1 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: Hey, they're folks, and welcome to I Do Partner two 2 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: and if you got love right the first time around, 3 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: this podcast ain't the one for you, because this podcast 4 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: for folks who gave it a second try, third, even 5 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: fourth sometime your hosts include it. And welcome to this episode. 6 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: Sitting alongside my partner Amy Roboch here with TJ. Holmes 7 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: and our guest today. Robes is somebody that I would 8 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: argue is probably he is, probably has a resume that 9 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: he could host this show. We could recruit him to 10 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: be one of our hosts of this show. 11 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: Absolutely, because we are talking with the original the og 12 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 2: Golden Bash, Gary Turner. He has a new book that 13 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 2: is out now called Golden Years What I've Learned from Love, 14 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 2: Loss and Reality TV. And you are Gary right here. 15 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,279 Speaker 2: We're looking at you with the new love of your life, 16 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: your new fiance, Lana. 17 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty awesome. 18 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 2: Congratulation, Thank you so much. 19 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 3: It's been wonderful. 20 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: It's been wonderful and wild, I bet because wild, Yes, 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: a lot of emphasis on that, because theres a lot 22 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: we haven't seen of your life, and we still the 23 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: things we've seen have been wild. So there's a whole 24 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: lot more to be told. But can we first and 25 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: foremost get this out of the way. 26 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 3: What is the correct way to say your name? It's Gary, Gary, Gary. 27 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 3: The main thing is the hard G Gary. So yeah, 28 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 3: if my mom told me I was named after Saint Gerrard, okay, 29 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 3: and that I had an Irish name, and technically it's 30 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 3: supposed to be Gary Gary. But yeah, you know, you're 31 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 3: kind of splitting here. 32 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 2: And it's such it's hard enough to get people not 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 2: to say Jerry, right. You don't want to get too picky, right. 34 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 3: And you know, ever since the nuns whacked me on 35 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 3: the head when I was in about third grade, I 36 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 3: answered it both and I don't make waves about it. 37 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 1: It's always a big deal to get somebody's name right. 38 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: And I think when people see it ge I throws 39 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: people off and they see it spell. But Gary, it 40 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: is good to have you in studio. Can we ask 41 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: for how's your health? How are you physically? Give us 42 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: an update on how you do? 43 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 4: Pretty good? 44 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 3: Actually, you know, there's been no change. I keep going 45 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 3: to the doctor every six months and getting those blood 46 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 3: tests that I'm supposed to get, and as long as 47 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 3: I don't have symptoms, I don't have any treatment yet. 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: That's fantastic, it is. And the prognosis. Have they given 49 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 2: you an idea about when treatment might have to start 50 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 2: at some point? 51 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 3: So typically a person can have this disease from three 52 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 3: to nine years before they need treatment. The problem is 53 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 3: you don't know when to start the clock. So I 54 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 3: don't know if they found mine in year three or 55 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 3: year seven. But I'm way optimistic, and I have such 56 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 3: a good reason to be optimistic now, you know, I'm 57 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 3: thinking I got a long time. How do you feel? 58 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 3: I mean, you look, I'm sitting here looking at you. You 59 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 3: look great, You're upbeat, good energy. But how do you 60 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 3: physically feel? The question is always how does a normal 61 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 3: seventy four year old guy supposed to feel? Because when 62 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 3: you know you have aches and pains, or you have 63 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 3: that little grogginess or whatever, it's like, is this normal 64 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 3: for my age or is this something else? I choose 65 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 3: to think it's just normal for my age. Guy. 66 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 2: I love that, you know, because I am a cancer 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 2: survivor as well, and so when you have anything that 68 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 2: feels off, you sometimes go to deaf con five like 69 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: you start to worry, like this is it? This is 70 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 2: the moment when my life changes and I get that. 71 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 2: So little things are big things, and it's good to 72 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: hear you are taking care of yourself and you are 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: making sure you're being monitored. 