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Speaker 1: I felt like social media put this unnecessary stress and

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Speaker 1: pressure on me, so I took a break and it

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Speaker 1: helped so much. Sadly, now, more than ever, you guys,

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Speaker 1: the more skin you show, the more likes and views

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Speaker 1: you get. Then you share something positive and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: get as many us and as many likes. If you

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Speaker 1: feel anxiety, or you feel anything any type of negative

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Speaker 1: way when you go on social media, just know seventy

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Speaker 1: five percent of the things that you see on Instagram

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Speaker 1: are not real.

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Speaker 2: What Up?

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Speaker 1: What Up?

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Speaker 2: Happy Monday?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening in to this episode

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Speaker 1: of Cheeky's and Chill. I'm your host Cheeky's, and today

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Speaker 1: We're going to be talking about something we all use

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Speaker 1: just about every day, social media. We spend hours and

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Speaker 1: hours online and sometimes.

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Speaker 2: We need a break.

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Speaker 1: So today I'm going to be talking about how and

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Speaker 1: when I do that. So stay t This is Cheeky's

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Speaker 1: and Chill. Whether you're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok,

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Speaker 1: these platforms consume so much of your day, and I

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Speaker 1: think now more than ever, you guys, I have been

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Speaker 1: a victim of it, especially TikTok. TikTok takes a long,

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Speaker 1: long time. It takes a lot of energy, a lot

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Speaker 1: of mental space. And obviously during the pandemic, like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people, I was doing a lot of TikTok

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Speaker 1: because I had a lot of time. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of fun doing it, and I love

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Speaker 1: going on TikTok, especially when I want to laugh and

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Speaker 1: I want to look up a recipe and everything.

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Speaker 2: But I've kind of stayed away from TikTok for a

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Speaker 2: little bit.

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Speaker 1: I haven't posted a lot because I'm busy with other things.

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Speaker 1: I had to finish my album and the tour and everything.

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Speaker 1: So talking about breaks, in twenty eighteen, I took a

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Speaker 1: big break. I don't know. It must have been like

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Speaker 1: almost three months. It was right before my second album,

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Speaker 1: in that of What the Yas Dropped. I was going

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Speaker 1: through a lot, a lot of changes. I had just

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Speaker 1: moved into my new home. I was on tour a

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Speaker 1: lot during that time, and I just felt like I

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Speaker 1: was drinking too much, like drinking alcohol to like numb

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Speaker 1: myself what it is that I was feeling.

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Speaker 2: I was missing my mom.

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Speaker 1: It was just a lot, and I felt like social

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Speaker 1: media put this unnecessary stress and pressure on me. So

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Speaker 1: I took a break, and it helped so much. I

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Speaker 1: was able to just focus and zone in on finishing

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Speaker 1: my album, on cleansing myself, not drinking, focusing on my

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Speaker 1: house because I had just bought the house and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to make changes and I wanted to furnish it.

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Speaker 1: So it just really helped me. During that time is

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Speaker 1: when Omi and I had our break as well, and

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Speaker 1: I had lost a few friends during that time, so

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Speaker 1: I just really needed the time to do it. And

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Speaker 1: I felt like social media, which is kind of sometimes

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Speaker 1: bring me sadness. And I've spoken to a few people,

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Speaker 1: and there are studies that say that social media can

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Speaker 1: bring you anxiety and depression because you're scrolling and you're

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Speaker 1: looking at these people's lives. You know, a lot of them,

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Speaker 1: a lot of influencers. They get paid to go on

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Speaker 1: vacation to post certain clothing and certain bags, and they

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Speaker 1: rent a lot of these things, and a lot of

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Speaker 1: these cars and homes and yachts that you see on

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Speaker 1: social media. They're all a facade. Not all, most of

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Speaker 1: them are a facade. And it's just a bunch of people.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying everyone, but there's a good chunk

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Speaker 1: of people that just pretend to have these lavish lives

