WEBVTT - Work In Progress: Bozoma Saint John 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:14.640 Hi, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.520 We're about to witness a live podcast recording of Work 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:22.000 in Progress with Sophia Bush. I know we have some 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:23.640 Sofia Bush fans in the house. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:26.280 She is that girl. 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:30.520 She is an activist, an actress, an entrepreneur, a storyteller. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.720 She stole our hearts in One Tree Hill and since 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.639 then she's done what so few have the courage to do. 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.320 She used her platform to advocate for social justice, for 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.840 women's rights, for civic engagement. Her podcast, Work in Progress 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.120 is on my queue every week and she explores the messy, 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:52.319 meaningful journeys of people who inspire her. Okay, we have 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:55.560 a major surprise guest. I'm excited I get to introduce her. 0:00:55.640 --> 0:01:00.120 It is Bozama Saint John. 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:00.560 Now. 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:03.880 Bosama is the definition of if you want it, go 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:08.080 get it. From Pepsi to Apple, to Uber to Netflix, 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:09.760 she hasn't just shaped. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.440 Brands, She's shaped culture. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.319 Okay, now she's rewriting the playbook again with her new company, 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.560 Eve by Boz. It's a hair care line with products 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:23.080 manufactured entirely in Ghana, where she was born. So because 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:26.240 boz doesn't do anything halfway, the hair is amazing. 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.680 Let's welcome these ladies with the energy they deserved. 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:32.400 Sophia Bosh Bosama, Saint. 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:38.240 John, Hello, hello everyone. We were we were just watching 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:43.000 how wonderful this is and organized, and Jamielle called that 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.000 nice woman up to share about her company, and I 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:47.760 looked at Bo's and I was like, see when people 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:49.720 ask me, oh, do you really think things would be 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.480 so amazing if the women were in charge? Yes, yes, 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:55.000 it would be like this all the time. 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:56.240 That's right, that's right. 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.760 And then we could also wear sports and middrift showing suits. 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:02.680 You know what I'm saying, you know, because we'd be 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:09.639 in charge. Thank you, I know, yeah, tell somebody, Okay, yeah, 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:10.760 okute guys. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.200 I have to say I'm so excited to be back 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:17.200 here with all of you. I do feel like women 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:20.320 gathering is very important in healing right now. So thank 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:23.680 you for having us, Thank you for coming. And I 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.799 have to say I met this amazing woman almost ten 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:27.320 years ago. 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:28.000 Oh my god. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.919 We were at a conference shocker for anyone who knows me. 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:34.560 You you know, I love a nerd event, and I 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:39.639 was so struck by like one of the most powerful 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:45.320 women in business. Also just being so cool. We like, 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.440 suddenly there was dinner, there were drinks, things were happening. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.040 We were talking about our lives and I was like, 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:53.960 aren't you like in charge of Netflix, aren't you? I 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.839 feel like you're really busy and you manage to do 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.960 so much, whether it's business, being the most amazing mom. 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.960 I cannot believe your daughter's taller than me. Now this 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:08.200 is really weird. Everything you do, you do is such heart, 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.160 and you manage to make people feel like they are 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.320 the center of your attention, and your attention is wanted 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:21.600 by everyone. So how'd you do it? Give us the 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.080 inside baseball please? 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.680 Nice of you and also than ten years. Wow, that's 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:30.320 crazy since we're only twenty five. That's true exactly. We've 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:31.239 been aged today. 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.359 But you know what I think at the center of it, 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.080 I really love people. 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.440 And I know that probably sounds corny and maybe you 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:39.880 know what, but I love people. 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.080 Now that doesn't mean that I'm an extrovert. You know. 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.760 I don't do well like just going into a room 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:46.600 and then walking around and saying hi to everybody that's 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:46.880 not me. 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:50.080 But I am deeply curious about people. 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:50.960 You know. 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:53.720 It's like I am that person that will be sitting 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:56.560 in the airport and you're hustling about somebody else's conversation. 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:00.160 Now you know, I'm not calling eaveydrop. I'm just calling 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:01.480 you're hustling, you know. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.600 What I mean. But I'm just curious. 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:07.680 And I think for me, it's part of why I 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:10.080 do the work that I do, because as a marketer 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.800 and as a business person, I have to deeply understand 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.800 what's happening in culture, what people are thinking about, what 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.279 they love, what they like in order to do my 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.719 job well. And that has also gone into my personal 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:26.120 life because I deeply want to understand people's stories and 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.320 why they tick the way they tick. And so yes, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.880 when I met you, I'm like, oh, tell me more, Sophia, 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:33.520 you know, and I'm paying attention and I'm engaged and 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.440 i want to know you more. And so I think 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:38.760 for me, it's like and for all of us, I 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:41.680 think if we led from a place of curiosity, it's 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:43.680 not just about like women making the world better, but 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:45.960 if we let it from a place of curiosity, the 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.440 world would be better because we would want to know 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.480 about other people. We wouldn't make assumptions about their belief 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.480 systems or how they behave. 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:55.200 Or their rationale. 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.560 We would actually ask and then connect because we probably 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:02.200 have some commonalities once we understand what people's differences are. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.800 Which I think is especially important these days. You know, 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.880 the Internet is such a gift in terms of connection, 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:14.480 but the more it's algorithmically programmed, the more you're only 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.320 met with what you already think. So the ability to 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:20.279 be curious about people, where they come from, how they live, 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.960 what's important to them, I think is something we need 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:28.919 now before we jump into all the amazing things you're doing. 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.920 I love on the show to go backwards with people because, 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:36.440 like everyone knows her resume right, anyone I get to interview, 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:39.400 people usually know what you have going on now. But 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:42.560 I like to ask this question. I'm really curious for you, 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:45.080 especially because you moved around so much as a kid. 