's all about deposits and withdrawals.
Speaker 1: What are you adding to your life and what are
Speaker 1: you deducting? And the thing is it's going to be
Speaker 1: a constant ever flow. But it's just about balance and
Speaker 1: when you can addrust yourself and cut on the lights
Speaker 1: on and say, hey, I don't have it all figure out. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to still figure out everything. You realize that
Speaker 1: how much you can grow from that. You feel what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, So thank you. I appreciate it. And if
Speaker 1: you heard something you're like, Dawn, I want to get
Speaker 1: your thoughts too. You can email me Vitamin D at
Speaker 1: Dawn day Speace dot com and you can just put
Speaker 1: in the subject advice letter and I'm either myself or
Speaker 1: Jeremiah or Inn. We will get to it and we'll
Speaker 1: make sure that we answer these questions because we like
Speaker 1: to hear from you. Because remember, Vitamin D is all
Speaker 1: about being better so that you can live life on
Speaker 1: purpose and for purpose. All right, So again the email
Speaker 1: is Vitamin D at Dawn Day Speak dot com. Now,
Speaker 1: outside of the podcast, if you want some more Vitamin
Speaker 1: D in your life, one, you need to check me
Speaker 1: out on Saturdays on the Steve Harvey Morning Show for
Speaker 1: my What's Happening segment. Too. You need to follow me
Speaker 1: on social media at Dawn Day Speaks on social media
Speaker 1: and get some extra Vitamin D in your life. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to you next time. We got a
Speaker 1: lot of great things coming up with the podcast Why
Speaker 1: we Do Live Like We're cooking up a lot of magic.
Speaker 1: We're making dreams cometable. Okay, So until next time, I'll
Speaker 1: talk to you, and I want you to always remember
Speaker 1: that you are. Your greatest has act