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Speaker 1: and us the people that are watching sometimes and even

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Speaker 1: like perfect relationships. And I want to say that I

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Speaker 1: was probably one of those people that I posted my

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Speaker 1: relationship so much before, and I knew what I was

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Speaker 1: going through and what I was feeling, but I felt like, well,

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Speaker 1: I have to share this because this is my partner,

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Speaker 1: this is my husband, and I have to share this

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Speaker 1: part of my life. And people are like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: want that. I want what they have, you know, And

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Speaker 1: it creates like subconsciously like anxiety, and they're just like,

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Speaker 1: why don't I have what they have? Why does that

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Speaker 1: person look like that? Why don't I look like that person?

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Speaker 1: And I wish I had that car, and I want

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Speaker 1: that house, and I want a dress like her, And

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Speaker 1: it's just constantly in the back of your mind.

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Speaker 2: Like you just start thinking all these things. So that's

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Speaker 2: why I.

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Speaker 1: From time to time internally and in my life, in

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Speaker 1: my personal life, I take breaks. Sometimes I take just

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Speaker 1: the weekend and I won't post anything. The people that

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Speaker 1: follow me know that, you guys know that I will

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Speaker 1: tell you guys, Hey, I wasn't feeling good. I needed

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Speaker 1: to just stay away. I needed to regroup. I needed

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Speaker 1: to the speharmimente, you know, which means just really just

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Speaker 1: be with myself. I love social media because I get

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Speaker 1: to express and share things with you guys on a

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Speaker 1: different level. And I have that direct contact with my followers.

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Speaker 1: And I love speaking to you guys, and I have

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Speaker 1: my DMS open, and you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 1: I love hearing from you guys. But sometimes it could

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Speaker 1: be a very toxic place, you guys, social media could

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Speaker 1: be toxic. It all depends on what you follow, who

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Speaker 1: you follow. For me, I follow about threeenty nineteen people

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Speaker 1: I just checked.

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Speaker 2: Some people think that that's too much.

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Speaker 1: I should like follow less, But I follow a lot

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Speaker 1: of my boss beies, a lot of people that send

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Speaker 1: me love, and a lot of my fan pages. So

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Speaker 1: I'm super grateful for that. I think that's the majority

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Speaker 1: of people that I follow. I also follow a lot

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Speaker 1: of accounts of positive quotes. I love quotes, you guys know.

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Speaker 1: I like to write them, I like to read them,

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Speaker 1: I like to share them. I follow business pages, entrepreneur pages,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of women quotes. I follow some preachers.

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Speaker 1: For me, it's like, that's why it's important to the

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Speaker 1: people that you follow that they feed your soul, that

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Speaker 1: they feed you something good. There are some people that

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Speaker 1: I follow that I don't unfollow because they've never done

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Speaker 1: anything bad to me, but I mute them.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: There are some people that I'm mute because sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: just like, oh, girl or boy, I just can't you know,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to follow you because you haven't

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Speaker 1: done anything mean to me. Like it's not that I

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Speaker 1: don't like you, it's just sometimes your energy is just

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Speaker 1: too much for me, so I mute them. That's good too,

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Speaker 1: you guys A muting on muting and sometimes blocking. I

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Speaker 1: block a lot of like haters because I'm like, uh,

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna come and try to like contaminate my

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Speaker 1: space with your negativity, So I'll block those motherfuckers. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I unfollow people if I need to, like for sure,

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Speaker 1: when I'm like, I really don't care and I need

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Speaker 1: you to know that you're not on my Good Girl

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Speaker 1: list of this year her Good boy list, and I'll

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Speaker 1: unfollow just to let it be known. I think it

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Speaker 1: is important. I think it's definitely important to be mindful

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Speaker 1: of the accounts that we follow, And that's why I

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Speaker 1: do my best I'm a little crazy sometimes on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: you guys like, yes, I show my booty here and there.