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:51.640 If you could like fold space time, yes, and we 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.240 could hang out with bows as a ten year old 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.680 girl up here on the stage with us, paint me 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.960 a picture of her life and ponder if you would 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.400 see the woman you are today in her Yeah. 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.000 Oh that's very interesting. 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:09.880 Okay, So at ten, at ten, we were living in 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:14.880 Kenya in Nairobi. My parents are Ghanian and we moved 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.680 around a lot because my dad loves to do that. 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.880 He's a nomad and an academic and you know, wants 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:25.279 to ponder all kind of world and human politics. But 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.279 at ten, I was already very curious about the world 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:33.039 and people. And because for anyone who has ever you know, 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.520 as a child, maybe even as an adult, where you're 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.680 plucked from one place that you're very familiar with and 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.400 put in another place, all you want to do is 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:42.000 fit in, you know, all you want to do is 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:42.440 get along. 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:45.279 Now, I recognize that most people think Africa is just 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:46.240 like one country. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.239 However, there are many countries in it, and those countries 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:53.880 have lots of different types of cultures and belief systems. 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:59.240 And so for me it was very disjointing because at ten. 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:00.960 And you remember what you were like, right, I mean 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:01.880 I don't know, I. 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.279 Was gangly and not really I didn't know what was 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.480 going on, you know, But the things that I needed 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.400 to do in order to connect with my classmates and 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:14.600 even just a larger culture was back to the curiosity 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:16.920 of things, you know, understanding It's like, well, what do 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.720 people love? What were they thinking? You know, It's like 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.960 what was the most popular music? Like what were the 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:24.080 dance steps, you know, the stuff that is like makes 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:26.400 culture but then makes you also connect with people, and 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:27.600 it was even more pronounced. 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.680 I'll jump ahead two years because at. 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:34.600 Twelve, we immigrated from Ghana to Colgo Springs, Colorado, and 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.920 that was an even bigger jump. And so like for me, 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:41.680 it's like, look, I now would look back and I 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:44.960 don't know that the girl then would recognize me now. 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.880 But I am so thankful for the experiences at that 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:52.200 age because it really does make me who I am. 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:56.560 Like I feel like, look across cultures and cross countries 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.920 and language and belief systems, that there's so much more 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.440 commonality than we actually think there is. 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:06.160 Yeah. Well, and when I think about your career, the 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:11.400 massive companies that you've walked into one after another, each 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:15.000 has a culture, each has a place, like the ability 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:20.480 to navigate culture shock and to listen and look for 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.800 you know, patterns with people that you learned as a 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.239 kid probably served you incredible in your career. 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:26.760 Oh my gosh. 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:28.920 Well, so yeah, that's like the number one question I 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:30.760 get when I talk about like the different companies I've 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.000 worked for, right, because it's like mostly in the C 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.880 suite it's white men, you know, almost entirely. Oh you 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.440 don't say girl. And then I walk in and it's 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.719 very different. It's like one of these things is not 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:46.480 like the other, you know. But it's interesting to me 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:49.600 because you know, when I just said about like when 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:51.800 we were ten or twelve, you just wanted to like 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:53.240 fit in, you know, you don't want to be different 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:58.199 from anybody. But the real beauty of our unique experiences 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:00.800 isn't the connection so that we can assum it's not 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:03.400 the connection so that you can just be like everybody else. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.480 Is the connection so that you can actually be or 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:09.520 a unique individual person and be accepted because people understand it, 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.600 you don't. And so, yes, I walked into Uber when 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.720 it was like on fire, and Travis Kalanik, the founder 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:18.560 and CEO, got fired two days after I got there, 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.360 And I'm sitting here as the chief brand officer, like 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:22.679 when the hell am I supposed to do now? And 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:24.720 what are all these people? And they don't even believe 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:26.480 what I have to say? And I had to bring 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:31.080 my own experiences into it. And so the idea that 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:36.720 we as individuals don't have power based on who we 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:39.160 actually are is a lie. Yeah, And I take it 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.559 even back to like science, right, I've given this example 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.400 many times, but I'm like, look, just because I'm a 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.040 marketer and I wear a short skirts does not mean 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:48.920 I don't know science. Right now, physics, you understand matter 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.040 and matter can be anything, can be this room, it 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.680 can be a pool. 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.680 Of woman after my own heart, I must say. 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:59.160 Matter is amazing. Okay, yes, So matter is made up 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:02.880 of molecules. So in any situation, it's a bunch of 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:06.160 molecules together that make a matter. You remove one molecule 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:10.000 and the whole matter changes. You add another molecule and 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:13.200 the whole matter changes. That is actual science. And so 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.600 if we take this room, for instance, and we remove 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:20.800 one person, we have now dynamically changed. And if you 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:25.120 take that into the boardroom I enter, and the whole 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:29.000 matter changes. You know, it's like my experience is my understanding. 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:33.000 It's like me as a first generation American, as someone 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.000 who speaks two languages, as a. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:37.960 Widow, as a mother of an amazing girl. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:42.040 You know, like though, all those experiences are truly important 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:44.400 in changing the matter of the place that you are. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.280 And that's why even at any level in which you're at, 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:48.960 whether you're at a company or you're in. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.600 An organization or community. 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:55.520 Like wherever you are, your molecule truly matters, and so 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:58.280 show up as your full self, as the person who 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:03.000 can impact the area and the situation, because once you leave, 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:04.800 your fingerprints to still be on it. 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:05.600 Yeah. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:08.440 Well, and I think it's so important, especially now when 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:15.000 we see a lot of frankly illogical attacks on diversity, 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:21.440 on equity, on inclusion. It's like, your experiences make a 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:26.240 place better. Yes, the things you learned losing your husband 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:31.880 give you insight into what people are experiencing, just like 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.360 the things that you've learned running companies, just like being 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:39.720 a mom. The more diversity of experience that actually comes 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:43.760 into a room, the richer the thing you build is. 