Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress.
Speaker 2: We're about to witness a live podcast recording of Work
Speaker 2: in Progress with Sophia Bush. I know we have some
Speaker 2: Sofia Bush fans in the house.
Speaker 1: She is that girl.
Speaker 2: She is an activist, an actress, an entrepreneur, a storyteller.
Speaker 2: She stole our hearts in One Tree Hill and since
Speaker 2: then she's done what so few have the courage to do.
Speaker 2: She used her platform to advocate for social justice, for
Speaker 2: women's rights, for civic engagement. Her podcast, Work in Progress
Speaker 2: is on my queue every week and she explores the messy,
Speaker 2: meaningful journeys of people who inspire her. Okay, we have
Speaker 2: a major surprise guest. I'm excited I get to introduce her.
Speaker 2: It is Bozama Saint John.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: Bosama is the definition of if you want it, go
Speaker 2: get it. From Pepsi to Apple, to Uber to Netflix,
Speaker 2: she hasn't just shaped.
Speaker 1: Brands, She's shaped culture.
Speaker 2: Okay, now she's rewriting the playbook again with her new company,
Speaker 2: Eve by Boz. It's a hair care line with products
Speaker 2: manufactured entirely in Ghana, where she was born. So because
Speaker 2: boz doesn't do anything halfway, the hair is amazing.
Speaker 1: Let's welcome these ladies with the energy they deserved.
Speaker 2: Sophia Bosh Bosama, Saint.
Speaker 1: John, Hello, hello everyone. We were we were just watching
Speaker 1: how wonderful this is and organized, and Jamielle called that
Speaker 1: nice woman up to share about her company, and I
Speaker 1: looked at Bo's and I was like, see when people
Speaker 1: ask me, oh, do you really think things would be
Speaker 1: so amazing if the women were in charge? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: it would be like this all the time.
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 4: And then we could also wear sports and middrift showing suits.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, you know, because we'd be
Speaker 4: in charge. Thank you, I know, yeah, tell somebody, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: okute guys.
Speaker 1: I have to say I'm so excited to be back
Speaker 1: here with all of you. I do feel like women
Speaker 1: gathering is very important in healing right now. So thank
Speaker 1: you for having us, Thank you for coming. And I
Speaker 1: have to say I met this amazing woman almost ten
Speaker 1: years ago.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: We were at a conference shocker for anyone who knows me.
Speaker 1: You you know, I love a nerd event, and I
Speaker 1: was so struck by like one of the most powerful
Speaker 1: women in business. Also just being so cool. We like,
Speaker 1: suddenly there was dinner, there were drinks, things were happening.
Speaker 1: We were talking about our lives and I was like,
Speaker 1: aren't you like in charge of Netflix, aren't you? I
Speaker 1: feel like you're really busy and you manage to do
Speaker 1: so much, whether it's business, being the most amazing mom.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe your daughter's taller than me. Now this
Speaker 1: is really weird. Everything you do, you do is such heart,
Speaker 1: and you manage to make people feel like they are
Speaker 1: the center of your attention, and your attention is wanted
Speaker 1: by everyone. So how'd you do it? Give us the
Speaker 1: inside baseball please?
Speaker 4: Nice of you and also than ten years. Wow, that's
Speaker 4: crazy since we're only twenty five. That's true exactly. We've
Speaker 4: been aged today.
Speaker 3: But you know what I think at the center of it,
Speaker 3: I really love people.
Speaker 4: And I know that probably sounds corny and maybe you
Speaker 4: know what, but I love people.
Speaker 3: Now that doesn't mean that I'm an extrovert. You know.
Speaker 4: I don't do well like just going into a room
Speaker 4: and then walking around and saying hi to everybody that's
Speaker 4: not me.
Speaker 3: But I am deeply curious about people.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like I am that person that will be sitting
Speaker 4: in the airport and you're hustling about somebody else's conversation.
Speaker 4: Now you know, I'm not calling eaveydrop. I'm just calling
Speaker 4: you're hustling, you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean. But I'm just curious.
Speaker 4: And I think for me, it's part of why I
Speaker 4: do the work that I do, because as a marketer
Speaker 4: and as a business person, I have to deeply understand
Speaker 4: what's happening in culture, what people are thinking about, what
Speaker 4: they love, what they like in order to do my
Speaker 4: job well. And that has also gone into my personal
Speaker 4: life because I deeply want to understand people's stories and
Speaker 4: why they tick the way they tick. And so yes,
Speaker 4: when I met you, I'm like, oh, tell me more, Sophia,
Speaker 4: you know, and I'm paying attention and I'm engaged and
Speaker 4: i want to know you more. And so I think
Speaker 4: for me, it's like and for all of us, I
Speaker 4: think if we led from a place of curiosity, it's
Speaker 4: not just about like women making the world better, but
Speaker 4: if we let it from a place of curiosity, the
Speaker 4: world would be better because we would want to know
Speaker 4: about other people. We wouldn't make assumptions about their belief
Speaker 4: systems or how they behave.
Speaker 3: Or their rationale.
Speaker 4: We would actually ask and then connect because we probably
Speaker 4: have some commonalities once we understand what people's differences are.
Speaker 1: Which I think is especially important these days. You know,
Speaker 1: the Internet is such a gift in terms of connection,
Speaker 1: but the more it's algorithmically programmed, the more you're only
Speaker 1: met with what you already think. So the ability to
Speaker 1: be curious about people, where they come from, how they live,
Speaker 1: what's important to them, I think is something we need
Speaker 1: now before we jump into all the amazing things you're doing.
Speaker 1: I love on the show to go backwards with people because,
Speaker 1: like everyone knows her resume right, anyone I get to interview,
Speaker 1: people usually know what you have going on now. But
Speaker 1: I like to ask this question. I'm really curious for you,
Speaker 1: especially because you moved around so much as a kid.
Speaker 1: If you could like fold space time, yes, and we
Speaker 1: could hang out with bows as a ten year old
Speaker 1: girl up here on the stage with us, paint me
Speaker 1: a picture of her life and ponder if you would
Speaker 1: see the woman you are today in her Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh that's very interesting.
Speaker 4: Okay, So at ten, at ten, we were living in
Speaker 4: Kenya in Nairobi. My parents are Ghanian and we moved
Speaker 4: around a lot because my dad loves to do that.
Speaker 4: He's a nomad and an academic and you know, wants
Speaker 4: to ponder all kind of world and human politics. But
Speaker 4: at ten, I was already very curious about the world
Speaker 4: and people. And because for anyone who has ever you know,
Speaker 4: as a child, maybe even as an adult, where you're
Speaker 4: plucked from one place that you're very familiar with and
Speaker 4: put in another place, all you want to do is
Speaker 4: fit in, you know, all you want to do is
Speaker 4: get along.