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Speaker 1: Yes I'm sexy, but I do it more like on

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Speaker 1: that Lizzo trip, because Lizzo is so empowering. She is

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Speaker 1: a plus size woman who does not care, and for me,

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Speaker 1: that's inspirational. I follow her and test holiday because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: they're beautiful, big women and they make me feel sexy.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I share that part, not to be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm trying to show my ass. But

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Speaker 1: you know what, sadly, I've noticed now more than ever,

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Speaker 1: you guys, the more skin you show, the more ass

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Speaker 1: you show, the more tits you show, the more fucking

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Speaker 1: likes and views you get. Then you share something positive

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Speaker 1: like a quote or I don't know, you go and

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Speaker 1: like feed the homeless or something positive, something good, and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't get as many views and as many likes,

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Speaker 1: And you know what, let's not focus on that anymore,

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Speaker 1: because first of all, the algorithm is all crazy, but

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Speaker 1: people just aren't liking anymore. And that's okay, Like, don't

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Speaker 1: focus on the numbers on the amount of likes that

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Speaker 1: you get or the views, but the truth is the truth,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's what's happening. And I've noticed that even

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Speaker 1: on my own account, I'm like, oh my god, when

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Speaker 1: I post this or I'm being you know, a little

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Speaker 1: bit like you know, ratchet Jenee, I get a lot

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Speaker 1: of likes and I get a lot of views, and I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, okay, cool.

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Speaker 1: I just wish that we would get the same amount

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Speaker 1: of love on these positive things, you know, or like

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Speaker 1: when I'm cooking or something, you know.

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Speaker 2: Getting back to taking the break.

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Speaker 1: So when I took my long break back in twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I deleted Instagram completely. All my social media platforms, I

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Speaker 1: deleted them completely from my phone. When I take the

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Speaker 1: mini breaks, I have trained my mind to really challenge

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Speaker 1: myself because for a long time, I was getting to

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Speaker 1: the point where I was just bored or I wasn't

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Speaker 1: even thinking, and my finger would go directly to Instagram

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Speaker 1: because for me, that's that that I use the most.

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Speaker 1: I used to use Twitter a lot, like a lot

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Speaker 1: back in twenty ten, and I still love Twitter, but

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Speaker 1: the one that I use the most is Instagram. And

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Speaker 1: I was finding myself just like out of nowhere going

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Speaker 1: to my Instagram, and I was like I just got

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Speaker 1: out of the app and I just started scrolling, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, why am I doing this? Like it

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Speaker 1: just became like this crazy ass vicious cycle and habit

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Speaker 1: that I just started telling myself, like mentally challenging myself

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Speaker 1: and be like, don't go Like I had to remind

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Speaker 1: myself over and over and now to the point where

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Speaker 1: I don't spend a lot of screen time because I

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Speaker 1: like to just post and get out. I'll go in

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Speaker 1: real quick on the post that I just posted and

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Speaker 1: like common back to people. I love to do that,

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Speaker 1: and then I just get out because I try not

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Speaker 1: to get myself too involved in looking at what's going

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Speaker 1: on unless I'm like really not busy, and I'll take

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Speaker 1: a little bit of time. But I try my best

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Speaker 1: not to be on social media unnecessarily because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to lose that love and that passion and what

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Speaker 1: social media is really for, it's to share and for me,

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Speaker 1: I feel like my responsibility is to be a positive

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Speaker 1: force in the world and share quotes and share things

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Speaker 1: and share my thoughts and share the real side of me.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want to lose that because for a

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Speaker 1: while I did. I was just like it became just

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Speaker 1: more of a I have to do it versus something

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Speaker 1: that gave me pleasure. So now if I do want

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Speaker 1: to take a little break, I'll just move my app

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Speaker 1: into like one of those like the group apps where

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Speaker 1: you put like a bunch of them in there, and

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Speaker 1: then it's harder for me to get too So I'll

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Speaker 1: sometimes do that, or like if I'm on vacation, or

