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Speaker 1: Welcome, one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before

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Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that

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Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those

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Speaker 1: of the hosts and guests and are intended for educational

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Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is

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Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can

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Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to

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Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color,

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Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will

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Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a

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Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do

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Speaker 1: enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a viz. Hey, guys,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Ishigara Ebina here and

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Speaker 2: I am super excited to introduce a brand new series

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Speaker 2: called phg Unlock.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: In this series, I'll be sitting down with some notable figures,

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Speaker 2: celebrities and more. But with a twist, my guest gets

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Speaker 2: to choose whether or not they want to conceal or

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Speaker 2: reveal their identity. And yes, child, we will be destroying

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Speaker 2: their voices, so there's no cheating. You don't want to

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Speaker 2: miss out on these exclusive conversations where we dive deep

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Speaker 2: into their stories, all while keeping you guests and who's

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Speaker 2: really behind the voice. Get ready to unlock some incredible

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Speaker 2: stories only here on a professional homegirl podcast. Now today,

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with a truly inspiring guest, someone who

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Speaker 2: has faced the unimaginable challenges, including enduring years of abuse

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Speaker 2: at the hands of someone who should have been her protector.

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Speaker 2: You may recognize her story from her countless interviews in

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Speaker 2: public speaking again Acetual Relationships, where she bravely shares her

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Speaker 2: journey of how her father became the father of her children.

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Speaker 2: As someone who has touched the lives of many through

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Speaker 2: her story and activism, she's here to share more about

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Speaker 2: her journey to fight for justice and the lessons she

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Speaker 2: learned along the way. Get ready to be moved and

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Speaker 2: inspired because my father is the father of my children.

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Speaker 2: Starts now. All right, to my guests, thank you so

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Speaker 2: much for being on the show. How you doing, How

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Speaker 2: you feeling I'm doing good.

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling good. I'm being productive, So that's it's a

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Speaker 4: good thing.

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Speaker 2: She looking good y'all.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Listen. This is part of the only woman in a

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Speaker 2: very long time on this show that I have chased down.

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Speaker 2: I've been working on this interview for like what I

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Speaker 2: think almost two years.

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Speaker 4: Wow, you know what, And I think what might have

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Speaker 4: gotten lost in the chaffle is that I had somebody

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Speaker 4: managing off my interview requests.

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Speaker 5: A transition.

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Speaker 4: So there is a transition during the transition, I'm managing it,

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Speaker 4: and apparently I don't think all the requests came to me.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's how I know you busy.

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Speaker 5: I'm glad we got connected.

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Speaker 2: Me too, Me too. I just want to say thank

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Speaker 2: you so much. I have read your book in one sitting.

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Speaker 2: I did a lot of research on you, and I'm

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Speaker 2: just really excited to have you on this show because

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Speaker 2: I know your story is doing a lot of healing

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Speaker 2: for other people. So thank you so much.

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Speaker 5: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: Now, how has your relationship with your mother and other

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Speaker 2: family members evolved as you all had to navigate the

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Speaker 2: f math.

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Speaker 4: And well, there was a lot of ups and down

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Speaker 4: the aftermath, and of course the aftermath the journey also

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Speaker 4: had all of its ups and downs. So initially we

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Speaker 4: were just so happy to be free of my father.

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Speaker 4: That you know, we really focused. I know I did,

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Speaker 4: and I believe I think I could say even for

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Speaker 4: my sister and my mom, we really focused on getting

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Speaker 4: to a place of normalcy, whatever we thought that that

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Speaker 4: looked like. But unfortunately, in exploring once we got to

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Speaker 4: a level of normalcy with that definitely that I thought

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Speaker 4: was supposed to be normal, then I could still see

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Speaker 4: that there were some issues, some kind of weeds sprouting

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Speaker 4: up from seeds that my dad planted, and one of

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Speaker 4: those things being that my mother had some resentments and

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Speaker 4: some disdain towards me and my children, and that would

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Speaker 4: like peek out in different ways until it basically came

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Speaker 4: to a head and I had to separate from her.

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Speaker 4: Now that did affect my relationships with my sisters and

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Speaker 4: even getting ourselves established in the world of what was normal.

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Speaker 4: I did get married, and two of my sisters slept

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Speaker 4: with my husband.

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Speaker 2: And I read your book, I said, nah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was just I mean, I am very

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Speaker 4: gracious and forgiven. I think, even in my studies and

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Speaker 4: my understanding of the impacts of sexual abuse and how

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Speaker 4: they affect a developing human being, I forgave them I

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Speaker 4: forgave them both because I felt like we were raised

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Speaker 4: in this very toxic environment. Not to mention, we were

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Speaker 4: raised with the belief that polygamy was what was a

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Speaker 4: sense of normal, which what was normal, and it is

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Speaker 4: in many cultures, but not necessarily in the US. But

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Speaker 4: you know, being used to that kind of sharing a

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Speaker 4: man type of thing, and seeing my father do that

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Speaker 4: with the other women that he dealt with, my mombi,

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Speaker 4: and accepting of that, I think there was a lot

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Speaker 4: of burred and gray area when it came to now

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Speaker 4: navigating a more common social structure, which would be like monogamy.

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Speaker 4: So here I was the first one to get married,

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Speaker 4: you know what seemed to be at the time, a

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Speaker 4: great guy who was very involved in the family, supportive,

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Speaker 4: you know, accepted. My children and my sister saw that

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Speaker 4: and they said, right, they said, oh, let's see what

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Speaker 4: you know, big sis got going on, And that's what happened.

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Speaker 2: He gave it.

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Speaker 5: It really is, and I mean both of them did.

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Speaker 4: When I confronted them both, well, I found out there

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Speaker 4: was a gap between me finding out about one sister

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Speaker 4: and finding out about the other sister. And I think

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Speaker 4: I don't even mention my second sister intairs yes, yes, And.

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Speaker 5: The time that I wrote it, I it hadn't.

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Speaker 4: Been confirmed, so you know, it wasn't until later on

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Speaker 4: then she says to me, yeah, so I have a confession.

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Speaker 5: I was like, okay, what might that be.

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Speaker 4: Now by that time, my husband and I was already

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Speaker 4: divorced and interacting. But she felt that her holding this

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Speaker 4: secret impacted her ability to find love, so she decided

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Speaker 4: that to a tone, I guess, between her and her conscience,

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Speaker 4: she wanted to tell.

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Speaker 5: Me, and she told me.