Speaker 3: Now, I recognize that most people think Africa is just
Speaker 3: like one country.
Speaker 4: However, there are many countries in it, and those countries
Speaker 4: have lots of different types of cultures and belief systems.
Speaker 4: And so for me it was very disjointing because at ten.
Speaker 3: And you remember what you were like, right, I mean
Speaker 3: I don't know, I.
Speaker 4: Was gangly and not really I didn't know what was
Speaker 4: going on, you know, But the things that I needed
Speaker 4: to do in order to connect with my classmates and
Speaker 4: even just a larger culture was back to the curiosity
Speaker 4: of things, you know, understanding It's like, well, what do
Speaker 4: people love? What were they thinking? You know, It's like
Speaker 4: what was the most popular music? Like what were the
Speaker 4: dance steps, you know, the stuff that is like makes
Speaker 4: culture but then makes you also connect with people, and
Speaker 4: it was even more pronounced.
Speaker 3: I'll jump ahead two years because at.
Speaker 4: Twelve, we immigrated from Ghana to Colgo Springs, Colorado, and
Speaker 4: that was an even bigger jump. And so like for me,
Speaker 4: it's like, look, I now would look back and I
Speaker 4: don't know that the girl then would recognize me now.
Speaker 4: But I am so thankful for the experiences at that
Speaker 4: age because it really does make me who I am.
Speaker 4: Like I feel like, look across cultures and cross countries
Speaker 4: and language and belief systems, that there's so much more
Speaker 4: commonality than we actually think there is.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and when I think about your career, the
Speaker 1: massive companies that you've walked into one after another, each
Speaker 1: has a culture, each has a place, like the ability
Speaker 1: to navigate culture shock and to listen and look for
Speaker 1: you know, patterns with people that you learned as a
Speaker 1: kid probably served you incredible in your career.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: Well, so yeah, that's like the number one question I
Speaker 4: get when I talk about like the different companies I've
Speaker 4: worked for, right, because it's like mostly in the C
Speaker 4: suite it's white men, you know, almost entirely. Oh you
Speaker 4: don't say girl. And then I walk in and it's
Speaker 4: very different. It's like one of these things is not
Speaker 4: like the other, you know. But it's interesting to me
Speaker 4: because you know, when I just said about like when
Speaker 4: we were ten or twelve, you just wanted to like
Speaker 4: fit in, you know, you don't want to be different
Speaker 4: from anybody. But the real beauty of our unique experiences
Speaker 4: isn't the connection so that we can assum it's not
Speaker 4: the connection so that you can just be like everybody else.
Speaker 4: Is the connection so that you can actually be or
Speaker 4: a unique individual person and be accepted because people understand it,
Speaker 4: you don't. And so, yes, I walked into Uber when
Speaker 4: it was like on fire, and Travis Kalanik, the founder
Speaker 4: and CEO, got fired two days after I got there,
Speaker 4: And I'm sitting here as the chief brand officer, like
Speaker 4: when the hell am I supposed to do now? And
Speaker 4: what are all these people? And they don't even believe
Speaker 4: what I have to say? And I had to bring
Speaker 4: my own experiences into it. And so the idea that
Speaker 4: we as individuals don't have power based on who we
Speaker 4: actually are is a lie. Yeah, And I take it
Speaker 4: even back to like science, right, I've given this example
Speaker 4: many times, but I'm like, look, just because I'm a
Speaker 4: marketer and I wear a short skirts does not mean
Speaker 4: I don't know science. Right now, physics, you understand matter
Speaker 4: and matter can be anything, can be this room, it
Speaker 4: can be a pool.
Speaker 1: Of woman after my own heart, I must say.
Speaker 4: Matter is amazing. Okay, yes, So matter is made up
Speaker 4: of molecules. So in any situation, it's a bunch of
Speaker 4: molecules together that make a matter. You remove one molecule
Speaker 4: and the whole matter changes. You add another molecule and
Speaker 4: the whole matter changes. That is actual science. And so
Speaker 4: if we take this room, for instance, and we remove
Speaker 4: one person, we have now dynamically changed. And if you
Speaker 4: take that into the boardroom I enter, and the whole
Speaker 4: matter changes. You know, it's like my experience is my understanding.
Speaker 4: It's like me as a first generation American, as someone
Speaker 4: who speaks two languages, as a.
Speaker 3: Widow, as a mother of an amazing girl.
Speaker 4: You know, like though, all those experiences are truly important
Speaker 4: in changing the matter of the place that you are.
Speaker 4: And that's why even at any level in which you're at,
Speaker 4: whether you're at a company or you're in.
Speaker 3: An organization or community.
Speaker 4: Like wherever you are, your molecule truly matters, and so
Speaker 4: show up as your full self, as the person who
Speaker 4: can impact the area and the situation, because once you leave,
Speaker 4: your fingerprints to still be on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, and I think it's so important, especially now when
Speaker 1: we see a lot of frankly illogical attacks on diversity,
Speaker 1: on equity, on inclusion. It's like, your experiences make a
Speaker 1: place better. Yes, the things you learned losing your husband
Speaker 1: give you insight into what people are experiencing, just like
Speaker 1: the things that you've learned running companies, just like being
Speaker 1: a mom. The more diversity of experience that actually comes
Speaker 1: into a room, the richer the thing you build is.
Speaker 1: And then you don't find which I know you've heard
Speaker 1: the phrase, and I've heard the phrase because you know,
Speaker 1: we were around for the birth of some of these
Speaker 1: big internet companies. You hear CEOs and CTOs talk about how, oh,
Speaker 1: you know they had to reverse engineer to fill in
Speaker 1: all these holes because when they were building the thing,
Speaker 1: they didn't know it was going to have to do
Speaker 1: fill in the blank. So the blanks are like it's
Speaker 1: like craters and things fall through the cracks, and there
Speaker 1: would be less of them if more experiences, if more
Speaker 1: perspectives had been there from the beginning, not the other
Speaker 1: way around.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: So the lie that who you are needs to change
Speaker 1: be smaller is you know, woke?
Speaker 3: Yes, it's all upside.
Speaker 4: Down exactly what, because like we're trying to put definitions
Speaker 4: on just common sense, you know, I'm like, I just
Speaker 4: don't even understand how we're even still having this conversation,
Speaker 4: you know, because the truth of the matter is that
Speaker 4: go back to the curiosity of things.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like, if you don't have a good understanding of
Speaker 4: what somebody in a different situation from you is experiencing,
Speaker 4: then how can you actually make great decisions for the
Speaker 4: business or the company? Right, Yes, it's not possible, and
Speaker 4: my singular experience is not enough, and so therefore I
Speaker 4: do need to surround myself with people who have different
Speaker 4: ways of being, you know, who have different belief systems.
Speaker 3: And the challenge that.
Speaker 4: I find is that somehow we have been lied to
Speaker 4: to think that if somebody has a different opinion, different
Speaker 4: belief system, that you must convert them to your own
Speaker 4: belief and that is the only way to move forward.
Speaker 3: It is not.
Speaker 4: It's like, look, the whole world is made up of
Speaker 4: so many interesting people. It really comes down to the
Speaker 4: love of people and the love of curiosity. It's like,
Speaker 4: if you really want to get to know somebody better,
Speaker 4: it's like, look, they can have different belief systems than you,
Speaker 4: and you can still respect them and they can respect you.
Speaker 4: And so the idea of DEI or any of these
Speaker 4: other reverse engineering tactics, I'm like, that's all stupid because
Speaker 4: it's just common sense and it's the way that we
Speaker 4: should be as human beings. Like, forget all the math
Speaker 4: that you need to do in order to check the
Speaker 4: boxes for the company. It's like, what are you doing
Speaker 4: as a human And again, sometimes we want to point
Speaker 4: at leadership and say, oh, well they have created this,
Speaker 4: or they have not done that, or they need to
Speaker 4: create a policy.
Speaker 3: And I'm always like, but what are you doing? What
Speaker 3: are you doing in your seat from where you are?
Speaker 4: You know, you're not powerless, and so if your belief
Speaker 4: system doesn't change and you don't behave in the way
Speaker 4: in which is common sense, then we can't expect leadership
Speaker 4: to have any difference. So I don't care what the
Speaker 4: administration is doing at this point in time.
Speaker 3: Well, I do care.
Speaker 4: But at the same time, yeah, I think that we
Speaker 4: have so much power and for some reason we don't
Speaker 4: believe that we do.
Speaker 3: And it's not about.
Speaker 4: Necessarily thinking like, oh, well, what can one person do
Speaker 4: to change the world. It's like, no, but what are
Speaker 4: you doing in your neighborhood, you know, what are you
Speaker 4: doing in the school where your kids go, What are
Speaker 4: you doing in the boardroom that you're in, what are
Speaker 4: you doing in the cubicle next to you that you know?
Speaker 4: Can you can actually connect with somebody? So I don't
Speaker 4: think that we're powerless. And I don't believe that whatever
Speaker 4: policies are metted down about DEI or any other kind
Speaker 4: of diverse conversation, that we should then abandon ship and
Speaker 4: think that like we need to all just stick in
Speaker 4: our individual roles and only the people who agree.
Speaker 3: With us are the ones who are right. That cannot
Speaker 3: be the case.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get to the end of the day no
Speaker 1: matter what. Yes, the time is going to pass, no
Speaker 1: matter what. So yes, we will hold power to account. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also what have you done in your world? In
Speaker 1: your world at the end of your day. That's correct,
Speaker 1: because I think we forget that it's important to pay
Speaker 1: attention to the big picture, but it's also important to
Speaker 1: remember you can affect what's around you in every moment
Speaker 1: of your life.
Speaker 3: That's correct.
Speaker 4: Like you know what, Sometimes people say like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: you know what, Like I will affect change once I
Speaker 4: get into the C suite or once I get into
Speaker 4: the corner office and I have power, And I'm like,
Speaker 4: let me tell you a big secret.
Speaker 3: Is everybody ready for this one? However you are.
Speaker 4: Behaving now is how you'll be when you're in the
Speaker 4: C suite, And it gets harder, not easier, because then
Speaker 4: the spotlight is really on and people are staring at you,
Speaker 4: and the decisions you make they will talk about, they'll
Speaker 4: be angry about. And if you don't have the the
Speaker 4: practice and it's really practice of again and again and
Speaker 4: again making these choices and you know, fighting for what
Speaker 4: is right, then you will not make it.
Speaker 3: When you're in the c suite.
Speaker 4: You'll go along and you'll just do the thing that
Speaker 4: everybody else tells you to do, and you won't affect change.
Speaker 4: And so that's why I strongly advocate that we stop
Speaker 4: looking at leadership for the answers. You know that for us,
Speaker 4: we are we truly do have the power, and it
Speaker 4: really is about the individual, the mono and mono conversation
Speaker 4: that we're having which actually ends up changing the entire policy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be back in just a minute, but here's
Speaker 1: a word from our sponsors. Well, what I like about
Speaker 1: what you're talking about because it's really my two favorite things.
Speaker 1: You're talking about the emotional, that empathetic and you're talking
Speaker 1: about science. And the way I think about it is
Speaker 1: like we have to manifest scientifically, Like if we want
Speaker 1: to put attention on what we would like to be
Speaker 1: true in our lives, then we have to be the
Speaker 1: leaders we don't think we have, right, we have to
Speaker 1: be the friends we wish we'd had when we had
Speaker 1: gone through a loss. Yes, we have to be the
Speaker 1: neighbors that you would want to have in a disaster.
Speaker 1: I mean, shout out to every single person here who's
Speaker 1: also an Angelino like us, because watching the way that
Speaker 1: our city showed up in January, when you know, from
Speaker 1: the west side to the east side there was such
Speaker 1: horrible devastation, I was like, listen, one of the things
Speaker 1: I love about La is no matter how pissed people
Speaker 1: in this neighborhood might be about the new restaurant in
Speaker 1: that neighborhood, the minute something goes down, everybody's team la.
Speaker 1: And I think it's a It was a really important
Speaker 1: reminder for me at the top of the year, knowing
Speaker 1: what was happening, you know, what was set to begin
Speaker 1: on inauguration Day, I was like, oh, right, look what
Speaker 1: our communities can do irrespective of this other mess. And
Speaker 1: I think it's why everyone who knows you, everyone who
Speaker 1: follows you online, wants to be in your energy, because
Speaker 1: you remind people how powerful they are. Look every day.
Speaker 4: I wrongly believe that it's like, you know what, I
Speaker 4: remember getting on a zoom a meeting the day after inauguration.
Speaker 4: N Actually, I'm sorry. It wasn't the day after inauguration.
Speaker 4: It was the day after the election. The results had
Speaker 4: come in, of course, and lots of people took the
Speaker 4: day off, right, But I was in a meeting. I
Speaker 4: tell you something, and this is not like I don't
Speaker 4: mean anything by it besides telling you the truth, which
Speaker 4: is as I was actually very energized, you.
Speaker 3: Know, Like I woke up that morning I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I see it's my turn. I've got to do something,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Like, I came into meetings that day, and the meetings
Speaker 4: I was in were about building my business.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: So the business I've created is a hair company, hair
Speaker 4: and beauty company.
Speaker 3: It's called Eve by Bose.