74 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. Thanks, and it's good that you can relate to that. 75 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 3: You kind of get it, you know, I do. 76 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,119 Speaker 2: I do. It's it's something that when you start RECOGNI 77 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: that you don't. Your health is the most important thing 78 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 2: you could possibly have, and you don't know that until 79 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 2: it's taken away from you, right, So. 80 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 3: True that is is love helping your health. It's sure 81 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 3: helping my outlook on life. I would like to think 82 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 3: it transfers over to health. Absolutely. 83 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: They say that all the time, right, you have something, 84 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: your upbeat, you are optimistic, you have something to look for, 85 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,359 Speaker 1: you have years you want now, and that's different and 86 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: it can help health. 87 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 3: That is perfectly said. Every day you get up and 88 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 3: you go, oh, I get another day with Lana. I 89 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 3: get another day of adventure and excitement. I mean, really, 90 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 3: we've known each other for getting really close to eight months. 91 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 3: Every single day has been a riot, and every day 92 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 3: is full of smiles. I don't think I've ever met 93 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 3: a more positive, energetic person. She won't allow me to 94 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 3: get down. 95 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,039 Speaker 2: We can't wait to get into the book because you 96 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: don't hold anything back. But I do want to ask 97 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 2: one more thing, because I have to say, for anyone 98 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 2: who can't see your face right now, who's just listening, 99 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: you are eminate, like you are radiating love and positivity 100 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 2: and joy, and it really is infectious and beautiful to see. 101 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 2: So like, truly congratulations. You can tell you are happy? 102 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am really exca. 103 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 2: You are joyful? Can you tell us for people who 104 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 2: haven't been keeping up? Because you mentioned you and Lana 105 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 2: have known each other for eight months, a lot of 106 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 2: folks the last they've heard of you was you were 107 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: in the middle of a dealing with a three month 108 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 2: marriage that you were getting divorced from, and all of 109 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 2: a sudden, now you've got beautiful Lana in your life 110 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: and you're preparing actually to get married for the third time. 111 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: How did this all happen so quickly? 112 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 3: Ooh, that's really a good question, you know. I like 113 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 3: to think that the show's premise worked, probably some divine 114 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 3: intervention in there that put the two of us in 115 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 3: the right spot at the right time. But I think 116 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 3: if you don't give up, you still keep heart, you 117 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 3: keep hope you keep humor in your life. Good things happen, 118 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 3: you get to the spot where you're supposed to be, 119 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 3: and you know, a little praise to above. You know 120 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 3: that helps a lot. So that's kind of where I'm. 121 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: At with it connect those dots for us the show 122 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: and how it relates to you now, the divine intervention 123 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,799 Speaker 1: you talk about that led to you being engaged. 124 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 4: Where did God come into play? I guess? 125 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: And getting from proposal and a marriage we all saw 126 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: to us sitting in a room now with you and 127 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: your fiance. 128 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 3: So you know, the conversation that Lanna and I have 129 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 3: had a couple of times is look at all the instances, consequence, 130 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 3: ar mean, coincidences, everything that had to happen in the 131 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 3: right sequence for us to have met on you know, 132 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 3: March seventh of this year, to meet each other in 133 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,119 Speaker 3: such a magical way, and it's like you look back 134 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 3: and it's like I wouldn't have been where I was 135 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 3: at had I not been on the show. She would 136 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 3: not have known of me. 137 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 2: Landa reached out to you via Facebook? Is that what happened? 138 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, kind of, you know, after I realized she 139 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 3: wasn't a stalker, I took her a little more seriously. 140 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 4: How long did that take? Did it feel? 141 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: Stalker is for a while, About a New York minute, 142 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: not very long. 143 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 2: So she reaches out, you realize that she's the real deal, 144 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 2: and how long before you actually met in person? And 145 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 2: then you realize she was the one? 146 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 3: So it wasn't very long. It was several days. You know, 147 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 3: there's no sense in putting it off, you know, TikTok, 148 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: TikTok when you're seventy something. And so she reached out. 149 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 3: We kind of realized that neither of us were being catfished. 