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Speaker 1: Our confession I can't take back el Arm.

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Speaker 2: Speak text to seven eight five nine two says I

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Speaker 2: recently ate an entire bag of frozen French fries straight

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Speaker 2: out the freezer. Honestly, they're like little bites of apples.

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Speaker 2: Would highly recommend.

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Speaker 3: Why do I want to try it now?

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Speaker 2: Our listeners are so sadistic and we love it. In fact,

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Speaker 2: that's why we broadcast your secrets here on this show,

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Speaker 2: so that Satan can hear them and decide to take you.

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Speaker 4: First before he grabs us.

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Speaker 2: Satan big listener to our show, By the way, he

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Speaker 2: loves this SEGMENTLD. And today we've got a guy who

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Speaker 2: wants to use the fake name Chris to confess one

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Speaker 2: of his own secrets.

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Speaker 4: Chris, Welcome to Satan's favorite radio show. How are you

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Speaker 4: doing today?

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Speaker 2: I go there, the voice changer is on. You are

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Speaker 2: the mass speaker, Chris. When have you're ready?

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Speaker 4: Let's hear your confession?

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Speaker 1: Okay, here goes. I'm really really young at this point,

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Speaker 1: like six or seven.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay right now, because you sound ye, he's got

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Speaker 3: a mature voice.

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Speaker 2: For a first voice change it as wonders.

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Speaker 3: Just kidding, Sorry, what's going on? So when you were

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Speaker 3: six or seven, when you're like, since.

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Speaker 1: Seven, you're like a little sociopath, right you are?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I think if my son is a sweet

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Speaker 3: little boy, but take your pick.

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Speaker 1: I was a sociopath. So my folks go away, just

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Speaker 1: the two of them, and leave my sister and I alone,

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Speaker 1: and they go to Hawaii.

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Speaker 4: Whoa, I'm so jealous.

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Speaker 3: I'm guessing I'm hoping you have a lot older sister.

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Speaker 4: No, no, what why would you need to have an

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Speaker 4: older sister?

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Speaker 3: I left him alone.

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Speaker 1: We had to stay with my really weird aunt.

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Speaker 3: I thought this was a confession about child abandonment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a different segment that we do. An also

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Speaker 2: huge fan of that one too.

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Speaker 1: So we had a good time probably. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So your aunt is babysitting you and your sister

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Speaker 2: over at your house.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean she's like yacht, smells like cigarettes and

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Speaker 1: like red wine.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I always picture the ants from The Simpsons.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so we're like stuck with her and like

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Speaker 1: we were just miserable. So to get back at my

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Speaker 1: parents for leaving us there. To get back okay, we

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Speaker 1: snuck into their room and I feel really bad saying this. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I haven't really told anyone. We found their photo album

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Speaker 1: of their wedding and we ripped up all of their pictures.

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Speaker 3: That's not even like funny like that. In the old days,

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Speaker 3: it's not like you had digital copies. You literally had

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Speaker 3: just that.

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Speaker 1: No married, like late eighties, it was like none of that.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, at least Broke only ripped up the photos

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Speaker 2: with her husband, not the.

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Speaker 3: Ones hurting the cakes. Yeah, that's so sad.

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Speaker 1: Awful, it's so awful. And no, it gets worse. Oh

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Speaker 1: so my sister and I were in there, like tearing

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Speaker 1: apart the photos and my aunt catches us.

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Speaker 3: Oh, punish your little punk.

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Speaker 1: So she wants to cover it up because she doesn't

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Speaker 1: want my parents to know that she was bad at

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Speaker 1: taking care of us or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's her fault. I don't think.

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Speaker 3: She's probably a younger sibling and she still has issues.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like, oh my god, she's gonna kill me too.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so now everybody's in trouble.

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Speaker 1: No, and so as one does you blame it on the.

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Speaker 3: Dog, you know, the dog who opened the photo book

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Speaker 3: and like went through her pictures them out of the pocket.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how did you sell that?

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Speaker 1: Well, it was just like we were looking at it

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Speaker 1: on the couch. She was telling about some stuff, and

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Speaker 1: we just left it out. Didn't pay attention. Dog just

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Speaker 1: shredded okay on the counter. No, they bought it. They

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Speaker 1: bought the story.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So they got home and they're like super bummed

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Speaker 3: out and now they hate the dog.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, dog never really recovered. I don't think. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, but I've betted it's so bad, like so much,

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Speaker 1: this whole thing my entire life. So I've been like

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Speaker 1: saving money and I want to get them to renew

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Speaker 1: their vows and I'm going to hire a professional and

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Speaker 1: like like in the hopes that it would kind of

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Speaker 1: I don't know, makeup.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what every bride wants, pictures of them really

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Speaker 3: old in a wedding.

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Speaker 4: Photoshop. So I'm sure you can do something to it.

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Speaker 3: I mean it's a good Yeah, for sure. Are you

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Speaker 3: going to confess though? Before?

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Speaker 1: I mean I think I have to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well no no, no, not before the sture because

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Speaker 4: they're gonna look real mad.

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Speaker 3: Well, just not before you pay the bill. Make sure

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Speaker 3: you pay the bill.

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Speaker 1: And get the digital copies.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, did your sister I mean you guys talk about

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Speaker 3: this together, about the shared guilt.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I mean no, no, no, they laugh about it.

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Speaker 1: No talk Okay, yeah, we don't know. It's like it's

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Speaker 1: just the subject that has never talked about.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay.

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Speaker 2: This is this is the dark memory from your childhood

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Speaker 2: that you and your sister shared until today.

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Speaker 4: Now the whole world.

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Speaker 1: Knows about it. Wow, they don't know my voice. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully your sister's in real counselate and not getting the

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Speaker 3: free stuff like you are right now.

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Speaker 1: Probably make more money than that.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you should pay for the photo. That's fine. At

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Speaker 4: least you have a little bit of remorse, a little

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Speaker 4: regret for what you did.

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Speaker 1: Oh so much.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, that's exactly now we started with the sociopath.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think we forgive you, right, we forgive them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, to sit with it for a minute.

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Speaker 3: Get there.

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Speaker 4: Event, look still on Satan's side with this one, So

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Speaker 4: good luck.

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Speaker 2: In text in seven eight, five, nine two, if you

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Speaker 2: have a confession you've been holding on to weeken hydror identity,

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Speaker 2: mask your voice and make you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 4: Your phone TAP's coming up.

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,