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Speaker 4: Both her and my first they both said like, look,

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Speaker 4: I fell in love with your husband. I fell in

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Speaker 4: love with him. I approached him. They were the aggressor, and.

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Speaker 5: You know that.

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Speaker 4: Of course that has nothing to do with the decisions

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Speaker 4: that he made, but they were the aggressor and he.

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Speaker 5: Fell under their spell. I guess.

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Speaker 2: You know what's so funny. When I was reading your book,

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Speaker 2: I thought it was her that you were talking about

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Speaker 2: until you said it was your other sister. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know what gave it away, but I was just like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I feel like they did.

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Speaker 4: Something because in my book I do talk about the

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Speaker 4: first sister that I found out about suspecting the second sister, right, right,

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Speaker 4: So she suspected the second sister, denied, denied, denied, And

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Speaker 4: it wasn't until about three years later did she then say, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: so you know all that suspicion was true, Like there

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Speaker 4: was a reason for it.

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Speaker 2: Listen, he must have been doing something right because he

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Speaker 2: had no teeth. When you said that, I was like, girl, like, what.

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Speaker 6: Is he doing?

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Speaker 5: You said? That brings me back to the moment that

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Speaker 5: I discovered you.

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Speaker 2: Yo, she got me crying up.

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Speaker 6: But that's that's a fastident to how trauma works, because.

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Speaker 5: I was not like you think that was my I

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Speaker 5: did not like men. I did not like him long hair.

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Speaker 4: My husband was bald, and many of the other guys

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Speaker 4: I dated were bald. That My dad was always so

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Speaker 4: focused on his teeth, and he thought he just had

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Speaker 4: the greatest smile. So I think I subconsciously kind of

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Speaker 4: overlooked it. It was real, wasn't perfect. Yeah something how

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Speaker 4: that works? But no, he did not have any teeth.

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Speaker 2: I know you were sick of that, nigga, Like you

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Speaker 2: got some nerve.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now, what has been the most challenging part of rebuilding

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Speaker 2: your life and identified identity? Outside of the trauma.

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Speaker 4: Ooh wow, there's so many challenges. I would say the

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Speaker 4: most challenging aspect would be my sexuality with you know,

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Speaker 4: being comfortable with sex like that was a struggle for

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Speaker 4: me because I always saw it as something negative, something

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Speaker 4: that was demeaning, something that was used as a form

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Speaker 4: of punishment. So it did take some time to get

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Speaker 4: to that place, but I made a concerted effort. I

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Speaker 4: made a decision that if there are millions of women

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Speaker 4: out there enjoying sets and enjoying the pleasure of their

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Speaker 4: bodies could give them, then I have the right to

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Speaker 4: do that too, And I went on an education journey

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Speaker 4: with myself.

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Speaker 5: But it was a challenge, it was scary.

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Speaker 4: And then once I got to the point that I

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Speaker 4: was able to be intimate with a man, I still reverted.

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Speaker 4: I still reverted back to the scared little girl who

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Speaker 4: was being forced into doing something to please a man.

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Speaker 4: And it was sort of a disaster. But I worked

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Speaker 4: through it, I would say that. And definitely having to

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Speaker 4: take well not having to, I mean I don't consider

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Speaker 4: it a burden at all, but having to come to

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Speaker 4: terms with my daughter who passed away, Yes, thank you,

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Speaker 4: thank you, and just kind of accepting and even grieving

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Speaker 4: the fact that she had her condition. Her condition was

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Speaker 4: something that I had no control over, and that was

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Speaker 4: just another layer of the abuse that I suffered, because

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Speaker 4: had I not been forced to make children with my father,

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Speaker 4: then she would not have been born with these severe

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Speaker 4: genetic disorders.

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Speaker 5: So that was kind of tough to deal with me.

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Speaker 4: When she passed away, it was that's when all of

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Speaker 4: that just kind of piled on, and I went through

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Speaker 4: the anger and then the missing her, and then also

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Speaker 4: just placing blame. So I think it was during that

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Speaker 4: period I was most angry at my father.

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Speaker 2: And I say, you weren't paink for.

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Speaker 3: Yes, listen, I did, Yes, I did.

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Speaker 2: I said, listen, y'all. I guess she said, I got

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Speaker 2: a hard limit. I said, oh, I'm not playing no games.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to ask really thoughtful questions because I feel

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Speaker 2: like you have been on a lot of platforms, and

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Speaker 2: I know a lot of people like to ask you

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Speaker 2: a lot of like really deep and hard questions, and

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to, you know, give people the other

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Speaker 2: side of it. So I really took my time with

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Speaker 2: this because when even when I ran, when your daughter

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Speaker 2: passed away, I was like, come on, God, like this

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Speaker 2: is crazy, Like I.

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Speaker 5: Couldn't imagine moments.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I was not expecting that the way you

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Speaker 2: wrote it, or the way you just wrote the book. Period.

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Speaker 2: I was just like, wow, like you did a really

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Speaker 2: good job with that.

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Speaker 5: Thank you. Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Of course, Now how do you process the complicated emotions

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Speaker 2: of love, pain, and perhaps even resentment towards your mother,

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Speaker 2: giving her rolling your upbringing.

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Speaker 4: Well, going back to that whole grief thing again, I

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Speaker 4: really had to grieve the fact that I lost my

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Speaker 4: mother right at a young age, and then even once

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Speaker 4: I felt like.

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Speaker 5: I got her back again during.

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Speaker 4: The time we escaped to my father and I was

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Speaker 4: able to establish or try to establish a more parental,

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Speaker 4: you know, mother daughter relationship with her, I didn't lost

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Speaker 4: her again. So I think that came with one grieving

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Speaker 4: the fact that, you know, I don't really have a mother,

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Speaker 4: definitely not in a positive sense, and then accepting that,

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Speaker 4: and then also recognizing that not everything she did was

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Speaker 4: bad Like there of course, as a person, why a

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Speaker 4: lot of people love her and she she's talented, she's articulate,

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Speaker 4: she's beautiful, she's poised, and she's intelligent. So there are

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Speaker 4: a lot of things to love about her, and I

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Speaker 4: had to decide to give those things up because then

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Speaker 4: the negative aspects of her were having such an impact

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Speaker 4: on me and my children dread, and she just was

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Speaker 4: not growing the way that they're definitely not the way

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Speaker 4: I was growing. Right, Not only that, she was resistant

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Speaker 4: to growing. And I think even at this point, I

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Speaker 4: think it's pretty safe for me to say that she

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Speaker 4: still is resistant. I mean, even after I published my book,

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Speaker 4: she called me and told me, can I ask me

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Speaker 4: to unpublish it because she felt it was preventing her

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Speaker 4: from getting work.

