WEBVTT - Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner’s Disastrous I Do Part 2 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:21.880 Hey, they're folks, and welcome to I Do Partner two 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:24.919 and if you got love right the first time around, 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:28.080 this podcast ain't the one for you, because this podcast 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.120 for folks who gave it a second try, third, even 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:35.920 fourth sometime your hosts include it. And welcome to this episode. 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:40.040 Sitting alongside my partner Amy Roboch here with TJ. Holmes 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:44.760 and our guest today. Robes is somebody that I would 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:49.400 argue is probably he is, probably has a resume that 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:52.680 he could host this show. We could recruit him to 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:54.640 be one of our hosts of this show. 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.400 Absolutely, because we are talking with the original the og 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.880 Golden Bash, Gary Turner. He has a new book that 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:07.280 is out now called Golden Years What I've Learned from Love, 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:12.319 Loss and Reality TV. And you are Gary right here. 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:15.279 We're looking at you with the new love of your life, 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.480 your new fiance, Lana. 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:18.759 Yeah, pretty awesome. 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:20.880 Congratulation, Thank you so much. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:22.400 It's been wonderful. 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:26.800 It's been wonderful and wild, I bet because wild, Yes, 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:28.840 a lot of emphasis on that, because theres a lot 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.440 we haven't seen of your life, and we still the 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.600 things we've seen have been wild. So there's a whole 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.880 lot more to be told. But can we first and 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:38.680 foremost get this out of the way. 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.200 What is the correct way to say your name? It's Gary, Gary, Gary. 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:45.360 The main thing is the hard G Gary. So yeah, 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:49.560 if my mom told me I was named after Saint Gerrard, okay, 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:53.640 and that I had an Irish name, and technically it's 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:57.120 supposed to be Gary Gary. But yeah, you know, you're 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:58.360 kind of splitting here. 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.240 And it's such it's hard enough to get people not 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:04.400 to say Jerry, right. You don't want to get too picky, right. 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:06.720 And you know, ever since the nuns whacked me on 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:09.520 the head when I was in about third grade, I 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:11.960 answered it both and I don't make waves about it. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.079 It's always a big deal to get somebody's name right. 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.160 And I think when people see it ge I throws 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:19.560 people off and they see it spell. But Gary, it 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:22.480 is good to have you in studio. Can we ask 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:24.920 for how's your health? How are you physically? Give us 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:25.600 an update on how you do? 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:26.440 Pretty good? 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:30.000 Actually, you know, there's been no change. I keep going 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.440 to the doctor every six months and getting those blood 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.160 tests that I'm supposed to get, and as long as 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:38.600 I don't have symptoms, I don't have any treatment yet. 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:42.040 That's fantastic, it is. And the prognosis. Have they given 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:45.040 you an idea about when treatment might have to start 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:45.920 at some point? 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:51.200 So typically a person can have this disease from three 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.320 to nine years before they need treatment. The problem is 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.240 you don't know when to start the clock. So I 0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:00.160 don't know if they found mine in year three or 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:04.799 year seven. But I'm way optimistic, and I have such 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.799 a good reason to be optimistic now, you know, I'm 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:10.520 thinking I got a long time. How do you feel? 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:12.200 I mean, you look, I'm sitting here looking at you. You 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.079 look great, You're upbeat, good energy. But how do you 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:17.000 physically feel? The question is always how does a normal 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:20.320 seventy four year old guy supposed to feel? Because when 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:22.080 you know you have aches and pains, or you have 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.800 that little grogginess or whatever, it's like, is this normal 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.040 for my age or is this something else? I choose 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:31.040 to think it's just normal for my age. Guy. 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:33.239 I love that, you know, because I am a cancer 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.240 survivor as well, and so when you have anything that 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:39.800 feels off, you sometimes go to deaf con five like 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.240 you start to worry, like this is it? This is 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.040 the moment when my life changes and I get that. 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.440 So little things are big things, and it's good to 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:51.240 hear you are taking care of yourself and you are 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:52.880 making sure you're being monitored. 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:55.240 Yeah. Thanks, and it's good that you can relate to that. 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:57.080 You kind of get it, you know, I do. 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.119 I do. It's it's something that when you start RECOGNI 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.440 that you don't. Your health is the most important thing 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.480 you could possibly have, and you don't know that until 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:06.560 it's taken away from you, right, So. 