Speaker 4: It's centered on black women and women of color for
Speaker 4: hair extensions and hair care. And the reason why I
Speaker 4: felt so drawn to it was at one, I love hair, Okay,
Speaker 4: I love bundles. Okay, what are we even doing? But
Speaker 4: it's incredible to me that eighty percent of the consumer
Speaker 4: base of hair extensions are black women or women of color,
Speaker 4: but they're not centered in the conversation. The innovation is
Speaker 4: not about them, The texture is not about them.
Speaker 3: You can go on Google.
Speaker 4: Or wherever else and see fourteen million videos of how
Speaker 4: to manipulate the hair extensions so they match women of
Speaker 4: color or black women's textures. And I was like, well,
Speaker 4: why do we have to do that? First of all,
Speaker 4: I'm sick and tired of doing it. And so I
Speaker 4: went to China, yes by myself, me six foot tall
Speaker 4: and black, to the largest hair show in the world
Speaker 4: in Guangzhou. Day one, I made a mistake I didn't
Speaker 4: have interpreter. That was a problem. Day two I learned
Speaker 4: I came as an interpreter so I could get the
Speaker 4: information because the things I was asking were like, why
Speaker 4: is the texture like this? Why do lace colors only
Speaker 4: come in white? Why are they not brown? Why are
Speaker 4: they not different shades? You see fency out here. They're
Speaker 4: killing the game. Forty shades on air?
Speaker 3: What are we doing?
Speaker 4: And the answers were not that difficult, you know. It
Speaker 4: was a choice that people were making. They were like,
Speaker 4: oh no, it's possible, we just don't do it because
Speaker 4: nobody really asked us to do it. And I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: so let me gather all the information. I'm simplifying a
Speaker 4: lot of things. But it took many months and almost
Speaker 4: eighteen months to build that. I eventually built a factory
Speaker 4: in Ghana where I could then manufacture the product myself,
Speaker 4: with black women and women.
Speaker 3: Of color at the center of it.
Speaker 4: And so the day after inauguration, when I was sitting
Speaker 4: there and everybody else was like, oh no, what is me?
Speaker 3: What are we going to do?
Speaker 4: I was like, we got to move, we have to motivate,
Speaker 4: we have to take the power. Like I don't care
Speaker 4: who's sit in that house, like, we have to do it.
Speaker 4: And so why would I Why would I cry? Why
Speaker 4: would I mourn? When I have the power to do
Speaker 4: something and I am still energized. So every time I
Speaker 4: see a new stupid ass headline, oh Lord have mercy,
Speaker 4: I mean, it annoys me for like three seconds, and
Speaker 4: then it motivates me to.
Speaker 3: Move, because what are we gonna do.
Speaker 4: You know, we're gonna sit around and wait four years
Speaker 4: before we do something about this.
Speaker 3: No, we gotta motivate.
Speaker 4: And so for me, it's like, look, I'm taking every
Speaker 4: opportunity in every room I'm in as the molecule that
Speaker 4: changes matter to make things better for.
Speaker 3: Me and for my community. Yes, and it any night,
Speaker 3: come on you girl.
Speaker 1: It's like I feel like we're all gonna need and
Speaker 1: ironically we'll have it. It'll be on the podcast. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need a recording of this just to be in
Speaker 1: my in my little air pod when I'm having a
Speaker 1: bad day, just walk around getting a Bose pep talk
Speaker 1: in the house. You you you said something a while
Speaker 1: back that I love so much. You said you are
Speaker 1: never intimidated in spaces that you know other people pople
Speaker 1: might not always think you.
Speaker 3: Should be in oh girl. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And when you talk about power, when you talk about motivation,
Speaker 1: when you talk about being inspired to fix all of
Speaker 1: it is really it feels to me like forward motion.
Speaker 1: And so I want to know, is that innate for
Speaker 1: you or do you think that's something you've learned through
Speaker 1: your career, because as I mentioned earlier, the resume is unbelievable,
Speaker 1: from you know, Apple Music to Ubert and Netflix. When
Speaker 1: you think back on some of the first days in
Speaker 1: some of those offices, yes, how do you walk in
Speaker 1: with this kind of confidence?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or is it something you learned in one of those
Speaker 1: places and you've taken with you into rest.
Speaker 3: So it's a combination of things.
Speaker 4: Right again, just back to the science of it all
Speaker 4: and this time will do math. Okay, Yes, So each
Speaker 4: of us that are sitting here, it took two sets
Speaker 4: of DNA in order to create us. Right, you go
Speaker 4: back like twelve generations, and that's four thousand people that
Speaker 4: it took for you individual to sit here. And so
Speaker 4: when I walk into a room, I'm like, oh, there's
Speaker 4: four thousand people coming with me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: That, like, my.
Speaker 4: Individual journey is as important as anyone else's. And I
Speaker 4: realized that that might sound Try it, and it might
Speaker 4: sound like, oh, she's just talking, But it's like if
Speaker 4: you actually believe that, if you truly put it into
Speaker 4: your spirit, there is no room you walk into and
Speaker 4: feel like an imposter. There's no table you sit at
Speaker 4: and think, I don't belong here, because you do, why
Speaker 4: the hell would you be there. I also believe in
Speaker 4: my own destiny, you know, I believe that the steps
Speaker 4: I take are meant to be.
Speaker 3: And the thing is that I also.
Speaker 4: Have this belief about destiny, which is like it's not
Speaker 4: just written and then it happens. It's like your forward motion,
Speaker 4: your steps are actually what then create it and make
Speaker 4: it come true. And so when I'm sitting at a table,
Speaker 4: I am meant to be there. All the things in
Speaker 4: my life have led me to that moment, and so
Speaker 4: I have to show what in the fullness of myself,
Speaker 4: with all the experiences I have, with my ideas, with
Speaker 4: my opinions, and so part of it is innate and
Speaker 4: that I understand math. And then I'm like, Okay, it
Speaker 4: took a lot of people for me to get here,
Speaker 4: and all these experiences for me to be in this room,
Speaker 4: so I'm going to I'm actually going to show up,
Speaker 4: like in the fullness of myself. And then through experience,
Speaker 4: it has really been about urgency for me, you know.
Speaker 4: So I said before that I'm a widow. My husband
Speaker 4: died of cancer in twenty thirteen, so we're coming up
Speaker 4: on twelve years, which is just absolutely incredible to me.
Speaker 4: He died right before his forty fourth birthday, and one
Speaker 4: of the most there's a lot to say about that experience,
Speaker 4: but one of the most life changing moments was at
Speaker 4: his funeral when my daughter and I are standing in
Speaker 4: the receiving line, you know, people are finding out of
Speaker 4: the church and shaking our hands and giving us hugs,
Speaker 4: and people kept saying over and over and over, they
Speaker 4: were like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: He died so young. There was so much left to do.
