WEBVTT - How to Make a Match 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell, I Suck at Dating with de Nungler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.880 Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.720 Welcome to help I suck at dating? And per our 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:18.000 usual format, these days, we have some incredible guests joining us. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.400 We have Tanna Gilmore and Kelly Fisher. Um, I hope 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:25.520 I'm saying, is it Tanna? Yeah? Right? Yeah? Nice? You 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:28.120 guys are the match making do oh, thank you so 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.200 much for joining us. We appreciate it. Thanks for having us. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:34.080 We're so excited to be here. It's happy to talk 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.880 about dating. Oh my gosh, Well that's all we talk about. 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:40.080 Help I suck at dating? Um, so, I guess I 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.320 gotta ask you guys help people suck at dating? Suck 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:45.959 less at dating? Then? Yeah, that's our specialty. People come 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.839 to us suck at dating. Okay, well here we are. 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.680 We suck at dating. Help us. No, I'm just kidding. Actually, 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:55.280 uh we do. We do that. We suck and we 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:56.800 do take all the help we can get. But so, 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:59.120 tell us what do you guys typically specialize in, Like 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.240 you guys help people wink up and meet or is 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.440 it more of like let's say people already dating and 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.720 you help them kind of navigate those waters. Yeah, I 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:11.399 would say we specialize and very successful singles actually who 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:14.920 have really you know, put all of the time into 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.880 their career and building you know, their place in the 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.560 in the industry and in corporate America. Some celebrities, and 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:23.240 then all of a sudden they turn around, they're like, wait, 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.560 I haven't had a date in like five years, seven years. 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:27.160 I mean it goes up and up and up for 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.600 a lot of first you know time serial daters. They 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.000 just can't get past the first date. You know, so 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:36.200 they get they meet people, but we always say, okay, 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.600 they have no skills. For whatever reason, it just never 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:42.280 moves on. So we specialize and probably those two. Yeah, 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.319 and you know we're interestingly enough. The pulse in the 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.559 culture of dating, you know, it changes like every year. 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:51.160 It's so different. Like some people they may have been 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.000 in a relationship for you know, four or five years 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:55.720 or whatever, and now they've been out of the game 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:57.680 for a minute, they're like, whoa, whoa, what is this? 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:59.840 What's all this text and foolishness, let's all this go 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.640 stint foolitionist, Like they have no idea how to even 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.240 maneuver in the in the dating space. So we have 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:06.880 to kind of bring them up to speed on what 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:09.160 dating is like today because it's different than what it 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:13.720 was last year. Even Yeah, absolutely, it's funny, uh because 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:16.080 we were just talking to Deandrew about being signal in 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.440 Los Angeles and how difficult it can be sometimes. But 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:20.640 it's mostly it comes down to the guys. I feel 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:24.600 like I just don't know how to act, you know, 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:27.520 Like I feel like it's it's it's like they're not 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:30.320 opening conversations. Maybe they don't know how to carry on 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.600 a conversation, how to bridge the gap from the first 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:34.639 meeting into the first day into the second day, and 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:35.919 all those kind of things. So what do you kind 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:37.640 of see as like the biggest roadblock in a lot 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:39.639 of those things. Is it really just meeting the people 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.280 or is it what's like the biggest difficulty? You know, 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:46.800 I would say that especially prefer some of the guys 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.000 that come to us. A lot of them are socially awkward. 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:51.000 Like we get a lot of tech eas I mean 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.960 they're they're sit behind a computer all day long and 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.800 they they you know, interface with the computer. They're not 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.320 really front facing with the public, so they don't they 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:02.080 lack those social skills. They come to us and say, 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:03.520 you know, I don't even know what to say to women. 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.520 I don't know what to you know, even how to 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.160 approach her, Like what do I know? Help me? And 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:09.960 so you know, they don't they don't know, They just 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:12.079 don't know. So we provide them with those skills as 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:14.080 to like what do you say when you approach her? 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.160 Like we're like lead with a compliment and like who 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:19.840 what compliment? So those types of of things we help 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.400 with as well. Um, so I guess what is your 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.720 success rate of like people who just like randomly approach 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:27.080 you and then you get them into an actual relationship, 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:28.760 Like how often do you see that? Or do you 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:31.160 just like help them launch into like the dating world 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.120 in general, or do you like walk them through an 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.640 entire relationship. Yeah, so we have an eight seven percent 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:39.160 success rate. It kind of varies with a couple of points. 