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.000 And then you don't find which I know you've heard 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.040 the phrase, and I've heard the phrase because you know, 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.600 we were around for the birth of some of these 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:56.280 big internet companies. You hear CEOs and CTOs talk about how, oh, 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.200 you know they had to reverse engineer to fill in 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:00.719 all these holes because when they were building the thing, 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.480 they didn't know it was going to have to do 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.560 fill in the blank. So the blanks are like it's 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.320 like craters and things fall through the cracks, and there 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:14.320 would be less of them if more experiences, if more 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.320 perspectives had been there from the beginning, not the other 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:17.840 way around. 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:18.280 That's right. 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:22.480 So the lie that who you are needs to change 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:27.240 be smaller is you know, woke? 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:29.720 Yes, it's all upside. 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.160 Down exactly what, because like we're trying to put definitions 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:35.760 on just common sense, you know, I'm like, I just 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.640 don't even understand how we're even still having this conversation, 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:40.480 you know, because the truth of the matter is that 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:42.960 go back to the curiosity of things. 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:43.400 You know. 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.160 It's like, if you don't have a good understanding of 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.359 what somebody in a different situation from you is experiencing, 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.920 then how can you actually make great decisions for the 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.280 business or the company? Right, Yes, it's not possible, and 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:02.280 my singular experience is not enough, and so therefore I 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.280 do need to surround myself with people who have different 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.200 ways of being, you know, who have different belief systems. 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.280 And the challenge that. 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:15.040 I find is that somehow we have been lied to 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:19.840 to think that if somebody has a different opinion, different 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:23.959 belief system, that you must convert them to your own 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.360 belief and that is the only way to move forward. 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:26.800 It is not. 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:29.880 It's like, look, the whole world is made up of 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.440 so many interesting people. It really comes down to the 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:35.200 love of people and the love of curiosity. It's like, 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:37.520 if you really want to get to know somebody better, 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.920 it's like, look, they can have different belief systems than you, 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.800 and you can still respect them and they can respect you. 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.839 And so the idea of DEI or any of these 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.840 other reverse engineering tactics, I'm like, that's all stupid because 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.240 it's just common sense and it's the way that we 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.720 should be as human beings. Like, forget all the math 0:13:57.760 --> 0:13:59.400 that you need to do in order to check the 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.360 boxes for the company. It's like, what are you doing 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.320 as a human And again, sometimes we want to point 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.680 at leadership and say, oh, well they have created this, 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:08.800 or they have not done that, or they need to 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:09.679 create a policy. 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.040 And I'm always like, but what are you doing? What 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.400 are you doing in your seat from where you are? 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:17.800 You know, you're not powerless, and so if your belief 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:21.360 system doesn't change and you don't behave in the way 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:25.520 in which is common sense, then we can't expect leadership 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:27.600 to have any difference. So I don't care what the 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.760 administration is doing at this point in time. 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:30.520 Well, I do care. 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.040 But at the same time, yeah, I think that we 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:37.040 have so much power and for some reason we don't 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:37.880 believe that we do. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:39.760 And it's not about. 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.080 Necessarily thinking like, oh, well, what can one person do 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.960 to change the world. It's like, no, but what are 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.120 you doing in your neighborhood, you know, what are you 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.520 doing in the school where your kids go, What are 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.840 you doing in the boardroom that you're in, what are 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.320 you doing in the cubicle next to you that you know? 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.520 Can you can actually connect with somebody? So I don't 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.000 think that we're powerless. And I don't believe that whatever 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:02.920 policies are metted down about DEI or any other kind 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:06.280 of diverse conversation, that we should then abandon ship and 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.280 think that like we need to all just stick in 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.120 our individual roles and only the people who agree. 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.280 With us are the ones who are right. That cannot 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:13.840 be the case. 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:16.480 You're gonna get to the end of the day no 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:20.080 matter what. Yes, the time is going to pass, no 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:26.080 matter what. So yes, we will hold power to account. Yeah, 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.960 but also what have you done in your world? In 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.440 your world at the end of your day. That's correct, 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.400 because I think we forget that it's important to pay 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.760 attention to the big picture, but it's also important to 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:41.200 remember you can affect what's around you in every moment 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:41.800 of your life. 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:42.480 That's correct. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.920 Like you know what, Sometimes people say like, oh, well, 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.480 you know what, Like I will affect change once I 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.160 get into the C suite or once I get into 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:53.280 the corner office and I have power, And I'm like, 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:54.640 let me tell you a big secret. 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.640 Is everybody ready for this one? However you are. 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.800 Behaving now is how you'll be when you're in the 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:05.040 C suite, And it gets harder, not easier, because then 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:07.920 the spotlight is really on and people are staring at you, 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.440 and the decisions you make they will talk about, they'll 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.960 be angry about. And if you don't have the the 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.840 practice and it's really practice of again and again and 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.000 again making these choices and you know, fighting for what 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:23.680 is right, then you will not make it. 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:25.200 When you're in the c suite. 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.480 You'll go along and you'll just do the thing that 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.320 everybody else tells you to do, and you won't affect change. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:34.160 And so that's why I strongly advocate that we stop 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.600 looking at leadership for the answers. You know that for us, 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.640 we are we truly do have the power, and it 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:43.760 really is about the individual, the mono and mono conversation 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.680 that we're having which actually ends up changing the entire policy. 