1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,519 Speaker 1: All right, guys, this time now for my Strawberry letter 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: and listen. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: read this one today, right here, right now, Junior, do 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: the honors. Please in for the suspended sit beat, buckle 8 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: up and hold old. We got it for you. Don't 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: bear it. Thank you, Junior. In for the suspended subject. 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: Good things do not come in small packages. Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: I am a mother of two beautiful kids and have 12 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: been married for eight years. When I met my husband, 13 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: life was great and out of nowhere. He swooped in 14 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: and stole my heart. We dated for a good while 15 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: before he proposed, and I withhell sex until I got 16 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: the ring. It's like we knew we were soul mates 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: when we met, so he did not mind waiting until 18 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: we were engaged to have sex. He took on my 19 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: two children as his own, and we had planned on 20 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 1: having one more child together. That was before marriage. Now 21 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: eight years later, things are different. The problem is, well, 22 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: he's not well endowed, and sex with him is awful. 23 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 1: I knew this beforehand, but married him anyway because I 24 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 1: loved him and hoped it would get better. I was 25 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: so used to my ex husband's great sex and thought 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: that I could get this guy to do some different 27 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: things to please me. But nothing ever worked. I have 28 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 1: not had one pleasurable encounter with this man since we 29 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: started having sex, and now I'm getting bored and I'm 30 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: in need of more. I don't want to leave the 31 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: marriage because of the family life we have created for 32 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: my children. My husband is a hard worker, a Christian man, 33 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: and a great provider, but we have not had sex 34 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: in a very long time. We don't hug and kiss 35 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: anymore either. I'm aware that sex is a very important 36 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: part of marriage, and usually men cheat when they aren't 37 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: being satisfied at home. But I'm pretty sure my husband 38 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: isn't cheating. I never faked it during or after sex, 39 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: but I also never told him how horrible it was. 40 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: I'm sure it hurts him as a man to know 41 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: that he can't please his wife. I don't want to 42 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: be a cheater, but I long for some intense, great 43 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: sex regularly. What's a girl to do. Can you offer 44 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: any advice on this situation. Well, first of all, I 45 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: have to tell you that you have every right within 46 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: your marriage to want intense, great sex. I mean, that's 47 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: part of the reason a lot of people get married. 48 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: But in your particular situation, it doesn't look like that's 49 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: going to happen. Because you said you've talked to him, 50 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I would suggest that you have a serious 51 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: conversation with your Husbandman, after eight years of marriage, you 52 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: owe him and you owe yourself that you do have 53 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 1: a right to be satisfied sexually. The thing is, you 54 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: knew this before you married him, and you married him 55 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: anyway because you thought, as you say, things would get better. 56 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: We've talked about this. I can't tell you how many 57 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: times we've talked about this on this show, about how 58 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: women think that we can always change a man. We 59 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: always think that you knew this going in. Well, we 60 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: can't change them, I mean, and how well you know 61 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: it now? I mean the time for you to have 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: dealt with this matter, and it's very serious. I don't 63 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: mean to make light of it. This is a very 64 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: serious issue right here, but it was you should have 65 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: dealt with this before before you got married and after 66 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: you got the ring, because you said you held out 67 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: sex at least until you got the ring. So I say, 68 00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: the next time you guys are getting intimate, you have 69 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: to lay down the law. You have to teach him. 70 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: You've got to show him and guide him into doing 71 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: what you like. You all have to have a serious 72 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,119 Speaker 1: conversation about this, even though you said that you've done 73 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: that in the past and it didn't work. So I mean, 74 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 1: you got to try it again. You have to, I mean, 75 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: because I can't see the only alternative is to cheat 76 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: or divorce him. You don't want to do either of 77 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: those things, and you don't want him to do it either. Steve, Well, well, 78 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: well we got a problem, Hill. Good things do not 79 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: come in small packages. No, it don't. You really don't. 80 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: Your problem is you've been married for eight years, you 81 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: got two beautiful kids. Your husband that you met, he 82 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: swooped and stole your heart. Dated for a good little 83 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: while before he proposed. You didn't wait it or you 84 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: had with hell sex till you got to read. You know, 85 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: because you knew you were soul mates. He mind waiting 86 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: until he's engaged to have sex. He didn't mind waiting 87 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: until we were engaged to have set hell because he knew. 88 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: He knew that when y'all did have it, he wasn't 89 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: gonna be worse for them one more time. He knew 90 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:27,799 Speaker 1: the reason he didn't mind what to have sex it's called. 