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:40.680 But I mean a lot of people come to us 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.200 for different things that we offer date coaching. So, like 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:44.760 we said, a lot of times people don't even know 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.120 where to begin. They don't have any conversation, you know, 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:48.960 they're just like, you know, what do what do I 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.240 even say? If someone says, you know, tell me about yourself. 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.360 So we're starting from there. So if that's what they 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:55.360 come to us for, then we say it's a success 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:58.200 if they've gotten out in their dating and they're successful. Um. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.000 But we also have people who just you know, don't 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.320 have a chance to meet anybody, and so we introduced 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.560 them and we actually have our we call them lovely aison. 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:08.120 So we have some staff that there's social lights. They 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:10.120 go out all the time and they bring out singles 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.880 for us to interview and we actually do, um, introduce 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:18.760 them to matches until um, we find a suitable match. Thanks, 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.600 you guys have really been you guys get a whole 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:26.360 empire out there. It sounds like, yeah, we're building legacy here. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.640 How did you guys get into this? You know it's interesting. 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:34.760 We knew you're gonna ask that questions. So so Kenny 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:37.839 and I were both um senior vps in corporate where 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.599 we used to be marketing and advertising executives. So we 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.359 used some market products and services. Now we market people. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:48.440 But how how we morphed into this business? Though? Um, 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.320 we would be surprised at the end of a presentation 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.160 like these C level executives will have us hemmed up 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.360 in the corner telling us all of their personal business, 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:58.920 and we were like, did you hear with this person's 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.400 Like we could not believe they would just like release 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:04.000 everything to us. And we would just sit down with them, 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.960 like pull up a chair and just kick our feet 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:07.640 up and just have a conversation and kind of help 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:11.280 them get through it. And this happened like every single time, 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:14.200 and so we realized that, you know, we're pretty good 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:16.360 at this. And until and then we also went through 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:19.360 our own personal relationships struggles and kind of coached each other, 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:21.719 helped each other with it, and we decided, you know what, 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.239 let's let's do this full time. Let's go back to school, 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:28.760 let's get credential and launch our business. And here we are. Nice, 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:30.960 I love it and you guys are crushing it. Yeah, 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:34.279 thank you. Blew up to New York and once to 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:37.960 the Matchmaking Institute, we became certified and the rest is history. 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.240 That was like almost ten years ago. So Nice, I've 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.599 got a question. We we talked about it amongst ourselves 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.440 a little bit earlier. What's you guys stance on dating apps? 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:49.520 Because they become so apparent and dating culture these days, 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.960 So what you guys is like opinion of them. Yeah, 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.360 we love dating apps. I think it's a great way. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.440 I think we embraced them. So even when people come 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:58.400 to us and say I'd love to get on dating apps, 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.280 can you help, and we help them with their booth file. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.719 We helped them right there, summaries so that it's fun 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:04.760 and flirty. Sometimes they come in with like a LinkedIn 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.000 kind of boring you know summary, but it has to 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:09.840 be like conversational. So again it's like you know, you're 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:11.800 going in for an interview and people are looking at 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:13.680 your pictures and all of that. So we think it's 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.200 it's a great way to meet people. But again, like 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:18.440 a lot of people come to us and say, I 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.440 can't meet someone, whether it's you know, Atlanta, whether it's 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:24.240 l a where it just really depends on the skills too. 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.760 So you have to be like open to having conversation. 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.279 You have to be more assertive, um, and you have 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:30.920 to be kind of flirtatious to keep it out of 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:34.840 the friend zone. You know. It's interesting because we um 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.640 embrace like the dating sites and the dating apps. And 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.159 I met my husband on a dating site like twenty 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:42.280 years ago. Like I was probably the only one on 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:44.920 a dating site twenty years ago. They were like they 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:47.640 were dating, they were dating sites twenty years ago. Yes, 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.120 we met on a dating site twenty years ago, so 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.760 of course, you know, I embrace it. But it's just 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.960 all about the approach. I mean, where else are you 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:58.600 going to have access to that many singles in the 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:02.400 palm of your hand? Swiping, swiping, swiping, I mean you're 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.960 never going to see that many singles probably rowing the 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.719 same way as you anywhere else in the country, But 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:21.520 on an app, there's thousands right at your fingertips. Do 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:23.520 you think it's been a detriment to dating at all 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:25.640 or do you think it's helped it? Uh? In the 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.760 big picture of things, I