150 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 3: And you know, from her perspective, I think it was 151 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 3: more than mine. She really wasn't sure I was the 152 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 3: real guy. In fact, to try and prove to her, 153 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 3: I went out in my garage and I took a 154 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 3: picture of my license plate in my car, and my 155 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 3: license plate is GLD batch Bach and I go, I'm 156 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 3: really the guy, and she goes, that picture could have 157 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 3: come from anywhere. 158 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 4: Who would do that. 159 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 3: So, after we vetted each other it it got to 160 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 3: the point where I said, okay, let's meet for dinner, 161 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 3: because that's what she threw out. She said, really, the 162 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 3: only way you're going to convince me that you're really 163 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 3: the Golden Bachelor is to meet me in person. I go, damn, 164 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 3: I'm done. Then that's what we're doing. 165 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 4: Wait a minute, she reaches out to you and then 166 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 4: you have to prove who you are. 167 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 3: What is that? 168 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 4: Does that make? 169 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:36,719 Speaker 3: Thank you? 170 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 4: Thank you? 171 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: But okay, brought that up over all, Right, he's some 172 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: male based factor driven logic around here. 173 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 4: Yes, that doesn't make any sense. 174 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, what was that dinner? 175 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 3: Like? Oh man, I you know, I really can't overstate this. 176 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 3: I was at the restaurant Vestibule a little bit early 177 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 3: waiting for her, and when she showed up, it was like, 178 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 3: oh my god, this is it. She's tall, she's elegant, 179 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 3: she carried herself well, she looks gorgeous, and you know, 180 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 3: the dinner was just amazing. 181 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 4: She showed up. 182 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 3: I was so impressed. I gotta I gotta tell you this. 183 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 3: I was so impressed because early on in the dinner, 184 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 3: you know, I had told her that I had cancer 185 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 3: and she looks at me and she goes, you know, 186 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 3: I've already done the research. I know all about it. 187 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 3: You're fine, that's not an issue with me. Yeah. She 188 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 3: brought a little plaque that said, you miss one hundred 189 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 3: percent of the shots that you don't take. Okay, I 190 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 3: mean she's presenting this to me at the dinner, and 191 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 3: finally she gave me a condolence card because my father 192 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 3: had passed away about six the days prior. So I'm 193 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 3: going this woman has really a nice heart. And so 194 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 3: she was clear with me. She goes, I have a 195 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 3: five date rule, so don't get too excited. And I said, well, 196 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 3: can I ask you out for the second date on 197 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 3: the first night? And I said, you know, after dinner 198 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 3: we go to dairy queen? 199 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 4: Can that count as two days? 200 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 3: She didn't go for it, but we did spend extra 201 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 3: time after dinner together, so it was I'm telling you, 202 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 3: it was magical. We talked, we realized how much we 203 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,839 Speaker 3: had in common with our Midwest background and our beliefs 204 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 3: and our values and our kids. She has two daughters 205 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 3: and a son, and I have two daughters, and we've 206 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 3: mixed the families already, and it's hard to believe how 207 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 3: well they get along. It's pretty much a laugh riot. 208 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 2: Isn't it incredible when you've had the perspective of things 209 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,119 Speaker 2: going well and things not going well, going through heartbreak 210 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 2: and heartache, and then all of a sudden when things 211 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 2: line up, you know in a way you didn't before 212 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 2: or you couldn't have. 213 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 3: Oh, that is so true, because you know, I spent 214 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 3: all of that time on the show looking for a 215 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 3: feeling and trying to force it and trying to create it, 216 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn't 217 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 3: have to force it. I didn't have to create it. 218 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 3: It was just there. And it is like, I mean, 219 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 3: I'm sitting here right now, there's a little bit of chill. 