Speaker 4: And I remember feeling burdened by that thought and afraid
Speaker 4: of that and being like, well, what happens. It was
Speaker 4: like a fear that was in my spirit, like oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, Like what if what if I'm not here
Speaker 4: long enough to do the things I'm supposed to do,
Speaker 4: or if I'm not here long enough to fulfill my destiny,
Speaker 4: like what I'm afraid. But what changed for me was
Speaker 4: the thought of urgency. And urgency isn't necessarily about speed,
Speaker 4: you know. I realized that we're like, oh, we got something,
Speaker 4: we must move fast.
Speaker 3: You know. It's not about speed. Urgency is about intention,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 4: It's about moving with intention, passion yes, and saying that like,
Speaker 4: this is what I want to do right now, and
Speaker 4: therefore nothing's going to stop me from doing it.
Speaker 3: That is urgent.
Speaker 4: And for me, it's like in my life, the way
Speaker 4: that I've been able to overcome that very crippling fear
Speaker 4: of leaving too soon is that I want my entire
Speaker 4: life to feel as big as possible. In my book
Speaker 4: and the epithet, I have a quote by Diane Ackerman
Speaker 4: and i'll paraphrase it. I won't say it exactly, but
Speaker 4: it says, I want to get to my end of
Speaker 4: my life and not just have lived the length of it,
Speaker 4: but to have lived the width of it, which is
Speaker 4: so beautiful, you know, the thought that like, you're going
Speaker 4: to live as wide as possible, and I challenge all
Speaker 4: of us to do that. It's like, what is it
Speaker 4: that you're dreaming of that you're thinking of even in
Speaker 4: the small decisions that you make every single day that
Speaker 4: are true to you, that you're not just living for
Speaker 4: the expectation of other people. I don't care if it's
Speaker 4: your mama, Okay, it's like, are you living for the
Speaker 4: expectation of your own life? Because regardless of what time
Speaker 4: I go, I want people to be like, God, damn, she.
Speaker 3: Lived a big life. Godly, look at what that girl did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: And if I can do that, and if I can
Speaker 4: live urgently with the purpose of trying to accomplish the
Speaker 4: things that I want to accomplish in my life, girl,
Speaker 4: then there's no room I walk into without feeling like
Speaker 4: I belong there and I'm there to get what I'm
Speaker 4: supposed to get.
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that right for all of
Speaker 1: our friends out here. If you have not read the book,
Speaker 1: it's so beautiful. It is called The Urgent Life, My
Speaker 1: Story of Love, Loss and Survival. And I was lucky
Speaker 1: enough a few years ago to moderate one of the
Speaker 1: book talks on it and had to keep myself from
Speaker 1: crying the whole way through. So that's fine. You've been
Speaker 1: so bold not only with joy and power, but with reality.
Speaker 1: With pain, with sharing that story of loss, with talking
Speaker 1: about what it's like to rebuild. And you know you
Speaker 1: mentioned you're coming up on twelve years. Your daughter is
Speaker 1: here again, taller than me. It's fine. It doesn't make
Speaker 1: me feel old at all, ma'am. How do you think
Speaker 1: about it? You know you two are so beautifully close,
Speaker 1: you mom, at the level that you ceemo. Yes, you know,
Speaker 1: and I admire it so much. And while I hate
Speaker 1: that women are so often ask like how do you
Speaker 1: balance at all? Because they never ask the men, I
Speaker 1: don't want to know that. What I want to know
Speaker 1: is with a sixteen year old, now, like, what are
Speaker 1: some of the best lessons from career and motherhood combined?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes, Like will you give us the cheat codes?
Speaker 3: Yes? I will.
Speaker 1: I want a mom like you mom, you know.
Speaker 4: But okay, so this where we all sit up and
Speaker 4: then we get a little closer, right, because I'm going
Speaker 4: to tell you something and sometimes I get in trouble
Speaker 4: for saying it, but I'm going to tell you that
Speaker 4: you are the center of your life. And I recognize
Speaker 4: that that sounds like a simple sentence, but if you
Speaker 4: actually behave that way, it will dynamically change your life.
Speaker 3: Meaning that you are the center of your life.
Speaker 4: Now, Leel, my daughter will tell you that when I
Speaker 4: ask her, or if somebody asking you, who's the most
Speaker 4: important person in your life? And people expect that because
Speaker 4: I'm a mother, I'm gonna be like, oh, my daughter, No,
Speaker 4: I am the most important person in my life.
Speaker 3: And I realized that that's like, it sounds selfish.
Speaker 4: It's like, well, okay, fine, because who else am I
Speaker 4: supposed to be filled with but myself. The truth of
Speaker 4: the matter is that I've said this in another setting
Speaker 4: and it got a lot of attention because I reminded
Speaker 4: people that a lot of us, many of us here,
Speaker 4: you don't have to identify yourself, but many of us
Speaker 4: here are walking around consequences of somebody's unfulfilled dreams. We're
Speaker 4: walking around with burdens of feeling like I've got to
Speaker 4: do this because this person wasn't able to do it,
Speaker 4: or this person sacrifice so that I could sit here.
Speaker 4: And therefore you can't live your own life. You can't
Speaker 4: center yourself. But it is a deeply life changing perspective
Speaker 4: to say I'm at the center and I'm going to
Speaker 4: do the things I promise you. Leyela is a much
Speaker 4: more fulfilled human because I've centered myself, because I am
Speaker 4: happy in my life, because I'm going after the things
Speaker 4: I want to go after, because I'm ambitious. And the
Speaker 4: thing is that she comes along because I respect her.
Speaker 4: And even as early as four years old, when we
Speaker 4: would have the conversation about like, Okay, mommy has to
Speaker 4: go to Coopertino, which we lived in, that we live
Speaker 4: here in LA and so I take a flight to
Speaker 4: go to work and then come back. Therefore, sometimes I'd
Speaker 4: miss the parent teacher, you know, conferences, or I'd miss
Speaker 4: the basketball game she played, or I'd miss the practice.
Speaker 4: But she knows that if she says to me, look,
Speaker 4: this is really important to me and I need you
Speaker 4: to be there, I will be there. But doesn't stop
Speaker 4: me from being completely ambitious in what I do. And
Speaker 4: so my hope is that as she grows and as
Speaker 4: all of us develop, that you center yourself in your
Speaker 4: life because you'll be a much more fulfilled person. And
Speaker 4: therefore you can be a blessing not just to your children,
Speaker 4: to the community that you're in, into the boardrooms that
Speaker 4: you're in, because you'll have the confidence of knowing that
Speaker 4: I'm here because I want to be better. I want
Speaker 4: to be great, And if you center yourself truly, it
Speaker 4: is a revolutionary act, and so we should do that
Speaker 4: more often.