think I think that people 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:30.400 have gotten lazy though, you know, they sit there and 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.800 it prevents them from actually like going out and interacting 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:37.760 and having the actual you know, build up the courage 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:41.920 to socialize and introduce yourself and start a conversation. And 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.040 that's the organic way that it used to be, right, 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:48.920 But the apps have absolutely I think, um, it made 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:50.560 people lazy where they can just kind of sit on 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:53.040 their couch, jink a glass, inline, kick their feet up 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.080 and just swipe, swipe, swape, swapes said, they're a cute 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.880 swipe swipes, you know, I mean, and then they just 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:01.240 want to have these electron and put morphs into an 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:05.400 electronic relationship. So you know, they they sometimes they never 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.720 get out and actually meet, They never get on the phone. 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.120 They just kind of have this electronic relationship. Well, you 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.360 can't build an emotional connection that way unless you actually 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.560 have face time or phone time. Yeah, I think there's 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.119 a downside to it also. I mean I see where 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.840 people because you can have another date tomorrow, they never 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.160 make a decision. So I mean you can have somebody 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:25.720 wonderful in front of you and you're like, well maybe 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:27.640 if I swipe again, you know, there might be someone else. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:29.640 It's like, you have someone great right in front of you, like, 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.440 just go for it. But because there's so many choices, 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:34.280 you know, people just keep going and they're like, now 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.200 I think I'm gonna date three or four people and 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.240 just continue going. When you have somebody, like when you 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.800 have somebody great, it's hard to realize you know, I 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.000 have someone I need. You know, that's it for getting 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:45.840 out of the app, because I have friends who go 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.240 on apps and they have these relationships built and then 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:50.800 actually getting out into the real world and like taking 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.640 that next step is really inflating because you feel kind 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:58.360 of safe and exactly, Yeah, you can kind of hide 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:00.960 behind the app. So we always encourage our clients too, 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:02.720 because they want to keep texting on the app. So 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:04.720 the whole point of being on the app is getting 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.559 off of it and having a conversation. But it's so 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:08.840 much easier. I mean, like we always say it's easier 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:10.760 to text too. We try to get our clients off 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.079 of texting and like onto the phone. So when you 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.320 get onto the phone or you're actually meeting somebody on 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:18.040 the date, that's when you know, the real skills come out. 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:21.160 So that's kind of where we come in. Yeah, it's 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:24.760 interesting because that's where it does prevent them from utilizing 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.719 social skills because they don't really have to. So you 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:30.200 lose those social skills if you don't use them, you know, 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:34.160 like you know repeatedly, you just you lose them. Yeah, absolutely, 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:36.160 And what do you guys advise as far as like 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.679 when people are dating, if they're dating multiple people, when 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:40.840 do you advise, Like, okay, maybe at like one month, 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:42.840 two months, three months, that's when you need to decide 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:44.040 whether or not you want to take it to a 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.160 different level of this person, Like what's your timeline as 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:48.520 far as dating or is there no timeline? And when 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.080 you believe that people are wasting their time. Yeah, I 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:54.440 don't think that you know, there's an actual timeline. It 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:57.160 just depends on if you both have the same end goal. 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.200 So if you're dating three people, we always say we 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.839 have three are we have we for our clients to 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:05.480 date three in rotation? We say three in rotation, right, 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.480 but it has to be three growing the same way, 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.040 three with the same end goal. And then they'll start 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:14.760 to eliminate themselves. You'll start to feel where you feel 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.520 closest to that individual with you know, you'll start to 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.880 feel that experiences there and you're like, you know, I 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:21.319 just kind of like this on a little bit more 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.959 than that one, and they'll eliminate themselves eventually. So I 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.560 don't know that there's certainly like a timeline, but you 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:30.160 certainly don't want to waste time with just random dating 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.200 for no reason. Most people that come to us are 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:35.200 dating with intention. They have an intention to enter into 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.640 a long term relationship or eventually marriage. So we don't 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.680 encourage you to just be dating just to be dating, 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.079 so have an end goal in mind and see who 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.360 whose goal aligns with yours. Yeah, you mentioned too that 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.040 you talk to like, uh, maybe it's like some executives 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:50.880 or something after meetings and stuff like that. I could 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.360 imagine those people being kind of more picky when it 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.839 comes to who they choose to day. So how