220 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 3: It's like it's really really good. 221 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you all can hear to our listeners here. 222 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: There's sometimes I say this, sometimes I can hear you 223 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 1: smiling through the phone, and I'm sure if you all 224 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: anybody's listening, you can hear him smiling as he's talking. 225 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: It is very cool to see to your first date 226 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: were you You mentioned the clock ticking? Right, you understand 227 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: the clock taking? What am I waiting around for? How 228 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: do you balance? I guess the clock was ticking while 229 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 1: you were doing the show as well. Do you try 230 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: to balance? Okay, the clock is ticking, but I also 231 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: do need to be in a need to be in 232 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 1: a hurry and do something because I just was in 233 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 1: a hurry and did something, feeling the pressure of the 234 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: moment and all this. So how did you still at 235 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: seventy four go, wait, maybe I shouldn't rush it, but 236 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: this is it and I need to get off the pop. 237 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 3: So on the show, I didn't have any control over 238 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 3: the velocity of what was happening. You know, that was 239 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 3: going to happen, whether I liked it or not, and 240 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 3: those things, the energy and the flow of it. But 241 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 3: back in the real world, once I got there, things changed, 242 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 3: and you know, I was very despondent after the divorce. 243 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 3: I thought, man, after forty three years of success, I 244 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,679 Speaker 3: did something that was a real failure, you know, and 245 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 3: I felt personally responsible for that failure. I'd failed myself 246 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 3: and my own values and what I believed in and 247 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 3: so forth. So it took me quite some time to 248 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 3: get over that. But once I put my mind back 249 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 3: on the right track and became more positive about things, 250 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 3: and then you know, Atlanta shows up, then it became timeless. 251 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 3: There was no timeline involved. It was just one thing happened, 252 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 3: and then the next thing happened and so forth, and 253 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 3: really we didn't even think about the time lapse and 254 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 3: the age and all of that. 255 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: You said something I know a lot of our listeners 256 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: and me as well, I would be curious to hear 257 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,199 Speaker 1: you talked about the divorce, seeing it as a failure. 258 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: You said it took you a while to get over it. 259 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: How did you Because a lot of people do feel like, well, 260 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: I can't give this up because then it will look 261 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: then I did something wrong. 262 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 5: I failed in this. How did you get past that feeling? 263 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not even sure I have a good answer 264 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 3: for that. You know, you'd self evaluate, you'd go back 265 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 3: and realize, Okay, Fundamentally, the mistake I made going into 266 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 3: that show was that I was coming out with my partner. 267 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 3: It was never an option for me to come out 268 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 3: empty handed, so to speak, that I wouldn't have my partner. 269 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 3: That I believed in the vetting that ABC had done 270 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 3: with the contestants, and I believed in it everything that 271 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 3: was leading up to that. So I my own mistake, 272 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 3: the fundamental mistake, was not believing that I could walk 273 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 3: out of there without someone. 274 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 2: Did you feel pressure to do that? Was it personal pressure? 275 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 2: Did you feel pressure from the show, from the fans, 276 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 2: from the audience that was. 277 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 3: Really a personal pressure. And then you know, there is 278 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 3: a chapter in the book that talks about drinking from 279 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 3: the fire hydrant, and you know, certainly that is a pressure, 280 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 3: but it's something you put on yourself. There's such high 281 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 3: expectations going into that environment, and not expectations that someone 282 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 3: is placing on you, but from within. And you know 283 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 3: when you fail at those expectations at the end, and 284 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 3: you've not done a great job of evaluating your own 285 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 3: life and the love life that you've joined with someone else, 286 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 3: and I screwed up SoC. 287 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: And I've heard had several people describe how you describe 288 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: the feeling you had either the night before you propose 289 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: and all these things, and it was what was the 290 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: Heather was just telling us like you felt empty, even 291 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: like you're seeing during the proposal. Can you take us 292 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: back to for a second, because people get cold feet, right, 293 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: it sounded like and you maybe you tell us, was 294 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: it beyond just cold feet and being nervous? What did 295 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: it feel like when you were about to make that 296 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: decision and about to propose. Did you just know this 297 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: ain't right? Or was it just normal I'm a little nervous. 