Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubing.
Speaker 1: I think a lot.
Speaker 3: I think it like, it's short and sweet, it's familiar.
Speaker 3: You get to jing.
Speaker 4: We are scrub dumb dubbing in.
Speaker 3: No, I think I think what you did was perfect.
Speaker 4: Yeah the second time.
Speaker 3: No, no, the first time.
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 4: Tweak it each week and see which one lands, and
Speaker 4: see which one lands. Yeah, yeah, let's see what the people.
Speaker 3: The one thing about the scrubbers, they'll let us know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And one thing that we really just need to get
Speaker 4: this podcast in tiptop shape for the Golden Globe entry right.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yes, And Sandra, oh, get her on the map,
Speaker 3: get us on her map.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: We're gonna have to think of some more guest possibilities
Speaker 4: because we cannot be attached to just one outcome. But
Speaker 4: I'm on it, okay, all right, twenty twenty six is
Speaker 4: gonna be here before you know it.
Speaker 3: Time is just flying by, flying by, because I got
Speaker 3: a memory on my phone and it was Jojo and
Speaker 3: Jordan's wedding. It's been three years. That's crazy, which is crazy,
Speaker 3: and I just feel like, y'all it's gonna be y'all's
Speaker 3: wedding anniversary. It's gonna just happen so fast.
Speaker 4: Well, it was our two month anniversary yesterday.
Speaker 3: Happy anniversary, Thank you so much. How have the past
Speaker 3: two months been a marriage?
Speaker 4: Great? It hasn't felt two months is a long time
Speaker 4: it has. It's felt like two weeks. I feel like
Speaker 4: we just got there.
Speaker 1: Britney's marriages didn't even make it to two months. Yeah, milestone, thank.
Speaker 4: You, Masel. Just wedded, Bliss, just wedded, bliss. I'm obsessed
Speaker 4: with being married.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy to hear that. Yeah, I'm happy to
Speaker 3: hear that, because not everyone feels that way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we didn't really celebrate our two month anniversary per se,
Speaker 4: but maybe we'll celebrate six months, maybe a year.
Speaker 1: I thought you were planning a dinner for your two months.
Speaker 1: It did not happen, so funny.
Speaker 4: Your memory is not so great. The dinner was for.
Speaker 3: Like a oh, Michael, wow, she just snapped her brawl.
Speaker 3: So we.
Speaker 4: Did like a botchi ball tournament, which is like a
Speaker 4: It's this thing called a party book. Do you know
Speaker 4: what that is?
Speaker 1: A party book?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's something to like raise money for the school. Okay,
Speaker 4: so we did like a bochie tournament on our actual
Speaker 4: two month anniversary.
Speaker 1: Oh so your dinner. Oh you went on a dinner
Speaker 1: for like step Mother's Day.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, it was cute. Yeah, thank you for paying attention.
Speaker 1: Well you showed me a lovely text hero you know,
Speaker 1: it was extremely sweet. I forgot it was not for
Speaker 1: your anniversary. It was for Mother's Day. Now she's a stepmom, yes,
Speaker 1: yes she is.
Speaker 3: Yes. Mother's Day is so interesting because I and I
Speaker 3: don't know if it's because social media you see people
Speaker 3: talking about it more, but I felt this Mother's Day
Speaker 3: there was like I saw people just being like, it's
Speaker 3: Mother's Day. My husband's off golfing, And I was like,
Speaker 3: like a lot of those types of videos, Oh really yeah,
Speaker 3: And I was like, man, that's tough. Like the expectation
Speaker 3: of Mother's Day is hard in my opinion, because it's
Speaker 3: like and then I saw someone saying, if if you're
Speaker 3: looking forward to this one day for your husband to
Speaker 3: like let you sleep in or like do the dishes
Speaker 3: or whatever it is, maybe he needs to be helping
Speaker 3: you out more throughout the year if you're like depending
Speaker 3: on this one day for him to do. It's true,
Speaker 3: what do you do for your wife?
Speaker 1: Tended it wasn't Mother's Day because our oldest was not able.
Speaker 1: We're not able to see her, and so my wife
Speaker 1: was very sad about that. So we said, were, it
Speaker 1: is not Mother's Day. It is just Sunday, and we're
Speaker 1: going to see Ali over a Memorial Day weekend. We
Speaker 1: will celebrate Mother's Day. Then I did get her a
Speaker 1: bottle of wine. Ife, like, I couldn't do nothing. But
Speaker 1: we didn't really do much.
Speaker 3: We've had We've had like some Christmases where not everyone
Speaker 3: could be there, our birthdays and we've just gone like,
Speaker 3: we'll celebrate it. You know.
Speaker 1: This was the first time we've ever all not been
Speaker 1: together on Mother's Day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dang, it's keep coming.
Speaker 1: Tell me about it. Yeah, yesterday my youngest got her
Speaker 1: driver's license.
Speaker 4: Lies last week just likely.
Speaker 1: And as far as I'm concerned, I'm now the father
Speaker 1: of two adult children. Once they get their license, that
Speaker 1: is a major dividing line.
