Speaker 1: Make sure you're telling them to watch out of Florida, Milor.
Speaker 2: The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and
Speaker 2: all of Flourida.
Speaker 1: Yes, you are a donkey.
Speaker 3: A Florida man attapped an ATM for a very strange reason.
Speaker 1: It gave him too much money. Florida man is arrested
Speaker 1: after that wine stay. He rigged the door to his
Speaker 1: home in an attempt to electric hit his presnant lights.
Speaker 1: Police arrested in Orlando man were talking at from.
Speaker 2: Ladas the Breakfast Club, bitch you Donkey of the day
Speaker 2: with Charlam Payne, the guy.
Speaker 1: I don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all liket.
Speaker 2: Before we do Donkey today, I want to tell y'all
Speaker 2: too that first of all, dropping a clues box for
Speaker 2: l Coja and.
Speaker 1: The roots right absolutely out.
Speaker 2: That interview will be up on YouTube and it's how
Speaker 2: long is it? Iur in thirty hour and thirty minutes.
Speaker 2: So yeah, great conversation. Yes, Donkey today for Wednesday, August
Speaker 2: nine goes.
Speaker 1: To Derek Porter.
Speaker 2: Now Derek is a Georgia man, but this incident happened
Speaker 2: in Panama City Beach, Florida. So it's clearly something in
Speaker 2: the water in Florida. You spend too much time there,
Speaker 2: you get hit with that Florida fool gene. Now what
Speaker 2: does younkle y'all always say about the great state of Florida.
Speaker 2: The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and
Speaker 2: all of Florida, and today is no exception. Okay, Derek Porter,
Speaker 2: you are a Florida man today. Now let me start
Speaker 2: with the headline courtesy of news Channel eight Florida, because
Speaker 2: I love the headlines when they come from Florida. Okay,
Speaker 2: when this Florida foolishness, all the headlines be amazing.
Speaker 1: Okay, first off, the headline reads Florida.
Speaker 2: Then it says man breaks into Florida church, baptizes himself
Speaker 2: before stealing money.
Speaker 1: Let's go to news channel wait for the report.
Speaker 3: Police mid morning man not ended today with a Georgia
Speaker 3: man in custody bake On. The Sheriff's deputies arrested Derek
Speaker 3: Porter on burglary, criminal misship, and several drug charges. I
Speaker 3: said that Porter broke into the Emerald Beach Church of
Speaker 3: God on alf Coleman and Panama City Beach this morning.
Speaker 3: He allegedly used a cinder block to smash your window,
Speaker 3: which a larder of the church employee who fled authority
Speaker 3: said that Porter calls about eight thousand dollars a damage,
Speaker 3: took some electronic equipment and the church money bag.
Speaker 1: Depaniese.
Speaker 3: Kannamut City Beach police canine, you just descended on the
Speaker 3: church and arrested border. They say he had mathem and paraphernalia.
Speaker 3: Porter supposedly claimed that he could not remember what happened
Speaker 3: inside of the church, at least not most of it,
Speaker 3: but he did say he remembered baptizing himself in the
Speaker 3: church's baptism pool, and he claimed something was holding his
Speaker 3: head under the water. Porter was already free on bond
Speaker 3: for a burglary in Georgia.
Speaker 1: There's so much wrong with this.
Speaker 2: First of all, using to send the block to break
Speaker 2: the church's windows, to break into the church. Now, I know,
Speaker 2: Scripture says that God does not live in houses made
Speaker 2: by human hands, so I'm not gonna say the church
Speaker 2: is God's house. But it is a place of positivity
Speaker 2: for the most part, a place with people congregate in worship,
Speaker 2: a place where people go to seek forgiveness and salvation.
Speaker 2: To break the church's windows may not send you to hell,
Speaker 2: but damn it, it shaw not creating.
Speaker 1: Positive energy in your life either.
Speaker 2: This sounds like this brother watched First Sunday with Ice
Speaker 2: Cuban Tracy Morgan one too many times. All Right, the
Speaker 2: church is the place where you go to learn about
Speaker 2: the most forgiving entity of ever God. Okay, keyword is
Speaker 2: for giving, all right. In Derek's mind, he looked at
Speaker 2: the church to be responsible for giving him money. All Right, Listen,
Speaker 2: we know every church collects tithes and offerings and of
Speaker 2: course the building fund that don't really be building anything.
Speaker 2: But never did we ever think to rob the church?
Speaker 2: Have we ever thought about taking back our twenty dollars?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying that we put in a
Speaker 2: collection Playton, you know, putting in a five or a
Speaker 2: couple ones instead. Yes, Okay, every Sunday we think about
Speaker 2: that when you're given your offering. But you really pushing
Speaker 2: God's forgiveness when you take the criminal actions in the church.