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.720 Yeah, we'll be back in just a minute, but here's 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:57.720 a word from our sponsors. Well, what I like about 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.760 what you're talking about because it's really my two favorite things. 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.720 You're talking about the emotional, that empathetic and you're talking 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.879 about science. And the way I think about it is 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:11.680 like we have to manifest scientifically, Like if we want 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.960 to put attention on what we would like to be 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.280 true in our lives, then we have to be the 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.280 leaders we don't think we have, right, we have to 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.760 be the friends we wish we'd had when we had 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:25.919 gone through a loss. Yes, we have to be the 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:29.400 neighbors that you would want to have in a disaster. 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.800 I mean, shout out to every single person here who's 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:36.280 also an Angelino like us, because watching the way that 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:42.000 our city showed up in January, when you know, from 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:44.240 the west side to the east side there was such 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.440 horrible devastation, I was like, listen, one of the things 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:50.080 I love about La is no matter how pissed people 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.159 in this neighborhood might be about the new restaurant in 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:56.360 that neighborhood, the minute something goes down, everybody's team la. 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:58.720 And I think it's a It was a really important 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.680 reminder for me at the top of the year, knowing 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.160 what was happening, you know, what was set to begin 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.199 on inauguration Day, I was like, oh, right, look what 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:11.600 our communities can do irrespective of this other mess. And 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:15.160 I think it's why everyone who knows you, everyone who 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:19.919 follows you online, wants to be in your energy, because 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:23.320 you remind people how powerful they are. Look every day. 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.960 I wrongly believe that it's like, you know what, I 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:30.359 remember getting on a zoom a meeting the day after inauguration. 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.240 N Actually, I'm sorry. It wasn't the day after inauguration. 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.200 It was the day after the election. The results had 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:38.080 come in, of course, and lots of people took the 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.560 day off, right, But I was in a meeting. I 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:43.320 tell you something, and this is not like I don't 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:45.800 mean anything by it besides telling you the truth, which 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.720 is as I was actually very energized, you. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:50.720 Know, Like I woke up that morning I was like, oh, 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.399 I see it's my turn. I've got to do something, 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:54.040 you know what I mean? 0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:57.840 Like, I came into meetings that day, and the meetings 0:18:57.840 --> 0:18:59.800 I was in were about building my business. 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:00.359 Right. 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:04.360 So the business I've created is a hair company, hair 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:05.119 and beauty company. 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:06.439 It's called Eve by Bose. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:10.280 It's centered on black women and women of color for 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.960 hair extensions and hair care. And the reason why I 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:17.280 felt so drawn to it was at one, I love hair, Okay, 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.760 I love bundles. Okay, what are we even doing? But 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.520 it's incredible to me that eighty percent of the consumer 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:27.639 base of hair extensions are black women or women of color, 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:30.480 but they're not centered in the conversation. The innovation is 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:32.280 not about them, The texture is not about them. 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:34.040 You can go on Google. 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.120 Or wherever else and see fourteen million videos of how 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.720 to manipulate the hair extensions so they match women of 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.480 color or black women's textures. And I was like, well, 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:44.919 why do we have to do that? First of all, 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:47.200 I'm sick and tired of doing it. And so I 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.720 went to China, yes by myself, me six foot tall 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:54.200 and black, to the largest hair show in the world 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.240 in Guangzhou. Day one, I made a mistake I didn't 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:59.600 have interpreter. That was a problem. Day two I learned 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:01.600 I came as an interpreter so I could get the 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:05.320 information because the things I was asking were like, why 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:08.040 is the texture like this? Why do lace colors only 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:09.720 come in white? Why are they not brown? Why are 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:11.600 they not different shades? You see fency out here. They're 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:13.200 killing the game. Forty shades on air? 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:13.880 What are we doing? 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:17.639 And the answers were not that difficult, you know. It 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:19.800 was a choice that people were making. They were like, 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:21.600 oh no, it's possible, we just don't do it because 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.119 nobody really asked us to do it. And I was like, oh, okay, 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:26.520 so let me gather all the information. I'm simplifying a 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:29.840 lot of things. But it took many months and almost 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:32.960 eighteen months to build that. I eventually built a factory 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:37.080 in Ghana where I could then manufacture the product myself, 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:38.720 with black women and women. 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:39.560 Of color at the center of it. 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:42.480 And so the day after inauguration, when I was sitting 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:44.679 there and everybody else was like, oh no, what is me? 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:45.359 What are we going to do? 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:49.520 I was like, we got to move, we have to motivate, 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.520 we have to take the power. Like I don't care 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:55.240 who's sit in that house, like, we have to do it. 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:58.960 And so why would I Why would I cry? Why 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:01.639 would I mourn? When I have the power to do 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.159 something and I am still energized. So every time I 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:08.320 see a new stupid ass headline, oh Lord have mercy, 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:10.560 I mean, it annoys me for like three seconds, and 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:12.040 then it motivates me to. 0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:14.120 Move, because what are we gonna do. 0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:16.719 You know, we're gonna sit around and wait four years 0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:18.359 before we do something about this. 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:20.040 No, we gotta motivate. 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.639 And so for me, it's like, look, I'm taking every 0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:26.720 opportunity in every room I'm in as the molecule that 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:29.880 changes matter to make things better for. 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:34.120 Me and for my community. Yes, and it any night, 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:35.879 come on you girl. 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:39.320 It's like I feel like we're all gonna need and 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.560 ironically we'll have it. It'll be on the podcast. I'm like, 0:21:41.560 --> 0:21:43.600 I need a recording of this just to be in 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:45.720 my in my little air pod when I'm having a 0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:48.480 bad day, just walk around getting a Bose pep talk 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:52.720 in the house. You you you said something a while 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:55.240 back that I love so much. You said you are 0:21:55.400 --> 0:22:00.160 never intimidated in spaces that you know other people pople 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:01.000 might not always think you. 