Speaker 3: Is that so scary to let your kid drive?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 3: I feel like that's so scary here.
Speaker 1: Then finally they'll get I don't have drive them all
Speaker 1: over the place. But that's quality time in that car.
Speaker 1: Man once when Ali got her license, after that it
Speaker 1: was so different. Yeah, we didn't really see her much
Speaker 1: after that, and it's going to be the same thing,
Speaker 1: I'm sure.
Speaker 4: Dang.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we're happy for her, but it's a it's
Speaker 1: kind of a sad milestone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well because it's like independence here I come.
Speaker 1: It is. And also I found that all of my
Speaker 1: oldest milestones are celebrations and the youngest milestones are devastating
Speaker 1: because it's the last one. It's the last one to
Speaker 1: graduate elementary school, that's the last you know, all of
Speaker 1: those moments, the first one are so exciting for the
Speaker 1: last not happening.
Speaker 4: Time to bust out the old.
Speaker 3: Jobs, the old Joe.
Speaker 4: No, but it's true, like as you get older, like
Speaker 4: your your daughters are going to get married, and they're
Speaker 4: going to have like mother in laws, Like it just
Speaker 4: be's so complicated because you have so many mother was
Speaker 4: in your life, you know, and you want to celebrate
Speaker 4: an honor all of them. It was so might live
Speaker 4: far farther apart, and so it's just like challenge. It's
Speaker 4: like a little tetris, the game of Tetris.
Speaker 3: It really is It's so interesting because I was telling
Speaker 3: someone the other day that my mom for most of
Speaker 3: my life, like I would say, till I was mid twenties,
Speaker 3: I thought motherhood was like the easy I was like,
Speaker 3: that's what I'm gonna do, Like that is just the
Speaker 3: easiest thing, because my mom made it seem so easy,
Speaker 3: like she loved it so much that I felt like,
Speaker 3: why want I want to do this. And it wasn't
Speaker 3: until I saw other people doing it and like I
Speaker 3: realized how challenging it was that I was like, Wow,
Speaker 3: she is even more amazing than I realized at that
Speaker 3: age because she made it feel like that. Yeah, And
Speaker 3: I'm like it seemed like the hardest thing in the
Speaker 3: world now like now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, especially with like social media and stuff.
Speaker 3: I've kids, Yeah, which I guess she feel like I
Speaker 3: got to avoid battle.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's another layer of like fear all
Speaker 4: the things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, true. We do have a Dear Bonnie episode today, Yes,
Speaker 3: we do. Let's get started here.
Speaker 1: We go from a WLW scrubber II Becka Tani Houston
Speaker 1: and marketing. He's been advice on how to propose as
Speaker 1: a WLW scrubbery women, women loving women, whatever. My girlfriend
Speaker 1: and I have been together two years, have chatted about
Speaker 1: getting engaged soon, and went to look at rings awhile back.
Speaker 1: We decided on what we liked, but to keep the surprise,
Speaker 1: we're secretly ordering each other's rings and we'll propose at
Speaker 1: some point. I'm type A, so I'm ready to get
Speaker 1: this ball rolling. The issue is I mostly plan and
Speaker 1: figure everything out. I was the first to ask her
Speaker 1: to be my girlfriend. I was the first to say
Speaker 1: I love you, so I think will be really special
Speaker 1: if she proposed to me first. But if she does that,
Speaker 1: then I don't really get to surprise her because she
Speaker 1: knows they'll be coming shortly thereafter, and I love a surprise. Also,
Speaker 1: her family's super religious and isn't really coming around, so
Speaker 1: for some reason, I think if she asks me first,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have to deal with remarks about how I
Speaker 1: rushed her into something or persuaded her eye roll. What
Speaker 1: should I do? I have an idea on how I
Speaker 1: want to propose, and I am ready to order her ring,
Speaker 1: but I know she's more of a goal with the
Speaker 1: flow type partner, and it's going to be a little
Speaker 1: bit Should I wait propose to finally get to have
Speaker 1: my special moment or should I get everything in order
Speaker 1: for her to be surprised? Becca, I know you're keeping
Speaker 1: it under wraps, but are you worried about not being
Speaker 1: surprised if you go first? Any advice is appreciated. Love
Speaker 1: you guys. Oh that is very excited to hear it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, doing a creepy tap on her fingers. Yes, I
Speaker 3: personally am not worried at all about not being surprised
Speaker 3: if I go first, So that hasn't been like a thought.
Speaker 3: I think I would still be surprised and excited regardless,
Speaker 3: because it is That is the fun part of WLW
Speaker 3: is that, like both people get typically both people get
Speaker 3: proposed to. So I was talking to someone the other
Speaker 3: day and they were like, I just love that, Like
Speaker 3: she was she's married to a man, but she was like,
Speaker 3: I just love that you both get to experience that.