91 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: He knew it wasn't gonna be worth for damn when 92 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: you did. You ain't the first person he didn't disappoint it. 93 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: Oh no, that's why everything else is in order. He 94 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: ain't welling, died, and sex with him is awful, not bad. 95 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: A W I you l if you break them two 96 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: words down A W Joh, I can't do the other. Yeah, 97 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 1: but few is the first two initials in that all 98 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: as funny as hell? But I can't say now. I 99 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: knew this before him. I knew this beforehand, But I 100 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: married him anyway because I loved him and I hoped 101 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: it would get better. How does real bad sex ever 102 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: get better? Yeah? How I'll be back. Let's recap today's 103 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: strawberry letter good things, Well, you're not coming small pack 104 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: ain't much of a recap. He ain't packing. She heard 105 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,239 Speaker 1: about him, it's awful, so she didn't have sex until 106 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: she got the room. He didn't mind waiting until we 107 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: was engaged. Any man, don't mind waiting. Know it ain't 108 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: worth a damn what he I might as well just 109 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: ride this out. You don't want to have sex right now? Okay? Cool? 110 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: I just keep talking to you. Let me take her 111 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: of your kids, let me buy him something, Let me 112 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: care you shoppy so I could get you to fall 113 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: in love with me, because after we do it, it's sober. 114 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: But he's a good man, though, Steven, don't abody give 115 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: a damn about that. Yeah, it's nice and he's a 116 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: good man. It's real great. But she wants her she 117 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: wants she wants her head to be on her eyes 118 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: and the back of her head. Yeah, she needs some 119 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: things going on. Well, the problem is he ain't well 120 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: and dial sex is awful. I knew it before, but 121 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: I married him anyway because I loved him. I hoped 122 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: it will get better. I was so used to my 123 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: ex hood and great sex. Now heat didn't lad he 124 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: didn't left her lasting impression great sex from your ex husband. 125 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: I thought I could get this guy to do some 126 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: different things to please me. Oh he won't to, but 127 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: he just ain't got what it takes. Now here's what 128 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: I suggest you gotta get some equipment in that bad room, 129 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: and he got to be comfortable using it. We got 130 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: to get some equipment. And based on where this letter 131 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: going in, I'm gonna give you a suggestion or some 132 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: equipment you can use. And this ain't stuff you buy 133 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: down at the adult bookstore. You need a bull saw. 134 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: What you need to come inside with someone with a 135 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: lot of noise. You need that type of thing going 136 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: on while you need to see if you can go 137 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: down home deeper and wrench yourself a Jack Himmel. You 138 00:08:54,360 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: need to find out how much your hedgehoule costs? What hedgehoule? Yeah, 139 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 1: and you definitely needs to buy or weed either or 140 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: anything with either on it. But you got to do something. 141 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: You've got to do something. I don't want to lead 142 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: the manage cause him. We've cause of the family life 143 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: you created from my children. He's a hard worker, he's 144 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: a Christian man and great provider, great provider. What because 145 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: the one thing you want, he damn she ain't got that. 146 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: But he's a great befid we have had we ain't 147 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: had sex in a long time. We don't hug all 148 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 1: kids because he don't want them to get started. So 149 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: you get to hug any kiss, and you probably gonna 150 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: want some more. So he ain't trying to even touch 151 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: you because he's sicker to look on your face. And 152 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,599 Speaker 1: he looked down at you, and you just got that 153 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: that that you know, how you cock your smile to 154 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: one side. She got that look on his face. This 155 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: ain't gonna work. We don't hug and kiss now. I'm 156 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: aware that sex is very important part of a marriage, 157 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 1: and usually men don't and usually me and cheat when 158 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: they ain't getting satisfied at home. But I don't think 159 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: my husband is cheating. I ain't never faked it doing 160 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: or after sex where you probably should have. You got 161 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,839 Speaker 1: that at least try to make him think he didn't done. 162 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: So I'm kim. One holler, just one damn holler. But 163 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: I've also never told him how horrible it is. Lady, 164 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 1: Please don't do that to him. Don't do that to him. 165 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: Don't tell this man how horrible he is without crushing. 166 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: Without Yeah that's crushing. But you gotta have the stuff 167 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,839 Speaker 1: in place to tell him what he needs to bring 168 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: in that because he needed some type of toolbox. He's 169 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 1: not gonna figure it out. This man needs some type 170 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: of toolbox, something with some I resented, something that make 171 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: noise and something that you like. That's the only thing 172 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: that's gonna save this. I really feel bad for you, ma'am, 173 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: because I don't want to be a Cheatah, but I 174 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: longed for some intense grade sex regularly, and he don't 175 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: have it. He ain't even gonna get you the intense part. 176 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 1: You're getting nothing. That's no intensity. He ain't gonna come 177 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: in that growl, and he ain't gonna army crawled up 178 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: to bed. He ain't gonna do none of that. He 179 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: ain't gonna bust out the bad room like he tars in. 180 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: He's not doing any of that. Fit to just be 181 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: sitting up in here now. I don't want to be 182 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: a cheatah, but I longed for some intense grade sex regularly. Well, 183 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to start cheating because it ain't that well. 184 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: I ain't telling that she gonna do it. I'm telling 185 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 1: you what she's gonna end up doing it. I'm not 186 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: suggested she do it. I just predict this is where 187 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: it's going because homeboy efn change it. There's only equipment 188 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 1: will help her. Yeah, I mean, he ain't got no 189 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:17,599 Speaker 1: now she just said, little batty, I'm sorry. What you 190 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: want me to do? I don't know. Yeah, I don't 191 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: want it to get a man. But you know, he 192 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: got to come in there. He got to learn how 193 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: you use all these toys. All right. Listen, he gots 194 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: to come in he need help, all right. Listen. Guys, 195 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 1: email us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on Today's Strawberry 196 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, or check out the Strawberry 197 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand you're listening to