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:02.600 Should be in oh girl. Yeah. 0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:06.680 And when you talk about power, when you talk about motivation, 0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:10.840 when you talk about being inspired to fix all of 0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:14.840 it is really it feels to me like forward motion. 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:19.719 And so I want to know, is that innate for 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:22.560 you or do you think that's something you've learned through 0:22:22.640 --> 0:22:26.480 your career, because as I mentioned earlier, the resume is unbelievable, 0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:30.280 from you know, Apple Music to Ubert and Netflix. When 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:33.480 you think back on some of the first days in 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:37.280 some of those offices, yes, how do you walk in 0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:39.399 with this kind of confidence? 0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:40.400 Yeah? 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:42.200 Or is it something you learned in one of those 0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:44.560 places and you've taken with you into rest. 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:46.080 So it's a combination of things. 0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:48.240 Right again, just back to the science of it all 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:52.880 and this time will do math. Okay, Yes, So each 0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:55.560 of us that are sitting here, it took two sets 0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:59.119 of DNA in order to create us. Right, you go 0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:02.879 back like twelve generations, and that's four thousand people that 0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:05.600 it took for you individual to sit here. And so 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:08.040 when I walk into a room, I'm like, oh, there's 0:23:08.040 --> 0:23:10.400 four thousand people coming with me, you know what I mean? 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:11.480 That, like, my. 0:23:11.800 --> 0:23:17.480 Individual journey is as important as anyone else's. And I 0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:19.439 realized that that might sound Try it, and it might 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:21.639 sound like, oh, she's just talking, But it's like if 0:23:21.680 --> 0:23:25.680 you actually believe that, if you truly put it into 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:28.359 your spirit, there is no room you walk into and 0:23:28.400 --> 0:23:31.199 feel like an imposter. There's no table you sit at 0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:34.040 and think, I don't belong here, because you do, why 0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:36.159 the hell would you be there. I also believe in 0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:39.359 my own destiny, you know, I believe that the steps 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:41.159 I take are meant to be. 0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:43.680 And the thing is that I also. 0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.199 Have this belief about destiny, which is like it's not 0:23:46.640 --> 0:23:49.920 just written and then it happens. It's like your forward motion, 0:23:50.080 --> 0:23:52.720 your steps are actually what then create it and make 0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:55.560 it come true. And so when I'm sitting at a table, 0:23:55.680 --> 0:23:57.399 I am meant to be there. All the things in 0:23:57.400 --> 0:23:59.439 my life have led me to that moment, and so 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:02.000 I have to show what in the fullness of myself, 0:24:02.240 --> 0:24:05.120 with all the experiences I have, with my ideas, with 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:08.080 my opinions, and so part of it is innate and 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:11.320 that I understand math. And then I'm like, Okay, it 0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:12.680 took a lot of people for me to get here, 0:24:13.200 --> 0:24:15.240 and all these experiences for me to be in this room, 0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:17.040 so I'm going to I'm actually going to show up, 0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:20.160 like in the fullness of myself. And then through experience, 0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:25.119 it has really been about urgency for me, you know. 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:28.240 So I said before that I'm a widow. My husband 0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:31.679 died of cancer in twenty thirteen, so we're coming up 0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:34.119 on twelve years, which is just absolutely incredible to me. 0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:38.200 He died right before his forty fourth birthday, and one 0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:41.680 of the most there's a lot to say about that experience, 0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:46.440 but one of the most life changing moments was at 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:50.159 his funeral when my daughter and I are standing in 0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:53.439 the receiving line, you know, people are finding out of 0:24:53.480 --> 0:24:56.680 the church and shaking our hands and giving us hugs, 0:24:57.000 --> 0:25:01.040 and people kept saying over and over and over, they 0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:02.399 were like, oh, I'm so sorry. 0:25:02.440 --> 0:25:05.400 He died so young. There was so much left to do. 0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:13.680 And I remember feeling burdened by that thought and afraid 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:16.679 of that and being like, well, what happens. It was 0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:18.680 like a fear that was in my spirit, like oh 0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:21.920 my gosh, Like what if what if I'm not here 0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:24.119 long enough to do the things I'm supposed to do, 0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:26.720 or if I'm not here long enough to fulfill my destiny, 0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:30.119 like what I'm afraid. But what changed for me was 0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:33.720 the thought of urgency. And urgency isn't necessarily about speed, 0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:35.880 you know. I realized that we're like, oh, we got something, 0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:36.879 we must move fast. 0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:39.840 You know. It's not about speed. Urgency is about intention, 0:25:40.920 --> 0:25:41.080 you know. 0:25:41.119 --> 0:25:45.080 It's about moving with intention, passion yes, and saying that like, 0:25:45.280 --> 0:25:47.199 this is what I want to do right now, and 0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:49.439 therefore nothing's going to stop me from doing it. 0:25:49.520 --> 0:25:50.320 That is urgent. 0:25:50.920 --> 0:25:53.520 And for me, it's like in my life, the way 0:25:53.560 --> 0:25:57.000 that I've been able to overcome that very crippling fear 0:25:57.760 --> 0:26:02.040 of leaving too soon is that I want my entire 0:26:02.200 --> 0:26:07.080 life to feel as big as possible. In my book 0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:10.400 and the epithet, I have a quote by Diane Ackerman 0:26:11.240 --> 0:26:13.679 and i'll paraphrase it. I won't say it exactly, but 0:26:13.720 --> 0:26:16.639 it says, I want to get to my end of 0:26:16.640 --> 0:26:18.800 my life and not just have lived the length of it, 0:26:19.440 --> 0:26:22.679 but to have lived the width of it, which is 0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:25.320 so beautiful, you know, the thought that like, you're going 0:26:25.400 --> 0:26:28.760 to live as wide as possible, and I challenge all 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:30.720 of us to do that. It's like, what is it 0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:33.199 that you're dreaming of that you're thinking of even in 0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:36.040 the small decisions that you make every single day that 0:26:36.080 --> 0:26:39.000 are true to you, that you're not just living for 0:26:39.040 --> 0:26:41.679 the expectation of other people. I don't care if it's 0:26:41.720 --> 0:26:44.760 your mama, Okay, it's like, are you living for the 0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:48.080 expectation of your own life? Because regardless of what time 0:26:48.119 --> 0:26:51.600 I go, I want people to be like, God, damn, she. 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:55.159 Lived a big life. Godly, look at what that girl did. Yeah, 0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:55.760 you know what I mean. 0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:57.520 And if I can do that, and if I can 0:26:57.560 --> 0:27:01.080 live urgently with the purpose of trying to accomplish the 0:27:01.119 --> 0:27:03.480 things that I want to accomplish in my life, girl, 0:27:04.480 --> 0:27:07.280 then there's no room I walk into without feeling like 0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:09.000 I belong there and I'm there to get what I'm 0:27:09.040 --> 0:27:09.640 supposed to get. 0:27:10.640 --> 0:27:15.520 I love that. I love that right for all of 0:27:15.560 --> 0:27:17.760 our friends out here. If you have not read the book, 0:27:18.280 --> 0:27:21.359 it's so beautiful. It is called The Urgent Life, My 0:27:21.480 --> 0:27:26.320 Story of Love, Loss and Survival. And I was lucky 0:27:26.440 --> 0:27:28.040 enough a few years ago to moderate one of the 0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:30.600 book talks on it and had to keep myself from 0:27:30.640 --> 0:27:35.120 crying the whole way through. So that's fine. You've been 0:27:35.320 --> 0:27:41.720 so bold not only with joy and power, but with reality. 0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:47.479 With pain, with sharing that story of loss, with talking 0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:51.240 about what it's like to rebuild. And you know you 0:27:51.320 --> 0:27:55.720 mentioned you're coming up on twelve years. Your daughter is 0:27:55.800 --> 0:28:00.479 here again, taller than me. It's fine. It doesn't make 0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:05.840 me feel old at all, ma'am. How do you think 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:10.320 about it? You know you two are so beautifully close, 0:28:11.280 --> 0:28:15.800 you mom, at the level that you ceemo. Yes, you know, 0:28:16.400 --> 0:28:20.200 and I admire it so much. And while I hate 0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:21.879 that women are so often ask like how do you 0:28:21.960 --> 0:28:24.760 balance at all? Because they never ask the men, I 0:28:24.760 --> 0:28:26.520 don't want to know that. What I want to know 0:28:26.680 --> 0:28:32.000 is with a sixteen year old, now, like, what are 0:28:32.040 --> 0:28:37.080 some of the best lessons from career and motherhood combined? 