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't even think I really understood that. I don't
Speaker 1: think I knew that. I know that I thought either
Speaker 1: of you could do it. I didn't realize then the
Speaker 1: other person also does it. I didn't realize.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not everyone either. I guess not everyone does that,
Speaker 3: but most people that I've seen do it. But I
Speaker 3: guess different tricks for different things. I say, I know
Speaker 3: that sometimes when you're the one who plans everything, like
Speaker 3: I would say, definitely in our relationship, I'm the one
Speaker 3: who like plans and is like the surprise, like the
Speaker 3: person who surprises and and does a lot of that.
Speaker 3: Even though I don't consider myself type A. I think
Speaker 3: it's just is what it is. And I don't think
Speaker 3: you waiting for something that you really want to do.
Speaker 3: I don't think you should wait for something that you're
Speaker 3: really excited about just out of hoping that maybe she'll
Speaker 3: do it first.
Speaker 4: Or for that matter, what her family's going to think.
Speaker 4: I know, because that should be on the last.
Speaker 3: It's so hard. I mean, I think it's it's so
Speaker 3: hard when you're in that and your family, people that
Speaker 3: you love and care about, like it adds an element
Speaker 3: and especially pressure for the other person. But I think
Speaker 3: you just go for it. I think you know what
Speaker 3: you want to do, you have a plan, and I
Speaker 3: think if you know that she's going to propose eventually,
Speaker 3: you're still going to get to have your moment. And
Speaker 3: I hope that maybe she's able to pull off an
Speaker 3: epic surprise and surprise you. Even if you know what's coming,
Speaker 3: you don't know when. Even now you know what's coming,
Speaker 3: you just don't know when.
Speaker 1: Should you give her a partner some a little bit
Speaker 1: of a time frame here, should give her some runway
Speaker 1: before she if she does this tomorrow, she's not even
Speaker 1: giving her partner a chance to be the one to
Speaker 1: do it. Maybe she wants to be the one to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: What you mean, like say, hey, are we thinking like
Speaker 3: the next.
Speaker 4: Like you don't do this in the next like ultimating
Speaker 4: a conversation?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, who does that? Who doesn't?
Speaker 4: I mean, nobody does that.
Speaker 1: It's May fifteenth. Maybe you think to yourself, I'm going
Speaker 1: to I'm not going to say this out loud, but
Speaker 1: I'll give her till the end of summer and I'll
Speaker 1: plan something for on Labor Day. If she hasn't done it, oh.
Speaker 3: I see, like she waits to see if she does
Speaker 3: it in that timeframe.
Speaker 1: But not like angrily tapping your foot looking at your watch.
Speaker 1: Just kind of give her a chance, yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, and then make your plan.
Speaker 3: I think if maybe.
Speaker 4: Take her phone and like speak the word engagement into it,
Speaker 4: so like things just start popping up and ads start
Speaker 4: popping up. You know a little subconscious.
Speaker 3: You don't have to go that deep, but I also
Speaker 3: it's that deep.
Speaker 4: It's like very easy. You just like they go to
Speaker 4: the bathroom and you're just like engagement engagement rings rings proposal,
Speaker 4: postal proposal.
Speaker 3: I think that if you want to give her time,
Speaker 3: like Mark suggested, I think that you do it not
Speaker 3: feeling resentful or angry if it if it does take
Speaker 3: longer than that, and then if you haven't gotten it
Speaker 3: by if you can do it in a way that
Speaker 3: you don't feel upset, then propose when you're ready. I'm
Speaker 3: so excited. That's so exciting. And I think as much
Speaker 3: as you can, even if her parents don't come around,
Speaker 3: or if they roll their eyes or whatever, know that
Speaker 3: it's what both of you want and that's what matters.
Speaker 3: And you have a lot of people who love you
Speaker 3: and support you, including the four of us.
Speaker 4: Yes, before we move on to the next email, have
Speaker 4: you given more thought to proposal?
Speaker 3: Mmmm? You'll have to see one't you not?
Speaker 1: When?
Speaker 3: But like, how oh? I have some ideas but nothing
Speaker 3: in concrete. Yeah?
Speaker 4: How many ideas? Like one to two, like two to four?
Speaker 3: A couple i'd like to yeah, I feel like two. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So that's you think about that, and then we're going
Speaker 3: to take a break and we'll be right back. All right,
Speaker 3: We are back, moving right along. We are baby.
Speaker 1: This is from Heartbroken Too Soon. II beca Tania Mark
Speaker 1: and Easton. I'm twenty six. I said it my first
Speaker 1: job in the corporate world about six months ago, and
Speaker 1: I've had a crush and an older coworker that's thirty
Speaker 1: since the minute I met him. Right around the time
Speaker 1: I started working at the company, he and his girlfriend
Speaker 1: broke up, and I kind of suspected this as he
Speaker 1: would try to talk to me more and drop some
Speaker 1: hints that he was interested. He asked me out. We
Speaker 1: went on a handful of dates. They were amazing. He's respectful,
Speaker 1: he's kind, We're compatible. He seemed to like me too.
Speaker 1: He told me he's looking for a long term relationship.
Speaker 1: About a week ago, he stopped talking to me. He
Speaker 1: was still responded if I texted, but I could tell
Speaker 1: he wasn't putting in the effort. Well, he got fired.