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:11.480 True that is is love helping your health. It's sure 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.760 helping my outlook on life. I would like to think 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:19.280 it transfers over to health. Absolutely. 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:22.040 They say that all the time, right, you have something, 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.960 your upbeat, you are optimistic, you have something to look for, 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:28.359 you have years you want now, and that's different and 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:29.320 it can help health. 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.400 That is perfectly said. Every day you get up and 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.560 you go, oh, I get another day with Lana. I 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:38.719 get another day of adventure and excitement. I mean, really, 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:42.040 we've known each other for getting really close to eight months. 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:46.120 Every single day has been a riot, and every day 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:49.120 is full of smiles. I don't think I've ever met 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.800 a more positive, energetic person. She won't allow me to 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:54.359 get down. 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.039 We can't wait to get into the book because you 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.000 don't hold anything back. But I do want to ask 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:01.400 one more thing, because I have to say, for anyone 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.000 who can't see your face right now, who's just listening, 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:09.320 you are eminate, like you are radiating love and positivity 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:12.560 and joy, and it really is infectious and beautiful to see. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:17.000 So like, truly congratulations. You can tell you are happy? 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:19.480 Yeah, I am really exca. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.360 You are joyful? Can you tell us for people who 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:25.080 haven't been keeping up? Because you mentioned you and Lana 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:26.960 have known each other for eight months, a lot of 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.560 folks the last they've heard of you was you were 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:32.880 in the middle of a dealing with a three month 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:36.480 marriage that you were getting divorced from, and all of 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.960 a sudden, now you've got beautiful Lana in your life 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.960 and you're preparing actually to get married for the third time. 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:44.760 How did this all happen so quickly? 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:48.599 Ooh, that's really a good question, you know. I like 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:54.000 to think that the show's premise worked, probably some divine 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:56.200 intervention in there that put the two of us in 0:05:56.240 --> 0:06:00.280 the right spot at the right time. But I think 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.920 if you don't give up, you still keep heart, you 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:07.040 keep hope you keep humor in your life. Good things happen, 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:08.960 you get to the spot where you're supposed to be, 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.000 and you know, a little praise to above. You know 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:15.040 that helps a lot. So that's kind of where I'm. 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:17.640 At with it connect those dots for us the show 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:21.560 and how it relates to you now, the divine intervention 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:23.799 you talk about that led to you being engaged. 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:26.520 Where did God come into play? I guess? 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.920 And getting from proposal and a marriage we all saw 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.160 to us sitting in a room now with you and 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:33.760 your fiance. 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.240 So you know, the conversation that Lanna and I have 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:43.080 had a couple of times is look at all the instances, consequence, 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:47.520 ar mean, coincidences, everything that had to happen in the 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:51.800 right sequence for us to have met on you know, 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:56.240 March seventh of this year, to meet each other in 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:59.119 such a magical way, and it's like you look back 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:02.080 and it's like I wouldn't have been where I was 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.320 at had I not been on the show. She would 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:05.320 not have known of me. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.160 Landa reached out to you via Facebook? Is that what happened? 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.000 Yeah? Yeah, kind of, you know, after I realized she 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.200 wasn't a stalker, I took her a little more seriously. 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:15.920 How long did that take? Did it feel? 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:20.880 Stalker is for a while, About a New York minute, 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:22.200 not very long. 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:26.160 So she reaches out, you realize that she's the real deal, 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.640 and how long before you actually met in person? And 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:30.160 then you realize she was the one? 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.640 So it wasn't very long. It was several days. You know, 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.200 there's no sense in putting it off, you know, TikTok, 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:40.160 TikTok when you're seventy something. And so she reached out. 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:45.400 We kind of realized that neither of us were being catfished. 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.720 And you know, from her perspective, I think it was 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:51.400 more than mine. She really wasn't sure I was the 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.560 real guy. In fact, to try and prove to her, 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.920 I went out in my garage and I took a 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.200 picture of my license plate in my car, and my 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:06.120 license plate is GLD batch Bach and I go, I'm 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:10.400 really the guy, and she goes, that picture could have 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:11.560 come from anywhere. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:13.520 Who would do that. 