0:28:37.280 --> 0:28:37.639 Yes? 0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:39.920 Yes, Like will you give us the cheat codes? 0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:40.840 Yes? I will. 0:28:40.920 --> 0:28:43.400 I want a mom like you mom, you know. 0:28:43.640 --> 0:28:45.680 But okay, so this where we all sit up and 0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:48.160 then we get a little closer, right, because I'm going 0:28:48.240 --> 0:28:50.320 to tell you something and sometimes I get in trouble 0:28:50.320 --> 0:28:52.920 for saying it, but I'm going to tell you that 0:28:53.000 --> 0:28:56.640 you are the center of your life. And I recognize 0:28:56.640 --> 0:28:59.600 that that sounds like a simple sentence, but if you 0:28:59.680 --> 0:29:03.760 actually behave that way, it will dynamically change your life. 0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:07.560 Meaning that you are the center of your life. 0:29:08.120 --> 0:29:10.920 Now, Leel, my daughter will tell you that when I 0:29:11.000 --> 0:29:13.000 ask her, or if somebody asking you, who's the most 0:29:13.000 --> 0:29:15.800 important person in your life? And people expect that because 0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:17.880 I'm a mother, I'm gonna be like, oh, my daughter, No, 0:29:18.200 --> 0:29:20.200 I am the most important person in my life. 0:29:20.320 --> 0:29:22.960 And I realized that that's like, it sounds selfish. 0:29:22.960 --> 0:29:24.760 It's like, well, okay, fine, because who else am I 0:29:24.760 --> 0:29:27.560 supposed to be filled with but myself. The truth of 0:29:27.600 --> 0:29:31.040 the matter is that I've said this in another setting 0:29:31.560 --> 0:29:36.680 and it got a lot of attention because I reminded 0:29:36.720 --> 0:29:39.760 people that a lot of us, many of us here, 0:29:39.840 --> 0:29:42.440 you don't have to identify yourself, but many of us 0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:47.000 here are walking around consequences of somebody's unfulfilled dreams. We're 0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:50.800 walking around with burdens of feeling like I've got to 0:29:50.840 --> 0:29:54.240 do this because this person wasn't able to do it, 0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:56.560 or this person sacrifice so that I could sit here. 0:29:56.920 --> 0:29:59.840 And therefore you can't live your own life. You can't 0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:05.360 center yourself. But it is a deeply life changing perspective 0:30:05.840 --> 0:30:08.000 to say I'm at the center and I'm going to 0:30:08.000 --> 0:30:11.120 do the things I promise you. Leyela is a much 0:30:11.200 --> 0:30:15.760 more fulfilled human because I've centered myself, because I am 0:30:15.880 --> 0:30:18.480 happy in my life, because I'm going after the things 0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:21.240 I want to go after, because I'm ambitious. And the 0:30:21.280 --> 0:30:25.520 thing is that she comes along because I respect her. 0:30:26.160 --> 0:30:29.200 And even as early as four years old, when we 0:30:29.240 --> 0:30:32.240 would have the conversation about like, Okay, mommy has to 0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:35.480 go to Coopertino, which we lived in, that we live 0:30:35.520 --> 0:30:37.400 here in LA and so I take a flight to 0:30:37.440 --> 0:30:40.240 go to work and then come back. Therefore, sometimes I'd 0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:44.400 miss the parent teacher, you know, conferences, or I'd miss 0:30:44.840 --> 0:30:48.360 the basketball game she played, or I'd miss the practice. 0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:51.520 But she knows that if she says to me, look, 0:30:51.560 --> 0:30:53.040 this is really important to me and I need you 0:30:53.080 --> 0:30:55.680 to be there, I will be there. But doesn't stop 0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:58.640 me from being completely ambitious in what I do. And 0:30:58.680 --> 0:31:00.960 so my hope is that as she grows and as 0:31:01.000 --> 0:31:04.080 all of us develop, that you center yourself in your 0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:06.920 life because you'll be a much more fulfilled person. And 0:31:06.960 --> 0:31:09.920 therefore you can be a blessing not just to your children, 0:31:10.200 --> 0:31:12.760 to the community that you're in, into the boardrooms that 0:31:12.800 --> 0:31:15.240 you're in, because you'll have the confidence of knowing that 0:31:15.280 --> 0:31:18.080 I'm here because I want to be better. I want 0:31:18.120 --> 0:31:20.960 to be great, And if you center yourself truly, it 0:31:21.040 --> 0:31:23.520 is a revolutionary act, and so we should do that 0:31:23.560 --> 0:31:24.080 more often. 0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:27.440 Yes, we'll be back in just a minute after a 0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:35.200 few words from our favorite sponsors. One of the things 0:31:35.240 --> 0:31:38.440 I think is shifting most for our generation in particular, 0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:43.480 is that we understand if we don't write our own 0:31:43.520 --> 0:31:47.080 permission slips, nobody else is going to do it. And 0:31:47.120 --> 0:31:50.440 when you become you know, a parent, a partner, a 0:31:50.440 --> 0:31:55.200 step parent, whatever version it is, if they don't see 0:31:55.280 --> 0:31:57.520 you write a permission slip for yourself, how are they 0:31:57.560 --> 0:31:58.760 supposed to learn to do it for them? 0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:01.719 So what I'm saying, look, my hope is that Leyelle 0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.840 walks into every room that she's in and knows that 0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:06.480 she's the most important person. Now, look, that doesn't mean 0:32:06.760 --> 0:32:10.680 necessarily that you're walking around arrogant and like dismissing everybody's thought. 0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:14.840 But the idea that you walk in self confidently is 0:32:14.920 --> 0:32:17.680 a game changer because how many of us have also 0:32:17.720 --> 0:32:22.360 been the victim of somebody's insecurity? Since I see you, okay, 0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:26.200 it's like everybody in here has, And imagine if that 0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:30.800 person had been confident about their own presence had been 0:32:30.920 --> 0:32:33.920 satisfied in what they're doing in their life, that they 0:32:33.960 --> 0:32:36.040 would not have treated you the way that you're treated. 0:32:36.400 --> 0:32:38.400 And so for me, it's like, look, I'm passing on 0:32:38.880 --> 0:32:42.320 this belief system not because I want to raise an asshole, 0:32:42.560 --> 0:32:44.600 but because I want to make sure that she is 0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:47.320 the most fulfilled person she can be so the world 0:32:47.360 --> 0:32:49.400 can see her for the fullness of herself, and so 0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:50.040 that she can be. 0:32:49.960 --> 0:32:52.520 In every room and be dynamic in it and change it. 0:32:53.760 --> 0:32:54.280 I love that. 0:32:54.360 --> 0:32:55.880 Yeah, that's the human I want to raise. 0:32:56.240 --> 0:33:00.360 And one of the things I love for us too. 0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.360 The lessons I learned from the women in my life 0:33:03.400 --> 0:33:08.880 watching them be incredible parents, watching them do this work 0:33:08.920 --> 0:33:11.560 differently than any of our parents had the tools to do. 0:33:12.360 --> 0:33:16.680 Is not only do I get to see you parent well, 0:33:17.360 --> 0:33:21.720 but I watch you reparent yourselves. I get reparented by 0:33:21.800 --> 0:33:26.640 watching the women in my life parent well. Heal, you know, 0:33:26.960 --> 0:33:29.480 I realize, Oh, I don't need to carry this thing 0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:32.280 that somebody put in my backpack when I was a 0:33:32.360 --> 0:33:35.840 kid that I never went in and dumped in the garbage, 0:33:35.960 --> 0:33:38.480 like I'm gonna put this down. Who's even is this? 0:33:39.160 --> 0:33:42.320 And so I think there's a really there's a really 0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:47.080 special moment that can happen for them, the ones who 0:33:47.120 --> 0:33:49.240 come after us. But it goes the other way, and 0:33:49.280 --> 0:33:51.960 it kind of heals us in the versions of us 0:33:52.400 --> 0:33:57.360 before today as well, And it's those are the conversations 0:33:57.400 --> 0:33:59.120 I want to be having with badass women. There are 0:33:59.160 --> 0:34:01.480 parents that I know. I'm like, please stop asking her 0:34:01.560 --> 0:34:04.720 how she schedules her day and ask her like how 0:34:04.760 --> 0:34:05.600 she's putting. 0:34:07.360 --> 0:34:09.440 But that's the whole point is that, like, if you 0:34:09.840 --> 0:34:13.520 are centered in your life and therefore fulfilled, balance doesn't 0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:16.440 become a question. You don't start to wonder like, oh 0:34:16.480 --> 0:34:18.399 I should do this more or do this less, or 0:34:18.440 --> 0:34:20.040 how am I going to accomplish this? And how am 0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:22.160 I going to make sure this person feels comfortable. It's 0:34:22.200 --> 0:34:24.800 like the balance comes because you've censered yourself and therefore 0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:26.680 you know your priorities and you're going to act on those, 0:34:27.280 --> 0:34:30.799 and therefore you're happier. You don't so when people ask, oh, 0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:33.040 how do you do it all, I'm like, because I've 0:34:33.080 --> 0:34:35.640 centered myself and what I want to do, and so 0:34:35.719 --> 0:34:37.399 therefore it's like you have. 0:34:37.360 --> 0:34:38.399 A to do list? Right? 0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:41.640 Most of us do, and girl, you know that sometimes 0:34:41.640 --> 0:34:43.200 you just don't do the things at the bottom. They 0:34:43.239 --> 0:34:44.520 just keep going to the next day and the next 0:34:44.560 --> 0:34:45.800 day and the next day because you don't want to 0:34:45.840 --> 0:34:46.040 do it. 0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:48.880 Well, imagine the easiest thing that you've already done at 0:34:48.920 --> 0:34:51.000 the top. So you can start by checking something off. 0:34:51.000 --> 0:34:54.080 Well, here's what I said. Here's the revolutionary thing I said. 0:34:54.120 --> 0:34:55.239 I said, just take it off the list. 0:34:55.560 --> 0:34:57.680 Don't do it. Why do you need to do it? 0:34:57.840 --> 0:35:01.880 If there's something so terrible that you keep putting it off, 0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:04.960 then you need to take it off your list. Actually 0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.120 take it off the list, like figure out another way 0:35:07.120 --> 0:35:09.040 for somebody else to do it, Like they say, get 0:35:09.080 --> 0:35:09.839 somebody else do it. 0:35:10.080 --> 0:35:10.680 You know what I mean. 0:35:10.920 --> 0:35:13.880 If you can do that, it changes your life dynamically 0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:17.040 because then you're excited about the things. Like my list 0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:18.920 of things that I have to do today are all 0:35:18.920 --> 0:35:21.000 things I actually want to do. And that's how I 0:35:21.040 --> 0:35:24.440 balance because I'm excited about doing that. You know, when 0:35:24.440 --> 0:35:26.320 you don't want to do something, it takes you forever 0:35:26.600 --> 0:35:29.919 to do it. You know, I'm a natural procrastinator. I'll 0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:32.080 oh man, I'll be the one. I won't even look. 0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:36.440 Our whole generation of undiagnosed women with ADHD give me 0:35:36.440 --> 0:35:40.520 a break. Procrastination is my spiritual I'm I'm like, I 0:35:40.560 --> 0:35:42.160 have a deadline. Do you need me to come over 0:35:42.200 --> 0:35:43.880 and color coordinate your closet for you? 0:35:44.080 --> 0:35:45.439 I will look. 0:35:45.480 --> 0:35:47.919 And first of all, we cannot get dressed in fifteen minutes, okay, 0:35:47.960 --> 0:35:49.399 So I don't know why you're sitting on their couch. 