298 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 3: So to set the stage a little bit give us 299 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 3: some context. Remember, the night before I proposed to Teresa 300 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 3: was a very emotional night because of Leslie, And those 301 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 3: were the feelings that were really overriding everything else that 302 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 3: I had done the wrong thing, that I hadn't handled 303 00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 3: the Leslie's situation properly. And I do remember how emotional 304 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 3: that was, and telling myself, Hey, you've got to get 305 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 3: your head straight because twelve hours from now you're going 306 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 3: to be standing in front of another woman asking her 307 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 3: to marry you again. Would you give me an Oh 308 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 3: my god, for me too? 309 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, that's that's too much. It's like, yeah, oh wow. 310 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 3: So it's really it's tough. It's really really a difficult situation. 311 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 2: How much harder was it to be the Golden Bachelor 312 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 2: than you thought it was going to be? 313 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 3: Oh? Man, I never no one's ever asked me that question. 314 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 3: It was way harder than I ever thought it was 315 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 3: going to be. I thought it was going to be 316 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 3: unicorns and butterflies and everything great, and man it was 317 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 3: it was work. It was work, And I don't mean 318 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 3: that in a negative way. I mean that it was 319 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 3: a job and you had to throw yourself into it, 320 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 3: and you had to give it everything you had, and 321 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 3: you had to go buy someone else's rules, You had 322 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,679 Speaker 3: to give up control of your own life. There was 323 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 3: a lot. There was a lot, and but again I 324 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 3: go back to the belief that it was like, all 325 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 3: this is going to be worth it. I'm going to 326 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 3: find my person at the end of these episodes. I'm 327 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 3: going to be in the best place possible. And then 328 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 3: that doesn't quite get there. 329 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 4: It didn't. 330 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 2: And then the aftermath, what was the public scrutiny like 331 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: for you personally? 332 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: Oh, it sucked the the you know, part of that 333 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 3: failure is I also felt like, in the face of 334 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 3: my daughters that I had let them down and all 335 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 3: the things as a dad that I had preached, you know, 336 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 3: all those principles, and then afterwards the the media scrutiny 337 00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 3: was so critical and so lops I did. And that 338 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 3: was part of the beginning of the thought of the book. 339 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 3: It's like, no, you're not seeing the whole picture. You're 340 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 3: not seeing this in balance. There was two people that 341 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 3: made this decision, not one. It wasn't like I imposed 342 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:19,479 Speaker 3: my will on this decision. We talked about it. We 343 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 3: agreed that this is what was best for us, and 344 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 3: so yeah, I wanted. I wanted the whole story to 345 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 3: be told. 346 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: But why did we miss that story in the first place? 347 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 1: Is it, really, in your opinion, just the way a 348 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 1: couple of tabloids it takes off and you can't stop it. 349 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: Or was there someone feeding this machine, if you will, 350 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 1: that storyline. 351 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 3: That would maybe be for someone else to judge other 352 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:44,639 Speaker 3: than me. 353 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 4: Oh no, we got you here, so you. 354 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 3: I think there were some influences that allowed it to 355 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,719 Speaker 3: go that way. And you know, that's where I felt 356 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 3: quite a bit of betrayal. You know, Teresa and I 357 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 3: the day before we were interviewed with Juju Chang and 358 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 3: announced that we were going to be divorced. We solemnly 359 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,120 Speaker 3: agree that we're going to look out for each other, 360 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 3: and I think that was the noble thing to do 361 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 3: on both of our parts. Part of that agreement was 362 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 3: that neither of us would put out a unilateral statement. 