do 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.240 you navigate that when someone's maybe being like super picky 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:00.719 or uh, not being very sponsive to a lot of 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.240 the advice you're giving. Do you guys ever deal with 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.800 that kind of stuff? Yeah, I mean we have clients 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:06.400 who I mean, if anybody could be a fly on 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.160 the wall, which I think is a good thing about 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.559 this show. I mean, could to see like the list 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.440 that come to us when people who are then all 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:15.440 the laundry lists of things that the person has to be, 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.400 the person has to bring, and then we kind of 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.160 turned the tables on them and like okay, well what 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:22.720 are you bringing? And it's like crickets. So we really 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.440 like them to to really take some time because you know, 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.560 when you go out on a date, people are looking 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:29.560 both ways, so it's not like you're going we call 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.640 it a date re view, so you're not going in 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:33.960 to interview this person and then just leave like you 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.480 have to have something to share also, so we kind 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.960 of give them that information that you want to really 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.200 hone in on what you're bringing to the table that's 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.440 different from everybody else. Yeah, but you know what, so 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.800 so UM and answer your question. The corporate UM people 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:49.600 especially like the men and so not to pick on men, 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.439 because we love our male clients, but they the more 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.959 money they have, the more picky and demanding they are. 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:56.760 They want to come in and say, you know, I 0:11:56.840 --> 0:12:01.160 want someone um that have this certain ways to hip ratio. 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.319 You know, we're like, what what you know? First of all, 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:07.040 you know what, she has two kids, it's going to expand, right, 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:11.000 so you understand that that's how this works? Or are 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.240 you going to pay to keep that that body up? 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:16.000 I mean, so they come in with those types of demands. 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:17.480 It seems like the more money they have, the more 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.240 demands they have, and they feel like we can We're 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.840 just magicians. We can just you know, okay, here you go. 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.720 Here's like a lot of them that meet your criteria. 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.199 You go. But that's not how matchmaking works. So it 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.199 sounds like you have to often encourage them maybe that's 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.920 like lower their standards, but to shift their standards a 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:37.800 little bit more realistic, which is a hard conversation to 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.120 have because people think, you know, the more money they 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.520 have that they can command a certain type of person, 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.000 which sometimes they can and sometimes they can. So that's 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.800 a tough conversation behind like you know, four walls. It's 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:51.840 not so funny to think about too, because like, obviously 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:53.520 money can buy you so many things in life, but 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.400 at the end of the day, it's like it can't 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:56.880 really help you there. I mean, you would be like, 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.600 help you get your foot in the door, but at 0:12:58.600 --> 0:12:59.599 the end of the day, it's not gonna give you 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:03.040 exactly what you want, right, it's not now. But you know, 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:06.600 we have to have those conversations pretty often. Yeah, there 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:09.160 are people that you guys help or won't help. So 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:10.959 like you're like, well, we won't help any this one 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:12.719 this young, or we won't help anyone this older. Is 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.240 it like anyone under the sun? Like you guys healthy. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.480 You know, let's say they're range of people that come 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.760 to us are like between twenty nine and fifty five. 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:22.160 You know, usually I would say the sweets abot is 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.679 between in the thirties, um early forties. But you know, 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.240 it's not really about the age that we won't help us, 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.520 more about the personality. So a lot of people will 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.480 come in and tell us like, you know, kind of 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:35.040 trying to take over our process, and we're like, you know, 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:37.600 you're in our community, that you're in our world, so 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.360 you're gonna have to if this hasn't been working, you're 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:40.760 gonna have to take some advice from us. So a 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:42.520 lot of times the ones that we won't take are 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.320 the ones that just don't listen. So it's gonna be hard, 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.400 like pulling teeth back and forth trying to tell them 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:50.160 something they're not listening. So we don't even take the 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.040 kind of we always say, are you coachable? So if 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:55.280 you're not coachable, it doesn't matter what. It's not gonna work, 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:57.840 you know. But I will tell you though this year, 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.040 probably last year, over the last couple of years, we've 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:06.800 gotten younger and younger clients. Like our sweet spot is 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:10.080 somewhere around the forty range, because these are career people 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.800 that have, like like Kelly mentioned earlier, they've taken the 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:16.560 fast track out of college to like advanced you know, degrees, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:18.960 and then they've climbed the corporate ladder and they roll 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.760 over and like there's nobody here. There