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.760 So, after we vetted each other it it got to 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.160 the point where I said, okay, let's meet for dinner, 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:23.280 because that's what she threw out. She said, really, the 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:25.680 only way you're going to convince me that you're really 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:29.480 the Golden Bachelor is to meet me in person. I go, damn, 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.240 I'm done. Then that's what we're doing. 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.079 Wait a minute, she reaches out to you and then 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:34.280 you have to prove who you are. 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:34.920 What is that? 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:35.560 Does that make? 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:36.719 Thank you? 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:37.600 Thank you? 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:42.959 But okay, brought that up over all, Right, he's some 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:45.320 male based factor driven logic around here. 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:47.000 Yes, that doesn't make any sense. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:59.480 Yeah, what was that dinner? 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:05.360 Like? Oh man, I you know, I really can't overstate this. 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:09.800 I was at the restaurant Vestibule a little bit early 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.840 waiting for her, and when she showed up, it was like, 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:17.440 oh my god, this is it. She's tall, she's elegant, 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:21.560 she carried herself well, she looks gorgeous, and you know, 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:24.560 the dinner was just amazing. 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:26.040 She showed up. 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.120 I was so impressed. I gotta I gotta tell you this. 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:32.320 I was so impressed because early on in the dinner, 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.920 you know, I had told her that I had cancer 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:37.800 and she looks at me and she goes, you know, 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:39.760 I've already done the research. I know all about it. 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:43.240 You're fine, that's not an issue with me. Yeah. She 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.880 brought a little plaque that said, you miss one hundred 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:50.959 percent of the shots that you don't take. Okay, I 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:54.080 mean she's presenting this to me at the dinner, and 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.440 finally she gave me a condolence card because my father 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.439 had passed away about six the days prior. So I'm 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:06.080 going this woman has really a nice heart. And so 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:08.840 she was clear with me. She goes, I have a 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.920 five date rule, so don't get too excited. And I said, well, 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:16.000 can I ask you out for the second date on 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.880 the first night? And I said, you know, after dinner 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:19.920 we go to dairy queen? 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.240 Can that count as two days? 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.600 She didn't go for it, but we did spend extra 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.720 time after dinner together, so it was I'm telling you, 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:34.360 it was magical. We talked, we realized how much we 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.839 had in common with our Midwest background and our beliefs 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.680 and our values and our kids. She has two daughters 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:44.800 and a son, and I have two daughters, and we've 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.600 mixed the families already, and it's hard to believe how 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.600 well they get along. It's pretty much a laugh riot. 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:55.760 Isn't it incredible when you've had the perspective of things 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:59.119 going well and things not going well, going through heartbreak 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:01.440 and heartache, and then all of a sudden when things 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.440 line up, you know in a way you didn't before 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:05.280 or you couldn't have. 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:09.040 Oh, that is so true, because you know, I spent 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.520 all of that time on the show looking for a 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:15.079 feeling and trying to force it and trying to create it, 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.280 and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn't 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.560 have to force it. I didn't have to create it. 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:25.000 It was just there. And it is like, I mean, 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.040 I'm sitting here right now, there's a little bit of chill. 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.439 It's like it's really really good. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.079 Yeah, I know you all can hear to our listeners here. 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.319 There's sometimes I say this, sometimes I can hear you 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.520 smiling through the phone, and I'm sure if you all 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:40.280 anybody's listening, you can hear him smiling as he's talking. 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.040 It is very cool to see to your first date 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.800 were you You mentioned the clock ticking? Right, you understand 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.120 the clock taking? What am I waiting around for? How 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.840 do you balance? I guess the clock was ticking while 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.200 you were doing the show as well. Do you try 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:55.320 to balance? Okay, the clock is ticking, but I also 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:56.760 do need to be in a need to be in 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.200 a hurry and do something because I just was in 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.680 a hurry and did something, feeling the pressure of the 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:04.400 moment and all this. So how did you still at 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:06.680 seventy four go, wait, maybe I shouldn't rush it, but 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.120 this is it and I need to get off the pop. 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:12.120 So on the show, I didn't have any control over 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.920 the velocity of what was happening. You know, that was 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.480 going to happen, whether I liked it or not, and 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.840 those things, the energy and the flow of it. But 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.280 back in the real world, once I got there, things changed, 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:31.160 and you know, I was very despondent after the divorce. 