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Speaker 1: when a Medio and I went to Yosemite, I put

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Speaker 1: my phone completely away and I was like, I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna put it away because I don't even want my

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Speaker 1: little fingers, because they have a mind of their own,

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Speaker 1: to go to these apps and start looking, and you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I could be in a great mood and then

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Speaker 1: I see something negative that someone has said, you know,

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Speaker 1: about me. I just recently stopped following a lot of

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Speaker 1: these accounts, like you know, the cheese my pages, or

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Speaker 1: like even big shows that are on television that have Instagrams,

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Speaker 1: I stop following them because sometimes I would come across

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Speaker 1: things that they would say about me, and it would

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Speaker 1: sometimes just put me in a weird mood, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm not trying to be mean.

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful you know with these people because the media

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Speaker 1: does help your career, but it can also affect it.

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Speaker 1: So I was just like, for my mental health and

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Speaker 1: my mind and my spirit, I'm just going to unfollow them.

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Speaker 2: So I did that.

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Speaker 1: Anything that I say on my feed, I want it

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Speaker 1: to be something that's either going to make me laugh

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Speaker 1: or make me feel good or inspire me. And usually

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Speaker 1: when I take my breaks, a lot of people ask

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Speaker 1: me if I'm the one that runs my social media.

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Speaker 1: You guys know my assistant, oh me, I have management,

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Speaker 1: I have a record label. There are some artists that

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Speaker 1: just completely leave their social media to their team. I'm

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Speaker 1: not that person. I have my passwords. I like to

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Speaker 1: go in there. I like to post. It's very rare.

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Speaker 1: If I have O me post or even on my Facebook,

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Speaker 1: I will have them put management posted it.

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Speaker 2: But usually, and.

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Speaker 1: I want to say, ninety nine percent of the time,

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Speaker 1: it is me, I'm the one responding. And when I'm

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Speaker 1: taking my break, I am very real about it. And

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Speaker 1: even Omi will sometimes help me with my god mornings

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Speaker 1: and She'll asked me, do you want me to post

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Speaker 1: something for you haven't posted anything, And I'm like no,

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Speaker 1: Like if I'm taking my break, I'm just like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna take my break, and I'm gonna be real about it,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not trying to pretend that I'm on social

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Speaker 1: media when I'm not. Like, I'm super transparent and honest

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Speaker 1: with you guys about that stuff, because that's all I

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Speaker 1: know how to be. So, yes, the person that's responding

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Speaker 1: to you, the person that's commenting the post and that's

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Speaker 1: posting is me, you guys, I don't know, just me.

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Speaker 1: Call it controlling, call it whatever you want. But and

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Speaker 1: I think when I took my long break in twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I did have a little bit of fomo.

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Speaker 2: I did. I was kind of like, what's going on

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Speaker 2: in the world, and you know.

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Speaker 1: My siblings would talk about certain things and they would

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Speaker 1: post each other and you know, and I kind of

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Speaker 1: feel like left out. But I was like, well, this

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Speaker 1: is something that I need. I'm gonna respect my body

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Speaker 1: and what my body is asking my mind, and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna take this break. I'm gonna honor it. But I

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Speaker 1: did have a tiny bit of fomo. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna lie. And then when I came back, it

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Speaker 1: was a little hard. When I've taken those breaks, it's

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Speaker 1: a little hard, you, guys, to come back because you're

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Speaker 1: you kind of like you get into like e motion

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Speaker 1: of things and a routine kind of then you, you know,

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Speaker 1: come back and you're like, oh my god, how do

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Speaker 1: I do this again? It's kind of like learning how

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Speaker 1: to ride a bike. And that's kind of how I felt.

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Speaker 1: And for me, it's important because I have my makeup line,

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Speaker 1: I have my skincare line. I work like. My work

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Speaker 1: is social media, you know a lot of it. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I gotta talk to my business partners and be like,

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Speaker 1: you know, they respect it, they understand.

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Speaker 2: But it is a tough.