363 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 3: ABC suggested that would be a very good idea, just 364 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 3: stay quiet. Forty eight hours later, Terrace is putting out 365 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 3: a public statement. Boy, and I'm going come on, that's 366 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:31,879 Speaker 3: not what you know, that's not in our best interest, 367 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 3: our mutual best interest. 368 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 2: There you go, mutual? 369 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, did you get a heads up the other state 370 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 5: was coming on? 371 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 3: No? No, no, huh no. So I really thought we 372 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 3: had set the stage as best we could to weather 373 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 3: the storm, take the blows, and then move on. And 374 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 3: then it turned out that wasn't the way it happened. 375 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 2: And as we know, just from being members of the 376 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,360 Speaker 2: media and certainly having our own firestorm of stories being 377 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 2: written about us that weren't true at all, once that 378 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 2: train leaves the station, it's almost impossible to stop it. 379 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 2: So a lot of folks believe your divorce with Teresa 380 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 2: was because of your cancer diagnosis. There's a lot of 381 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 2: finger pointing. Can you clear up? And I know you 382 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 2: do in the book, but for the listeners right now, 383 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,360 Speaker 2: and the details are there and they're fascinating. Why did 384 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 2: you and Teresa get divorced? 385 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 3: Well, when real life hit us and on the show, 386 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:31,439 Speaker 3: you know, she had mentioned in that last dinner before 387 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 3: the Fantasy Suites that when she found the right guy, 388 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 3: she was ready to quit her job. That really changed 389 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 3: my thinking about her because before that I had always 390 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 3: wondered about that particular factor because I wanted to travel 391 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 3: and I wanted to adventure, and I knew that I 392 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 3: was getting to the later parts of the fourth quarter 393 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 3: of my life, and I wanted to capture a lot 394 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,120 Speaker 3: of the things that I was never able to do. 395 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 3: And so then after the show was over and we 396 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 3: get into our conversations about marriage and what's going to happen, 397 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 3: and she continued she would continue to go back to 398 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 3: the statement that I want to work for another year now. 399 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 3: To a guy twenty five years old, another year may 400 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 3: not seem like march to a guy like seventy five. Again, 401 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 3: I gotta go TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. What percentage of my 402 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 3: remaining years is another year? And so that became a 403 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:27,440 Speaker 3: real point of contention. We worked on where we could 404 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 3: possibly live, and she was pretty outspoken about not liking 405 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 3: the Midwest and Indiana at all, and quite honestly, I 406 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 3: wasn't a big fan of New Jersey. I thought it 407 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 3: was a great place to go and spend some time, 408 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 3: but I didn't want to be a personal or permanent 409 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 3: person for there. 410 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 5: And you're not alone. 411 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 1: We get it's New Jersey. I love you New Jersey, 412 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: but it's not the first time we've heard. 413 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 5: Something like that. 414 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 3: So that's that was really where it began is that 415 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 3: I looked at the things that I had expected not happening, 416 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 3: and that ven diagram, that ven diagram has no overlap. Okay, 417 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,719 Speaker 3: she's either working or she's able to travel, and it 418 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 3: didn't happen. 419 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 5: That was just the beginning. 420 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I just made me think about my dad, 421 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 1: who's been talking about retiring for the past ten years. 422 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to retire, and literally it has been a 423 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: decade and he is not getting any younger. He's seventy eight. 424 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 1: Did you think it was possible? Again, we're talking about 425 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:25,880 Speaker 1: one year. Some people might hear that and say, well, 426 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: you can't handle a year if you love her, blah 427 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 1: blah blah. Was that the concern? It sounds like that 428 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: was the jumping off point to many other issues. 