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:34.360 I thought, man, after forty three years of success, I 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.679 did something that was a real failure, you know, and 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:42.080 I felt personally responsible for that failure. I'd failed myself 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.080 and my own values and what I believed in and 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:47.040 so forth. So it took me quite some time to 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:52.040 get over that. But once I put my mind back 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.800 on the right track and became more positive about things, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:59.120 and then you know, Atlanta shows up, then it became timeless. 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:03.439 There was no timeline involved. It was just one thing happened, 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:06.520 and then the next thing happened and so forth, and 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:12.000 really we didn't even think about the time lapse and 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:13.880 the age and all of that. 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.080 You said something I know a lot of our listeners 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.120 and me as well, I would be curious to hear 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.199 you talked about the divorce, seeing it as a failure. 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:22.520 You said it took you a while to get over it. 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.839 How did you Because a lot of people do feel like, well, 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:26.880 I can't give this up because then it will look 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:28.920 then I did something wrong. 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.400 I failed in this. How did you get past that feeling? 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:34.319 Yeah, I'm not even sure I have a good answer 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:38.480 for that. You know, you'd self evaluate, you'd go back 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:43.160 and realize, Okay, Fundamentally, the mistake I made going into 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:48.000 that show was that I was coming out with my partner. 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:52.160 It was never an option for me to come out 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:55.240 empty handed, so to speak, that I wouldn't have my partner. 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.240 That I believed in the vetting that ABC had done 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.560 with the contestants, and I believed in it everything that 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:05.360 was leading up to that. So I my own mistake, 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:09.800 the fundamental mistake, was not believing that I could walk 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:11.480 out of there without someone. 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.880 Did you feel pressure to do that? Was it personal pressure? 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.440 Did you feel pressure from the show, from the fans, 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:19.520 from the audience that was. 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.240 Really a personal pressure. And then you know, there is 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:25.080 a chapter in the book that talks about drinking from 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.680 the fire hydrant, and you know, certainly that is a pressure, 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:33.960 but it's something you put on yourself. There's such high 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:41.120 expectations going into that environment, and not expectations that someone 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:45.040 is placing on you, but from within. And you know 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:49.080 when you fail at those expectations at the end, and 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:53.120 you've not done a great job of evaluating your own 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:56.320 life and the love life that you've joined with someone else, 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:00.760 and I screwed up SoC. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.880 And I've heard had several people describe how you describe 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.040 the feeling you had either the night before you propose 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.760 and all these things, and it was what was the 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.800 Heather was just telling us like you felt empty, even 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.080 like you're seeing during the proposal. Can you take us 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:21.040 back to for a second, because people get cold feet, right, 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.280 it sounded like and you maybe you tell us, was 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.280 it beyond just cold feet and being nervous? What did 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.720 it feel like when you were about to make that 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:33.600 decision and about to propose. Did you just know this 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.520 ain't right? Or was it just normal I'm a little nervous. 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.440 So to set the stage a little bit give us 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:43.600 some context. Remember, the night before I proposed to Teresa 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.520 was a very emotional night because of Leslie, And those 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:52.720 were the feelings that were really overriding everything else that 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.080 I had done the wrong thing, that I hadn't handled 0:15:56.240 --> 0:16:02.680 the Leslie's situation properly. And I do remember how emotional 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.800 that was, and telling myself, Hey, you've got to get 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.440 your head straight because twelve hours from now you're going 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:11.520 to be standing in front of another woman asking her 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:15.200 to marry you again. Would you give me an Oh 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:16.160 my god, for me too? 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:21.360 Yeah, Okay, that's that's too much. It's like, yeah, oh wow. 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:25.680 So it's really it's tough. It's really really a difficult situation. 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:40.680 How much harder was it to be the Golden Bachelor 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:42.200 than you thought it was going to be? 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:46.000 Oh? Man, I never no one's ever asked me that question. 