0:35:49.480 --> 0:35:51.240 No one that's just supposed to leave him in twenty 0:35:51.320 --> 0:35:53.200 and you're still sitting there, okay, because none of. 0:35:53.239 --> 0:35:54.680 Us can do it. So I don't know why we 0:35:54.680 --> 0:35:55.560 sit around and wait. 0:35:55.920 --> 0:35:57.440 But the truth of the matter is that when you're 0:35:57.480 --> 0:36:00.520 really excited about something, you don't even have to like 0:36:00.600 --> 0:36:02.759 think about it. You want to do it right, you 0:36:02.760 --> 0:36:04.600 want to get into it, you want to accomplish a thing. 0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:07.319 And so I'm like, look, if you have a to 0:36:07.400 --> 0:36:09.880 do list and there are things on there that have 0:36:10.040 --> 0:36:12.279 moved so many times that you don't even remember when 0:36:12.280 --> 0:36:14.359 you first put it on your list, get rid of it, 0:36:14.680 --> 0:36:16.840 Like it's really that simple. Find somebody else do it, 0:36:16.880 --> 0:36:18.400 and that way you don't have to worry. 0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:23.720 It's like the anxiety inducing cleanup that comes with closing 0:36:23.719 --> 0:36:26.080 all the open tabs on your computer. Yes, exactly one 0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:29.279 day I was like, what if I just quit Safari, 0:36:31.400 --> 0:36:33.759 I'm not looking at it anyway. You're just gonna be gone. 0:36:34.280 --> 0:36:36.719 And then I'm going to open my computer and go, 0:36:36.880 --> 0:36:40.080 well that looks nice instead of uh oh, there's two 0:36:40.400 --> 0:36:45.160 tabs I just closed, Safari. Click Now that might be 0:36:45.160 --> 0:36:49.520 a lesson from this whole conversation. Close, Safari, you have you. 0:36:49.800 --> 0:36:53.279 That is the lesson today in every capacity, I'm going. 0:36:53.280 --> 0:36:55.000 To title the episode of this podcast. You have a 0:36:55.000 --> 0:36:56.760 permission slip to close your tabs. 0:36:56.880 --> 0:36:59.480 Yes, close your tabs. That's what it is in every 0:36:59.520 --> 0:37:00.960 aspect of But in. 0:37:00.920 --> 0:37:04.160 Your life you keep opening new cool ones. Yes, and 0:37:04.200 --> 0:37:09.680 I mean yes, but you know you you ran every 0:37:09.920 --> 0:37:14.520 every corporate world. Then you took time to write your 0:37:14.520 --> 0:37:18.920 book and then in a move no one expected, you 0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:21.400 were like, yeah, I'll be a real housewife. I was like, 0:37:21.480 --> 0:37:26.440 what I mean? And you're so good? But can I 0:37:26.480 --> 0:37:28.600 ask a question? And I don't mean this to be judgy, 0:37:28.680 --> 0:37:32.440 I just want to like say an observation, because genuinely, 0:37:32.600 --> 0:37:34.400 I was like, isn't that the show where like all 0:37:34.440 --> 0:37:36.879 the women yell at each other, Like Bose is not 0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.600 a yeller. She is a cheerleader. She is like a teammate, 0:37:40.080 --> 0:37:42.320 I don't think I get it. So then I decided 0:37:42.360 --> 0:37:45.160 to tune in to watch you, and I was like, Oh, 0:37:45.200 --> 0:37:48.880 she's changing the vibe of a whole industry. Is that 0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:50.200 a conscious goal for you? 0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:51.040 Absolutely? 0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:53.960 Oh, say more everything, because. 0:37:53.680 --> 0:37:55.680 Again, it just goes back to the idea of being 0:37:55.680 --> 0:38:00.319 a molecule. Right, matter exists, You're right, the understanding of 0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:03.520 what this franchise and how these women behave is a 0:38:03.600 --> 0:38:04.240 known matter. 0:38:05.000 --> 0:38:07.680 But me coming in, I'm my own molecule. 0:38:07.760 --> 0:38:10.319 I do not have to subscribe to the ways in 0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:13.319 which the matter has been because I'm there. I am 0:38:13.320 --> 0:38:15.839 that important, and I wish all of us would believe 0:38:15.880 --> 0:38:19.600 that of ourselves. And so for me, as I contemplated 0:38:20.360 --> 0:38:23.319 what I wanted to do next and how this opportunity 0:38:23.360 --> 0:38:26.840 could be beneficial to me as well as being able 0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:30.000 to put out a new idea or a new concept 0:38:30.040 --> 0:38:32.239 of how women can be, I was like, oh, hell yeah, 0:38:32.680 --> 0:38:36.239 because where are the ones who are self made, who 0:38:36.320 --> 0:38:38.600 get up and go to work, you know, who build 0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:42.080 something themselves. We're the ones who have conflict but understand 0:38:42.120 --> 0:38:45.120 how to resolve them as adults and not yell and 0:38:45.160 --> 0:38:48.359 scream and be ridiculous. We're the ones who support each 0:38:48.360 --> 0:38:51.720 other through the really hard times. Where's the truth about 0:38:51.760 --> 0:38:54.120 the mess of our lives? Where it's like, look, not 0:38:54.160 --> 0:38:57.359 everything is tied up in a bow. And I recognize that, Yes, 0:38:57.480 --> 0:39:00.319 my resume looks the way it looks, and people known 0:39:00.320 --> 0:39:02.520 me for you know what I've done in the business world, 0:39:02.600 --> 0:39:05.360 but you don't know what I'm like at home. And 0:39:05.400 --> 0:39:07.279 so why not open the door so that you can 0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:09.719 see a different way of being? And so for me, 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:14.360 I feel like there's opportunity for women who have the 0:39:14.440 --> 0:39:18.000 same type of ideal, not necessarily living the same life, 0:39:18.040 --> 0:39:20.439 not necessarily even having the same politics or the same 0:39:20.480 --> 0:39:23.799 religion or the same belief systems, but that we can 0:39:23.920 --> 0:39:27.600 have a more elevated and sophisticated way of entertaining each 0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:31.280 other by actually showing what this kind of elevated experience 0:39:31.280 --> 0:39:33.279 looks like. And the last thing I'll say about that, 0:39:33.719 --> 0:39:36.160 how many of you think Sofia would make a great housewife? 0:39:40.239 --> 0:39:40.560 Right? 0:39:41.040 --> 0:39:43.879 I mean, it totally makes sense. I wrote her an 0:39:43.880 --> 0:39:45.840 email or a text message in April. I'm telling all 0:39:45.880 --> 0:39:48.640 your business. I wrote her a text messag April. I 0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:50.520 was like, hey, I need to ask you a controversial question. 0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:51.960 She knew what I was going to ask her. She 0:39:51.960 --> 0:39:52.680 never responded. 0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:55.000 I'm telling yesterday. 0:39:54.520 --> 0:39:56.399 When she was like, oh, how did I miss this 0:39:56.480 --> 0:39:59.120 text message in April telling you about housewives? 0:39:59.160 --> 0:40:00.000 That's what I was telling you. 0:40:00.320 --> 0:40:04.399 I meant well to be clear, first of all, I 0:40:04.440 --> 0:40:07.080 am a terrible text her. So I go to text 0:40:07.080 --> 0:40:08.320 her and I'm like, oh my god, I'm so excited 0:40:08.320 --> 0:40:09.640 to get to see you tomorrow. I can't wait. And 0:40:10.480 --> 0:40:13.640 then I go controversial question April, and then I'm like, wow, 0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:15.279 we really talk more in group chats than we do 0:40:15.840 --> 0:40:19.880 the way clearly and me, I'm like, girl, what's the 0:40:19.920 --> 0:40:23.480 controversial question? I love a controversial question. She's like, I 0:40:23.520 --> 0:40:24.000 was trying to. 0:40:23.920 --> 0:40:26.160 Get you on the show exactly because I'm just like, 0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:31.239 you know, we need more women who are self possessed, 0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:36.080 who enjoy their relationships with other women, who understand conflict 0:40:36.160 --> 0:40:38.920 and drama, not because they want to put on a spectacle, 0:40:38.960 --> 0:40:41.880 but because that's just what life is, and are unafraid 0:40:42.280 --> 0:40:44.919 to talk about the hard stuff, are unafraid to show 0:40:45.000 --> 0:40:47.200 the warts in all of their lives because we are 0:40:47.239 --> 0:40:49.600 all mirroring what we see well. 0:40:49.840 --> 0:40:53.560 And the interesting thing I'm realizing watching your journey there is. 0:40:53.920 --> 0:40:56.720 What you're doing is you're modeling a healthier way. Yes, 0:40:56.880 --> 0:40:58.520 and like, isn't that what we're all trying to do 0:40:58.600 --> 0:41:01.759 all day? Anyway? I'm like, get through the time that 0:41:01.920 --> 0:41:05.280 passes and like it exactly. Just want to like my life, 0:41:05.320 --> 0:41:05.680 don't you. 0:41:06.160 --> 0:41:07.040 That's the whole point. 0:41:07.200 --> 0:41:10.319 But I also think that like having a platform where 0:41:10.360 --> 0:41:13.440 we show the relationships between women and the different ways 0:41:13.440 --> 0:41:16.399 that the relationships are is really important. I actually think 0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:21.880 like showing the more healthy way of being is really important. 0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:24.279 And that's no shade to anybody who's come before. I 0:41:24.320 --> 0:41:25.520 just think it's time for revolution. 0:41:26.480 --> 0:41:30.640 I love that, and that show has led to your 0:41:30.680 --> 0:41:34.520 next show. Yes, girl, you guys, this woman just got 0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:37.680 a casual call from Jimmy Fallon. Please tell the people 0:41:37.719 --> 0:41:40.359 what's coming. I am so excited about it now. 0:41:40.560 --> 0:41:42.600 So now here's what's now. Look at look at God. 0:41:42.680 --> 0:41:43.960 I'm gonna tell you something, Okay. 0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:46.960 So the idea of like walking in your purpose and 0:41:47.000 --> 0:41:49.040 your destiny regardless of what other people think of you 0:41:49.239 --> 0:41:52.719 is actually my testimony because you will not believe, or 0:41:52.719 --> 0:41:55.200 you probably will believe the number of people who are like, 0:41:55.280 --> 0:41:57.520 why would you go on this show Housewives when you 0:41:57.560 --> 0:41:59.800 have such an amazing career. You are a corporate batty, 0:41:59.840 --> 0:42:01.440 You're a Hall of fame, Like, why would you do that? 0:42:01.480 --> 0:42:03.880 You were ruined your reputation. And I was like, I 0:42:03.880 --> 0:42:06.239 have an idea. I'm gonna go anyway. And I went 0:42:07.360 --> 0:42:10.400 and in the literally the first episode, I show up 0:42:10.480 --> 0:42:13.000 in my glorious gown, okay, because a girl's got a sleigh, 0:42:13.040 --> 0:42:16.360 all right, And I run through my resume because I 0:42:16.360 --> 0:42:18.200 wanted them to all know who they were dealing with, 0:42:18.440 --> 0:42:20.520 you know what I'm saying, and I assert my power. 0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.719 And what I didn't know is that Jimmy Fallon and 0:42:23.760 --> 0:42:26.560 his wife Nancy were watching the show and our fans, 0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:31.440 and Jimmy had sold an idea to NBC for a 0:42:31.480 --> 0:42:35.720 reality competition that centered marketing, so think about like Shark 0:42:35.760 --> 0:42:38.600 Tank or Project Runway, but for marketing people. 0:42:39.560 --> 0:42:41.320 And he had interviewed a bunch. 0:42:41.120 --> 0:42:45.520 Of cmos who had great resumes but not the personality. 0:42:46.600 --> 0:42:48.320 They were boring okay. 0:42:48.560 --> 0:42:51.319 And then he saw me on Healthwives and I ran 0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:53.200 down my resume and he was like, oh my god, 0:42:53.239 --> 0:42:55.880 I found her. And so his people called my people 0:42:56.239 --> 0:42:58.160 and then we got on the phone and within ten 0:42:58.200 --> 0:43:01.360 minutes we had agreed that we were going to film 0:43:01.400 --> 0:43:04.560 a new show together. It's called On Brand. It launches 0:43:04.600 --> 0:43:09.920 in September, premieres on NBC, and it's a magical show 0:43:10.040 --> 0:43:15.359 because I love the idea that beautiful, creative ideas can 0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:17.400 come from anywhere. You know, there are contestants on the 0:43:17.440 --> 0:43:20.040 show who are There's one who's like a real estate agent. 0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:21.360 There's one who's a swim instructor. 0:43:21.360 --> 0:43:23.720 There's one who's a marketing professor, like so he actually 0:43:23.719 --> 0:43:27.839 academically understands the business. But it's wonderful because every week 0:43:27.880 --> 0:43:30.480 a new brand comes, gives a brief, and then the 0:43:30.560 --> 0:43:33.000 contestants have to come up with creative ideas. 0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.680 And what's amazing is that, like, I cannot tell. 0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:38.400 You the number of people that when you know I 0:43:38.440 --> 0:43:40.960 worked at Uber, I worked at PEPSI, I worked at Apple, 0:43:41.280 --> 0:43:43.840 would like, you know, tag me in a comment or 0:43:43.960 --> 0:43:46.279 like ping me, or god forbid, I was in an 0:43:46.280 --> 0:43:48.600 airport somebody recognized me and would be like, I have 0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.600 an idea for a new soda, I have an idea 0:43:51.760 --> 0:43:53.480 for a new way, for a new tech idea. I 0:43:53.480 --> 0:43:56.200 have a new idea for an Apple product. And I'm like, Okay, 0:43:56.239 --> 0:43:58.759 fantastic now I have a show and people can do 0:43:58.800 --> 0:44:01.520 that and it's actually entertaining, and so for me, it's 0:44:01.800 --> 0:44:05.120 an exciting new chapter in my life. And to be 0:44:05.160 --> 0:44:09.400 able to do that and marry my marketing expertise with 0:44:10.200 --> 0:44:13.839 an entertaining show and Jimmy Fallon is incredible. I mean, 0:44:13.920 --> 0:44:17.200 just thought of the earth guys, sweetest oh, an amazing 0:44:17.280 --> 0:44:21.720 human being who really really cares and is excited about 0:44:22.239 --> 0:44:24.440 life and excited about ideas, and so it is really 0:44:24.480 --> 0:44:26.239 a pleasure to agree with him. 0:44:26.760 --> 0:44:28.799 Obviously we get to the show in September, but that 0:44:28.840 --> 0:44:32.520 feels long. I want to know, and maybe it's a 0:44:32.520 --> 0:44:34.680 crazy question to ask, but I know there's so many 0:44:34.680 --> 0:44:39.319 business owners in this audience. Is there a piece of 0:44:39.480 --> 0:44:43.400 marketing advice or brand advice? Yes, that you think is 0:44:43.440 --> 0:44:46.560 the most important thing? Yes, for a business owner to know? 0:44:46.840 --> 0:44:49.960 Absolutely? Okay again, lean in everybody, all right, We're going 0:44:50.000 --> 0:44:53.399 to talk about this because it is a hard thing 0:44:53.440 --> 0:44:55.680 to do and it's a hard team to believe. Which 0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:59.239 is that most of us create because we see a 0:44:59.320 --> 0:45:01.480 need in the market and we want to fill the space. 0:45:01.760 --> 0:45:02.000 Right. 0:45:03.280 --> 0:45:06.480 The challenge is that we're too wide, you know. So 0:45:06.680 --> 0:45:09.840 the idea that marketing or the thing that you've created 0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:12.560 needs to apply to everyone is a lie because there 0:45:12.560 --> 0:45:15.720 are a bulls eye, and so you need a bullseye target, 0:45:16.120 --> 0:45:19.960 secondary target, tertiary target. Right now, the bulls eye is 0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:22.920 where all the magic is. And guess what it's actually you. 0:45:23.960 --> 0:45:27.439 So I recognize that we make something and we're like, oh, 0:45:27.640 --> 0:45:30.560 but I want to get to the widest audience possible. No, 0:45:30.800 --> 0:45:32.560 the idea is that they actually need to fall in love. 0:45:33.480 --> 0:45:35.800 And so consider that your product, your idea, is a 0:45:35.880 --> 0:45:38.680 human and that human is based on you, and get 0:45:38.680 --> 0:45:41.279 the people to fall in love with that. That's how 0:45:41.320 --> 0:45:43.920 you actually make the change. And so in every company 0:45:43.960 --> 0:45:46.279 I've been in, whether it has been as big as 0:45:46.360 --> 0:45:49.239 Uber or even in creating eve by Bo's, it's like 0:45:49.600 --> 0:45:53.560 the detail of what I'm doing has me in it. 0:45:53.640 --> 0:45:57.200 The ideas are born from this brain, from this heart, 0:45:57.239 --> 0:46:01.320 from these experiences. And so the one piece of marketing 0:46:01.360 --> 0:46:03.799 advice I'll give you is that you need to make 0:46:03.840 --> 0:46:08.960 your target small and it needs to be centered on you. 0:46:10.120 --> 0:46:11.120 Thank you. 0:46:11.120 --> 0:46:14.280 You're welcome marketing class. 0:46:14.400 --> 0:46:18.640 Exactly, I'm like, welcome to my lectures here. Okay, we 0:46:18.760 --> 0:46:24.520 are coming up on time. I want to know I 0:46:24.560 --> 0:46:27.400 can't imagine you adding anything else to the list, but 0:46:27.480 --> 0:46:29.920 I have a feeling you will when you look out 0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:33.319 at the rest of your summer, the rest of your 0:46:33.320 --> 0:46:38.680 twenty twenty five, when you think about what more you want, yes, 0:46:39.200 --> 0:46:43.480 or what you're looking forward to? Yeah, what's the center 0:46:43.600 --> 0:46:45.239 that feels like you're work in progress? 0:46:46.719 --> 0:46:47.839 Okay, So here's the thing. 0:46:50.440 --> 0:46:54.480 Oftentimes people ask me, like, you know, who I'm inspired by, 0:46:55.800 --> 0:46:58.000 and they think it's going to be an answer like 0:46:58.239 --> 0:47:00.880 my mother or something like that, and my mom, but 0:47:00.960 --> 0:47:01.560 she's not it. 0:47:02.280 --> 0:47:04.960 I'm it. The eighty year old version of me is 0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:05.920 who I'm inspired by. 0:47:06.880 --> 0:47:08.759 The woman who's going to be sitting there and being 0:47:08.800 --> 0:47:10.360 like child, Let me tell you about the story, let 0:47:10.400 --> 0:47:12.520 me tell you what I did. That's the person I'm 0:47:12.560 --> 0:47:15.839 working for, the person that I am trying to impress, 0:47:16.239 --> 0:47:19.520 because everything that I do has to have that level 0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:22.640 of excitement. And so I don't have a five year 0:47:22.680 --> 0:47:24.920 plan or a ten year plan. You know, people always 0:47:24.920 --> 0:47:26.359 say like, oh, well, you've got to make a plan 0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:28.640 to hit you know, the target. The truth of the 0:47:28.680 --> 0:47:33.840 matter is that it is more ethereal than that. You know, 0:47:33.920 --> 0:47:37.640 this existence that we have is not built on the 0:47:38.000 --> 0:47:41.680 sequential order of how we think the universe exists. It 0:47:41.760 --> 0:47:44.440 is more magical than that. And so you have to 0:47:44.520 --> 0:47:47.200 open yourself up to the possibilities of what is going 0:47:47.280 --> 0:47:49.480 to come for you, and you have to move boldly 0:47:49.560 --> 0:47:52.799 in that direction. And so ten years ago when I 0:47:52.880 --> 0:47:54.799 met you, could I have imagined that I'd be a 0:47:54.840 --> 0:47:57.520 real housewife and then I'd have a show with Jimmy Fallon. 0:47:57.560 --> 0:47:58.200 Absolutely not. 0:47:58.719 --> 0:48:00.920 Yeah, But the truth is that I didn't have a 0:48:00.960 --> 0:48:03.200 ten year plan which told me, Okay, by that time, 0:48:03.239 --> 0:48:05.160 you need to be CEO of this company and blah blah, 0:48:05.160 --> 0:48:08.480 blah blah. I left myself open to the possibilities. I mean, 0:48:08.719 --> 0:48:11.640 such a better place than what I would have imagined. 0:48:12.000 --> 0:48:14.000 And I also this is when I get through through. 0:48:14.040 --> 0:48:16.920 But you know, I believe in the power of God, 0:48:17.800 --> 0:48:19.960 you know, and I believe that the destiny that I 0:48:20.080 --> 0:48:24.120 have is written in a way that is unimaginable to me. 0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:27.480 So why would I think that I could orchestrate it. 0:48:28.200 --> 0:48:30.480 My job is to walk by faith, and that's what 0:48:30.560 --> 0:48:32.560 I do every single day. So people look at my 0:48:32.600 --> 0:48:34.839 resume or say, oh my gosh, do you do such 0:48:34.880 --> 0:48:37.400 big things or how do these amazing opportunities come, and 0:48:37.400 --> 0:48:40.120 I'm like, because I'm walking by faith, I'm walking in 0:48:40.200 --> 0:48:43.840 the direction, and I am not encumbered by a plan 0:48:43.920 --> 0:48:46.600 that I have because my imagination is way too small 0:48:46.719 --> 0:48:47.440 for that. Right. 0:48:49.640 --> 0:48:53.920 You always hear people talk about, oh, beyond your wildest dreams. Yeah, 0:48:53.960 --> 0:48:57.439 and someone said to me years ago, make sure your 0:48:57.480 --> 0:49:00.480 wildest dreams aren't a box you put your yourself in. 0:49:01.320 --> 0:49:06.279 Look and absolutely, look where we are today. I'm so 0:49:06.320 --> 0:49:08.400 happy to know you. I love you. Thank you for 0:49:08.480 --> 0:49:08.960 coming and. 0:49:08.960 --> 0:49:13.279 Inspiring young right, thank you so much for having me. 0:49:13.320 --> 0:49:16.200 I appreciate it, and I wish you all a very 0:49:16.520 --> 0:49:18.640 urgent life. If that's the one thing that you can 0:49:18.680 --> 0:49:21.200 take away from this is center yourself in your life. 0:49:21.280 --> 0:49:23.879 Make sure you are urgent about the things that you're doing, 0:49:23.920 --> 0:49:25.880 and make sure that you're doing it for you and 0:49:25.920 --> 0:49:27.439 not the expectation of anyone else. 0:49:28.000 --> 0:49:28.680 God bless you. 0:49:29.719 --> 0:49:30.360 Thank you both.