Speaker 1: That's why I didn't hear from him. I heard that
Speaker 1: from another coworker. The job we have takes a lot
Speaker 1: of our time and energy, and he was fired out
Speaker 1: of the blue since our company was downsizing. I can
Speaker 1: understand he must be angry and embarrassed and doesn't want
Speaker 1: to talk about it with me, which I don't think
Speaker 1: he owes me we've only been out a handful of times,
Speaker 1: but also doesn't feel fair to me that he has
Speaker 1: basically ghosted me. My question is where does this leave me.
Speaker 1: I've reached out a couple of times asking to see him,
Speaker 1: but he has said he can't. I don't want to
Speaker 1: give up on him, but I also won't keep reaching
Speaker 1: out since he clearly doesn't want to see me right now.
Speaker 1: Do I give it time and see if he reaches out,
Speaker 1: or do I just move on? My fear is that
Speaker 1: I found my person and I'm losing him, or for
Speaker 1: a situation out of my control. I love you all
Speaker 1: so much. I really could use some outside perspective.
Speaker 3: I think you move on. Yeah, I think you do
Speaker 3: your thing.
Speaker 1: Wow, blunt and unanimous because.
Speaker 3: I think that he is using I think I don't
Speaker 3: know the job thing feels like an excuse. Like I
Speaker 3: get it. He's probably hurt and embarrassed and doesn't want
Speaker 3: to talk about it, But that shouldn't affect his feelings
Speaker 3: or or pursuing you.
Speaker 4: No excuse me, just woke up. And if it is
Speaker 4: like that's what I'm saying, like he obviously is not
Speaker 4: mature enough, because I feel like, obviously, yes, getting fired sucks,
Speaker 4: you're e gets to blow to your ego, it's a
Speaker 4: blow to all the things. But he should be able
Speaker 4: to communicate in an adult manner and in a mature
Speaker 4: manner to you that he's going through a right now
Speaker 4: what mark?
Speaker 1: I No, I was waiting for you to finish.
Speaker 4: Oh, well, that he is embarrassed or whatever he's going through,
Speaker 4: but that he still likes you and wants to continue
Speaker 4: dating you, but like he just needs a little time.
Speaker 1: I would to give him a little more credit. No,
Speaker 1: I think if he loved that job. I love my job.
Speaker 1: I do. If I got fired tomorrow, I wouldn't really
Speaker 1: want to be too much in touch, and certainly not
Speaker 1: date someone who's here, because it would be a daily
Speaker 1: reminder of what I've lost and the thing that I
Speaker 1: used to love that is gone. I think that would
Speaker 1: be very difficult for a guy.
Speaker 3: You're telling me if you met AMers at a corporate job,
Speaker 3: tell him and then you got fired and you had
Speaker 3: gone on dates with her multiple times, you would just
Speaker 3: be like, she's done since he's dead to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know that she'd be dead to me.
Speaker 1: I would need I might need some time though, and
Speaker 1: I might need another opportunity to excite me before I
Speaker 1: could maybe resume something.
Speaker 3: Would you be able to communicate that time?
Speaker 1: Perhaps?
Speaker 4: I think you move on? You don't. I am the
Speaker 4: door and lock it, but you shut the door, you
Speaker 4: move on. If he wants to open the door back
Speaker 4: up and come back into your life, then you can reassess.
Speaker 4: But I feel like you have to.
Speaker 1: That's always good advice to lock it, focus on you.
Speaker 4: And doors need to be locked.
Speaker 1: Well, that's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some doors do need to be locked, but this
Speaker 3: door does not need to be locked. I just don't
Speaker 3: think you wait for him. If he comes back and
Speaker 3: you're still single and still interested, and he's like, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I was going through a hard time. I
Speaker 3: would love to see you again, he needs to take care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he needs to take accountability for the ghost.
Speaker 3: He does need to take accountability for the.
Speaker 4: G and if he doesn't lock it, lock it and
Speaker 4: close the windows.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anonymous Hello, team, I'm a sneaky Day one listener because
Speaker 1: I'm not part of the online scrubbing in community. I
Speaker 1: my own throughout your podcast journey, starting as a fan
Speaker 1: of Bachelor Becca and then fell love with Time Easton
Speaker 1: and Mark along the way. My question has to do
Speaker 1: with friendship and motherhood dynamics. One of my best friends
Speaker 1: and I had babies a few months apart. Yay Handfully
Speaker 1: years later, I'm realizing our parents styles parenting styles could
Speaker 1: not be more different and could challenge our friendship. For example,
Speaker 1: my friend is adamant about being the house that allows
Speaker 1: everything alcohol, co ed, sleep over, etc. In future teen
Speaker 1: years to keep her kids safe. You know those moms like, oh,
Speaker 1: they can drink at my house, lungs under my roof.
Speaker 1: My husband and I are adamantly against that approach and
Speaker 1: have even said that our kid will not be allowed
Speaker 1: to go to a friend's house that has that policy.