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Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, guys, I came across this quote.

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Speaker 1: This isn't my motivational quote, by the way, but I

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Speaker 1: came across it when I was looking for things. It says,

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Speaker 1: when your mental health is bad, give yourself a break.

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Speaker 1: Don't make yourself feel guilty for things you can't do.

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Speaker 1: Don't feel bad about eating, bad about not doing as

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Speaker 1: much as you normally would.

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Speaker 2: You're human.

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Speaker 1: It's okay to struggle. Look after yourself and your mind.

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Speaker 1: It's important and I think a lot of us are so.

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Speaker 1: And I say us because I have also been caught

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I find myself being caught in it where

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Speaker 1: it's I'm not living in the moment, and we're chasing

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Speaker 1: our goals, and we're chasing tomorrow and the future, and

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Speaker 1: we get stuck in the rat race of life that

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Speaker 1: we are not living in the moment. If your body

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Speaker 1: and your mind is asking you in this moment, you

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Speaker 1: know what. I'm not feeling good. I feel a lot

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Speaker 1: of anxiety, a lot of depression. Try to pinpoint where

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Speaker 1: that's coming from, and I will guarantee that a little

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Speaker 1: bit of it has to do with us being consumed

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Speaker 1: with our phones and social media and seeing other people's

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Speaker 1: things and not being able to separate their life from

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Speaker 1: your own. I guarantee you that it has a little

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Speaker 1: bit to do with it, if not a lot to

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Speaker 1: do with it. So it's important to respect that and

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Speaker 1: your mental health and accept it. First of all, accept it,

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Speaker 1: which means is okay, I'm feeling this. It's okay to

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Speaker 1: feel this. Does it make me a weak person? Let

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Speaker 1: me do what I got to do to fix it?

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Speaker 2: Right now?

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean to feel better. So I

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Speaker 1: wanted to share that with you guys, because I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of us just want to pretend, pretend that

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Speaker 1: we're okay. And here's another one. I came across this

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Speaker 1: other quote that I want to share with you guys

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Speaker 1: as well. It says I saw a post that said

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Speaker 1: I wasn't myself for months and nobody noticed. I felt that,

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Speaker 1: you guys. I also felt that because that's what the

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Speaker 1: quote says. But I also felt it because there were

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Speaker 1: a lot of times, especially when I was in certain relationships,

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Speaker 1: that I was just going through it. I was kind

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Speaker 1: of forced to smile because I felt like that's what

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Speaker 1: I needed to do, that's what people expected from me.

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Speaker 2: And that's when I learned that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, I have to be one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent real, Like if I don't feel like posting, if

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like sharing something, if I even feel

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Speaker 1: like sharing, hey guys, I'm going through this, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to do that because there's nothing more beautiful than being

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and being honest. There's a lot of strength in that.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like a lot of people now more

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Speaker 1: than ever, pretend they're living in this like imaginary like world.

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Speaker 1: And that's cool if it works for you, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. But I just don't want to be

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Speaker 1: stuck in that, and I want the people. If you

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Speaker 1: feel anxiety, or you feel anything any type of negative

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Speaker 1: way when you go on social media, just know that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I swear to you seventy five percent of

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Speaker 1: the things that you see on Instagram are not real

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Speaker 1: on social media.

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Speaker 2: Like that's all I have to say.

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Speaker 1: Just know that don't feel the pressure and that social

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Speaker 1: pressure of looking a certain way because of you know,

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Speaker 1: certain people, certain celebrities like, don't feel that pressure. Like

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Speaker 1: you have to honor yourself and honor who you are

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Speaker 1: and what you bring to the world.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I can't say that enough because I think more than

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Speaker 1: ever now it's happening, and that's why there's so much depression,

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Speaker 1: you guys, because the social pressure that we all feel,

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Speaker 1: you know. But anyways, I wanted to share those with

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Speaker 1: you guys, and hopefully they helped a little bit. I've

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Speaker 1: had friends that instead of taking a break, they just

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Speaker 1: delete their social media's completely and they just never come back.