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll be back in just a minute after a
Speaker 1: few words from our favorite sponsors. One of the things
Speaker 1: I think is shifting most for our generation in particular,
Speaker 1: is that we understand if we don't write our own
Speaker 1: permission slips, nobody else is going to do it. And
Speaker 1: when you become you know, a parent, a partner, a
Speaker 1: step parent, whatever version it is, if they don't see
Speaker 1: you write a permission slip for yourself, how are they
Speaker 1: supposed to learn to do it for them?
Speaker 4: So what I'm saying, look, my hope is that Leyelle
Speaker 4: walks into every room that she's in and knows that
Speaker 4: she's the most important person. Now, look, that doesn't mean
Speaker 4: necessarily that you're walking around arrogant and like dismissing everybody's thought.
Speaker 4: But the idea that you walk in self confidently is
Speaker 4: a game changer because how many of us have also
Speaker 4: been the victim of somebody's insecurity? Since I see you, okay,
Speaker 4: it's like everybody in here has, And imagine if that
Speaker 4: person had been confident about their own presence had been
Speaker 4: satisfied in what they're doing in their life, that they
Speaker 4: would not have treated you the way that you're treated.
Speaker 4: And so for me, it's like, look, I'm passing on
Speaker 4: this belief system not because I want to raise an asshole,
Speaker 4: but because I want to make sure that she is
Speaker 4: the most fulfilled person she can be so the world
Speaker 4: can see her for the fullness of herself, and so
Speaker 4: that she can be.
Speaker 3: In every room and be dynamic in it and change it.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the human I want to raise.
Speaker 1: And one of the things I love for us too.
Speaker 1: The lessons I learned from the women in my life
Speaker 1: watching them be incredible parents, watching them do this work
Speaker 1: differently than any of our parents had the tools to do.
Speaker 1: Is not only do I get to see you parent well,
Speaker 1: but I watch you reparent yourselves. I get reparented by
Speaker 1: watching the women in my life parent well. Heal, you know,
Speaker 1: I realize, Oh, I don't need to carry this thing
Speaker 1: that somebody put in my backpack when I was a
Speaker 1: kid that I never went in and dumped in the garbage,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna put this down. Who's even is this?
Speaker 1: And so I think there's a really there's a really
Speaker 1: special moment that can happen for them, the ones who
Speaker 1: come after us. But it goes the other way, and
Speaker 1: it kind of heals us in the versions of us
Speaker 1: before today as well, And it's those are the conversations
Speaker 1: I want to be having with badass women. There are
Speaker 1: parents that I know. I'm like, please stop asking her
Speaker 1: how she schedules her day and ask her like how
Speaker 1: she's putting.
Speaker 4: But that's the whole point is that, like, if you
Speaker 4: are centered in your life and therefore fulfilled, balance doesn't
Speaker 4: become a question. You don't start to wonder like, oh
Speaker 4: I should do this more or do this less, or
Speaker 4: how am I going to accomplish this? And how am
Speaker 4: I going to make sure this person feels comfortable. It's
Speaker 4: like the balance comes because you've censered yourself and therefore
Speaker 4: you know your priorities and you're going to act on those,
Speaker 4: and therefore you're happier. You don't so when people ask, oh,
Speaker 4: how do you do it all, I'm like, because I've
Speaker 4: centered myself and what I want to do, and so
Speaker 4: therefore it's like you have.
Speaker 3: A to do list? Right?
Speaker 4: Most of us do, and girl, you know that sometimes
Speaker 4: you just don't do the things at the bottom. They
Speaker 4: just keep going to the next day and the next
Speaker 4: day and the next day because you don't want to
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: Well, imagine the easiest thing that you've already done at
Speaker 1: the top. So you can start by checking something off.
Speaker 4: Well, here's what I said. Here's the revolutionary thing I said.
Speaker 4: I said, just take it off the list.
Speaker 3: Don't do it. Why do you need to do it?
Speaker 4: If there's something so terrible that you keep putting it off,
Speaker 4: then you need to take it off your list. Actually
Speaker 4: take it off the list, like figure out another way
Speaker 4: for somebody else to do it, Like they say, get
Speaker 4: somebody else do it.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 4: If you can do that, it changes your life dynamically
Speaker 4: because then you're excited about the things. Like my list
Speaker 4: of things that I have to do today are all
Speaker 4: things I actually want to do. And that's how I
Speaker 4: balance because I'm excited about doing that. You know, when
Speaker 4: you don't want to do something, it takes you forever
Speaker 4: to do it. You know, I'm a natural procrastinator. I'll
Speaker 4: oh man, I'll be the one. I won't even look.
Speaker 1: Our whole generation of undiagnosed women with ADHD give me
Speaker 1: a break. Procrastination is my spiritual I'm I'm like, I
Speaker 1: have a deadline. Do you need me to come over
Speaker 1: and color coordinate your closet for you?
Speaker 3: I will look.
Speaker 4: And first of all, we cannot get dressed in fifteen minutes, okay,
Speaker 4: So I don't know why you're sitting on their couch.
Speaker 4: No one that's just supposed to leave him in twenty
Speaker 4: and you're still sitting there, okay, because none of.
Speaker 3: Us can do it. So I don't know why we
Speaker 3: sit around and wait.
Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is that when you're
Speaker 4: really excited about something, you don't even have to like
Speaker 4: think about it. You want to do it right, you
Speaker 4: want to get into it, you want to accomplish a thing.
Speaker 4: And so I'm like, look, if you have a to
Speaker 4: do list and there are things on there that have
Speaker 4: moved so many times that you don't even remember when
Speaker 4: you first put it on your list, get rid of it,
Speaker 4: Like it's really that simple. Find somebody else do it,
Speaker 4: and that way you don't have to worry.
Speaker 1: It's like the anxiety inducing cleanup that comes with closing
Speaker 1: all the open tabs on your computer. Yes, exactly one
Speaker 1: day I was like, what if I just quit Safari,
Speaker 1: I'm not looking at it anyway. You're just gonna be gone.
Speaker 1: And then I'm going to open my computer and go,
Speaker 1: well that looks nice instead of uh oh, there's two
Speaker 1: tabs I just closed, Safari. Click Now that might be
Speaker 1: a lesson from this whole conversation. Close, Safari, you have you.
Speaker 4: That is the lesson today in every capacity, I'm going.
Speaker 1: To title the episode of this podcast. You have a
Speaker 1: permission slip to close your tabs.
Speaker 4: Yes, close your tabs. That's what it is in every
Speaker 4: aspect of But in.
Speaker 1: Your life you keep opening new cool ones. Yes, and
Speaker 1: I mean yes, but you know you you ran every
Speaker 1: every corporate world. Then you took time to write your
Speaker 1: book and then in a move no one expected, you
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, I'll be a real housewife. I was like,
Speaker 1: what I mean? And you're so good? But can I
Speaker 1: ask a question? And I don't mean this to be judgy,
Speaker 1: I just want to like say an observation, because genuinely,
Speaker 1: I was like, isn't that the show where like all
Speaker 1: the women yell at each other, Like Bose is not
Speaker 1: a yeller. She is a cheerleader. She is like a teammate,
Speaker 1: I don't think I get it. So then I decided
Speaker 1: to tune in to watch you, and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: she's changing the vibe of a whole industry. Is that
Speaker 1: a conscious goal for you?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Oh, say more everything, because.
Speaker 4: Again, it just goes back to the idea of being
Speaker 4: a molecule. Right, matter exists, You're right, the understanding of
Speaker 4: what this franchise and how these women behave is a
Speaker 4: known matter.
Speaker 3: But me coming in, I'm my own molecule.
Speaker 4: I do not have to subscribe to the ways in
Speaker 4: which the matter has been because I'm there. I am
Speaker 4: that important, and I wish all of us would believe
Speaker 4: that of ourselves. And so for me, as I contemplated
Speaker 4: what I wanted to do next and how this opportunity
Speaker 4: could be beneficial to me as well as being able
Speaker 4: to put out a new idea or a new concept
Speaker 4: of how women can be, I was like, oh, hell yeah,
Speaker 4: because where are the ones who are self made, who
Speaker 4: get up and go to work, you know, who build
Speaker 4: something themselves. We're the ones who have conflict but understand
Speaker 4: how to resolve them as adults and not yell and
Speaker 4: scream and be ridiculous. We're the ones who support each
Speaker 4: other through the really hard times. Where's the truth about
Speaker 4: the mess of our lives? Where it's like, look, not
Speaker 4: everything is tied up in a bow. And I recognize that, Yes,
Speaker 4: my resume looks the way it looks, and people known
Speaker 4: me for you know what I've done in the business world,
Speaker 4: but you don't know what I'm like at home. And
Speaker 4: so why not open the door so that you can
Speaker 4: see a different way of being? And so for me,
Speaker 4: I feel like there's opportunity for women who have the
Speaker 4: same type of ideal, not necessarily living the same life,
Speaker 4: not necessarily even having the same politics or the same
Speaker 4: religion or the same belief systems, but that we can
Speaker 4: have a more elevated and sophisticated way of entertaining each
Speaker 4: other by actually showing what this kind of elevated experience
Speaker 4: looks like. And the last thing I'll say about that,
Speaker 4: how many of you think Sofia would make a great housewife?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: I mean, it totally makes sense. I wrote her an
Speaker 4: email or a text message in April. I'm telling all
Speaker 4: your business. I wrote her a text messag April. I
Speaker 4: was like, hey, I need to ask you a controversial question.
Speaker 4: She knew what I was going to ask her. She
Speaker 4: never responded.
Speaker 3: I'm telling yesterday.
Speaker 4: When she was like, oh, how did I miss this
Speaker 4: text message in April telling you about housewives?
Speaker 3: That's what I was telling you.
Speaker 1: I meant well to be clear, first of all, I
Speaker 1: am a terrible text her. So I go to text
Speaker 1: her and I'm like, oh my god, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to get to see you tomorrow. I can't wait. And
Speaker 1: then I go controversial question April, and then I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: we really talk more in group chats than we do
Speaker 1: the way clearly and me, I'm like, girl, what's the
Speaker 1: controversial question? I love a controversial question. She's like, I
Speaker 1: was trying to.
Speaker 4: Get you on the show exactly because I'm just like,
Speaker 4: you know, we need more women who are self possessed,
Speaker 4: who enjoy their relationships with other women, who understand conflict
Speaker 4: and drama, not because they want to put on a spectacle,
Speaker 4: but because that's just what life is, and are unafraid
Speaker 4: to talk about the hard stuff, are unafraid to show
Speaker 4: the warts in all of their lives because we are
Speaker 4: all mirroring what we see well.
Speaker 1: And the interesting thing I'm realizing watching your journey there is.
Speaker 1: What you're doing is you're modeling a healthier way. Yes,
Speaker 1: and like, isn't that what we're all trying to do
Speaker 1: all day? Anyway? I'm like, get through the time that
Speaker 1: passes and like it exactly. Just want to like my life,
Speaker 1: don't you.
Speaker 3: That's the whole point.
Speaker 4: But I also think that like having a platform where
Speaker 4: we show the relationships between women and the different ways
Speaker 4: that the relationships are is really important. I actually think
Speaker 4: like showing the more healthy way of being is really important.
Speaker 4: And that's no shade to anybody who's come before. I
Speaker 4: just think it's time for revolution.
Speaker 1: I love that, and that show has led to your
Speaker 1: next show. Yes, girl, you guys, this woman just got
Speaker 1: a casual call from Jimmy Fallon. Please tell the people
Speaker 1: what's coming. I am so excited about it now.
Speaker 3: So now here's what's now. Look at look at God.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you something, Okay.
Speaker 4: So the idea of like walking in your purpose and
Speaker 4: your destiny regardless of what other people think of you
Speaker 4: is actually my testimony because you will not believe, or
Speaker 4: you probably will believe the number of people who are like,
Speaker 4: why would you go on this show Housewives when you
Speaker 4: have such an amazing career. You are a corporate batty,
Speaker 4: You're a Hall of fame, Like, why would you do that?
Speaker 4: You were ruined your reputation. And I was like, I
Speaker 4: have an idea. I'm gonna go anyway. And I went
Speaker 4: and in the literally the first episode, I show up
Speaker 4: in my glorious gown, okay, because a girl's got a sleigh,
Speaker 4: all right, And I run through my resume because I
Speaker 4: wanted them to all know who they were dealing with,
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, and I assert my power.
Speaker 4: And what I didn't know is that Jimmy Fallon and
Speaker 4: his wife Nancy were watching the show and our fans,
Speaker 4: and Jimmy had sold an idea to NBC for a
Speaker 4: reality competition that centered marketing, so think about like Shark
Speaker 4: Tank or Project Runway, but for marketing people.
Speaker 3: And he had interviewed a bunch.
Speaker 4: Of cmos who had great resumes but not the personality.
Speaker 1: They were boring okay.
Speaker 4: And then he saw me on Healthwives and I ran
Speaker 4: down my resume and he was like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I found her. And so his people called my people
Speaker 4: and then we got on the phone and within ten
Speaker 4: minutes we had agreed that we were going to film
Speaker 4: a new show together. It's called On Brand. It launches
Speaker 4: in September, premieres on NBC, and it's a magical show
Speaker 4: because I love the idea that beautiful, creative ideas can
Speaker 4: come from anywhere. You know, there are contestants on the
Speaker 4: show who are There's one who's like a real estate agent.
Speaker 3: There's one who's a swim instructor.
Speaker 4: There's one who's a marketing professor, like so he actually
Speaker 4: academically understands the business. But it's wonderful because every week
Speaker 4: a new brand comes, gives a brief, and then the
Speaker 4: contestants have to come up with creative ideas.
Speaker 3: And what's amazing is that, like, I cannot tell.
Speaker 4: You the number of people that when you know I
Speaker 4: worked at Uber, I worked at PEPSI, I worked at Apple,
Speaker 4: would like, you know, tag me in a comment or
Speaker 4: like ping me, or god forbid, I was in an
Speaker 4: airport somebody recognized me and would be like, I have
Speaker 4: an idea for a new soda, I have an idea
Speaker 4: for a new way, for a new tech idea. I
Speaker 4: have a new idea for an Apple product. And I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 4: fantastic now I have a show and people can do
Speaker 4: that and it's actually entertaining, and so for me, it's
Speaker 4: an exciting new chapter in my life. And to be
Speaker 4: able to do that and marry my marketing expertise with
Speaker 4: an entertaining show and Jimmy Fallon is incredible. I mean,
Speaker 4: just thought of the earth guys, sweetest oh, an amazing
Speaker 4: human being who really really cares and is excited about
Speaker 4: life and excited about ideas, and so it is really
Speaker 4: a pleasure to agree with him.
Speaker 1: Obviously we get to the show in September, but that
Speaker 1: feels long. I want to know, and maybe it's a
Speaker 1: crazy question to ask, but I know there's so many
Speaker 1: business owners in this audience. Is there a piece of
Speaker 1: marketing advice or brand advice? Yes, that you think is
Speaker 1: the most important thing? Yes, for a business owner to know?
Speaker 4: Absolutely? Okay again, lean in everybody, all right, We're going
Speaker 4: to talk about this because it is a hard thing
Speaker 4: to do and it's a hard team to believe. Which
Speaker 4: is that most of us create because we see a
Speaker 4: need in the market and we want to fill the space.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: The challenge is that we're too wide, you know. So
Speaker 4: the idea that marketing or the thing that you've created
Speaker 4: needs to apply to everyone is a lie because there
Speaker 4: are a bulls eye, and so you need a bullseye target,
Speaker 4: secondary target, tertiary target. Right now, the bulls eye is
Speaker 4: where all the magic is. And guess what it's actually you.
Speaker 4: So I recognize that we make something and we're like, oh,
Speaker 4: but I want to get to the widest audience possible. No,
Speaker 4: the idea is that they actually need to fall in love.
Speaker 4: And so consider that your product, your idea, is a
Speaker 4: human and that human is based on you, and get
Speaker 4: the people to fall in love with that. That's how
Speaker 4: you actually make the change. And so in every company
Speaker 4: I've been in, whether it has been as big as
Speaker 4: Uber or even in creating eve by Bo's, it's like
Speaker 4: the detail of what I'm doing has me in it.
Speaker 4: The ideas are born from this brain, from this heart,
Speaker 4: from these experiences. And so the one piece of marketing
Speaker 4: advice I'll give you is that you need to make
Speaker 4: your target small and it needs to be centered on you.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: You're welcome marketing class.
Speaker 1: Exactly, I'm like, welcome to my lectures here. Okay, we
Speaker 1: are coming up on time. I want to know I
Speaker 1: can't imagine you adding anything else to the list, but
Speaker 1: I have a feeling you will when you look out
Speaker 1: at the rest of your summer, the rest of your
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, when you think about what more you want, yes,
Speaker 1: or what you're looking forward to? Yeah, what's the center
Speaker 1: that feels like you're work in progress?
Speaker 3: Okay, So here's the thing.
Speaker 4: Oftentimes people ask me, like, you know, who I'm inspired by,
Speaker 4: and they think it's going to be an answer like
Speaker 4: my mother or something like that, and my mom, but
Speaker 4: she's not it.
Speaker 3: I'm it. The eighty year old version of me is
Speaker 3: who I'm inspired by.
Speaker 4: The woman who's going to be sitting there and being
Speaker 4: like child, Let me tell you about the story, let
Speaker 4: me tell you what I did. That's the person I'm
Speaker 4: working for, the person that I am trying to impress,
Speaker 4: because everything that I do has to have that level
Speaker 4: of excitement. And so I don't have a five year
Speaker 4: plan or a ten year plan. You know, people always
Speaker 4: say like, oh, well, you've got to make a plan
Speaker 4: to hit you know, the target. The truth of the
Speaker 4: matter is that it is more ethereal than that. You know,
Speaker 4: this existence that we have is not built on the
Speaker 4: sequential order of how we think the universe exists. It
Speaker 4: is more magical than that. And so you have to
Speaker 4: open yourself up to the possibilities of what is going
Speaker 4: to come for you, and you have to move boldly
Speaker 4: in that direction. And so ten years ago when I
Speaker 4: met you, could I have imagined that I'd be a
Speaker 4: real housewife and then I'd have a show with Jimmy Fallon.
Speaker 3: Absolutely not.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But the truth is that I didn't have a
Speaker 4: ten year plan which told me, Okay, by that time,
Speaker 4: you need to be CEO of this company and blah blah,
Speaker 4: blah blah. I left myself open to the possibilities. I mean,
Speaker 4: such a better place than what I would have imagined.
Speaker 4: And I also this is when I get through through.
Speaker 4: But you know, I believe in the power of God,
Speaker 4: you know, and I believe that the destiny that I
Speaker 4: have is written in a way that is unimaginable to me.
Speaker 3: So why would I think that I could orchestrate it.
Speaker 4: My job is to walk by faith, and that's what
Speaker 4: I do every single day. So people look at my
Speaker 4: resume or say, oh my gosh, do you do such
Speaker 4: big things or how do these amazing opportunities come, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, because I'm walking by faith, I'm walking in
Speaker 4: the direction, and I am not encumbered by a plan
Speaker 4: that I have because my imagination is way too small
Speaker 4: for that. Right.
Speaker 1: You always hear people talk about, oh, beyond your wildest dreams. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and someone said to me years ago, make sure your
Speaker 1: wildest dreams aren't a box you put your yourself in.
Speaker 1: Look and absolutely, look where we are today. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to know you. I love you. Thank you for
Speaker 1: coming and.
Speaker 4: Inspiring young right, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4: I appreciate it, and I wish you all a very
Speaker 4: urgent life. If that's the one thing that you can
Speaker 4: take away from this is center yourself in your life.
Speaker 4: Make sure you are urgent about the things that you're doing,
Speaker 4: and make sure that you're doing it for you and
Speaker 4: not the expectation of anyone else.
Speaker 3: God bless you.
Speaker 1: Thank you both.