Speaker 1: There's also conflicting opinions on screen time. Weren't at home
Speaker 1: only family with limitations. She allows screens and restaurants and
Speaker 1: on car rides and all the time. I get frustrated
Speaker 1: every time we go onto co mombing adventure and I
Speaker 1: gently express my perspective, and she's warm but dismissive with
Speaker 1: and I'm just surviving tone. How do I keep building
Speaker 1: or maintaining my friendship if we continue to have such
Speaker 1: opposing values and approaches to such an incredibly important thing.
Speaker 3: If I have kids, that.
Speaker 4: Will be me, I don't think so though, Like I obviously, yes,
Speaker 4: I'm very rigid and I have I'm sure I'm going
Speaker 4: to have like some crazy things, but I also feel
Speaker 4: like there's only so much you can control, do you
Speaker 4: know what I mean? Like I have babies that are
Speaker 4: in my life, like cousins that have had babies in
Speaker 4: my you know what I mean, Like people who don't
Speaker 4: want their kids to have any sort of sugar or
Speaker 4: dyes or whatever, but when they're around their aunt or
Speaker 4: their grandma that, you know, they freak out. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I just feel like you have to just you can't
Speaker 4: have full hundred percent controls. I think I have that
Speaker 4: perspective of like, I'm going to have certain rules, but
Speaker 4: I can't control my child one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 4: So I don't think I'm going to be as like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. How have you had to navigate?
Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh so much. I mean, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: real challenge. Like we had these rules too about houses
Speaker 1: with no coed sleepovers. We don't want how the alcohol,
Speaker 1: and we don't want them in houses that we knew
Speaker 1: had guns in the house yea, from even little kid playdates.
Speaker 1: So that was an issue because they'd have a really
Speaker 1: good friends like, no, you're not going to their house.
Speaker 1: We're sorry, So that's an issue. Plus, currently, my sister
Speaker 1: is very very strict about cell phones. They don't have them.
Speaker 1: Her kids are much younger than my kids are, and
Speaker 1: so that's a conflict in itself because I have teenagers,
Speaker 1: so obviously they're on their phones quite a bit. Well,
Speaker 1: they can't be when they're around their cousins because they're
Speaker 1: not allowed to see them at all period. So that's
Speaker 1: challenging in itself, and we used to be more strict
Speaker 1: about it. But here's where the turning point happens, when
Speaker 1: they become the one left out socially because our kids
Speaker 1: were We let them do Instagram, but we said no Snapchat.
Speaker 1: And then one time Ali goes to school for a
Speaker 1: theater event that they're all handing out posters. I forget
Speaker 1: what they were doing. But everyone's in their their theater
Speaker 1: production T shirt and Ali wasn't. She was like, do
Speaker 1: you guys, where was this memo? I didn't know that
Speaker 1: we were all around the T shirts and they said, oh,
Speaker 1: we were on Snapchat. So I comes home and says, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: thanks a lot. I was the only one because I
Speaker 1: only get to have Snapchat. We're like, fine, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have Snapchat because you don't want them left out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't want them to become a social pariah because
Speaker 1: they're the only ones not on it. Is that the
Speaker 1: best way to parent? I don't know, but that's kind
Speaker 1: of where we had to give in on some things. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a really challenging thing. And it's could it
Speaker 1: be an issue with not just your friend here, but
Speaker 1: with lots of different moms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'm a part of me is like,
Speaker 3: is it you know, when you're at each other's house,
Speaker 3: it's you. You go by the rules of that house,
Speaker 3: you know, like you respect the rules of that house.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: She was saying that it's like that it's this one
Speaker 4: friend in particular, because they do these things like they
Speaker 4: do these mom co momming adventures, but they have different rules,
Speaker 4: so it's like hard for her to maintain the friendship.
Speaker 3: I know, But I'm saying, if it's if it's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're at my house for this adventure, this house for
Speaker 3: this adventure, like at least in the homes, and then
Speaker 3: my thing is like just if you're teaching. And I
Speaker 3: also feel like she's worried about future problems more so
Speaker 3: the like current like she's worried about I think you're
Speaker 3: and I get it because you're already going like how
Speaker 3: are we going to navigate this? But also I think
Speaker 3: if you're in the time now where they're just still
Speaker 3: little kids, like you have control over what they do
Speaker 3: and what they're looking at and what they see, And
Speaker 3: if if you don't want them to go over to
Speaker 3: her house without you there to supervise, then don't let them, right,
Speaker 3: you know. And if if maybe maintaining the friendship is
Speaker 3: y'all having more one on one time and the kids
Speaker 3: not being involved.
Speaker 4: Yes, more one on one time, no kids involved.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also talking like where can we have a compromise,
Speaker 3: because like, I know that you have your way and
Speaker 3: I have my way, and they're very opposite. But I
Speaker 3: want our kids to grow up together like we have
Speaker 3: a friendship. But maybe right now, when they're young and impressionable,
Speaker 3: you have your friendship without the kids around.
Speaker 1: As much as good advice because if these the kids
Speaker 1: may drift apart one day, and if you do, you're
Speaker 1: also going to drift apart with your friend. That is
Speaker 1: how it goes. It's happened with so many different families
Speaker 1: throughout my kids' lives. The kids drift apart, you drift apart.