kids, there's no spouse, 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:24.800 there's no you know, and so those and then that's 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.040 when they are waving the white flag, and that's when 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:29.120 they come to us. But here recently, like in this 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:32.800 last year, we've gotten like twenty four year old and like, 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.400 you know, si year old. I mean that's young for 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.520 someone to say, you know whoa I I don't know 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.360 what I'm doing and and are willing to invest this 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.560 type of money at that age. So when they come 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.640 to us at that age, we used to be like, 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:50.280 you know, they're probably too young for this process, but 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.480 they're not. That's a sweet spot. Congratulations to them for 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.800 making a decision so early to say what I'm doing 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.280 isn't working and I'm going to invest in me and 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:01.360 hire profess show that can help me in the areas 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.480 that i'm weakend right, Why do you think the people 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:08.320 have gotten younger asking for help with dating? Do you 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.120 think it's because of doing you know, the dating apps 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.080 and stuff like that, or do you think because of 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:16.920 COVID Maybe people aren't like aren't used interactions. I think 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:18.920 that matchmaking is just there's not as much of a 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:22.040 stigma against it. You know, people would say, for oh gosh, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:23.760 you have to hire a matchmaker, there's something must be 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:25.480 wrong with you. But I think it's just becoming more 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.360 commonplace that you know, you hire a headhunter if you're 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:31.000 looking for a job, you hire you know, a life coach. 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.520 If you're looking for something else you have are your 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.720 a matchmaker if you're having you know, problems in your 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:37.480 dating and relationship life. So it's not really as you know, 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.240 that stigma that people would say, oh my gosh, something's wrong, 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.200 even like mental health. I mean, that's something that we're 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:44.840 all embracing now that we didn't before. So I think 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:48.360 just personal you know, on professional development is like more 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.880 um accepted at this point. I'm thinking, and I think 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:55.760 that some of the younger generation there there, if they 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.120 didn't meet anybody in college and they're seeing their friends 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:01.160 and college getting married by out of college, they're like, WHOA, 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:04.760 So there's a reason why I'm not chosen And they 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.760 start feeling that that, you know, that self pity, like 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.520 why haven't I gotten into a relationship, Why hasn't anyone 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.680 chosen me? Why? Why can't I seem to get this right, 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.480 and and so that particular age, they're taking it on 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.040 almost like the next level of education. So they're so 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:24.560 they're continuing their education from college to Okay, let me 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.240 go ahead and and get and gain these skills so 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:41.360 I can figure this relationship thing out here. It's so 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:43.280 funny how we love to follow what our friends are 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.120 doing too. I feel like one of the reasons that 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.840 I'm so comfortable being in a relationship now is because 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:50.360 so many of my friends are in relationships, Whereas when 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.000 I was like twenty three, everyone was single, so it's 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:54.560 like all we wanted to do is be single. But 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:57.080 now you know, everyone's in relationship, so it kind of like, okay, 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:01.320 well let's see, let's give this thing a shot. Yeah. So, 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.520 so when you guys are bringing on a new client 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.840 or or prospective client, what do they have to go 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.040 through in order to be like onboard by you guys. 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:10.720 Do you just sit down and talk with them or 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:13.840 do you have them go through a whole process? Mhm, yeah, 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:17.320 I think that. So, so initially they'll contact us UM 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.280 and then our implementation director will reach out to them 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.680 and kind of do like a pretty screening and set 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:24.680 them up for like a strategy session, and they'll get 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:27.560 an opportunity to meet with both myself and Kelly and 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.879 then we just drill them. We learn more about their personality, 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:34.320 we learn more about their past challenges, and then we 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:38.120 make a decision based off of what we've uncovered if 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:39.720 they're a good fit to work with us or not. 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:41.560 And we usually tell them on the spot, you know, 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:43.280 whether we feel like they would be a good client 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:46.600 for us UM and we turned down many because we 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:49.280 don't work with everybody. What would be like a reason 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:52.720 you would turn someone down? Yeah, I mean, I think 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.600 the reason one reason that we turn people down a 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.399 lot of times is, like we said, they don't listen, 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.199 so they're kind of coming in and taking over the 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:01.520 whole conversation station. Like sometimes we can't even get a 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.160 word in, and we're just like why are we here? 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:04.920 Like you're telling us what to do and what not 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:06.720 to do, Like why are we all sitting here? If 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.479