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:49.280 It was way harder than I ever thought it was 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:51.040 going to be. I thought it was going to be 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:55.720 unicorns and butterflies and everything great, and man it was 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.520 it was work. It was work, And I don't mean 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.800 that in a negative way. I mean that it was 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:05.040 a job and you had to throw yourself into it, 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:08.600 and you had to give it everything you had, and 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:10.639 you had to go buy someone else's rules, You had 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:13.679 to give up control of your own life. There was 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.320 a lot. There was a lot, and but again I 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:19.920 go back to the belief that it was like, all 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:21.600 this is going to be worth it. I'm going to 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:25.200 find my person at the end of these episodes. I'm 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.080 going to be in the best place possible. And then 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:30.600 that doesn't quite get there. 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:31.560 It didn't. 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.240 And then the aftermath, what was the public scrutiny like 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:35.320 for you personally? 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:39.600 Oh, it sucked the the you know, part of that 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.040 failure is I also felt like, in the face of 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.120 my daughters that I had let them down and all 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.280 the things as a dad that I had preached, you know, 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:55.960 all those principles, and then afterwards the the media scrutiny 0:17:56.520 --> 0:18:00.960 was so critical and so lops I did. And that 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.240 was part of the beginning of the thought of the book. 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.160 It's like, no, you're not seeing the whole picture. You're 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:09.399 not seeing this in balance. There was two people that 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:13.639 made this decision, not one. It wasn't like I imposed 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:19.479 my will on this decision. We talked about it. We 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:23.000 agreed that this is what was best for us, and 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:25.679 so yeah, I wanted. I wanted the whole story to 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:26.119 be told. 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:30.320 But why did we miss that story in the first place? 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:33.640 Is it, really, in your opinion, just the way a 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.639 couple of tabloids it takes off and you can't stop it. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.240 Or was there someone feeding this machine, if you will, 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:41.879 that storyline. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.240 That would maybe be for someone else to judge other 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:44.639 than me. 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:46.879 Oh no, we got you here, so you. 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:52.960 I think there were some influences that allowed it to 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.719 go that way. And you know, that's where I felt 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:59.760 quite a bit of betrayal. You know, Teresa and I 0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:03.639 the day before we were interviewed with Juju Chang and 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.240 announced that we were going to be divorced. We solemnly 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:08.120 agree that we're going to look out for each other, 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:09.879 and I think that was the noble thing to do 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.800 on both of our parts. Part of that agreement was 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:16.000 that neither of us would put out a unilateral statement. 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:20.159 ABC suggested that would be a very good idea, just 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:24.760 stay quiet. Forty eight hours later, Terrace is putting out 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:27.800 a public statement. Boy, and I'm going come on, that's 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.879 not what you know, that's not in our best interest, 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:33.879 our mutual best interest. 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:35.520 There you go, mutual? 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:37.680 Yeah, did you get a heads up the other state 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:38.280 was coming on? 0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:41.720 No? No, no, huh no. So I really thought we 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.080 had set the stage as best we could to weather 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:49.600 the storm, take the blows, and then move on. And 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:52.000 then it turned out that wasn't the way it happened. 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.800 And as we know, just from being members of the 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:58.360 media and certainly having our own firestorm of stories being 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:02.600 written about us that weren't true at all, once that 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.639 train leaves the station, it's almost impossible to stop it. 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.359 So a lot of folks believe your divorce with Teresa 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.359 was because of your cancer diagnosis. There's a lot of 0:20:12.400 --> 0:20:14.720 finger pointing. Can you clear up? And I know you 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:16.640 do in the book, but for the listeners right now, 0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:20.360 and the details are there and they're fascinating. Why did 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:22.120 you and Teresa get divorced? 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:28.000 Well, when real life hit us and on the show, 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:31.439 you know, she had mentioned in that last dinner before 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:34.080 the Fantasy Suites that when she found the right guy, 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:38.520 she was ready to quit her job. That really changed 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.919 my thinking about her because before that I had always 0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:45.919 wondered about that particular factor because I wanted to travel 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:48.000 and I wanted to adventure, and I knew that I 0:20:48.119 --> 0:20:50.680 was getting to the later parts of the fourth quarter 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.520 of my life, and I wanted to capture a lot 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:54.120 of the things that I was never able to do. 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:58.520 And so then after the show was over and we 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:01.920 get into our conversations about marriage and what's going to happen, 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.480 and she continued she would continue to go back to 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.600 the statement that I want to work for another year now. 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:11.560 To a guy twenty five years old, another year may 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.600 not seem like march to a guy like seventy five. Again, 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:18.000