Speaker 1: So focus on the moment, focus on the now, don't
Speaker 1: worry about the future. Good and you can always be
Speaker 1: friends without your kids. Yeah, we have a couple of
Speaker 1: fun ones. Well, Fok's out with Ali here. She need
Speaker 1: to help with merch, Dear Banya, I need some creative
Speaker 1: advice from you gals. I'm such a merch girly and
Speaker 1: what you guys did for Tanya your wedding and Becca
Speaker 1: your sister's thirtieth was beyond and wanted to redo my
Speaker 1: wedding just so I could have merch, which brings me
Speaker 1: to a question. I'm planning a big surprise birthday party
Speaker 1: weekend for my mom. It's a big birthday, but the
Speaker 1: theme is twenty first birthday because she had kids at
Speaker 1: a super young age and people of that generation never
Speaker 1: really got to have goofy fun the way a Delts
Speaker 1: do now with their twenty first and Bachelorett parties. So merch,
Speaker 1: what should I do that chic and a fun keepsake
Speaker 1: for the weekend. It's my siblings, our partners in her,
Speaker 1: but there are eleven of us split in half co ed,
Speaker 1: so it's a big group, but we're just our VP.
Speaker 1: If that helps, I feel like there's something fun in there.
Speaker 1: Spa day, nice dinner, party, bus karaoke to a wan nearby,
Speaker 1: and finishing off the weekend with tattoos. Wow. Wow, that's
Speaker 1: a weekend. Yeah, makes an advance, says the merch Gurly Alley.
Speaker 4: I have the perfect idea well flasks for everybody.
Speaker 3: That's fun.
Speaker 4: VPS two VP two one, VP two one. It's like
Speaker 4: D three D twenty three. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: No letter numbers together. Yeah, he ultimate Disney fan of it.
Speaker 4: Yes, the ultimate Disney fan of DT twenty three. She's
Speaker 4: VP twenty one. So it's like a playoff of like that.
Speaker 3: What if we did V I and like the I
Speaker 3: was in parentheses v IP and the I stood for something,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, So it looks like V
Speaker 3: with like an ie in parentheses and then P.
Speaker 4: Maybe the I is a twenty one v twenty one.
Speaker 1: It could be like a Martini glass movie.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, that's cute, like a V a Martini glass. P.
Speaker 1: She's a VP, she's also a VIP. Yeah, and we're
Speaker 1: getting let this weekend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or you can do well. I guess you're all
Speaker 4: of age. Never mind. I made fake IDs for Sunny's
Speaker 4: twenty first which was really cute.
Speaker 3: Fake really yeah, yeah, she did.
Speaker 1: It was awesome.
Speaker 4: Everybody had to have a ID to get into the
Speaker 4: door everything.
Speaker 3: That's funny. Yeah, it would be funny if you made
Speaker 3: IDs for everybody and it was like like could they.
Speaker 4: Might be VP's security VP's.
Speaker 3: But they all had funny like little things about them,
Speaker 3: so like little funny that what he tells about them.
Speaker 1: And they were all born in uh twenty two thousand
Speaker 1: and four.
Speaker 3: Yes, so that's what I was gonna say. It could
Speaker 3: be funny if you like, because we I did Kind's World,
Speaker 3: and I did since nineteen ninety five because that's when
Speaker 3: she was born. But if you did since and put
Speaker 3: her actual birth here and did like a line through
Speaker 3: it and then put two thousand and four.
Speaker 5: Yeah, these are great, great flasks, and it could be
Speaker 5: it could be really And I also think you could
Speaker 5: go to You can either go to like a merch designer.
Speaker 3: I think it's more expensive like the one we went to.
Speaker 3: They do like merch for big companies.
Speaker 4: Do a ton of this stuff on Amazon, like I've
Speaker 4: made like hats on Amazon.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say Amazon or Etsy, you can find Etsy, doesn't.
Speaker 4: What you know how I feel about Etsy.
Speaker 3: No, I know it's tough. It's really not. They make
Speaker 3: it very easy. You just find someone with really good reviews,
Speaker 3: with good reviews.
Speaker 4: The baby baby microscopic confession, the sizing baby, little soap
Speaker 4: dishes sent to me.
Speaker 3: But also I was thinking, since you're getting tattoos, how
Speaker 3: cute would it be if you did like little this
Speaker 3: might be too advanced, but like little sketches that went
Speaker 3: all over the merch, so like little tattoos of like
Speaker 3: you know, like what you got, yeah, twenty one all
Speaker 3: the things.
Speaker 4: Anyways, I'm trying to think what other little twenty first
Speaker 4: things we did on Sunny's birthday.
Speaker 3: I liked your totes too. That was a nice addition.
Speaker 3: If she don't want to do like clothing, the pats
Speaker 3: and the tots.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was a big hit. People love a tote.
Speaker 4: Everyone loves a tote. He doesn't love a tote.
Speaker 3: My sister and everyone wore all of the merged that
Speaker 3: we got. My Oh, the other thing that we did,
Speaker 3: my sister did the embroidery. She did just bought button
Speaker 3: downs from the airy or something and embroidery something cute.
Speaker 3: So you could find someone to do that. Maybe my
Speaker 3: sister reach out to keep walking. There you go. But yeah,
Speaker 3: that's so fun. Merch is fun. It's fun to have
Speaker 3: a memento from an occasion. But good luck, I'll be thinking,
Speaker 3: I'll be thinking on this. I love coming up with
Speaker 3: ideas like that.
Speaker 4: I'd be thinking too.
Speaker 3: You should have Robbie and he's really good at merching.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, we're gonna take a break and then we're
Speaker 3: going to come back. Because there's a controversy on which
Speaker 3: Gray's character I was from an earlier episode of Scrubbing
Speaker 3: in we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Right, we are back, Kaylee says, Hey, Mark back at
Speaker 1: Tanya and Easton last. I've waited forever to have something
Speaker 1: worth writing about to hear you read that greeting. Thank you, Kaylee.
Speaker 1: I'm a day one listener. I've loved listening from the
Speaker 1: very beginning. I look forward to the podcast every week.
Speaker 1: I have two biological daughters and a step daughter, and
Speaker 1: I saved the podcast from my me time, even if
Speaker 1: it's doing dishes alone with my headphones in. I feel
Speaker 1: like you guys are some of my best friends, says
Speaker 1: I know so much about your lives and I have
Speaker 1: listened to you a lot live it over the years.
Speaker 1: I recently started the podcast from the beginning, and in
Speaker 1: the first episode, where Tanya makes your debut, she and
Speaker 1: Becka discuss a sweatshirt Becca gave to Tanya. It says,
Speaker 1: Meredith Gray is my spirit animal. Do you still have that?
Speaker 4: I think so yeah.
Speaker 1: Then they go on to discuss how Becca is so
Speaker 1: much like Meredith. I thought it was so funny since
Speaker 1: in the most recent episode, you guys played the game
Speaker 1: of naming who each person was most like, and Becca
Speaker 1: gave her a buttle that she was not like Meredith.
Speaker 1: It's so funny how things have changed over the years.
Speaker 1: Please never stop podcasting. What you guys think is mundane
Speaker 1: and boring is the highlight of so many people's week.
Speaker 1: The best episodes of the four of you just talking
Speaker 1: like family. I've enjoyed so much learning about all four
Speaker 1: of your lives, love you so much and always cheering
Speaker 1: you all on ps. My dad has been absent nearly
Speaker 1: my whole life, and listening to Mark talk and give
Speaker 1: advice feels like listening to the data I never had. Wow, Oka,
Speaker 1: that is really sweet, Cayley, Wow.
Speaker 3: I think that I think that at that time, I
Speaker 3: was like Meredith, I'm very just not to me in relationship. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I did resonate a lot more with Meredith
Speaker 3: than than I do. Know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't feel like you're It's interesting. I never
Speaker 4: felt like you were Meredith Gray in general, because you
Speaker 4: are not a cold person. But I feel like in
Speaker 4: your love life you were very cold. You were like
Speaker 4: shut off.
Speaker 3: Yes now we know why.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there was a point where I was like,
Speaker 4: maybe Becca doesn't have that chip in her.
Speaker 3: I wonder if Robert thought of me as being shut
Speaker 3: off for sure, or if he just was like, she's chill,
Speaker 3: no chances chill.
Speaker 4: Maybe we should have him on the podcast to discuss
Speaker 4: that could be a golden globe.
Speaker 1: Have never had him on before?
Speaker 5: Never?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah, it's time I'm with you. I thought
Speaker 1: we did this, but was it this?
Speaker 6: We called him at one point he was like the
Speaker 6: call he was there's a busy coffee shop.
Speaker 1: Understand.
Speaker 4: Maybe was I on the podcast?
Speaker 6: I don't even know if it was this podcast on
Speaker 6: I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: We do so many a lot.
Speaker 4: I think Becca is the opposite of cold. Let me
Speaker 4: tell you. If there's something that Becca Tilly is, she
Speaker 4: is that warm cup of coffee that you just need
Speaker 4: every day. I felt that recently.
Speaker 3: Oh really, that's touching.
Speaker 4: I'm serious.
Speaker 3: Why.
Speaker 4: I just feel like you've really been there for me.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love you so much. I told
Speaker 3: you it was like, what kind of friend would I
Speaker 3: be if I wasn't? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's time we wrap it up. Here
Speaker 4: is very cute.
Speaker 1: It's from Jazz. I've been loving the recent pattern of
Speaker 1: ending each Deer Bonnie with a fun light how to
Speaker 1: question or game. So, building on last week's theme of
Speaker 1: how do you know you found your person I have
Speaker 1: a question for each of you, one physical trait and
Speaker 1: one personality trait your partner has that if they didn't have,
Speaker 1: might have made you second guess whether they were the one.
Speaker 1: Thanks for the weekly laughs. And I have to say
Speaker 1: I am a die hard fan of the scrub a
Speaker 1: dub dub and the tub tub tub jingle in the house.
Speaker 4: I know mine his hands they're hotter now than ever,
Speaker 4: and if.
Speaker 1: They were, like, I'm not sure he's the one for sure.
Speaker 3: Really, if Robbie didn't have the hands that he.
Speaker 4: Had, I mean, it's hard to say, you know, it's
Speaker 4: hard to I don't know those hands did it for
Speaker 4: me day one.
Speaker 3: I don't remember you talking about them day one. I
Speaker 3: felt I feel like, I mean early on, for sure.
Speaker 4: Those hands, they're gorgeous.
Speaker 3: He has very nice hands.
Speaker 4: He does does and like it's weird because they're masculine
Speaker 4: but spemer groomed and like the perfect ratio like nail
Speaker 4: to skin and my nice color, perfect amount of hair.
Speaker 4: And personality wise, I think his empathy, he's like one
Speaker 4: of the most empathetic. I feel like he can put
Speaker 4: himself in other people's shoes more than anybody that I've
Speaker 4: ever met. That those my answers.
Speaker 3: Mine would be physical trait. Her nose I love her nose.
Speaker 4: I would say her lips, oh dang her, but her
Speaker 4: whole face.
Speaker 3: Really, she looks like a doll. She always looks perfectly.
Speaker 3: She wakes up just like like looking glowing. I'm like,
Speaker 3: why do you always look like you're like glowing? So annoying?
Speaker 4: See me when I wake up?
Speaker 3: Me too, I'm like mouth tape, hair.
Speaker 4: Drool coming off the side.
Speaker 3: Personality trait probably her communication because I I think that
Speaker 3: it made me feel safe to fall in love with her,
Speaker 3: her communicating skills, because I'm not I wasn't necessarily a
Speaker 3: good communicator.
Speaker 4: Beautiful still working on it.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: I know what he's gonna say.
Speaker 2: Physical trait, Oh yeah, what ass it is?
Speaker 6: Really actually weird. I'm gonna have to go with breast.
Speaker 1: That sweet booty out the door. Yeah no, I mean.
Speaker 6: Is an angel in every every sense, and I love
Speaker 6: her smile so much. And then a personality trait, God,
Speaker 6: there's so many. I think something maybe second guess is
Speaker 6: uh like finding humor in the same things Like that
Speaker 6: was something that Allison and I bonded over very early.
Speaker 6: Was like finding the same things very funny and and weird,
Speaker 6: and I have not had that with many other people.
Speaker 1: I've got I've got many dates.
Speaker 6: Right, I thought something was very, very funny, and the
Speaker 6: other person did not.
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is the hard one, but I
Speaker 1: will say this. I don't like feet. And when I
Speaker 1: look at almost everyone's feet, I'm grossed out by nearly
Speaker 1: everyone's feet I ever see. But my wife has great feet,
Speaker 1: and if she had gross feet, I don't know that
Speaker 1: I could be married with grossed feet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I see gross feet all the time anyway. Uh,
Speaker 1: and my kids know this that her laugh is my
Speaker 1: favorite sound in the world. So that was a big
Speaker 1: one for me. It was that when that laugh gets going, man,
Speaker 1: all right with the world?
Speaker 3: Is that her personality?
Speaker 1: I guess that'd be her personality trait. Yeah, that's not
Speaker 1: a physical trait.
Speaker 3: They're sweet.
Speaker 1: Oh, the physical trait is weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess, like, well, I'm talking about another woman,
Speaker 3: so it's different. And then Tony's talking about a man,
Speaker 3: but like a different talking about physical traits.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it feels right also to boil them down to
Speaker 6: one physical trait weird.
Speaker 3: You have to walk a tight little line. Tight line.
Speaker 3: Speaking of Alison on our the topic of controversial opinion,
Speaker 3: she she messaged Meldly with like just like she was certain,
Speaker 3: Oh god, I think Friends is overrated.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that is controversial opinion.
Speaker 4: That's like the most horrific thing I've heard in my life.
Speaker 3: I responded just like gas literally gasped. But a lot
Speaker 3: of people actually sent me that. It was like like
Speaker 3: they were trying to hurt my feelings.
Speaker 4: Yeah, probably are trying the worst. There's like a there's
Speaker 4: like a thing that you can google on YouTube or
Speaker 4: search on YouTube whatever you call it, like laughable moments
Speaker 4: from Friends, and they just like compile all like the
Speaker 4: funniest like one liners from all all the Friends episodes,
Speaker 4: like forty five to fifty minutes of just like straight
Speaker 4: funny one liners. It has you laughing for an hour hours. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's so good.
Speaker 3: It's so good but fun fact, I'm assuming gall Are
Speaker 3: Seinfeld people were signfel. Yeah, yeah, there's a difference. It is.
Speaker 3: It's different strokes, different folks, different folks. And on that note,
Speaker 3: we're saying goodbye, but it will be to be continued
Speaker 3: next week on Monday. That's right.
Speaker 1: Doctor Joe Wilson said, Yeah, we are we tweak over here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't worry.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we love you, love you,