Speaker 1: Now, let's keep in mind.
Speaker 2: That police said they found meth and drug paraphernilia on Derek,
Speaker 2: so he was probably high out of his mind and
Speaker 2: when he tells police that he could not remember what
Speaker 2: happened during various moments inside the church. It's because he
Speaker 2: was high, all right, But he does remember baptizing himself
Speaker 2: in the church's baptistory pool.
Speaker 1: It's safe to say he was high out of his
Speaker 1: mind if that's what he thinks.
Speaker 2: Okay, See porter claims something was holding his head down
Speaker 2: under the water while letting the pool. Derek, let me
Speaker 2: be the first to tell you that you were experiencing
Speaker 2: a meth induced psychosis. All right, hallucination. You weren't being baptized.
Speaker 2: You were swimming, all right. You took a lap or
Speaker 2: two in the church's pool. Now, can you baptize yourself?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: All right. It's not the pattern laid out in the Bible,
Speaker 2: nor is it the recommended method of being baptized. However,
Speaker 2: if you truly understand the purpose of water baptism that
Speaker 2: is revealed and the word of.
Speaker 1: God, okay, you can do it, all right.
Speaker 2: And if you have no one who was able to
Speaker 2: baptize you at the time, then of course you might
Speaker 2: do it yourself. But don't listen to me, okay, because
Speaker 2: there's not a Jakes or robertson my name. So I
Speaker 2: could be totally wrong, but I don't think breaking into
Speaker 2: a church being high off meth if the right environment
Speaker 2: are setting for a baptism.
Speaker 1: Now, let me tell you something else.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you where else this man went wrong
Speaker 2: and why he's truly getting donke here to day to day.
Speaker 1: You're broken to the church. Okay, send the block to
Speaker 1: the window. Bang. He cost eight thousand dollars worth of
Speaker 1: damage to the church.
Speaker 2: Then you stole all the electronics, TV's computers, and the
Speaker 2: church's money bag. That's why you're being charged with burglary
Speaker 2: of an occupied instructure. Is the thing your order was off,
Speaker 2: my brother, Okay, you're broken to the church and baptize
Speaker 2: yourself first.
Speaker 1: And then committed all these sins.
Speaker 2: If you was gonna do it, you should have broken
Speaker 2: to the church, stole what you wanted to steal, and
Speaker 2: save the baptism for last, because the whole point of
Speaker 2: baptism is to wash it where your sins correct. What
Speaker 2: you did is the equivalent of taking a shower and
Speaker 2: then doing a number two. Okay, you are a different
Speaker 2: type of human, basically a psychopath.
Speaker 1: If you shower, then do a number two on purpose. Okay,
Speaker 1: I understand.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you know happens, all right, but nobody purposely takes
Speaker 2: the shower and then does the number two, Just like
Speaker 2: nobody walks into a church, gets baptized and then sins
Speaker 2: on purpose. You might sin after you get baptized, but
Speaker 2: not on purpose, like you have to pick one, Derek.
Speaker 2: All right, if you're gonna break into a church and steal,
Speaker 2: you have to get baptized at a later date, but
Speaker 2: your damn show it on. Baptize yourself first and then sin.
Speaker 2: Please give Derek Porter the sweet signs and the Hamilton's.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you are the day, the doge ah the day. Ye.
Speaker 2: Now, I can't prove any of this, but but I
Speaker 2: feel like e j Envy showers and then takes the
Speaker 2: number two on purpose.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Ashley? That is that what you're
Speaker 1: thinking about? Why?
Speaker 2: Because the way you looked when I said it, No, yes,
Speaker 2: when I said it, you looked.
Speaker 1: Like he was unfazed. What's wrong with that? No, that's
Speaker 1: not not true at all. But the way you just
Speaker 1: asked that question, it seems like you just answer. Won't
Speaker 1: you just answer the question? What if I poop my shower,
Speaker 1: do you shower and then poop on purpose though, No, okay,
Speaker 1: just you are a liar, and you a liar. That's
Speaker 1: not true. Okay, when I pop my shower, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm not judging. Why are you all on my butt?
Speaker 1: I'm not not, nor do I want to be. Why
Speaker 1: you're asking? B E T will see you guys tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Piece BT Donkey today is brought to you by.
Speaker 2: The law office of Michael s. Lammisoft. Don't be a donkey.
Speaker 2: Dot pound two fifty on your cell and say the bull.
Speaker 2: If you've been hurt in a construction accident, that's pound
Speaker 2: two five ozo from your cell and say the bull.