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Speaker 5: Wow, And I'm like, wow, you think so everybody right exactly.

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Speaker 4: Not your husband, not the fact that your name is

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Speaker 4: in the public record because you testified against him, It's

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Speaker 4: because I published my book where your name is not

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Speaker 4: even identified. So so that then just brought attention to

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Speaker 4: the same selfishness that and motivated her to not protect

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Speaker 4: her daughters.

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Speaker 5: And it was just too blinding for me.

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Speaker 4: So but I I can acknowledge the fact that, yeah,

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Speaker 4: she's my mommy, she was at different points in my

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Speaker 4: life and I still.

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Speaker 5: Love her for that, but I have to do it

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Speaker 5: from afar.

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Speaker 2: Have she ever apologized to you.

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Speaker 5: She has. She has in different ways.

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Speaker 4: But you know, I mean somebody can apologize for doing something,

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Speaker 4: but if they do the exact same thing again, yeah apology.

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Speaker 4: So but yeah, she has, she has apologized because.

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Speaker 2: I feel like when you describe your mother in the

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Speaker 2: book in the beginning, she was like completely opposite of

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Speaker 2: where she's at now or in the book, and I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 2: like your father must have really had a hold of her,

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Speaker 2: Like he must have really broke her down, because the

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Speaker 2: way you describe her, like she was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: she was doing her things, she was successful, she was smart,

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Speaker 2: like everybody admire her. So when you told me that

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Speaker 2: she found out about what was going on with you

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Speaker 2: and I'm pretty sure the other sisters, I'm just like, wow,

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Speaker 2: Like what did he do then? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And I mean by then he was already abusing her.

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Speaker 4: Of course, he broke down her self esteem and her

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Speaker 4: sense of confidence and self work because this polygamous lifestyle

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Speaker 4: did not start as an agreed lifestyle. It started with

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Speaker 4: on her. So I'm sure that just challenge everything. And

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Speaker 4: you know, grooming is not only for kids, adults as well,

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Speaker 4: and she was definitely groomedus at the same time they were.

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Speaker 4: They were very close in age, they were high school sweethearts,

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Speaker 4: so there was just a lot of psychological connections I

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Speaker 4: think between them that then made it easier for my

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Speaker 4: father to control her.

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Speaker 2: Do you ever find yourself reflecting on your father's life

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Speaker 2: and choices, and if so, how do you make sense

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Speaker 2: of his actions?

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Speaker 5: Yes? I do, I do.

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Speaker 4: I don't dwell too much, but I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 4: what triggers those that thought process. Usually in my nine years,

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Speaker 4: usually my dreams of memories of him and using me.

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Speaker 4: It seems like even another timeline, like Okay, I'm free

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Speaker 4: and safe now he's sitting in jail. But apparently the

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Speaker 4: I have these dreams where he is still in my

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Speaker 4: lines and the progress as if I never escaped him,

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Speaker 4: and things just could my life just continued on with him.

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Speaker 4: And I'm older and my kids are older, And when

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Speaker 4: I wake up, I do I reflect on the fact

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Speaker 4: that he has had this impact on me, still continues

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Speaker 4: to have an impact on me.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I am resilient.

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Speaker 4: Yes I know what tools to employ, so it's not

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Speaker 4: as negatively impactful as it could be.

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Speaker 5: But of course, and I sometimes.

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Speaker 4: It saddens me. He had so much potential, and these

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Speaker 4: were the choices that he made. I mean, my dad

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Speaker 4: was creative, he's parristhmatic, he was intelligent as well. He

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Speaker 4: didn't get to where he was in his career because

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Speaker 4: you know, because somebody just happened to buy him and

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Speaker 4: liked him for it. For whatever reason, he wanted to

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Speaker 4: get to where he was and and then to now

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Speaker 4: bring in this demented sick you know, narcissistic, violent, these

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Speaker 4: make these violent choices. It's it's really unfortunate. It's really

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Speaker 4: unfortunate that he that he did that to hisself, and

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Speaker 4: he did that to his family.

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Speaker 2: And that's where I can hear the pain when I

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Speaker 2: was reading your book, because I'm like, damn, like you

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Speaker 2: really love your father. I did, Yeah, And I can

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Speaker 2: see the conflict because like it's like it's a strug.

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Speaker 2: It's like, damn, like how do we rejoice in him

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Speaker 2: going to jail? But this is the person that gave

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Speaker 2: me life.

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Speaker 5: Right, right, and my children? Yeah, and that I can't.

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Speaker 4: I can't deny that, you know, his his DNA contributed

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Speaker 4: to them.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's it's a lot, it can be, it

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Speaker 5: can be.

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Speaker 4: Challenging, Yeah, but I accept it for what it is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you believe the stigmas around an incest

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Speaker 2: affects survivors and their willingness to come forward?

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Speaker 3: Ooh, listen, baby, Okay.

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Speaker 4: It affects it directly. It affects it directly. I wrote

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Speaker 4: an essay about that specific topic. How in media, in

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Speaker 4: pop culture and films, children board of incests usually ushering

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Speaker 4: the apocalypse or their demons or you know. So, there

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Speaker 4: is a very negative connotation with the children of incests,

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Speaker 4: which is it's not fair. I don't think that's fair

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Speaker 4: because the negativity comes from the acts that caused it.

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Speaker 4: But they themselves are innocent. So thank God have been

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Speaker 4: covered and blessed enough, and and the people around us,

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Speaker 4: they have not had too much negative impact, even from

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Speaker 4: me being public, and they are strong enough to be

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Speaker 4: able to deal with that. Like, I'm sure you've read

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Speaker 4: you've seen my daughter in the comments, like correcting people,

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Speaker 4: putting them in their place.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no, she's not.

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Speaker 2: She is like, whoa, that's all looks less and spicy.

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Speaker 5: I know that's right, Yes she is, Yes, she is.

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Speaker 4: She's like she's like if mommy, mommy is the forgiving one,

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Speaker 4: she is the one that shows great, she's the understanding,

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Speaker 4: not not her right, but.

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Speaker 2: You know what, that's good because people need to start

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Speaker 2: playing with people.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, no, that's true.

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Speaker 4: That's true, And I mean I love her and I

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Speaker 4: admire her for it. So so yeah, there are some

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Speaker 4: people that come out their face and say some dumb,

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Speaker 4: ridiculous stuff, like there was one person that told her

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Speaker 4: that she looks like an incest baby, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, do you even know what that was like?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, do you you don't even know what

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Speaker 4: that looks like? Do you know how many people born

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Speaker 4: out of incestuous abuse are walking around today that they're

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Speaker 4: not identified? So many of our like Pku, for instance,

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Speaker 4: my two daughters that have fenal catenoria that was actually

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Speaker 4: perpetuated out of incest in Europe. So it's a recessive disorder, recessive,

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Speaker 4: recessive genetic disorder that has more of an impact on

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Speaker 4: people of European ancestry than of black And it's because

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Speaker 4: there were certain groups that were incestuous, that was their culture,

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Speaker 4: that was their belief system, and when this this gene

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Speaker 4: came out that could not fatabolize pheno alanine and protein,

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Speaker 4: then they were Marian and making children and it locked,

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Speaker 4: it locked the disorder in. So you know, it turns

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Speaker 4: out that my father we have Scottish and Irish descent

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Speaker 4: and Scottish and Arnist ancestor Irish ancestors, and of course

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Speaker 4: he made it with me and we created a child

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Speaker 4: that has this genetic disorder. So you know, of course

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Speaker 4: those things impact, I mean anything, any kind of genetic

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Speaker 4: disorder impassed upolity of life the person that has it.

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Speaker 4: But seeing these crews that kind of came out of

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Speaker 4: this abuse, that is another you know, it's it's heartbreaking.

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Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener, discretion is a vice.

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Speaker 2: But I'm glad you made a good point because I

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Speaker 2: had another lady on my show and she shared her

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Speaker 2: story of her mother, her mother being her sister and

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Speaker 2: how she found out and in sexual relationships is really

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Speaker 2: big in her family. But one of the stereotypes that

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Speaker 2: she talked about was just similar to yours. Like one,

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Speaker 2: everybody doesn't look like what you think Incess baby look like.

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Speaker 2: And two this is way more common than you think.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm exactly. It's just so many people are hiding it.

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Speaker 4: People hiding children.

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Speaker 3: Are raised as siblings.

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Speaker 4: Siblings, right, or they're said off to Grandma to be raised,

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Speaker 4: and you know that happens a lot, and it's just so.

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Speaker 4: But yes, because our society puts shame on the ad,

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Speaker 4: it transfers to the results of the act and then

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Speaker 4: they stay hidden.

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Speaker 2: Do you think this would ever not be taboo like?

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Speaker 2: Eventually this would be something that people will talk about openly.

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Speaker 6: I hope, I hope it's oh so, I mean, I

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Speaker 6: do have to say, because I'm first myself and then

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Speaker 6: my children, because we speak about it openly and I'm

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Speaker 6: public platforms, that it is something that more people will

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Speaker 6: talk about.

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Speaker 4: And I think that just because I've created a space

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Speaker 4: and a community on social media, if you really, I mean,

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Speaker 4: there's a lot of comments, but if you look in there,

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Speaker 4: you'll find some Hey, my father's my grandfather and you know,

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Speaker 4: my I had a child by and more and more

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Speaker 4: of the more and more are coming out and it's

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Speaker 4: encouraging because I think I think some people get confused

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Speaker 4: between normalizing children of incest and then normal normalizing incests

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Speaker 4: in general.

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Speaker 5: And I don't think that. I don't think normalizing means

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Speaker 5: that you are saying it's.

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Speaker 2: Okay, right, right, because it's not.

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Speaker 4: But I think normalizing meaning that anything that comes with

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Speaker 4: being a result of incests or incest itself, whether it's

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Speaker 4: the negative impact specifically, if we could normalize it, normalize

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Speaker 4: talking about it, then we could handle it more effectively,

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Speaker 4: We could approach it more effectively, more people will be

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Speaker 4: educated on the impacts. And I really hope that it

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Speaker 4: will even be a deterrent to predators that you know,

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Speaker 4: they're them busting and not in the moment is going

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Speaker 4: to affect not only their victim, but also it could

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Speaker 4: affect their descendants, and it's going to affect the entire family.

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Speaker 5: So that's what you.

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Speaker 4: Take from that perspective of normalizing. Talking about it is

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Speaker 4: very important.

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Speaker 2: All right, guys, with this is the moment we all

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Speaker 2: been waiting for it, This is.

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Speaker 1: The moment of truth. Will our guests reveal their identity

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Speaker 1: or keep it concealed? The choice is yours to reveal

439
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Speaker 1: or conceal? What will it be?

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Speaker 2: Of course, the name I'm going to reveal, Yes, produce yourself.

441
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 6: I'm so excited.

442
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 3: Hello everyone. My name is Aziza Kibb, and I am

443
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 3: a mom fo first and foremost, I am an activist,

444
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: a writer, a chef and a content creator, and I

445
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 3: speak publicly and have created a nonprofit organization about preventing

446
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 3: sexual assault in general, but more with more of a

447
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 3: focus on sexual abuse of children and preventing all forms

448
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 3: of gender based violence.

449
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: Yes, random applause. Yashi is our first guest on the

450
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 2: phg Unlock series and I'm just super excited to have

451
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 2: her hair, Like I already feel like this is going

452
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: to definitely help someone on their journey, especially if they

453
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: have a similar story to yours. So, how has writing

454
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 2: and sharing your story publicly impacted your healing journey over

455
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 2: the years?

456
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 3: So definitely positive? Just you know, a basic the basic answer,

457
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 3: straight answer is acted it positively. But I'm not gonna say.

458
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 3: But however, when I decided to write my book, Unashamed

459
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 3: of Life Tainted, it was a therapeutic work. It was

460
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: not meant to be shared with the public. And wow,

461
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 3: yeah it wasn't if I was writing it for therapeutic reasons.

462
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 3: My daughter was in the hospital she had during the process.

463
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 3: When I got started, she had had a long stint

464
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 3: in the hospital, and I just knew that I had

465
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,679
Speaker 3: to get back into into writing. I have always been

466
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 3: a writer, Yes, I was homeschooled, and my grandma probably

467
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 3: wasn't very very good when I started. But one thing

468
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 3: that discouraged me from writing is I had a diary

469
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: when I was a child while my father was abusing me,

470
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 3: and my brother found it and gave it to my father,

471
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 3: and my father honighed me, punished me severely for it

472
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: because of course it had details of what he was

473
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 3: doing to me and how I felt about it, and

474
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 3: be saying that I wish he would stop. And after

475
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: that that traumatized me and I didn't write a for

476
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 3: a while. I didn't write for long time until he

477
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: then made me write the video treatments for his music videos.

478
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 3: He was a music video director. He directed Killing Me

479
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 3: Softly by the Fujis that's his most well known work.

480
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 3: And the process when you are trying to bid for

481
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 3: a video to be the director of a video, you give

482
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 3: your ideas, you give a synopsis or a treatment, and

483
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 3: my father would require me to write the treatments that

484
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: he would submit to the record labels, so I had

485
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 3: to get I got back into writing that way. Then,

486
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 3: of course went through the process of escaping him and

487
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: remembering how helpful it was when I was little dealing

488
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: with what I was going through writing it down was

489
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,959
Speaker 3: I decided to pick up my pen again in that

490
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 3: capacity and write unashamed. It wasn't named, of course, at

491
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 3: the time, I was just chronicling everything that I went through,

492
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 3: how I felt about it. And then while I was

493
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 3: going through college, I did a public speaking class and

494
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 3: I decided to speak about what happened to me. And

495
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: this young woman who was sitting in the back, she

496
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 3: was always quiet in the classroom or participated. She came

497
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 3: up to me with tears after I finished my speech

498
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 3: and said that her father had done the same thing

499
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: to her, and I was the first person that she told,

500
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: so that inspired me. I meditated on it, I prayed

501
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 3: on it, and I said, you know what, I need

502
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: to publish this book because as the potential to help people.

503
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: And that's what I did. Yeah.

504
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: I always tell people you never know how your storyline

505
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 2: can be someone else's lifeline.

506
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, I like that.

507
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 5: I like it.

508
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: Come on out.

509
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 5: Now.

510
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: You've been interviewed on various platforms and have shared your

511
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 2: story with so many people. Is there an aspect of

512
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: your experience or journey that you feel is often overlooked

513
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: or misunderstood.

514
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: Hmmm. I do think. And this is interesting because I

515
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 3: think if I was in the audience, if I was

516
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: looking at things from the audience perspective, I would really

517
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 3: want to know more about my dating life and my

518
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: personal life. And I think a lot of people think

519
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 3: about it. Like, for instance, I gave a workshop for

520
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: law enforcement and social workers in Salem County in Jersey,

521
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 3: and everybody was reluctant to ask questions. Did I understand why?

522
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 3: You know? They don't want to trigger a survivor so

523
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 3: on and so forth. So I encourage the audience to

524
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 3: ask me anything that they want to do. I'm like,

525
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 3: I'll answer any questions, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

526
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 3: That's my that's how passionate committed I am to educating

527
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,959
Speaker 3: people and raising awareness. So I'm like, none of you

528
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: don't y'all don't want to know. I don't my dating life.

529
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 3: So then there's one guy.

530
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 5: He was a police officer.

531
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 3: He was cute too, he says, that's what he was like, Yeah,

532
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: that's what I wanted to know. I ended up kicking

533
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 3: him out. I was like, hey, you know, you you

534
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 3: have a question. He was like, well, actually I didn't

535
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 3: want to ask this, but what's dating like for you?

536
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 3: And I think a lot of people think about it,

537
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 3: but they don't ask because maybe they're not sure how

538
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 3: I would feel about them asking. But I'm like, no,

539
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 3: you have to. It's one thing to understand the trauma

540
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 3: and its negative impacts, and of course dating incorporates that too,

541
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,959
Speaker 3: but you know, you have to then explore the appreciation

542
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 3: for life and love after coming out of that type

543
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 3: of trauma. I think motivates people to help people feel

544
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 3: more and be more supportive.

545
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 2: Do you feel like men might be intimidated by you

546
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: because of what you went through? No, I'm serious, like,

547
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: do you feel like that?

548
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 3: A lot of people on the outside, Yes, they say

549
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 3: men are intimidated by me. And I do have some

550
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 3: male friends that are in, you know, more higher positions.

551
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 3: I think because they are so confident that they could

552
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 3: tell me. Then they're like, you know, you're just you're

553
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 3: intimidating and I'm more soft spoke care and like those

554
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: aren't very intimidating trades. But yeah, so even but that's

555
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 3: before they know my story and they know what I do.

556
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: So I don't know if it's the way I carry

557
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: myself and I work around a lot of like politicians

558
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: and entrepreneurs, and I see the eyes and they stare

559
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 3: a lot, but I rarely get approached. I rarely get

560
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 3: approached in public. So maybe and then yeah, they know

561
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 3: my story. I have learned that there have been some

562
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 3: men that are very intimidated by me.

563
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: I feel like that's my story as well. Like I

564
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 2: feel like guys would stare me up and down, but

565
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 2: these niggas will not come talk to me. And I'm like,

566
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: I don't bite y'all, like, come.

567
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: Talk to me right right exactly. And then So I

568
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 3: have a funny story that happened recently. I just went

569
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 3: installed went to the movies with my daughters and I'm

570
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: standing there at the concession stand waiting for my food,

571
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 3: pre ordered food, so I'm standing on waiting to get it,

572
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 3: and I'm there for about five minutes and there's this

573
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 3: guy standing next to me and he is just like

574
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 3: there and for something that I can fill his energy,

575
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 3: like having accompany with himself, and we're standing. Then we're standing.

576
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 3: I'm looking at my watch and I'm like getting really

577
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 3: antsy because the movie's about the start. And he turns

578
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 3: and looked at me and says, so are you here

579
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: waiting for food too? Like what, I think that's why

580
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 3: I want the concession stand. But I was like, wow,

581
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 3: that's that's an interesting that's an interesting question. But you know,

582
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 3: I like, I like to get to know people, and

583
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,760
Speaker 3: I like the experience of like getting to know someone new.

584
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 3: So I'm I'm actually very talkative. I can be very talkative.

585
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 3: My daughters say that I am an extrovert, that I'm

586
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 3: an extrovert in public, but it's I think I'm more

587
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 3: of an introvert. Well definitely in me. Home is my

588
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,879
Speaker 3: favorite place. But when I say that, I'm very social,

589
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 3: and but I am old fashioned. I do believe that

590
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: the man should approach the woman. So I don't go

591
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 3: like like talking to guys, but then I end up

592
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 3: being in a place and it's not until everybody's drunk

593
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 3: then they try to approach me.

594
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 2: So I also feel like a lot of men don't

595
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: have personalities. Sorry men listeners, not y'all. But I feel

596
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: like some of the men I meet, I'm just like,

597
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 2: come on, bro, Like I can't be the baddie, I

598
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: can't have the sense of humor, Like you gotta do

599
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 2: something in this relationship.

600
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I agree, But you know what it's not.

601
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 3: I don't think that it's that they don't have personalities.

602
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 3: I think that they're not sure on what their personality

603
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 3: should be, and therefore they are insecure in just being

604
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,280
Speaker 3: themselves because they think but social media and our culture,

605
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 3: they're supposed to be hard. They're not supposed to smile

606
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 3: in front of the camera, you know, They're supposed to

607
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:41,399
Speaker 3: be more thug, a more corporate like. And I think

608
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 3: men naturally are just a lot more insecure than we think,

609
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 3: even though we think that being secure is like a

610
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 3: neg is a masculine trait. But I just think that

611
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 3: they're more insecure than we think, and they're honestly, they

612
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 3: don't know what their personality is. Even my son, like

613
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 3: my son, I love my boys all up and down.

614
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: I love my boys, but I'm raising two black men.

615
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 3: Well one is an adult now, but my sixteen year old,

616
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,319
Speaker 3: and I tell him all the time, I'm like, you

617
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 3: have to be a trendsetter. You have to be a trendsetter.

618
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: You have to decide what you want and be okay

619
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 3: with what you want and what you like, Like, don't

620
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 3: be thinking about if you think other people will think

621
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 3: that what you like is cool. Don't think about that.

622
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: Just like what you like and people will follow what

623
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 3: you like.

624
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, are you Are you dating now? Because

625
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: I know from reading your book you ain't got no

626
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 2: problem getting no man now? So are you dating anybody?

627
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 3: Now? I'm really dating. I'm not dating. And well, actually

628
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 3: I don't think I've never intentionally went out and dated.

629
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 3: Like I know, some female they'll make sure they'll go

630
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 3: to a specific bar or spot or whatever on a

631
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 3: regular basis with the intention should meeting a man. And

632
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 3: I mean I have my cousin, who is the family

633
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 3: member that I'm most closest to. She kind of goes

634
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: through that like you know, I'm going out here to

635
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 3: try to meet someone. I've never done that, like that

636
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 3: has never been my attention. I go out to dance,

637
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 3: I go out to have fun, I go out to network,

638
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 3: I go out to socialize. And then yes, if a

639
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 3: man is grave enough, they will, you know, approach me.

640
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 3: So it's hard to say, am I dating? No, I'm

641
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: not intentionally dating. I have so much work to do.

642
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 3: My schedule is so crazy. I do like going on dates.

643
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 3: I like going down good conversation, you know, I like activities,

644
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 3: so like, even if I go I go to my

645
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: driving range. I go to the East Orange golf Course

646
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 3: here in Essex County, and I'm open. I'm like, you know,

647
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 3: everybody's there and there on the driving range. I'm open

648
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 3: to talking to guys, asking them for help and for

649
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 3: tips and stuff like that. So I enjoy myself in

650
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 3: that way. And if it totals out to be you know,

651
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 3: day or dinner. Yeah, Plus I have a foodie, so

652
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 3: I like going to nice restaurants.

653
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, Well, let's get into some listener questions. Tam

654
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 2: from La wants to know was it hard for you

655
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 2: to have healthy relationships with men?

656
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 3: What is a healthy relationship right right?

657
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 2: Or do you feel like you have healthy relationships with

658
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 2: them now?

659
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I believe I do. I do think sometimes

660
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 3: the heart can be very deceiving. I love hard. I

661
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 3: do love hard, and sometimes when you love hard, it

662
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 3: will leave you, It would leave you astray. So I

663
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 3: think that I have had a relationship. Well technically it

664
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 3: was a situationship for a good minute. And I realize

665
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 3: that because I felt so strongly about him, I did overlook.

666
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 5: Some little you know, some what I considered minor.

667
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 3: And then you have to understand that there is one

668
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 3: thing that I tend to have to check myself with,

669
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 3: and that is what is the level of what is okay?

670
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 3: Because my father was just so extreme. He was so

671
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 3: extreme with with the violence and being degrading.

672
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 2: And demeaning different.

673
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 3: So he was so extreme. So my gauge of what

674
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: is good and bad is a little skewed, and I

675
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 3: have to like take a step back, get some input

676
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 3: from somebody on the outside, say hey, you know, do

677
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 3: you think what this guy did, Like I'm dismissing it

678
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 3: because it's really not that bad. But this, this is

679
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 3: my example. My father is purple.

680
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 5: So I do have to do a check in.

681
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 3: And that's one way that my daughter helps a lot

682
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 3: with that. She does give her input a lot. And yeah, so.

683
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 5: I lost my train of thought.

684
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: But no, but you made a good point because if

685
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 2: you're comparing the current minu that you're dealing with now

686
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,439
Speaker 2: to your father, than anything that they do is good, right,

687
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 2: exactly exactly.

688
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 5: But I have I have learned. I have learned the better.

689
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 3: I have definitely learned my lesson dealing with that and

690
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:28,279
Speaker 3: my ability to discern whether something is bad treatment he's

691
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: dismissing me, he's disregarding me or ignoring me. He's not

692
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 3: showing me based on his actions. If he values me,

693
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 3: he doesn't value me. So I'm able to do that

694
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 3: better a lot better now, which is probably why I'm

695
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 3: not seeing anybody. But it did take some time to

696
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 3: get to that point. It took some good old fashioned

697
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:56,439
Speaker 3: science experimentation. But I think I'm in a place now

698
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 3: that I know what I want one and and I

699
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 3: know my worth, and I know what I bring to

700
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 3: a relationship and to a man.

701
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 5: So MH.

702
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 2: Daringly from North Carolina, North Carolina, wanted to know if

703
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 2: you think your family and friends knew all along, there were.

704
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 3: Some family that did know. And I found this out

705
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 3: more recently. There was a period that my father, when

706
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: he moved us to East Orange, New Jersey, and cut

707
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 3: off communication with the family. I found out that there

708
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 3: were cousins who had come to East Storage and saw

709
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 3: me pregnant and saw my interaction with him in public

710
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 3: and basically just went back to the rest of the

711
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 3: family and gossiped. Then when I was a child, I

712
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 3: did found that find out that when I was a child,

713
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 3: there were some family members that called social services, but

714
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 3: social services failed and did not know about it. Yeah,

715
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 3: so there were some family members that did know or

716
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 3: at least suspected had a very strong siss fishing and Judah.

717
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 2: From Brooklyn wants to know if you will want an

718
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: apology from your father. No, no, that laughing.

719
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 3: So during the process of me escaping, actually I did

720
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 3: get away from him and we were approaching reporting him

721
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 3: to the police, I got a phone call. He had

722
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 3: gotten my number from my aunt who was I was

723
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: still in communication with, which was his sister. And I

724
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 3: get a call one day on my phone, my house phone.

725
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 3: It was still you know, we still had Horizon plugging

726
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: right stuff, and it was his voice on the phone

727
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 3: and ebone when I tell you, I froze and then

728
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 3: sat there and he apologized. He apologized for what he

729
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 3: did to me, apologized for hurting me, he apologized for

730
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 3: abusing me. And I was and I was in tears.

731
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I'm like, this doesn't mean that there's

732
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 3: going to be any connection. But he did apologize, and

733
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 3: then in the end he said, but I'm in love

734
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 3: with you and I think we could make this work.

735
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 2: Wow.

736
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. So and then I just and then I hung up,

737
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 3: So I then know at this point I don't have

738
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,439
Speaker 3: that emotional connection to him as a father figure, as

739
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 3: a you know, I moved on emotionally from him. So no,

740
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: an apology wouldn't matter. He could, he couldn't. Would it

741
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 3: make me he he would he could, or he wouldn't.

742
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 3: It wouldn't make me any difference.

743
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener, discretion is a vice. Now,

744
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: what role has forgiveness played in your healing process, and

745
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 2: both in terms of others in within yourself? That that's

746
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 2: a good question, the within your self part, because I

747
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 2: think it's very important for any survivor of sexual abuse

748
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 2: the coally to forgive yourselves.

749
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 3: There's a lot of guilt that comes with the idea

750
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 3: that you brought this on yourself in some form of fashion.

751
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 3: So whether that is true or not, well, it's not true,

752
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,959
Speaker 3: but if you truly believe that it is true, then

753
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 3: you have to forgive yourself for that in order to

754
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 3: move forward. Then, and of course the decisions that you've

755
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 3: made that survival period, there's a lot of hard decisions

756
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 3: to make, and looking back, they're not always going to

757
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 3: be the most ideal. They're not going to be the

758
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 3: best choices, but you have to have to forgive yourself

759
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 3: that you was in survival mode and some decisions weren't

760
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 3: necessarily ideal correct definitely in other people's eyes. As far

761
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 3: as forgiving my both my father and my mother, it

762
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 3: was important for me to do that and instrumental in

763
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 3: my healing because it was me taking my power back.

764
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 3: They were they may have been responsible for what happened

765
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 3: to me and my father as the actor of what

766
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 3: happened to me and my mother in not being a

767
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 3: support for me and stepping in so basically for what

768
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 3: she didn't do. They may have been responsible for those acts,

769
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 3: but they're not responsible for my healing, and part of

770
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 3: my healing would be to take away the responsibility of

771
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 3: my healing from them, and I believe forgiving them is

772
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 3: the vehicle in doing that. So it has been a

773
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 3: very important part of my healing.

774
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 2: Have any of your father's former girlfriends ever came out

775
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,760
Speaker 2: and just apologize.

776
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 3: Well, many of them didn't know, and the ones that

777
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 3: didn't know, no, they did not, except a Kua, the

778
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 3: one that also molested me with him. I ran into

779
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 3: her at my school at the time. I went to

780
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 3: school when I was thirty five years old. I got

781
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 3: I went to Essex County College and then went on

782
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 3: to university at William Patterson University. And she was in

783
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,919
Speaker 3: the bathroom at my school. Apparently she had gotten out.

784
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 3: She did sever five years in prison for what she did,

785
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 3: and she had become she had gotten into a transitional

786
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 3: program that Essex County has where people coming out of

787
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 3: prison they could do like a transition through community college.

788
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 3: So she was in the bathroom. I went into the

789
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 3: bathroom one lunch break and she was in there, and

790
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 3: she fell to her knees and begged me for forgiveness.

791
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,439
Speaker 5: That was her.

792
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 3: But there are just other random of his girlfriends that

793
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 3: didn't know while I was a child that I've never

794
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 3: seen or heard from them again. So and that a

795
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 3: lot of his girlfriends that he had relationships with as

796
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 3: I entered into adulthood, and by this and he was

797
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 3: not introducing me, people didn't know I was his daughter.

798
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 3: He was introducing me as.

799
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 2: My girlfriend, as his young wife.

800
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 5: So they did.

801
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 3: They were none the wiser. They didn't know.

802
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: So and child, you shed some light on people in

803
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 2: the industry on how they was looking at you. Child,

804
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 2: But for the sake of time. We were talking about that

805
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 2: another time. You started your book with the dream where

806
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 2: God revealed what was to come in your life. Despite

807
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 2: all of the horrific things you encounter, your faith never waivered.

808
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 2: How did your faith guide you through it all?

809
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 5: Wow?

810
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 3: How did my faith guide me through it all? I

811
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 3: want to say, Okay, So it wasn't necessarily faith. I

812
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: think my faith. It wasn't my faith in God that

813
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 3: guided me. It was my faith and the strength that

814
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 3: God gave me. It was my faith and knowing that

815
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 3: there could be a better future and that I had

816
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 3: the ability whatever that may look like, that I had

817
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: the ability to reach that better future. So that's where

818
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 3: my faith was in. I always say that I know God,

819
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 3: God is it just is, just like we breathe air,

820
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 3: just like the trees grow. You know, for me, the

821
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,840
Speaker 3: Creator just is. There is no I don't have to

822
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 3: believe the Creator. I know the Creator exists and whatever

823
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 3: we experience as humans is part of the plan, what

824
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 3: people call the plan. You know, we God gave us

825
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 3: the freedom of choice. And a lot of people ask me, well,

826
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 3: how could you believe in God if he allows you

827
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 3: to go through these things? And it's like, well, you

828
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:52,439
Speaker 3: can't give a creation the freedom to choose and then

829
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 3: intercene every time they make bad choices. And unfortunately, other

830
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 3: people's choices are going to affect those that are vulnerable

831
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 3: to those choices. So I began accepting that and then

832
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 3: focusing more on the gifts and the talents and the

833
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 3: intelligence and the empathy that wore my gifts from the creator.

834
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: Then my faith had to really be more in myself

835
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 3: in order to navigate escape my father, navigate my healing process.

836
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 3: And that's that's what I did. That's how it is.

837
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 2: And last one, not least, do you ever think about

838
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 2: the what ifs? Because there was a time when you

839
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 2: and your brother was going to kill your mom and dad.

840
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 2: It was a time you was going to run away

841
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 2: your siblings. Was like, girl, you can't leave us. Like

842
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 2: do you ever think about what could have happened if

843
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 2: you would have went through?

844
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 4: Hell?

845
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 3: Yeah? Hell yeah? But I could a positive way. You know,

846
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 3: I think some people they they will they will harp

847
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 3: on and focus on the what ifs, and then it

848
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 3: will inhibit their ability to heel or move forward. Right,

849
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 3: And I think that's right, Bracket, Oh I could, it

850
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 3: should have and then you get angry about all of

851
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 3: these paths that weren't taken. I think I look at

852
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 3: the what why know, I look at the what ifs

853
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 3: like fun journeys, and I think, like, I'm also a

854
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 3: creative writer, so I write poetry. I'm working on a

855
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 3: TV pilot while I have a couple of teeth of

856
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 3: pilot scripts and they are all little what ifs. Well,

857
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:34,439
Speaker 3: what if when I was working at a restaurant and

858
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 3: I did find out that my husband had slept with

859
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 3: my sister. But you know, there's a lot of I

860
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 3: explore a lot of what IF's in that way, and

861
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 3: I think that's where Ryman can be very helpful. Well, okay,

862
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 3: what if you made this decision instead of that decision?

863
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,320
Speaker 3: What would happen? And it's more of a fun journey

864
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:00,760
Speaker 3: if anything. And I think that because even with my brother,

865
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 3: we used the pace in circles. I don't know, if

866
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,720
Speaker 3: you saw evil lives here, they depicted it very well.

867
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:07,399
Speaker 1: I did.

868
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:07,959
Speaker 5: I did.

869
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, me and my brother we.

870
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 3: Used the pace in circles, like after our whole work

871
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 3: was done so the house be clean. We would just

872
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 3: like in a trance in circles talking about the what ifs, Well,

873
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 3: what if Daddy didn't beat us, and what if he

874
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,359
Speaker 3: let us go out with Brenda and what if? You know,

875
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 3: we would do all these what if and it was

876
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 3: a form of escape for us because we created like

877
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,799
Speaker 3: this whole other world that we kind of lived in

878
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 3: to to cope with the the negative and toxic environment

879
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 3: that we was in at the time. So now the

880
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 3: what ifs are more like fun. I talk about them

881
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,879
Speaker 3: with my kids. We'll go on long drives and we'll

882
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 3: talk about the what if And then in certain ways

883
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,959
Speaker 3: they couldn't inform our decisions going forward. Well, what if

884
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 3: we decided to, you know, go to this place and

885
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 3: report and then we end up going and recording doing

886
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 3: that stuff. And I think as a creative what I's

887
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 3: definitely come up a lot. I'm a Marvels fan. Have

888
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:09,720
Speaker 3: you ever watched the Marbles?

889
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 5: Come on?

890
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 6: Now?

891
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 2: You know I watched the marvel Yeah.

892
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 3: Yea yeah, And it's fascinating to me because to a

893
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 3: certain degree when you even get into the multiverse and

894
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I am on this, I know, we are.

895
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 4: I know, I know.

896
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 3: I find this show called Dark Matter and it explores

897
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 3: the multiverse, but accessing it through the what is if

898
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 3: you made different decisions in your life, then you can

899
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 3: access that path or that world that would have been created.

900
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 3: And it's so fascinating. I highly recommend it on Apple TV.

901
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think as a creative what it's is

902
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 3: like a huge part of the creative process.

903
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 2: Yes, we listen, we gotta have you back on. This

904
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 2: was well worth the way of two years.

905
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 3: So I.

906
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 2: Am just so excited that we find connect. So please

907
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 2: let everybody where they can follow you at what you

908
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 2: have going on your book, Unashame all these good stuff,

909
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 2: so we can support you.

910
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 3: All right, So my book is Unashamed of Life Tainted.

911
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 3: You can get the link that gets it directly from

912
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 3: from my distributor on a Dieza kbb dot com. But

913
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 3: it is also available in digital and print format on Amazon.

914
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 3: Just put in a Zeza KBB. The other thing, I

915
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 3: do have a podcast called self Published and that you

916
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 3: can find out wherever you get your podcasts. All of

917
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 3: my social media is a Zeza KBB A z I

918
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 3: Z A k I b I b I and the

919
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:45,280
Speaker 3: organization that is my passion and my vehicle to changing

920
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 3: the world, prescious little ladies. Yes, and also notice a

921
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 3: PLLL nonprofit because you're incorporating some programs for men and boys,

922
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,240
Speaker 3: so it's Precious Little Ladies and then Precious Little Lads,

923
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 3: so it's both ell nonprofit and you just go to

924
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 3: Precious Little Ladies dot org and PLLL Nonprofit on all

925
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 3: social media. We do have a fundraiser coming up on

926
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:17,839
Speaker 3: September twenty eighth called Hope Blossoms, So just look on

927
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 3: our social media and on the website and you can

928
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 3: get links to get to kids and contribute to ending

929
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 3: sexual abuse of children and jourender based violence and yeah,

930
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:30,800
Speaker 3: help me change the world.

931
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you so much for doing as this was perfect.

932
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 3: Thank you ignore my cat going to sell. Yes, thank

933
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 3: you for having me listeners.

934
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: If you have any questions comings concerns, make sure you

935
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 2: email me a hello at the pshgpodcast dot com. Like

936
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 2: I always say, make sure you share your storyline because

937
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 2: you never know how it can help somebody else's lifeline.

938
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 2: Until next time, everyone later you wanna say bye bye me.

939
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 2: The Professional Homegirl podcast is a production of the Black

940
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 2: Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

941
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

942
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,399
Speaker 2: favorite shows, don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,

943
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 2: and you can connect with me on social media at

944
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 2: the PHG Podcast