Speaker 1: I felt like social media put this unnecessary stress and
Speaker 1: pressure on me, so I took a break and it
Speaker 1: helped so much. Sadly, now, more than ever, you guys,
Speaker 1: the more skin you show, the more likes and views
Speaker 1: you get. Then you share something positive and it doesn't
Speaker 1: get as many views and as many likes. If you
Speaker 1: feel anxiety, or you feel anything any type of negative
Speaker 1: way when you go on social media, just know of
Speaker 1: the things that you see on Instagram are not real.
Speaker 1: What Up? What Up? Happy Monday? Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening into this episode of chick Ease and Chill.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Cheeks, and today We're going to be
Speaker 1: talking about something we all use just about every day,
Speaker 1: social media. We spend hours and hours online and sometimes
Speaker 1: we need a break. So today I'm going to be
Speaker 1: talking about how and when I do that. So stay
Speaker 1: to own. This is cheek Ease and Chill. Whether you're
Speaker 1: on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok, these platforms consume so
Speaker 1: much of your day, and I think now more than ever,
Speaker 1: you guys, I have been a victim of it, especially TikTok.
Speaker 1: TikTok takes a long long time. It takes a lot
Speaker 1: of energy, a lot of mental space, and obviously during
Speaker 1: the pandemic, like a lot of people, I was doing
Speaker 1: a lot of TikTok because I had a lot of
Speaker 1: time and I had a lot of fun doing it.
Speaker 1: And I love going on TikTok, especially when I want
Speaker 1: to laugh and I want to like look up the
Speaker 1: recipe and everything. But I've kind of stayed away from
Speaker 1: TikTok for a little bit. I haven't posted a lot
Speaker 1: because I'm busy with other things. I had to finish
Speaker 1: my album and the tour and everything. So talking about
Speaker 1: breaks in, I took a big break. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It must have been like almost three months. It was
Speaker 1: right before my second album and what has dropped. I
Speaker 1: was going through a lot, a lot of changes. I
Speaker 1: had just moved into my new home. UM, I was
Speaker 1: on tour a lot during that time, and I just
Speaker 1: felt like I was drinking too much, like drinking alcohol
Speaker 1: to like numb myself what it is that I was spelling.
Speaker 1: I was missing my mom. It was just a lot,
Speaker 1: and I felt like social media put this unnecessary stress
Speaker 1: and pressure on me. So I took a break and
Speaker 1: it helped so much. I was able to just focus
Speaker 1: and zone in on finishing my album, on cleansing myself,
Speaker 1: not drinking, focusing on my house because I had just
Speaker 1: bought the house and I wanted to make changes and
Speaker 1: I wanted to furnish it. So it just really helped me.
Speaker 1: During that time is when Omi and I had our
Speaker 1: you know, break as well, and I had lost a
Speaker 1: few friends during that time, so I just really needed
Speaker 1: the time to do it. And I felt like social media,
Speaker 1: which is kind of sometimes bring me sadness. And I've
Speaker 1: spoken to a few people and there are studies that
Speaker 1: say that social media can bring you anxiety and depression
Speaker 1: because you're scrolling and you're looking at these people's lives.
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of them, a lot of influencers.
Speaker 1: They get paid to go on vacation to post certain
Speaker 1: clothing and certain bags, and they rent a lot of
Speaker 1: these things, and a lot of these cars and homes
Speaker 1: and yachts that you see on social media. They're all
Speaker 1: a facade. Not all, most of them are a facade.
Speaker 1: And it's just a bunch of people. And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying everyone, but there's a good chunk of people that
Speaker 1: just pretend to have these lavish lives and us the
Speaker 1: people that are watching sometimes and even like perfect relationships.
Speaker 1: And I want to say that I was probably one
Speaker 1: of those people that I posted my relationship so much before,
Speaker 1: and I knew what I was going through and what
Speaker 1: I was feeling, but I felt like, well, I have
Speaker 1: to share this because this is my partner, this is
Speaker 1: my husband, and I have to share this part of
Speaker 1: my life. And people are like, oh, I want that.
Speaker 1: I want what they have, you know, and it creates
Speaker 1: like subconsciously like anxiety, and they're just like, why don't
Speaker 1: I have what they have? Why does that person look
Speaker 1: like that? Why don't I look like that person? And
Speaker 1: I wish I had that car, and I want that
Speaker 1: house and I want to dress like her, And it's
Speaker 1: just constantly in the back of your mind, like you
Speaker 1: just start thinking all these things. So that's why I
Speaker 1: from time to time internally and in my life and
Speaker 1: my personal life, I take breaks. Sometimes I take just
Speaker 1: the weekend and I won't post anything. The people that
Speaker 1: follow me know that, you guys know that I will
Speaker 1: tell you guys, Hey, I wasn't feeling good. I needed
Speaker 1: to stay away. I needed to regroup. I needed tomente,
Speaker 1: you know, which means just really just be with myself.
Speaker 1: I love social media because I get to express and
Speaker 1: share things with you guys on a different level. And
Speaker 1: I have that direct contact with my followers. And I
Speaker 1: love speaking to you guys, and I have my dams open,
Speaker 1: and you know what I mean, Like, I love hearing
Speaker 1: from you guys. But sometimes it could be a very
Speaker 1: toxic place, you guys, social media could be toxic. It
Speaker 1: all depends on what you follow, who you follow. For me,
Speaker 1: I follow about three thousand nineteen people I just checked.
Speaker 1: Some people think that that's too much. I should like
Speaker 1: follow less, but I follow a lot of my boss piece,
Speaker 1: a lot of people that send me love, and a
Speaker 1: lot of my fan pages. So I'm super grateful for
Speaker 1: that that. I think that's the majority of people that
Speaker 1: I follow. I also follow a lot of accounts of
Speaker 1: positive quotes. I love quotes, you guys know. I like
Speaker 1: to write them, I like to read them, I like
Speaker 1: to share them. I follow business pages, entrepreneur pages, like
Speaker 1: a lot of women quotes. I follow some preachers. For me,
Speaker 1: it's like, that's why it's important that people that you follow,
Speaker 1: that they feed your soul, that they feed you something good.
Speaker 1: There are some people that I follow that I don't
Speaker 1: follow because they've never done anything bad to me, but
Speaker 1: I mute them. I'm not gonna lie. There are some
Speaker 1: people that are mute because sometimes it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: girl or boy, I just can't you know, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to follow you because you haven't done anything
Speaker 1: mean to me. Like it's not that I don't like you,
Speaker 1: it's just sometimes your energy is just too much for me,
Speaker 1: so I mute them. That's good to you, guys. A
Speaker 1: muting and muting and sometimes blocking. I block a lot
Speaker 1: of like haters because I'm like, you're not gonna come
Speaker 1: and try to like contaminate my space with your negativity,
Speaker 1: so I'll block those motherfucker's And yeah, I unfollow people
Speaker 1: if I need to, like for sure, when I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really don't care and I need you to know
Speaker 1: that you're not on my Good Girl list of this
Speaker 1: year her good boy list, and I'll unfollow just to
Speaker 1: let it be known. I think it is important. I
Speaker 1: think it's definitely important to be mindful of the accounts
Speaker 1: that we follow, and that's why I do my best.
Speaker 1: I'm a little crazy sometimes on Instagram. You guys like, yes,
Speaker 1: I show my booty here and there. Yes I'm sexy,
Speaker 1: but I do it more like on that Lizzo trip,
Speaker 1: because Lizzo is so empowering. She is a plus size
Speaker 1: woman who does not care, and for me, that's inspirational.
Speaker 1: I follow her and test holiday because I'm like, they're beautiful,
Speaker 1: big women and they make me feel sexy. And that's
Speaker 1: why I share that part, not to be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm trying to show my ass. But you
Speaker 1: know what, sadly, I've noticed now more than ever, you guys,
Speaker 1: the more skin you show, the more ass you show,
Speaker 1: the more tips you show, the more fucking likes and
Speaker 1: views you get. Then you share something positive like a
Speaker 1: quote or I don't know, you go and like feed
Speaker 1: the homeless. There's something positive, something good, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: get as many views and as many likes, And you
Speaker 1: know what, let's not focus on that anymore, because first
Speaker 1: of all, the algorithm is all crazy. But people just
Speaker 1: aren't liking anymore. And that's okay, Like, don't focus on
Speaker 1: the numbers, on the amount of likes that you get.
Speaker 1: Are the views, but the truth is the truth, you know,
Speaker 1: That's what's happening. And I've noticed that even on my
Speaker 1: own account, I'm like, oh my god, when I post
Speaker 1: this or I'm being you know a little bit like
Speaker 1: you know, wratchet Jenney, I get a lot of likes
Speaker 1: and I get a lot of views, and I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: I just wish that we would get the same amount
Speaker 1: of love on these positive things, you know, were like
Speaker 1: when I'm cooking or something, you know. Getting back to
Speaker 1: taking the break. So when I took my long break
Speaker 1: back in, I deleted Instagram completely. All my social media platforms,
Speaker 1: I deleted them completely from my phone. When I take
Speaker 1: the mini breaks, I have trained my mind to really
Speaker 1: challenge myself because for a long time, I was getting
Speaker 1: to the point where I was just bored or I
Speaker 1: wasn't even thinking, and my finger would go directly to
Speaker 1: Instagram because for me, that's staff that I use the most.
Speaker 1: I used to use Twitter a lot, like a lot
Speaker 1: back in, and I still love Twitter, but the one
Speaker 1: that I used the most is Instagram. And I was
Speaker 1: finding myself just like out of nowhere going to my
Speaker 1: Instagram and I was like, I just got out of
Speaker 1: the app and I just started scrolling and I'm just
Speaker 1: like why am I doing this? It just became like
Speaker 1: this crazy ass vicious cycle and habit that I just
Speaker 1: started telling myself, like mentally challenging myself and be like,
Speaker 1: don't go like I had to remind myself over and
Speaker 1: over and now to the point where I don't spend
Speaker 1: a lot of screen time because I like to just
Speaker 1: post and get out. I'll go in real quick on
Speaker 1: the post that I just posted, and like comming back
Speaker 1: to people. I love to do that, and then I
Speaker 1: just get out because I try not to get myself
Speaker 1: too involved in looking at what's going on unless I'm
Speaker 1: like really not busy, and I'll take a little bit
Speaker 1: of time. But I try my best not to be
Speaker 1: on social media unnecessarily because I don't want to lose
Speaker 1: that love and that passion and what social media is
Speaker 1: really for, it's to share and for me, I feel
Speaker 1: like my responsibility is to be a positive force in
Speaker 1: the world and share quotes and share things and share
Speaker 1: my thoughts and share the real side of me. So
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose that, because for a while
Speaker 1: I did, I was just like it became just more
Speaker 1: of a I have to do it versus something that
Speaker 1: gave me pleasure. So now if I do want to
Speaker 1: take a little break, I'll just move my app into
Speaker 1: like one of those like the group apps where you
Speaker 1: put like a bunch of them in there, and then
Speaker 1: it's harder for me to get too. So I'll sometimes
Speaker 1: do that, like if I'm on vacation, or when the
Speaker 1: media and I went to Yosemite, I put my phone
Speaker 1: completely away, and I was like, I'm just gonna put
Speaker 1: it away because I don't even want my little fingers,
Speaker 1: because they have a mind of their own, to go
Speaker 1: to these apps and start looking, and you know, sometimes
Speaker 1: I could be in a great mood and then I
Speaker 1: see something negative that someone who said, you know, about me.
Speaker 1: I just recently stopped following a lot of these accounts,
Speaker 1: like you know, the cheese myt pages or like even
Speaker 1: big shows that are on television that have Instagrams, I
Speaker 1: stopped following them because sometimes I would come across things
Speaker 1: that they would say about me, and it would sometimes
Speaker 1: just put me in a weird mood, you know. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not trying to be me and
Speaker 1: I'm grateful, you know, with these people, because the media
Speaker 1: does help your career, but it can also affect it.
Speaker 1: So I was just like for my mental health and
Speaker 1: my mind and my spirit, I'm just going to unfollow them.
Speaker 1: So I did that. Anything that I say on my feed,
Speaker 1: I wanted to be something that's either going to make
Speaker 1: me laugh or make me feel good or inspire me.
Speaker 1: And usually when I take my breaks, a lot of
Speaker 1: people ask me if I'm the one that runs my
Speaker 1: social media. You guys know my assistant, Oh me, I
Speaker 1: have management, I have a record label. There are some
Speaker 1: artists that just completely leave their social media to their team.
Speaker 1: I'm not that person. I have my passwords, I like
Speaker 1: to go in there. I like to post is very rare.
Speaker 1: If I have Omi post or even on my Facebook,
Speaker 1: I will have them put management posted it. But usually,
Speaker 1: and I want to say, nine percent of the time,
Speaker 1: it is me, I'm the one responding. And when I'm
Speaker 1: taking my break, I am very real about it. And
Speaker 1: even Omi will sometimes help me with my god mornings
Speaker 1: and she'll ask me, do you want me to post
Speaker 1: something for you haven't posted anything, And I'm like no, Like,
Speaker 1: if I'm taking my break, I'm just like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take my break and I'm gonna be real about it,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not trying to pretend that I'm on social
Speaker 1: media and when I'm not, like, I'm super transparent and
Speaker 1: honest with you guys about that stuff because that's all
Speaker 1: I know how to be. So, yes, the person that's
Speaker 1: responding to you, the person that's commenting the post and
Speaker 1: that's posting is me, you guys, I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: just me. Call it controlling, call it whatever you want.
Speaker 1: But and I think when I took my long break
Speaker 1: in ten, I did have a little bit of fomo.
Speaker 1: I did. I was kind of like, what's going on
Speaker 1: in the world, and you know, my siblings would talk
Speaker 1: about certain things and they would post each other and
Speaker 1: you know, and I kind of feel like left out.
Speaker 1: But I was like, well, this is something that I need.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna respect my body and what my body is
Speaker 1: asking my my mind, and I'm going to take this break.
Speaker 1: I'm going to honor it. But I did have a
Speaker 1: tiny bit of fomo. You know, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: And then when I came back, it was a little hard.
Speaker 1: When I've taken those breaks, it's a little hard, you guys,
Speaker 1: to come back because you're you kind of like you
Speaker 1: get into like a motion of things in a routine
Speaker 1: kind of then you, you know, come back and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, how do I do this again? It's
Speaker 1: kind of like learning how to ride a bike. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of how I felt. And for me, it's
Speaker 1: important because I have my makeup line, I have my
Speaker 1: skincare line, I work like my my work is social media,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of it. Sometimes I got to
Speaker 1: talk to my business partners and be like, you know,
Speaker 1: they respect it, they understand. But it is a real
Speaker 1: tough But I'm telling you, guys, I came across this quote.
Speaker 1: This isn't my motorational quote, by the way, but I
Speaker 1: came across it when I was looking for things. It says,
Speaker 1: when your mental health is bad, give yourself a break.
Speaker 1: Don't make yourself feel guilty for things you can't do.
Speaker 1: Don't feel bad about eating, bad about not doing as
Speaker 1: much as you normally would. You're human. It's okay to struggle.
Speaker 1: Look after yourself and your mind. It's important and I
Speaker 1: think a lot of us are so. And I say
Speaker 1: us because I have also been caught and sometimes I
Speaker 1: find myself being caught in it where it's I'm not
Speaker 1: living in the moment and we're chasing our goals and
Speaker 1: we're chasing tomorrow and the future, and we get stuck
Speaker 1: in the rat race of life that we are not
Speaker 1: living in the moment. If your body and your mind
Speaker 1: is asking you in this moment, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: not feeling good. I feel a lot of anxiety, a
Speaker 1: lot of depression. Try to pinpoint where that's coming from.
Speaker 1: And I will guarantee that a little bit of it
Speaker 1: has to do with us being consumed with our phones
Speaker 1: and social media and see other people's things and not
Speaker 1: being able to separate their life from your own. I
Speaker 1: guarantee you that it has a little bit to do
Speaker 1: with it, if not a lot to do with it.
Speaker 1: So it's important to respect that and your mental health
Speaker 1: and accept it. First of all, accept it, which means
Speaker 1: is okay, I'm feeling this. It's okay to feel this.
Speaker 1: Doesn't make me a weak person. Let me do what
Speaker 1: I gotta do to fix it. Right now, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean to feel better. So I wanted to
Speaker 1: share that with you guys, because I think a lot
Speaker 1: of us just want to pretend, pretend that we're okay.
Speaker 1: And here's another one. I came across this other quote
Speaker 1: that I want to share with you guys as well.
Speaker 1: It says I saw a post that said I wasn't
Speaker 1: myself for months and nobody noticed. I felt that, you guys.
Speaker 1: I also felt that because that's what the quote says.
Speaker 1: But I also felt it because there were a lot
Speaker 1: of times, especially when I was in certain relationships, that
Speaker 1: I was just going through it. I was kind of
Speaker 1: forced to smile because I felt like that's what I
Speaker 1: needed to do, that's what people expected from me. And
Speaker 1: that's when I learned. I was like, no, I have
Speaker 1: to be a PC real like, if I don't feel
Speaker 1: like posting, if I don't feel like sharing something, if
Speaker 1: I if I even feel like sharing, hey guys, i'm
Speaker 1: going through this, I'm going to do that because there's
Speaker 1: nothing more beautiful than being vulnerable and being honest. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of strength in that. So I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of people now more than ever, pretend they're
Speaker 1: living in this like imaginary like world. And that's cool
Speaker 1: if it works for you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But I just don't want to be stuck in that,
Speaker 1: and I want the people. If you feel anxiety, or
Speaker 1: you feel anything any type of negative way when you
Speaker 1: go on social media. Just know that. I mean, I
Speaker 1: swear to you of the things that you see on
Speaker 1: Instagram are not real on social media. Like that's all
Speaker 1: I have to say. Just know that don't feel the
Speaker 1: pressure and that social pressure of looking a certain way
Speaker 1: because of you know, certain people, certain celebrities like, don't
Speaker 1: feel that pressure. Like you have to honor yourself and
Speaker 1: honor who you are and what you bring to this world.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't say that enough because I
Speaker 1: think more than ever now it's happening, and that's why
Speaker 1: there's so much depression, you guys, because of the social
Speaker 1: pressure that we all feel, you know. But anyways, I
Speaker 1: wanted to share those with you guys, and hopefully they
Speaker 1: helped a little bit. I've had friends that instead of
Speaker 1: taking a break, they just delete their social media's completely
Speaker 1: and they just never come back. Emilia is one that
Speaker 1: says like he and that's I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that I like about him. He's not all that
Speaker 1: into social media, Like he rarely goes on there. He
Speaker 1: doesn't post too much, and I like that, you know.
Speaker 1: I feel like he brings balance into my life in
Speaker 1: that aspect, and he's learned to understand because At first,
Speaker 1: it was a little difficult because I was on my
Speaker 1: phone quite a bit because I work on my phone.
Speaker 1: I answer emails, I'm texting, I'm sending voice ones all day,
Speaker 1: and then social media, I have to do posts and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. And at first it was kind of
Speaker 1: like he's something he had to get used to, and
Speaker 1: we talked about it. Now he understands it, and now
Speaker 1: I'm also mindful of like if I'm hanging out with him,
Speaker 1: I'm not on my phone as much, or I do everything.
Speaker 1: I have to do all my work before I hang
Speaker 1: out with him because out of respect. But some of
Speaker 1: our friends have completely deleted social media. I mean, I
Speaker 1: can't do that. I don't know if I would do
Speaker 1: that either, because I feel like even if I wasn't
Speaker 1: an artist, or maybe, to be honest, if I was
Speaker 1: an artist, maybe I wouldn't have social media. Maybe I'd
Speaker 1: be like this hippie lost like in the world somewhere
Speaker 1: and like with the taco shop because I love to
Speaker 1: like cook and I wouldn't have social media, and I
Speaker 1: would just listen to music all day and just chill
Speaker 1: and surf. That's just if I wasn't an artist. But
Speaker 1: since I'm an artist, and I feel like I have
Speaker 1: this platform and God has me here for a reason.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would ever delete my social media
Speaker 1: unless I was absolutely forced to. But I feel like
Speaker 1: that's my mission helping. If it's not with music, it's
Speaker 1: with my skincare, with my books, with my quotes. I
Speaker 1: feel like I have to use my voice and my
Speaker 1: testimony to help inspire and empower people. And I really
Speaker 1: truly feel that. So I don't know if I would
Speaker 1: ever erase my social media. For sure, take breaks because
Speaker 1: I need them. We all need them. But I don't
Speaker 1: know about erasing it. But to each his own dack in,
Speaker 1: you know, I love it because Emilio post like once
Speaker 1: every blue moon, and I don't know, I think it's cool.
Speaker 1: So with that being said, guys, I hope you all
Speaker 1: consider taking breaks from social media and living life in
Speaker 1: real life, not just online. Today's motivational quote is sometimes
Speaker 1: you need to take a break from everyone and spend
Speaker 1: time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself. There's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with breaks, you guys. We all need them to regroup,
Speaker 1: to connect, to center ourselves, to connect with our higher,
Speaker 1: authentic selves. So that's my personal advice to you because
Speaker 1: I've done it and it's helped. So anyways, you guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thank you for listening to this
Speaker 1: week's episode of Cheeks and Chill. One quick thing before
Speaker 1: we go, I want to let you guys know there's
Speaker 1: a brand new way for us to keep in touch.
Speaker 1: You can now leave me a voice memo directly through
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app. Just click the microphone at
Speaker 1: the top of the Cheeks and Chill podcast homepage within
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, and if you don't already
Speaker 1: have the app, you can download it for free. Your
Speaker 1: questions and comments could be featured in a future episode,
Speaker 1: so feel free to let me know what's on your mind.
Speaker 1: I hope that you guys have a wonderful, fabulous week.
Speaker 1: I will see you next week Monday. Here Chickens and
Speaker 1: Chills AMO. This is a production of I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and mil podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Speaker 1: Podcasts and follow me Cheeky That's c h i q
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