429 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 3: It was. It was, quite honestly, And you know, you 430 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 3: look at some of the things that you value, and 431 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 3: I guess my definition of intimacy and the sharing of 432 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 3: feelings and the sharing of planning and the joy of 433 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 3: food and all these things were absent. And it's like, 434 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 3: so when you crystallize one point and you start thinking 435 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 3: about all these other things that don't quite work. To me, 436 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 3: I was led to an inevitable conclusion of how that 437 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 3: was going to play out. 438 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: I was about to ask you to give some advice 439 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: to other people out there who, look, you had to 440 00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 1: make a pretty brave choice, one to get married and 441 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: then to get to think that I can still This 442 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 1: isn't what I should be doing, even at this age, 443 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 1: and I don't have to settle. There are a lot 444 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: of folks in their thirties, hell late twenties, forties, been 445 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: in marriages for a long time, who have this feeling 446 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: there's nothing else out there for me. I need to 447 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: stay here. I'm embarrassed to do this. What would you 448 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: say to those people? A lot of them we have 449 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: in this core audience here. I'm not encouraging people to 450 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 1: go run out and leave your marriage. I'm not saying that. 451 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: But there are some people who are in positions like 452 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: you were, who don't take what many would see as 453 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: a brave and courageous step to get out of something 454 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: so that you could have a better, fulfilling, happy life. 455 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,679 Speaker 5: What do you say to those people facing that kind 456 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:58,200 Speaker 5: of challenge. 457 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:02,719 Speaker 3: So that's a really, really good observation. I think the 458 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 3: whole setup that you gave that question is really on point. 459 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 3: When you commit yourself to a relationship and Lant is 460 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 3: sitting right here and it's like, it's so great to 461 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 3: work on that relationship and it's rewarding and fulfilling, but 462 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 3: they're not all going to be good days, and there's 463 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 3: going to be days where you have to say, I 464 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 3: got to work on this. You know, we've found an 465 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,399 Speaker 3: area we need to resolve a conflict or friction. And 466 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 3: if you've done all that work and you have to 467 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 3: do it over and over and over again, all of 468 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 3: a sudden, you got to go. Life is supposed to 469 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 3: be joyful. I mean, really, I believe that life is 470 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 3: supposed to be joyful. We always have to pay our dues, 471 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 3: we have to work, we have to do the things 472 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 3: that are necessary. But we find joy in our kids, 473 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 3: in our relationships and all the things we do, our activities. 474 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 3: And if you're not finding joy, you need to change 475 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 3: something thing. And if you look at yourself and you go, 476 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 3: you know what, I'm pretty happy with who I am. 477 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 3: I don't think I need to do the changing. I 478 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,639 Speaker 3: think my environment or my circumstances is what needs to 479 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:18,879 Speaker 3: be changed. Do the right thing, the right do the 480 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 3: courageous thing. And once you decide, don't freaking drag your feet. 481 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 3: That's That's one of the things that I feel strongly 482 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 3: about is when you know you've made the right decision, 483 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 3: follow through on it. 484 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: Wow, that is really from a personal standpoint, that is 485 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,640 Speaker 1: wonderful to hear. We talk a lot about relationships here. 486 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: We dealt with a lot in our own relationships. Look, 487 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 1: we got four divorces between the two of us sitting here, 488 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: and so to hear that is encouraging and we will 489 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,640 Speaker 1: take every time we come in here robes these podcasts 490 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: turn into something else. We have one plan to talk 491 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,120 Speaker 1: about a book, and all of a sudden we have 492 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: a therapy session and we walk out of here better 493 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 1: people than we were when we walked in. So personally, 494 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: thank you, we really appreciate it. 495 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 2: And it's your willingness to share your story and to 496 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 2: be vulnerable and to be transparent that really does help 497 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 2: other people who are on similar or adjacent paths, who 498 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 2: feel shame or feel like they can't do what they 499 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 2: want to do, or don't feel empowered to see and 500 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 2: hear your story matters. 501 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 1: Oh and we are just getting started with mister Turner. 502 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: We got so much more to get into with him 503 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 1: that you know what, we thought. We'd split this up 504 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,479 Speaker 1: into two conversations, so please make sure you tune in. 505 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: We will be posting another part two of our conversation 506 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: with mister Gary Turner