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Speaker 1: Emilio's one that says he and that's I think one

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Speaker 1: of the things that I like about him. He's not

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Speaker 1: all that into social media, Like he rarely goes on there.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't post too much, and I like that, you know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like he brings balance into my life in

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Speaker 1: that aspect, and he's learned to understand because at first

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Speaker 1: it was a little difficult because I was on my

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Speaker 1: phone quite a bit.

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Speaker 2: Because I work on my phone.

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Speaker 1: I answer emails, I'm texting, I'm sending voice ons all day,

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Speaker 1: and then social media, I have to do posts and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that, and at first it was kind of

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Speaker 1: like he's something he had to get used to.

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Speaker 2: We talked about it. Now he understands it.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm also mindful of like if I'm hanging

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Speaker 1: out with him, I'm not on my phone as much,

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Speaker 1: or I do everything. I have to do all my

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Speaker 1: work before I hang out with him because out of respect.

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Speaker 1: But some of our friends have completely deleted social media.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I can't do that. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I would do that either, because I feel like even

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Speaker 1: if I wasn't an artist, or maybe, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: if I was an artist, maybe I wouldn't have social media.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'd be like this hippie lost like in the

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Speaker 1: world somewhere and like with the taco shop, because I

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Speaker 1: love to cook, and I wouldn't have social media. And

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Speaker 1: I would just listen to music all day and just

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Speaker 1: chill and surf. That's just if I was an artist.

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Speaker 1: But since I'm an artist and I feel like I

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Speaker 1: have this platform and God has me here for a reason,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I would ever delete my social media

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Speaker 1: unless I was absolutely forced to. But I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's my mission helping. If it's not with music, it's

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Speaker 1: with my skincare, with my books, with my quotes. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have to use my voice and my

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Speaker 1: testimony to help inspire and empower people. And I really

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Speaker 1: truly feel that. So I don't know if I would

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Speaker 1: ever erase my social media. For sure, take breaks because

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Speaker 1: I need them. We all need them. But I don't

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Speaker 1: know about erasing it. But to each his own.

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Speaker 2: Gotta kin.

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Speaker 1: You know, I love it because a medio post like

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Speaker 1: once every blue moon, and I don't know, I think

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Speaker 1: it's cool. So with that being said, guys, I hope

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Speaker 1: you all consider taking breaks from social media and living

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Speaker 1: life in real life.

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Speaker 2: Not just online.

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Speaker 1: Today's motivational quote is sometimes you need to take a

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Speaker 1: break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate,

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Speaker 1: and love yourself. There's nothing wrong with breaks. You guys,

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Speaker 1: we all need them to regroup, to connect, to center ourselves,

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Speaker 1: to connect with our higher authentic selves. So that's my

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Speaker 1: personal advice to you because I've done it and it's helped.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, you guys, thank you so much, Thank you

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Speaker 1: for listening to this week's episode of Cheeky's and Chill.

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Speaker 1: One quick thing before we go, I want to let

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Speaker 1: you guys know there's a brand new way for us

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Speaker 1: to keep in touch. You can now leave me a

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00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: voice memo directly through the iHeartRadio app. Just click the

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Speaker 1: microphone at the top of the Cheeky's and Chill podcast

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Speaker 1: homepage within the iHeartRadio app, and if you don't already

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00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 1: have the app, you can download it for free. Your

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Speaker 1: questions and comments could be featured in a future episode,

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Speaker 1: so feel free to let me know what's on your mind.

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Speaker 1: I hope that you guys have a wonderful, fabulous week.

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Speaker 1: I will see you next week Monday. Here Cheeks and

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Speaker 1: Chill loros Amo. This is a production of iHeartRadio and

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00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,400
Speaker 1: Mike Wura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Mike

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Speaker 1: Wura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky. That's c h I

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00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 1: q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows.