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Speaker 1: Do not second guess yourself. And it's okay if you do.

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Speaker 1: But if that feeling keeps fucking coming back and we've

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Speaker 1: all had it doesn't have to be about childcare. Listen,

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Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aeron and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to the pregame.

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Speaker 2: This segment brought to you by none other than Macy's

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Speaker 2: Ladies and Gentlemen. Here we go. First up, Gal Nikki Josephine.

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Speaker 2: I always like that named Josephine. How does ia get

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Speaker 2: that perfectly sleek pony, clean dirty hair? What products help

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Speaker 2: you do rock a slick back pony?

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Speaker 1: Very well? Take it away, Gal, I am over trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out how to do my hair, so this

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Speaker 1: is the best thing. And then when I see girls

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Speaker 1: like girls, gals, women like Gigi Hadid or you know

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Speaker 1: others do it, I think I look like them, but

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Speaker 1: I don't. I use that dow da O kind of cream.

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Speaker 1: Just put it back, so we get back, put more in,

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Speaker 1: put more in. I find it great in like times

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Speaker 1: where there's a lot of humidity or whatever, but that's it.

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Speaker 1: And then I twisted. I wish I was one of

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Speaker 1: those gals that knew how to do a cool butt.

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Speaker 1: I just turn, turn, turn, rubber band and we're done.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine what it looks like from the back.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's great. It always is slicked and great. I

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Speaker 1: can't do that. We've talked about it before I had

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Speaker 1: that hair. Because this is the I have the coal sack.

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Speaker 1: Your hairline goes in that perfect arch. Well, this is

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Speaker 1: this is me not we're in sunscreen, so we've got that.

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Speaker 1: But look at this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we've got a whole situation back there, So

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Speaker 2: I can't. I always feel better when I have like

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Speaker 2: stuff down. I can't rather pony, but I appreciate that

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Speaker 2: you can. I get jealous of your Whispyes, they are

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Speaker 2: like so effortless. Also, I was noticing the hair yours,

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Speaker 2: without the weave, without anything like if you're in, you're out.

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Speaker 1: It is looking so much more healthy. So kudo, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you.

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Speaker 2: Well, I can't wait to describe what's in the big show,

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Speaker 2: what this look is all about today and how it

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Speaker 2: is going to be just documented for the next ten years.

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Speaker 2: More on that in the Big Show.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait. Okay, on a day, all right, Katie Pfeiffer,

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Speaker 1: do you have advice on how to embrace entering your forties.

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Speaker 1: How do we as women change the narrative in our

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Speaker 1: own minds that were past our prime and our forties.

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Speaker 1: Fuck no, my life just began in my forties. I

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Speaker 1: got married like two years before that, I had my kid. Listen,

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Speaker 1: people are making it hot in the sixties. I was

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Speaker 1: looking the other day at my Instagram. It was like

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Speaker 1: way in my no, not Instagram, my camera roll. And

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Speaker 1: it was a couple of years ago, maybe last year,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It was Jennifer Anderson in some photo

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Speaker 1: shoot in her fifties, and I wrote, if this is fifties,

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Speaker 1: I'm all in, like, come on, well, so there's so

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Speaker 1: many lasers, there's so many treatments, there's so many things

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Speaker 1: we can do. We're fine, everyone's great.

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Speaker 2: You are someone that's always the person in my life

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Speaker 2: that's like, Okay, we need to try this. We need

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Speaker 2: to try this, like even like an ag one you

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Speaker 2: told me about that years ago kind of a deal

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Speaker 2: where you're all you're always in front of me on

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Speaker 2: the health journey or the like let's stay young vibe.

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Speaker 2: So I'm a little behind you in that, but I

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Speaker 2: will say even though I didn't do it this weekend.

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Speaker 2: Some screen and water. That's something they need to be

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Speaker 2: better about. But as far as like in decades, we're

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Speaker 2: feeling good, it's all about a lot of its attitude too,

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Speaker 2: Like if you are confident in yourself, like I know

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Speaker 2: that there's a lot of things that I can work

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Speaker 2: on or be better at or look better in this,

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Speaker 2: but a lot of that is like attitude. So I

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Speaker 2: think in my twenties it was like I was chasing

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Speaker 2: the idea of who I wanted to be. My thirties,

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Speaker 2: I was just trying to get stay above water and

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Speaker 2: like fucking not even just drink water, just not drowned

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Speaker 2: from my own bad choices. And now in my forties

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Speaker 2: about to be forty three, I think there's just an

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Speaker 2: acceptance of self. It's like, hey, here I am. It's

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Speaker 2: what it is, whether you like it, whether you don't.

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Speaker 2: And also if you feel like you've already hit your

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Speaker 2: prime in your forties, like fuck, if we're lucky enough,

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Speaker 2: we're only halfway through our life. So I don't want

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Speaker 2: anyone to feel whether whatever age you're at, that like

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Speaker 2: oh this is it. No. And there's a billion different

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Speaker 2: examples of like beautiful men and women that just keep

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Speaker 2: getting better.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of that's attitude too. I think that

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Speaker 1: just looks so And I'm into science. Man, They're coming

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Speaker 1: up with so many things. You're going to try any

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Speaker 1: d with me this week. I'm so excited. You not

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Speaker 1: wait so much. That's so big with you know, your

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Speaker 1: immune system, anti aging, cellular stuff, like, I love it

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Speaker 1: so much. I'm pomped.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait to try it. We've got OSU

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Speaker 2: zero one one seven seven zero. What's your love language?

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Speaker 2: Mine is words of affirmation and physical touch. Those are

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Speaker 2: the two that stand out I think about the five

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Speaker 2: if we're classifying the five, Yeah, I like words of affirmation,

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Speaker 2: and I definitely am like a I don't need to

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Speaker 2: be like felt up all the time, but like you know,

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Speaker 2: in the I like like if like Steve like puts

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Speaker 2: his hand on my leg, like even if we're just

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Speaker 2: watching TV or like, I also love a handholding situation

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Speaker 2: if you're going through like a crowded room and like

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Speaker 2: the guy reaches back and grabs your hand and like

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Speaker 2: leads your way, like leads the way through a you

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Speaker 2: know situation. I'm all into that as well.

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Speaker 1: I just looked up the what are the five love languages? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I agree. I like the words of affirmation. I do

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Speaker 1: like acts of service and not so much like a

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Speaker 1: gift or anything, but making the bed, like taking the

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Speaker 1: dog out, scheduling like something for us quality time. I

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Speaker 1: do like our quality time, especially because we don't have

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Speaker 1: a normal life, like our schedules and stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: So I love that acts of service. Maybe I'm maybe

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Speaker 2: I'm also that I do like that. Like you said

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Speaker 2: the other day that he had scheduled this contractor to

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Speaker 2: go look at something that was a problem, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh my god. I was like, so terbat, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's like you scheduled a contractor without the asking, like

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Speaker 2: let's make up.

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Speaker 1: That played me. Hey babe, I went ahead and did this.

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Speaker 1: I heeded the pool so we could be with Matt

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Speaker 1: now to break those chants. Yeah, it's true. Thinking it's true. Okay,

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Speaker 1: aw swim MG, ohs swim MG. So sorry if I

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Speaker 1: absolutely just crush your name, Aaron. Any tips on how

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Speaker 1: to feel more comfortable leaving your baby when you're going

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Speaker 1: back to work. Great question, It is a good question.

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Speaker 1: I would say, you just have to have so much

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Speaker 1: confidence in your help that you have or where you're

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Speaker 1: leaving your baby. I will tell you this, and this

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Speaker 1: is something for the big show. I learned a lot

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Speaker 1: about and listen, I'm still I've got it all figured out.

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Speaker 1: I'm still learning. But things with leaving your child. And

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Speaker 1: I will say this, I had a I still do,

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Speaker 1: I think because we had mac via surrogate, which is

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Speaker 1: it was just we are so grateful for that. It

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Speaker 1: was a beautiful thing. I am so grateful that it

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Speaker 1: happened that way. But yeah, there's a whole like insecurity,

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Speaker 1: there's a whole kind of doubt you have that I

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Speaker 1: didn't carry this baby. I don't have the connection. I

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Speaker 1: need to be told certain things because I'm learning to

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Speaker 1: be a mother. And I will tell you that I

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Speaker 1: did not trust my gut for a while with some

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Speaker 1: child care, and I learned a lot about myself. I

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Speaker 1: think my husband did as well. But one of the

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Speaker 1: things I'm most proud of so far in our journey

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Speaker 1: that one it was fucking time to make a decision.

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Speaker 1: I felt this thing in me and I was like, whatever,

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Speaker 1: movie enough, it's Jennifer low Gez. I was like, and

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Speaker 1: we're done. And I'm proud of myself. But I also

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Speaker 1: think it was a big journey I had to go

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Speaker 1: through where I allowed someone to make me feel really

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Speaker 1: bad about myself and they knew that that was my

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Speaker 1: insecurity and they took advantage of that until this badass

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Speaker 1: and I just say that Listen. I know I'm a

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Speaker 1: tough bitch. I've been through a lot of stuff as

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Speaker 1: you have. I was just like, and that's all, and

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Speaker 1: that's all, So do that second guest yourself, And it's

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Speaker 1: okay if you do. But if that feeling keeps fucking

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Speaker 1: coming back, and we've all had it doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be about childcare. Listen, listen to yourself and give some

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Speaker 1: credit and pay attention to those those signs, or even

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Speaker 1: if your best friend is telling you something or your

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Speaker 1: family members, like, just listen.

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Speaker 2: I was just going to say, intuition is a very

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Speaker 2: strong thing, and so you know a lot of the times,

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Speaker 2: you know people say, like a mother's intuition you don't have, Like, yes,

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Speaker 2: you didn't carry back, but you have a mother's intuition,

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Speaker 2: Like that is your child. And I don't care if

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Speaker 2: it's be a surrogate, I don't care if it's adoption.

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Speaker 2: I don't care if that baby, like you know, was

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Speaker 2: a relative of yours and you adopt it whatever it

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Speaker 2: may be. However that child is in your life. It

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Speaker 2: is your child, and you have a mother's intuition.

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Speaker 1: So I see, I like your phone moment. It proved

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Speaker 1: it to me, you know, sorry to cut you off

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Speaker 1: it nod it like I was always like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: learning because I didn't carry him. No I have, and

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Speaker 1: I needed to trust it and that is my baby.

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Speaker 1: And you're like, that's like, don you see like animals

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Speaker 1: in the wild and it's like the moms like cub

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Speaker 1: like bear thing comes out and you're like, yeah, Lizzie Ebbs,

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Speaker 1: kneed tips for my parents meeting my boyfriend's parents, any

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Speaker 1: ice breaker ideas?

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is where at this So Steve,

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Speaker 2: I've met Steve's parents, and Steve has obviously spent a

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Speaker 2: lot of time with my parents, but our parents haven't met,

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Speaker 2: which bums me out because we're going on three years

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Speaker 2: of this saying and they live in Florida. My parents

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Speaker 2: live in Seattle. Not an excuse needs to be put

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Speaker 2: on the book. So Lizzie, I'm with you now. I

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Speaker 2: will say in the past things. If not, we want

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Speaker 2: to talk about intuition, Kathy Thompson's intuition.

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Speaker 1: On the last go around, she was like, uh no,

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Speaker 1: anyw who.

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Speaker 2: This is what I would say, get old all of

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Speaker 2: the things out of the way, Like if there's a

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Speaker 2: political divide, if there's a religious divide, if there's things

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Speaker 2: that you know that are going to disrupt the piece,

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Speaker 2: have the conversation with your side of the family. He

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Speaker 2: should have the conversation with hers and be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: here's some topics that are off limit right now. We

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Speaker 2: are not getting into anything that's going to have dissension

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Speaker 2: on the first meeting. We want this to just like

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Speaker 2: be something that it's like, you know, a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a meet and greet and I care a lot

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Speaker 2: about my boyfriend and he cares a lot about me,

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Speaker 2: and right now, you guys just need to like make

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Speaker 2: us like the center of attention, not your differences. And

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Speaker 2: so I would say, like, have the have all of

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Speaker 2: that sort of worked out ahead of time, so there's

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Speaker 2: no awkwardness when you're at dinner and someone brings up

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Speaker 2: politics and you're like, rat, now we've got to fight,

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Speaker 2: so icebreakers, you know, I love going around the table

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Speaker 2: and saying something of like you do. It could be

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Speaker 2: I know, it could just be something as like three

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Speaker 2: things you'd bring on a deserted island, you know, or

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Speaker 2: if you could go what's your favorite like meal your

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Speaker 2: your I always call it a prison meal. I probably

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Speaker 2: shouldn't say that, but like, if you're going to die tomorrow,

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Speaker 2: like what's your last meal? Just kind of get ideas

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Speaker 2: like that ahead of time, so when you're having dinner.

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Speaker 2: And also, let's be honest, people love talking about themselves.

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Speaker 2: So the more that your family like ask questions to

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Speaker 2: their family and vice versa, and it will feel like

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Speaker 2: they like care about each other instead of having a

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Speaker 2: one way street.

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Speaker 1: I love that my parents aren't. My dad is so

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Speaker 1: good just with his interviewing skills and life with anyone,

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Speaker 1: you know, and he's such a he's great with all that.

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Speaker 1: So my parents pretty much crush. I love that I

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Speaker 1: knew you'd be good at it. At what point do

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Speaker 1: you break out the easel?

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Speaker 2: Oh, guys, I love a game, and Aaron's parents saying

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Speaker 2: this from experience. I love games and I don't care

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Speaker 2: if it's charades. I don't care if it's pictionary. I

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Speaker 2: don't care if it's scategory. Whatever the game is, I

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Speaker 2: think it's a great bonding situation. There's a new game

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Speaker 2: out there. Actually it's actually not new, but I just

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Speaker 2: told you about this the other day. Speaking of parents crushing.

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Speaker 2: My mom loves this game, blank Slate. It's so fun.

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Speaker 2: It's like a fill in the blank. It gets everyone involved.

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Speaker 2: Not an ad, but I do love blank Slate. Do

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Speaker 2: add are games advertised on here? If not, they should

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Speaker 2: be Milton Bradley, Oh that.

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Speaker 1: If you got it? Yeah, an endorsement for that, we

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Speaker 1: should I think. Listen, Yeah, that's old fashioned fun right now,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Or I tried to get we were together of the

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Speaker 2: weekend and I tried to get on the plane. There

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Speaker 2: wasn't any internet, but I wanted to play heads up

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Speaker 2: because if you if you have a long flight with

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Speaker 2: the group and you're all just sitting there and everyone's

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Speaker 2: just so used to being on their phone and that

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Speaker 2: WiFi is down, you got to have a backup game.

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Speaker 1: On the big show, I want to talk about we'll

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Speaker 1: write this down our DJing skills. We we you and

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Speaker 1: I liked it. It was kind of like it reminds

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Speaker 1: me of like a tailor concert. Right, It's only we

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Speaker 1: only did like a snippet of each song because you

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Speaker 1: don't want people to get bored. No next, next, good,

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Speaker 1: all right, Kylie. M My bff is a lot like

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Speaker 1: Chris that cute great with gifts, Me not so much.

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Speaker 1: Her birthday is coming up and I have no idea

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Speaker 1: where to beget and I'll take any and all advice. Well,

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Speaker 1: one thing we can definitely tell you. And of course

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Speaker 1: this segment is brought to you by Macy's. Macy's has

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Speaker 1: any brand you're looking for, from wardrobe to home essential

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Speaker 1: to beauty. I was actually like looking at their site

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Speaker 1: the other day thinking, Okay, what the heck do I need?

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Speaker 1: I need a new suitcase. It's always fun, you know,

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Speaker 1: if your friend travels a lot, if you great any

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Speaker 1: sort of luggage. Chris is so friggin good with gifts,

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Speaker 1: like she'll get me an adorable purse. I never thought

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Speaker 1: about getting. Ooh, another gift she's so good at and

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Speaker 1: I pulled it out on her little trip the other day.

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Speaker 1: She's good at like a little pal tried put in

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Speaker 1: my purse, which had my slip bloss my breastbrain, my perfume.

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Speaker 1: My hand cream stuff like that. You're so good at

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Speaker 1: that well saying scal well.

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Speaker 2: So this is again what I think is a great

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Speaker 2: why Macie's is perfect for this because so what does

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Speaker 2: your best friend love to do? If she loves you know, uh, comfy, cozy,

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Speaker 2: like saying at home.

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Speaker 1: She's a homebody.

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Speaker 2: So get a basket, put a robe in there, put slippers,

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Speaker 2: put like yummy hand lotion, put face masks, like make

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Speaker 2: things a theme. They don't have to cost a lot

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Speaker 2: of money. It's more about the idea and like the

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Speaker 2: intent behind it.

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Speaker 1: So whatever your friend loves doing.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend Courtney and Meghan did for me one year

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Speaker 2: since our birthdays are Rite by Synco Demil. They put

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Speaker 2: together this big basket and it was all of the

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Speaker 2: things that I needed to make a margarita.

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Speaker 1: So they had like they actually.

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Speaker 2: Included like a baby lime tree, and I planted it

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Speaker 2: in my backyard and I still have it to this day.

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Speaker 2: It was a baby lime tree. They put tequila, they

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Speaker 2: put cool glasses, they put a cutting board. So just

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Speaker 2: think about what it is that your friend likes to do,

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Speaker 2: and then you did that for me last year. Are

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Speaker 2: my beach bag with all that fun yummy stuff in it.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, just sort of center the gift, not around

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Speaker 2: like one item, but more of what it is that

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Speaker 2: your individual friend like loves and it will feel personalized.

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Speaker 2: And also, do not forget this, this is my favorite thing.

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Speaker 1: Cards.

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Speaker 2: I have the worst handwriting in the world, and sometimes

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Speaker 2: I'm like apprehends I do. I get so excited when

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Speaker 2: I'm writing so fast and I can't keep up. But like,

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Speaker 2: I love a card. I think it means so much

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Speaker 2: and it's just like it's that extra little, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: personalized thing. So whatever you do, just make sure that

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Speaker 2: you have a handwritten card side your gift.

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Speaker 1: All right, you guys.

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Speaker 2: This segment has been brought to you by Macy's Remembers.

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Speaker 2: Shop at Macy's or Macy's dot com or in store.

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Speaker 2: We got a big show coming up. Join us on

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Speaker 2: the tube.

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Speaker 1: Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts.